The Datalounge House of Lords

I nominate Miranda Priestly, a master of fashion, class and decor. And could read a person to filth like no other.

I nominate Tyne OConnell, Author, Historian of Eccentricity awarded "MOST ECCENTRIC BRITISH THINKER" by HRH Prince Philip of Eccentrics Club founder of Mayfair Eccentrics (.com).

Aristo admiration is so toady. At least Madonna's actual crotch fruit now has a name for her shitty fashun label.

La Lawson, of course. Talent, a big mouth, and that hard inner core.

I nominate the "Proud CB Frau" as you people need someone to come in every so often to pitch a real bitch for entertainment purposes.

I nominate Lisa Beamer.

Any thoughtful governing body needs someone with an entrepreneurial spirit.

Take your meds, dear. Then go do something productive.

Nominee for Minister of Glamour and Mystique.

Ministers of Filial Love and Beautiful Foreskin

I nominate our beloved orange Führer, ahem, leader, and his wife, Vairst Letty.

R10 Denied, girlfriend.

Governing body? What do you mean “governing?” This ain’t no democracy or even a constitutional monarchy. It’s a dictatorship.

Viva Muriel!

I, for, one, celebrate our mercurial overlord.

I nominate Aline Griffith, Countess of Romanones. A looker, socialite, writer and a spy. Plus, the spouse of a Grandee of Spain.

Shouldn't it be House of Lards?

Ministry of Impatience and Hissing: Ms. Peggy Gravel

Liza, Ministry of Dance

I think the House of Lords needs some Karen representation.

There are no ministries or ministers in the House of Lords, ignoramuses.

Lady Colin Campbell to chair the Intelligence Committee.

"There are no ministries or ministers in the House of Lords, ignoramuses."

There are in the Datalounge House of Lords, r18. And they validate parking.

Mother Pence, r17.

R20 Such a Common thought, unworthy of the Lords. We are just fabulous and do not soil our gloves with work. Go back down to the scullery, wench.

Adam Lambert

If we're going to have lords, I think it should be a requirement that they are totally hot.

Are we bringing back droit du seigneur as well?

I nominate Lizsha. Do I need to say why?

Princess Michael of Kunt

Please make the space for me!

Betty Broderick, DL's NRA first lady.

You already made the space -between your legs.

Whores are welcome but not trash. Go away Melania. Shoo.

Paula Deen as Chair of the Home Economy Committee

The only whore welcome here is You're A Whore, Darlin'.

No other whores allowed

Cher, and no menial committees for Her Fabulousness please, thank you very much.

Olivia De Havilland.

The eloquent Lady G

Does anyone support my nomination of Dame Elton John?

I'm available for a leadership position.

Kanye West ... because his wife is 'officially' a bejillionnaire.

I'm here for all your bathroom needs.

Posh Spice for services to haute-couture.

Question: if I nominate someone, can she serve while living in L.A.?

Vivian Vance, DL's spiritual leader.

I nominate DL's favorite New Year's hostess, Bea Benaderet.

Vairst Letty as leader of the opposition

No.

Fucking.

Vairst.

Letty.

No Trumps, at all, ever. Period.

Besty de Floss as char-woman-in-chief

No grifter scum please. Do we really need to spell it out r44.

Tiffany Trump as Keeper of the Mace

What part of NO TRUMPS are we not getting, folks?

These are people we'd actually like to be around, for the most part, or that we admire.

I think Mimi needs to be in it. She's contributed so much to this place.

Jared as Official DL House of Lords Eunuch

I wouldn't hire Jared as a piss boy.

I nominate Joan Van Ark for the Ministry of Hot Messes and official make-up artists to the queens.

Trigglypuff, as the grandmother of Cancel Culture.

Ivana Trump, doyen of glittery fashion, ironic hauteur, horrible taste in men, and relentless bitchery.

Miss Shawn Mendes, as Chairgurl of the Arts Committee, and Member of the Bearding Intelligence Committee

Martha Stewart will be Baroness Stewart of Camp Cupcake in charge of Taxes for Little People.

hahaha

ALT, as Honorary Member for Fabulosity and Shade

Alan Dershowitz becomes The Lord Lolita-Express VIP for services to industrial-strength scumbags like Leona H.

Lord Rothschild begs to retire.

What about a House of Ladies?

Lady Lindsey of Much-Hadover will be the DL House of Lords Convener of the Gentlemen Callers Society and custodian of the House of Lords Fainting Couch.

The Organizer

Must have beautiful, eloquent women with gorgeous legs.

I am just wondering if we could appoint Lord Sewell our token hetero in the DL HoL for adding to the gaiety of the nation.

I knew a girl who would've been a member. But then she died.

[quote] Then the peer moans to the women about having to make do with what he claimed was a daily attendance allowance of £200. At this, one of the prostitutes, outraged, exclaims: ‘What? £200 just for having lunch?’ To which Sewel retorts: ‘It’s not for having lunch, lovey darling, it’s paying for this.’ By which he presumably meant her fee, rather than the cocaine he appears to offer the woman.

Priceless. He has to be DL House of Lords anti-sleaze committee chairman and president for life: he knows a lot about sleaze so should do us all proud.

An awkward moment overheard in the receiving line at the DL House of Lords:

HARRY: You do know my wife (GESTURES TO MEGHAN) does Joyce Bulifant impressions?

MURIEL: Ah, I did not know that.

HARRY: You seem surprised. She's really interested in Eldergay pop culture, the more obscure, the better. She’d be a great addition to the DL House of Lords.

MURIEL: We'd love to try. That's a great idea.

Of course we forget Queen Muriel: she appears rarely in the DL House; when she appears there is usually much kerfuffle and she makes a speech then leaves again. Quite confusing sometimes, esp as she often delivers the speech with such a lack of conviction for some reason.

Somers Farkas as the head nutritionist and expert on melanin.

Having diversity would be a plus.

Think what Diamond & Silk would bring.

A House of Lords needs some hereditary members, limited in number (say three to start). We can select them: who do you want to go on an on and on through their progeny in the DL HoL? R69 We could start with Archewell but he would need a guardian during his minority: Doria perhaps? I say this as the Harkles have had a very significant impact on DL indeed. If you wish to appoint Meghz In Her Own Right, you will need to suggest a suitable DL HoL title (not Sussex, not Dumbarton): any suggestions?

Angela Lansbury, of course.

Yes Pierre, agreed. It is customary with a nomination to state the reason, eg "For services to ..."

I am the first to say womyn are underrepresented in government, and positions of power. But even I am wondering if we need more male nominees (?)

If only we hadn’t lost that newscaster in that terrible Days Inn/Disco Lights/Meth Mask/Massage Table mixup.

Little lord Wesley Crusher for services to the gayling that I was when I wanted Wesley to be my first, one and only boyfriend forever.

Christmas Moose has already been awarded the Most Noble Order of the Garter by Queen Elizabeth for services to Canadians and citizens of certain overseas territories. He’s got the blue sash, and everything.

R25 I musht decline the nominashun. I never leave the housh anymore.

Beshides, I have better waysh to waysht my time.

Who will be on the DataLounge House of Lords next Honor List and for what reason will said person receive such high honor?

I am your queen. I do stand guard. I refuse to allow that interloper with the appropriate nickname of D.T.'s into MY castle.

I am the baroness responsible for getting rid of all children.

I am Mrs. Harriett Olsen, the Countess of Communication. I will reveal all in "Harriett's Happening's". Those who are mentioned will get a 10% discount at Nellie's, the establishment of my daughter countess to be.

Patsy and Eddy to lead the Drinkies and Nibbles effort.

Baroness Monsoon of Shepherd's Bush

Chairwoman of Musical Comedy

Supreme Lord

Court Jester Louie

I nominate the tantra godess seeking Trump moron.

I should have been QUEEN!. Not that damned Scottish bitch.

Fuck off, peasants. We have real titles. We're royal.

Hitler called that Scotch Bitch, "The Most Dangerous Woman in Europe." Thankfully we have her rather than Wallis who was a collaborator.

R91 They are still HRH, even in CA.

Holland Park! Holland Park!

[quote]I wouldn't hire Jared as a piss boy.

And I wouldn't piss on him if his hair were on fire, r52.

Countess of Oddbins in the County of Fulham