Let's Be All in the Family

I'm Mike's blue denim shirt.

I'm the unseen flushing turlet.

Let me show you some diplomacy. That's getting two people to do something, they don't want to do; by promising each of them you'll do something; you have no intention of ever doing.

It's easy to be generous when it ain't costing you nothing

I'm Archie's yellow beer can.

I'm the outside of the house that doesn't match the inside of the house.

I'm Mike's hairy chest and forearms which fascinated me as a gayling.

I'm Irene Lorenzo. I walk in without knocking.

I'm Tony Geary, getting a role I was really suited for.

I'm Phil Carey, getting the role I was suited for.

I'm Archie referring to Edith's gynecologist as a "groinacologist"

I'm all the shouting they do on this show and every other Norman Lear production.

I'm Isabel Sanford, biding my time until Sherman Helmsley is available to begin filming our sitcom which is much superior to this dreck.

I'm Helen Girlie Steinway.

I’m nudal frontity.

I’m Gloria’s annoying wailing.

I'm the Reverend Feltcher. Only gay men giggle at this name.

I'm the ass smell from Archie's armchair.

I'm the shark that was jumped in the 9th season.

I'm a queen in Queens.

I'm Gloria's five inch (or is it six inch?) platform shoes.

I'm the over-the-top scenery chewing, hammy acting and lack of any type of directorial restraint that took over after Season Four.

I'm the first episode where Edith was just a sarcastic Queens housewife before she was told to amp it up and became the screechy dingbat.

I'm "Till Death Us Do Part" the British show that All In The Family was based on.

I'm Sammy Davis Jr., and I can tell Archie is trying not to mention my glass eye or my Jewish heritage.

I'm the "Edith almost gets raped" episode. I'm one of the many reasons why "All in the Family" was considered to be a show ahead of its time.

[quote]I'm the shark that was jumped in the 9th season.

And they renamed me "Archie Bunker's Place."

Then just as we thought we had killed the concept, "Gloria" pops up.

true story...they used to rinse Archie's white shirts in Lipton's tea to get that look...........

I am the Cling Peaches in Heavy Syrup.

Stifle!

Never fear....Cousin Maude is here!

Yes, R31! The first social justice warrior!

As part of my contract with CBS, I had to develop other shows. I stumbled on the idea of playing Eleanor Roosevelt and it worked so well that I continued portraying her, even giving one woman performances at the Roosevelt Estate in Hyde Park, NY.

I'm Beverly LaSalle.

R34 Howzahbout that, so's R20

I'm cling peaches in heavy syrup.

R36, Howzahbout that, so's R29

I"m Mike Stivic and I'm a college student even though I look 40 years old and am obviously wearing a hairpiece.

I’m Gloria’s crazy platform heels from the first couple of seasons.

I’m a kleppah!!!!

R39, R21 estimated them to be 5 or 6 inches. Crazy indeed.

Boy, the way Glenn Miller played...

I'm Bernadette Peters. I appeared as one of Mike's classmates who tries to seduce him. (As if!)

[quote]Boy, the way Glenn Miller played...

Gee, Beverly LaSalle ran great!

I’m the anatomically-correct Baby Joey doll that was some kind of spinoff merch.

(Yes, it had a little rubbery penis. Had one of those because my progressive mother was all about body positivity and shit back in the 70s. I’m a woman and I guess it wasn’t a bad thing. It wasn’t a good doll to play dolls with, and the experiment wasn’t every repeated by any other doll maker, that I know of.)

I'm Episcopalians. Archie and Edith are Episcopalians. That never made sense to me.

I'm Theresa who rented a room from the Bunkers and then quickly disappeared.

I am Edith's slipper that he found under the bed after coming back from her funeral.

I'm Gloria's Little Orphan Annie perm from the first season.

I'm the sudden serious moment.

I’m Cream of Wheat with cheese.

I’m light but I bind.

I'm that new TV show [italic]Levine and Shirley.[/italic]

I'm Barney Hefner. I moonlighted as a butcher.

We're [italic]Justice for All[/italic] and [italic]Those Were the Days.[/italic]

I'm "taped live in front of a studio audience"

I'm Moose Hansen, captain of the Cannon Bowlers bowling team.

I'm the very unpleasant actress who played Maude's daughter in the one episode and also a former girlfriend of Meathead's in another.

I’m the dead tranny.

R44 it took me nearly half a lifetime to understand that lyric!

I'm Danielle Brisebois, whose humorless poker face was like a turd in the punchbowl.

I'm Archie's friend Stretch Cunningham who punked him by being Jewish all along.

And I'm Archie's lawyers, "Seven savage Jews that won't leave a bone on your body "

I'm the delicious custard "good for the tum-tum"

I'm the record player and albums in Mike and Gloria's bedroom.

I am that Brunette Wig Gloria wore that got Mike so hot & bothered because she looked so different he felt like he was fooling around with another gal!

I'm Georgie. I fixed Mr. Bunker's door. I liked Gloria.

We’re Rue McLanaghan and Vincent Gardenia. We play swingers in an episode in Season 3.

How many of my TV fans knew I played Mrs. Strakosh in Funny Girl and Sue Summers of Susanswerphone in Bells Are Ringing on Broadway?

I'm the Oh, Dear troll. Rue McLanaghan?

I'm Mildred Turner .

I'm Edith's Rapist. I'm HOT .

I'm the commune in California .

I'm Cousin MAUDE .

I'm Archie and Edith , waving bye to Gloria , Mike and Joey .

I am Archie's plaid coat and hat, hung on the peg by the door right before he demands a beer from Edith.

I'm the station wagon full of nuns.

I'm the jello molds on the kitchen wall, that look vaguely obscene.

I'm the same white shirt that Archie wore in literally every single episode.

I'm Archie and Edith. We're 46 and 47 years old in real life but look like we're 65. And no, we're not wearing any aging makeup.

We show how much better older people look today than back then.

I’m the porcelain panther on the top of the tv

I'm Louise Jefferson in R67's episode, shocked at the classified ad that Edith replied too. How am I going to explain to Edith what a "swinger" is?

I'm Frank Lorenzo. If I was a real person I'd be posting on Datalounge right now.

So would I.

I'm the family Bible which sits on top of the tv because it kept falling off the refrigerator.

I'm Theresa's exaggerated Hispanic accent: "Meezstore an' Meezeez Bonkers."

I'm Archie's liberal brother Fred. My daughter dated Lionel. I married a teenager while in my forties. I wonder why Archie and I are always estranged?

[quote]I'm Danielle Brisebois, whose humorless poker face was like a turd in the punchbowl.

Shut the hell up. I was the cute orphan in the original Broadway cast of "Annie" I put in my "cutesy" time!

I’m George Jefferson and I plan to rub my wealth in that racist honky’s face every chance I get.

Why did everyone around Archie become richer than him? Jeffersons moved to the Upper East Side. Maude lived in Larchmont and had a maid.

I'm the Black Panthers. Edith donated money to me because she thought we were going to save the wildlife.

I'm the Sunshine Home for the Aged. Edith is thrilled to be a "Sunshine Lady" who brings hope to the hopeless and cheer to the cheerless.

r89 I thought Maude lived in Tuckahoe.

R92 her johns lived in fuck- a-ho

[quote][R89] I thought Maude lived in Tuckahoe.

Oops, you're right. Who was it that lived in Larchmont?

I am Father Majesky

I’m Gloria’s miscarriage

" Who was it that lived in Larchmont?"

Roscoe Lee Browne played a snooty black man who was trapped in an elevator with Archie. I believe he said he was going to Larchmont to give some kind of lecture. Or lived there; I can't remember. But it was a funny episode. Archie was trapped in an elevator with a Hispanic janitor, his very pregnant wife. a neurotic woman and an upper class black man.

R71, you certainly were hot, but what makes you say you were gay?

I'm the time Edith called out Mike for being sort of a dick to Archie.

[quote]I'm the time Edith called out Mike for being sort of a dick to Archie.

This was always a problem with the show. Mike is living rent-free, eats all he wants, gets all his needs taken care of and yet he's a total jerk towards Archie (and by extension, Edith). Mike was the original "basement dweller."

[quote]I'm Theresa's exaggerated Hispanic accent: "Meezstore an' Meezeez Bonkers."

Ay yam Cheecken Chests with Chiss.

I'm Mike and Gloria's friend Robin who thinks speaking is overrated and therefore talks with her eyes.

I'm the episode where Archie discovers an old friend from Kelsey's is gay.

I'm Paul Benjamin of the Hebrew Defense Association. I think violence is the answer when dealing with opponents. I get blown up in my car.

I'm Gregory Sierra. I played Paul Benjamin

I'm the Sears portrait of Lionel Jefferson and his white girlfriend, Archie's niece. Edith tries to hide me unsuccessfully.

I'm goofy Stretch Cunningham. I die, and Archie finally finds out that I'm Jewish.

I’m Sammy Davis, Jr.

I'm a blue collar breakfast: bacon, eggs, pancakes, coffee.

I'm "shoebooty."

I'm Mike's wordless "son", dumped on the Bunker's doorstep by his deranged ex-girlfriend.

I'm "Oh Ahhhhhwwwwcieeee!"

I am the Hebrews...

R98 , I thought I read it in an old dl Thread that he was family. My errror. But , he was 🔥 .

I'm the jawbone of the ass that King David threw at the army of Philippines

I'm the three magic words that get cousin Maude riled up; Franklin Delano Roosevelt

I'm England, apparently a fag country.

I’m the shitty, unwatchable episodes of the latter seasons where Archie became 5 years old.

I'm Archie's Place.

Never heard of me?

Nobody else has either.

I’m Will B. Able, the actor who played Reverend Felcher in the episode where freeloading cousin Oscar dies in the Bunker home.

I have a cool name.

[quote]I’m Will B. Able,

Excellent actor who did outstanding work with the Prince Street Players, the best children's theater in the 1960s and 1970s. Victoria Mallory was also part of that company. Three of their productions were broadcast on tv.

Cool, R121! So many great character actors on AITF and other classic television shows who unfortunately never got the accolades they deserved.

I'm "704 Hauser," a failed spinoff about a black family (headed by Gordy the weatherman/James Evans) who moves into the Bunkers' former house. (With a young Maura Tierney as "Cherlyn Markowitz.") Fun fact: The black family's surname is ... CUMBERBATCH!

Wrong again, r51!!

*toilet flush*

I’m the hard pore cornography.

R120 FYI: Will B. Able was in that awful musical, Coco, with Hepburn. He played one of the American buyers and his show business speciality was very high kicks. He and the other actors and Coco did a can-can in the musical number Ohrbach's Bloomingdale's Best & Saks He kicked the highest and repeatedly over the head of Miss Hepburn. Also, saw him in somthing at Radio City and all he did was high kick. He was very tall too. We almost connected in a men's room at the Hilton Hotel on 6th Avenue.

[quote]We almost connected in a men's room at the Hilton Hotel on 6th Avenue.

Then he must be bi because he had a wife.

Your naïveté is cute, r127.

I'm Gloria LeRoy. I play Bobbi Jo Loomis, the wife of Archie's war buddy Duke Loomis; also, Mildred "Boom Boom" Turner. My big tits are a source of hilarity.

I'm Florida Evans and will eventually have my own show set in my housing project in Chicago. I'm a spinoff of All in the Family. I'm just really here to bitch about my commute from Cabrini Green to Tuckaho every single fucking day.

" I'm a spinoff of All in the Family. "

No, Florida, you were a spin-off of MAUDE. Maude was a spin-off of AITF. So were The Jeffersons. I know it's confusing.

R33 Edith, what was it like playing our first super dyke first lady?

I am that trick of picking up a chair, three steps from the wall, bend at the waist and pick it up. Women can do it but men can't!

Gaaaaaaaaaaaahd he was beauti-ful!

I'm the original Tom and Helen Willis. We are a handsome couple. But in the Jefferson we somehow morph into the unprepossessing Franklin Cover and Roxie Roker.

Great Italian-American actor Vincent Gardenia (of Moonstruck fame) played Archie's neighbor Frank Lorenzo.

No shit, r136.

You don’t know how to do a let’s be thread, do you?

r137, well at least r136 wasn't rude.

I'm Edith Bunker giving Arnold Horshack voice lessons.

I am the way Archie calls Gloria 'little goil' instead of 'girl'.

There's something about Maura Tierney that makes my skin crawl.

Tierney has NOT handled aging well at ALL.

Bad.

Bad, BAD facework.

Bad!

I am Archie telling R141 and R142 to stifle themselves.

I'm the 'strange' little boy watching the Edith's Rape show with his concerned parents in our tasteful colonial Den. I am turned on by the actor playing the rapist and I rub the hooked rug gently with my undeveloped little friend.

I'm Nora "Dodo" Denney, who is grateful to Jean Stapleton for turning down the role of "Mrs. Teavee" in "Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory", because she has an opportunity on some new controversial Norman Lear vehicle, which may, or may not be picked up by the network.

I’m the coffee table in the living room that’s only there when the story calls for it.

Meathead likes to put his “dogs” on me.

I’m the cigar hidden on top of the door frame.

[quote]I'm "704 Hauser," a failed spinoff about a black family (headed by Gordy the weatherman/James Evans) who moves into the Bunkers' former house. (With a young Maura Tierney as "Cherlyn Markowitz.") Fun fact: The black family's surname is ... CUMBERBATCH!

This genealogy/family heritage website says that black people with the last name Cumberbatch are descendants of slaves owned by Benedict Cumberbatch's ancestors. It's a fairly common last name in the English-speaking Caribbean.

R148, I can’t speak for that poster but he may have been referring to the irony in the last name because in the very first episode of AITF, Archie and Mike have an argument over Archie saying he knew a black kid named Cumberbatch when he was a kid. Mike didn’t believe him.

I'm the long haired couple Archie sees kissing in the bus station and he's ok with it, until we turn towards him and he sees we're two guys kissing.

I'm little Joey's "boom booms."

I'm Maura Tierney.

I make peoples' skin crawl.

Who the hell is Maura Tierney?

R140

Goil is a common old New York accent pronunciation of "girl".

Three major influences on what people associate with a New York accent, are Irish, German and Yiddish. Goil comes from Yiddish goyle which means a shiksa (not Jewish girl).

Archie Bunkers "hah" for "huh" is pure Irish American. That of course is what Carroll O'Connor was, born in Manhattan later moving to Elmhurst, Queens.

I'm Archie's uncut cock and pendulous low-hangers. I never appeared onscreen.

Yiddish and German are very similar. Are they different languages? Debated. I speak not great German and communicate sometimes with Yiddish speakers. So did they have independent influences?

Yiddish is a dialect of German, so it isn't surprising those who can manage one will do with other.

[quote] Debated. I speak not great German

You’re not doing so great with English either.

I’m the pocketknife (or machete, depending on who you believe) that the refrigerator repair man’s assistant wielded.

I’m the one copy of the Daily News with the same headline used throughout the first season.

I'm the Joey Stivic doll you could buy for you kid, check out my penis.

I'm the National Enquirer. Archie says I am the only paper that gives you the truth!

Daaaaamn R114, he sure was! Just looked up that scene...

I'm Archie's Bronx Cheer to responders R153-R157.

I am commie propaganda, pure and simple.

I'm the area by the cellar door where no one ever set foot in 8 years of broadcasting.

Ah ah ah, r166.

Not true. Not true at all.

We're the Rabinowitz Law Firm, a.k.a. "Seven savage Jews who won't leave a scrap on your bones."

I’m the “house goy” at above.

Oy veh, R168, now I have to sue you!

I’m the living room throw rug. I don’t exist, I’m actually paint made to appear like a rug.

We're Woody Harrelson and Marisa Tomei. We make you appreciate Carroll and Jean even more.

I am Mike's blue button down shirt. I appear in every episode.

R167 When, then? Did someone wander over there once, perhaps?

I'm Edith's unwieldy dildo that plugs into a wall outlet. Though never seen, I broke taboos when my loud vibrating hum was heard offscreen.

I'm Irene Lorenzo. I may be married to a Datalounger, but I'm 10 times the man Archie is and he knows it.

R173, read the thread.

I mean it was r1 FFS!

Yes, r174, Gloria went over looking for Archie’s cigars in the Cousin Oscar episode. When she couldn’t find them, either Archie or Edith went over to look also.

R174---There was an episode when Archie went over to that area, opened the door, went into the basement and got trapped. He thought he was gonna die there and drank a bottle of booze leftover from Mike & Gloria's wedding. When he was stinkin drunk, he thought he was talkin to gawd!

^^The Jeffersons was right!

He also went there when he had to fix the religious furnace.

(It didn’t work on Sundays)

Of course I remember the legendary episode where Archie goes into the basement. I'd been referring to the area behind that. The phone was in front of the stairs.

Archie in the Cellar.

Clip:

It was such a hit that producers did it again; this time Archie and his SIL "Meathead" are locked in the storeroom of Archie's bar.

This was ground breaking because as the men get drunk they both finally open up. Archie in particular reveals much about his childhood and relationship with his father, thus you see how he became what he was.

I'm the swastika on the front door.

Fuck you, then, r186, cause I’m the incorrectly hung flag that covered your ass up til the cops could come.

I am Paul Benjamin. I have one of those names where the first and last name are first names. Like Pope John.

I'm Rosemary Clooney. Edith didn't know I was black.

I’m Abe Lincoln. Edith didn’t know I was Jewish.

Wait a minute.

I'm Mike's Uncle Kasmir who came for the wedding but was never mentioned or heard from again.

I’m that “defunket” organization that Edith yells out in regards to Archie’s fingering me. I don’t exist.

[quote] Edith yells out in regards to Archie’s fingering me.

Oh, my!

I'm Edith's blonde doppelganger the butcher's leipschen. I was never in the same frame as Edith.

I'm Roscoe Lee Brown. I showed up in every sitcom from 1970-2000.

I'm Archie's blood donor. I have crazy thick glasses. I freak Archie out by telling him he's gonna start craving chicken and watermelon.

I'm the orderly who's going to take Archie's bedpan and beat him with it.

I’m Jean-Luc Devalier.

I didn’t tell Archie I was black.

I'm Sybil Gooley.

I'm the dinner that Archie demands every night at 6 but he never seems to get to eat

I'm Norman Lear's bowler hat, just off camera.

I'm just another face in the crowd.

I'm r201, who doesn't know what a bowler hat is.

I'm Archie's pinky ring.

I'm the Groinocologist