Customer service people who use your first name

What do you want them to call you, Princess, "Your Royal Highness"?

It 's a psychological tactic, also used by authorities/police to get you to lower your defenses, and for then to assert dominance.

Customer service of all types is migrating towards this trend. It's to keep from offending anyone. I had a guest (I work at a hotel front desk) come up, and this person was very masculine-looking. I asked for the name on the reservation and it was something like Casey Smith (first name was definitely Casey). Without thinking I said, "Welcome to our hotel, Mr. Smith." This person replied that she was a woman. I profusely apologized--mostly out of embarrassment, and it turns out Casey (she told me to call her that) was in Vegas to get married to her partner (whom I assume was a woman, but I was afraid to ask at that point). Once I got her checked in, I went and told my manager what happened, just to cover my bases. He said customer service agents on the phone were doing the wise thing by just calling customers by their first names. I'm gay and have been called "ma'am" on the phone my whole life...it doesn't bother me. But some people get offended, and the gender of the person you're helping shouldn't matter, anyway.

r3 more than once has an attractive, rough-looking country dude from afar turned out to be a cast iron bull dagga up close.

R4, you made me chuckle. But it's true. And she was nice about the misunderstanding. Some aren't.

This has been going on in the south for decades. But they always preface your first name with "Mr. or Ms.".

OP, aka Letitia Baldrige, 1950 called, it wants you back

You're insecure and self important OP, be thankful people don't call you tosser

People like to hear their own name. People warm up to me and smile as soon as I start using their name during conversation and it works in customer service too. OP must hate himself,

I have a name that’s spelled unusually so whenever someone calls and mangles it, I immediately know it’s a sales call

I think they should all begin with "Is this the party to whom I am speaking?"

A capital offense

Whenever I interact with customers (only over the phone), I always begin by using their first name. As someone else mentioned, gender isn't always obvious for you to know "Mr." or "Ms." I talked to a male Audrey and a female Frank last week.

If I ask to speak with "Audrey" and they reply with something like, "This is Mr. So-and-so," then I'll switch to "Mr."

But honestly, the only people who ever correct me are doctors. "Yes, this is Dr. So-and-so," they always reply, with just a touch of a superior tone. And then I think, "If you were really so much better than me, maybe you could pay your loan back on time."

For heaven's sake, OP. Don't give them your first name. They are service people!

I hate this. Especially when addressing older people. It’s impolite.

[quote]OP must hate himself,

Well, his mother named him Hepzibah. Can you blame him?

Why can't you give me the RESPECT that I'm entitled to?? Why can't treat me, like I would be treated BY ANY STRANGER ON THE STREET?!

Remember, they're just shop girls.

R17 Because you would not buy one of our fans!

r5 One night I was out of town visiting a former roommate, and we went to the local GLBT hangout/lounge bar. My friend kept thanking the bartender with "yes ma'am" and addressing him as "miss" and I thought he was being catty, so I launched into a well-intentioned defense of effeminacy and gender labels, several times telling the bartender not to let my friend pick on him like that.

The bartender finally interrupted: "I'm a woman." I honestly thought she was a man.

Back on topic, I don't care for salespeople to repeatedly use my first name as if they know me like that. In certain ancient cultures knowing someone's name granted a certain amount of power and/or control so perhaps I'm reacting superstitiously, though it's definitely innate.

What bothers me is that when Person A tells Person B to call A by A’s first name, B really has no choice then but to allow A to call B by B’s first name. A man would come off as surly and hostile if someone he’s only just met said to him “Call me John” and the man replied, “Call me Mr Smith.” And God help the high falutin bitch of a woman who dares insist John call her Ms Smith. But it’s John who has done the wrong thing because he has effectively taken away Mr and Ms Smith’s choice in setting the terms for how they wish to be known and addressed by others who are not their familiars.

To be on a first name basis with someone is the product of a close relationship, not a precondition for it. Start on the formal level and let it naturally progress to something more casual. It makes being on a first name basis with someone more meaningful and sincere.

Also, get the fuck off my lawn and don’t you EVER try to hug me.

I don't like being called by my first name by strangers. I am old, and that's the way it is, Bub.

R14 = LaRue

My grandfather is 89. I take him on errands and everywhere we go people call him by his first name, he doesn't care. Except at the bank they call him Mr . They know how much money he has! My 92 year old neighbour is known by her first name and doesn't kick up a stink.

R14 r23

Don't you know it's bad luck to let retarded people into your home?

It's this ghastly age we live in; everything has become so common and vulgar.

Log into bank or credit card accounts and your're welcomed by your Christian name. Ring them on telephone and some Paki or other person halfway around world greets you using your Christian name, and continues on as if the two of you have been intimate friends for years.

r26 Who knew that Violet Crawley, Dowager Countess of Grantham is still alive! Why, you must be almost 200 years old!

R6

Since USC forbids American citizens from holding titles of royalty or nobility the aristocratic south had a problem; using someone's Christian name is vulgar and implies a level of informaility that made people uncomfortable. So you stick a "Miss" or "Mr." in front of things and there you are.

Mammy and other servants address the O'Hara girls as "Miss. Scarlett" and "Miss. Sue Ellen"... When Mr. Kennedy sees Scarlett in his store he adds a "Miss" onto her name each time he addresses her.

Blacks of course had "Mr. Charlie", and "Miss. Ann" when referring to certain whites.....

R21, you're just s repugnant sack of shit, having people address you by your last name won't change that.

I don’t mind that they use my first name. I hate when they assume I have a nickname.

My name pops up as “Matthew” on their computer screen, so they call me “Matt”

In real life, nobody calls me “Matt”. I hate it.

My name is right there, and they make something else up.

I prefer "Her Ladyship" or "Lady MARY!!!" personally.

It’s SPAAAAAAMMMM

My poor old Aunt Marjorie was often called Ma-JOR-ee. Once when she tried to correct it, the rep. answered, "Margarine?"

[quote]Also, get the fuck off my lawn and don’t you EVER try to hug me.

Calm down, R21. That's never going to happen. Not anywhere. Not by anyone. Not ever.

Depending on my mood, I will tell strangers on the phone not to use my first name. If I am face to face with a stranger who uses my first name, I don't generally care at all.