Someone is shitting in my backyard

Can't be Margot Kidder.

Did it smell and was there a wig lying around?

Fee Fi, Fo Fum i smell the shit of a homeless bum

Get a arlo or nest or something and catch the fucker.

Well at least they’re considerate to put paper underneath so it’s easier to clean up.

Is he wearing a mask?

Don't look at me. I'm dead.

Numerous public rest rooms across the country have been closed due to the pandemic, even those at gas stations.

The word you wanted to use was "woven."

You should be pleased. Poop is considered a gift in many suburban cultures. The trend must be spreading to the urban areas.

Spread the message; consider yourself an 'influencer.'

I just really don't like you OP.

OP obviously brings out the best in people.

You have all that space - a yard in an urban setting - and you can't share? What a prick.

It's a comment on your hideous home, OP.

(sigh) All the time and effort you put into this post, OP, and what did you learn? That you're a douche.

[quote]behind the air conditioner and under the window. The other night I swore I smelled cigarette smoke very nearby. Probably the A/C unit drawing it in.

Eww, you have a window air conditioner?

[quote] I have a 6 ft. fence around the yard, plastic privacy strips weaved through the links and locked gates.

Classy.

Hey, sorry ‘bout that. I see you do it OP, so I thought I “when in Rome.”

Here’s a pic of OP’s Rome.

^^ Paradise!

Well, OP, I knocked but you didn't answer.

Remember the DL haunted restroom, OP?

[quote]Ghostly grunts and groans emanate from within, and a malevolent odor lingers in the hall...

Have you tried sage, and rings of salt?

The ghost of Farah Fawcett. Still mad about Michael Jackson dying right after her and wiping her off the headlines. She takes random dumps in people's yards.

OP could be the culprit if he is taking Ambien at bed time.

OP, do you know of anyone who has a grudge against you. They could be the ones doing this shit...quite literally. Be careful if you buy the camera to catch them...if they're shitting in your yard--and on a piece of paper, at that--they're most likely batshit cray-cray.

For Christ’s sake, you live in the White House. Is it your wife? Your kids? The Secret Service? Exactly how many shits a day are you accounting for Mr. President?

Could it be Bai Ling?

Does it taste like human or animal shit?

No R26, Bai Ling would shit on the roof.

OP, Do you have doo-doo feces on the roof???

Did you ever fall foul of Amber Heard?

Have you tried leaving a return gift? Perhaps a lovely Asti Spumante?

You're saying someone crawls over a six foot privacy fence just to shit in your yard? And they bring a piece of paper?

Maybe it's a note to you. Go ahead, read the note.

OP, at least they're not shitting right on the A/C. Otherwise the shit would hit the fan.

The shit is coming from INSIDE THE HOUSE!

I call it performance art, OP.

Has anyone seen shitty little Anne?

Was Half Pint in the area?

Did she skip through the night and her glorious SHITBRA lost its ample contents?

It’s poo-pourri!

A homeless person could just dump in the alley or in a park. Hell, we used to have meth heads take dumps in front of where I work downtown, but mostly they'd go in the alley behind the building or by the dumpster. Get a camera if you're wondering.

Are they shitting bracks?

Go shit in your hat , OP!

you do need a security camera, OP - and a remote-controlled spray nozzle.

There's already been repeated thread after repeated thread on this OP. Why did you find it necessary to come here and start another? Why? Why OP? Can you give us an intelligent, honest answer? Can you? Why would you come here and post this kind of shit yet AGAIN when there have already been so many prior threads on this EXACT same subject. Do you really think this is that damned interesting that it warrants another entire thread to be started? DO YOU??

Why couldn't you have done a search first OP? That would have been the polite thing to do. What you demonstrated was just plain selfishness. You have shown that you don't think about anybody but yourself. It's all about you and your own satisfaction. Next time before you post, do us all a favor and do a search. We don't need another duplicate thread just because of your laziness.

It's probably a neighbor. If my neighbor had a chain link fence six feet high with plastic woven in the links, I'd shit in your yard, your drive, your car and sneak into your bedroom and leave you a present on your pillow. Don't you have restrictive covenants or an HOA?! The shit definitely goes with the fence as described!

R43 for real. OP deserves it.

Get a rimming chair and enjoy the feast of lava cake!

It's not me -- I'm socially isolating.

I'm out of town at the moment.

This concerns me greatly.

I was going to write a parody thread: “Someone is sitting in my back yard.” But where would it go?

Did you happen to see a glass coffee table?

[quote]Why would you come here and post this kind of shit yet AGAIN

Because someone keeps shitting in OP's back yard. It never gets old. Well, maybe it does, but then it dries out and shrivels, much like OP.

It's a shitty thing. A really shitty thing.

Where do you live OP?

Do raccoon and human feces usually resemble each other?

I think OP should go house to house up and down the street, asking each resiedent if it was them. Or their children.

Describe the situation fully.

My people's excrement looks like raccoon shit!

Is there a circus in town??

I’m sorry, I’m sorry, OP! All right, already!

In my defense, your backyard is very confusing, OP.

You’re the luckiest gal in town OP!!! How I wish to be you!

I am organizing a flash mob to shit in OP's front Yard all at once. Who's in?

Call the feces poleces.