Cruising Horror Stories

... As I made my way to the stairs, I realized I’d lost my shirt, which I had pulled through one of the belt loops on my jeans, but I wasn’t going back in for a damned Fruit of the Loom tank top, which I’m sure was on the disgusting floor anyway. At the top of the stairs, I passed the fucker who I’d rebuffed earlier, who obviously had been the one calling out my name, but I kept going, wanting to get away from him. When I got down to the coat check, I realized that the undershirt wasn’t the only thing missing. My wallet was gone. I hadn’t put it in my sock, as was my habit. So, not only were my money, credit card and I.D. gone, but so was the claim-check for my sweater, coat and scarf. Fuck. It was still relatively early, probably around 2:00 am, so there were hundreds of coats left, and the rule was that if you lost your coat check, you had to wait until the end of the night. The coat check queen wouldn’t give in either, even after I asked for the promoter of the party, Marc Berkley, who I knew, to intervene. I couldn’t find anyone I knew to bum some money from for a cab, so, in my drunken stupor I decided, “Fuck it, I’ll walk home!”

Outside, not only was it too cold to be bare chested, it had started to snow a little. But I thought I could make it the three blocks to the subway, jump the turnstile and take the train up to my apartment in Hell’s Kitchen, which was, by the way, years and years before it became the Overrun-With-Whores center of gaydom it is today. Luckily, before I could get a block, a cab with a drag queen and two other guys who I recognized from the neighborhood, but didn’t know at all stopped, asked what the hell I was doing, took pity on me and took me uptown to my apartment.

I was more careful the next time...

... I wondered after if the asshole yelling my name and calling attention to my forbidden blowjob was the one who stole my wallet that night. But, I think not. Someone stealing wallets in a back room probably wouldn't have been stupid enough to call attention to himself.

I used to go to a big nightclub in Pittsburgh that used to be a bank. A cute hairy guy was smiling and following me and I ended up following him into an upstairs restroom. He unbuckled his jeans and somehow, the belt buckle got caught on the metal supports of the sink.

He started freaking out and that was when I realized that he was, previously unbeknownst to me, hearing impaired. He was VERY loud and spoke with the impediment one would expect from a hearing impaired person - not his fault, but hearing THAT voice and THAT impediment at full volume.....well, it had a very "Dat's da suck job" vibe.

I tried to help him get disconnected, but we both ended up getting thrown out. And like R1, my coat got stuck in coat check without me.

Once a whore, always a whore, darlin’.

Ask your doctor about Seroquel, OP.

There was that one time in the park......

I wonder if OP's story will go on even more! I am sure nobody hopes so.

I don't see how that story has any indications of schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, or depression, r5.

OP, you never figured out who was the guy saying your name?

Yes, r7, perhaps I was a little verbose...

OP, now regale us with the tale of your journey to the Department of Motor Vehicles to obtain a replacement identification card.

R8 I think there is suspicion that OP hallucinated the guy and just got really fucked up & lost his stuff.

OF COURSE, the guy shouting your full name was the guy who took your wallet, OP.

How else would he know both your first and last name?

Wait ... were you formally introduced by Edith Wharton? That would also explain it.

Well, may he was the one who stole my wallet, r13. He got aggressive with me at bars after that, and I watched him get do the same with other people as well. So who knows?

Did you tell him your full name, OP?

If you didn’t, the only way he would know it would be by looking at your ID, which was .... in your wallet.

Or, as I said before, Edith Wharton told him.

[quote][R8] I think there is suspicion that OP hallucinated the guy and just got really fucked up & lost his stuff.

No, OP just types manic.

What's manic about it r16?

I know I'm gonna be accused of bumping my own thread, but I am really interested in hearing funny cruising stories. Anyone?

Big, tall, hairy, muscular leather daddy had a small, weak, effeminate voice. It still kills my boner when I think about it.

R18 I think the problem is most DLers are going to be the antagonists in these kinds of stories.

Between my freshman and sophomore years of college I took a student tour of Europe. I was deep in the closet, and hadn't yet had sex with a man. The tour group was fairly tight and did things together most evenings, but in London I had a night totally on my own. I made up my mind to go to a gay bar and try to have sex with someone. Anyone. So, around 9:00 I got to a bar I saw an ad for. No one looked twice at me. I stood at the bar, feeling like a fool. 9:45 and I hear, "Last call!" I looked around in confusion. I had no idea that in those days London bars all closed at 10:00. That's when a nice looking South African man in his late 30s or early 40s approached and explained the situation to me. I told him my story, how it was my first time in a gay bar. He invited to to go for a coffee, so I left with him. We found a coffee shop around the corner and chatted for half an hour or so. Then he said, "I've really enjoyed meeting you. I'd invite you home with me, but I have to be up early tomorrow for a business trip. Good night." And that was my first time trying to hook up at a gay bar.

My husband and I were out for brunch and then drinks with friends one weekend. Our friends were pretty much done, but we told them we wanted one last round... we didn’t tell them it was because some sexy, though also kind of greasy, young man was eyefucking us from the end of the bar. We said our goodbyes to the friends and let our prey come to us.

We ended up hitting it off, offered The Boy a drink at our place, he accepted and we took him home. I hope I don’t need to tell you everything that happened after that, but needless to say we all got naked and began enjoying ourselves.

The Boy was a total bottom, which was fine with us. We took turns, changed positions, kissed, fucked, etc. At one point he was on his knees, and I was fucking him from behind, my husband gave me the signal he wanted a go, so I pulled out. The Boy flipped onto his back, raised his legs and as my husband started to slide into him I slowly realized something wasn’t quite right.

I wasn’t fast enough to stop it though... The Boy, now on his back, my dick and balls hanging where they once had been pounding him from behind, maneuvered to suck me off as his other hole was getting continued attention. But he saw that he hadn’t prepared as fully for our group encounter as he should have. He pulled his face away from my slightly shit-covered cock, but still wasn’t able to fully avoid my balls, equally messy, dragging across his upper lip (and across his cheek too).

It’s the only time I’ve ever seen a Dirty Sanchez in real life.

R21 sounds like you were chubby and fugly.

R3 Pegasus?

When I was young there was a murder in my little town. A teen boy had been found naked with his head bashed in. Another teen who was gay was immediately suspected and when no charges were ever brought, intense pressure was put on the authorities who finally detained someone, who was freed for lack of evidence.

Fast forward years later, I met the alleged killer at a gay bar. I put on my SJW hat and questioned him about his feelings about the town (not good). I was outraged on his behalf that people thought he was a killer just because they thought he was gay. We went to his apartment and did the deed and I was thinking, how absurd anyone thought him a murderer. But when I got up to go he suddenly exploded in anger. "No one ever stays the night!" I said I would but I was just visiting the city and had to get back to my hosts. He ranted and raved, yelled, and even struggled with me to hold me in the bed as I broke free. I ended up feeling a little spooked. That doesn't make him a murderer, of course, but to have such a tantrum in your 40s is not a good sign.

Too many to try to remember, but most happened when I was a very naive college student ages 18-21 in the late 70's-early 80's pre-AIDS and I had a fake ID. All of them were sweet or funny in some way. I grew up in the SF Bay Area and it was 'prime time'. (The only "dangerous" one was an abusive boyfriend, not a hookup). On the surface, these encounters sound porn-worthy, but they were actually akward.

1) A bartender carded me at The Midnight Sun and didn't like my fake student ID, which he called "a library card" (I was 18) and kicked me out. The guy who bought me my third beer -- I was already drunk after the second beer and didn't remember where I parked -- literally picked me up, put me in his car, and took me to his place. His roomate/bf was away for the weekend. We took acid and I threw up in his kitchen, but then we had fun, just laughing and listening to music, until I realized that it was Monday morning and I had a Chemistry mid-term. I was freaking out and still tripping. He drove me to class, 75 miles away, and escorted me to the lecture hall. Late for the test. Some dorm-mates were there and it felt like everyone was looking at us. I was not out. We then went to my dorm room where I got some clothes, we took a shower together down the hall. Now I was out. Then went back to SF and found my car.

2) CHP pulls me over for speeding, but ends up writing me a fix-it ticket for a broken tail light. I couldn't stop staring at him, and he was so amused. 15 minutes later we are in my apartment and I am wearing his boots and he is riding my cock. I had never had anal sex before and came in about two minutes. Never saw him again.

3) Was visiting my parents for some reason. Went to the local suburban gay bar. It was dark. As usual, I started getting drunk after my second beer. Was having a great conversation with the guy sitting next to me, who looked exactly like Dennis Weaver. At last call, he took me back to his place. We were having great sex, but there was a picture on his wall showing him, 5 or 6 kids, and a wife who did not look happy. I realized that he was MUCH older than I thought, which was weird, but who cares. In the morning as we were sober and talking, I learned that he was a real estate appraiser. My mom was a broker. I asked if he knew (my mother's name) and he said "of course! great gal, how do you know her?". I had never seen the color drain from someone's face before. When I got home, hungover at about 8 am. my mom said that I needed water and coffee and some eggs and she was glad I didn't drive home at night and how I was so responsible. My stepdad was beaming and muttered something like, "yeah, as long as he didn't get her pregnant...". wink wink. Maybe five years later I came out to them. And then at the Thanksgiving table I mentioned that I had once slept with their friend, who was about 30 years my senior. My stepdad said something like "Oh, really good looking guy, but I always thought he was light in the loafers. You are a slut". And my Mom said "I'll tell him you said 'Hi".

R24 Zack's - on Fourth Avenue, in the early 90s. Now part of the new Playhouse, I think.

[quote] Big, tall, hairy, muscular leather daddy had a small, weak, effeminate voice. It still kills my boner when I think about it.

Sadly that's a common story. I remember going back to a "daddy's" place and when we got there it was if his ball cap had turned into a fascinator. His voice went up two octaves and he had lace doilies everywhere and bowls of lavender soap in his bathroom. It was all very MARY! and I got out of there as soon as I could.

Calling this a horror story might be a stretch but.....

I got cruised at a bar by a somewhat attractive older guy. He looked sort of familiar but I couldn't put my finger on it. Turns out he had been one of my teachers in middle school.

R29 MARY!

R14 & R15, I later realized that the guy and I were vague acquaintances before the encounter at The Limelight, which is how he knew my name to shout it out.

r21 counts as horror?

r26 gets the Oversharing of the Year Award.

Do you always tell your parents about your tricks?

If The Limelight saga gets any longer, Ryan Murphy will option it and turn it into an eight episode series.

This was in like 2002 - the Gay.com days. I lived in Brooklyn, was broke and in-between jobs. I met a guy online - a total daddy (that's my type), in his pic he looked like Tom Selleck. He loved my pic as well and wanted me to come over to his apartment in Gramercy ASAP. Sure! Before I got his address, he simply wrote "I hope you don't mind, but I didn't have time to clean much." Eh, what did I care - I wanted DADDY DICK!.

The first hint that something was off was when I arrived at his apartment building. The building itself was nice, right off the park. But when I announced myself to the doorman and told him who I was going to see, he sighed and rolled his eyes. Shook his head a little. He called up to the guy and said curtly "XXX is here!" and then slammed the phone down. ???

I got on the elevator a little weirded out, but whatever. The pull of the dick is strong. I got to his door and knocked. I heard some noise and then the door opened just a crack. He looked me up and down, then told me to enter.

As soon as I walked in, I knew things were about to take a turn. It took me a moment for my eyes to adjust - it was dark except for the light coming in through the windows. When things came into focus I could see this guy was a total fucking hoarder. Boxes, to-go wrappers, newspapers, weird objects, plates, magazines, record albums, sacks of rice, empty water bottle, bric-a-brac - just towered EVERYWHERE. And it reeked. A pungent assault of aromas invaded my senses and I instinctively exclaimed "oh my god!", turning to him incredulously. The motherfucker was in a leather skirt and harness - and looked NOTHING like his pic. He could see I was about to lose it and started explaining that the pic was from a few years ago before he put on weight. Blah blah blah. I was about to just get the fuck out but he said "wait!!!! do you smoke weed?"

I did.

He then walked over to a trash bag and opened it up. In it was a MASSIVE bale of weed that was so fragrant it literally annihilated all of the other sickening aromas. "I'll give you as much as you want if you let me suck your dick."

I didn't think twice. I just closed my eyes, dropped my jeans and thought about Russel Crowe (it was the post-Gladiator years). He polished my knob greedily and then gave me about a pound of weed. I RAN out of there. As I left the lobby trailing NUCLEAR marijuana fumes, the doorman just gave me the nastiest look I've ever gotten in my life.

The weed lasted for months, and I sold a bunch too, until I got another job.

R35 wins.

Wins what? “The Whoriest Stoner Ever to Have Whored in 2002” award? I can picture the trophy topper now.

I can also picture Melania’s face showing interest when she hears about the award and realizes she should be nominated too.

R35 for the win! A cash prize for Polaroids.

I also knew one of those, R19. And he drank Zima!

Zima....takes me back

Any guy who encountered "The Doodler" in San Francisco

I dunno if this falls in the category of "cruising," but it's kind of related.

I'm a police officer and play on a City League baseball team. One of our opposing teams is made up of plumbers. They're a really nice group of guys, and are quite physically attractive. One of their players in particular is a fucking knockout: late 30s I'm guessing, dark hair, 1970s Tom Selleck porn mustache, body by Chrysler, ass like Jello on springs. On a scale of 1-10, this dude is an absolute 15. He's a second-baseman who was born to play that position. He kills. And when he's at bat, even I am kind of afraid of him.

Until he opens his mouth and starts talking. It's like Franki Grandé meets Ross Mathews. I want to seize him by his tree-trunk-like neck and throttle him and say, "cut that the fuck OUT!!!"

So, getting back to the cruising horror story aspect, he did invite me out for a beer one day after a game. but I politely declined. I'm sorry, but I'm into dudes. Call me an elitist. I've been called worse.

R35 reminded me, by mentioning gay.cum (as I always called it). I'd been chatting with a guy and he had nice pics, and he said he was a teacher at a private school (total perv giveaway, in hindsight). He wasn't much older than me (maybe 8 years older, at the most). He gave me his address and told me to just walk in the front door when I got to his place. We were both in suburbia, so I thought nothing of it. I got to his house--very 70s tract home like the one I was renting the 2nd floor in--and I knocked quickly and went right in. He was on the 1.5 floor landing (remember those terribly odd 70s architectural concoctions?), with lots of candles lit. He vocalized a quick "Hi" and motioned for me to come in. Once I got up on the weird landing, he was buck naked and sprawled out on a sofa, edging to some porn on his laptop. I waited a couple of minutes and tried to touch him, but he shoo'd me away. After about 10 minutes of observing and trying to think what to say/do, I asked him what he'd like to do. He immediately shut the laptop and asked if we could take a short drive in my truck. We did, and he told me what side street to park on. Within about 25 seconds after parking my truck, he had whipped out his cock and he came all over the passenger seat floor mat. That was the extent of the interaction...he refused to be touched. I dropped him back off at his house and never saw or chatted with him again.

No random hookups=No bad cruising stories.

There used to be a popular cruisy nude beach in LA in Palos Verdes. Steep trails to get down. Very secluded coves. Never got crowded. Sucked and fucked right out in the open several times. Hooked up with this hot young Latino with gray hair. We're totally naked 69. Then we hear "Oh My God!" In a man's voice. We jump up terrified. There was a small narrow path that ran parallel to the beach halfway up the cliff that I never noticed. There were six people in bikes just staring at us. We grabbed our clothes and knapsacks without even putting our speedos back on and ran like hell to the other side of the beach into the bushes. We hid for about an hour. We never finished.

Sorry; lost me at "get my swerve on".

[Quote] There was a small narrow path that ran parallel to the beach halfway up the cliff that I never noticed. There were six people in bikes just staring at us.

Riverside Park on the Hudson was like that. Guy and I got it on. The circle line sails by. Tourists staring at us. We waved, got completely naked and put on a great show. Sorry not a horror story but r45 brought back a memory.

I remember in the 90s using a phone line for hookups, right before AOL came around, etc.

There was a guy that, after a few back and forth messages, I figured he was about three blocks. He sounded hot, and wanted to come over so I could blow him. I was more naive in those days, more up for anything, and said sure.

The thing I hadn't caught in his outgoing message (broadcast to everyone) was that he said he was looking for someone "kind and generous." Ooops, I had NO idea that "generous" was code for a hustler, that he was asking for payment. I sure as hell learned that day, though.

I apologized profusely but told him I had no idea that's what he was asking for, and no disrespect but I wasn't in any financial position to pay. Luckily, he wasn't an asshole about it. (Maybe because he was only a few blocks from home.) He just shrugged and said later. Lesson learned!

(He was hot, too, in a sort of rough around the edges Matt Dillon-y way.)

Most of these seem to be more like hook-up horror stories than cruising ones surely?

I haven't really done cruising anywhere other than a gay bar/club/sauna and have never had random hook-ups in non-gay environments after eye contact and sneaking off somewhere for a discrete blowjob etc.

I can remember a couple of bad cruising in club scenarios, once when I was with a few friends and I was really, really drunk and just dancing with randoms and snogged about 3 of them on the dance floor (who were all of variable degrees of attractiveness according to my less drunk friends, but honestly I have no memory of what they looked like) and one time in a club on my own, one of those 'shirts off' kind of vibes but for some reason I had kept my t-shirt on and I was dancing with a super sweaty French guy, I needed to either get this guy to invite me back to his place for the night or be out all night and wait for the first train home in the morning and I decided I wasn't into him enough to go home with him so I left and then had to wait on a freezing cold train platform at dawn in a t-shirt soaked in his sweat, it was grim.

One of the actual cruising horror stories I can remember is just the recurring presence of The Troll Who Won't Take No For An Answer.

I had a favorite cruising place where I often hooked up with hot suit and tie types, but there was always one socially awkward guy who was ALWAYS there....you could go day or night and there he was. Guys would push him to make him leave, because he was just so fucking dense.

I can’t stand those guys, r50, and they’re everywhere.

R51 Yep, there's always one!

And they either try to get into your action, or they won't go away so action can happen....hate em!

I call them “campers.” They’re camping out there FFS.

Mine was a black tranny that I sold dope with (I know, save your judgements till the end because it gets worse).

We had split a shipment and I knew that he would go through his real fast. I actually sold mine, but only to a select group so mine moved slower. He was in my car one night and I knew he was out. I told him I was too and he started going crazy, tried to unzip my pants and refused to get out. Yelled about being a junky, slapping the windows.

Now mind you, I had a glock under my seat. I live in the south and have CC. Don’t wanna blow that. So I grabbed his phone and threw it out of the car and slowly left where we were, giving him plenty of time to go grab it, which he didn’t.

So I pulled on the highway and started heading out to redneck country. I would mumble into my phone every now and then and finally said “were here” into it as I was pulling onto an abandoned road.

He was still crying when I dropped him off back where the phone had been. Nothing happened, except for him having a nervous breakdown.

As we all can see, Mary R42 is ALL MAN!

I probably should have said 'cruising and hook up stories'. The ones that aren't from a cruising situation are just as interesting.

bump

I was staying at a friend's while I was visiting his city.

He was gone for the night, so I invited a guy back from the bar.

I woke up in the middle of the night and heard something odd.

He was peeing all over my friend's carpets.

Not a horror story, but coincidental *and* embarrassing. Picture it: Boston in the late 80s. I used to do a lot of in-house catering for an ad agency and we had an account at a local market. I'd go and get things we'd need for parties, lunch meetings, etc. There was a guy there who wouldn't leave me alone when I'd go in. If I needed deli, there he'd be. Bakery? Bingo! Cash out? Naturally. He would always throw in a couple packs of cigarettes for me, too. He'd constantly say that we had to hang out, go party, go to a concert. He was actually attractive but his buzzing around me made me nervous and self-conscious. I eventually left the job and saw no more of him. Until about two years later.

I was at a bar looking for a hookup and met this great looking guy, smart and we had a lot of fun talking. This was a real connection and it took quite a long time (3+ hours) to decide if we wanted to spend the night together. We even decide then that it's a NSA thing. We go back to his place, go into his room, and proceed to have some of the best sex of my life. Great body, great dick, skillful on every level. My enjoyment expressed itself with laughter and a lot of talk.

Next morning, he wakes me up and says coffee is ready. I walk into the kitchen and sure enough -- his roommate is sitting there too, and it's the guy from the market. Neither one of us lets on that we know the other and the hookup is as fun in the morning as he was last night. He even apologizes to his roommate for how much noise we must have made. I don't want to go, but I am getting the death stare from market boy. My hookup was as fun and enjoyable as he walked me to the T. He even kissed me on the platform -- my first public kiss. Anyway, never saw either of them again.

Most are horror stories. To have a great one is the exception!

R42 is a douche.

A hot guy is a hot guy. You didn’t have to marry him.

R42 is either lying or a total idiot.

1980s St. Marks Baths NYC. Someone broke into my locker and took all my clothes and money. They have a big cardboard box in the front office of left behind clothes and they let you pick and choose a shirt and pants to wear. Luckily my shoes were left in the locker and I left my apt. keys in shoes. I had to walk to my apt. in the most disgusting pants and shirt, luckily it was early summer so I didn't freeze. Learned to use the lockbox after that.

R63, what year was it?

r64 = locker thief.

R65, I was born in 1978!

OP here: It was 82 or 83.

R63 and at R67, sorry I am not the OP.

Bartender at The Spike. I was 24 he was probably 33-38. Went to his place in Gramercy. I was excited about a raunchy sling session. In my “do everything, learn everything” phase. He put out lines on LR table - I didn’t ask what they were and did them. As we start at it, I feel sick and dizzy. Race to the bathroom and puke my guts out for 15 minutes. Then the roommate comes in - old guy who probably owned apartment. I could leave bathroom for 20-30 minutes. Ended up staying night - but no sex.

Still dont know what it was - but I’ve heard you can have that reaction when you first do heroin. Wasn’t coke definitely. And was white/brown. I learned that lesson the hard way.

[quote] I was born in 1978!

That's no excuse, you were old enough to know better.

R69, what did you learn from that lesson, and did it need repeating?

Fantastic r59!

No, you are not me, r63, but that's an OP-worthy story!

Sorry, r70, it's an asshole who gives someone drugs and doesn't tell them what it is. A real asshole. The guy who gave it to him didn't deserve to get laid.

I was in college at UF and there was a gay bar on the outskirts of town called the Melody Club. Usually full of the same regulars but that night I noticed a MAN standing off in the corner sucking down a beer. Big, hairy, built and obviously uncomfortable. I being the horny young stud I was back then made a beeline. Chatted him up and found out he worked in construction, was married with kids, wife out of town. We both knew why he was there. We talked for a while and after a couple more beers I invited him back to my place for a nightcap. We get to my place and he takes of his shirt and I almost came at the sight of that hairy chest and big arms. This guy was my dream man. We kissed and we started to undress each other. I felt the bulge in his jeans and the fucker is hung as well. I unbutton his pants and he brushes my hand away and says let me do it. He turns his back pulls down his drawers god damn if he wasn't wearing woman's underwear. He looks back over his shoulder and coyly asks me if I like his pretty pink panties in a nelly voice. I couldn't help myself but I busted out laughing, that was not what I was expecting. He was not amused to say the least and suddenly he was Mr. Butch again. He got really angry grabbed his clothes and stomps out of the room half naked, slams the front door and peals out of my driveway. He was obviously humiliated and I guess I was lucky I didn't get my ass kicked.

Gosh, OP.

And to think that in 1990 you already were close to 70. And that was before gerontological pneumonia shots.

I've only ever really done cruising at a gay sauna/bath house and this isn't a horror story exactly but I attracted the attention of an extremely hot, built and hairy man at a sauna in Prague and we went to one of those little rooms together to get it on and his breath smelled like he had been chewing on a mound of rotten cabbages. I ended up just jerking off and shooting over his chest because I wanted to get away.

Same place and in the porn room I was just chilling when a guy asked me if he could give me a foot massage, I thought "Why not?" and let him, I carried on watching the porn while getting the massage and then suddenly he started sucking my toes and I jumped up and that was the end of that.

i have one from when CL personals were still around. i had been emailing with this tall and super muscular HUNG black guy - think NFL player - and we both liked each others pictures, so i gave him my address. he tells me he’s parking, so i went to meet him outside. he had parked down the street.

i could barely make him out coming up the street as it was pretty dark. all i could really hear was the sound and echoing of hurrying flips flops coming towards me - not men’s sandals which i don’t think sound as loud - but womens flip flops. i didn’t think much of it. as he gets closer, i could make out more of his appearance. his frame was supposed to be wide, muscular and tall, but he was actually short and chubby. instead of a neat lineup per his picture, he’s wearing a shoulder length bob wig and dressed in an ill fitting super tight cheetah print mini dress and the damn flip flops. he was clearly untucked as you could make out the meaty outline of his dick inside the dress. he was a crossdresser.

he finally comes face to face with me and grabs my ass and asks, “what’s up, baby?”, in his best girlish voice. i’m shocked that he catfished me this hard. i apologize and tell him that i’m not up to it anymore because he sent me fake pictures. he tries to play it off and persuade me to have sex with him anyway. he asked what did it matter what he looked like if he was hung and i had a nice ass? i reject him again and his attitude does a 180 and his girly voice is gone. he tells me he’s mad because he had to drive out to me as he digs through his purse, as i tell him he shouldn’t have sent me fake pictures. i was getting scared and honestly expecting him to whip out a can of mace to spray me with for turning him down, but he takes out his keys and heads back to his car as he cusses me out.

r78, you were going to hook with a random man you never met at your place?? That is very trusting of you.

I've never cruised because the first story I ever heard about cruising was as a teen and it definitely qualifies as a horror story. The story in the paper was a married man was "mugged" while taking a leisurely stroll through the local park (at night) but what actually happened was the married guy followed a young guy into the bushes where the young guy and his friends were waiting to beat and rob him, I heard this version of the story because two of the "friends" were in my senior class and were bragging about how smart they all were because they'd kept the guy's ID and family photos so if he tried to press charges they could out him as a faggot, so needless to say cruising held no appeal.

Well their plan hardly worked if he went to the police and said he was mugged, did it?

In the early days of AOL, it took me some time, but I realized that, if someone didn't have a pic to share, he was likely an ugly troll.

Only on two occasions did the lack of a pic turn out better than expected.

Love ya R82!

[quote] Only on two occasions did the lack of a pic turn out better than expected.

An optimistic whore who knew the pitfalls of hooking up without a photo and still did it anyway!

He said he was mugged R81 and my classmates finished their senior year so I guess that's all he said.

[quote] An optimistic whore who knew the pitfalls of hooking up without a photo and still did it anyway!

I only did it at the beginning of my hook days (aol and CL). Once I realized that not having a pic drastically increased the odds that someone was gross, I stopped. But it did take me a while because, at the beginning, not everyone was so willing to share a pic online.

As time went on, however, more and more got comfortable sharing pics, of course.

[79] what are you, 80? sorry if you couldn't hookup effectively through pigeon messenger.

[Quote] And my Mom said "I'll tell him you said 'Hi".

R26 Your mother; priceless!

There was a guy from the Midwest or somewhere a couple of years ago who was on a cruise and dropped his baby through an open window and she fell hundreds of feet and was killed.

bump

[quote] I was in college at UF

And they didn’t teach paragraphs there?

I know someone who got hit on by a anti-gay Republican former congressman

I have a eldergay friend who got raped by Goofy on a cruise ship. That was tragique.

I know I've already told DL the story about getting picked up by a guy. Driving up to the Hollywood Hills to look at the lights. We park and he proceeds to tie himself off and shoot up. You know, like he was taking out a piece of chewing gum or something. I got out of there as quick as I could and hitched a ride to the bottom.

This other story was early days and I was still "heterosexual". I was with my girlfriend hanging out when this guy offered us beer. We chatted awhile when he invited us over to his place to smoke some weed. We get high and he starts encouraging us to fool around. Pot always made me incredibly horny so I was all for it. He started verbally guiding us on what to do to each other. Getting more and more aggressive as we went on.

My girlfriend was much smarter and aware then I was. She figured out that he wanted to let us get started and then was going to jump in on the action and he wasn't going for a three-way, he definitely wanted to focus strictly on her. She was blonde and very pretty and even at the age of seventeen knew how the world worked. I was completely clueless.

I hope the injection of a female isn't too much of a boner killer for the thread. For some reason the thread made we remember being so young and naive.

Please don't post about women. Thanks.

So what did your smart seventeen year old girlfriend do R93? How did she get you out?

She just grabbed me and we got the hell out of there R95. I was 18 and just fresh from moving out on my own (from the midwest to CA) I hadn't yet learned there was a lot of evil in the world.

Sorry to trigger you R94. It won't happen again. A year later I was on my way to being gay as pink ink!

R82/R83/R85 - I was in college right at the beginning of the 2000s and remember vividly how the online hook-ups changed forever once cell phones had cameras (even though the quality of the pictures were really terrible). That technology changed online profiles forever; before it you were really flying solo outside of the few who were willing to post a scanned pic from a random group photo and black out their face, etc. I was only sexually active with women during college (although I had been blown by and later topped a closeted guy who I met through my high school gf), but by my senior year I was finally sexually frustrated enough to start pursuing sex with men. I was downright panic-stricken sneaking into gay bars those first few times as I lived in a college town that was not a large, vast city (particularly if you went to a high school in that particular city). That said, knowing exactly what your fuck buddy looked like, how he carried himself and conversed, etc. was a huge plus and something that will never be matched with apps any time soon. Cruising in person was thrilling and very sexually charged. You knew exactly what you were getting into (at least as far as looks and demeanor were concerned) and "casual" sex was definitely a far less nerve-racking experience. Some of the hottest asses that I ever fucked belonged to other fraternity guys who much like myself were sneaking into a gay bar hoping no one would recognize them and out them back on campus. Much like an affair between two married people - you had an insurance policy. Sigh...to be 20 yoa and having sex with all those young, sexy men. Great memories.

Walking home from college one evening by the local park, looking for some fun. A handsome guy, in brand new BMW drove by smiled and told me to hop in. Guy was extremely hot, good conversationalist , and drove to a quiet street. We made out, then he unzipped and I willingly went down on him.

Except the smell....which was frankly nauseating . I began to raise my head, but he pushed my face right into his crotch. And without warning I heaved and vomited straight into his lap all over his crotch and shirt and pants. He let out a roar and I hightailed it out of the car and disappeared down a side-street. After that experience, I developed the habit of playing with a guy's dick early on, then non-nonchalantly brushing my fingers over my nose.

I've told this one before, and it became a DL Meme...but here's my story again.

I was out driving, and there was this tall thin guy with a baseball hat on standing in a cruisy area. I smiled at him, and he got in his car and followed me. He followed me into my apartment as well. I stood in my bedroom and he pulled my pants down and started giving me amazing head. He looked pretty good physically, and his face seemed normal, average.

He swallowed my cum, and I said "thanks that was amazing".

His eyes lit up and he looked at me and said the only words he ever said to me..."DAAAAT'S DA SUCK JOB!" It was then that I realized he wasn't normal at all...but somewhat 'special'. He left, and I died a little inside....

[quote] My girlfriend was much smarter and aware then I was.

Yes, she was.

Oh, dear!

OMGAA r99, you're the Suck Job guy???!!! That meme is LEGEND.

r99 — You are truly the king of DL.

[R90] Why is there always one snippy bitch that has to be a critic. Go kill yourself, truly the rest of us do not give a fuck what you have to say.

[quote] Why is there always one snippy bitch that has to be a critic.

One?

Are you new here?

cruise-o-bump.

Suck my dick r76, at 56, I'd be willing to be that I'm better preserved than you are, and more articulate.

Forgot to sign my post ^^^. OP

He knew my real name before that night. And fuck you The Nice One.

We’ve done this thread a few times now but I always enjoy the stories.

I went on the Monarch of the Seas. The lochs were shreklekh. The bagels like tires. Oye! Never again!

R81, R84 - I bet you the cops knew that park was for gay cruising. That guy at least outed himself to the police if he said he was mugged.

In the 1990s when I was with my ex-partner, we started going to these gay potluck dinners. It was usually at the place owned by the older guy who started the dinners. He rented the venue out for weddings and parties. Occasionally it would be at someone's house. One time in the summer we wound up at a gay camping ground right on a river that was known for nudists frequenting it. This one guy is talking to some others and staring at me. He had a tank top on and was very hairy, which I love, and nice looking. He was wearing tight shorts that showed off an impressive bulge. He was staring holes through me.

My partner was talking to someone he knew, so I made my way to the river to take a look at the view, which was gorgeous. The guy who was staring at me makes his way over to me and stands next to me. I could feel the sexual attraction. Then he opens his mouth and introduces himself and he has the most awful speech impediment. He pronounced his Ls like Ws, sounded a bit like Elmer Fudd and had a cartoonish voice. Immediate dick wilter. The sexual attraction I felt was gone the second he started talking. I was nice and talked to him but tried to make it clear the attraction that seemed to be there was gone. He didn't get the message and hit on me hard the rest of the night.

At dinner, we were sitting at a picnic table and he shoved himself between me and the guy on my right. My partner was on my left. He kept putting his hands on my leg and pressing himself against me. He would not leave me alone. Every time I got away from him, he'd find me. At one point, I'd gotten away from him and was alone with my ex, who said, "That guy wants to fuck you really bad!" I laughed and said no way would I ever sleep with Elmer Fudd! My ex cracked up but was amused the rest of the night. Voice guy wound up cornering me and my ex and was hinting hard he wanted a 3-way, and pretty much said his goal would be to fuck me. My ex started teasing him and saying he loved to watch guys fuck me. Jesus, was I pissed he was stringing this guy along. When we finally left and he looked so expectant, I just said goodnight. He looked crushed.

After that, I used to imitate the guy's voice and make my ex-partner laugh. One time he laughed so hard he almost lost control of the car!

Lol that’s a cute story r111.

I have a friend who used to frequent the St. Mark’s Baths in the 80s. He has a funny story about a frumpy guy that showed up one night dressed as a clown, wig, shoes and all. But his make up was kind of sweated off, and costume disheveled. He was hanging out in the room where guys can sit in seats and watch a porno. Everyone was ignoring him and refusing his advances. My friend spoke to him and he was a little drunk. He said he’d come from working all day as a clown at some function and didn’t feel like going home to change, but wished he had because no one seemed interested in him.

My friend later said to the guy in charge at the front entrance, “Hey, you know there’s a clown in there?” And the guy just shrugged.