Weird British shit

Oh! And they say “she fell pregnant.” Like it just happened and nobody knows why. It’s like saying “she was struck blind.” So mysterious. What caused it? Who knows!

They pronounce Van Gogh as van-GAWG.

The Speaker in the House of Lords sits on a sack of wool. They have a "House of Lords". The country is run by a 90 year old woman They have quaint "cockneys" dropping their "aches" and shit. They're basically a Disney Land ride pretending to be a country.

They drive on the wrong side of the road. WTF?

The entire world dries their clothes on clothes lines, OP. Us, Canada, Australia and New Zealand I think are the weirdos who use dryers. And they don't have air conditioning because the climate is temperate, though that'll change with climate change. Most summer days are in the 70s, if that.

I do think the British Easter, where you get Good Friday and Easter Monday off for a four day weekend of watching football, getting drunk and having a big feast. Its basically their Thanksgiving, only in Spring.

Everything they do is so sophisticated and elegant, just like that Hyacinth lady on the teevee

I thought they said "in the family way" for women who are preggers?

They smell bad and their teeth are awful.

They have "bank holidays", which are holidays for no reason. Just "bank holiday". What the fuck is that?

The Church of England is a government agency. If you don't sign up somewhere else you're automatically in.

You need a license to own a TV set.

When I worked over there I could only get paid via direct deposit. They would not send or give me a check. You can't get a job unless you have a bank account.

To go in hospital where they are treated by "sisters".

R12, I applaud that.

R10: But only in England, you're totally free in Wales, Scotland and Northern Ireland cause they disestablished their churches there.

I've known a lot of Brits, so I won't say what they do is weird, just different.

The only thing that's really tripped me out is that they enter buildings on the ground floor and go up to the first floor while, at least in the US, we enter on the first floor and go down to the ground floor.

What the fuck is an "A level"?

They put up with slightly disturbed and dysfunctional Yanks, who can’t see their own fucked-up mess, but instead start threads called things like ‘Weird British shit’.

Beans on toast is the ultimate comfort food.

They say a reflexive "stood" instead of "standing."

Examples: "I was stood next to her."

I like almost all British differences from Americans, but that one is *really* weird and annoying.

And those beans are a pallid pink color.

Private schools are called "public schools." Are you fucking trolling the whole world with that "Great" Britain?

Tell me about it!

R17: Advanced Level. Think AP over here.

The reason so many Brits don't own clothes dryers is because there are so many very, very old dwellings that just don't have the room for a gas or electric dryer.

Conversely, South Africa is, like the US and Australia, a fairly new country, yet a huge number of S'Africans don't own dryers. Why buy a dryer when household "help" (if you know what I mean and I think you do) is so cheap, prevalent and readily available?

You need a prescription for an enema. No Fleet enemas for sale there.

And what's so "Great" about you? Who names themselves "Great"? Over-compensating much, Britain?

OP Much of the world says 'He is called X' for 'He is named X'

eg French 'appeler', Spanish 'llamarse', Portuguese 'Chamar-se' etc.

once again, you guys are the odd ones out and you don't realise (not realize).

PS Also R1, at least no-one says 'WE are pregnant', which is an especially grating, anatomically impossible Americanism.

The reason most Britons don't own dryers is not really that of space, r25. Even council houses are often 2 up 2 down with a garden.

It's the fact that the UK has some of the highest utility prices in the world.

They pronounce the surname Bucket as "bouquet".

Huh, R24?

Bless your heart, R17.

They used to think they owned the Irish! WTF!

They eat baked beans for breakfast and enjoy some good old Spotted Dick.

R31: Are you American? Have you not heard of AP classes in American High Schools?

To spell it out for you, it's an end-of-school qualification that you take in England, Wales, and Northern Ireland (Scotland has its own different system) and is the most commonly used means to differentiate between candidates for university places.

A Levels are 'Advanced Levels' you take between the ages of 16-18 to determine if you'll get into university. They've been pretty much replaced by the baccalaureate now.

The reason you'll hear "Someone called Harry" as opposed to "Someone named Harry" is because many people in the UK use nicknames in their day to day life. Harry is called by his nickname, whereas he is named Henry. To say "Someone named Harry" would usually be incorrect because no one would name their son "Harry" if that's what they wanted to call him. They'd name him Henry and then call him Harry.

Clothes dryer is not ‘green’

r28, I agree, I HATE "We are pregnant" with the heat of a thousand suns.

Pregnant = Up the duff

Ok, we know what an A-Level is. So what is an O-Level and a GCSE?

A High School Diploma is much simpler.

Oh, and men don't have fannies there.

O Levels were abolished years ago. GCSE is General Certificate of Secondary Education and is taken at the end of schooling aged 16.

Ground floor

The eat beans on toast in certain parts of Maine

R42: Ordinary Level. But that's been replaced by the GCSE, which is how you "leave" secondary school (you don't graduate).

R43: No, the have juicy bums.

R45: Perfumery, stationary, leader boots, wigs and haberdashery, kitchen ware and shoes, going up.....

So incredible to me that straight men would find R6 ‘s photo unbelievably hot. Meanwhile, I shake my head in disgust and tell myself I’ve lived too long.

They don't use the word "sat" correctly. Instead of asking where were you sitting or seated, a stupid Brit would ask "where were you sat? "

maths

Chuffed. Knackered. Bodge. Fag.

Don't forget Bollocks.

Knight of the Garter? Garter? WTF. Sounds rapey.

Elton John is a knight. The man can hardly walk, he's not riding a horse in armor with a Lance.

This thread is really very funny. I’ve laughed so hard I’ll need to go to hospital!

Mum

We do the "called" instead of "named" in the US South, as well. Probably for the same reasons R38, provided.

R50 Maths actually makes more sense because it is the shortened version of mathematics.

Dame Elton probably fucks a Lance, but he doesn't carry one.

The cups of coffee are tiny and there are no free refills. I asked for cream with my coffee and they said they didn't have any because I didn't specify milk, I suppose. You have to ask for water with a meal and sometimes they act very put out at providing it.

Few big grocery stores, very little in the way of over the counter medications. The medications they do have tend to be a lot cheaper than we pay at least.

Some restaurants don't seat you and if there aren't any seats I guess you just leave because there is no where to wait.

I love Britain. Are there really small, quaint towns like in Midsomer Mysteries, full of weirdos and eccentrics that sometimes commit murder in their spare time?

R6: Elegant indeed.

Mad cow

We didn't have breakfast television until the mid-80s, because it was considered an "indulgence" - and because the newspapers were against it.

R57: English Rose Bitch PLEASE! Not on your life!

Ever been to the Slaughters, R59?

R58 What kind of OTC medicines were you looking for? Unless it's prescription only ie controlled, you can get anything from a pharmacy.

[quote] The cups of coffee are tiny and there are no free refills. I asked for cream with my coffee and they said they didn't have any because I didn't specify milk, I suppose. You have to ask for water with a meal and sometimes they act very put out at providing it. Some restaurants don't seat you and if there aren't any seats I guess you just leave because there is no where to wait.

Blimey, R58 don’t want much, does she?

R62: Except, much like over here, people listened to the radio in the morning. Breakfast TV didn't take off until the late 70s at the earliest stateside. It was on the air on NBC but not many were watching....

"Uni" as a shorthand reference to the word "university". I'm basically an anglophile, but that makes me cringe. Oh, and as someone else mentioned dropping the article, as in "in hospital", as opposed to "in THE hospital". I absolutely hate that specifically.

I’d love a corresponding thread about the US. The weird food, the guns everywhere, god-botherers being elected to things, people writing “more then”, neighbourhoods without any pavements, giant vats of food being delivered to your table as if you are going to settle there for a couple of weeks eating cold fries, gigantic churches that people go to when it isn’t even for a wedding...

Americans are crazy over their Royals

R58 have you not heard of 'making a reservation'?

"Taking the piss" is not a sexual act?

Metric system

[quote]The reason you'll hear "Someone called Harry" as opposed to "Someone named Harry" is because many people in the UK use nicknames in their day to day life. Harry is called by his nickname, whereas he is named Henry.

No. The British use "call" the way Americans use "name" regardless of what given name, surname name, or nickname they're referring to. For example, "She's still called Smith" means she's a spinster who was born Smith and never married (and thus changed her surname).

They insult you to your face and then ask you to agree with them, as in 'That vest is a little tight around the middle, don't you think?'

They don't know from toaster ovens. When I lived there and tried to explain what they are, the Brits looked at me as if I were describing a space ship. They are also incredibly passive aggressive, refusing even a hint of confrontation or conflict, tightly smiling and claiming everything is fine, when they would secretly like to kill you. But it's the lack of toaster ovens that is the big problem.

And they're a terrible lot of sots to boot.

R76 Do you mean a 'toaster'?

Unless you lived here in the 50s (which I'm suspecting), every house has a toaster.

R49, a lot of these 'I was sat next to', 'I was stood' etc are regional malapropisms. The UK and Ireland have an incredibly diverse range of accents, dialects, as well as various non-English indigenous languages.

Oh, R71 - I was talking about little coffee shops, not fancy restaurants like the tourists go to.

R78 is a Brit proving the point.

R78: I was just gonna say, toaster ovens aren't common over here in the States. I've only ever been to one house that has one, (cat sitting job) and that was this year. Most people have toasters. But these people didn't and I had to do my poptarts in the toaster oven. It's weird.

R2: "Van Gawg" is closer to the actual Dutch pronunciation, whereas "Van Go" would sound odd to Dutch and British people alike. The British also place the emphasis in "Amsterdam" on the last syllable, like the Dutch.

R82 OK I'm really confused. Wtf is a 'toaster oven' if not a 'toaster'?

A grill?

R64, I have! I've even been to the house on the right of your picture, on the water.

“They don’t know from...” r76. How, in the name of God, is that expression even considered to be normal?

if they want to make it big, they move to the US

We've had them R69.

This thread make me laugh. Imagine how boring the world would be if we were all exactly the same.

English friends thought I was crazy when I told them I had never seen an electric tea kettle before. They asked me how I boiled water for tea. I told them we put a kettle or pan with water on the stove or we use a microwave oven.

R84, it's a tiny oven that sits on the counter. It has a rack inside. You can use it as a little broiler to toast bread, or you can bake small things in it. Handy for heating pizza, baking potatoes, making small cakes.

R90, you microwave water????

Many American homes have toaster ovens! R82 is f***ed.

R86, it's from Yiddish.

R83 Actually the most accepted British pronunciation of Van Gogh is 'Van Goff" as in "cough".

Yes, r92. They even do it in Australia too. This is from "Muriel's Wedding."

R2 that is the correct pronunciation of the name, regardless of what country you’re in. Unless you live in a red state.

Why would you need a 'toaster oven'? What purpose does it serve that your grill (or 'broiler'), over or toaster cannot fill?

Vegemite or the British equivalent (names escapes me). It's supposedly a petroleum by-product. Disgusting. They smear it on "soldier toasts" or "soldiers" LOL

R93: No, honey. They don't.

R84: This is what they look liked.

R98: Bourgeoisie pretension. I've never seen one in a home until this year.

R87, to be fair the US makes everyone big. I blame the high-fructose corn syrup.

Piers Morgan, Simon Cowall, James Corden: were certainly sending you our best and brightest.

I am American and hate toaster ovens. The don't toast bread properly.

I love that this thread has devolved into the existential qualities of a toaster oven.

Every friend I've had from the UK had those electric tea kettles but I know I've seen shows like AbFab that had kettles on their stovetops.

Breville is the best. We never use the big oven anymore.

Toaster ovens are counter top space wasters.

They put an r sound between words when the first word ends with a vowel sound and the second word begins with a vowel sound.

I have electric tea kettles in all of my homes. They are my favorite small appliance. So much easier for making tea. It's also handy when you need hot water in a hurry.

R105: Are you squirrels? You can't fit anything in there. Anything that can't fit in the toaster either goes in the oven or the radar range. Toaster oven, my ass.

R107 We do?

R104, stovetop kettles (not “tea kettles” which is just a twee Americanism) only exist on TV in the UK nowadays. They are loud, so Edina and Saffy can bicker audibly while waiting For it to boil.

R2: They pronounce lieutenant as "LEFF-tenant". There's no explanation why they inserted a random f into a French word.

The electric kettle is very British.

I've had friends/family from the continent look upon it with wonder and not know what it was. Though to be fair they don't have the same culture of tea drinking at every hour of the day or night.

I used my electric kettle a few minutes ago and I'm enjoying my cuppa tea.

No, r74.

For surnames, one would say "She still goes by Smith".

Only the working class or Northerners might use "called" in the lazy way you claim, and seldom even then.

I’m going to boil the kettle now and dunk a couple of ginger snaps before I get some kip.

[quote] Why would you need a 'toaster oven'? What purpose does it serve that your grill (or 'broiler'), over or toaster cannot fill?

I had one. It was mainly used in the summer months because it didn't heat up the kitchen as much as turning on the regular oven. I also used it during the holidays as an extra oven for small things or to keep things warm.

R116 Ginger nuts. Get it right.

R118, I can’t say “nuts’. I’m terribly refined.

[quote]Weird British shit

Their love of that ugly no-talent Robbie Williams.

R120, Robbie is fairly gruesome, but the US spawned Kanye. We all have our problems.

R119: How wonderful for your husband that you are a wife of impeccable moral rectitude.

R98, a grill is not a broiler. A broiler heats from above.

The purpose of the toaster oven is in part to save energy. Why would you heat a huge oven for anything less than a roast, a pizza, or a casserole?

I hate that I've become one of the toaster-oven whisperers on this thread. I've never had one and I don't particularly like them. They take up space on the counter. But people keep asking uninformed questions about them.

Brits like James Corden (a poor representative, I know) pronounce Los Angeles as "Los Angeleeze". Hey twat, Spanish and Greek aren't interchangeable.

Richard does appreciate me r122!

r105, how much are you fatties cooking?

my toaster oven can toast 6 slices of bread; alternatively, i cook bacon, and re-heat 3 slices while i toast 2 pieces of bread.

but we aren't trying to smoke a side of beef in the thing.

Skinny pasty guys with moles and stank sleeves are considered hot pron stars

The royal family.

R123 We call a 'broiler' a 'grill'. The word 'broiler' is meaningless in the UK.

Our grills heat from above. When you say you're going to 'put something on the grill' we'd say we're going to 'put something on the barbecue'.

R128, Please capitalise Royal Family. It physically stings when a British person sees the phrase in mere lower case.

I hate the way they use "I've" to mean "I own/possess." For example, "I've a job that requires wearing a mask 8 hours a day, and now I've some acne on my chin from it." Or "I've a migraine" or "I've a job with my dad's firm." It sounds so fucking stupid.

The only people who don't have tumble dryers are either very poor or very old. OP, are you posting from 1970?

"I've" means "I have" in that context, r131, not "I own/possess"

Why do US flat-dwellers have to use some communal laundry room like something out of a Soviet state?

A washing machine only costs £200 or so. Are you all poor?

R113, electric kettle is a fixture in Asia -almost all hotels will have that over a coffee maker.

R135 Yes. Because they drink tea in Asia.

R134 you need space for it?

When you go to the shop to buy toothpicks for the afternoon's canapés, the staff direct you to the toothpaste aisle.

r134, Many buildings don't allow them as water is included in the rent (or maintenance if it's a co-op) and the water bill for the building would be out of control. (Individual water meters are not installed.) Plus in many of the older apartment buildings, the floors would vibrate and were not reinforced.

Some buildings also don't allow dishwashers.

That's more of a yesteryear TV drama thing, R131. No-one has actually spoken like that since the early 20th century.

Beginning sentences with “right...”

Responding to sentences with “brilliant!”

Going on holiday.

Going to hospital.

Going to university.

To elaborate R134 most newer apartments have space for or come with washer/dryers. Older ones may still have to use communal facilities.

Sixth Form College?

Dear US correspondents: “I could care less”??? - THAT IS NOT WHAT YOU MEAN!

R133 I literally said that in my post. "I've acne"="I have acne". I mean it is annoying and outdated sounding when "I've" is used as a singular possessive, in contrast to it being used as an auxiliary verb, such as "I've started working downtown."

R86 - R76 here. I guess I started the avalanche of toaster oven debates and frankly, I don't know from what you're complaining about.

On the dole.

R146, I see what you’ve done there, and I am not rising to the bait.

Fanny pack.

You people are frightful.

You have to say it with a rising inflection r144. And with a shrug in your voice.

Think Judy Holliday in BORN YESTERDAY with William Holden.

R143 It's a college where people will continue their education post 16 ie for A Levels or equivalent qualifications. Forms 1-5 were the standard forms/classes at secondary school (now called Years 7-11). Sixth Form Colleges ( formerly Lower Sixth and Upper Sixth) now cover Years 12-13 (ages 16-18) before university.

I'm trying to explain as best I can but I've managed to even confuse myself.

A toaster oven is good for making something like a tuna melt. It heats both top and bottom of your sandwich, toasting the bread on the bottom and melting the cheese on top. Do Brits actually put tuna in their toasters?

It's also good for frozen pizza.

Thanks r151. For the most part college and university are interchangeable in the US, so I never got that British reference.

R152, tuna melts are rightly made under the grill or in a Breville sandwich maker.

R152 No. If we want to make a tuna melt, we use a pan.

This toaster oven idea is a revelation to me. I had no idea such a thing existed. I can't imagine a British person ever being able to justify its existence to another British person. They'd be laughed out of the house.

What does "under the grill" refer to, the broiler? The bottom doesn't get toasted.

I don’t know what a broiler is. It sounds like a chicken, maybe?

Tuna melts can be made under the grill, toasting first one side, then the other. Or in a sandwich maker, which toasts both sides at the same time.

R157 O god do NOT get them started on the sandwich maker!

Oprah named the Breville panini press one of her favorite items in the late 2000s.

“They say “called” instead of “named,” as in ‘A woman called Mary lives next door.’“

It occurred to me when I did a study abroad at Cambridge 20 years ago that British English has a lot more French influence than US English does.

The French say “Je m’appelle,” “Il s’appelle,” etc. (“I call myself” instead of “my name is.”)

French people, like Brits, will make a declarative statement and then passive-aggressively force you to agree with them, won’t they?/n’est-ce pas?

R159, The late 2000s??? They’ve been around for at least 40 years!

[quote]The electric kettle is very British

They're also found in basic hotel rooms all across Europe, right next to the coffeemaker.

They say "Dockerty" as in "hickory, dickory, Doherty" instead of "Doh!-erty" the way Jesus intended.

R162 Yes. They are found in every British home but are rare in homes on the Continent to the extent a lot of Europeans won't have seen one before they come to the UK. HAPPY NOW?

So I went to the Argos website, and they do have Toaster Ovens in the UK, but they are referred to as Mini Ovens.

r163: that's a southeast pennsylvania thing too.

The electric kettle is also so you don't have a hob on all day while making endless cups of tea. Lower gas bills and apparently kitchen fires dropped by a significant percentage after they came into common use.

breville makes a kick-ass tea maker too

"Gobsmacked" just sounds gross.

R165 I think they're for people living in hostels who don't have a kitchen they can cook in. You know, like when they've just got out of prison or something.

I genuinely cannot think of any reason why anyone with a functioning kitchen would need one.

I agree r170. I lived in some grim halls of residence while studying in France which had no oven, and just one of those sad little things on top of the work surface. I couldn’t even begin to think what it was for at first.

This is the original General Electric Toast-R-Oven. You don't have to put anything "under the grill" (which in the US, would mean on top of the charcoal briquettes in your Weber Grill). You make your tuna melt and stick it in the Toast-R-Oven.

because you don't want to spend 20 minutes heating up a whole oven when you can more efficiently heat up a smaller oven to cook more quickly with less strain on the environment.

You queens are still talking about toaster ovens?

Well, some are still stumping for "under the grill," r174.

The British are less likely to use foul language.

So this thread should be entitled 'Weird British Excrement'

They sure like "cunt" a lot R176.

“Cunt” is not always a curse, r177. In some parts of my Scottish homeland it is a term of endearment.

Yeah 'cunt' in Britain can vary from the worst word you could ever hear to a term of affection accompanied by a ruffling of hair.

It's all down to the context.

We have rules about which can and can't be said on TV at certain times, but if those rules are broken they're just laughed off. We are, oddly, a lot more easy-going than we might come across. It always makes me laugh when American celebrities appear on British talk shows and are amazed they can swear and it won't end their career.

They know more gossipy bullshit about people on American reality shows than I do.

R99 Marmite and Vegemite are yeast extracts and are byproducts of beer brewing, nothing to do with petroleum. And you have it on regular toast - soldiers are dipped in a soft boiled egg.

R173 Your oven takes 20 minutes to heat up?

R181 For me, (not R173), it has more to do with not wanting to heat up my house in the Summer and therefore having to use the air conditioner more.

"Bloody" being a swear word. It's as if you said "motherfucker" or something.

Really caring about being knighted and becoming a dame, etc. IMO, that's like getting an honorary Ph.D. and you never went to school.

"The British only know three vegetables and two of them are cabbage!"

They are enamored of their own accent and like to hear themselves speak.

R183 Recently, I've been watching the old US soap The Doctors from the late 1960s. They used bloody a lot to take the place of American swear words, that were banned on US tv at the time.

Americans only know one portion size and it is “extra-large”.

“The Church of England is a government agency. If you don't sign up somewhere else you're automatically in.” You’re only CoE if you actively attend a CoE church or put your religion down as CoE on official forms or something.

“You need a license to own a TV set.” Sort of. Legally you only need a licence to watch live-airing TV shows. You don’t need a licence if you have a TV but only use it for Netflix, catch-up services, or to connect to a DVD player or games console. But the TV licensing board assume everyone with a TV uses it to watch live-airing TV, so you have to prove you don’t.

“Private schools are called "public schools."”

Private schools and public schools are different things. State schools are what Americans call public schools, ie free to attend. In Britain most fee-paying schools are called “private schools” same as in the US. The vast majority of British private schools are not public schools.

“Public schools” are a specific sub-set of private school which are ancient, and very expensive and elite. There are only 24 public schools in the UK (by contrast there are more than 30,000 private schools). They are called public schools because hundreds of years ago they were the only schools which were open to the general public, the only other schools being church schools.

“Vegemite or the British equivalent (names escapes me). It's supposedly a petroleum by-product.” Marmite is made from yeast extract, which is a by-product of industrial beer brewing. Nothing to do with petroleum.

No one under the age of 90 considers “bloody” to be a swear word.

[quote]There's no explanation why they inserted a random f into a French word

To annoy the French, obviously. It's why we do about 90% of the things we do.

Why do so many Americans think the British should be just like us? I spent a lot of time there in the 1990s for work and have been back a few times for vacation. The place never ceases to amaze me. Just consider all that has come out of this relatively small place known as the UK for hundreds of years.....in art, music, theater, medicine, philosophy, all the sciences, literature....and even today. And there is only about 65 million of them!

The British use third person plural (they) verbs in place of third person singular (it/he/she) subjects when the subject noun implies more than one person.

Our entire staff were let go... v. Our entire staff was let go.

British Airways fly to these continents... v. British Airways flies to these continents.

Manchester United were victorious... v. Manchester United was victorious.

"not in place of;" rather "with"

British people would be amazed at how little Americans think of them at all.

R164: I grew up in the Netherlands, where electric water kettles are as common as toasters and refrigerators--a fixture in every kitchen. Same in Germany.

[quote} OK I'm really confused. Wtf is a 'toaster oven' if not a 'toaster'?

They're not new. I moved out on my own in 1977 and I've had a toaster oven since then (not the same one, obviously).

I first saw one at my aunt's house in 1966 and my mother asked for one for that Christmas. It can function as a traditional toaster but it's also very handy for heating up things that would wilt in a microwave (pizza) or when you don't want to take the trouble to use the regular oven. It also has a broiler so you can melt cheese on top of things. It's perfect for bagels as they don't get stuck.

Americans would be amazed by how we think them so little.

Thanks OP. I've laughed myself sore from this thread. I just got Britbox and I'm loving it. I love the grey skies, the proper cuppa, the imperfect teeth, the morning drinking and calling people cunts. I never knew there were so many ugly actors. Entire shows of unfuckable people. We don't do that here. Also, I had no idea there were so many dead children and abducted women in such a small country. Luckily, you have all those detectives to get it sorted. Odd bunch that lot.

The reason that you can't do a-weird American shit- thread is because it's not nice to make fun of retards.

UK here, and I wish we had air conditioning. I love it anytime I stay in the US. Summers are getting hotter here

R164 is probably thinking about Southern Europe, where tea is not as popular.

I think I might actually get a toaster oven, just add it to the weird air fryer and all thebothe shit in my kitchen that I don’t use.

I'm the Brit who caused the toaster oven derailment and I'm getting one first thing in the morning.

Just so I can prove how utterly pointless they are, obviously.

And pretend I've just got out of prison.

For R5's information, Australia invented the Hills Hoist, clothesline par excellence.

Most middle class people have electric dryers, but the only people who use them consistently are apartment dwellers. People with back yards still hang clothes out. Why wouldn't you, when it's spring/summer weather nine months of the year? During actual summer, it's possible for one load of clothes to dry on the line before the next load comes out of the washer.

R192 - not correctly, they don't. People make grammatical mistakes all the time, but that's not a specifically British one. The pronoun and verb should match.

R194 - no, they wouldn't. The rest of the world strongly believes Americans (as a nationality) never think about anything but themselves, their country and their Gad. The Narcissist in Chief is not helping that impression to abate.

BTW, the correct [Dutch] pronunciation of Van Gogh is Van Gock, only with a slightly breathier sound than our hard K. So all English speakers regularly get it wrong, but so what?

R198 does make a good point about ugly actors on TV shows.

I've always found the differences between the US and UK (original) versions of 'The Office' instructive. The original version works because the show is a show about FAILURE: being 30, not having qualifications or a direction in life, living in a shitty industrial town doing a boring job with a wacko boss. Thus, the extreme plainness of the cast gives the show that punch in the gut quality, you know you're watching the ennui of so many people's real lives.

The Americans can't really recreate that because all their actors are too handsome, and so we can't really believe they could be that miserable. Perhaps that's the reason US sitcoms all have that aspirational quality, and when they want to punch down they have to turn to cartoons (Family guy, South Park etc).

See also the absurd and misnamed 'Ugly Betty'.

"I'm having a shit"

Not all US sitcoms. Cheers was remarkable for being a successful show about failure, in the Greed is Good 1980s no less.

I never toast bread in my toaster-oven, it's not very good at that. But I use it more than my full-sized oven. It will fit a 13"x9" pan (without handles), so I've made plenty of casseroles in it. It's great, and faster, at many small baking/reheating tasks (avoiding the soggy steamed microwave syndrome), and uses much, much less electricity than cranking up and preheating the full-sized oven for such small tasks. That fact is something I would think Brits might be interested in, given the electrical rates you pay.

English tourists seem to all have "Cut in a line" on their to-do lists for their American vacations. I used to work at a tourist spot and I saw English people doing this so much I swear it's a thing.

They'd come up to a register looking confused and trepidatious, pause for a moment, and then get this look on their faces like "I'm goin' in." Then they'd cut in to the front of the line.

The people behind them would bitch them out usually and they'd apologize profusely and go to the back, but a few of them just stubbornly ignored it and stuck out making their purchases like they were accomplishing something.

Y'all, that's strange.

R208, I jumped the queue in Whole Foods in Union Sq in New York because it really seemed like a free-for-all. Apparently I needed a ticket to go to a checkout. Wtf???

[quote] just add it to the weird air fryer

An air fryer is itself an oven. It is just a rebranding of a countertop convection oven.

I'm sure that R202 is trying to be cute, but it will change your life.

R208 I don't believe you. The queue is sacred to all Brits.

It's pretty much the only thing all Brits have in common.

We don't need to be taught the ins and outs and the dos and don'ts of queuing. It's just inherent. It's just there when we are born.

R212 I seen it. It appeared to be on purpose.

Maybe they were getting wild on vacation R213.

My mom and grandparents came to the U.S. from Britain after the war, so I was raised with very specific cultural differences as a child. Our sandwiches were buttered, no matter what's in the middle, salmon, peanut butter, jam... We were served Italian meat sauce and chili with mashed potatoes. Someone who talks too much is a "bletherer". They said "Cherrio" at leaving time. We had a singing tea kettle and you served tea in china. My grandmother would go ballistic if her tea was served in a mug. Potatoes were "to'oys". Cadbury's was the only worthy chocolate. My grandfather would sing "Knees Up, Mother Brown!" and my grandmother made him stop. It was a bawdy pub song. "Under the table you must go, e-i-e-i-e-i-o". The first person who goes into the house after the strike of midnight on New Year's Eve must have dark hair. So, one of the dark-haired guests was sent out of the party with a beer and a shot of whisky, and had to ring the doorbell after midnight. We had sausage rolls on New Year's Day. The mention of Wallis Simpson would raise the temperature twenty degrees, So would mentioning the French. I had to explain things to my friends if they came home with me. I also had to translate my grandmother's thick Scottish brogue.

It was fun, and I miss it all so much.

Americans run for office. They actively campaign for it.

The Brits stand for office. They just stand there and wait to be elected.

R216: Because the party does everything. Because British people only vote for the equivalent of the House of Representatives and therefore just vote for the party label on the ballot. Meanwhile, we Americans elect very fucking office under the sun over here. And our campaign finance laws penalize parties from getting too involved.....

I don’t think they are that weird.

The last Brit that was anywhere near as crazy as Trump what is Jack the Ripper.

At least they have a good sense not to elect him Prime Minister.

Was not what is

Here's a question for Brits about school. Do the high schools have mascots (Cavaliers, Wolverines, etc) and home/away games for whatever sports y'all do? Americans and their Friday night football games is well known. Do the universities have fraternities and sororities? If not, I'm curious how the "Greek" thing caught on here.

Lol no. Outside of the US, no-one gives a crap about high school sports.

It's very rare that anyone would actually go and watch kids of that age playing sport. Even if they do, it's usually watching something like football or rugby and they will be playing for a club or for their youth team, not for a school team.

What is funny about the Brits (mainly the English) is how weird they get about the royal family. I have impeccably liberal, and well-educated friends who get extraordinarily offended when anyone criticises the Queen. Once I posted that picture of Elizabeth, Margaret and the Duchess of York doing Nazi salutes on Facebook only to get a furious response from a university lecturer friend with a PhD.

On another occasion just before Harry and Meghan's wedding, and during the small window of time when Meghan was acceptable to royalists, I remember going to a language class with a youngish woman who had been in the army and how mad she got at every one of Thomas Markle's interviews.

I might have posted this before but it's well worth another runout.

Brits appear to only speak in two volumes, whisper quiet or yelling across a canyon.

Me and some friends had an English woman come up to us in Manhatten once and bellow "Are you local people?" in our faces like we were Amazonian villagers. She couldn't find Penn Station, and we couldn't help her, so we told her to ask the cop standing nearby. It was funny, rather than offensive.

This little old man promised free education for everyone in Britain's universities and millions of millennials believed him.

I always thought those tall bear hats were goofy looking.

Good god, R185’s pic will give me nightmares tonight. WTF?

Scotch Eggs!

Brian Blessed!

Brian Blessed ... eating a Scotch Egg!

I realise many Americans believe they are superior to the rest of the world. In some ways some years back that was true. You know, until Hollywood ran out of original ideas, the Kardashians replaced culture and mass shootings became an almost weekly occurrence.

A disturbing amount of you seem to believe Adam and Eve actually existed. You talk about the Land of the Free but have the highest incarceration rate in the world. You think that healthcare for all is worse than families becoming homeless because of the cost of treatments. You separate small children from their parents and put them in cages because they aren’t American, when you are a nation of immigrants.

Now, that’s all weird.

But hey...good dentistry. Be best !

No nation on Earth has mangled, garbled and just flat out ruined the English language more than the UK.

It is an epic irony.

R225 You mean the same way it was free until 1998?

R230 It's our language, we can do what we want to it.

Everyone, everywhere, now 'reaches out'. You no longer call, write to, contact, or get in touch. You 'reach out', and when you are replied to, the first sentence must thank you for having 'reached out'.

Weirdly obsessed with "Friends" and "The Big Bang Theory."

I like how the British pronounce "naturally."

I really like that they drop the “the” before bank and hospital. Makes more sense to me.

[quote] I realise many Americans believe they are superior to the rest of the world.

Coming from a Brit, the very definition of ironyproof.

They say, “I was sat there” instead of “I was sitting there” or “I was seated there.”

[quote] Weirdly obsessed with "Friends" and "The Big Bang Theory."

Not surprising as they think “Mrs. Brown’s Boys” and “Miranda” are great comedies.

R26 has stated his priorities like a good bottom.

R12 that’s not weird. It’s a European thing. In fact many things I read here are not necessarily British.

R12 that’s not weird. It’s a European thing. In fact many things I read here are not necessarily British.

They put vinegar on their chips.

Chips, not fries. Crisps, not potato chips. The way they pronounce "laboratory" and "schedule".

R242 I think it’s delicious. They also have fab tartar sauce with the fish. Yum

R242 I think it’s delicious. They also have fab tartar sauce with the fish. Yum

LOL R234 is funniest thing I’ve read on this thread. So true. 😂 😂 😂

Love the British accents 😬

Love the British accents 😬

I love Welsh accents rrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!!!!

Nothing sounds more insincere than an American commercial with a British voice over.

Apparently, the British don’t have any orthodontists.

EastEnders. What a f***ed up show! Brits, please explain!

ConcernedEuropean R233 are you German?

No shade, just wondering. It’s usually Germans who prefer referring to themselves as a “European” online, in an attempt to mask their nationality.

If not, please soldier on.

ConcernedEuropean is Melania. Don't tell DJT.

Malt vinegar on fri...oops, chips. So good. I find that in parts of Pennsylvania,too.

If I'm eating fried fish I will put malt vinegar on my fries.

I don't know how this thread got sidetracked but back to the main point of it - toaster ovens. A long time ago I had a combination toaster oven - microwave. It had a knob that switched it back from one to the other. It had separate controls for the 2 functions. I loved it. When it finally broke I couldn't find another one.

How can it be that people exist who never heard of toaster ovens? No one is heating up an entire kitchen turning on an oven when you can use a small appliance that can do the same for many things.

But yea the British aversion to articles is weird. Maybe they were once traumatized by the use of "the".

[quote]No one is heating up an entire kitchen turning on an oven

American ovens heat up the entire kitchen?

Mind the gap.

Did anyone mention how they don’t rinse plates after soaping them?

It’s crazy.

[quote]The Church of England is a government agency. If you don't sign up somewhere else you're automatically in.

Can someone explain this to me? I'm not sure what "you're automatically in" means.

I’m neither American nor British but I can say that the majority of the responses in this thread confirm my view that most Americans have no fucking idea about the world beyond their (invariably) square state.

While your current head of state is in place you are in no position to pass judgement on any other country. Get your shit together and shut the fuck up until you’ve removed Trump. Hopefully you will do that in November - it speaks volumes that this is not necessarily guaranteed.

When they say “Yeah, yeah, yeah!” multiple times in a row over and over and OVER! They sound like retards!

A few things I found a bit strange...

The cocktails could be served in an eyedropper. And although some London places have made a big deal about mixology (which is bullshit), they tend to suck. Stick to beer or gin if you are drinking in the UK and you will not be disappointed.

The Night of the Living Dead quality of nightlife. The lurching, spewing, groaning army of drunks weaving through streets at 10 PM are not to be found in urban centers in the US or Europe for the most part, save where UK tourists habituate.

The Tube is quirky but an engineering marvel. I was a bit put off by the dimensions, which seemed oddly under-scaled. When I visited a while back it seemed that they regularly broadcast apologies for shitty service the day before. No idea if they still do, but for some reason it was really fucking annoying. The fact that the Tube closes seemed weird to me (a New Yorker) but I understand that there are no double tracks and that repairs have to happen during shutdown.

The British hatred of cites seems pathological. We Americans have unfortunately inherited a great deal of it but it was somewhat counterbalanced by Francophilia and interest in skyscrapers and modernism. The crappiest American city always has some redeeming feature. The crappiest UK city is crap from beginning to end.

The redeeming feature of a crap American city is usually its art museum. The biggest dump in any given state usually has a museum with a Renoir and a Van Dyke and a Picasso and a Ming vase etc. And they are generally in beautiful buildings with thoughtful curatorial programming. UK museums outside of London are a grab-bag of shitty 19th century art and the odd Imperial haul locked up in what you would easily mistake for an 1880s Chicago slaughterhouse if it smelled a bit worse.

The nicest British place always has something a bit crap about it. I actually like this - I prefer it to the nicest American places with their over-scrubbed everything-must-be-perfect-or-I-will-go-insane-and-take-you-with-me tone. The flip side, however, is that while crap American places usually have some element that seems appealing - a nature spot, a funky shop, a roadside folk art display, a graffiti mural - crap UK places are absolutely irredeemably ugly. Crap America can be fixed with paint and paving. Crap UK needs the friendly bombs to fall on Slough.

The relative lack of tree-lined streets - or, to put it bluntly, trees - is off-putting. The Brits get all misty-eyed at the view of a copse. I always thought "Well, you'll shit blood if you ever see the Catskills".

R261 They're making it up, it's not true.

-- I really like that they drop the “the” before bank and hospital. Makes more sense to me.

It's also more consistent than "going to school" but "going to the hospital".

R266 No-one has ever said "going to bank" unless they're using 'bank' as a verb.

Half the time, they speak absolute gibberish, saying things like “I’m popping off for a lolly.” What?

Branston Pickle.

Thread closed.

It's illegal to discriminate against renting to people with pets, yet very few landlords allow pets.

Go ahead and take your landlord to court over it. You will win your case, and then be evicted at the end of your lease because the owner will suddenly discover they need to do a complete renovation of the apartment, which is a lie.

Yep, don’t ever eat off their plates or drink from their glasses. Caked on shit. They don’t know how to wash.

[quote] It's illegal to discriminate against renting to people with pets

Oh, dear.

The two separate taps, one hot, one cold. What the actual fuck?!

I will never understand that, R273.

I will never understand that, R273.

Apparently a source of endless amusement and ridicule to "Continentals" living in Britain, R273/R274/R75.

The rampant public drunkenness is strange. We saw so many absolutely trashed people out on the streets. Also what’s with the hen parties? Like bachelorette parties but everyone wears costumes? Bizarre.

For those looking for a reprieve.. or revenge.

Oh lord.. I just discovered there’s already a thread out there.

What's in a pickle sandwich?

There’s no such thing as a “pickle sandwich” in Britain. You might have a cheese and pickle sandwich, or a ham and pickle sandwich. The pickle in that case is a type of condiment with very tiny chunks of pickled vegetables in a thick sauce. Not pickle like a dill pickle.

Only old houses that haven’t been modernised have separate hot and cold taps, since they were built before modern hot water systems were the norm. I’ve never lived anywhere in the UK that didn’t have American-style mixer taps.

R281 I like a ploughman’s lunch.

About the taps, many B&Bs and hotels have the separate taps still too. Last time I was in the UK was las year.....

The weirdest thing: they don’t have a Constitution. To be fair, at least, without one, nobody can violate it, unlike over here, where it happens regularly.

If they DID have a Constitution, it would contain a provision that nobody is allowed to pronounce any foreign word properly, especially French words and names—Jacques Chirac is pronounced Jack Shi-rack. Macron is pronounced Mack-Ron.

It's almost as if they deliberately go out of their way, when it’s just as easy to pronounce a name correctly. Paa-sta instead of pasta. But we’ve been here on other threads. Americans are no language experts themselves, so ...

But we don’t have to be. In the US, wherever you look, in all directions as far as the eye can see, there's more US. But England is just this tiny island at the edge of the Continent. You’d think they’d have more exposure to other languages.

[quote]They say “called” instead of “named,” as in “A woman called Mary lives next door.”

I'm American and I say called sometimes. "His name is John but he's called Jack."

There's an American western novel and film, "A Man Called Horse".

"Call Me By My Name"

I don't think it's a British thing necessarily.

R114 stick us a brew on as well, would you, me darlin’? Strong, splash of semi-skimmed, one sugar. Lovely job.

[quote]I'm American and I say called sometimes. "His name is John but he's called Jack."

Um, yeah, your example is not what OP means, clearly. You say called when they're called by something other than their name. If his name was John and he was just called John, would you say "His name is John" or "He's called John?"

R283, they have a construction. It’s just unwritten.

* constitution

R79 you’d love my dad; in his dialect, he’d say “he was standing/stood as, “Him were stood”. I assume the auxiliary past subjunctive and the objective pronoun usage in tandem is a form leftover from Old English (think ‘Beowulf’) that somehow survived in remote time-capsule pockets of the West Midlands, but I’m not certain.

[quote]Um, yeah, your example is not what OP means, clearly. You say called when they're called by something other than their name. If his name was John and he was just called John, would you say "His name is John" or "He's called John?"

Well excuse me for living, I meant it didn't sound all that unusual or odd to me, as there are examples in American English where call or called is at least used. Anyway I know British people, in fact I'm related to a few, and I never heard them use "called" as in OP's example.

R260 Not only is that scandalous and gross, it's a health code violation in every city in the U.S. Can Brits not taste the soap residue?

R283, I’ve always heard Chirac pronounced Shee-rack in the UK. I’m confused as to why it would be pronounced any other way.

From Today's Guardian. A French Fry sandwich....just....why? Just get a plate of chips and eat them. But a sandwich? With WHITE bread? WHY?

I’ve never seen anyone in the Uk fail to rinse their dishes, but I have seen it happen a lot on TV dramas. Generally, I think it is because TV sets don’t plumb sinks into a running water source (using small amounts of water stored in pipes. so you rarely see taps running for long, if at all). You see someone turn a tap and the noise of water running, but rarely see the water flow!

Because it is delicious r293!

Parce qu'il est français, r292.

And now learn Van Gogh DL. So tired of hearing van Gawg or whatever everyone says

[quote] It's almost as if they deliberately go out of their way, when it’s just as easy to pronounce a name correctly.

They do. It’s a passive-aggressive way of asserting the superiority of the English language. They’re especially bad about it with French words and words from any country that used to be a British colony.

R292 it’s the “a” sound. They pronounce the second syllable with a flat a, the way we say “rack.” Instead of with an “ah” sound.

And that’s just one example. Jag-you-a, for jaguar. Nicka-rag-you-a for Nicaragua. We could go on, but there are other threads for this.

It’s almost deliberate, though, with French words.

Oui, j’en suis conscient Monsieur Deux Cents Quatre-Vingt Seize, mais pour les français (et parmis ses amis d’Outre-Manche) le façon de prononcer Chirac est Shee-rack.

R300 Chirac really isn’t a hard name to pronounce imo

I am gobsmacked that Americans don’t have kettles. Gobsmacked, I tell you.

I agree r300. It’s just a weird example for this thread, as most British people pronounce it fine.

We mangle lots of foreign language words. It’s something that we have in common with the US. I’m often genuinely baffled why you take so many place names from Europe but anglicize the pronunciation to the extent that the link is unintelligible.

Merci M'seiu tres cent. Mais vous n'êtes pas conscient que pour nous le façon de pronouncer le mot “rack” en anglais c'est “rack” which rhymes with the words pack, lack, sack, crack, and back.

Is that how the French pronounce Chirac? Chi-rack?

R2 No. It's more like Van GOFF

Yes, 304. I’m happy to be corrected, but that’s exactly how I have heard it pronounced.

R11 Not true. You need one if you:

- watch or record programmes on a TV, computer or other device as they’re broadcast - download or watch BBC programmes on iPlayer – live, catch up or on demand

If you don't do this then technically you do not need to pay for a TV license.

They refuse to pronounce President Obama's first name correctly, putting the emphasis on the first syllable. Say it how he says it, morons.

R306 who by? I've never heard it pronounced like that, anywhere in Britain.

It’s pronounced like the Bac in baccalauréat.

^^^prononcer

R304. The British mangle every possible French word they can when it's just as easy—easier—not to.

But as was said upthread, Americans are just as bad. But we're a whole ocean away.

R306. Do you pronounce Chirac to rhyme with the word “crack”? If so, that’s not correct.

R17 it's a qualification, that stands for Advanced Level, that you take between the age of 16 and 18 at a sixth form college or school. They are your ticket to University basically.

R311, then my French friends and colleagues were pronouncing it wrongly for years.

R312: As a grad student who hopes to be university professor soon in the states, I'm curious. If you do just the GCSE, can you do on to trade school? Or a a form of community college? Do they even have those over in the UK?

R76 toaster ovens are quite weird to us I admit. I first encountered one in New York and I had no idea how to use it, or what should go in it.

R313 maybe your ear just can’t tell the difference between the “a” sound in Chirac and the “a” sound in the word back.

There are many people in the US who can’t tell the difference between the “a” sound in Mary! and the “a” sound in “marry”. You might be one of these people.

R314 no such thing as community college here. You can go to more vocational-oriented institutions at age 16 (post GCSE) and study B-Techs instead of A Levels.

Mods, Skinheads, Casuals.

R317: Interesting. Thank you for the response.

R90 yeah that method of boiling a kettle seems very primitive to us, who have had electric kettles for decades by this point. Really the only time you would ever boil a kettle the American way is if you were camping and boiling on a fire or gas burner.

R127 the ONLY reason that guy made it as a porn star is his massive dick.

R316, I certainly wouldn’t claim my pronunciation of foreign languages to be perfect (u and ü in German frequently trips me up), but maybe differences in English pronunciation of “ack” is why we are disagreeing (in writing!) about the pronunciation of She-rack!

R307 or just ignore the ridiculous letters you get every two weeks threatening an ‘inspection’.

[quote] It occurred to me when I did a study abroad at Cambridge 20 years ago that British English has a lot more French influence than US English does.

They like to adopt current French words, too, for things that have ordinary English terms already, like "gateau" and "serviette" (the latter possibly to avoid confusion with baby's nappies). At least deluded upwardly pretentious people do.

Oi! Fit builder at R127!

R220 it would be very unusual for a school to have a mascot for sports events, we just don't tend to do that whole cheerleader type of thing. No one other than parents would go to watch a kid's sports game, and they wouldn't be big Friday night events.

No sororities or frats in the UK - no idea how that got started in the US.

R324, gateau is a specific cake. I don’t know how you would describe that in English otherwise. It is so firmly embedded in English that it is not considered as an adopted French word per se.

“Serviette” is declassé and should be avoided.

They have a dessert called Spotted Dick. Sounds like something that is treated at a free clinic.

They eat their tea..

Why do the British not go to the Dentist?

Are the British Dental problems due to the fact that the British do not treat their municipal water with fluoride?

Back to the kettle thing. Why do some of the shows there show characters filling a stovetop kettle?

What British dental problems are you referring to? Why do you assume British people aren’t going to the dentist? Not having glaring white veneers does not immediately equal dental problems. In fact having access to low cost dental care through the National Health Service means most people have healthy teeth. Fluoride levels are only supplemented where the water supply needs it.

R331 so we can comment about it on Datalounge obviously.

R332 - I would say that 90% of the actors I see on British Television shows have sub-standard teeth or dental work. I am surprised by the number of news anchors (presenters) on the BBC News shows (I have the BBC World News channel and watch nightly) that have sub-standard teeth.

R333 - Putting on the kettle (both stove & electric) is the main job of Alan (Derek Jacobi) on Last Tango In Halifax.

the fact that being an alcoholic by the time you're 11 years old is considered normal

How about a quooker? Instead of a kettle

How about a quooker? Instead of a kettle

What the fuck is a quooker?

Jimmy Carr got veneers a few years ago. I a few people commenting.

What's really the absolute weirdest is that Americans have the leisure (pronounced "leh-zhyoor") to worry or wonder about a far older and more stable country with traditions and customs stretching back into the late stone age, gun laws, some idea of civil deportment and discourse, and a diplomatic corps bent on befriending the world and discouraging war, rather than warring with the world and encouraging belligerence, and NOT simply turn every conversation into self-promotion and shallow, meaningless quibbles more suited to some filthy gossip magazine owned by the Murdoch organization...

R339 This no more kettles etc

Statistically Brits have healthier teeth than Americans. In impoverished regions of America, it’s common to see many people walking around with missing, rotted, or no teeth. That’s rare in the UK, as we have free dental care. Brits just don’t have bleached, perfectly straight teeth, since that’s perceived as being a bit tacky. British children/teens only have braces if their teeth are so crooked as to cause problems, or if their parents are overly keen on appearance.

Corn on pizza. That's fucking nasty.

R341 - Hopefully Donald Trump will be gone in around 6 months.

cock and balls=packet of three

R343 - Thanks for your explanation. Princess Beatrice of York had braces which surprised me as did not think the BRF went in for this type of thing.

R347, most kids in the Uk get braces if they need them, but I don’t know of any parent who would allow their children to bleach their teeth until they glow in the dark.

R347 and she still has horse teeth how did that go wrong?

R347 and she still has horse teeth how did that go wrong?

The have "Boxing Day" after Christmas. WTF?

Foreskins and unclean ones at that.

The "Chirac" thing is about where to place the emphasis. The French (and most of the world) say Chi-RAC, while the Brits say CHI-rac. They also say Angelina JO-lie and Nicolas SAR-kozy.

R12 Judge Judy says people who don't have bank accounts have something to hide.

Thank you, Boris Johnson at R341!

R341? Yeah, you lost me right here: "some idea of civil deportment and discourse."

Bull.

Shit.

There are few ruder people than the British in Europe. They even give the Swiss a run for their money. That waffling "politeness" is a transparent curtain for the deluge of contempt and bitterness with which they regard the world around them. It's gone by drink #5, which translates for most other people to 2 PM.

Oh, and BTW, stop trolling my comments and doing your contrarian thing. If you haven't noticed I never argue with any of you trolls by now, then you possibly are blind to anything of value that could be gleaned from whatever I write here.

So you don't like me. Get a life. I was going to say, btw, that the British certainly don't have a monopoly on alcohol, or civil discourse, some of us, with exceptions, are still capable of it in this country as well. All without the use of alcohol!

And, R356, you do that

Bull

Shit

Once too often, besides anonymously on this website, you may get a gigantic shit bomb dropped on you one of these days.

I noticed the abominable pronunciation of French words, seemingly done on purpose. Maybe that's why the French try (in vain) to avoid adopting English words into their language.

I understand the kettle with plug (to boil water). Tea is a huge part of the culture. It's like rice cookers. If it's a huge part of your food culture to have rice with a meal, then it makes sense to have a rice cooker.

Toaster ovens. They should be renamed. It's basically a small, counter-top oven. An alternative to a full-sized, cavernous, American-type oven. A dedicated toaster is actually better for making toast, IMO.

They pronounce asshole as arsehole.

^I love that, it's so genteel!

the mento illness luv

They pronounce arsehole as arsehole, R361.

r359: when I took college french, which was still pretty basic up to the third year, my 4th semester teacher snickered (sniggered, brits say) about our pronunciation, and said the french have a phrase for the way endlish speakers mangle french which was something like mouth or tongue of the dog, but untranslateable, accoording to her, I mean, the words "langue"or "moue" and "chien" or whatever they are aren't used in the phrase but some kind of colloquialism. Who knows. I promptly forgot it along with everything else.

Yes, R362, genteel! "Oh, I say, old chum, could you fuck me up my arsehole?"

They send their sons to "public schools" where homosexuality is rampent and they all become secret "shirtlifters."

"Sleeping rough" does not refer to S&M!

Pronouncing "th" as either "f" or "v".

Get your fucking tongues fixed.

Marmite.

OP Why not save hard-earned cash and hang your clothes on a clothesline to dry? It's a European thing especially if you have a garden.

Pedestrians don’t have the right of way over there. If you’re not crossing at one of those zebra crossings, they’ll run you right over and won’t look back.

Why do the Australians hate the British so much?

R369

Doorknobs IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DOOR.

They serve potatoes with everything. Even pizza.

Stone as a unit for measuring weight.

They allow the trashiest accents to read the news and advertise things.

Just straight up chavs now.

[quote]ConcernedEuropean [R233] are you German? No shade, just wondering. It’s usually Germans who prefer referring to themselves as a “European” online, in an attempt to mask their nationality.

I think you’ve sussed him out, r253. We’ve had plenty of British, French, Spanish, Italian, Dutch, Swiss and even once a Polish poster here, and they’ve always been proud of their nationality and happy to share it. It’s always the Germans that hide behind the European veil and get vague or deliberately obfuscate whenever asked about specific countries. I find it so odd given this is an anonymous board. Of course there are exceptions like the GayGermanGuy who comes off as quite desperate.

Try ordering a simple gin and tonic at an upscale pub.

They give you the faggiest big balloon glass on a stem and put fucking fruit pieces in it. Finally I just made them take it back and put the booze and ice in a pint glass or something.

This happened multiple times.

In the middle of a very mild winter, every pub and restaurant was so fucking hot - the heat was just blasting.

I found one pub attached to a boutique hotel that had a bearable temperature- turns out the heat was broken.

The use of heavy coins instead of bills.

Too many fraus in the police “force.”

Owen Jones.

He's pretty weird.

Although I did seem some hot jock cops in London in better looking tactical type gear. I asked them for directions and then thanked them for their service.

Their faces softened and I honestly thought they might tear up. I don’t think enough respect is paid to their military and police by much of the population.

A "fancy man" is for women and can in fact be 100% heterosexual!

WTF English people?!

"Rough sleeping" = "Street homelessness."

I was watching the Prime Minister's Questions once on C-SPAN and Theresa May kept talking about it and it took me a few minutes to understand (from context) WTF she was talking about.

The 24 hour clock. I had to order a normal one from Amazon to be delivered to my hotel.

The obsession with Pret a Manger.

The food looked like something from a gas station or 7-11.

I walked right out.

R387 Politicians using language to make a problem seem less than it is is hardly unique to Britain.

The ubiquitous white upvc windows are an absolute blight. How could you guys do that to your otherwise quaint and charming homes?

[quote] OP Why not save hard-earned cash and hang your clothes on a clothesline to dry? It's a European thing especially if you have a garden.

Many HOAs don’t allow clotheslines. In the US, they’re associated with poverty and regarded as trashy.

No screens on the damn windows.

[quote]In the US, they’re associated with poverty and regarded as trashy.

Clothes lines are also much more environmentally friendly than dryers, of course.

Most Americans would rather choke to death on greenhouse gases than hang their clothes out to dry like a 19th century Russian peasant.

Where did “slag” come from, the mining term or is it some bastardization of “slut,” the way they did with arse?

Bullshit, the one thing toaster ovens do not do well is make toast

"A woman called Mary" would not sound odd to my American ears .

But to play: The seemingly willful mispronunciation of foreign words, especially foods.

Pass-ta

Tack-o

et al.

R397 The irony!

They call cookies "biscuits". Then they have a further designation called "digestive biscuits." And some of their biscuits are wheat and oat based animal food. Why would you want that for a treat?

The grocery stores weren’t cheery at all.

R400 Digestives are just a type of biscuit, not a "designation". And the image you linked to is a rich tea biscuit - hence it saying "rich tea" on it. As for your belief that any food based on oats and wheat is animal food...

(Gay) London-based serial killer David Nilsen. Read about him on wikipedia. So many victims. Finally arrested in 1983, died in prison two years ago. Just think, people are currently living in the two apartments in which he committed most of the murders (and deposals of the bodies).

R395 what’s wrong with drying your laundry outside? It smells much nicer then when it comes out of the dryer and it’s not typically British we do it here in the Netherlands too.

Many things mentioned in this thread are not typically British and more wide spread. Guess what digestive biscuits are very common here too.

R395 what’s wrong with drying your laundry outside? It smells much nicer then when it comes out of the dryer and it’s not typically British we do it here in the Netherlands too.

Many things mentioned in this thread are not typically British and more wide spread. Guess what digestive biscuits are very common here too.

Only poor people dry their clothes outside in the U.S. It makes me think of tenements.

A lot of things mentioned here makes the respective poster come off as extremely provincial and stunted. Basically how we perceive most Americans. Again, you did not disappoint.

Special prize goes to the Mary who didn’t want to bother to learn something new: 24h time. God forbid your little bird brain would actually have to compute something.

R389, nobody is "obsessed' with Pret a Manger but the quality of their wares plummeted when McDonalds took them over and turned every sandwich into a mayonnaise mess. It was edible before but I haven't been back since.

Thanks for that info, R408. I had no idea about the McDonald's takeover (there you go, showing my ignorance again). I walked into a 'Pret' briefly in a train station a while ago but none of the products really looked fresh or appealing, so I walked right out again.

R407: speaking of provincialism, you should check out the "Which countries have the worst food?" thread

[quote] what’s wrong with drying your laundry outside?

Nothing. I think there are a lot of posters from NY and LA who don't have a house with a real back yard.

Doorknobs in the middle of the door are purely decorative.

No one serves pizza with potatoes.

“No screens on the damn windows.”

We don’t need screens because there are so few insects. I leave all my windows open all through the summer and very rarely does any kind of bug or mosquito come in. Maybe it’s different in a more rural area.

The only people I’ve ever met who are obsessed with Pret have been American tourists. To Brits it’s just a chain where you can buy a takeaway (takeout) lunch for your lunch break from the office that’s healthier than McDonalds but nicer than a Tesco meal deal.

“Pedestrians don’t have the right of way over there. If you’re not crossing at one of those zebra crossings, they’ll run you right over and won’t look back.”

Pedestrians have more of a right of way in Britain than they do in the US. Jaywalking is illegal in the US and legal in the UK. Cars have to stop for any pedestrian who is on the road. Running someone over is a serious crime.

Judges wear wigs! As to barristers! There's a difference between solicitors and barristers! Solicitors are NOT hustlers who try to pick you up on the street! All meant to confuse the well intentioned.

OP = Meghan Markle

It's a one off.

A one off what?

I do say old chap, could you fuck me up my bum? I could do with a bit of shirtlifting.

R416: "one-off" is a hyphenated noun.

R418 is a fat cow.

It costs nothing to use an ambulance in the UK.

Nothing at all. No cost, no bill, no invoice, no money ever changes hands.

The Ambulance service is a state sponsored organisation like the police or fire service and it will cost you NOTHING to use it

[quote]It costs nothing to use an ambulance in the UK. Nothing at all. No cost, no bill, no invoice, no money ever changes hands. The Ambulance service is a state sponsored organisation like the police or fire service and it will cost you NOTHING to use it

Most Americans are aware that the UK has socialized medicine. Yet the slimy GOP are up the asses of their health insurance corporate overlords to ever suggest Americans ever have 'free' health insurance!

Don't say "socialized medicine" -- that's something Sarah Palin would say. Use "single-payer healthcare" instead.

R419 likes to hang on to her elementary school (or is it primary school?) insults. They worked for her 50 years ago. Of course, if she were addressing an actual American she would probably on the money.

R394, clothes get stolen off of clotheslines a lot in the U.S. The amount of theft in this country is one of those things people never talk about, I think because they're used to it. If you watch old movies and cartoons from the 1930s through early 1950s you'll see a lot of references to clothes being stolen off the line like it was no big deal. Same with food cooling in windows, things sitting on porches, etc.

I bought an indoor clothesline a few years ago and noticed there were tons of them for sale with thousands of reviews each. I think more people in the U.S. line dry their clothes than you suspect, but they just don't do it outside.

There are Prets all over Manhattan. They are almost as ubiquitous as Starbucks.

Are they not in other areas of the US?

[quote]I have electric tea kettles in all of my homes.

Here in the U.S. they're often called "hot pots" and I didn't know they were so rare. I've had one for 20 years. It's great for tea of course but also to pour over ramen soups, for hot chocolate, etc. I know no one here will admit to making a side dish that comes in a box, but the hot pot is perfect for those that just take boiling water to make.

[quote]what’s wrong with drying your laundry outside?

Stiff clothes, bird poop, underpants thieves.

The weirdest British shit I can think of is Mr. Blobby. A few years ago he did something like appear on a show and run around for 10 seconds, and the whole country lost their collective minds.

[quote] Here in the U.S. they're often called "hot pots" and I didn't know they were so rare.

We call them kettles. Hot pot is something you eat in a Chinese hot pot restaurant.

[quote]Don't say "socialized medicine" -- that's something Sarah Palin would say. Use "single-payer healthcare" instead.

Not sure WTF you are talking about, because it's actually NOT single payer. UK citizens do not pay a DIME for their healthcare. Neither do Canadians and most of the free world. Even Cuba has socialized medicine!

Most intelligent Americans would be willing tp pay higher taxes to get free healthcare. No more paperwork, premiums, co-pays, deductibles and all the other bureaucratic bullshit Americans have to go through. I call the US healthcare system, the never ending labyrinth of bullshit.

The US should be ashamed that healthcare is BILLION dollar for-profit industry. These horrible insurance companies continue making billions off people health issues, while denying so many important diagnostic tests. Don't get me started on big pharma. One of my relatives is on a blood thinner which costs $180 a month and that price is their co-pay!

Fuck Sarah Palin, who the hell cares what that braindead moron thinks! She's a nonentity.

[quote] Here in the U.S. they're often called "hot pots"

4th generation American and I have never heard that.

Just call it an "electric tea pot" or "electric tea kettle"

r425 Why does it have to be electric, though? I do all that with my regular kettle, which I heat up on my stovetop.

[quote] We don’t need screens because there are so few insects. I leave all my windows open all through the summer and very rarely does any kind of bug or mosquito come in. Maybe it’s different in a more rural area.

What about the midges in Scotland?

If you're in an area infested with midges, you're unlikely to want to keep your windows open anyway.

was a funny thread until the old fashioned trolls took over with faux obsession about electric tea kettles and toaster overs. People intent on killing threads. And also those who interject politics (socialized medicine) into a comic thread. Obsessive about politics.

Worse than God botherers.

Do God botherers have electric tea kettles or toaster ovens?

Underpants thieves? Do you live in South Park?

Google is your friend, mate.

Zig zag road marking.

R391 ah, there’s money in it, though, mate.

R396, technically speaking, ‘slag’ is the scum of waste and gravel that runs off from ore when smelting metal. It’s used to make tarmac.

Perhaps then, the implication of calling someone a slag is to imply that they are impure and useless, only fit to be stepped on or driven over.

Unrefrigerated eggs.

I'm aware of what hot pot is, R428, but that doesn't mean that standalone electric kettles are not also called "hot pots' in the U.S. They are.

Two seconds on Google and I found brands like Proctor Silex, Brentwood, and Hamilton Beach with versions of electric kettles called "hot pots." I mean, it's right there. You could look it up yourself.

[quote]was a funny thread until the old fashioned trolls took over with faux obsession about electric tea kettles and toaster overs. People intent on killing threads. And also those who interject politics (socialized medicine) into a comic thread. Obsessive about politics. Worse than God botherers.

There's nothing worse than control freak posters, such as yourself, trying to control a thread's trajectory. Most threads, at any forum, tend to veer off course. That's what makes a thread interesting as opposed to tedious.

Killing threads? What a drama queen. Sorry to get your knickers in a twist.

This is a "comic thread"? Who knew. 🙄🙄

Don't be a douchebag.

[quote]Not sure WTF you are talking about, because it's actually NOT single payer. UK citizens do not pay a DIME for their healthcare. Neither do Canadians and most of the free world. Even Cuba has socialized medicine!

I wonder what NICs are, R429, or the ECs that companies pay on top? Hint, single payer means all insurance payments go to one insurer rather than the "free market". The NHS benefits from economies of scale and fewer middlemen taking a cut.. We all pay, Canadians, Cubans, Britons, Taiwanese. We just pay a lot less for the same level of service. That is all.

R444 Please don't let this amusing and interesting thread turn into a debate on the pros and cons of the NHS.

Nee naw nee naw, R385 shags coppers!

Now now R445 expressing such a desire makes you a control freak and douche.

Accordingly to thread killing trolls and real douches!

R444 and R445 he is just stating that the NHS isn’t free for the poster who said it is. You pay for it through your taxes basically and I’m very happy to do it. Hope that’s ok with you?

Thread closed.

[quote] I'm aware of what hot pot is, [R428], but that doesn't mean that standalone electric kettles are not also called "hot pots' in the U.S. They are.

Kettles are for boiling water. Hot pots are for cooking things but can also be used for boiling water. Electric kettles have an element that is in direct contact with the water. Hot pots have an element that is in contact with the bottom of the hot pot but not in contact with what's inside it.

I love the idea that the US is full of people stealing clothing hung up to dry.

I think that is a Brit fantasy of the "wild" US.

Clotheslines used to be totally normal in the United States. We had a dryer, but neither of my grandmothers did (1970s and 80s), and clothes hanging out to dry was a common sight. Snobby types outlawed it in some areas as unsightly, and since dryers are cheaper to buy and operate in the US and take FAR LESS TIME to dry clothes than in Europe, clotheslines have just kind of fallen out of use.

[quote] Snobby types outlawed it in some areas as unsightly.

That’s so odd to me. One of my favourite calming mental images is of clean washing (especially sheets) blowing gently and lazily on a line in a warm fresh breeze. Even imagining the smell brings tranquility.

Clothes smell so good after drying out on a clothesline.

they devise new pronunciations that they use ONLY because they differ from American spoken English. ConTROVersy.

Cool kids in high school behavior.

R455 The correct British English pronunciation is CONtroversy, not ConTROVersy.

Pearlie Kings and Queens.

I never realized their money goes to charity so now I feel bad for acting like a New Yorker and walking right past them

I'll throw in Brits' apparent weird fixation on the loveliness of drying clothes outside. It ain't all that. I surprised your clothes ever dry given how it's constantly misting or drizzling outside there.

The only dry shirts on a folding stand that can't be put through a dryer- it's great for anything white especially because the sun bleaches them naturally.

What’s up with those two story buses? Ain’t nobody got time for stairs.

Clothesline dried clothes are a great to exfoliate. Towels come off the line so rough, that you can just rub them against your skin and three layers of skin are gone in seconds. Who needs chemical peels with line dried clothing?

Everyone does know you're supposed to use fabric softener when you line dry clothes, yes?

Fabric softener is trashy.

I'll add to the pronunciation issue "schedule" as "shedule" rather than "skedule." The word comes from Greek via Latin, and the H is obviously in there to signal the etymology and the fact that there's a hard K sound after the S (cf. "schizophrenia"). But apparently someone in Britain decided it was probably a German word, with the SCH as in "Schultz" or "Schicklgruber," and the whole country ran with it.

R425 is a foreigner.

No one in America calls a fucking tea kettle a “hot pot.”

Do you even speak English?

They let their cats outside.

Back in the 70s and maybe early 80s, I heard them called hot pots. But I think that was a brand name.

I have not heard them referred to by that name in at least 25 years. And now that the term is applied to a specific cuisine, I doubt it will be used again to apply to electric kettles.

[quote]Not sure WTF you are talking about, because it's actually NOT single payer. UK citizens do not pay a DIME for their healthcare. Neither do Canadians and most of the free world. Even Cuba has socialized medicine!

The UK has socialized medicine. Canada does not, it has single payer, which is called Medicare. The medical people and hospitals are not state sponsored, they simply do not run on private insurance, they have a single-payer system, basically Medicare For All - where they eliminate the middle man - for-profit insurance companies. The government (by province) runs the insurance (single-payer) and it is not for profit, and people pay nothing at point of service. I don't know what Cuba has.

The UK’s NHS is a similar set up to our VA.

France’s healthcare system is similar to our Medicare.

The US already has “socialized” medicine, but only certain segments of the population are allowed to access it.

Medicare isn't socialized medicine, it's single-payer. Medicaid is sponsored by the fed and states, it's closer to socialized med. But since we don't have these things for the majority of Americans, to say we even have socialized medicine is disingenuous.

Many Brits don't rinse the dishes when they do the washing up. They just place the dishes in the dish rack with suds running over the surface. So gross.

My mother fell ill while visiting family in England. She was taken to the hospital and had tests run and given a script for medicine which cost her less than $20 to purchase. The bill? Nothing. She’s not a British citizen either.

Fix your own house before you throw stones.

There was once a whole thread on that, R470. Apparently the custom originated with tv ads by a detergent company boasting that you didn't need to rinse the soap off the dishes. The thread was replete with stories of visiting Americans, to their shock, being physically prevented from rinsing their hosts' dishes of running suds.

What’s the fascination with beans on toast? Are they baked beans from the can?

Yes, Vaginia, from a can, often Heinz.

I hope the Anglophile royalists on DL don't get wind of this thread, they seem to think being British is a passport to heaven.

Did anyone mention the lack of written constitution?

Very mistakenly, r475. I wasted the most productive years of my life living in those dump isles.

And they drive on the left. Except when they don't, like on the road outside The Savoy.

R476 I wouldn't say that's weird. We have a written constitution and the Bill of Rights specifically because the British didn't.

If I was a Brit I'd be campaigning for a Bill of Rights, though, especially these days. Get rid of the aristocracy too. The fuck is that?

R464 Everyone is a foreigner, you twit. Even Americans.

The Brits already have their Bill of Rights.

What is the primary reason the British never rose up and slaughtered their royalty like the French and Russians?

R482 It'd be terribly impolite.

There was the Magna Carta and the British people, though not able to rise above their class, most of the time, had rights and weren't treated as slaves or serfs. I guess. Then they instituted a Parliamentary government.

Charles I was executed on the block by parliament after an uprising lasting years called the Englush Civil War.

[quote] What is the primary reason the British never rose up and slaughtered their royalty like the French and Russians?

Good questions. I'm guessing the economy of the UK was doing OK, compared to the French & Russians.

R482 British peasants tried but failed.

The uprising was so severe that not only was the king beheaded on the public scaffold but a Republic was set up nationwide.

Has anyone written speculative fiction as if there had been a revolutionary end to the British monarchy?

There was a revolutionary end to the British monarchy in 1649. No speculative fiction required.

Scotland and England are kingdoms. Wales isn't.

Ireland was also a kingdom but was never part of Britain, only the UK.

[quote]What is the primary reason the British never rose up and slaughtered their royalty like the French and Russians?

They tried to organize an army, but the citizens kept demanding tea breaks.

Oy, guv'ner, where's our elevenses?

R493 = Dick van Dyke

There is something called a Royal Peculiar which is not Prince Andrew!

It's a church building R495. Not to be confused with Old Peculiar cider.

I am sure it’s been mentioned but how do British orthodontists make a living?

It seems like they're just dscovering the "novel concept" of having a dedicated closet space or walk-in closet in their bedrooms. Most everyrone puts their clothing in a "clothes cupboard" or wardrobe that they cart around from place to place. I've seen a few new construction plans where they're now designing actual closet spaces into floorplans, but even some newer construction opts to make them more like built-in furniture sticking out from the wall.

[quote]They say “called” instead of “named,” as in “A woman called Mary lives next door.”

singular the stupidest remark I've read on the DL, and that says a lot

R499 Singulary the most stupid remark...

R498 my block of flats was built in 1895 so we have wardrobes.

I haven't seen it mentioned, but the Brits seem to believe they're uniquely endowed with the best sense of humour in the world. Oh, that British humour. Only they can understand it. Every single, last Brit is a wit compared to anyone from another country.

Their sitcoms, however, do not support this belief. American sitcoms like 'Friends' and 'The Big Bang Theory' are the most watched TV programs in their history. And their own local productions like 'Mrs Brown's Boys' and 'My Family' are very badly written and of extremly low quality

I preferred Dad's Army misself

I have to admit UK Queer as Folk was better than US Queer as Folk.

The TV 'licence'

R456. It was one example. The Brits are constantly taking the position: "It is our language and WE decide how to pronounce shit." So their painfully contrived pronunciations do nothing but annoy.

Mrs Featherstonehaugh

[quote] American sitcoms like 'Friends' and 'The Big Bang Theory' are the most watched TV programs in their history. And their own local productions like 'Mrs Brown's Boys' and 'My Family' are very badly written and of extremly low quality.

I see. The critic cites the two worst long-running BBC sitcoms in living memory, while neglecting to mention the hundreds of other homegrown comedy programmes produced in the same period that are of far higher standard. How terribly convenient an argument.

Boris Johnson is sort of a poor man's Donald Trump. They can't even get that right.

Margo. No tee.

Leicester pronounced Lester

Edinburgh

R482 After Oliver Cromwell died his son was supposed to take power but lacked leadership skills. Meanwhile, the canny Charles II opened all the theatres and taverns which Cromwell had shut down, being a puritan and all that, and the populace promptly welcomed him back with open arms. So yes, we were a republic for 11 years but Cromwell made the mistake of forcing his dour austere brand of Protestantism on the people, making the return of monarchy a more attractive alternative.

All UK swans belong to the Queen.

(R490). There was nothing revolutionary about the Glorious Revolution. See Edmund Burke's Reflections on the Revolution in France.

Oh let's not get started on Scotland.

They don't know how to make a Big Mac.

I watched The Favourite recently, does that count, R515?

R515, R490 was not referring to the Glorious Revolution.

The Ice Cream War in Glasgow

I mean Queen Anne seemed to have a lot of power in The Favourite.

More re that not rinsing dishes thing.

New Zealand too.

Instead of, "No, don't get up" it's "Stay where you are", which sounds rude-ish.

[quote]I see. The critic cites the two worst long-running BBC sitcoms in living memory, while neglecting to mention the hundreds of other homegrown comedy programmes produced in the same period that are of far higher standard. How terribly convenient an argument.

But are they as popular as those two?

I saw English people in England get chicken from Kentucky Fried Chicken and THEY SALTED IT. Kentucky Fried chicken wasn't salty enough for them already. This was not just one family, this was everyone in the place (I myself had fled there from a cold collation of sausage rolls and worse).

R524 'Stay where you are' is meant sarcastically.

[quote] I saw English people in England get chicken from Kentucky Fried Chicken and THEY SALTED IT. Kentucky Fried chicken wasn't salty enough for them already. This was not just one family, this was everyone in the place (I myself had fled there from a cold collation of sausage rolls and worse).

R526 types KFC trashy.

and fat.

Fawlty Towers, Only Fools and Horses, Ab Fab, and many more are iconic and some of them have been hugely popular for decades. Much more so than My Family (which no one ever talks about) or Mrs Brown’s Boys (which is popular but widely derided and known in the UK as TV for idiots).

I’m sure America has idiotic low rate sitcoms which have found an audience base.

R530: Yeah. Friends. Living Single did it first and better.

As far as great British shows, you also have Are You Being Served?, Waiting for God, As Time Goes By, French and Saunders, Monty Python. We've had great shows over here, but neither of the 2 that were mentioned qualify.

[quote] Waiting for God, As Time Goes By

Both weird Brit shit.

[quote]Their sitcoms, however, do not support this belief.

You can't entirely dismiss the British tv show when you consider how many American shows were based on British shows. Just for starters:

All In The Family

Sanford & Son

Three's Company

The Office

Queer As Folk

There were two or three attempts to steal Ab Fab's popularity.

Plus the Brits have produced some excellent shows that rial the popularity of American shows:

Keeping Up Appearances

Are You Being Served?

Ab Fab

Fawlty Towers

[quote]I have to admit UK Queer as Folk was better than US Queer as Folk.

I agree with this. The UK version is a good show. The US version is too slick.

[quote]You can't entirely dismiss the British tv show when you consider how many American shows were based on British shows. Just for starters: All In The Family, Sanford & Son, Three's Company, The Office, Queer As Folk

Shameless (the US version revived William H. Macy's career and boosted Emmy Rossum's career).

Do they still say "Be upstanding" in court when the judge comes in. Sounds weird.

I think some British tv shows are super weird. I love Four in a Bed and Come Dine With Me.

This one show called the Sex Clinic is crazy weird. They have an STD clinic set up and they actually show the people being tested, like everything with the guys at least. I mean everything. Then, at the end everyone gets their test results and chastised. I saw this one where they told the guy to just wash his penis daily, because apparently he hadn't been washing it at all.

Show titles like: "Anal Sex and the Problematic Penis" or "Tips for Bisexuals and Anal Douching".

Very entertaining stuff.

(If you want to watch Channel 4 videos you can go through a VPN like Tunnel Bear. )

So many U.K. Gold comedy moments perfectly encapsulate the posting experience at the Datalounge.

^^And this..

Talkie walkies and toy boys.

Back to breaking up the monarchy: that was certainly Karl Marx's wish when he was living in the UK.

Don't forget the British "Office" and the American "Office."

[quote] Do they still say "Be upstanding" in court when the judge comes in. Sounds weird.

"All rise," is the term in England. For Scotland, Ireland (north and south) and Wales, apply to your local care giver.

More curry than India.

[quote]Every single, last Brit is a wit compared to anyone from another country.

No-one thinks this. I thought it was pretty well known how one part of the population looks down on the rest.

Speaking of British comedy, Stewart Lee has got to count as weird British shit

R545's stinkly linky not available here in US. Sorry. Thread closed.

How did the Canadian Geese get there, did someone release them like the minks?

As for the British wit, I’ll say as an American that even the simplest, most common Brit seems witty compared to their American counterparts.

One linguistic characteristic I haven’t seen mentioned is the British tendency to shorten monosyllabic words to just their first syllable and then add -ie as a suffix. Where ‘independent’ becomes ‘indie’, ‘television’ becomes ‘telly’, etc. Seems part of a general tendency to make up sort of twee, cutesy slang terms for everything, when the actual name of the thing would suffice (one would think).

But that’s just an odd habit, not actually offensive like “I was stood” or “Madonner” (seriously what’s up with adding the ‘-r sound at the end of words that don’t end in ‘r’?).

Not offensive but rather sad is the idea some British DLers have that because the United States is full of stupid fat people who love guns and elected Donald Trump (only 19% of the total population actually cast votes for him, just to remind you) that we can’t point out weird shit about British culture. It’s not as if some American started a thread called “What’s up with Brexit? Are all Brits retarded?” We’re Dataloungers, we have multiple threads about how much we hate Trump and the “flyover country” parts of the US. Our societal/political problems don’t preclude us from poking fun at or asking questions about quirky British cultural traits/signifiers and linguistic absurdities.

^^^ I meant polysyllabic, not monosyllabic

R547 they’re migrating birds, you preposterous bitch.

Drunk again R549 or is it drugs tonight?

I learned from this thread that the British are incredibly thin skinned and slow to catch on to the trolling. To the trolls - especially the toaster oven enthusiasts - thanks for the laughs.

R550 North /South, not across the ocean.

I don’t drink, R551, so I don’t know what “again” means here. (I take it you’re bitter about something but don’t feel comfortable saying what.)

The toaster oven replies were some of my favorites, R552!

God save us from the Toaster b/s anymore.

The weird Brit shit comes down to this: they drain their pasta.

R547 They're Canada Geese , not "Canadian Geese".

I believe R556 is correct.

Canada geese do not migrate across the Atlantic Ocean and they're not called "Canadian" geese, so both R547 and R550 are wrong.

They were introduced from North America to Britain in the colonial period.

What colonial period?

Prawn cocktail flavoured crisps.

R560 suggests that she knows what a 'prawn cocktail' is.

So much of what you American posters upthread have posted confirms two things:

The stuff that people are pointing out is not specific to British people, but as Americans, you are so limited that you don’t understand that,

and

Americans are limited.

Barbara Thorndyke and her Moroccan brooch have joined the thread.

Weird British shit : weirdly Brits don't understand why the white US are such racists.

Bosomy women who call everyone "Luv".

Such as, R562?

One other thing: for those who are so enamored with clotheslines, what do you do when it rains? Do you only do laundry on sunny days? Or do you just hang everything inside? Call me an ugly American, but I’m glad I can just do my laundry whenever I feel like it and not have to take the weather into consideration. Maybe I’m missing something though.

What’s Doc Martin all about, my parents watch it and I just don’t get it?

[quote]What’s Doc Martin all about, my parents watch it and I just don’t get it?

Along the same theme as Green Acres. An intelligent London doctor moves to the country and must learn to live among those not his equal. Hijinks ensue.

[quote]what do you do when it rains?

You hang it on an indoor airing rack.

The oddest part about this thread is how some of you seem so troubled by the most obviously and easily solved things. And what seems to be an inability to use Google.

The practice of Googling something is so divorced from the human warmth we get to experience among each other in this thread, R569.

R570 Human warmth in a thread about Britain?

How about the test card?

R586 But he’s a doctor that can’t handle blood. Is there some deep dark back story and it’s really a drama?

The use of 'I/He/She/It were'. It's so jarring and irritating to hear.

Their strange tradition of adding O's to spell certain words in a more Latinate way. Ex.: diarrhoea, which I insist on pronouncing to myself (when I read it) as "dia-r'HO-a." It amuses me.

Hi R253 R254 R379.

No, i'm not German, nor Melania, nor Slovenian. I legally have British and Irish nationalities, but consider myself to be more Irish and Scottish. I have lived in various countries in Europe including Germany. I definitely feel 'European' in a general, continental sense and these days it's important to assert that. So that's the story of my screen-name, hope you enjoyed it.

Well, I for one appreciate the British honoring Naya Rivera by renaming the West End to Foreign Broadway.

R576, you sound HUNG.

R562 Yes, they're rather simple really. Anything they find to be "different" is automatically weird for them. Very few of them travel outside their country, but when they do, they somehow expect everything to be just like home. Deep down, they're quite Nationalistic and judgemental.

R578, many hundreds of guys can't be wrong :)

I knew it! Atta boy, ConcernedEuropean.

[quote][R444] and [R445] he is just stating that the NHS isn’t free for the poster who said it is. You pay for it through your taxes basically and I’m very happy to do it. Hope that’s ok with you?

The main point, paying for your healthcare through higher taxes is still much less costly than the US system is based on profits and greed versus actually caring about a person's health. I'm sure the Brits do not pay $1000+ a month in extra taxes to cover their healthcare. One of my self-employed friends pays $1200 a month for his health insurance. That's just absurd.

US health care companies are about profits over allowing a person to get important diagnostic tests. I'd rather pay higher taxes if it meant the healthcare industry didn't makes billions in profits while screwing over people who pay high monthly premiums. Not sure if the Brits understand that the high monthly premiums Americans pay usually don't cover all medical expenses. Depending on what type of health insurance they have, Americans also have co-pays (usually for doctor office visits), deductibles and also have co-pays for their medications. High monthly premiums do not cover everything.

[quote]Not sure if the Brits understand that the high monthly premiums Americans pay usually don't cover all medical expenses.

Oh, I'm sure we'll find that out soon enough once Boris gives Trump the trade deal he wants.

The British use arse to refer to the sphincter or anus.

The Americans use ass in all manner of sentences unrelated to the human body. For instance, some here refer to a 'big ass TV' or a 'big ass car'.

[quote]Electric kettles have an element that is in direct contact with the water.

YIKES. I appreciate your explanation of the differences R450, though everything I saw listed as an electric kettle on Walmart and Amazon didn't look like it had an element that went into the water to heat it but rather the heated bottom.

I'm assuming this dates back a few decades where you could get a separate element to stick into the water of a regular kettle and heat it up that way, which makes sense, but sounds a touch more dangerous than I'd like.

[quote]The oddest part about this thread is how some of you seem so troubled by the most obviously and easily solved things. And what seems to be an inability to use Google.

Oh honey, welcome to Datalounge.

adding "u" to words. E.g. "Labour Party".

I'll give them one thing, the party actually describe the parties. "Labour", "Conservative".

party name ^

[quote]Along the same theme as Green Acres. An intelligent London doctor moves to the country and must learn to live among those not his equal. Hijinks ensue.

I watched it until the hairball episode and then I decided my time was too valuable to keep watching.

[quote]Their strange tradition of adding O's to spell certain words in a more Latinate way. Ex.: diarrhoea, which I insist on pronouncing to myself (when I read it) as "dia-r'HO-a." It amuses me.

My favorite is "jewellery." Four syllables instead of two.

[quote]Boris Johnson is sort of a poor man's Donald Trump. They can't even get that right.

You're kidding, right? Boris might be a Conservative asshole, but he went to Eton and Oxford. Drumpf can barely articulate a sentence. He likely got others to take his tests. You obviously know little about Johnson.

I think you meant to write: "Donald Trump is sort of a poor man's Boris Johnson."

The Johnsons are practically royalty compared to the low life grifting Drumpf family. Donald was raised in Queens.

"Johnson was born on 19 June 1964 in the Upper East Side of Manhattan, New York City, to 23-year-old Stanley Johnson, an Englishman, then studying economics at Columbia University, and his 22-year-old wife of one year Charlotte Fawcett, an Oxford-born artist from a family of liberal intellectuals, and a daughter of Sir James Fawcett, a barrister.

Boris's parents had married in 1963 before moving to the US, where they lived opposite the Chelsea Hotel. In September 1964, they returned to England, so that Charlotte could study at the University of Oxford; during this time, she lived with her son in Summertown, a suburb of Oxford, and in 1965 she gave birth to a daughter, Rachel."

"Johnson gained a King's Scholarship to study at Eton College, the elite independent boarding school near Windsor in Berkshire. Johnson won a scholarship to read Literae Humaniores at Balliol College, Oxford, a four-year course in the study of the Classics, ancient literature and classical philosophy. Matriculating at the university in late 1983, he was one of a generation of Oxford undergraduates who were later to dominate British politics and media in the second decade of the 21st century; among them David Cameron, William Hague, Michael Gove, Jeremy Hunt and Nick Boles all went on to become senior Conservative Party politicians."

I meant Boris was not as good as being a demagogue and neo-fascist as Trump.

Add to things Brits do not know: meaning of the phrase "a poor man's X".

They get nothing right.

A poor man’s X = Benefit Street

Do try to keep up, R591.

Queer Street does not mean the gay neighborhood!

Obviously the colonial period of the British in North America, R559, before the American Revolution and the Canadian Act of Union. Specifically, it would seem, some time in the 18th century. Were you imagining I meant that geese came from North America to Britain because of e.g. French colonialism in Indochina?

I think the hanging laundry thing is also about work. In the US, most of us are working during daylight hours, so we are doing laundry at night.

You cannot hang laundry at 10:00 pm

It sounds like in Britain, the schedule is a bit more free.

[quote] adding "u" to words. E.g. "Labour Party".

You mean they don't drop the "u" like Americans do.

Speaking of AS TIME GOES BY, the overrated Dame Judi Dench. They seem to love her.

[quote] The Americans use ass in all manner of sentences unrelated to the human body. For instance, some here refer to a 'big ass TV' or a 'big ass car'.

Don’t forget my “wet ass pussy.”