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Resumé Judgements

If I see a man has volunteered as a Big Brother I automatically assume he is a Pedo.

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by Anonymousreply 105a day ago

If I see a man spells "judgment" with that extra "e," I automatically don't hire him.

by Anonymousreply 1Last Monday at 9:24 AM

[quote] Judgement is the accepted spelling in British English. Webster first recorded the misspelling of judgment in his 1828 American Dictionary of our English Language, and Americans have been misspelling most of our true English words since then

by Anonymousreply 2Last Monday at 9:29 AM

If their name is Watermelondrea, forget it!

by Anonymousreply 3Last Monday at 9:30 AM

Volunteering to build houses in Africa = Fundie

by Anonymousreply 4Last Monday at 9:31 AM

If they put a church affiliation, it goes in the trash.

by Anonymousreply 5Last Monday at 9:33 AM

If someone has a hotmail, yahoo, or AOL email account, I know they're Olds, and not tech-savvy enough to tolerate more advanced computer work, and probably wouldn't stay around long enough to justify the hiring/training expense.

by Anonymousreply 6Last Monday at 9:33 AM

If after the interview, they tell me to have a blessed day, its all over.

by Anonymousreply 7Last Monday at 9:35 AM

R7 oh that’s a good one. As soon as they say that I know they’re Republican, Christian and probably homophobic and racist.

by Anonymousreply 8Last Monday at 9:38 AM

Preferred pronouns on a resume = drama waiting to happen

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by Anonymousreply 9Last Monday at 9:41 AM

R9 that’s fine! I sue every company I send a resume to that does or doesn’t hire me. That’s how I make a living!

by Anonymousreply 10Last Monday at 9:44 AM

R9 My pronouns are "fuck," "off" and "die."

by Anonymousreply 11Last Monday at 9:50 AM

r11, those aren't pronouns, Dear.

by Anonymousreply 12Last Monday at 12:28 PM

R6 what email server do you recommend, to impress or assuage recruiters? I’m looking into replacing mine on my resume on the advice of someone else, and now I see the same tip mentioned here I realise it’s serious.

I’ve heard good things about Hush, Tutanota, Proton & . Apparently a lot of younger people just use iCloud mail now but that strikes me as vulnerable.

by Anonymousreply 13Last Monday at 1:05 PM

No fraternities. No sororities. Never.

Protonmail has been great for me, R13. Give our present circumstances, I love that the company is headquartered in Switzerland.

by Anonymousreply 14Last Monday at 1:09 PM

Red flags:

errors = lazy or stupid

missing dates = hiding information/why?

personal information (kids, hobbies, married) = too personal/should know better

more than two pages = too much/should know better

by Anonymousreply 15Last Monday at 1:17 PM

Since my HR Director doesn't post on DL, this is who will not hire:

1) Anyone without a college degree

2) Anyone from a religious/bible college

3) Anyone with a weird name that isn't a family name

4) Anyone who badmouths a previous employer

5) Anyone who doesn't wear a jacket and a tie to an interview

Good chance you will get a second interview/get hired:

1) Graduated from one of my personally approved colleges

2) Attractive

3) Well connected

by Anonymousreply 16Last Monday at 1:34 PM

Can we all agree that we hope R16 gets fired and dies from pancreatic cancer?

by Anonymousreply 17Last Monday at 1:40 PM

Shame on you, OP!

by Anonymousreply 18Last Monday at 1:41 PM

[quote]5) Anyone who doesn't wear a jacket and a tie to an interview

So only men and butch lesbians then?

by Anonymousreply 19Last Monday at 1:42 PM

R16 = why there are so many fucking idiots in jobs they aren’t qualified for.

by Anonymousreply 20Last Monday at 1:45 PM

R16, how would you know it's a family name?

R16 = How the Madison Cawthorns of the world fail upwards

by Anonymousreply 21Last Monday at 2:07 PM

I bet R16 is a loser nerd girl from high school with power now, but wants to be in the cool club still or some stuck-up Ivy Fag Bottom who loves his Hags.

by Anonymousreply 22Last Monday at 2:09 PM

What about Eagle Scout?

by Anonymousreply 23Last Monday at 2:13 PM

[quote]Resumé Judgements

Misspelling "résumé."

by Anonymousreply 24Last Monday at 2:16 PM

Nobody wears a jacket and tie anymore.

[quote]Misspelling "résumé."

"Resumé" and "resume" are both acceptable in American English.

by Anonymousreply 25Last Monday at 2:18 PM

There are a lot of boundries being stated on this thread. Continue bitches..

by Anonymousreply 26Last Monday at 3:45 PM

Oberlin College. An instant delete, because the person will be guaranteed to be an obnoxious pain in the ass.

by Anonymousreply 27Last Monday at 4:09 PM

R16 here, and you guys are just mean. Wishing that I get the worst kind of cancer ever, is just mean, mean, mean. I'm not going to lie, I like a certain type in my office and I also like zero drama and it has proven to be very successful for me and my department. We have zero HR issues and I've been told that I have some of the best reviews of any department head in the company.

The truth is, everyone has hiring biases. Since this anonymous, I didn't mind sharing mine. I know what I'm looking for and I know what works.

[quote]So only men and butch lesbians then?

Anyone who shows up to an interview with me without at least a tie & blazer will not get a second interview. I've never gotten any butch lesbians.

[quote]how would you know it's a family name?

You know a family name when you hear it.

by Anonymousreply 28Last Monday at 4:14 PM

Anyone with a "la" or "sha" in the first part of their name.

by Anonymousreply 29Last Monday at 4:47 PM

"Ethnic" names.

by Anonymousreply 30Last Monday at 4:48 PM

R16 R28 Are you male or female? Age? Gay or straight?

You type Frau.

by Anonymousreply 31Last Monday at 5:45 PM

R4 - depends on their age. Under 30 it was likely billed as a great thing to have on the college or grad school resume and involved 2 hours of orphans and 22 hours of beach and partying. Though usually in Central America rather than Africa, now that I think of it

by Anonymousreply 32Last Monday at 5:51 PM

R30 Hi, Viv!

Viv is my sister-in-law... she’s an Old Maid, just for your information. Her brother, my husband Frank, once was interviewing new secretaries and he had a resumé for Ms. Sharqueisha Laticía Jackson-Brown and I spotted it in his office and said “absolutely not!”

I know the name of a no-good street hustling animal looking to stir trouble when I see it.

by Anonymousreply 33Last Monday at 5:52 PM

What if I change my name?

by Anonymousreply 34Last Monday at 5:57 PM

I read some of r9 and I just have to ask, how does one pronounce "Mx"?

by Anonymousreply 35Last Monday at 6:00 PM

[quote] After applying to a few without my pronouns listed, I had a Skype video interview with someone who misgenered me based on my appearance (not suprisingly, my appearance doesn't "match" my pronouns right now). After that I decided it was best to be up front, so I started putting my pronouns on my resume. In terms of formatting, in the top left of my resume is my name, (largeish font) with my address in normal-sized font underneath. Then across from that in the top right, I have my pronouns listed, then my email, then my phone number in separate lines.

If you're that messed up you shouldn't be applying for a job, you should be applying for Disability/SSI!

by Anonymousreply 36Last Monday at 6:09 PM

I assume Mx is pronounced 'Mix'?

by Anonymousreply 37Last Tuesday at 4:40 AM

R16 -R28

Your methods do sound a little dated. I don’t wish you harm, but being in HR just cancels you in so many ways.

Didn’t you want to do something with your life at one time?

by Anonymousreply 38Last Tuesday at 5:00 AM

Automatically toss out any resume that hints that the applicant is a potential troublemaker (litigious) like memberships in groups such as ACLU, feminists groups, etc or any other "activism."

by Anonymousreply 39Last Tuesday at 5:09 AM

Nix on the Federalist Society.

by Anonymousreply 40Last Tuesday at 5:18 AM

R28, like Giancana?

by Anonymousreply 41Last Tuesday at 5:21 AM

[quote][R16] [R28] Are you male or female? Age? Gay or straight?

Male, 40s, Gay

[quote]You type Frau.

That insult is worse than wishing me deadly cancer. Now take that back.

[quote]Didn’t you want to do something with your life at one time?

I'm not in HR. In my company, HR doesn't do the hiring. Department Heads do.

by Anonymousreply 42Last Tuesday at 5:33 AM

[quote]—Marvin White, née Weis

So you were born female?

Oh, dear.

by Anonymousreply 43Last Tuesday at 5:36 AM

You didn’t need to capitalize department heads. It makes you look stupid.

by Anonymousreply 44Last Tuesday at 5:37 AM

If the person is a straight or gay male, they will probably hire the candidate who they are most physically attracted to - as long as that person isn’t perceived as a professional threat.

Straight men usually hire women they think they can sleep with—or the man they can relate to most personally (kids, church, sports fan, etc.)

Gay men probably won’t hire another gay man unless they think the gay man is a possible life or sex partner as well. Another nellie will get the trap door, since another sassy office queen would just steal their limelight and be drama.

Women usually won’t hire another woman if she’s more attractive or “overly confident”. Women are probably the most biased and harshest critics of other women, imo.

I’m always shocked ny how much personal bias affects hiring choices. A lot of companies miss out on good candidates because of petty reasons and unfair assumptions. Hearing hiring managers talk about candidates, you’d think it was a Love Connection date instead of an interview.

Oh course these things I’ve mentioned above are not always true, but definitely trends I have noticed over the years. The fact that it’s not your behavior or consistent with every personal experience you’ve had doesn’t make it untrue, either.

by Anonymousreply 45Last Tuesday at 5:38 AM

[quote] It makes you look stupid.

That was hurtful and mean. Now apologize.

by Anonymousreply 46Last Tuesday at 5:40 AM

R45, this is the norm. It used to be that it mattered what men's club you belonged to now it matters which gym. I know a lot of companies that will only hire men and women who are extremely athletic. They want driven, disciplined, competitive people. Your resume will be trashed if you do any sort of charity work. Similarly, companies will ask about your reading habits. If you read for pleasure, you will not be hired. The company culture is that reading for pleasure is a waste of time. Same goes for theater, ballet, and opera. The companies do not want well rounded people. They want people who are always striving for the next million dollars.

by Anonymousreply 47Last Tuesday at 5:55 AM

R47 That thinking is what, with Social Media, has led to programmed robots who’s Instagram and Facebook have no separation between work and personal. They’re always selling something or quoting Tony Robbins. Slaves to the corporations but they think they’re pioneering businesspeople.

by Anonymousreply 48Last Tuesday at 6:00 AM

Mentioning that you run marathons makes me think you're a bore.

All those resume-speak words, like "leveraged", "incentivized", "performant" make me want to throw up.

by Anonymousreply 49Last Tuesday at 6:03 AM

Luckily I got in the door of my career job by sidesteppinmg HR and getting hired directly by those who required my exact skills. This was in the mid 90's before HR depts. wielded such screening powers.

by Anonymousreply 50Last Tuesday at 6:12 AM

R16's real hiring criteria:

Willingness to dust the cobweb off her hole, during company time of course.

by Anonymousreply 51Last Tuesday at 6:15 AM

R16's approved candidates.

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by Anonymousreply 52Last Tuesday at 6:35 AM

R14 must be a yankee.

by Anonymousreply 53Last Tuesday at 6:38 AM

Wrong R52. Those slags would never get a second interview.

by Anonymousreply 54Last Tuesday at 6:38 AM

Yeah that’s right R52 ! R16 is the only screeching, drama queen Fag around these parts!

by Anonymousreply 55Last Tuesday at 6:40 AM

R16 is of course posting to Datalounge during work hours.

by Anonymousreply 56Last Tuesday at 6:41 AM

R23- They're typically losers that have been molested.

by Anonymousreply 57Last Tuesday at 6:43 AM

how does someone get misgendered in an interview? or incorrect pronouns? the interviewer is talking to you not about you.

by Anonymousreply 58Last Tuesday at 6:52 AM

r31 said to r16 r28: "You type Frau."

R42 responded: "That insult is worse than wishing me deadly cancer. Now take that back."

Poor r42 r28 r16. Perceived as a frau, merely a cunt.

by Anonymousreply 59Last Tuesday at 6:55 AM

Any hint of a connection to the Mormon church gets a hard no out of me.

by Anonymousreply 60Last Tuesday at 7:03 AM

For me, there are 3 items that make me throw the resume out:

1) Attending any fundy Christian (not Catholic) college or having any reference to religion on their resume. I don't do the same for religious high schools because they usually had no choice.

2) Chinese or Indian national (not born in US, but came here for school or H1B1 visa). Sorry - I'm not taking good jobs away from young Americans to give to someone with a degree that I can't qualify and for someone who is just using the job as a step up to another better job either somewhere else or in their country. I've seen it happen way too many times.

3) Listing themselves as CEO or President of some side-hustle job they did in their early 20's or when they were doing contract work. No, you were just self-employed.

I also don't like to see frat or sorority mentions because I hate that some people would give preference in hiring based on their college drinking associations. But I don't throw them out.

by Anonymousreply 61Last Tuesday at 7:12 AM

[quote] It used to be that it mattered what men's club you belonged to now it matters which gym.

I am heartened to see the progress we have made.

by Anonymousreply 62Last Tuesday at 7:14 AM

The following schools are banned (the superreligious ones like Liberty or BYU don't even get glanced at):

Left/freak/insane: Evergreen State, Oberlin, Reed (any school in Oregon), UC Santa Cruz (tread lightly at Berkeley but they are a great school), Bard, Bennington, Grinnell, and Brown needs scrutiny

Right/Nazi/asshole: Dartmouth, Claremont, Hillsdale, Hampden-Sydney, any military academy, Texas A&M, any school in Alabama, any school where the football coach is the highest paid employee

by Anonymousreply 63Last Tuesday at 7:14 AM

[quoting] My pronouns are "fuck," "off" and "die."

[quote] those aren't pronouns, Dear.

How dare you deny this person's gender fluidity. You are clearly just asserting your racist supremacy. Racist!!! Cis-ist!!!

by Anonymousreply 64Last Tuesday at 7:19 AM

[quote]How dare you deny this person's gender fluidity.

That's [italic]grammar[/italic] fluidity, yutz.

by Anonymousreply 65Last Tuesday at 7:21 AM

Claremont-McKenna, R63 or the Claremont colleges in general (Pomona, Mudd et al)??

Either way, they are not particularly conservative and Pomona, if anything, is closer to an East Coast liberal arts school like Amherst or Williams.

by Anonymousreply 66Last Tuesday at 7:29 AM

Many gay men work in HR -- I'm thinking that's because it's traditionally seen as a field for women?

by Anonymousreply 67Last Tuesday at 7:29 AM

HR are usually sociopaths who were losers in high school and now abuse power as revenge.

by Anonymousreply 68Last Tuesday at 7:31 AM

[quote]Perceived as a frau, merely a cunt.

That is so unfair.

by Anonymousreply 69Last Tuesday at 7:34 AM

What would be the perfect resumé?

List it all: length, Job experience, school, awards etc.

by Anonymousreply 70Last Tuesday at 7:35 AM

I need to fill in a year of unemployment what is a good bullshit position to put in there?

Also, do we think the Coronavirus helps to explain firings etc.? Like I didn’t actually get fired, fired it was just Coronavirus.

by Anonymousreply 71Last Tuesday at 7:37 AM

I've been fortunate to work at startups or boutique firms my whole career.

My one encounter with big company HR was when two managers tried to recruit me a few years back--I had gone to B-school with one of them so she knew me well. We went out to lunch and discussed the job and what it would entail, etc.

When I met with HR as next steps, the HR woman was furious that they had talked to me without going through her first and I was like, well that would be their issue, not mine, but she could not get past it. It was one of the most bizarre meetings I've ever had and backs up R68's point.

I thanked her for her time and both the people I'd had lunch with moved on to better jobs within the year.

by Anonymousreply 72Last Tuesday at 7:39 AM

R72 - well there are rules and actual laws for fair employment practices. I'm surprised you don't know this. And those two managers did overreach and were in the wrong.

by Anonymousreply 73Last Tuesday at 7:43 AM

Would you discriminate against those who attended HBCUs?

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 74Last Tuesday at 8:02 AM

No. Not against, R74.

by Anonymousreply 75Last Tuesday at 8:05 AM

R74 - No, I would not. Those schools exist because blacks were not permitted at many colleges and universities.

I understand the need for them today.

by Anonymousreply 76Last Tuesday at 8:16 AM

R16 here,

Howard and Morehouse get automatic 2nd interviews from me. Spelman does too, when I get female candidates.

by Anonymousreply 77Last Tuesday at 8:21 AM

In an ideal situation HR plays matchmaker by putting someone who fits in with the office department's established dynamic assisting the office to stay efficient. You can have all the best credentials, but when you come off like some beastly diva, like Lea Michele, during your interview you may not be a right fit.

I once dismissed an applicant because all she did was list all the important people she knows. That is a clear sign of trouble, because someone like that will not respect her supervisor's authority and instead will make a big deal of solving disputes by relying on her so-called important connections.

by Anonymousreply 78Last Tuesday at 8:24 AM

[quote]Women usually won’t hire another woman if she’s more attractive or “overly confident”. Women are probably the most biased and harshest critics of other women, imo.

BULL.SHIT. Can we retire this worn-out old trope?

by Anonymousreply 79Last Tuesday at 8:44 AM

I filled out an application this morning on a company website. I left the preferred pronouns section blank. And then had to choose ethnicity, a white man, which is currently not in style. Probably both will be direct flights to the circular file.

by Anonymousreply 80Last Tuesday at 9:09 AM

HBCUs are equivalent to Ivys and top-tier liberal arts schools. Always give a second look 👍🏼 And jump them over Chad state-school types wherever possible.

by Anonymousreply 81Last Tuesday at 9:22 AM

R73 = HR manager who is constantly having hissy fits because senior management has decided HR is useless and is constantly doing their own recruiting and basically treats them as clerical staff.

by Anonymousreply 82Last Tuesday at 9:23 AM

HR people should focus on non-career related achievements and interests. People with a wide range of interests and skills tend to be good and interesting people and make good workers/colleagues. The main trait of people with psychopathic tendencies is that they have no real interests or hobbies.

by Anonymousreply 83Last Tuesday at 9:40 AM

On the flip side, too many hobbies/interests can translate into too many reasons for not being available for work/insufferable workplace conversations

by Anonymousreply 84Last Tuesday at 10:50 AM

Any hint of Scientology is an immediate no go.

by Anonymousreply 85Last Tuesday at 10:53 AM

Fat women will always hire women even fatter than they are. So that they are not the fattest woman in the office, obviously.

by Anonymousreply 86Last Tuesday at 11:01 AM

I'm an elderfrau. I have no problem hiring young attractive women because I know when we go to Happy Hour we will get free drinks. Priorities.

by Anonymousreply 87Last Tuesday at 11:28 AM

R87 Elder Frau *Dyke who preys on young straight girls.

by Anonymousreply 88Last Tuesday at 11:49 AM

r81- Affirmative action works both ways...and HBCU's are NOT equivalent to ivy's. AT ALL.

by Anonymousreply 89Yesterday at 5:02 AM

[quote] any school where the football coach is the highest paid employee

Isn’t that most state colleges located in major cities?

by Anonymousreply 90Yesterday at 7:58 AM

I had a customer once. Attractive female superintendent over a large county school system. She worked it alright, but the real female eye candy was always the office girls. I said something to her one day and she replied that (having all the hot young women) just makes everything go easy, You know?

Well, yeah I do. But I was actually struck by her tactics now. It was in the south and she probably had to deal with a lot of men all day. A lot of distracted men. Not bad.

She did have a nice shot of her blonde Adonis son in a speedo in her office. Looked to be in swimming. I’m sure she caught me checking it out, lol.

by Anonymousreply 91Yesterday at 8:11 AM

You can’t go by surface cues if you want a good employee. If you discriminate based on sex or race, you are throwing the baby out with the bathwater.

The truth is that you just never know until you sit and talk with someone. Even then, it’s a crapshoot.

But some of the best employees don’t look that great on paper.

by Anonymousreply 92Yesterday at 8:15 AM

R92 - I somewhat agree. But I tend to shy away from people who interview extremely well and always have answers for everything.

Candidates who are unsure about some things and hesitate to make declarative statements without more information are almost always the better employees.

However, there are many, many people in the hiring process who make decisions based on personality and sparkle. That drives me nuts. People are supposed to be a little uncomfortable and unsure. I look at their skills and how they respond to questions.

The interviewees with too much sparkle and shine are almost always trouble later on.

by Anonymousreply 93Yesterday at 8:25 AM

So what are the definitive requirements on a resume these days?

by Anonymousreply 94Yesterday at 8:33 AM

I was a junior member of a search committee where a senior Jewish member did "extra investigating " to determine if a Muslim candidate was an extremist. Granted it was a few years after 9/11 and we were located in lower Manhattan but to this day I occasionally remember it and feel guilty I didn't have that member of the committee removed. I would have had to report her and was afraid for my own job there.

by Anonymousreply 95Yesterday at 8:45 AM

In my experience in the past few years, the people with the most sparking personalities, who had the perfect answers for everything, were the worst hires. After they were hired, they pretty much balked at doing any work. One of them had a history of doing this, even though he had managed to get some people to be references for him. After his employers started hinting that they wanted him to do more work, he would start using employment legal terms, insinuating that he could sue. Companies were basically stuck with him until he pulled the scam on another company and accepted a job offer.

Socially awkward people were usually hired when the applicant pool was shallow, and a lot of the time, they turned out to be solid, reliable workhorses.

by Anonymousreply 96Yesterday at 9:04 AM

[quote]The interviewees with too much sparkle and shine are almost always trouble later on.

I resent that!

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 97Yesterday at 9:27 AM

Well, I’m young and a blank canvas but I’m also reserved and socially-awkward, nice and not a sociopathic, out-of-shape, homely and the only things I routinely enjoy doing are solitary sedentary things like reading and walking or occasionally volunteering. That’s me out of work forever, then?

by Anonymousreply 98Yesterday at 9:31 AM

R96 - totally agree. The ones with sparkle and shine always seem to be shifty - they go around people, push their work onto others or "can you help me with this (my responsibility)?" and kiss up to people to make alliances and get out of shit.

To me, it shows the personality of someone who knows how to successfully use their charm to play people. I don't want to work with or manage those types.

But I have one exception for this - I find that a lot of black applicants have to be "on" and have to make white people feel comfortable. The 'sparkle' and niceness is not a deception, it's learned survival.

by Anonymousreply 99Yesterday at 9:34 AM

How about the asshole straight guys who hire hot chicks they want to fuck? I've seen this many times. Some douchebag in his 40s and his staff are young, attractive women. It's pathetic.

by Anonymousreply 100Yesterday at 9:59 AM

Yeah, R100. Or the gay guys that have to personally approve of your college when its just going to be another hot guy he hires.

by Anonymousreply 101Yesterday at 10:03 AM

Gay guys in hiring positions tend to be careful about that r101.

by Anonymousreply 102Yesterday at 10:05 AM

[quote] So what are the definitive requirements on a resume these days?

R94, I'd say:

0. Not too long. Should be 1.5 pages at most. My opinion. Be concise.

1. No typos, no spelling errors (I have been guilty of that). Have someone (English major) proof-read your resume, not just spell-check.

2. Format of the document--should look professional. Get help, if you need it. Make it organized & easy to read. No crazy fonts. Stick with Times Roman.

3. No hobbies, clubs, blah blah blah. Esp. nothing that reveals your politics or religion.

4. Don't know if people still do a cover letter / email, but IMO, there shouldn't be anything important on that cover letter. The important stuff should all be in your resume. Cover letter (or email) should say: I'm interested in the position; my resume is attached; look forward to hearing from you. Done.

by Anonymousreply 103Yesterday at 11:14 AM

R98 I sincerely hope you paid more attention to detail on your resume than you did on your post.

by Anonymousreply 104a day ago

He probably did r104, as a message board where people type quickly to put down their random thoughts is quite different from writing a resume. When I go to Burger King, I don't dress up like I'm going to The Ivy.

by Anonymousreply 105a day ago
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