I'm the disclaimer that I am just here for friends and fun as I'm already engaged to my best friend and the love of my life. I can't host.
Let's be a hookup app profile
|by Anonymous||reply 407||13 hours ago|
I'm the white headless torso with the screen name BLACK LIVES MATTER.
|by Anonymous||reply 1||07/12/2020|
^^^ But you posted an ass pic instead of your face, and you have three dick pics in your profile.
|by Anonymous||reply 2||07/12/2020|
I'm the guy whose only photos are awkward selfies.
|by Anonymous||reply 3||07/12/2020|
I'm an ISFJ but it doesn't matter.
|by Anonymous||reply 4||07/12/2020|
I’m the random, usually low quality, photo of something like a forest or a mountain in place of a photo.
Beware. I am worse than a blank profile pic.
|by Anonymous||reply 5||07/12/2020|
I'm 57 and post my real pics.
|by Anonymous||reply 6||07/12/2020|
I'm deleting this app soon, don't don't worry, soon is 2032.
|by Anonymous||reply 7||07/12/2020|
i'm the fag hag who didn't approve of her night club selfie being used to get her gay bestie laid
|by Anonymous||reply 8||07/12/2020|
I'm the admission that I don't bite (unless you are into that lol).
|by Anonymous||reply 9||07/13/2020|
|by Anonymous||reply 10||07/14/2020|
I'm the five years shaved off my actual age.
|by Anonymous||reply 11||07/14/2020|
hilarious thread as I am having just a dreadful time on theses apps after a 15 year absence(lots has changed)
|by Anonymous||reply 12||07/14/2020|
I'm the local guy with the same profile you've been seeing since 2003 on Gay.com. It's 2020 and it's now my Grindr pic.
|by Anonymous||reply 13||07/14/2020|
And I, r11, am the 20 pounds shaved.
|by Anonymous||reply 14||07/14/2020|
I’m the picture of a thong bulge with that title, NO HOOKUPS!
|by Anonymous||reply 15||07/14/2020|
I state I am “easy going” and “down to earth”, and then proceed to list a hundred things and types of people I am NOT into so don’t even ask!!!!
|by Anonymous||reply 16||07/14/2020|
I am a massage student giving free massages for my internship hours/practice and I just need you to make a “donation” for the massage oil
|by Anonymous||reply 17||07/14/2020|
I am Accra, Ghana. I have invaded A4A
|by Anonymous||reply 18||07/14/2020|
I’m just here to make friends but WILL NOT RESPOND to profiles without a photo!
|by Anonymous||reply 19||07/14/2020|
I’m the race/ethnicity filters that can’t be used any more. I’m lonely.
|by Anonymous||reply 20||07/14/2020|
My profile pic is me holding up the peace sign, but "not into Whites, Blacks, Mexicans, Asians, or Spaniards. we all have our own preferences!"
|by Anonymous||reply 21||07/14/2020|
I'm 5700 miles. That's the distance between
|by Anonymous||reply 22||07/14/2020|
I want to know why it’s so hard to just meet a nice guy (translation: a hot guy who’s way out my league that puts up with all my drama)
|by Anonymous||reply 23||07/14/2020|
I’m the guy with no pictures in my profile. The profile itself has limited information. But I start by demanding you send me additional pics.
|by Anonymous||reply 24||07/14/2020|
I'm the angry screed about all the shallow, hateful fags what done me wrong before!!! Paired with a glaring selfie that looks like a mug shot.
|by Anonymous||reply 25||07/14/2020|
I'm happily married, partnered and on PREP
|by Anonymous||reply 26||07/14/2020|
I’m the same 5 “odd ducks” in your area who are always on 24/7 “looking”
|by Anonymous||reply 27||07/14/2020|
I’m the guy dressed like a street hooker from Blade Runner talking about how “they” don’t identify as a man or a woman because labels are for clothing.
|by Anonymous||reply 28||07/14/2020|
I'm the one good picture you took 10 years ago at a friend's wedding with all the others in the photo cropped out profile pic.
|by Anonymous||reply 29||07/14/2020|
I’m the torso profile pic with the line “no face pic, no chat.”
|by Anonymous||reply 30||07/14/2020|
I'm the TOP ONLY showing only my ass.
|by Anonymous||reply 31||07/14/2020|
Maybe you’re looking for a “top only,” r31?
|by Anonymous||reply 32||07/14/2020|
I'm on PREP. Code for bareback slut
|by Anonymous||reply 33||07/14/2020|
I’m “versatile,” which means I’m actually a bottom. I’m the reason the whole schema is messed up.
Bottom= trans man
Versatile bottom= total bottom
Top= versatile bottom
Total top= versatile top
Bisexual= gay, but a total top
|by Anonymous||reply 34||07/14/2020|
I’m the complete lack of distance. I’m so scared to show you how close we are that I could be 5 feet or 5 miles.
|by Anonymous||reply 35||07/14/2020|
I’m the profile photo with two or three guys in it. Guess which one is me!
|by Anonymous||reply 36||07/14/2020|
I’m the woman in the photo with black squiggly lines all over her face. Don’t tell me.
|by Anonymous||reply 37||07/14/2020|
I’m the 68-year-old white man wearing sexy lady panties! You likely???
|by Anonymous||reply 38||07/14/2020|
I'm the profile with only a series of face shots. That's because the bottom half of me cannot be captured in one frame.
|by Anonymous||reply 39||07/14/2020|
I'm the line you should move to the front of if you meet my exacting criteria for companionship.
|by Anonymous||reply 40||07/14/2020|
I’m all the requirements you had BETTER meet before you even say hello!! And don’t you DARE assume I’m here to just “jump in the sack”. How about a date first and “take it from there”? But you’d better be a top! And I can host on week nights only!
|by Anonymous||reply 41||07/14/2020|
I’m the innocent dogs and cats ending up on this sketchy website/sex app. Our owner uses us for right face shots and to cancels his lower body.
|by Anonymous||reply 42||07/14/2020|
I'm looking for a reason to finally delete this app! I've been on here for at least ten years which should set alarm bells ringing and red flags waving all over the place.
|by Anonymous||reply 43||07/14/2020|
I'm the forewarning that your message will be deleted if you start by saying Hi, Hello or What's Up?
I WILL NOT BE ADDRESSED IN SUCH A CASUAL MANNER!!!!
|by Anonymous||reply 44||07/14/2020|
I do not respond to “winks’ or “likes”
|by Anonymous||reply 45||07/14/2020|
I'm the thanks in advance for the woofs. I'm nothing without my fans.
|by Anonymous||reply 46||07/14/2020|
I’m NO PIC NO CHAT! DON’T WASTE OUR TIME!
|by Anonymous||reply 47||07/14/2020|
I'm the link to the private Instagram account.
|by Anonymous||reply 48||07/14/2020|
I haven't looked at them in over a decade. I guess nothing's changed: same old liars.
|by Anonymous||reply 49||07/14/2020|
I’m the ex who’s been cropped out of the photo.
|by Anonymous||reply 50||07/14/2020|
I'm the oddly capitalized Ts and references to clouds. I'm here to tell the world that I am a drug addled skeleton trying to fill the void in my heart with flaccid dicks and the smell of cat piss.
|by Anonymous||reply 51||07/14/2020|
I'm the dirty bathroom mirror with an equally dirty and cluttered counter top commonly seen in the selfie used for main profile pics.
|by Anonymous||reply 52||07/14/2020|
I’m one of two profiles for each member of a bear couple. I show that I’m happily married to the absolute love of my life and that I’m JUST HERE FOR FRIENDS... I’m always up for meeting new people and having... “new adventures”. *wink* I pretty much mimic my partner profile. Lots of photos of our wedding and of us embracing one another in pools and hot tubs and with our three dogs and two cats. We’re ONLY here to keep up with our friends... who apparently don’t text, call, email or visit, which requires us to each have profiles on a gay hookup app. We just love cooking, being “two regular, normal guys”, traveling around our state to see and take part in anything that has the word “bear” associated with it... We like hanging out at home, being “average masculine guys”....and taking naughty pics of one another that we happen to keep here, locked.. (“pssst, this is ONLY for you! NObody has ever seen these so please don’t share. We NEVER do this kind of thing!”) ... Say hello and, guys who unlock their pics to the front of the line! But please don’t expect us to hookup! We’re only here to talk to friends. And make new ones! Did I mention the smaller of us is a bottom and the bigger one likes to eat ass while the smaller one gets fucked? ....and that we’re ONLY here to meet new friends?!
|by Anonymous||reply 53||07/14/2020|
The ugliest one of course, R36!
|by Anonymous||reply 54||07/14/2020|
i'm the link to twitter where you can find my onlyfans.
|by Anonymous||reply 55||07/14/2020|
All of my photos are shirtless pics from the gym locker room. This is to show you that I'm in great shape, have no life, and think that going to the gym is a personality trait.
|by Anonymous||reply 56||07/14/2020|
I'm the list of upcoming travel to cities around the globe. In no way does it mean that I'm an escort whose schedule follows the party circuit, though the dates may match.
|by Anonymous||reply 57||07/14/2020|
I'm the TAP = BLOCK!! warning. Ignore me at your peril.
|by Anonymous||reply 58||07/14/2020|
I am the 40 year old who had "boi" in my handle and says "no one over 30" in my add.
|by Anonymous||reply 59||07/14/2020|
[quote]I’m the complete lack of distance. I’m so scared to show you how close we are that I could be 5 feet or 5 miles.
Judging from the distance, I'm in the next room and am your husband.
|by Anonymous||reply 60||07/14/2020|
My status is It's Complicated which means I'm in an open relationship but my partner doesn't know yet because it's too complicated to explain.
|by Anonymous||reply 61||07/14/2020|
I’m the transwoman who thinks posting a pic of her cleavage is going to get her anywhere on an app that’s 99% gay guys.
|by Anonymous||reply 62||07/14/2020|
Keep it up. These apps deserve the brutal mockery they receive here!
|by Anonymous||reply 63||07/14/2020|
I'm just here to make friends! Hiya! I will block you in seconds if you don't suggest we hook up immediately.
|by Anonymous||reply 64||07/14/2020|
Why are all the guys who are into me 5000 miles away?? 😂😂🤷♂️💁
|by Anonymous||reply 65||07/14/2020|
I’m the cast of onslaught of trans and genderqueers that look make the dating app look like a virtual casting call for extras for a new Mad Max film.
|by Anonymous||reply 66||07/14/2020|
Musclebear in training looking for gym buddies or workout partners. Need to get back into a routine. Anyone else go to Planet Fitness?
|by Anonymous||reply 67||07/14/2020|
I’m the onslaught of trans and genderqueers that look make the dating app look like a virtual casting call for extras for a new Mad Max film.
|by Anonymous||reply 68||07/14/2020|
|by Anonymous||reply 69||07/14/2020|
Im the sad and lonely losers that sit on these aps night after night… Year after year. If you try to engage with me I’ll block you. My whole life exists to hook up have sex do drugs and basically try to feed my extremely low self-esteem. I don’t know how to talk to people or exist in the real world because I’m a complete and total fucking loser.
|by Anonymous||reply 70||07/14/2020|
I’m the person who went on a dating app 10 years ago and became so disheartened, I literally never went on another dating app since.
|by Anonymous||reply 71||07/14/2020|
I am a self-described “oral expert” ready for no recip service. Please don’t step on my dentures after you come.
|by Anonymous||reply 72||07/14/2020|
So much bitterness in this threD.
|by Anonymous||reply 73||07/14/2020|
I’m the blank profile DMing you incessantly with an onslaught of super close-up ass shots and videos of me being fucked by disgusting fat old guys with tiny dicks.
|by Anonymous||reply 74||07/14/2020|
|by Anonymous||reply 75||07/14/2020|
R75 99% of the time that person will be Latino
|by Anonymous||reply 76||07/14/2020|
I'm the impossibly, too-good-to-be-true, good looking, masculine Tops who are "Looking for trans only....NO MEN!!!!" who have invaded an app DESIGNED FOR MAN ON MAN SEX!!!
|by Anonymous||reply 77||07/14/2020|
I'm the request for pics in addition to the 10 in your profile and the 200 on your IG. I want to see every photo ever taken of you before I decide to not meet up.
|by Anonymous||reply 78||07/14/2020|
I'm white, muscular, dark-haired and bearded. Regardless of what I put in my profile, I only have sex with men who look exactly like me.
|by Anonymous||reply 79||07/14/2020|
I’m the unique closeup of a butthole that wins me over. So romantic. I feel like I already know you.
|by Anonymous||reply 80||07/14/2020|
I'm the daily "Good morning, handsome!" from your favorite stalker
|by Anonymous||reply 81||07/14/2020|
I'm the profile with a twink that proclaim "Looking for fun now!" I hit up every decent looking twink inviting them to join me and friends a local hotel for group fun. It will be taped but you won't know it!
|by Anonymous||reply 82||07/14/2020|
I'm the guy who when I asked for a pic, he responded with a pic of him with the most well known local news female anchor.
When I asked if they were friends, he said no.
|by Anonymous||reply 83||07/14/2020|
I’m the profile pic that’s been cropped to show only my smiling eyes, as they’re my subject’s only attractive feature.
I will later be noticed by the subject’s ex-boyfriend, who took the picture on a trip for which he paid.
|by Anonymous||reply 84||07/14/2020|
We're herpes and HPV. We've been inside everyone on this app. It's cool.
|by Anonymous||reply 85||07/14/2020|
Im the gay guy that lives next door. I have a very full life, partner, friends and a career .. I like .. well most of time. You will never see me on the apps.. and that pisses you off. We’re not all whores with low self esteem.. and yes we see you hanging by your car every night waiting for your next trick. Pathetic!
|by Anonymous||reply 86||07/14/2020|
I got lucky via Tinder lately. So I won’t bad mouth them.
|by Anonymous||reply 87||07/14/2020|
I’m the guy who sits on here 24/7, 7 days a week. I am ALWAYS online. No knee ever actually met me. I just log on and sit, Letting the winks, flirts, and compliments pile up. I will never respond and never actually hook up with anybody. I’m pretty much not even a real person.
|by Anonymous||reply 88||07/14/2020|
R86 Spoken like a person who is well adjusted and truly content with their life.
|by Anonymous||reply 89||07/14/2020|
I’m a 56 yo youthful looking man that looks under 39. I’m not into old men, so no one over 35, please.
|by Anonymous||reply 90||07/14/2020|
I'm the email reminder of what I have been missing since I last logged on. Wow! 10 horndogs have viewed my profile! I better log on and check! Oh... Those were suggested views. They didn't actually check me out.
|by Anonymous||reply 91||07/14/2020|
I’m the 174 ass pictures sent from every Latino across SOCAL. If you don’t get all your messages tonight don’t worry they'll be 271 ass pics tomorrow mang.
|by Anonymous||reply 92||07/14/2020|
I'm the spam folder for your email account. I'm loaded to the tits with emails about how many times you've shown up on searches even though you haven't logged on in six months.
|by Anonymous||reply 93||07/14/2020|
I’m the enormous amount of pathological liars sitting and waiting for you to log on.
|by Anonymous||reply 94||07/14/2020|
I posted a personal ad recently on Doublelist in the men-seeking-men dating category. I hadn't posted one in years and was curious what would happen.
I got about 8 replies and they were all cut-'n-paste sex invites (39, 6", cut, versatile, etc.). No one reads the ad- they just answer every ad and hope they get laid.
Sex ads are the purest form of what men are: just get off and get out.
|by Anonymous||reply 95||07/14/2020|
I’m “Scout”, the 20-something y.o. lesbian masquerading as a man. I say I’m a “trans man” but I’ve never had surgery or even take hormones. I’m jist here waiting, hoping...praying somebody will tell me this is a site for gay MEN when I will explode like a self righteous bomb! I do it for all trans men everywhere! We WILL have our rights to gay men’s hookup sites!!!
|by Anonymous||reply 96||07/15/2020|
I’m no fats, no fems.
|by Anonymous||reply 97||07/15/2020|
I’m also “looking for friends only!” but you’d better send pics. I’m only looking for good looking friends.
|by Anonymous||reply 98||07/15/2020|
Straight bro for straight bros only. No gays.
|by Anonymous||reply 99||07/15/2020|
I'm the disclaimer "Allergic to drama," but I only mean *your* drama.
|by Anonymous||reply 100||07/15/2020|
I'm 5'11" 260lbs but wear it well.
|by Anonymous||reply 101||07/15/2020|
My profile tells you how I’m so sick of how shallow gay men are, but my photos and descriptions of myself and what I’m looking for indicate I’m just as shallow, if not more so.
|by Anonymous||reply 102||07/15/2020|
I'm the obtuse and mythical "guy next door". I haven't existed since the 1960's in "My Three Sons"
|by Anonymous||reply 103||07/15/2020|
I’m the requirement to “Have a face”.
|by Anonymous||reply 104||07/15/2020|
I’m the requirement to “Have a face”.
|by Anonymous||reply 105||07/15/2020|
I'm the crooked, closed-mouth "smirk" used to hide saggy cheeks and thin lips. I can make a 2 look like a possible 7 in one simple face expression. Despite different clothes, locations and times... all my photos have this *exact* same facial expression. Like it's frozen that way.
|by Anonymous||reply 106||07/15/2020|
I'm the hiking picture taken the only time I went hiking. I HATED it but the pic makes me look so butch.
|by Anonymous||reply 107||07/15/2020|
I'm getting a new phone or account for whatever reason, signing on new, and suddenly seeing all the people you'd blocked over the years all around you. Look at all these cute guys everywhere! But soon... you slowly walk your memory through why you blocked each and every one, and get really depressed.
|by Anonymous||reply 108||07/15/2020|
Maybe he didn’t listen to his mother, r106.
|by Anonymous||reply 109||07/15/2020|
I'm the 6'1 "model" who "only dates mature men because I am an old soul"
All of my pics are of me shirtless and holding a beer. My body is perfect, but they all say I have the most dreamy sensitive eyes.
|by Anonymous||reply 110||07/15/2020|
I'm the 100-something, overweight, bald, ugly-as-hell, low-I.Q., mean-spirited weirdo who taps, says hello, and tries to chat and hook up with every single person on the app. I literally scroll through the grid one by one and approach everyone. Most block me right away. Any shred of attention makes me target you with a relentless stream of chat and pics. To me it's just a numbers game. Eventually I land on that one young inexperienced kid who doesn't know how to say no and is easily manipulated. I've fucked a lot of cute guys this way, and destroyed a lot of self-worth.
|by Anonymous||reply 111||07/15/2020|
Im the obese guy that just wants to cuddle.
|by Anonymous||reply 112||07/15/2020|
I’m the total top with a big dick and only shows a pic of my hairless asshole. I’m also discrete and can’t host.
|by Anonymous||reply 113||07/15/2020|
I’m the guy who writes ‘I don’t bite – unless you ask LOL’.
I haven’t been laid, ever.
|by Anonymous||reply 114||07/15/2020|
I’m the close up of an open mouth. I think I’m supposed to entice you into oral sex, but all I get are recommendations to see a dentist.
|by Anonymous||reply 115||07/15/2020|
I'm the guy you dated a couple of times until you found out he had a partner. He wants to know how you are doing?
|by Anonymous||reply 116||07/15/2020|
I'm 'Sorry can't host'.
But someday soon my 73 year old wheelchair bound mother, with whom I share a bedroom, will finally die.
|by Anonymous||reply 117||07/15/2020|
I actually mean "Would you like to have anal sex with me?"
|by Anonymous||reply 118||07/15/2020|
I'm the statement "I'm open minded"
This could lead to anything from underage sex, bestiality or scat.
Or all 3.
|by Anonymous||reply 119||07/15/2020|
I’m the pointless line ‘No timewasters’. No one has ever seen that and thought ‘Oh, I’m a timewaster, I won’t bother then’
|by Anonymous||reply 120||07/15/2020|
I’m the refusal to send even one face pic because “I don’t indulge pic collectors”. I seem to be unaware of all the free porn online which is far more appealing than any photo of me.
|by Anonymous||reply 121||07/15/2020|
I'm the guy "Just relaxing at home"
I'm actually naked on the sofa, sitting on top of an on oversized dildo and typing with one hand with a bottle of poppers in the other.
|by Anonymous||reply 122||07/15/2020|
I'm any of these phrases:
I love Lady Gaga
I fucking hate Lady Gaga
All of which actually mean 'bottom'.
|by Anonymous||reply 123||07/15/2020|
Im the 21-year-old who really wants a relationship. I don’t want to have sex with you. I wanna get to know someone on a deeper level. I’m 100% serious. I live in a small town and I have no clue how to meet other gay people. Everyone within a 75 mile radius will try to take advantage of me:
|by Anonymous||reply 124||07/15/2020|
I hate that smirk, but usually it’s to appear like they are begrudgingly taking one selfie and and don’t want to appear like they put any real effort into it. Like “ugh I hate taking pictures of myself”. They think it hides the fact that it’s actually selfie number 152 that they finally were happy with.
|by Anonymous||reply 125||07/15/2020|
Im the masculine Asian and Latino guys .. ooops they dont exist.
|by Anonymous||reply 126||07/15/2020|
Do you think the people who say they can't host are due to the fact they are closeted/paranoid or is it they afraid of possibly letting some psycho into their home? Soooooo many people can never seem to host.
|by Anonymous||reply 127||07/15/2020|
I'm the door left ajar at the Hilton by the airport. Let yourself in and wreck my hole.
|by Anonymous||reply 128||07/15/2020|
I'm the married guy with no pics, cause you know, married automatically = hot/your type
|by Anonymous||reply 129||07/15/2020|
Lolll r107, I totally did that when I used apps.
|by Anonymous||reply 130||07/15/2020|
I’m the missing two inches of height of many of the guys who claim to be 5’9 but seem to be closer to 5’7 at most in person.
|by Anonymous||reply 131||07/15/2020|
I'm the random fugly girl who wants to be friends with gay guys because I have ruined every girl friendship I have ever had.
Let's start some drama and ruin your crush's life
|by Anonymous||reply 132||07/15/2020|
I'm the guy who posts just one blurry profile pic, but demands several clear pics from you. If you don't comply, I'll block you so fast, your head will spin.
|by Anonymous||reply 133||07/15/2020|
[quote] Do you think the people who say they can't host are due to the fact they are closeted/paranoid or is it they afraid of possibly letting some psycho into their home? Soooooo many people can never seem to host.
R127, In my case it was because I lived in a basement apartment with 12 roommates.
|by Anonymous||reply 134||07/15/2020|
I’m the mom in the family Christmas pic, posted to show what great marriage material he is, that would be mortified to have the specifics on exactly what my boy does with that mouth.
|by Anonymous||reply 135||07/15/2020|
R131 Send all the short guys my way.
|by Anonymous||reply 136||07/15/2020|
I'm the attached Instagram full of ass and bulge pics, along with pics of my little nieces and nephews, because I'm a proud guncle.
|by Anonymous||reply 137||07/15/2020|
R127 I have “I can never host” written in all of my dating profiles. Every guy who’s ever asked why has felt bad afterwards (R117 actually isn’t all that far off).
R131 I’m 5’3 and get messaged all the time by guys asking “are you really that short?!?!” My answer is always, yes, and it’s really not that uncommon; most guys my height just say they’re 5’5 or 5’6.
|by Anonymous||reply 138||07/15/2020|
I find short guys very hot as long as they aren’t really nellie or twink
|by Anonymous||reply 139||07/15/2020|
R139 if only more guys thought like you!
|by Anonymous||reply 140||07/15/2020|
R140 I second that .. hell yes for short guys
|by Anonymous||reply 141||07/15/2020|
I call them “fun size” studs. Yum!
|by Anonymous||reply 142||07/15/2020|
I'm the pulse of desperation that permeates page after page of profiles.
|by Anonymous||reply 143||07/15/2020|
I despite men in R90
|by Anonymous||reply 144||07/15/2020|
I'm poz on Tuesday but miraculously neg on Wednesday.
|by Anonymous||reply 145||07/15/2020|
I'm the single guy who can't have anyone over because I have straight roommates. Yes, they know I'm gay, but they're not comfortable with my dates coming to our home, much less spending the night. No, their girlfriends sleep here all the time—why do you ask?
|by Anonymous||reply 146||07/15/2020|
I’m the sex worker who only has professionally done photos and will eagerly send you my rates.
|by Anonymous||reply 147||07/15/2020|
I'm a total top, i post my dick size and x rated pics, but I am ONLY LOOKING FOR FRIENDS
|by Anonymous||reply 148||07/15/2020|
I'm the retired Italian American with the well-kept small house in the section of town that was Italian 50 years ago. I always deliver 10 fat rock-hard inches, despite my age. You gave me your ass multiple times 15 years ago when you were 35 and I was "56". You know damned well I'm over 70, despite being "61" and you're going to give me your ass again, you greedy slut.
|by Anonymous||reply 149||07/15/2020|
I’m looking for generous friends over 50 only
|by Anonymous||reply 150||07/15/2020|
R149 seems very localized and specific.
|by Anonymous||reply 151||07/15/2020|
r50 Don't you mean "generou$ friend$?"
|by Anonymous||reply 152||07/15/2020|
I’m the guy who reminds everyone its a DATING app not a SEX app—so don’t interpret the headless photo of him in a thong as anything but looking to meet guys for a romantic date. Romance is not dead, guys.
|by Anonymous||reply 153||07/15/2020|
I'm the lenthy profile scolding anyone who dares identify as or seek 'masc' for your outdated & toxic values. Imagine how exhausting I am in person!
|by Anonymous||reply 154||07/15/2020|
I'm drama. People are so tired of me.
|by Anonymous||reply 155||07/15/2020|
The one and only truly honest profile:
Looking for a psychopathic, internally-homophobic and hyper-sexualised control freak, but not set in stone.
Please also be defined by labels, have a large collection of bathroom mirror selfies (with your shirt off of course), be a compulsive liar and write ‘ask me’ or ‘I’ll fill this in later’ as being mysterious, monosyllabic and lazy is really alluring.
I am strictly looking for men completely obsessed with the way they look, hate their jobs and think spending hours at the gym every day is a life well lived. People who adore validation from strangers to the front of the queue! I consider myself hyper-masc. In fact I’m probably straight. I like pussy so much I don’t even know why I’m on here.
I appreciate men who are discreet because discretion is the better part of valour. I also appreciate men who are discrete since I value someone with the emotional maturity to establish and maintain clear boundaries.
Another thing, don’t even think about using “Grrr”, “Hi" or “Hello" or any other bullshit one-word opening line. I want poetry and I don’t mean metaphorically. I want you to sit down and write me a poem. Something original and witty. And not some crappy first draft either. Writing is rewriting. I want rhyming, meter, imagery, theme. It had better be fucking brilliant otherwise I will block you.
Oh and thanks for all the compliments guys. You see I’m so incredibly popular, handsome and sexy, and there are just so many of you who want me that I couldn’t possibly take the time out from constantly looking in the mirror to acknowledge your existence.
|by Anonymous||reply 156||07/16/2020|
|by Anonymous||reply 157||07/16/2020|
I'm the guy who asks for your pic first so he can judge and be quick to block you if he doesn't like what he sees. I don't bother sending my pic afterwards.
|by Anonymous||reply 158||07/16/2020|
I'm the "pro" photographer! All my profile pics are my models. You clicked on it thinking it was me didn't you?
Anyway, while you're here... I charge $300 for a shoot, sex-trades for a shoot are not out of the question (giggle!), and by the way I look like Jabba the Hut with Richard Simmons' head (and voice).
All my "clients" are too dumb to figure out how to take a flattering photo with an iPhone.
|by Anonymous||reply 159||07/16/2020|
I’m the ‘dating’ app for straight people.
|by Anonymous||reply 160||07/16/2020|
R114, are you also r9?
|by Anonymous||reply 161||07/16/2020|
|by Anonymous||reply 162||07/16/2020|
Exactly, r162, because it’s been my experience in life that the crazies know they’re crazy.
|by Anonymous||reply 163||07/16/2020|
I'm the "last tested negative in February" but I've taken nearly a 100 raw cocks since so who knows.
|by Anonymous||reply 164||07/16/2020|
I'm the unusually hot guy who hits you up. When you reply, I will send you a link to some website where you can pay to see more of me. For some reason my profile always lists my height as 2'3"
|by Anonymous||reply 165||07/16/2020|
I am the guy who will engage you in conversation for a good hour while I wait for my roommate to leave so I can have you over.
In the interim, we will trade nude photos and I will tell you all the hot things I am going to do to you when my roommate finally leaves.
At some point I will cum from jerking off to your photos/our conversation, at which point I will block you or just stop responding.
|by Anonymous||reply 166||07/16/2020|
Given that several people have mentioned it: every time I was in LA and on Grindr, I would get hit up multiple times by random Latino guys who'd send me multiple close ups of their assholes, but nothing else. They invariably lived 30 miles away from my hotel too.
What's the story there? Any theories?
|by Anonymous||reply 167||07/16/2020|
I am "bi curious"
That instantly makes me 25% hotter
|by Anonymous||reply 168||07/16/2020|
I am "wait, I thought you said your name was Matt?" when you actually do hook up in person.
|by Anonymous||reply 169||07/16/2020|
I am 39.
I am the Grindr age of every guy between the ages of 39 and 52.
I am 49
I am the Grindr age of every guy between the ages of 49 and 62
|by Anonymous||reply 170||07/16/2020|
R167 It must be a cultural thing. The latinos in LA have done this for years. If I stay anywhere near LAX and open up any hook up app I will get at least 20 to 25 ass pictures within about 15 to 20 minutes. My theory is is they’re desperate… Most likely they live in their parents house or with a wife.
|by Anonymous||reply 171||07/16/2020|
"Last tested negative in May 2020!"
Really? Do please tell us which testing place was open then.
|by Anonymous||reply 172||07/16/2020|
R166 had that happen although dude kept pestering me to come over right away. So I did, and about two miles down the road, I get a text telling me not to come because his housemate came home early. It might have been true, but more than likely he either got off to porn, or got a “better” offer. I was pissed and basically thanked him for wasting my time. He may have been being honest, but apparently this happens a lot, so after that I deleted Grndr and haven’t returned. Too many game players and flakes.
|by Anonymous||reply 173||07/16/2020|
R173 I suspect many of them are married (to either a man or a woman), closeted, underage, or nothing like their profile pictures. The app becomes something like a video game for them, where the goal is to get off while online, rather than ever meet someone.
|by Anonymous||reply 174||07/16/2020|
award for best marketing of a 69 yr old
"I am a very clean , discreet,bi married white male . Due to medical reasons I only give oral . I can never host but can travel. If interested let's talk a bit ."
|by Anonymous||reply 175||07/16/2020|
R90 is the best
|by Anonymous||reply 176||07/16/2020|
I am taking PrEP, Treatment as prevention.
|by Anonymous||reply 177||07/16/2020|
I am the guy with a lengthy list of complaints and demands in my profile.
Even if I am hot and you are getting desperate, you will avoid me because you correctly imagine that I will be equally demanding in bed and complain about everything from the lighting in the room to the position in which you are fucking my ass.
The more I get rejected, the lengthier my list of complaints gets.
It's a vicious cycle.
|by Anonymous||reply 178||07/16/2020|
I'm the Grindr formula tops use to make their 3.5" cock, a 7" cock.
|by Anonymous||reply 179||07/16/2020|
R178 heard stories also that these mega profile guys will announce in the middle of things (date/sex), “I’m sorry, but this just isn’t working for me anymore” and abruptly leave. It’s like there’s this tipping point where if the stars aren’t aligned just right they give themselves the right to be a cunt.
Ironically these are are also usually the guys who talk about just wanting to meet “a nice simple guy with a heart of gold”.
|by Anonymous||reply 180||07/16/2020|
R180 Id rather be alone than on the apps. Pointless waste of time.
|by Anonymous||reply 181||07/16/2020|
I'm the fool that claims to be "discrete".
|by Anonymous||reply 182||07/16/2020|
I’m the ultimate ghetto giveaway: “come correct”.
|by Anonymous||reply 183||07/16/2020|
I'm 200 dollars. A surprising % of young men will do anything with beat-up late-middle-aged men, to get their hands on me.
|by Anonymous||reply 184||07/16/2020|
I'm the description Italian 8" thick top with no profile pic that gets flooded with responses.
|by Anonymous||reply 185||07/16/2020|
R18:3.. ha! Also… “What imma go ahead and do is”
|by Anonymous||reply 186||07/16/2020|
What does “come correct” mean?
|by Anonymous||reply 187||07/16/2020|
|by Anonymous||reply 188||07/16/2020|
I'm the closeted, married local news anchor who only posts photos of himself from the neck down
|by Anonymous||reply 189||07/16/2020|
R187, I think it means in the butt without a condom.
|by Anonymous||reply 190||07/16/2020|
I'm the "guy next door." If you live next door to a meth lab.
|by Anonymous||reply 191||07/16/2020|
No, R190. It means ass clean, and sometimes no BO.
|by Anonymous||reply 192||07/16/2020|
I'm a skier who loves the snow. ❄️⛷️ Sorry, Pepsi is not ok.
|by Anonymous||reply 193||07/16/2020|
It’s so they can cheat on their partners, r127.
|by Anonymous||reply 194||07/16/2020|
I'm 29 and 5'11.......which means I'm really 5'9" and 34.
|by Anonymous||reply 195||07/16/2020|
I'm the guy who is still using the same picture after 20+ years (it followed me over from A4A). Fortunately, after all this time I'm still 29!
|by Anonymous||reply 196||07/16/2020|
I'm a megachurch pastor who preaches against gays. But I'm on grindr 24/7 looking for dick
|by Anonymous||reply 197||07/16/2020|
|by Anonymous||reply 198||07/16/2020|
R198 omg..That’s genius where did you find that?
|by Anonymous||reply 199||07/16/2020|
R199 I’ve had it saved in my arsenal of PSA YoiTube videos for awhile now. :)
|by Anonymous||reply 200||07/16/2020|
|by Anonymous||reply 201||07/16/2020|
I’m “into?” and these days, I’m considered a perfectly polite alternative to “hello” and “how are you doing?”.
|by Anonymous||reply 202||07/17/2020|
R180 - that happened to me once.
The worst one was some guy I exchanged loads of messages with, including plenty of pics. He wanted to come over dressed head to toe in biker gear and do this and do that yadda yadda. He finally showed up about an hour late, I opened to door, he looked at me and said 'Nah' and walked away. I'd like to think this was his 'thing' He got off on humiliating people. Or maybe I'm just fucking hideous.
Actually that's another one that bugs me:
I'm 'What are you going to do me?' I kneed to know all the precise and vivid details. Once I've finished jerking off to your messages I'll cum and block you.
|by Anonymous||reply 203||07/17/2020|
I'm the bizarre act of asking someone things, and just taking their answers at face value.
"Are you ____?"
"Oh okay cool."
|by Anonymous||reply 204||07/17/2020|
I’m the guy who has every single stat filled out except his HIV status. I will not get messaged because this will cause others to make an assumption.
|by Anonymous||reply 205||07/17/2020|
|by Anonymous||reply 206||07/17/2020|
Were the pics you sent the biker current? Did they include face? I am guessing they were and you did. Which sounds like the trick was not really up to delivering what he promised.
I had this kid who wanted to get beat up. I went over there once and it was pretty good. At one point he was trying to get away from me, but that could have been part of the act. Anyway, He hits me up all the time now. I don't want to block because I might want to do it again. But I don't really like the idea of expending all that energy just to get off.
|by Anonymous||reply 207||07/17/2020|
I’m “NOT INTO ANAL or KISSING!l and am super paranoid and make you wear a condom for oral sex when you untimely hook up You feel like offering them rubber gloves and a can of Lysol.
|by Anonymous||reply 208||07/17/2020|
They were just ahead of their time R208
|by Anonymous||reply 209||07/17/2020|
R205 Well the assumption is that you are HIV positive. Why would you purposely leave that out unless you were trying to hide something. I forgot is not an acceptable answer on a detailed profile
|by Anonymous||reply 210||07/17/2020|
What’s an “untimely hookup”?
|by Anonymous||reply 211||07/17/2020|
R172, I’m not trying to ruin the fun, but I’ve been to my doctor in May, albeit not for an HIV test.
|by Anonymous||reply 212||07/17/2020|
[quote] I’m not trying to ruin the fun, but I’ve been to my doctor in May, albeit not for an HIV test.
Was it for a hookup with the doctor? What was his profile like?
|by Anonymous||reply 213||07/17/2020|
R210 that’s my point! What’s even crazier is when guys put the date they got tested but not what the results were.
|by Anonymous||reply 214||07/17/2020|
I'm the serial killer into bondage. My profile includes a pic of me dressed as Santa Claus so you know I'm a decent guy and 100% won't kill you and pose you after I strangle you.
|by Anonymous||reply 215||07/17/2020|
I’m the guy who invites you over to an abandoned house he’s squatting in where he plans to rob you. The house may look empty and dark but I’m just being discreet. Come around the back and enter through the back door.
|by Anonymous||reply 216||07/17/2020|
I’m the free bedbugs you take home.
|by Anonymous||reply 217||07/17/2020|
I love cuddling and snuggling. Good kissers are a must!
|by Anonymous||reply 218||07/17/2020|
I’m.the real estate agent that uses empty houses to hook up in.
|by Anonymous||reply 219||07/17/2020|
I'm the murderer
|by Anonymous||reply 220||07/17/2020|
I’m always looking for you, r219!
|by Anonymous||reply 221||07/18/2020|
I'm the closeted married man who "can't host" because Iive with my wife and two kids
|by Anonymous||reply 222||07/18/2020|
I am the divorced man who still lives in his home with his ex-wife and kids and I CAN host.
|by Anonymous||reply 223||07/18/2020|
I'm "I'll fill this in later"
I'm yet another lie.
|by Anonymous||reply 224||07/20/2020|
I'm what inarticulate people say to give the illusion that they can maintain a conversation. Or something that's easy to type with one hand. You decide.
|by Anonymous||reply 225||07/20/2020|
[quote] I'm the local guy with the same profile you've been seeing since 2003 on Gay.com. It's 2020 and it's now my Grindr pic.
And, like CZJ, I have remained a ravishing 33 for all 17 of those years.
|by Anonymous||reply 226||07/20/2020|
R167 it sounds like you got Edwina'd.
|by Anonymous||reply 227||07/20/2020|
and speaking of.....
I'm the butch top who calls you before your hookup to chat and excites you with his gruff, deep voice.
As soon as you walk in, I do a 180 and my heels are on the ceiling before the door clicks closed behind you.
|by Anonymous||reply 228||07/20/2020|
I'm the guy with no pictures and no intention on sending any who demands you do a whole pornographic photoshoot for me or else get blocked.
|by Anonymous||reply 229||07/20/2020|
I'm the long-winded Scruff profile. I mistakenly imagine that I'm so fascinating that people are just dying to read me.
|by Anonymous||reply 230||07/20/2020|
I am commas, periods and question marks. Anyone seen me lately?
|by Anonymous||reply 231||07/20/2020|
I'm the innocent person who just posted a selfie on Instagram not knowing that some fat, ugly slob is about to screenshot it and use it to catfish nudes out of hot guys.
|by Anonymous||reply 232||07/20/2020|
I'm the delusional guy who will block anybody who doesn't look like they just walked out of a Calvin Klein underwear ad. Never mind the fact that I'm no great prize myself. I know what I deserve and refuse to settle! (I'll be spending tonight, and every night, alone.)
|by Anonymous||reply 233||07/20/2020|
I'm the multiple provocative photos. I'm here, even though the poster is ONLY looking for friends and is with the love of his life, and not looking to change that at any time.
|by Anonymous||reply 234||07/20/2020|
I'm the top who lists all his stats except his dick size. Those bottoms will never figure out I'm not hung if I don't list it!
I'm the following question this same top gets every single time he hits up a bottom: How hung are you?
|by Anonymous||reply 235||07/20/2020|
I’m the “married” guy who has a deep tan and bleached tips and claims that my “wife” is “out-of-town”.
Pictures of my “family” on the piano look remarkably similar to the stock photos that came with the picture frame.
|by Anonymous||reply 236||07/20/2020|
If you have to ask how big I am then that is a deal breaker/red flag.
I don’t like guys who are so gaping and used up that there is zero friction, even with a huge one.
What’s the point.
|by Anonymous||reply 237||07/20/2020|
Needle dick mosquito fucker ^
|by Anonymous||reply 238||07/20/2020|
I’m the person who requests a full portfolio, closeups, snapchats, videos and xrays before meeting.
|by Anonymous||reply 239||07/20/2020|
I'm the person who requests STD tests for the last 5 years before meeting
|by Anonymous||reply 240||07/20/2020|
Anyone hear the echo in here?
|by Anonymous||reply 241||07/20/2020|
I’m the person that asks to know, in granular detail, every single thing that is going to happen when we meet.
I’m always like, DO I LOOK LIKE SOME KIND OF ORACLE??? How in the bleep would I know?
|by Anonymous||reply 242||07/20/2020|
this thread started well.
|by Anonymous||reply 243||07/20/2020|
I'm the Shouts on Growlr. I'm here to show you the most pathetic desperate men in your area. They pay between $5 and $20 for this privilege.
|by Anonymous||reply 244||07/20/2020|
I'm the married man who has cut his wife off from the profile picture. "We don't derive pleasure from each other anymore. I am looking for friendship and companionship that could possibly lead to more." (Subtext : No it won't! I would just pump and dump, but if you are foolish enough to swipe right, you deserve it....Also, don't tell my wife!)
|by Anonymous||reply 245||07/20/2020|
I'm COVID-19. I'm a convenient excuse to put "No hookups, I'm social distancing" in your profile for when unattractive and/or creepy guys message you. But if a hot guy messages you, all the sudden you aren't so worried about me anymore.
|by Anonymous||reply 246||07/20/2020|
I’m the embarrassing visible toilet in the bathroom selfie.
|by Anonymous||reply 247||07/20/2020|
I am the turd in that bowl at r247
|by Anonymous||reply 248||07/20/2020|
I'm the horny married guy just looking for a blow job. I haven't had sex in 2 years and am doing this in desperation. I can never host, I have a thick eight inches and will not touch you except to hold your head in place while I fuck your mouth. I immediately block you as soon as I walk out the door.
|by Anonymous||reply 249||07/20/2020|
I'm the guy described in R249, I'm actually a homely gay guy but I found out if I claim to be straight and married that skanky queens will throw themselves at me for sex. I hardly ever see them more than once though because they aren't the type to date.
|by Anonymous||reply 250||07/20/2020|
I'm the bathroom mirror gunk visible in half of your selfies.
|by Anonymous||reply 251||07/20/2020|
I’m the “bi curious” guy who takes 5 min to respond between texts and engages a guy in a 30 min conversation with plans to hook up then never shows.
Truth be known, I was chatting with 3 other guys art the same time and regularly jerk off to the idea of hooking in with a guy, but never really intend to. I block all the guys after I come and laugh thinking about the guys I left waiting for a hookup that will never show.
|by Anonymous||reply 252||07/20/2020|
I’m the obnoxious Latino that calls everyone Papi
|by Anonymous||reply 253||07/20/2020|
I'm the "Thanks for all the woofs!" that lets everyone know that this guy is way too attractive for YOU.
|by Anonymous||reply 254||07/20/2020|
I'm another married guy. If I'm married to a woman, I am really paranoid and won't ever show you a face pic, but I'm fine showing you a close up of my hole. I'm "clean" and expect you to be "clean" also. If I am married to a man, I want to make it clear that you mean nothing to me, I'm only on this site because my husband is not satisfying me sexually. Basically, I kind of think of you as the help.
|by Anonymous||reply 255||07/20/2020|
I’m the come dump that is clearly on meth that chats you when you randomly log in late at night. He tells you how hot you are/sound and wants to know if you’ll come over. It’s strange he knows so much since you have no photo or personal details posted on your profile. Is he psychic? lol
And they wonder why we end up getting killed and robbed by psychos....
|by Anonymous||reply 256||07/20/2020|
I’m the queer SJW who wants straight acting white cock but won’t admit it. Her profile will remind you that BLM, trans lives matter, and she blocks all haters and anyone who uses the word “clean” in regards to their HIV status.
|by Anonymous||reply 257||07/20/2020|
|by Anonymous||reply 258||07/21/2020|
I’m the 63 year old top (been told I look 40), even though I’m advertising as a top my private album is full of ass and hole pics. When I finally meet up with you my neck, face, and chest will be bright red from ED meds and I will fuck you for 2 minutes, after which I’ll feign exhaustion. I’ll flip over and suggest “something i’ve never tried before!” which is for you to fuck ME. It’s what I actually wanted the whole time teehee!!!
|by Anonymous||reply 259||07/21/2020|
I'm the twink who uses Grindr to promote my favorite popstar's new album/single. Stream it on Spotify and I'll send you my nudes. I'll probably send them anyway even if you don't, but it will make me really happy if you do.
|by Anonymous||reply 260||07/21/2020|
I’m the surprisingly hot guy who sends you tons of flattering comments, nudes and personal stories for an entire week, along with a lengthy list of all the filthy things I want to do to you, who abruptly starts ghosting you the day before our scheduled hookup and ultimately blocks you for no explainable reason.
|by Anonymous||reply 261||07/21/2020|
I'm the internet inches.
|by Anonymous||reply 262||07/21/2020|
I’m the guy who’s fully clothed in all his pics to hide the gorilla hair growing out of every single pore.
|by Anonymous||reply 263||07/21/2020|
I’m the vaguely Slavic undertones to the otherwise perfect English from the hot blonde soldier stationed oversees who just wants to meet a nice guy. After weeks of chatting our ‘soldier’ will asking you for money.
|by Anonymous||reply 264||07/21/2020|
I'm the activist who devotes my entire bio to speaking out against racism, transphobia, fat shaming, etc. If you're an ignorant, closed minded Republican bigot, don't bother messaging me.
|by Anonymous||reply 265||07/21/2020|
I'm the profile that is a cover for someone advertising for some kind of political candidate. I'm also the claim that this is a revolutionary idea when really I'm just an excuse not to leave my couch and troll for dick while I'm supposed to be working.
|by Anonymous||reply 266||07/21/2020|
|by Anonymous||reply 267||07/21/2020|
"I'm straight but curious".
|by Anonymous||reply 268||07/21/2020|
I'm Country Boy! I'm 27, looking for other hot young neg hung jocks or twinks with gym memberships who love & crave sweaty passionate bareback fun with muscle boys like me (18-36).
|by Anonymous||reply 269||07/21/2020|
I'm the blank profile that bombards you with pictures of my ass and cock right away. Let's not waste time on small talk. No "hey," "what's up?" or "how are you?" I want to get straight to the point.
|by Anonymous||reply 270||07/21/2020|
Im the bathroom selfie with a toilet in the background..Im clueless
|by Anonymous||reply 271||07/21/2020|
I'm the cute young guy that messages you out of the blue -And when you read his profile he is a counselor at a local community health agency who wants you to get tested for HIV and STIs. I won't actually meet up or ever have sex. With anyone. Ever.
|by Anonymous||reply 272||07/21/2020|
I’m the Asian twink. Just TRY to use the ethnicity filter now to make me vanish! haha!!
|by Anonymous||reply 273||07/21/2020|
R272 and you are posting from 1998?
|by Anonymous||reply 274||07/21/2020|
Im the gay wigga in Atlanta dat wants to chill
|by Anonymous||reply 275||07/21/2020|
I'm the freeper at r257 who whines about SJWs. I'm closeted to all my red state friends and my fellow Republicans
|by Anonymous||reply 276||07/21/2020|
I’m the “Sup bro?” from the frat boy in a backwards Baseball cap. He looks masculine online but in person he is flaming.
|by Anonymous||reply 277||07/21/2020|
I’m ‘Me!’ on New York’s Upper East Side. I’m a nerdy yet sexy young doctor at a local hospital. Catfish me on Scruff and maybe post my nudes here.
|by Anonymous||reply 278||07/21/2020|
I'm the serious, squinty selfie that makes my face look like an actual jock's and less like Betty Boop.
|by Anonymous||reply 279||07/21/2020|
I’m the unflattering fluorescent light illuminating all of the bathroom selfies.
|by Anonymous||reply 280||07/22/2020|
I’m the insanely gorgeous hunk who happens to be visiting your town for one day only and messages you, only it happens to be the one time you’re away.
|by Anonymous||reply 281||07/22/2020|
I'm "Just here for one thing. If you can't get together right now, I'll block you. Can't host."
|by Anonymous||reply 282||07/22/2020|
Man this thread is filling up fast considering that guys tell me they're not into hookup apps
|by Anonymous||reply 283||07/22/2020|
I'm hoooking up as I type this
|by Anonymous||reply 284||07/22/2020|
|by Anonymous||reply 285||07/22/2020|
im the older guy who states he will pay for it cause thats the only way he gets laid.
|by Anonymous||reply 286||07/22/2020|
I'm a/s/l? I was here before you bitches and I'll be here long after you're gone.
|by Anonymous||reply 287||07/22/2020|
|by Anonymous||reply 288||07/22/2020|
I’m your boss who can tell you were on the app all day
|by Anonymous||reply 289||07/22/2020|
I’m not fats, no fems, no blood, no scat.
|by Anonymous||reply 290||07/22/2020|
R289 and who’ll send you dick pics after getting sloshed at Happy Hour.
|by Anonymous||reply 291||07/22/2020|
I'm the fems, fats and Asians who didn't get further than you profile pic to read what you weren't into.
|by Anonymous||reply 292||07/23/2020|
R281, he was a hustler...
|by Anonymous||reply 293||07/23/2020|
I'm the occasional really great hook-up.
|by Anonymous||reply 294||07/24/2020|
R294 I concur. Even with all the cackle-worthy cliches in this thread (which are mostly true); sometimes when the door opens your eyes light up and you jam into each other like magnets. It may be good for just the night or it may be the guy you stick with for years, but if you hadn't opened that sordid app you never would have crossed paths.
|by Anonymous||reply 295||07/24/2020|
I'm the watermark Manhunt applied to pictures in 2002. I will be present in all hookup apps for all time.
|by Anonymous||reply 296||07/24/2020|
I'm the redundancy in "DDF free"
|by Anonymous||reply 297||07/24/2020|
I'm the vers top with a preference for "Asians and Latinos to the front of the line ..... weakness for gingers too".
|by Anonymous||reply 298||07/24/2020|
I'm the one good picture you looked halfway decent in which was taken in 2005. All I accomplish is making the person experience sheer disappointment when they see you in person, but you hope they say "I've come this far. I may as well stay."
|by Anonymous||reply 299||07/24/2020|
I’m the pseudo legal paragraph warning Sydney University that it may not use my photos, especially the one of my puckered hole, for research purposes.
|by Anonymous||reply 300||07/24/2020|
I'm a divorced, proud father who has custody of my kid for the weekend. Don't worry. I'm going to make him go to bed early tonight, but we have to be quiet so we don't wake him up.
|by Anonymous||reply 301||07/24/2020|
“Husky” is not a thing.
|by Anonymous||reply 302||07/24/2020|
I'm the bestiality that's implied by the "and other stuff" end of "I'm into kissing, sucking, cuddling, fucking, and other stuff."
|by Anonymous||reply 303||07/24/2020|
To me “other stuff” implied some fetishes, role play or maybe s&m, never would think it implied beastiality!
|by Anonymous||reply 304||07/24/2020|
I'm the local GOP politician who is trying to hide his identity
|by Anonymous||reply 305||07/24/2020|
More wild than mild. Talk dirty to me! #puplife
|by Anonymous||reply 306||07/24/2020|
I'm the public photos of him and husband in fantastic vacation spots: the Pyramids! Eiffel Tower! the Great Wall!
I'm the photos sent privately of him with two dicks and a dildo up his ass at the same time along with a message asking if my fist can be the fourth member of the party. He's got fresh poppers and all.
|by Anonymous||reply 307||07/24/2020|
|by Anonymous||reply 308||07/24/2020|
I am the washed-up ex-child actor from a long-canceled sitcom that was never any good to begin with. Coming out of the closet didn’t do a thing to make me any less washed-up, so I am using whatever fading memories of whatever long-lost fame I ever had to lure you into a trap where I can infect you with HIV via unsafe sex.
|by Anonymous||reply 309||07/24/2020|
^^How dare you?
|by Anonymous||reply 310||07/24/2020|
How dare I? You’re the one who is shortening gay men’s lives. How dare you! And what made it worse is that you backed me into a corner where are you forced me to agree with that Bure woman who I also hate.
|by Anonymous||reply 311||07/24/2020|
I do what I want. I'm the boss!!
|by Anonymous||reply 312||07/24/2020|
I'm the profile with no picture which means I'm either a closeted "straight" guy (likely with a wife or girlfriend) or I'm so damn ugly that I know no one would respond to my messages if I showed them what I really look like.
|by Anonymous||reply 313||07/24/2020|
I’m a picture of muscle daddy in chaps in front of floor to ceiling shelves of Lladró collectibles.
|by Anonymous||reply 314||07/24/2020|
It's 2020. I'm Rip Van Winkle apparently because I'm "looking to get pozzed" please "breed me" with your "toxic seed"
|by Anonymous||reply 315||07/24/2020|
R310 and R312 are doing the work of anti-gay bigots for them.
|by Anonymous||reply 316||07/24/2020|
I'm the difference between "undetectable" and HIV-free. Some of you don't know the difference.
|by Anonymous||reply 317||07/24/2020|
I’m “undetectable = untransmissible” and other shamey slogans to guilt you into taking your life in your hands and fucking me raw.
|by Anonymous||reply 318||07/24/2020|
|by Anonymous||reply 319||07/24/2020|
I am the guy "looking for friends" and demands 20 pics then blocks you for not being his type... "friends" eh ?
|by Anonymous||reply 320||07/24/2020|
I'm "Thanks for all the compliments. Really appreciate them. Don't take it personally if I can't get back to each one of you."
|by Anonymous||reply 321||07/25/2020|
I'm the white twink with #BLM they will ignore any black man that tried to message me to hookup. Not into black men or Asians.
|by Anonymous||reply 322||07/25/2020|
I’m the overly confident fuzzy chub who hits up everyone in the hopes of a nibble.
|by Anonymous||reply 323||07/25/2020|
I’m the cutesy emoticons such as:
[no symbol] pic, no [eggplant symbol]
|by Anonymous||reply 324||07/25/2020|
I’m the guy who wants to have a beer first and get to know you better before we have sex. I’m frau-adjacent.
|by Anonymous||reply 325||07/25/2020|
I’m the guy that wants a relationship. I seriously don’t know what the hell I’m doing here. I live in a small town and there’s nowhere else to meet gays.
|by Anonymous||reply 326||07/25/2020|
I’m COVID-19, I’ll kill off whoever my sister HIV couldn’t!
|by Anonymous||reply 327||07/25/2020|
I’m offended that you ask me about sex before you ask me out on a romantic date. What about my half naked headless body shot are you misunderstanding?
|by Anonymous||reply 328||07/25/2020|
|by Anonymous||reply 329||07/25/2020|
I need to be wooed on a date before we hit it off. I need to know you really want me and that I’m not a random choice.
|by Anonymous||reply 330||07/25/2020|
I'm LOL. I usually come right after "I'm horny." Because being horny is apparently laugh-out-loud hilarious.
|by Anonymous||reply 331||07/25/2020|
I’m the couple with multiple photos posted who always seems to be “just one of us tonight” whenever they chat
|by Anonymous||reply 332||07/25/2020|
I’m a sassy black T with a photo filter of a bunny nose. I get no action.
|by Anonymous||reply 333||07/25/2020|
Why are so many couples looking for friends on dating apps—and so adamant they aren’t looking for hookups? If you are in a relationship, you should have twice as many friends to choose from.
|by Anonymous||reply 334||07/25/2020|
I’m looking for my “dom top “ but based on the intricate qualifications described in my profile, it’s clear I’m a VERY bossy bottom, and my dom wouldn’t be in charge of anything
|by Anonymous||reply 335||07/25/2020|
I'm just here passing time because I already have a partner and he's so much better than you, but you should still know I'm on PREP and am into kink.
|by Anonymous||reply 336||07/25/2020|
I'm here To meeT GreaT playmaTes
|by Anonymous||reply 337||07/25/2020|
I’m here looking for friends in The clouds ☁️
|by Anonymous||reply 338||07/25/2020|
I'm your ex boyfriend or ex fuck buddy. We ended on bad terms but I still want to talk with you, maybe "meet up for drinks". You'll ignore me, as you rightfully should.
|by Anonymous||reply 339||07/25/2020|
“ALPHA Dom looking for other tops to tagteam my beta bottom bitch bf.”
As always, there is only one top.
|by Anonymous||reply 340||07/25/2020|
We are all the fats, fems, and Asians you turned down. Eventually, we will be turning down your mattresses in hospital beds. Don’t forget, some of us are nurses.
|by Anonymous||reply 341||07/25/2020|
I'm someone's fluctuating age. I'm not listed in the profile but when you ask about me you'll get different answers every time. A few weeks ago I was 42. This week I'm 49!
This actually happened to me last week.
|by Anonymous||reply 342||07/26/2020|
R342 I’m the guy whose age and pics haven’t changed in the nine years you’ve seen me on the apps.
|by Anonymous||reply 343||07/26/2020|
I’m the ‘clean’ HIV status (one year out of date)
|by Anonymous||reply 344||07/26/2020|
I'm all the 29-year-old guys. We're really 37.
|by Anonymous||reply 345||07/26/2020|
I'm the 16-year-old boy who is lying about being 18. If you hook up with me, you're going to jail!
|by Anonymous||reply 346||07/26/2020|
I’m the nice looking older guy with a good body who hits you up. You were going to meet me until I sent you a dick pic showing a giant rat’s nest of pubes, hairy shaft and three inch wiry ball hairs.
|by Anonymous||reply 347||07/26/2020|
[QUOTE] three inch wiry ball hairs.
|by Anonymous||reply 348||07/26/2020|
R347 plus old men stink .. gross.
|by Anonymous||reply 349||07/26/2020|
[quote] I’m the nice looking older guy with a good body who hits you up. You were going to meet me until I sent you a dick pic showing a giant rat’s nest of pubes, hairy shaft and three inch wiry ball hairs.
Better to be forewarned than have that sprung on you like snakes in a can when you pull someone's underwear down.
|by Anonymous||reply 350||07/26/2020|
Thanks to this app, I've met the love of my life lol! So I'm just here now to keep up with friends. Not looking!!!!!
|by Anonymous||reply 351||07/27/2020|
I'm in an open relationship. Only my boyfriend doesn't know it!
|by Anonymous||reply 352||07/27/2020|
I'm a sergeant in the US army.
I'm not out yet but I'm hoping to meet someone special.
I'm kinda lonely over here in Afghanistan.
|by Anonymous||reply 353||07/27/2020|
I’m the guy using an obvious stock photo as my profile pic.
|by Anonymous||reply 354||07/27/2020|
btw no word of a lie, a guy sent me a full-length pic of himself (fully clothed) standing next to a naked woman. I think she was a stripper, looked like they were in some sort of club.
He turned out to be a farm boy. It was the weirdest thing
|by Anonymous||reply 355||07/27/2020|
There is no reason for you not to have a profile pic, it is 2019 and you have a camera in your hand!!
|by Anonymous||reply 356||07/27/2020|
well, that IS true, R356
|by Anonymous||reply 357||07/27/2020|
It’s 2020, R356 and R357. We’re already more than halfway through 2020, actually, believe it or not...
|by Anonymous||reply 358||07/27/2020|
OMG I've encountered every one of these guys on the apps. Now I'm paranoid about my own profiles LOL. Help me! What profile really gets results?
|by Anonymous||reply 359||07/27/2020|
I’ve noticed the rats nest thing with older guys. Why don’t they groom? I’m not talking hedge animals—-just trim it up a bit.
|by Anonymous||reply 360||07/27/2020|
R357/R358 - that was the joke. Criticizing other people's profiles while yours is outdated.
|by Anonymous||reply 361||07/27/2020|
I got it, nonetheless there is no excuse anymore to say you don’t have a picture
|by Anonymous||reply 362||07/27/2020|
Anyone without a pic is either:
1.Fat or Fug
2.Completely misrepresenting himself (e.g. 20 years older than he's claiming to be)
3.Major closet case - possibly some megachurch guy or a fundie politician
|by Anonymous||reply 363||07/27/2020|
R360 I don’t know but it makes me fucking wanna vomit. Trim your shit. I can’t even see your dick in that fucking bush.
|by Anonymous||reply 364||07/27/2020|
I’m the hot leather daddy from Canada who turns out to be a great time and we spend all day in bed together.
|by Anonymous||reply 365||07/27/2020|
I'm your cat.
Please stop having all these guys over, and just pet me.
|by Anonymous||reply 366||07/27/2020|
I'm the old gay man in a monogamous relationship for 39 years. This all sounds dreadful.
|by Anonymous||reply 367||07/28/2020|
I’m the partner talked into a threesome by his partner. I don’t want to do it but I don’t want him cheating behind my back.
I’m the third guy wondering why one of these guys is giving me major attitude during sex. Now he just left in a huff and locked himself in the bathroom.
|by Anonymous||reply 368||07/28/2020|
Hi! I’m the guy who came over when you posted that “I’ll be blindfolded and waiting on all fours” post.
You don’t remember me, and couldn’t identify me anyway but I sure enjoyed fucking you. It’s fun now when I see you around. Am I your neighbor? Your boss? A co-worker? Your lawn guy? I’m not telling but hope you post another invitation like that!
|by Anonymous||reply 369||07/28/2020|
|by Anonymous||reply 370||07/28/2020|
I'm the guy who messages you every time I see you're on. We've chatted before and you weren't interested. Now you ignore me every time I say, "Hi". How soon until you block me?
|by Anonymous||reply 371||07/28/2020|
I’m bi curious but only enough to pretend I’d actually hook up. Ultimately I’ll disconnect after I get off to bi porn and block you. I’ll be on tomorrow night and do the same thing.
|by Anonymous||reply 372||07/28/2020|
I'm so sick of the fugs with blank profiles sending me one unsolicited face pic. Like I' supposed to say wow! get over here! I'm open to all types of guys but at least start a conversation. Some of the hottest guys I've ever met started with a blank profile.
|by Anonymous||reply 373||07/28/2020|
i told one guy i was going thru a divoice. He asked guy or girl ? When i said guy , he blocked me. I guess he considered that "too gay"
|by Anonymous||reply 374||07/28/2020|
R374 I have a feeling that fits on the “married dick is hot dick” thread. They love the idea of providing something the wife isn’t.
|by Anonymous||reply 375||07/28/2020|
Yeah, because if a guy has sex with men on the side, it's his wife's fault
|by Anonymous||reply 376||07/28/2020|
[quote] i told one guy i was going thru a divoice. He asked guy or girl ? When i said guy , he blocked me. I guess he considered that "too gay"
He probably didn’t know what a divoice was.
Either that or you messaged him using the same grammar skills you’re showing here.
|by Anonymous||reply 377||Last Wednesday at 5:52 AM|
R377 Change your depends Ron .. or is it Don or Phil..or some other elder gay name.
|by Anonymous||reply 378||Last Wednesday at 7:23 AM|
I'll be "If I'm on here, I'm bored and horny." Apparently being bored is a huge aphrodisiac for gay men.
|by Anonymous||reply 379||Last Wednesday at 10:58 AM|
I'm health status "I don't know"
|by Anonymous||reply 380||Last Wednesday at 10:45 PM|
I’m “Happily partnered”.
No you aren’t, otherwise you wouldn’t be here looking for “friends”.
|by Anonymous||reply 381||Last Wednesday at 11:11 PM|
You can't expect me to pick friends who don't have 8-packs.
|by Anonymous||reply 382||Last Thursday at 4:17 AM|
I'm the alpha dog in the open relationship. I lay down the guidelines. Take it or leave it
|by Anonymous||reply 383||Last Thursday at 5:40 AM|
I’m the guy who is just looking for a nice guy. Unfortunately none of the trolls that lurk the site 24/7 are “nice” enough.
|by Anonymous||reply 384||Last Thursday at 8:53 AM|
I'm the guy who is ready to meet in person after weeks of chat but still no first name or face pic.
|by Anonymous||reply 385||Last Thursday at 6:43 PM|
that's most of them r385. Why would they add a face pic to their profile after meeting you?
|by Anonymous||reply 386||Last Friday at 5:08 AM|
This thread was funny
|by Anonymous||reply 387||Last Friday at 5:19 AM|
ummm, doesn't need to add to profile just but I'd like to know what you look like when I open the door. Your 1st name would be good especially when i offered up mine 1 week in. What am i missing?
|by Anonymous||reply 388||Last Friday at 5:19 AM|
The hot fun of anonymous sex, R388
|by Anonymous||reply 389||Last Friday at 6:03 AM|
And the chatting for “weeks”? FOH with that. Weeks?
|by Anonymous||reply 390||Last Friday at 6:19 AM|
so I'm learning its just anonymous, spontaneous hookups, or nothing at all. And most folks cant host
|by Anonymous||reply 391||Last Friday at 6:38 AM|
Welcome to Grindr and Scruff, r391!
|by Anonymous||reply 392||Last Friday at 6:42 AM|
I’m the shame and despair.
|by Anonymous||reply 393||Last Friday at 10:27 AM|
I'm the married guy just wanting to suck cock. I will roll over and throw my legs in the air because that's what I really want.
|by Anonymous||reply 394||Last Friday at 1:19 PM|
I'm the disappointed DLer that ended up with R394 who ran out the front door as soon as I lifted my caftan and presented hole.
|by Anonymous||reply 395||Last Friday at 3:20 PM|
I'm the naive, hot, shy, 19 year old kid who just wants to find someone special. I have not been disillusioned yet.
|by Anonymous||reply 396||Last Friday at 4:02 PM|
I'm Kevin Bacon, the guy killed by a grindr trick
|by Anonymous||reply 397||Last Friday at 5:18 PM|
I'm 35 and into older guys , which is stated on my profile. A 19yo kid messaged me and begged me to "shit" on him. He was a cute kid too. How does one get into such an extreme fetish at 19? I really wanted to ask "who hurt you?" I remember being his age and lusting after guys my age so I'm not going to hold that against him. But I just ignored him instead. It's going to be akward if I run into him in public.
|by Anonymous||reply 398||Last Friday at 7:23 PM|
I’m this stupid crooked smile in a selfie
|by Anonymous||reply 399||Last Friday at 7:46 PM|
I'm 'Undetectable'. You can TOTALLY trust me!
|by Anonymous||reply 400||Yesterday at 4:57 AM|
I’m “what part of undetectable = UNTRANSMITTABLE do you not understand???”
You WILL fuck my poz ass raw whether you like it or not and you’re an uneducated bigot if you don’t.
I’m also the asymptomatic gonorrhea infection gets doesn’t know he has. Tee hee!!
|by Anonymous||reply 401||Yesterday at 5:03 AM|
I’m the expiring close up dick pic. No one knows why I exist.
|by Anonymous||reply 402||Yesterday at 5:16 AM|
I’m the shaved pubes stubble
|by Anonymous||reply 403||Yesterday at 5:34 AM|
I like you, r403. Let’s meet and play
|by Anonymous||reply 404||Yesterday at 6:19 AM|
I'm the screenshot a troublemaker just took of somebody's Grindr profile to get him in trouble for cheating and/or to out him as gay to his family and friends. That's what you get for turning me down.
|by Anonymous||reply 405||Yesterday at 6:57 AM|
I’m the fake profile photo and the request for your phone number so we can chat directly because I need to be discreet
|by Anonymous||reply 406||Yesterday at 11:04 AM|
I'm "On PReP/Preexposure"... Which means I'm HIV-pos, or take extra precaution, or announcing I'm a cum-dump extraordinaire, or all of the above. Either way, I'm a whore, darlin'.
|by Anonymous||reply 407||13 hours ago|