Brooklyn Beckham Is Engaged to Actress Nicola Peltz.

Hasn't there been rumors that he's bi and that she's a lesbian?

He's like Lens Dunham... so plain, that even outright ugliness would be preferable.

The Beckham's have given 'their blessing'.? lol Of course, they did. This bitch be loaded, and the Beckham's need any wealth they can latch onto to prop up their failed business ventures and faded celebrity.

R3 precisely. And Btooklyn is homely as a badger

He's worked so so hard for everything he has.

Photographer? Does he take photos as a business outside of a few vanity ad campaigns he's gotten only because of his pedigree?

He looks so mehhhhh.

Wonderful! It will be his first bad marriage!

Why the hell is he engaged at 21. Idiot.

But r8 nails it, you might as well already call this his first marriage.

Can you just imagine the inane conversations these two have? Nothing except about drugs, drinking, followers and how awful their parents are. Except when he wants his allowance.

Did she ask for his hand in marriage?

Do you think they’ve had premarital sexual intercourse, fornication? I would hope both have respect for a chaste honeymoon evening.

A nobody marrying a nothing.

Do we get to see a picture of Victoria Beckham eating cake 🎂?

What? He’s old enough to shave?

This will last about 7 months.

Vicky will seize upon this to model some of her "fashions". Maybe she'll be allowed to design the wedding dress?

Starter Marriage 101

R1 Hasn't there been a rumor about everyone?

See the way his eyebrow splits? That's not being cool, that's from him repeatedly running into doors. Doof!

r16 It'll last as long as it has to so he can claim spousal support. Her parents are rich as fuck. Don't know what's in it for her - homely doofus that he is. Maybe a big cock?

Wow, r21, I had no idea her dad was worth $.1.7 billion.

Entitled think who was born with a silver in his mouth. Let’s wait n see how it’s gonna last. No job no skills no education, never has to work to earn money. Btw he’s ugly while his dad was a good looking man

Does anyone know if they are registered at Target or Bed Bath and Beyond? I would like to send a gift.

Its not like Brooklyn is hard up for money, he also comes from a family where he has never had to think about money r21.

Her brother has crazy eyes.

A perfect example of early onset resting bitch face- for both of them

Why is part of Beckham's right eyebrow missing?

affectation

R23 Why would he need any of those when he will never have to work a day in his life? You are just for the dumbest reasons

Oh for sure, r25. But I recall reading somewhere that her 'fashion empire' wasn't doing well, and he was sick of pumping money into it to keep it afloat and that their move to the US wasn't not as successful as they hoped because no one there gives a shit about the Beckhams. Can't supply links so maybe I should STFU. Nevertheless, Brooklyn has cash, but Nicola has lots more. Lucky dimwitted cunts. lol

I feel so old. I remember when his parents were young.

Ey up Becks, congratulations to you (and your lad). Bet you’ve forgotten what it’s like to be quids in by now, eh? Not to worry, though - any shit that needs silencing about you & yours on this side of the pond is well taken care of.

You must be dead proud. Look at the tits in that little blonde bastard! Brooklyn’s done right well there, hasn’t he? Top shagger like his dad, even if he is a softarse on the ball.

I take it my invite is on way in the post, and that no Scouse cunts will be in attendance or anywhere in the fucking vicinity, like that bad tramp Carragher (that’s one nice thing about America, innit? No bleeding Lemos...) Make sure you bully Butty & Scholesy into coming as well. Don’t bother about Our Philip, though; he don’t do well around celebs and tends to embarrass himself at public dos.

You don’t need me telling you, but word to the wise I’d think about bringing in a bit of heavy duty policing on the day as well, Rottweilers and choppers and all that - never know what mithering chancers might rock up after the ceremony and try to get a tic of Oxy off Our Vic. I’ve got connections in that department if you need owt.

Going to be a hell of a bloody shindig, this. Is Brooklyn having a mental stag like yours was? There’s probably still going to be some restrictions on us coming over for the wedding, but that didn’t stop us in Euro ‘96, did it lad? After all that fucking bollocks in Germany it’s no wonder we lost the plot! Them cheeky airport security fellas were taking the piss, honestly, I just couldn’t be arsed with it (you’ve not told Brooklyn that story, I hope...)

Right, seriously though, that’s enough fucking about down memory lane for now. Nice one Our Kid. Ina bit.

Brooklyn is better looking than that Rocco Ritchie could ever hope to be .

I'm embarrassed that I actually know who this guy is :(

Didn't his dad use to be hot?

This bitch is looking to get knocked up and cash in.

Trash meets trash.

Strange they had such a homely child

My loves, she used to date my son Anwar.

Ok Lemony.

And isn't there a rumor about Anwar along with one of his sister's not being straight r39.

Posh is going to be so pissed if her son makes her a grandmum before she's 50.

Anwar “dated” Kendall Jenner, R41

Anuswart.

She has one of the absolute worst reputations. She's apparently a real bitch and I do not know of a single person that has a good thing to say about her. But good for him, I guess.

[quote]She's apparently a real bitch and I do not know of a single person that has a good thing to say about her.

I guess she'll get along just fine with Victoria.

Sorry, but is should be "alleged" actress, OP.

His shaved eyebrow is so out there! That boys clearly spells "D-A-N-G-E-R"!

I hope they peltz them with rotten eggs.

The Chav is strong with this one

[quote]Hasn't there been rumors that he's bi and that she's a lesbian?

No. Only on DL is everyone gay or bi. Every other celeb is "really" gay according to DL.

Yes, the Chav, the Kevin, the Prole R50. He takes after his father. And after his mother, the alleged 'Posh'. Peltz-pere may be able to bung Posh and Becks some cash; I hear she is in trouble and has taken UK govt money to keep her alleged fashion business afloat.

Yeah, alleged multi millionaire Victoria took the government furlough money to pay her workers instead of using her own cash.

Reminds me of David's leaked emails where he pointedly and rudely refuses to put in any of his own money into the charity he is representing (in hopes of being made a "Sir").

The UK media had a big thing for this trashtastic couple for a long time but thankfully that obsession has moved on long ago. They must be gutted.

[quote] Reminds me of David's leaked emails where he pointedly and rudely refuses to put in any of his own money into the charity he is representing (in hopes of being made a "Sir").

Arise Sir David, as we all collapse in laughter. If he becomes Sir David, Posh becomes Lady Beckham: ha !

Those leaked emails were hilarious and totally destroyed his image as an easy-going, well-meaning guy. The greed, ambition and anger he vents didn't do his "brand" any favours.

[quote] The greed, ambition and anger he vents didn't do his "brand" any favours.

The leaked emails fucked him, completely. He couldn't even say that Posh put him up to it; it was, for once off the soccer pitch, all his own work. And he fucked it up.

A twat and a cunt. A match made in posh hell.

[quote]they think Brooklyn has landed on his feet.

Don’t you have to have a job and/or money of your own to “land on your feet”? Or does mummy and daddy writing a large allowance check each month count as his money?

And did this loser drop out of college or photography school or whatever it was?

R58 the inference is that this waster Brooklyn has landed on his feet by snagging a billionaire's daughter.

I can't believe he's David Beckham's son. Nothing to look at, at all.

[quote] I can't believe he's David Beckham's son. Nothing to look at, at all.

David = Nothing to look at, at all. At least he is friendly and smiles.

Posh = Nothing to look at, at all. She's not friendly and scowls.

Kid = Nothing to look at, at all. He has fallen on his feet and will be a kept man until the divorce in LA.

Gold-digger older broad.

Do Posh's kids speak with a British accent, or were they all raised in LA?

Posh's kids don't speak, that's why we have never heard any of them. David has a very high pitched voice, probably because of all the pegging he get from Posh.

I'm sure Posh Spice is looking forward to soon being called Gran Spice. I pray I live to see it.

[quote] I'm sure Posh Spice is looking forward to soon being called Gran Spice. I pray I live to see it.

It doesn't matter what she is called. She has always been dissatisfied by micro-dick David; as she told Kim, she want BBC like Kanye whether or not he is a loony. And can Kanye fuck David as well please?

In R22's link, it says her dad has 10 kids. Them bitches gonna be fighting to the death for that money when he dies!

Their kids are going to be fugly as fuck with Brooklyn’s beady eyes and low set brows, and Nicole’s pre-plastic surgery face especially her Jay Leno chin.

Rich peasants

Who's been in Brooklyn?

He’s nasty. He must have been dropped when he was a baby.

[quote]He must have been dropped when he was a baby.

Not by me, since I never held him.

[quote] Who's been in Brooklyn?

Who would want to be in him?

Damn, that girl got great surgery.

She acted in 'Transformers', so one can assume that she's one of the scores of young women who've been ravaged by Michael Bay.

That 'girl' is trans.

R75, if she comes from a billion dollar family, I doubt she had to.

God damn....her twin bros got a $2M Bar Mitzvah

STOP Nelson? That's a name for a Jew? I rebel.

Well, his grandfather was named Adolph, so...

Yes R80, but not Adolf

Isn't Nelson Muntz Jewish?

She is a Jew, so what?

Who was saying it was bad that she is Jewish? Her mom's a shiksa, btw.

Then she's not a Jew is mom's a shiksa.

Another case of non-Jews getting all the money cause mom's a shiksa

An absholute nornshense.

[quote] her dad has 10 kids.

That’s only one short of a starting XI!

R85 The only way we can get their money.

What an insatiable bottom. I'll give this marriage 2 years.

[quote]I'll give this marriage 2 years.

Is that counting divorce proceedings?

She has Pug face. She is NOT beautiful, not before her surgery and definitely not now.

That's the oldest looking 21 year old I've ever seen.

British inbred genes are a bitch

Damn that kid is uglier than Rocco Richie

It is funny that one feature that is distinctively British is that pug nose like a British Bulldog - that girl who played Arya Stark has "British face"

I don't even know these people, but it only took one look and: No. Just: No.

Are his parents still going to give him an allowance after he's married?

Her parents must be dying

Don’t mutilate the the boys.

he looks much better.

hopefully, rocco will grow into his face.

[quote]Are his parents still going to give him an allowance after he's married?

Only if he consummates the marriage on the first night. And yes, the whole family will be watching.

I thought he was the gay one? or is that his little brother? Anyways, 21 is far too young to get engaged. This won't last.

So many jealous souls of these people's wealth

R102 I've earned more money in the past week than he's earned in his entire life

Her lip injections ruined her face; she was pretty even before her surgeries but with them, prior to the lip injections, she nearly looked like Amber Heard.

Is he going to take some time out of the happy day to snap some world class photographs?

She is an uglier Chloe Grace Mireya.

*moretz

R103 Sure you had, but his parents are millionaires, and his fiance' parents billionaires. And he didn't even have to move a muscle. So yeah, he wins and you are jelly

Now I seriously want a copy of the guestlist. If neither Auntie Emma nor Uncle Gary are invited then I riot.

[quote] Brooklyn was spotted going shirtless while playing soccer with his dad and brothers in Florida.

Ah ha! The real story.

What is Brooklyn’s best position? Which foot does he favour? Can he deliver a decent pass? Is his pace better than his dad’s was? Is his accuracy as good? Can he handle a dead ball well? So many questions.

He was a cute kid but grew out of that.

He lives with his parents. Are his parents going to buy him a home and give him money to buy food and pay for his utilities

She may come from money, but her parents aren't going to want to support the both of them

[quote] Brooklyn was spotted going shirtless

Gross.

Why not, r112? A billionaire can afford to give a hundred million to his daughter.

"after a few previous rocky relationships, they think Brooklyn has landed on his feet.”

He's 21 years of age, not educated, not a very good photographer.....talk about low expectations.

R91 Indeed.

A pig in lipstick.

That still ain't gonna get Daddy David his knighthood.

How can such a hot father have such a plain son? Weird.

y'all are crazy David was hot as hell

his son not so much, but I'm sure he's a good boy and he tries his best.

[quote] How can such a hot father have such a plain son?

Because the plain son's mother is a fugly bitch.

she looks ok, but the kid looks like her and that face does not look good on a man. shame

also I assume shes had gallons of plastic surgery

R116 well, two beautiful women in one family would be surplus to requirements.

R115 Rankin publicly admitted that Brooklyn was not a decent intern. The Independent then ripped the boy to shreds.

She was the weakest link in Bates Motel. Rushing into marriage, and at a young age, is beyond stupid.

R123, where is the link to the Independent?

R2 is on point. I can’t believe that he is signed up with a modeling agency. On what planet? His mom is no beauty.

The articles at R123 makes BB out to be somewhat spoiled.

[post redacted because independent.co.uk thinks that links to their ridiculous rag are a bad thing. Somebody might want to tell them how the internet works. Or not. We don't really care. They do suck though. Our advice is that you should not click on the link and whatever you do, don't read their truly terrible articles.]

Any spawn of celebs can be models these days. Dough faced Gigi Hadid and her ghoulish looking sister are considered top models

@R123, thank you!

Arise Sir David Beckham and Lady Victoria!

[quote]Any spawn of celebs can be models these days. Dough faced Gigi Hadid and her ghoulish looking sister are considered top models

How come Sadie Sandler didn't become a model? She used to be adorable, reminds me of a small Joy Behar.

Why are people fawning over Brooklyn?

Who the hell encourages a 21-year-old to get married...unless he's already knocked up his girlfriend.

Here's what I don't get: his parents could get him the best training to be a great or even good photographer.

Frankly, I’m astonished that David & Victoria are still going strong.

That’s one thing for which you can’t criticise a WAG. Most of them will stand stalwart by their man to the bitter end, even through public floggings or humiliation from their husbands. See: Cheryl Cole, Georgina Rodriguez, Colleen Rooney, Abbey Clancy, Toni Terry, and many others. Caroline Lijnen, Melanie Rickinger, and Vanessa Perroncel are exceptions to a general rule.

Anyone else missing FOOTBALLERS’ WIVES all of a sudden?

Never forget David has his kid's name as a TRAMP STAMP

Her parents are no walk in the park

How hilarious is this? He's selling this photo

If this boy insists on going unclothed in the media he needs to improve his physique.

This must have been the photo shoot where he brought his own hair/makeup and entourage

So how did this engagement go down? Did he use his mom and dad's credit card to buy the ring or did the jewelry store bill Victoria and David directly?

Or did she buy her own ring?

R142 I’ve not even seen the rock. Is it as big and as flash as Vic’s?

Amusing that Brooklyn posted That Wedding Photo of Posh & Becks on their anniversary this year.

"This must have been the photo shoot where he brought his own hair/makeup and entourage"

That's the one. He was the goddam photographer ffs.

Doughy should not equal showy.

These kids just lack the natural charm of the cute fresh-faced ‘90s lovers David & Victoria. The O.G. Beckhams were far more likeable, especially when they were unpolished, and unafraid to be their true chavvy selves. Too much money and too much branding has taken all the fun and joy out of it.

Brooklyn has, I suspect, believed his own press for some time now.

I must be one of the few people who never found DB hot. His beady eyes and low brows made him unattractive IMO. Posh’s OG nose was very porcine in appearance. None of their kids are pretty.

This boy is really not attractive at all. Totally average in every way. Wouldn’t warrant a second glance if passed on the street.

Cute link

Now I know why Nigella Lawson says that she’s not leaving her kids jack.

R146 found a pic, an archived pic natch, of Posh smiling. That must have been the last time she smiled, that hatchet-faced bitch.

As R145 says, "Doughy should not equal showy." Brooks is just not attractive.

Posh wasn't much to look at pre-surgery.

The whole family is hideous.

r17 Blind item: Always struggling for money for her fashion line and investors wary after tons of losses, this foreign born A- list celebrity has a plan. She is going to start a new line with a future family member and get them to invest their money. Victoria Beckham/son Brooklyn Beckham’s fiancee Nicola Peltz

Good luck with that R155: a Peltz and his money are not easily separated.

It’s hard to understand how David copes with this family and his marriage anymore. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not putting an obscenely undeservedly-rich man who fucked off to Corporate America, but there is more to life that he does seem to lack as basic fulfilment.

He was like a different person when young, just blissfully running about a pitch with his mates and with no ambition to be rich or a pin-up or a brand. Whether you liked him or not, football was his life and he loved to play and be involved. I get the feeling he most of all misses the business of footie in England, and would ideally come back to work with the EPL, were it not for the wife & kids. All he does in sport at the moment is sit on the board of Inter Miami, occasional charity appearances (Sport Relief), and private kickabouts at home with his kids. He does have a stake in Gary Neville’s Salford, but that is only 10% and in name only.

Brooklyn is the definition of basic.

R155 she’s shameless. The militant tenacious hustle is almost admirable.

David Beckham showing same-sex affection is my anti-drug tbh. Brooklyn ought to give it a go, it’s great for ratings.

.....

With Brooks💕

They are both gross in R162, the son more than the father.

All the trashy tattoos don't improve his looks.

There are no looks to start with, esp on son.

Is Beckham bisexual? Asking for a friend.

Which Beckham R166?

David r167.

Victoria said she was going to stick her mascara brush up David in that interview if he disagreed with her. David just grinned; so, I imagined the pegging is a thing with him, with her doing the pegging. and not just a mascara brush.

There have been various rumors over the years about David fucking around Victoria with others.

Nicola's face before the plastic surgery was quite UGLY, but her Dad's a Billionaire with a B and Victoria is going to be getting her new daughter in law to bail out her failing clothing line to the tune of $200 million. Otherwise, Brooklyn will be ordered to divorce her.

I know its 2020 but her parents may not allow them to live together unless they are engaged to be married. All that cash cut off...

Peltz does not bail out anyone. He's only got a billion ffs. There's no extra cash. I assume there will be a prenup.

Also, Brooklyn Bridge may be engaged to Verra Zzano.

Brooks could have gone for any one of the the many pretty daughters of other ex-players & managers, like a real dynasty.

Matilda ‘Tita’ Mourinho is cute, and only 23. Controversy creates cash, after all...

Little Harper is obviously Daddy’s favourite. She’s also the best on the ball.

I hope they name their first born Bronx, or Harlem.

That's the first time I think I've ever seen Mourinho smile. Is his wife Asian? I never saw his family before.

[quote]I hope they name their first born Bronx, or Harlem.

Hell’s Kitchen.

Or Queens.

Staten

Kitchen Beckham

Jersey Beckham

R152 ⬇️there’s a part two to the photoshoot that’s even more sweet.

As you say, a rare find in Beckhamabilia to come across a pic where both Posh & Daivid are smiling properly or showing real intimacy toward one instead of the camera.

[quote] There have been various rumors over the years about David fucking around Victoria with others

They weren't rumors. The beckhams have pretty much admitted as much

Who would want to fuck either of them now?

Victoria and David have herpes

So does 80% of the population.

Apparently Brooklyn has a matching tattoo with David (the feathers one). That’s...a bit weird, innit?

It is quite sad that he gave up playing footie because of the pressure and scrutiny from spectators, as he played all the way through his adolescence and enjoyed it. It’s a tough old game though, especially now in this world of big money and HD cameras, so maybe a delicate boy like him is better off out of the world of sport.

It’s odd he’s retained such a London twang being out of the country so long, as well. Wonder if he’ll ever come back?

R188 He doesn't look bad there, though the ink is mostly hidden. I can understand him not wanting to be compared with Becks all the time, though that's going to happen anyway.

This kid's still got pimples and seems to barely out of puberty. He is a late developer. Why is he marrying now? He is not mature.

Imagine all the access Brooklyn has had to footballer Daddies...

Hopefully he’s given prime sportsman dick a good try before committing to hetero marriage. In the gay world he’s still got several years of Twinkhood left.

R191 Yes, the boy could have as much footballer dick as he wanted. Imagine the shame of being told that your ass isn't as good as your fathers.

It’s a shame he’s so entitled he doesn’t want to do the hard work to hone his craft. He has all the time and money to study and learn photography and really get good at it. And all the connections to mentor with top photographers. Most aspiring photographers have to spend their time working.shitty jobs or photographing weddings just to make ends meet.

The problem with technology I’d everyone thinks being a good DJ, photographer, filmmaker etc is just interest and buying a device - not developing skills, training, etc

Is he going to do the photos and the video for his own wedding? Or is that too plebeian for Young Master Posh?

This interview remains a hilarious classic. He really took the piss out of both of them. At least they were good sports about it.

That was a long time ago in a far-away galaxy where Posh last smiled R195.

“You went and spent four years in the Galaxy; coincidentally, that’s how long it takes your wife to eat one.”

Another reason for Posh not to smile: her David has failed to get a knighthood while that lout Botham is set for the House of Lords (not the DL House of Lords, the 'real' one).

Hilarious that the Beckham spawn (two of them eligible twinks, no less) are all so boring and unworthy of star status that we’ve once again resorted to discussing Mum & Dad ad infinitum. Who would have predicted back in 2000 that David Beckham’s fêted eldest son marries a billionairess yet even football fans & Star/Sun/Heat! readers are not arsed😂😂

R195 I love Victoria in that interview. She’s a brilliant sport as well as genuinely quick with a rebutting line, looking effortlessly glam and sexy in a fun sparkly youthful way (that pixie chop is *Chef’s kiss*), and has a very cute dazzling smile. Her energy is fantastic, emanating off her. While in that clip she was still a bit on the skinny side and seems to have been enjoying some *ahem* sugar in her tea, I see what straight men would see in the woman shown. But I suppose she was still in Spice Mode back then, a world away from the drab frail-looking penny-pinching sourpuss we know her to be today. I get that no-one can stay a sparkly idol forever, but did it have to go so wrong so quickly? (and for nothing?)

Fellow Spice Emma ‘Baby’ (urgh, but it’s ‘Cheeky’ now for the PC Crowd, isn’t it?) Bunton stayed friendly, animated and physically appealing long into her thirties, after she had kids and gave up being a full-time pop performer (to do Loose Women, or Heart Radio? Idk whatever it was).

[quote] I get that no-one can stay a sparkly idol forever, but did it have to go so wrong so quickly? (and for nothing?)

She needs a government bailout.

R195 “no disrespect to your bitch” had me dead.

She's...not wrong.

But the revelations come after Brooklyn's ex Lexy Panterra claimed he is 'way too immature to get married'.

The 30-year-old dancer, who dated Brooklyn for 12 months, spoke of her shock at the engagement and admitted she had doubts about the upcoming nuptials.

She told The Sun: 'I was pretty shocked and confused when I heard he got engaged. It's not something anyone was expecting and, honestly, Brooklyn is not ready for that. He is very young and way too immature.

'I don't know why he falls in love every few minutes. There is no consistency in his relationships. He has a new chick every month, so it's surprising he would try to do this.'

Brooklyn and Lexy first met at the Coachella festival in 2017 but their romance fizzled out at the end of last year blaming the age gap and long-distance.

She added: 'We never talked about getting engaged. I would never have considered marrying Brooklyn. For what? There is nothing he could have brought to the table beside his family's money and I don't need that.'

[quote] She added: 'We never talked about getting engaged. I would never have considered marrying Brooklyn. For what? There is nothing he could have brought to the table beside his family's money and I don't need that.'

Meow!

Anyone getting married that young needs their head examined. You grow so much in your 20s. Most 30 year olds dont recognize themselves at 20.

R169 realistically, would Vic ever have had the strength to fuck a man of David’s size to satisfaction? Footballers are all lean and they do get smaller into retirement, but he works out often and is still rather big & tall. Just from a physical point of views I could sooner picture Vic pegging another woman.

Not that David doesn’t look like he craves a good seeing to. You can see it in his eyes.

All that ink is soooo trashy.

R206 what's trashy about putting your kid's name on your ass?

R42 Imagining Becks as a grandad is just wrong, somehow.

There’s a part of David that will eternally be a gangly golden stringy-haired young Spiceboy, big number emblazoned 23 on his back, crossing it box to box. Suppose that’s his reward for years of hassle and for sacrificing his identity to be an Icon(TM).

Brooklyn, you in danger gurl! Getting married that young is never a good idea, just ask Armie Hammer.

R209 Sssh, don't provoke the Charmies.

21 is too young to be engaged and certainly too young to be married.

In OP's pic, they looks like h.s. students who got pregnant and feel obligated to get married.

She could do a lot better. She’s very attractive, has very rich parents and has been in a major movie.

This ship is sinking, and as a profitable celebrity unit this family is dead in the water. If David had any working braincells left he’d abandon all hope and swim for land by himself (or with Harper on his back). He has million-dollar mates, international stardom, and the backing of an entire global cartel behind him to get back on his feet and go it alone back at home whenever he finally decides he wants to.

Deservedly or not, if he asked they’d probably give him the Vice-Management position of Man U under Ole and/or a chair on The F.A., straightaway with no questions asked. Murdoch would cut off his right ball to get Becks on Sky Sports punditry, no matter if he can’t talk.

......

omg, she is a generic hwood used up starlet, he could hve done so much better.......im shocked.

His moms icky clothing line is finally collapsing, they need $....maybe this ho will model for her and bankrupt it for good.

R215 fucksake David. Italians can’t play decent competitive footie without cheating, and you know it.

There are rumors that Brooklyn and Nicola have secretly gotten married already.

it will probably be a fake marriage like how jen anniston "married" that guy. it was not a legal marriage.

this is probably to raise their public profile and get freebies.

R220 what’s funny is, the Beckhams will assume the exclusive the media want is first dibs at photos of the happy dullard couple (and the mother & father of the groom, of course) posing pained and artificially, surrounded by dour ‘Sleb guests (current U.S. popstars, current U.S. models, current U.S. moguls, arty do-nothings from Manhattan, a few British politicians if possible) standing around as their extras in the tone-deaf but starkly sleek resplendence of the wedding venue (under Victoria’s purview, naturally). They’ll try to pitch it to Vogue and the like.

They will either fail to realise or deliberately ignore that what the people really want to see leaked video of tipsy Brooklyn on his stag do, half-naked and crawling all over his cute twenty-something mates in a very homoerotic manner. Then we anticipate the rebuttal, in the form of splashy Heat! & Hello! magazine glossies depicting a chavtastic blowout wedding in the classic WAG style, studded with the entire Milan first team and vintage famous friends of Mum & Dad who spend the night doing cringey but hilarious things all middle-aged British people do at weddings (maybe Geri attempts karaoke, or Giggsy starts a Macarena). Bonus if at some point there are shadowy clips caught of David & Vic having a drunken set-to during the proceedings, and David leaves conspicuously and impolitely early with a hunky male friend.

Something about Victoria’s attachment to Brooklyn is a bit...weird, isn’t it? Is he Mummy’s boy?

Outside of Victoria's store.