Do unattractive guys miss out on something significant?

[quote] I'm ... older than 35, younger than 40.

I hope it's not 36. 36 is the worst.

OP, it's not for you to decide if you are attractive or not. Really it's so sad that you feel that way. Look, I am the type that you probably find attractive, I actually look a lot like the guy in your pic, and I have a good body, I have modeled for years, but I have never liked my looks.I am embarrassed by them. All my life I have felt like a circus freak. I am very attracted by ' average' men. I find them masculine, reassuring, sexy. I always chase them. What you' ve missed is probably tons of casual sex so what ? OP I would LOVE to have an average, normal guy in my bed, but I have been such a slut all my life (and I look it, ridden hard, put away wet) that ' serious ' guys never pay attention. I've become the ' body ' that you call if you want to have hot uninhibited sex with. I have the hottest ass, and they never call twice, except to watch me done by a friend. That's what you've missed.

Bonnie Franklin and Diana Ross says your should discuss it with your mirror.

say*

I'm afraid you'll have to address this question to someone else.

OP this really is one of the dumber posting I've seen. What's with the stupid picture? Can you tell us? Can you? Was there any REAL reason that you felt the need to post the picture of someone you'll never look like or have in your posting? Could you at least be honest enough with us and tell us that? We're not here to feed your filthy fucking pity party that you so desperately seek OP, go to your mom or your therapist for that. You are a loser OP. A stone cold loser. I hate your guts. I wish you'd never been born. You are fat and ugly. Nobody likes you. They never have and they never will. Now just leave!

R6 call me I need a hate fuck

R2's very interesting take reminds me of this movie where one of the characters is a player that confides in some other character, "I just want someone to hold me and tell me that everything is going to be okay."

Loon alert at R6

r6 = Naomi Campbell

I',m puzzled why you used this photo too, OP. Care to explain?

People treat your differently if you're attractive. It's not just getting hit on, but it's also being served first, a cashier not ringing something in, and so on. And yes, that happens. Not as much now that I'm nearing 40, of course.

Sweetheart it has to come from within.

Because he has something I'll never have, r11.

What is it like to move through life like that?

[Quote] have I missed out on some transcendent experience?

No. The best looking people I've fucked weren't the best sex.

My pussy stinks.

The people who fuck you are probably better looking. The syphilis is pretty much the same.

R8 was that Notting Hill? And I'll second R2. I can't say that facially I am attractive, but I had the body and dong which more than made up for any perceived issues with my face. And I'm not unattractive by any means, just average. And yeah, back in my 20s and even early-30s, sex with hot guys was awesome. Now, not so much and that kind of sex bores me and is ultimately unfulfilling (and has led to problems with my current partner).

Another anecdote I can offer is the situation of my good girlfriend. In her teens and 20s she was something of a Zeta-Jones-esque looker, pale skin with dark hair, always wore a lot of siren makeup with red lips and dark eyes, killer body with huge boobs. Everyone was attracted to her, even for gay men as a fun gal pal to be seen with in public. Unfortunately she got so accustomed to getting by on her looks, she never really develoepd any kind ability to do things without them. Fast forward 10 years and now she's horribly overweight, a total mess, no job and living at her mother's, caking on makeup which now makes her look like a chubby clown. And what kills me is that she still tries to do the flirty sexy thing in an attempt to get her way, and it falls flat like a hot poo out a horse's rear. And truly, it was people's adoration of her beauty, and it's subsequent departure, that led to her having such a difficult time in her 30s.

Oh, I‘be been beautiful. And God. knows I’ve been young. But never the twain have met.

Uglies who are horse-hung miss out on nothing!

Erna, weren't you dead ?? Why are you still here ?

I’d rather be hung and average than not hung and gorgeous

I'd rather be average and not hung. The best sex I ever had was with average guys.

OP you should have put a picture of someone who you feel is like you in looks say what most people feel is a 5 out of 10.

I'm a 3 out of 10 and yeah life hasn't been fun. Too tall and lanky, bald at 18, thick facial features and tiny dick. I see happy couples in the street all the time and it makes me so sad. I've never chased even any 7 out of 10 and I've always been rejected. When I was very young I could pick up guys occasionally but after seeing my dick there were no second dates. And I can't even tell you the number of times I picked up somebody in a dark place and when we got into the light they turned on their heels and walked away from me either saying something awkward or not saying anything at all. And nothing but nothing has ever given me the pleasure of what I imagine to be having great sex with somebody you're crazy about or just having giddy fun with someone who makes you feel really alive.

I was never into the baths or glory holes or orgies. Just not into anonymous sex. So I missed out on everything and despite what people will say I had no choice in the matter. I tried having other interests, hobbies, adult education, and joining groups but it always left me feeling empty. In other words I'm an Eleanor Rigby.

You should have become Don Burns, r24.

If you were in Logan's Run, you'd be dead by now, OP. Hold on to that.

Yes although few people want to admit it. Really attractive people do have an easier time in life. People give them the benefit of the doubt, they don't have to work as hard, they make more friends, they have more sex, they make more money. All true.

The downside is that when looks fade, if he hasn't made enough money, married well, or otherwise been smart about his youth, his life becomes very difficult. No one is impressed with a faded 50 year old trying to flirt like a handsome 25 year old.

That said, I've also know a number of handsome men who retained their looks throughout their life and their coast through it all was really remarkable.

No one said life was fair. And of course, really good looking people seldom have very strong characters or are very interesting. And they tend to be bad at sex. However, they don't generally care as their goal isn't to be good as sex. It's to have the other person be good.

[quote]No one is impressed with a faded 50 year old trying to flirt like a handsome 25 year old.

I may be 50, r27, but everyone thinks I'm 21.

The movie is The Wedding Singer r8.

In the bar Sammy tells Robbie -

What I’m saying is, all I really want is someone to hold me and tell me that everything is gonna be all right.

We don't know your age, Mary r24, but if you still have a decent boca and culo you can still find happiness at glory holes and even at the baths! You sound like a nice person. Don't envy those "happy couples" you see on the street because, ultimately, the Hershey Highway is the road to misery for those who take it the least bit seriously!

People who are extraordinarily attractive often miss out on human connections. They don't grow emotionally and psychologically.

Yes!!! Selfies with me!

[quote] And now that I'm in my late 30s, I realize my youth has faded. The train has left the station. I'm never going to be attractive.

OP, if you were female that may be true, but you're male. For many guys, they don't even start looking like a "man" until they approach 40. You may be at your attractiveness peak now and not even realize it.

Just as example, same guy in pic at age 25 left and age 37 right.

I pretty much coasted by on my looks most of my life . At 59 Im still told occasionally that Im handsome ,but I think that has more to do with being well groomed at this point. I was the original good time party boy ,went through men like kleenex and did absolutely zilch with my life . I had 2 long term relationships (12years,7) that both died on me and too many little ones to count. Ultimately here I sit,alone. I got lucky in that Im not poor,but Im too fat and not rich enough to sport a hot bf . Even one my age. I think I would have traded being considered good looking to have been a person of real substance . It aint easy being a relic of the 70s-80s , that most superficial and shallow of times.

Where did the eyebrows come from at r33, huh?

A lot, but on your deathbed it won't really matter.

What do you mean, R35?

People with wispy, barely there eyebrows don't suddenly grown them. And eyebrows are tricky to dye and retain a "real"/natural look. The noses are also very different. In short: The pic is of two gingers, not one ginge at two different ages.

*don't suddenly grow

It's not fake, R38. That guy has been all over news media.

As has this "before and after" pic, even though it features two different women.

OP, in twenty years, youll look at pictures from today and think how young and great you looked ... enjoy today and be open to others ...

I really wouldn't know. I've never been unattractive.

OP - some people have "extra" in a good way and some have "extra" that makes things/life more difficult.

Extreme good looks are a gift. Like being a gifted athlete, or creative genius, or analytical mind, a math wiz, or extremely kind and sensitive and perceptive, or extremely charming.

I had a boyfriend who was extremely optimistic and good-humored. I had two boyfriends who were models and then handsome professionals. I had a boyfriend who was so brilliant he got bored being a research scientist and became a corporate lawyer, got bored with that and designed and engineered super yachts.

People with extra will have some "transcendent experiences" that average folks do not have. Athletes for example.

That doesn't mean average folks can't have transcendent experiences.

Also, thank god if you are mostly normal and average. Imagine going through life with some handicap that makes things difficult. Imagine being quite ugly. Or having cerebral palsy or missing limbs. I know a guy, handsome, born without a rectum and sphincter.

Physical attractiveness is a double-edge sword as with most things in life

As singer Nanci Griffith says - when beauty is all you offer, how soon the world discovers that you beauty's gone

And as my friend Milly says, the really cute guys are lousy kissers

OP is your age somewhere between the Speedy Cleaners and Goldblatt's Delicatessen?

OP, that pic you posted could have been me, except I have blue eyes and dimples. Ugh. From age 9, I was singled out for my looks. By my teens, I was sought by girls to knock em up. Had I been perhaps more confident in my self over-all, I might not have has a miserable time.

All the attention was overwhelming for me. Yes, it got me all the hottest sex I could ever want but it was just that. Took me a while to make real connections. You are missing lots of attention I guess.

Hugs, r24.

Well OP, if you must know I am mostly a voyeur (not that I cannot be a whore too but it turns me on extremely to watch other people having sex. Any maybe part of it is that I get to sometimes watch extremely handsome people having sex. Ones that I know that I can never hot. Not that I am repulsive, I am average. Not that I am obese, but the body needs some work. Before covid, and depending on what city I was living in at the time through out the years, I would go to public places where people had sex (like parks, and woods, and nude beach areas) and bars where people would have sex, and bath houses and dirty book stores. I don't deny that I sometimes had sex too at those places but for the most part I would watch others and observe, and drool over the hunks having sex that I knew I could never have. What always shocked me the most is when someone who was SO hot would be having sex with someone who was SO repulsive, or fat, or ugly or nondescript. So to make a long story short (unless it is too late for that), My observations were that you didn't HAVE to be attractive to have sex with people who were attractive. Different strokes for different folks. And evidently not everyone is as shallow as I am.

I guess it shocks some average looking folks. but plenty of very hot attractive people don't mind having sex with normal folks or fuglies.

Well, how magnanimous of them, R50.

A lot of very good looking people don't develop engaging or pleasant personalities because when they're young they don't need to in order to attract people. As they age and their looks dwindle they often become despondent, insecure and sometimes angry because they can no longer attract people and their personalities stink, in other words they're toxic has beens and no one wants them.

Yes I’ve seen that in a lot of attractive women and gay men. They rely on their looks so much that when they are older and less appealing, they grow frustrated and angry because they don’t know how engage people and make an effort. Very Norma Desmond.

Aging will be a breeze for you while the formerly hot guys will be suicidal. I have a formerly hot friend who is miserable that nobody looks at him anymore. It's pathetic.

[quote] but plenty of very hot attractive people don't mind having sex with normal folks or fuglies.

How much do they charge for their services?

I suppose it's futile and far too much to ask for a bit of empathy for the formerly hots. Not all 10's were awful people when they were 10s. Now they are 5s like everyone else.

[quote] Not all 10's were awful people when they were 10s

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

[quote]Do unattractive guys miss out on something significant?

Yes, very significantly if he is also poor.

R 8: I am holding you in my mind . I promise you, everything will be all right. Now close your eyes and go to sleep. Things always look better in the morning .

Incredibly sexy, quirky or and attractive people don’t age well. You know who does? Plain looking people.

R24

As others have said, it's too bad because you're probably a lot more fun in bed than any of the good looking guys I've had sex with. It may not be universal but, for me, the better looking they were, the more boring in bed. (I don't even know how I ended up with them since on a good day I was a 4.) I still prefer normal, every day guys.

Having said that, it doesn't mean that I myself don't sometimes have a problem with my looks. I rarely take my own advice.

R44 -- what are you blithering about besides humbly telling us about your extraordinary boyfriends?