Let's be an episode of the 2035 reboot of Murder She Wrote

Cabot Cove is now under 10 feet of water due to sea levels rising. Reese lives in New Cabot Cove on a mountaintop.

Jessica was barren and wouldn't have a granddaughter. Grand niece maybe.

I’m old Broadway star Audi a Menzel - I’m a school chum of Jessye and I get killed in the first 10 minutes.

I am Reese’s son Deacon who has been cast as her younger boyfriend.

IDINA Menzel!!!!

God damn it!

At least it I didn’t autocorrect to Adele Dazeem.

I'm the 2-hour pilot "Death Takes a Selfie." Jessye's trip to a secluded Arizona wellness retreat goes awry when she gets entangled in the mysterious falling death of a social media influencer.

Special guest stars:

Drake Bell

Zachary Ty Brian

Lacey Chabert

Mila Kunis

Luke Schroder

and Soleil Moon Frye as "Grandma"

I'm the Outstanding Guest Emmy Nomination Angela Lansbury fails to win.

Cyborgs with human heads aren't eligible, R7.

I’m special guest star Catherine zeta-Jones. I play Jessye’s college-aged niece, and yes I will be doing my own singing and dancing in New Cabot Cove’s swanky cabaret bar.

I’m Nicolette Sheridan as the trampy, tempestuous owner of the cabaret bar who refuses to acknowledge her age. I’ll be replaced by Elaine Hendrix after one season after falling into a fireplace.

I'm the spinoff, the New Father Dowling Mysteries! Father Dowling is played by a half-cyborg/half-trans mixed race amputee.

I'm the first season finale, "The Curtain Falls For Good," about a murder that takes place at the opening of [italic]Hey, Chuck![/italic] a hip, happening new musical about the life of Charles De Gaulle. Jessye managed to get front row seats thanks to the hairdresser (Shia LeBoeuf) of Jessica's nephew Grady's first cousin once removed. When an understudy (Matthew Broderick) goes on in place of the lead (Joaquin Phoenix), Jessye goes backstage after the show to get an autograph. She gets more than that when the lead turns up dead in a dumpster outside a restaurant near the theatre. Things get even more complicated after the fact when a man (Randall Park) claims to have the same seats as Jessye but comes 30 minutes late gets denied entry, claiming Jessye's tickets are fraudulent. No one working at the theater believes him. Also starring: Kristin Chenoweth, Jonathan Groff, April Lerman, Bryce Dallas Howard (a last-minute substitute for Jessica Chastain), Garrett Clayton, and Whoopi Goldberg.

I'm Blue Ivy, I play Jet, the sassy daughter. of the Mayor of New Cabot Cove, ocasional guest star, my real mom, Beyonce Musk. I have a wild streak, but I'm about to join the police academy and help Jessye solve some crimes!

I’m the complaints from viewers that every case is solved by watching the omnipresent surveillance files. What’s the point?

I'm Jessye's friend Kaydenleigh Caldecott from back when she designed boots and not handbags. I'm portrayed by Winona Ryder in a tour de force portrayal of a wealthy online shoe magnate whose millennial kids (Jaden Smith, Bella Thorne, Bella Hadid) are fighting and murdering over her video taped will. Everyone laughs at this ancient technology, cripes, she never got used to Holorecording. Was I murdered too? Stay plugged in to find out!

Beyonce Musk is a wonderful name.

I'm the 30 second explanation of why the Cell Satellites in the area aren't working to counter r14. Sometimes I'm communist freedom fighters from Vermont, once I was The Asteroid and there was the time the suspect played by a still dashing Ryan Reynolds was an old technophobe who didn't even have FaceGoogTwitbyCocaCola account. Not once in his whole life! So unrealistic. Luckily Jessye is old friends with Tom from Myspace and he was able to dig up an old one from Ryan's emo days. How hilarious are those bangs!?

I'm President Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, doing the traditional Presidential Cameo which started with President Trump during his second term when he visited The Big Brother House to judge a bikini contest. My cameo is a little more informative, I'm here to tell everyone that the new Polio Third Wave vaccine is not made from radioactive Martian waste sludge and is perfectly safe. If we want to contain polio again, we all need a vaccination.

I'm Bruce Jenner, my odd facial appearance is explained away by a bomb in Ho Chi Minh City when I was in the Vietnam war. It's rude to mention my re-re-re-transitioning. Bobby McFerrin and Richard Dean Anderson play the last living members of my old platoon and we're fighting over a stolen golden Buddha that we looted near Danang.

I'm the intermittent cameos Reese gives down-and-out Ryan Phillippe, so he can keep his SAG insurance. (Fun fact: Lansbury used to do this for her old Hollywood friends on 'Murder, She Wrote'). Ryan will alternately play a hobo, a slum lord, and a gambling addict.

I'm your Gen X mom sitting on the couch eating Low Carb Potato Chips, adjusting the heat on her vibrating water belt for her back pain and explaining that this episode is particularly funny because it has some people named Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez and they used to date and be called Jennifer. Yawn who cares, they're both fat and he has the darting eyes of a Bliss addict. He's too old to be doing Bliss.

I'm Johnny Depp, I play a stroke a victim from The Coronavirus 6th Wave. My only line is "If everyone would wear a mask for 2 months, this would all go away." It only took 26 takes and two bottles of vodka.

I'm Ivanka Trump and I play with myself in front of the other inmates at Bedford Hills Correctional Facility for a chance at a few packs of Ramen Noodles. I don't watch this new Murder She Wrote anymore after I wouldn't shut up about how I used to date Topher Grace and how silly his hair plugs look. The other gals thought I was being a real add on, which if I understand their slang, means a bit of a braggart. I can't help it, it's in my blood!

[Quote] Stay plugged in to find out!

😍😍😍

I’m Liz Gilies, here to snark out every line in my recurring role as the bitchy, big-boobed frenemy from the past.

We have officially run out of things to discuss on DL

I’m Reese’s tits, which make occasional cameo appearances. There are no broadcast standards in 2035, as there are no longer broadcast networks.

I'm Olivia de Havilliand, still alive at 119, and making a guest appearance as a wealthy denizen of Cabot Cove.

Jessica investigates when she suspects there was more to my passing than that swarm of killah beeees.

I'm Glenn Close and Meryl Streep doing a Whatever Happened to Baby Jane inspired episode. DL is losing its everloving mind.

I'm Dame Helen Mirren, still alive and sinning at 90. If the Director demands it I'll certainly flash my majestic titties, just to help with the ratings of course! Do you know I'm an Oscar winner?

R27 Reese has tits?

Reese and everyone else have tits after that male pattern baldness drug caused tit embiggening as a side effect. Embiggening is perfectly cromulent word as The Simpsons celebrates its 46th season. RIP Hank Azaria.

I am the hot mechanic at the flying car garage that gets falsely accused of murdering my male muscle robot lover with a laser oven that I supposedly rewired, but my alibi of being in the simulator oil wresting with Hulk Hogan is suspect when the National Peace for All men tell me Microsoft's satellite server farm on Mars was not operational that day, as they found Elon Musk's corpse jammed between a two fusion pulse poles, so Jessica Fletcher is on my case and the first suspect is my robot lover's electromagnetic squat rack.

I question the premise. JB Fletcher did not have children. And given the actual ages and dates involved, this person would have to be Grady Fletcher's granchild.

Reese's grandparents would be Angela Lansbury's age, because she's from Tennessee and we already talked about Jessica's bareness in the first post.

I’m the season 2 premiere set at Universal Studios Hollywood: “Director’s Cut.” Jessye is in Los Angeles having to take care of her niece Thelma and nephew Lionel for two weeks, and since Disney won’t let them use their IP despite needing the money after being broken up for violating antitrust laws, Universal Studios it is. The episode, which revolves around a director (Henry Thomas) of an upcoming blockbuster found slumped over dead in one of the carriages in the E.T. ride while the film is still in post-production, is filled with all sorts of easter egg references to classic Alfred Hitchcock movies and classic Universal mystery dramas. Security cameras show the killer was wearing a Woody Woodpecker costume at the time, which leads to a false arrest of the guy in the suit (Kadeem Hardison), who maintains his innocence.

Special guest stars: Mackenzie Astin (with an amusing scene of him carrying a garbage pail), Jonah Hill, Hillary Duff, Sutton Foster, and Yeardley Smith.

I'm Apple Paltrow my mom and I guest star as spa owning sisters who stumble upon a plot turn foot shavings into high end Llama food.

[quote]Special guest stars: Mackenzie Astin

Ooh. Angie's Ghost will curse the production.

I'm assuming it was Jessica who couldn't have children because in the Season Seven episode "Thursday's Child" (for which Angela was robbed of an Emmy) Jessica almost believes that her beloved Frank fathered a child with another woman.

[quote]we already talked about Jessica's bareness in the first post.

OMG -- she was NAKED?

The female body is beautiful and should be caressed!

I'm the episode entitled "Death is a Drag." In it, Jessye is in Provincetown with some gay male friends from college (Chad Allen, Glenn Scarpelli) who are now married. After she goes with them to a drag show, she goes to the bathroom to find the star of the show, Charmian deToilette (Nolan Gould), hanging by his feathered boa. Jessye finds a suicide note, but the Sheriff (Raven-Symoné) takes it to a handwriting analyst (Noal Galvin) who finds it a forgery. They can't match it to anyone in particular, but they prove that it isn't his. When it is revealed that Charmian, whose real name was Jacob Skatowicz, used to be the lover of one of Jessye's friends, the friend is arrested. It's up to Jessye to prove him innocent. At the club, while looking for exonerating evidence, Jessye finds a handwritten letter by a local MTF transactivist and wannabe actress named Shirley Beavers (Billy Porter) that happens to match it pretty well. She takes it to the police and gets arrested herself and booked on hate crimes charges for being a TERF. Then, she is dragged out into the public square and called "TERF! TERF! TERF!" by the public. They also find as many copies of Jessica Fletcher's books as they can and threaten to burn them and burn her alive over the pyre unless she says "trans women are women" out loud 100 times. When she refuses, they are about to carry out a sentence when a voice from the distance cries "Stop! She's innocent and I have proof!" It's Shirley Beavers making a tear-stained confession that is sure to get Billy another Emmy nomination for Outstanding Guest Actress in a Dramatic Series.