Tel;l me a bedtime story, Datalounge

Go nifty.org and you'll have a nice wet dream.

How about the original version of [italic]Cinderella[/italic] where the stepsisters cut off their feet to fit in the slipper and then get their eyes pecked out by ravenous birds.

Or the original version of [italic]The Little Mermaid[/italic] where she dies and turns into sea foam.

Or the original version of [italic]Pinocchio[/italic] in which Jiminy Cricket is a minor unnamed character whom Pinocchio slaughters with an axe.

Once upon a time there was a fat orange ogre who lived in a big White House.....

Today is the last day that I’m using words. They’ve gone out, lost their meaning - don’t function anymore.

Good night.

Once upon a time there was a beautiful girl who longed for a handsome prince. She has been blessed by the fairies at her christening with beauty, wisdom, righteousness, and perfectionism, but she was cursed with a slovenly father and evil grasping stepsiblings. But her hard-working kind mother told her that one day her prince would come, and she worked hard at her studies and her calligraphy and her suitcase packing to make that day come all the sooner.

Meanwhile, at the palace of a foreign kingdom was a sad handsome prince whose grandmother ruled all the land. He had been the son of a beautiful princess who had been killed by peasants. This prince too was cursed, with a cold elder brother who would one day be king, and the brother's pretty and fertile but unfeeling wife, one who possessed no particular packing skills of any note.