Which One Of You Tastefully Pretentious Bitches of a Certain Age Put Your Weekend House On The Market? Part Quatre

That disco ball is so low it'll knock over the utensil crock if you turn it on.

And yet I feel it's still too tasteful to be a Datalounger's abode.

He put a limited edition Shepard Fairey print about W bombing babies in the bathroom just centimeters away from the shower. Sure, why not.

I love CT. So many beautiful houses on lots of land.

I hate the way it's decorated but I love the house and the property. Love, love love the land.

A swim pond.

Hideous interior. House and grounds are magnificent.

Mother always said I had an eye for design!

Was your mother Helen Keller?

I want to see the enema room. There is an enema room, isn't there? For that kind of money there better be.

This properties main selling point is the size of the lot.

Even though I am ultra liberal and share many characteristics with city dwellers I cannot for the life of me understand why people want to live like sardines in a can.

I would rather live in a mobile home on a 24 acre lot than live in a McMansion on a lot 1 acre or less. Or worse yet living in a building with a couple of hundred other people.

The house looks huge and rambling in the photos but then is less than 4000 sq feet? The rooms must be small. It looks like a peaceful place to get away from city life.

Oh, Lord!

The green living room with taxidermied Michael Avenatti and his Yorkie squatting to take a poo on the sofa is not to anyone's taste.

Throw in the disco ball in the kitchen and it is a NO SALE.

I bet that poor house wishes it could regurgitate all that hideous decor out onto the lawn. I like lots of crap myself,but there was very little of the plethora he had crammed in there that Id actually keep.

It’s lovely, and the area is generally beautiful and upscale. But the nearest city is Waterbury. Ew.

I like the house itself (minus the furnishings) and the property is absolutely irresistible to an aspiring water gardener (me). The furnishings themselves are so.......eclectic, that there were actually individual pieces I would keep while disposing of the majority. And that barn gave me flashbacks of 'The Other' and I halfway expected to see a pickled punk on display.

If you're going to list a house at $1.6M, don't market it with photos taken on your fucking iPhone. Hire a goddamn professional real estate photographer. That agent should be drawn and quartered.

Good house/Bad feng shui

Needs subway tiles.

I was indifferent until I saw the pond.

That cooktop looks like a house fire waiting to happen.

That house deserves new owners.

R16, I agree that a good real estate photographer is essential (especially for $$ properties).

BUT they skew the perspective and it’s hard to get a good idea of scale. So a place looks great and grand in the photos and then you see it in real life. It’s disappointing.

^ a lot like Grindr then.

Well.....isn't that ..... something.

Although a lot of house and land for the $$. $1.6 mil won't get you an 1100sf 1 bed bungalow in parts of Bay Area and LA.

Could the photographer have increased the color saturation on the photos any more?

What are the two square sections on the fireplace for?

Why is the desk facing the middle of the wall?

It’s a colonial glory hole, Rose.

Can we negotiate a lower price?

For some reason, it cracks me up that the outdoor table is set for a meal of sushi.

The grounds are beautiful. Both the exterior and the interior are hideous.

Stupid tasteless faggots.

Agreed, R32. Virtually every room is ghastly.

Love the upstairs hallway of tiny closets and cabinets, though, under the slanted, low ceiling.

Well it certainly is interesting with all that stuff in there. Love the babbling brook for sure.

Why oh why is the owner in the photo? Maybe he's for sale too.

I'm guessing that the owner fancies themselves a photographer as well as a decorator and didn't let the listing agent stage or photograph it properly. It's a once isolated location that has subdivisions and a golf course nearby.

The professional photos are up, and it does look better. Not sure why they didn't wait a week and not embarrass themselves.

Am I missing the disco ball or did they get rid of it? I

It has its charms but the living room is vile.

And for a space with so much property, the exterior seems to be painfully plain - no charming sitting area anywhere, or garden space?

(yes, there is a bit of a porch in front and back, but very small and not very well developed for the space)

[quote] If you're going to list a house at $1.6M, don't market it with photos taken on your fucking iPhone. Hire a goddamn professional real estate photographer. That agent should be drawn and quartered.

Agreed, but perhaps COVID has gotten in the way of coordinating that and/or hiring someone.

I like that part of Connecticut and it has a concentration of great houses.

This isn't one. Not the house, it the land, not the interiors, and, just to be kind, nevermind the personal effects and decorating choices.

It looks for all the world like the weekend home of a gay man who is a TV network executive who's too much about his career to have acquired any taste in life.

"Do you love it? Do you love it? I love it!"

I imagine all the guest bedrooms and cottages teeming with assistants and one poor semi-celebrity guest dragged out there for the weekend in a futile attempt to rescue a sinking ship of a career. And each such guest gets to design one room from a storeroom of furniture and odd bits--"How high was I?" designer mistakes-- in one of the barns. Blenders whirring, "wheat grass and kombucha smoothies? Who wants one before the nutrients evaporate?"

An ugly, low ceilinged madhouse.

The visible propane tanks remind me of my youth in a trailer park.

WTF? Love everything about it, ironic disco ball in kitchen included.

My 1brm 140 year old shack in SF that I bought in 1993 appraised at slightly more than this wonderland.

Except for the pond that is probably laden with Lyme Disease carrying ticks. What's the catch? Haven't been to CT, and visited the East Coast only a half dozen times, but is living there that bad? With real estate so cheap there, there must be something wrong. I understand that CT is very, very fluorescent White preppy, and looking at the map, it does look like it is in the middle of nowhere. So, what do people do there? Maybe spend all summer cleaning the toilets in their 6 bathrooms. You could drive over to the coast, but the Atlantic ocean is so boring. Perhaps these factors contribute to the low price.

And why the huge barns? Do they raise gay cattle? Or just grow weed?

Well, for starters, R44, A one-bedroom shack really shouldn't cost 1.6 million. Your ideas of pricing MAY be warped.

Ok. So the disco kitchen ball is gone but now you notice the GIGANTIC, HIDEOUS, Gothic wood kitchen island.

What a relief that the taxidermied Michael Avenati and his squating Yorkie have been yanked from the diabolical green living room.

The combined rent equals $50,000 a year, but the leases are on a month to month basis. What could possibly go wrong there?

I like a lot of it, but it is 100 years old. Could turn out to be a money pit, even with the current renovation.

I do not like that cooktop in the middle of that huge wooden island thingy. When they did the renovation, why on earth didn't they paint the exterior?

Apparently, you can buy it fully furnished if you'd like.

[R44], it's on a large lot with a gorgeous view. And apparently some people enjoy living here so much that they're willing to pay for the privilege. Have been here all of my life, so yeah, I am warped.

That all-green room makes me want to kill myself.

I didn't see either the disco ball or the owner in the photos.

Thanks for identifying the print in the bathroom, R2. Maybe the owner IS Shepard Fairey.

What is the term for the faucet in the kitchen sink? I hate them.

The high gloss green/turquoise room is little much and I hate driving through Waterbury.

The entire front yard looks almost like what you would find in a trailer park. Just badly, badly maintained exterior.

The virtual tour has retained the original photos of the owner, the Yorkie, etc. Don't forget the disco ball.

Thanks, R53. Yikes!

It’s not a good location. If it were closer to Washington, it would be at least twice the cost.

Thank you for your input, Little Glory, @ R55

Perhaps I missed it but in all those bathrooms I saw only showers and not a single bathtub. Pass.

“You may do anything you like...out here...where nobody could hear you...all alone...we sit to pee in this bathroom. You like my curtain tieback collection? We sit to pee in this bathroom as well. You know what? The floors are fucking wood. We have to sit to pee.”

That tree's going to have to come down..

Lived nearby for years. Beautiful area but this is definitely on the edge of it. Waterbury used to have the only gay bar up there. But otherwise a waste of a town - like most CT cities. When you’re there you stay on your property since there is nowhere to go really. There are almost no nice restaurants up there. Unlike the Hamptons, it is not a social scene. You just stay at your house - so as long as the property is secluded, the surroundings are less relevant.

It's not like you'll be A-Rod sitting on the can in NYC, reading text messages.

Why would any condo developer have a bathroom that is fully visible through a window?!

eta ^^^ The most hilarious thing is the monogrammed towel with the giant "A."

I love this property. And once you get rid of all the furniture and pain the walls, the house could be pretty great too. I'd love it.

[quote] I love this property. And once you get rid of all the furniture and pain the walls, the house could be pretty great too. I'd love it.

Both the exterior and the interior are horrid.

No, they aren't.

One of the best reasons to be rich is that you get to have a super expensive range hood. And this place has none at all? Madness.

That Antelope wasn't shot. It died because it crashed into a wall running away at high speed from the hideous decor.

The listing states that there is a "walk in" fireplace. Who the hell was the original owner? Torquemada?

That high gloss green paint angers me.

Hey R68, I grew up in a house in the Pennsylvania countryside built in 1800 and we had 2 walk in fireplaces. We had a guesthouse with an even bigger fireplace where 4 of us could have had dinner.

I loved that as a kid.

12 minutes from Metro North *where*?

[quote]The house can come fully furnished...

That's what I'm afraid of!

everyone here is peur and on typing away from their rent controlled laptop in Ham Heights.

^ At least our typing is coherent.