Why are people so afraid of death?

Believers think they're going to be punished for their behavior on earth

Have the joy last....

Depends on the type of death. Some types are worse than others. I’m not afraid of death itself though.

Death is so hard to live with.

Because nothing happens on the other side, full stop, kaput!

No one wants to die. Think how cheap real estate would be if everyone who had ever wished they were dead were dead. Being dead? That's for holy rollers and crazy people to worry about; it's only the dying part that's objectionable.

I think it's primal.

Humans are in a strange position. Millions of years of evolution have instilled within us -- as in all species -- an ironclad survival instinct. Our bodies exist every moment with the sole purpose of keeping us alive. This is why, according to psychologists like Thomas Joiner, it is actually quite difficult to commit suicide, and several different factors have to be present in the same person in order to kill themselves.

But all those years of evolution also provided us with the cognitive abilities to recognize that our own death is inevitable. No matter how hard we fight to stay alive, no matter how many of those millions of years of evolution work to keep us living, we know the outcome of our trajectory. What other species can claim that?

I think when these two factors come together the human fear of death emerges.

"I mean what's on the other side can't be worse than this shitshow of humanity."

Send us a card when you get there darling, to let us know.

TIA. XOXO and so forth.

People are afraid of the unknown. No one knows for sure what happens to us when we die. If it could be 100% scientifically proven that there is an afterlife and that our souls all go to a happy place the fear would be wiped away for most.

I am afraid of the manner in which I'll die, because it's unknown. And I'm sad knowing that I'll never see any of the people I love again. I mean, I won't be on the other side missing them because there's nothing. I won't exist. But the thought of permanent goodbye saddens me.

[quote]what's on the other side can't be worse than this shitshow of humanity

You lack imagination.

Ancient peoples could not understand nothingness and created an afterlife.

Unfortunately religion uses this as a control tactic on this side of the nothing.

Miss Will, bitches:

To die, to sleep;

To sleep: perchance to dream: ay, there’s the rub;

For in that sleep of death what dreams may come

When we have shuffled off this mortal coil,

Must give us pause: there’s the respect

That makes calamity of so long life;

For who would bear the whips and scorns of time,

The oppressor’s wrong, the proud man’s contumely,

The pangs of despised love, the law’s delay,

The insolence of office and the spurns

That patient merit of the unworthy takes,

When he himself might his quietus make

With a bare bodkin? who would fardels bear,

To grunt and sweat under a weary life,

But that the dread of something after death,

The undiscover’d country from whose bourn

No traveller returns, puzzles the will

And makes us rather bear those ills we have

Than fly to others that we know not of?

Thus conscience does make cowards of us all;

And thus the native hue of resolution

Is sicklied o’er with the pale cast of thought,

And enterprises of great pith and moment

With this regard their currents turn awry,

And lose the name of action.

[quote]I mean what's on the other side can't be worse than this shitshow of humanity.

Once you're gone, the world will be better, but then the other side is now contaminated.

I’m not afraid of death, and I have potentially terminal cancer, so that’s just as well.

Just fear of the complete unknown and or/fear of supposed judgement.

I am not the least bit afraid of death itself – but I am terrified of lingering suffering near my end.

Dying is easy it’s living that scares me to death.

It's stupid, it's gonna happen and happens to everyone so why be frightened?

[quote]And I'm sad knowing that I'll never see any of the people I love again. I mean, I won't be on the other side missing them because there's nothing. I won't exist

& how do you know there's "nothing" Mary?

Of course there's something or there'd be no meaning to anything.

[quote]Because nothing happens on the other side, full stop, kaput!

WRONG

R19 what a fun fantasy that is! Tell Santa we said hello.

[quote]Tell Santa we said hello.

WE Troll - ALERT!! 🚨🚨🚨

I'm very afraid of the act of dying. Being dead has taken all too long to arrive. I've been pretty unlucky since I was a boy suffering from deep depression from when I was very young and having parents who were angry at me for it and never ceased yelling at me and telling me how horrible I was. This of course sent up a life of dominoes going down so I've never been able to gain a grasp on a handle of even simple pleasure. I live alone in a very small section 8 apartment with no friends or family. Do I want a bloody death of slicing my throat, shooting myself, drowning or jumping off of a bridge or a building? Go through the agony of poisoning myself? No I want Dr. assisted suicide. Fortunately I believe in nothing after death. Imagine seeing relatives in the afterlife? I cannot imagine anything more unpleasant or macabre.

Sorry R23. I myself am not fearful about death it' the death of others that concern me.

I'm afraid of dying alone and not being found for weeks. Or something happening and I can't call for help and languish until I finally expire.

Actual death doesn't scare me though. Just the pain and fear that may come before.

[quote]Imagine seeing relatives in the afterlife? I cannot imagine anything more unpleasant or macabre.

Only people you LOVE appear.

because all the fun stops and most of what leads up to it is also not very much fun

I often wonder this too. For all we know, it's so much better on the other side. We get to see friends and relatives again, sex with no STDs, no humidity.

[quote]Nothing but a breath, a comma separates life from life everlasting. Very simple, really. With the original punctuation restored Death is no longer something to act out on a stage with exclamation marks. It is a comma. A pause. In this way, the uncompromising way one learns something from the poem, wouldn’t you say? Life, death, soul, God, past present. Not insuperable barriers. Not semi-colons. Just a comma.

What R1 said.

I look forward to being reunited with my beloved cats, who are waiting patently for my arrival.

Here’s a long answer. Don’t read it if you don’t want to. I am not responsible for you choosing to read my diatribe, nor do I give one flying fuck about your critiques. LOL, but no LOL, because I really DGAF about your complaints. TL; DR? Then move the fuck on BEFORE choosing to read it. That’s your choice to do so, yes?

Because they’re control freaks?

Because they’ve been brainwashed into believing some really bad, really harmful beliefs, based on a paradigm of shame, non acceptance of themselves and others, fir the purposes of establishing fear?

Because they’re highly adverse to risk, exploration of different and even uncomfortable ideas, coupled with an inability to admit that there are things that no one, including themselves, have definitive answers to?

Because they’re unwilling let go of concepts such as being deserving of material possessions, or even basic and fundamental necessities, such as food, clean water, and humane, appropriate shelter, without correlation of those things as merit based, and hence believe that homelessness and poverty, are caused by the individuals who are experiencing states of homelessness and poverty, due to not being capable enough to live lives which grant them protections all humans should access, regardless of physical and mental health attributes?

Because they move goal posts for themselves, yet never offer this charitable exercise in compassion to those who are worse off than them, and claim that the reasons that they are not homeless is because Jesus love them and has therefore, “favored” them, over a homeless woman living in a car with her two small children? Based on NOTHING but hubris, arrogance, and pride?

Or how about the possibilities, that they’re just shitty people when the rubber meets the road, not because they are afraid of dying, but because they’re afraid of living, as living authentic lives, requires taking FULL responsibility for one’s own actions and the fucked up thoughts that form those actions, which require a person to have a willingness to perform self assessments repeatedly throughout an entire life span, which requires an honest person to admit that they’re shitty people, and then change for the better... just because it’s the right thing to do-no prizes or gifts to be collected as a result?

Or how about, most people who fear death, came from highly dysfunctional homes, and the process of untangling ideologies based on emotional, physical, sexual, and mental abuse, is something that is much too difficult and complex to untangle and eventually, discard, as it’s a pretty painful and grueling process?

And finally, we circle back to what it means to be brave enough to admit that we need help, as a result of these fucked up ideologies forced upon us and formed like a shit brick house, in which we were placed, without our consent, and the idea of consent, is even scarier than death, as it again means that unfortunately, we MUST take responsibility for who we are, even if someone else broke and shattered us into unrecognizable pieces, unfairly, yet nevertheless, the responsibility of self help and self enlightenment toward becoming our own versions of who we are, is just too overwhelming and terrifying for most?

Admitting powerlessness and simultaneously accepting responsibility for one’s own personal development and hence, choosing to remain self aware in order to choose one outcome over the other, is an unfair and almost insurmountable mountain to climb. It takes lots of courage to admit we do not know what we do not know, and still find the genuine motivation within ourselves, to challenge the concept that somehow we should know, and now miraculously, we do! We respond easily and even naturally, to self imposed tyranny, because we reject that at a certain point, what and who broke us as children, are no longer running the show, and neither is anyone or anything else, but OURSELVES.

Cont. from R32-

When a man or a woman attempt to resolve exactly what these implications are, they either become justifiably enraged, or they become unjustifiably passive. Unfortunately, these mind states are both polarized extremes, yet they both result in almost identical emotional outcomes and perspectives:: denial and fear. Both of those extremes that uphold denial and fear, cause people to submit to almost anything and anyone, as long as they do not have to submit to themselves. Because submitting to one’s self, AGAIN , indicates that one is responsible for not only one’s own thoughts and actions, but one is also responsible for addressing and defining what one’s own purpose is. What makes life worth living despite pain? Why is this meaningful at all, and how does one define such a densely complicated path, when one marches to the ultimate quest in order to answer a series of questions, that in and of themselves , are sometimes cruel and absurd:

Why the fuck am I here? Why do I even exist? What’s the fucking point?

Courage is found when one admits to one’s self and even others, the truth. And the truth is that you don’t know any of these answers to any of these questions, and neither does the preacher behind the pulpit at church, nor the greatest philosophers, nor do the greatest scientific minds of the past or present, nor does the Pope, the Catholic Church, or the evangelical church. And guess what? The Jews and their God in the Torah, also do not know. Allah and Mohammed are equally clueless, as is any government, or the highest institutions of thought and learning, or an AI or super computer, or any assholes giving you the “news”, or “alternative facts”. The answers will NOT be found at the bottom of a bottle of the finest wine or scotch. Mushrooms, LSD, and DMT will be interesting, yet offer zero answers, as will ketamine, Wellbutrin, Xanax, or fentanyl. Primo blow and smack are probably really fun for a minute, but they offer nothing but more habitual mind states to unravel, and cause anything from psychological to physical dependency, and lead you to nothing but bankruptcy or an untimely death. Rehab will offer you barely and almost nothing but a place to dry out, and conversely, achieving financial success via a successful career and shit like becoming a mom or a dad, even a wonderful one, will NOT yield anything when it comes to true meaning and purpose, as kids grow up and begin their journey as independent beings, and will disappoint or excel or both.

I, personally, have no idea why I’m here. And I sure as fuck haven’t a clue as to why you are, either. But I know this much, and granted, I know pretty much almost nothing, and what that sliver of knowledge is, is that I do not have to know, and that I can accept it, admit, and I can respect you, someone independent of myself, whether you’re my child or my parent, or a stranger, enough to NOT pretend that I do know, and then force something upon you, because I’m not willing to allow you to ask yourself these questions, and come to your own conclusions.

Admitting we know almost nothing, means being faced with the important question of “If I know nothing and this is all meaningless, what kind of person do I CHOOSE to be, when I engage with YOU?

Cont. from R33 -

Will I be a racist when I see your skin color? Will I throw stones at you when I discover you are a lesbian or gay? Will I assert legal control over what you choose to do with your body? Will I look at you in disgust when I see you shitting your pants on the street and sleeping on a bus bench? Will I fear you when I see that you are walking down the street behind me, and happen to be black and 6 foot 7? Will I ridicule your obesity,? Will I blame you for crossing the border from Mexico, in order to survive and feed your children? Will I steal your land or feel entitled to what little you have left, when your federally protected land becomes highly profitable when you open up a casino? Will I even open up a casino in order to exploit others? Or will I choose to open up something else that renders me of average income, in order to help others?

Will I choose to do the right thing? Or will I choose to inflict harm upon others, as it’s all potentially meaningful and meaningless, all at once?

You have to choose. Choosing a god or hedonistic pursuits, are not actual choices, as you surrender personal responsibility and ownership of your faculties, as a result. The bottom line is that you always choose. There is no puppet master behind a curtain. You will not go to heaven or hell when choosing. There is no list, and there is no punishment or reward at the end of the game. If you break the law of the land, you are judged according to the law of the land, and become a ward of the penitentiary, or are sentenced to the chair. Either way, you usually have to make choices to get there, and unjustly, sometimes you end up there, and do not deserve to.

The only perceived control we have is how we choose to treat ourselves and others. Everything else is an illusion. It is whatever you construct it to be. And that doesn’t absolve you of responsibility, nor does accepting responsibility give you power over the unknown, which is death.

Bottom line? You, and ONLY YOU, are responsible for how you choose to live your life. God will not forgive you, nor will he punish you or reward you. Satan is not responsible for your crimes or shitty choices, and his demons have not possessed you when you do the wrong thing.

All of it, and I mean ALL of it, is on YOU. Your choices, your outcomes and results. Accept responsibility for this thing called life. Understand that if you do not, you risk living in fear. You risk losing true freedom, and you risk the ability to evolve, and become who YOU choose to be, not who someone else tells you to become.

That’s what becoming an adult is all about. Accepting responsibility for one’s self and one’s actions rendering consequences, here on this planet, while we breathe in and out. If you’re unwilling to consider this paradigm, that you are responsible for yourself and the welfare of others by not actively choosing to harm for no reason other than not desiring to do so, then those possibilities of growth and evolution, dwindle rapidly, and offers the life lived as a coward, who ran from themselves, because they denied themselves the honor of living an ethical life as the only reward offered, just because that’s more than enough.

Why am I not afraid of death? Because it is my destiny no matter what I choose to believe or how I choose to live. I have accepted its inevitability, and this is the ONLY thing I am not responsible for, as it is not a choice.

But everything else?

It’s ALL on me, and I’m pretty comfortable with understanding this, as it is the only thing that I’ve learned so far, that has any real value or meaning.

I am responsible. That is all.

Is it over yet?

If there is anything after death you are very unlikely to have any realization of a prior life than you do now.

Most people are afraid of how they are going to meet their demise. If we all just died peacefully in our sleep I think there would be less fear surrounding it. Some are definitely afraid of what happens after. They have a belief in some sort of Hell and/or Purgatory. There is also a fear of nothingness. It seems irrational, but not being alive is a scary thought to some. The void is a scary thought. Reincarnation also scares some. Suppose we actually DO come back in some capacity. What will you be the next time around? Who might you be? It’s the unknown that is terrifying.

We fear it because we are biologically designed to. Being human is a pain in the ass because we are cognizant of our mortality in a way that no other species is. I remember as a child being floored by the fact that one day, I would die, as would everyone I know—all my family and my friends, gone. I was hyperaware of death from a young age because I was born with a heart defect, and I understood as a young kid that it would kill me. Later, in my early twenties, I had cancer, and at 30, finally had open-heart surgery, and seeing the other side of those experiences helped me get over my fear of dying. It doesn't scare me anymore. I am not religious, but I'm also not an atheist—I think whatever happens after death is beyond our understanding, and that part of being human is to face that crisis. Religions are all just interpretations of the intangible, all reaching for the same thing. And even if there is nothing after death, you wouldn't be aware of it anyway—but I am unconvinced by that.

This culture of keeping very old people alive with operations and pills is part of it.

R9 nails it!

Many just fear the unknown. If there was any sort of absolute concrete proof of what happens after death perhaps more wouldn't fear the Grim Reaper.

Death is a dreamless sleep. Dying is what I'm afraid of.

[quote]the Grim Reaper.

why should it be BAD?

[quote]Death is a dreamless sleep.

Fantastic!

End of thread.

I’m not. I just hope Christ accepts my flawed self into the pearly gates.

R44 lol yep - he'll be waiting there with hugs, and a robe, and some cool slippers!

He'd better have a cool drink for me as well. Dying is hard.

I’m afraid of dying alone, but not of dying. It’s odd to think that one day you won’t be here, but at the same time, everyone dies. It’s the only guarantee you have in life.

[quote]I’m not. I just hope Christ accepts my flawed self into the pearly gates.

apparently he's the nicest guy you'll ever meet - maybe you didn't get the memo.

don't fear the Reaper

My dad is a smart guy and an atheist, but boy, is he afraid of dying (he's 86). He had a blood pressure spike and made me take him to the hospital and he was frightened out of his mind, checking the monitor every minute, repeating things, I'd never seen him in that state before. I'm the opposite, if I was told I had a fatal disease, I'd be like, "great, don't have to work or worry about retirement anymore"!

Honestly I don't think anyone knows how they'll react until they're at that point. Think of Lord Marchmain in Brideshead Revisited.

I'd like to think I will be unafraid and serene. But who the fuck knows.

OP sounds fun!!!

^ lol

she lights up the room by leaving it

People who live more in the moment tend to have less of this fear. I used to think it was just the young and foolish who did that, but as I've gotten older, I've realized it's the only way to go through life without breaking down a few times every day. Everything is temporary - even pain.

I do feel there's something else out there. I'm not sure what it is, but I'm almost positive there's another reality or universe or whatever where we go after this life. I've seen a few dead relatives moments after they've passed away and their bodies always look like someone's discarded Halloween costume with no one underneath. All that life, personality, and energy has to go somewhere else.

'To die is different from what anyone supposed, and luckier.'

A long-since deceased friend once said to me of death, "It must be pretty special since it's saved until the very last."

[quote] Of course there's something or there'd be no meaning to anything.

Why does there have to be any meaning whatsoever?

How long is this thread?

You Live - You fuck up - You Die..... that's it