Peen Stuck in Fartbox as Mortician Buggers Corpse

OMG that face.

Fuck off R1! This charmer is all MINES!

[quote] “He was laying on top of the corpse with his pants around his knees. He didn’t really seem to feel any pain, but he was obviously humiliated.”

What a festive tableau for the open-casket service!

That bottoms hole is like the chicken with its head cut off.

I am struggling to sort out what is the MOST gross thing about this story.

Fake news.

How do you get your dick stuck in the ass of a corpse?

Actually, never mind. I really don't want to know.

How is this NOT in Florida?

It's not real, R7. Take a look at the other articles on that site.

WHY would it be stuck ? I mean,physically what could have caused the poor dead guys anus to tighten so much the old freak couldnt just pull it out ? Just when you think youve heard it all .

Like this one?

[quote]It's not real, [R7]. Take a look at the other articles on that site.

But they quote a real cop from the real local police department.

R10 Rigor Mortis, Lock Jaw

What threnody was playing on the corpse's iPod?

[quote]OMG that face.

His conquests didn't seem to mind.

Is OP’s photo the mortician or the corpse?

Are we seriously going to overlook the term "Fartbox"?

His coworkers had to spray him with a garden hose.

Another DLer lost.

When surprise anal backfires and surprises the top.

Check out the story of half chimpanzee / half teen human on the site, and of course he's black. Major eye roll on this one.

Erna strikes again.

Seriously in today's world, even Hollywood couldn't write this shit.

Two morticians alternated in sharing the responsibility of covering the night shift. Early one morning about 3:00 am, a body was brought into the mortuary, and the mortician began work. When he had unclothed the corpse, he noticed that a cork was stuck in its butt.

Removing it, the strains of "Hello, Dolly, well, hello, Dolly...!" were plainly heard being sung. He immediately put the cork back, and the singing stopped. Pulling it out again, the same song started, "You're lookin' swell, Dolly!".

Amazed, he telephoned his partner, and insisted he come immediately to see something very unusual. Roused from sleep, the partner asked if it could wait till morning. But he was persistent, and finally the partner agreed to dress and come down to the shop.

When he got there, he said, "Now what was it that was so important you had to get me out of bed at this ungodly hour?" The partner said, "Come into the embalming room."

They go into the embalming room, and the first partner says, "Now watch." He pulls out the cork, and the corpse’s butt takes off singing again. The partner looks at him disgustedly and says: "You mean to tell me that you brought me down here at 3 in the morning just to listen to some asshole sing “Hello Dolly"?!?

[quote]Are we seriously going to overlook the term "Fartbox"?

Daddy's got a Fartbox - Twinkboy never sleeps at all!

These threads always depress me at the people who fall for them. Read the tagline of the site, FFS.

Gives a new meaning to the phrase "casket dance."

He's 67. He probably dislocated a leg or something and couldn't get off of the dead guy.

Argh, this never happened. Morons.

This news could be real if you deigned a fuck with an 80-yo, 400-lb, senile DLer. Almost like necrophilia and zoophilia rolled into one horror fuck.

The most horrifying aspect of a story like this is imagining the many, many corpses he fucked before this one, because you know it wasn't his first time.

iPod: Stuck On You, The Commodores.

The title of this thread should win some kind of an award.

Crude yet succinct.

Please tell me this story isn’t real. Otherwise I have no words.

Satirical fake news website. Google is your friend.

OMG! What a great movie this would make! Who would play the mortician? Who would play the corpse?

My favorite is the one about the 400 lb woman who left her children in the car for 8 hours while she ate at Golden Coral.

[quote]OMG! What a great movie this would make! Who would play the mortician? Who would play the corpse?

I can see Ross Mathews as the wacky mortician. Wilford Brimley could play the corpse, because he's already dead, but probably not at the stinky-smelling stage yet..

Now all we need is a title…

Moonstuck, r38.