Tasteful Friends: What Do We Think of this Suburban Baltimore Manse?

Looks like a lot of house for the money, but it isn't exactly... Oh, hell, it's your classic McMansion. It is what it is

It looks okay though it looks like it belongs in southern California. Don't like the fat columns in the foyer and the really pale colour of the kitchen cabinets.

51 photos is ridiculous.

Horrid

"Suburban Baltimore" says it all

The seller is Velma Von Tussle. I think she wants to leave now that the neighborhood is integrated.

It's so weird, and wtf is with that basement. It looks like a conference room at a Ramada. Everything in it is cheap looking and undersized for the space. Like they put the furniture and fixtures from a three bedroomed ranch into a giant McMansion.

I'm actually wishing I had a big house right now given the situation, but you can keep that one. No appeal whatsoever even at that price.

Haha. I live like 5 minutes from that address. Hideous. 1.5mil could buy you SO MUCH better up here.

It makes me want to move in, right before I commit suicide. Seems like a great place to blow one's head off.

Just when you think they can't get any worse. Aside from the floor plan being ridiculous, the way its decorated doesn't help, at all...$1.99 plant stand being the focal piece of a stupidly huge entry; curtains that only cover half of a window; doors off the hinges because they make no apparent sense; niche's all over, filled with pedestrian tchotchkes that must have come from The Dollar Store; a glossy spinet piano, because, well, you just have to have a piano in a pile like this, right?; Horrible color scheme, coupled with tasteless fixtures; and, what I'm sure is the real source of pride, a basement disco complete with suspended ceiling purchased from a CVS pharmacy that was going out-of-business, and furnishings that any motel would be proud to claim.

This is an abomination to mankind, and should be razed.

8,000 sqft and they couldn't even spring for a baby grand piano?

It would look ugly enough in Texas or southern California, but it just seems ridiculous in suburban Baltimore---all those rooflines, all that chunky column work, plus all that ugly furniture.

Lutherville-Timonium?? What the fuck kind of name is that for a town?? I like suburban Baltimore but that house in a place with that name is crying out for being main site for a) mass murder and/or b) highly unpleasant haunting....

Mick Mansion horror. It's like looters ransacked a Tuscan villa and took all the valuable architectural detailing. Stripped it down to nothing.

It looks the way poor people imagine how wealthy people live.

If it's in Southern California it'd be in Thousand Oaks. Mundane wherever it is.

For that price you could buy a 1300sf 2 bedroom ranch in Palo Alto. Maybe.

Tuscan? Isn't it Spanish?

The basement looks like where my Fantasia had her combination baby shower/sweet 16 party.

Except for the hideous blue table cloth (in the high school keg party when your parente are out of town basement) there is not a splash of color in the whole place. It looks like a dentist's waiting room on steroids.

Those 5 x 7 rugs are sold at Big Lots. Back to the doublewide for these lotto winners.

[quote]Lutherville-Timonium?? What the fuck kind of name is that for a town??

It's two unincorporated "towns" that got grouped together for census purposes. There isn't much to either except being a major corridor of shops and car dealerships.

Why is the address 801-B? Hoping and praying that there are not two of them.

The dining room chairs are certainly industrial strength...definitely made to accommodate huge, spreading asses

The basement looks like a VFW hall with delusions of grandeur.

decorated by the same people who did Dr. Harry Weston's house.

Hey, for those of you looking down your noses at suburban Maryland, you reveal your ignorance. 20 miles north of Baltimore is one of the wealthiest areas in the world. The wealthiest of American aristocracy have their country manors there. A second wealthy enclave is about 70 miles to the east, on the Chesapeake: Rumsfeld, Cheney, sports team owners, celebrity writers, artists, corporate titans all have estates there. Asian royalty have retreated to the area when revolution at home makes it to risky to stay. The Princess of Bhutan is known to spend most of her year in Sparks, MD, riding about on horseback.

These people are the obnoxious billionaire sect. The ones who loathe and despise the great unwashed masses, the ones whose appallingly stupid, untalented and unfortunate-looking children go on to do "fake work" because their trust funds make real work unnecessary. They have gallery shows of their bad photography, start theatre groups for avant-garde playwrights, and produce movies that never find an audience.

I lived there for a couple of years about 7 or 8 years ago. I am poor. I had a big dog and would hike the country roads, which are gorgeous, and on more than one occasion, had private security guards check my identification to see if I "belonged" there. Maryland is the ultimate microcosm of the billionaire class hiding in view of the impoverished of the world.

The house in OP's listing? That is where social climbers live.

I like to think that basement was planned when the couple was younger for their swinger/key parties.

For nearly a 1/3rd of the price of that mcmansion, you could get this charmer 3 minutes away.

I counted at least 10 niches in that house, what was the architect thinking.

[quote]Mick Mansion horror.

Let's leave the Irish out of this.

Is it just me or are the Tasteful Friends people getting out of control? It seems like every other thread these days.

No, just no. Looks very cheaply built.

Every inch of that house makes my stomach churn. Truly hideous.

R25: Some of us are aware of that corridor, along with continuous parts of Baltimore City like Roland Park, but the house is still ugly, trashy and totally out of place. B'more has some rich trash like everywhere else.

I posted before. But now that I've looked at the listing twice, I wanted to follow up and say that I feel like the owners need to be physically punished in some way. Not sure how. Not anything really serious, but they should feel it.

Oh Francine, this house is just like Architectural Digest!

What kind of barbarian places a piano so close to a fireplace? and at that price, no pool?

That style of house has no business on the East Coast unless it's FL.

R26 is right to suggest swinger/key parties. Did anyone else notice the bedroom with two queen-size beds in it?

Also, is that a surreptitious kosher kitchen? Looks like two refrigerators, and there is a separate sink and counter away from the main cooking area?

This house has all the class of a bologna sandwich. For $1.5M I could have a smaller, but much nicer place with an ocean view in California.

Way too McMansiony for my taste, a hulking behemoth.

Hey, the 80s called and they want their kitsch back.

Did Teresa and Joe Giudice own a house in MD as well as NJ?

Without any doubt this is the ugliest piece of shit house in the top 5 shittiest houses that have ever been shown on this topic.

[quote] Is it just me or are the Tasteful Friends people getting out of control? It seems like every other thread these days.

I love these threads!

The outside looks like Taco Bell has been cloning itself over and over.

R25 was this house designed for 'Asian' royalty?

Someday when I can sell my house and move I swear I'm going to put my house up as a Tasteful Friends post. I bet I'll get $1,500,000 for it. Then you'll see-you'll all see!

You could sure do a lot of entertaining in that house, bless your heart.

On a different note, it's a great illustration of the wide gaps in real estate values in the US

That house in a NYC or SF burb would have an extra "0" in the price tag.

And the $1.5M house would be a basic 4 bedroom 1930s colonial with redone kitchen and bathrooms

And the classic 30s house won't be a joke like this one.

You could probably build something nice on that lot.

Materials look cheap, design is dated, and the layout is cramped, which is odd with that square footage. All those fat columns impede the visuals and open space making it seem more cluttered.

And the earlier poster who said the basement looks like a Ramada Inn, is spot on. Bland and inoffensive beyond belief.

Villa Wayfair.

On one column, I'll list the nice things about it. On the other column, I'll list the awful things. On yet another column I'll list .....so many columns.

No. Absolutely not. And I knew that before I even saw the interior.