Iconic Film Roles Recast with Chrissy Metz

Titanic - we wouldn’t still be having the debate about whether they could both fit on the door.

"A Cry In The Dark"

"That dingo took my suckling pig!"

“Breakfast, Lunch, Dinner and Desserts at Tiffany’s “

[quote]"That dingo took my suckling pig!"

I want it to be a Klondike bar (or a Lamington cake would be more appropiate, I assume?).

The dingo takes her baby and her snack. And she's equally upset about both.

Lmao r3

My Dinner of Andre

Leave “Simply Sarah” alone! Oh, wait, that’s Chrissy!

"Mystic Pizza" in the Julia Roberts role.

But hungry and facing the fridge full of lobsters. No-one trying to fuck her to get in the way.

Baby Boom- “I can’t have a baby. I have a lunch meeting! ... At Taco Bell. And McDonald’s. And then one at Burger King...”

Return of the Jedi. She’s the Sarlacc in the Tatooine desert, licking her lips after the fight scene.

R1 But if Chrissy would just jumped into the ocean everyone would've been saved because the big splash would empty the ocean floor.

[quote] Titanic - we wouldn’t still be having the debate about whether they could both fit on the door.

The debate would be about how she got up the gangplank.

She could be the pre-transformation Helen in "Death Become Her".

Gone with the Wind as Scarlett O'Hara. "As god is my witness, they're not going to lick me. I'm going to live through this and when it's all over I'll never go hungry again." Subsequent scenes show that she has indeed made good on that promise, too good in fact. Rhett's parting words to her was "Frankly my dear, I don't give a ham cuz bitch you ate them all"

I can see her as Little Miss Sunshine, but they’d call it Big Miss Sunshine.

The Devil Wears Prada - Crissy heads to Runway's offices for her big interview and immediately gets stuck in the revolving door. The NYFD is called in to remove her, which takes hours. Miranda is unable to enter the office doors and becomes enraged. Upon being freed, Crissy gets stuck in the turnstyle to the elevator bank.

At this time, Miranda orders she be shot and her carcass donated to a university for the study of morbid obesity.

Guess who's Coming to Dinner.. ......With Chrissy as the baked ham

GONE WITH THE WIND:

Mammy: You ain't never going to be no 48.5 inches again, Miss Scarlett

The Thighs of Laura Mars.

Basic Instinct as Catherine Tramell. Uncrossing her legs and a bat flies out.

A Placed Blocked Out from the Sun

Laurie Strode in Halloween

Chrissy cannot run for long periods of time. She stops to catch her breath, her heart beating so fast it feels like it's going to explode. Michael kills her. She does not get to appear in Halloween II, H20, Resurrection, or Halloween (2018).

Norma Rae’s 500 Pound Life

The Exorcist. The demon can't even raise her body off the bed.

The mother in What’s Eating Gilbert Grape.

Quadruple Indemnity.

The Blue Whale of Winter.

A prop from Chrissy's Mary Poppins

Showgirls, as Nomi. Nomi arrives at Las Vegas with one dream. That is to break the barrier (and a lot of chairs) the first 600-pound showgirl in Vegas history. She soon gets distracted not by the cutthroat competition from the other jealous showgirls, but by the daily buffets at different casinos. Now Nomi plans to make history as the first 800-pound showgirl in Vegas history.

Wrong Turn

The cannibal family can take a break from hunting for a while, sparing many lives, because Chrissy gives them enough food to last for weeks.

Butterfield 375

Not Without My Snackpurse!

Instead of licking the pole in R29's Showgirls, Nomi eats it.

Eating Raoul. And George. And Connie. And Brad. And Larry. And Edith.

What’s Eating Gilbert Grape

Babette's Feasts

"You ain't gettin' 81 cents from me, Rose!"

Who's Afraid of Baby Romaine?

Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri as the lead billboard.

Zero Dark 375

13 Going On 1300.

Black Swan Down

Gained in Translation

Girl, Not Interrupted from Eating

The Eating Game

“Mrs. Robinson, you’re trying to marinate me.“

Crazy Fat Ethel. No changes needed.

Moby Dick transformed into an erotic adventure.

The Dirty Baker’s Dozen.

Belly de Jour

"An Ice Cream Truck Named Desire"

Star Trek II: The Wrath of Pon

The Charles Chips Man Always Rings Twice.

"The Shape of Water"

GIVE MY DAUGHTER THE SHEETCAKE!

Jiro Dreams of Sushi......and Tempura, Cheeseburgers, Pizza, Fried Chicken, and.......

Sunset Smorgasbord

I *AM* big. It’s the portions that got small.

The Postmates Delivery Guy Always Rings 16 Times a Day

Cream zabagliones and crisp apple strudels

Cowbells and dinner bells and schnitzel with noodles

Wild Turkey glazes on buffalo wings

These are a few of my favorite things

An Unmarried Woman, obviously.

GONE WITH THE WIND

In her frantic attempt to stop Rhett from leaving , Chrissy falls down the stairs and flattens him to death .

The Wide, Wide Trailer

R61 “Frankly my dear, I don’t give a [oof]”

Hannah Ate Her Three Sisters

Color Purple as Celie

She runs to Nettie but instead of hugging her, she eats her

Like Waterboarding For Chocolate

Perfect hilariously vulgar vehicle for CM.

Norma Desmond, Sunset Boulevard:

"I AM big. It's the PORTIONS that got small"

"... All right, Mr. DeMille, I'm ready for my WIDESHOT"

Driving Miss Daisy, as Miss Daisy. Miss Daisy has a problem, she can't drive anymore due to the fact that she's too fat to fit into driver's seat. In come Hoke, a gentle black man who is hired to drive Miss Daisy around town. Another problem arises when Miss Daisy has gotten so fat she can't even fit into a car anymore. Hoke has to go the extra mile and now earn a forklift driver's permit in order to ferry Miss Daisy around town.

Crystal Allen in The Women:

Mary Haines confronts her in a Torrid dressing room.

Harriet Beale in Network. She announces she's going to eat herself to death live on air, Faye Dunaway gives her a TV show.

Alex Forrest in Fatal Attraction:

She deep-fries the bunny.

Annie Wilkes in Misery. Let's just say she isn't rearing the little pink pig for friendship..

"Thank God for Chrissy. We'll save a fortune on CGI for that Shallow Hal remake"--Unnamed Hollywood exec.

Patrick Dennis is to be raised on a strict keto diet, but Chrissy’s Auntie Mame has other ideas...

I am appalled at this thread. Although it has taken me awhile to catch my breathe from laughing so hard.

Side Dish of the Lambs Gosford Pork Looking for Mr. Saladbar

The Unfinished Dance. Instead of falling through the trap door, Chrissy gets stuck in it.

R75 Look out Patrick, Auntie Mame's gonna eat you.

If they reboot Seven, I know who will be playing the gluttony corpse!

A remake of Thinner.

Jaws. Chrissy plays the shark as a misunderstood fat bitch.

The Spy Who Loved Me. Chrissy plays the villain's submarine-swallowing oil tanker.

The Poseidon Adventure. This time there’s a happy ending as Chrissy plugs the hole in the ship with her thighs. Everyone survives!

The Bridges of Madison County

A Chorus Line, with Chrissy as the entire line. She's one singular BIG sensation.

Which of these titles works best for her:

Big

Giant

Fatso

Around Her Waist in 80 Inches

Wow. The very first fat-joke thread that doesn't strike me as funny, and very few of the posts seem clever.

I wonder why that is.

Probably because you’re fat r88.

Diner

Our Chrissy sits in a diner and eats. And eats. And eats. Eventually, the diner runs out of bacon so she eats Kevin Bacon.

Chrissy will be playing the Bo Derek part in a remake of 10, but now it will be called 100000000000000000000000000000000000

I'm fat, and this thread is hilarious!

The title role in Goldfinger. However, instead of indulging a lust for gold, the evil genius attempts to corner the global market in Twinkies.

The Ode to Billy Joe -- Chrissy follows Billy Joel onto the bridge over Choctaw Ridge and it collapses into the Tallahatchie River, killing both.

Lady in a Cage

The elevator just breaks

"The Big Fat Girl Who Lives Down The Lane"

'Ordinary People', with Chrissy in the Timothy Hutton role. She capsized the boat and Buck died trying to rescue her...he pulled her back up into the upturned boat, but then Chrissy sat on him. Buck would never be able to withstand such weight, especially out of breath already. You know that skinny bitch MTM would've judged her even more harshly than she judged poor Conrad.

Dinner at Eight. . . and Nine and Ten and Eleven

'Prizzi's Snack Purse'

With Six You Get a Dozen Eggroll

The Hindenburg

Dumbo Drop. Chrissy was the clear choice for replacing that elephant, who wants to deal with those animal rights people?

It’s a Fat, Fat, Fat, Fat, Fat World.

Homage, R68? Or straight up plagiarism?

—M. Mayerling, R57

Madame was the hugest star of them all.

There was a maharajah who came all the way from India to beg one of her silk stockings.