One day, in the foothills of the Carolinas, there will be a fabulous amusement park that will rival Dollywood.
Let's be the scenery, sounds, rides, dining, shows, shops, costumes, hosts, guest entertainers, visitors, etc., featured at Lindseyland.
For evening adult entertainment, I offer Lá Sènatrice's cat and mouse game.
|by Anonymous||reply 92||08/04/2020|
The teacup ride will feature replica hand-painted bone china cups in which to sit and spin. They will be decorated in the most graceful of authentic antique patterns.
It's always 4 o'clock in the adjoining tearoom/garden, filled with coy, discreet tables in private cubbyholes, and staffed by smartly-dressed young men.
|by Anonymous||reply 1||07/28/2020|
Fox News can run shows from there.
|by Anonymous||reply 2||07/28/2020|
The "Pirates of the Carolinas" will feature animatronic Lady Gs chasing half-naked big black bucks as the Lady Gs hoist their petticoats coquettishly and offer salt-water taffy.
|by Anonymous||reply 3||07/28/2020|
This park will have a pub!
|by Anonymous||reply 5||07/28/2020|
I thought you were referring to Lindsey Lohan and I got excited.....
|by Anonymous||reply 6||07/28/2020|
Lindz's park shop sells golf balls.
|by Anonymous||reply 7||07/29/2020|
For Miz Lindz's "Hall of Menz", she'll pay top dollar for this statue:
|by Anonymous||reply 8||07/29/2020|
A miniature golf course where you play into a giant orange anus
|by Anonymous||reply 10||07/29/2020|
Wearing masks will be optional. Masks impede fun.
|by Anonymous||reply 11||07/29/2020|
Join us every evening for mint juleps in The Sanitary Cafe as our fabulous celebrity guests judge the nightly drag queen parade. Bonus points for the contestants who best incorporate the Palmetto state theme in their Carmen Miranda costumes.
|by Anonymous||reply 12||07/29/2020|
Waterpark with the 10-story Slippery Slope made entirely of Russian rubles!
|by Anonymous||reply 13||07/29/2020|
The gift shop has an array of themed children's books.
|by Anonymous||reply 14||07/29/2020|
No benches for the weary: Fainting couches!
|by Anonymous||reply 15||07/29/2020|
Each afternoon tea is served in The Boudoir.
|by Anonymous||reply 16||07/29/2020|
At closing time, the staff say only “Good day to you, sir” and “I said good day!”
|by Anonymous||reply 18||07/29/2020|
"Putin's Bitch" is an after hours, gentlemen only club for dads once the wife & the kiddies are safely tucked back in their hotel rooms
|by Anonymous||reply 19||07/29/2020|
VIP guests are assigned an alpha male to follow around and suck up to.
|by Anonymous||reply 20||07/29/2020|
Every night, the park puts on a fireworks show. At that time, the Katy Perry song, "Firework" plays on the intercom system, followed by all of her albums in full. Male dancers perform to Katy's music at the exit gates.
|by Anonymous||reply 21||07/29/2020|
Nightly live theater performances of GLASS MENAGERIE, CAT ON A HOT TIN ROOF, and SUDDENLY LAST SUMMER.
|by Anonymous||reply 22||07/29/2020|
LINDSEYLAND will be open for everyone ( whose first language is English).
|by Anonymous||reply 23||07/29/2020|
Colored guests are welcome the third Thursday of each month.
|by Anonymous||reply 24||07/29/2020|
Shirts are NOT required at this park.
|by Anonymous||reply 25||07/29/2020|
Guests are urged to carry parasols at the height of the day.
|by Anonymous||reply 26||07/29/2020|
My favorite attractive: Golfing With Trumpy
|by Anonymous||reply 27||07/29/2020|
An Old Tyme Photo Studio, where you can dress as Scarlett or Aunt Pittypat
|by Anonymous||reply 28||07/29/2020|
R24 is correct. And people of the Jewish persuasion are welcome on the second Tuesday of every month.
|by Anonymous||reply 29||07/29/2020|
R28 is correct too, except guests can take souvenir photos that make it appear that they are standing next to DJT, Mike Pence, Mitch McConnell or Susan Collins. A heartwarming keepsake.
|by Anonymous||reply 30||07/29/2020|
"Colored guests are welcome the third Thursday of each month."
But in Lindsey's boudoir, every day is Negro Day!
|by Anonymous||reply 31||07/29/2020|
The Tunnel of Forbidden Love, where you can discreetly cuddle with your secret gentleman caller
|by Anonymous||reply 32||07/29/2020|
The artwork on the walls of the LadyG theater is alluring. This one may be called: "Two Impatient Gentleman Caller ballers".
|by Anonymous||reply 33||07/29/2020|
In front of each ride is a sign with a cartoon character holding a ruler. The character says "You must be this tall to ride."
After 10 p.m., the Lady G-force ride opens. It has a similar sign, but the ruler is only 1.5 feet long, and it's horizontal.
|by Anonymous||reply 34||07/29/2020|
Damn! Lindseyland sure loves to blast a lot of Paul Anka music through the audio system. One supposes that helps make visitors feel festive.
|by Anonymous||reply 35||07/29/2020|
All of the walkways have been constructed to look like yellow-brick roads.
|by Anonymous||reply 36||07/29/2020|
R14 where can I get my hands on that fabulouso toilet brush???
|by Anonymous||reply 37||07/29/2020|
R37 I actually received one as a holiday gift from a relative. I use it to scrub the toilet. It came from a store in Maryland, a D.C. suburb. Versions can be found online.
|by Anonymous||reply 39||07/29/2020|
The Haunted Antebellum Mansion - haunted by the ghosts of uppity slaves, who demand pesky things like "freedom" and "civil rights"
|by Anonymous||reply 40||07/29/2020|
Two days per year in the park, one in the spring and one in the early fall, are reserved for only father-son visitors. Special activities are planned.
|by Anonymous||reply 41||07/29/2020|
You can ride the mechanical giant dildo like a bull for 3 red tickets. Level 5 of the dildo is the G spot speed.
|by Anonymous||reply 42||07/29/2020|
Guess who leads the nightly Parade of Our Dominion, starting at the Tea House and ending at the Closet of Love Bumper Car & Back Room Pavilion?
|by Anonymous||reply 43||07/29/2020|
For Democratic black politicians, the resident artist will do a portrait of you with darker skin tone.
|by Anonymous||reply 44||07/29/2020|
Masks WILL be available, r11.
|by Anonymous||reply 45||07/29/2020|
The Hall of Divas - Lindseyland's version of the Hall of Presidents
|by Anonymous||reply 46||07/29/2020|
At Lindseyland's Hannity Educational Center, the Trump endorsed medical expert on Astral Sex and Alien DNA, will provide lectures on the coronavirus.
|by Anonymous||reply 47||07/29/2020|
Can there be a Lezzyland to go next to the Hagatorium?
|by Anonymous||reply 49||07/29/2020|
I liked the It's a Small-Minded World attraction
|by Anonymous||reply 51||07/29/2020|
Adjoining the park is is the exclusive LindseyLinks golf course.
Chris Christie, Kellyanne, and Trump would certainly enjoy LindseyLinks.
|by Anonymous||reply 53||07/29/2020|
LindseyLinks is also the name of the hot dogs served at all park snack bars.
|by Anonymous||reply 54||07/29/2020|
Susan Collins bobblehead available in the Gift Shoppe.
|by Anonymous||reply 55||07/29/2020|
I'm very concerned about that
|by Anonymous||reply 56||07/29/2020|
It's no fun when EVERY ride goes into a mock-up of his ass!
|by Anonymous||reply 57||07/29/2020|
I'm the Sambo's restaurant located in the park! We're taking a stand again those commie liberals and their political correctness!
|by Anonymous||reply 58||07/29/2020|
R49 that’s the Grand Ole Hagatorium, & yes, Loretta Lynne Lezzieland aggressively abutts.
|by Anonymous||reply 59||07/30/2020|
The pastry shop is unbeatable!
|by Anonymous||reply 60||07/30/2020|
The Hall of President - just one hall full of Trump statues
|by Anonymous||reply 63||07/30/2020|
Republican only men's' rooms where each stall has an Old Glory Hole.
|by Anonymous||reply 65||07/30/2020|
R65. There's also a recreation area devoted to such.
|by Anonymous||reply 66||07/30/2020|
Have your morning coffee before heading onto the J. Pirro BikeTrail of Lindseyland.
|by Anonymous||reply 67||07/30/2020|
The restroom will be called Senator Craig's Office
|by Anonymous||reply 68||07/30/2020|
Every fourth Thurday of every month, festivities will be exclusive for lesbians.
|by Anonymous||reply 69||07/30/2020|
I'd love to be enchanted by this man. Please make this a thing.
|by Anonymous||reply 70||07/30/2020|
The New Year's Eve celebration at Lindseyland will be special!
|by Anonymous||reply 71||07/30/2020|
I think everyone is getting that Lindseyland is filthy, baudy, fun, DIRTY, trashy, cheap, racey, dangerous, eXXXciting!!!
|by Anonymous||reply 72||07/30/2020|
Is there a foam party room,?
|by Anonymous||reply 73||07/30/2020|
The nightly ghost tour is very spooky. It concludes at the Milton Berle--Bone Spurs Penis Caverns.
|by Anonymous||reply 74||07/30/2020|
The botanical garden has the Senatrix touch.
|by Anonymous||reply 75||07/30/2020|
Хороший танец для La Senatrice. Такая милая леди.
|by Anonymous||reply 77||07/31/2020|
Lindsay will personally host the Saturday Lemon Party.
|by Anonymous||reply 78||07/31/2020|
Experience the thrills and spills on the "Miss Lindsay's Wild Ride!"
|by Anonymous||reply 79||07/31/2020|
Don't knock the pastry shop. Yummy!
|by Anonymous||reply 80||07/31/2020|
When La Senatrix makes an appearance, gentleman callers must wait in line to visit her abode's parlor.
|by Anonymous||reply 82||07/31/2020|
Don't forget the mustache rides, R81.
|by Anonymous||reply 83||07/31/2020|
Each morning at sunrise join Mizz Linsdey at the Wailing Wall. It features a life size portrait of Big John McCain.
|by Anonymous||reply 84||07/31/2020|
At the park's Pompeo theater, Mame will be showing while ticket holders will be enjoying buckets of "crawdaddies", corn on the cob, and pecan pie using Sarah Huckabee's (really Sara Lee's) special recipe.
|by Anonymous||reply 85||08/01/2020|
"We'll get started with the follies as soon as Diamond & Silk get here".
|by Anonymous||reply 86||08/01/2020|
If happened, it would be another DJT property purchased from laundered loans from a Russian oligarch, but soon afterwards, goes into bankruptcy.
|by Anonymous||reply 87||08/02/2020|
Lindseyland only accepts Rubles, massive amounts of government pork & on Honesty Tuesdays: Gay Dollars 💵
|by Anonymous||reply 88||08/02/2020|
Sounds like a lovely place.
|by Anonymous||reply 89||08/02/2020|
The glass coffee table ride is an eye-opener!
|by Anonymous||reply 91||08/04/2020|
All the doors hold whores and the tricks say "Di-VOON!"
In Miss Lindsey's Tea-ki Tea-ki TEA-ki ROOM!
|by Anonymous||reply 92||08/04/2020|