Serving up this steaming pile of
Celebrity Gossip
Gay Politics
Gay News
and Pointless Bitchery
Since 1995

Hello and thank you for being a DL contributor. We are changing the login scheme for contributors for simpler login and to better support using multiple devices. Please click here to update your account with a username and password.

Hello. Some features on this site require registration. Please click here to register for free.

Hello and thank you for registering. Please complete the process by verifying your email address. If you can't find the email you can resend it here.

Hello. Some features on this site require a subscription. Please click here to get full access and no ads for $1.99 or less per month.

My neighbor stole my Tina Turner wall clock

While I was having outpatient surgery last Friday and I am convinced my neighbor accessed my "hidden outdoor key" and stole my Tina Turner clock right off of the wall.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 103a day ago

Kill him.

Make sure you have a plan in place to get rid of the body before you do.

I can not stress the importance of this.

Otherwise you'll just have to move and I really liked living in Boulder, all things considered.

by Anonymousreply 1Last Sunday at 2:50 AM

You poor dear. Your trailer must feel so colorless without it.

by Anonymousreply 2Last Sunday at 2:54 AM

10/10, OP.


by Anonymousreply 3Last Sunday at 3:04 AM

Better be good to me or I’ll use my steel claw!

by Anonymousreply 4Last Sunday at 12:53 PM

I'll send over my private dancer to make you feel better.

by Anonymousreply 5Last Sunday at 12:56 PM

How can you get someone to return a Tina Turner?

by Anonymousreply 6Last Sunday at 12:58 PM

OP, you are so lucky to have such a thoughtful and considerate neighbour.

by Anonymousreply 7Last Sunday at 1:01 PM

I feel your pain OP, I'd be devestated if someone stole mine

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 8Last Sunday at 1:08 PM

That’s ok OP. Replace it with this one. You should be able to find one in a burned out dumpster near you.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 9Last Sunday at 1:08 PM

I had a hemmorhoid removed last Friday and Barb used my hidden key to gain entry to my domicile then snatched my Tina Turner wall clock I had bought myself last Christmas as a special treat-to-me. I just called Barb and confronted her wall clock stealing ass, point blank. She denies it but my neighbor across the street has her on video going into my domicile. She lies and is gonna get her ass kicked.

by Anonymousreply 10Last Sunday at 1:14 PM

Then go on over and revenge-swipe his Diana Ross wall clock, bitch?!!

by Anonymousreply 11Last Sunday at 5:17 PM

Is your neighbor a private dancer?

by Anonymousreply 12Last Sunday at 5:20 PM

Does anything beautiful remain?

by Anonymousreply 13Last Sunday at 5:24 PM

Calm down, proud MARY!

by Anonymousreply 14Last Sunday at 5:26 PM

This sounds like a case for Judge Judy, OP. Better hurry before she retires.

by Anonymousreply 15Last Sunday at 5:32 PM

Looks like people on the river are happy to give AND take.

by Anonymousreply 16Last Sunday at 6:11 PM

I can relate, someone stole my Reba ashtray!

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 17Last Sunday at 6:15 PM

OP, was your outpatient procedure a lobotomy, by any chance?

by Anonymousreply 18Last Sunday at 6:15 PM

Barb is such a bitch.

by Anonymousreply 19Last Sunday at 6:17 PM

OP'ette clearly stated it was a hemmorhoid procedure, Mary R18 !

by Anonymousreply 20Last Sunday at 6:18 PM

What you get is what you see.

by Anonymousreply 21Last Sunday at 6:20 PM

You must understand though the look of your clock made her sticky fingers react. That it's only the thrill of seeing your girl Tina, it's physical, only logical. You must try to ignore that it means more than that.

by Anonymousreply 22Last Sunday at 6:20 PM

Why do Datalounge guys experience the weirdest shit lmao.

by Anonymousreply 23Last Sunday at 6:22 PM

THIS is why I thought up sharia law!

by Anonymousreply 24Last Sunday at 6:22 PM

Someone pilfered my Princess Diana memorial plates

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 25Last Sunday at 6:23 PM

At midnight, the clock chimes out: “You better be good to me”!

by Anonymousreply 26Last Sunday at 6:25 PM


by Anonymousreply 27Last Sunday at 6:36 PM

I'm glad you came through your surgery and are still One Of The Living......

by Anonymousreply 28Last Sunday at 6:37 PM

Why would anyone want a Reba ashtray that doesn't even look like Reba?

by Anonymousreply 29Last Sunday at 6:38 PM

I knew this thread would be awesome just from the title

by Anonymousreply 30Last Sunday at 6:39 PM

OP's Tina wall clock is simply the best cuz there are a lot of mierda Tina clocks on Ebay

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 31Last Sunday at 6:46 PM

You should force her to eat the cake.

by Anonymousreply 32Last Sunday at 6:48 PM

At least you know that clock is still ticking somewhere. Someone once stole my "Here comes Santa Claus" chocolate Santa that I got at Dollar Tree, and I am certain he was eaten.

by Anonymousreply 33Last Sunday at 6:49 PM

[quote]Why would anyone want a Reba ashtray that doesn't even look like Reba?

... or an ashtray that doesn’t even have a groove in it that you could rest your ciggie in?

by Anonymousreply 34Last Sunday at 6:51 PM

Has nothing on my Anastacia clock!

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 35Last Sunday at 6:53 PM

I think my neighbor stole my Donna Summer phone off the wall.

by Anonymousreply 36Last Sunday at 6:55 PM

This is the best thread I’ve ever seen. Legit laughed out loud when I scrolled onto it.

by Anonymousreply 37Last Sunday at 6:56 PM

Someone stole my bell! 🔔

by Anonymousreply 38Last Sunday at 6:57 PM

This reminds me of the time someone stole my 'Beaches' watch...I'm sure it was one of you cunts!

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 39Last Sunday at 7:02 PM

OP, why didn’t your neighbor “Show Some Respect” for your possessions?

by Anonymousreply 40Last Sunday at 7:05 PM

My Elvis earrings....gone as well

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 41Last Sunday at 7:09 PM

Are you quite sure it was Barb, OP?

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 42Last Sunday at 7:09 PM

If you go near my Mariah Carey pins, you're dead meat!

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 43Last Sunday at 7:16 PM

You think THAT's bad? They paved my paradise and put up a parking lot!

by Anonymousreply 44Last Sunday at 7:19 PM

I legit want those, r43!



by Anonymousreply 45Last Sunday at 7:19 PM

R25, my Diana collectables also got stolen. Must be a thriving blackmarket in that stuff.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 46Last Sunday at 7:20 PM

Thank God it wasn't your Patti LuPone snuff box. That is irreplaceable.

by Anonymousreply 47Last Sunday at 7:22 PM

OP, sounds like there is another underlying issue with you & Barb. You need to ask yourself “What's a Wall Clock Got to Do with It“?

by Anonymousreply 48Last Sunday at 7:33 PM

Barb sounds like a Typical Female.

by Anonymousreply 49Last Sunday at 7:34 PM

If I were you, I'd kick my neighbor's ass all the way to Nutbush city limits.

by Anonymousreply 50Last Sunday at 7:37 PM

When you lay your head on it, the pillow says "It's OK, Karen, have another cookie."

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 51Last Sunday at 7:38 PM

I'll cut the bitch who tries to take my Justin Bieber hair mist!

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 52Last Sunday at 7:38 PM

R45, R43 seems to have disappeared. What was it?

by Anonymousreply 53Last Sunday at 7:39 PM

My Jessica Rabbit doll and all 6 of my Ms. Pac-Man t-shirts have also gone missing.

by Anonymousreply 54Last Sunday at 7:47 PM

R51, Why is your Mary Tyler Moore pillow yammering on about Karen having another cookie?

by Anonymousreply 55Last Sunday at 7:52 PM

If any of you bitches touch my Dionne Warwick crack pipe, I will fuck you up.

by Anonymousreply 56Last Sunday at 7:57 PM

[quote]Why is your Mary Tyler Moore pillow yammering on about Karen having another cookie?

That's not Mary Tyler Moore. It's Barbi Benton.

by Anonymousreply 57Last Sunday at 7:58 PM

If that clock wasn't stolen, I might have been Queen

by Anonymousreply 58Last Sunday at 8:04 PM

R56 I got your number, hussy.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 59Last Sunday at 8:08 PM

^^ Besitos, Miss Warwick

by Anonymousreply 60Last Sunday at 8:12 PM

You need to go over to her house and steal her Cilla Black salt & pepper shakers! That'll show her who's boss.

by Anonymousreply 61Last Sunday at 8:15 PM

As long as the thieves don't tread on my Dusty Springfield roses, we're OK.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 62Last Sunday at 8:17 PM

[quote]You need to go over to her house and steal her Cilla Black salt & pepper shakers!

..or her Delta Goodrem coasters

by Anonymousreply 63Last Sunday at 8:19 PM

How would one tell it's Cilla?

Are they lopsided and offkey?

by Anonymousreply 64Last Sunday at 8:21 PM

I'd rather have a cuppa tea.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 65Last Sunday at 8:23 PM

Whoop his a$$!!!

by Anonymousreply 66Last Sunday at 8:27 PM

OP, you won the Datalounge challenge just by bringing a "Tina Turner wall clock" into existence. Bravo!

by Anonymousreply 67Last Sunday at 8:29 PM

I’m sorry, OP, but that’s a cheap P.O.S. clock. Who designs a Tina clock without making her legs be the hands? Barb is obviously low-class with absolutely no taste.

by Anonymousreply 68Last Sunday at 8:30 PM

Nobody better steal my Janet Jackson Control Top panties.

by Anonymousreply 69Last Sunday at 8:31 PM

You should thank him. Tacky as fuck.

by Anonymousreply 70Last Sunday at 8:32 PM

Hands off my Streisand cutout, bitches!

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 71Last Sunday at 8:37 PM

I see Gary Busey is still at it. He started out pilfering small kitchen items, now moving on to wall clocks.

by Anonymousreply 72Last Sunday at 9:47 PM

If someone stole my KISS clock...

I'd cut their ass

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 73Last Monday at 12:02 AM

I'm still sad that someone stole Russell Crowe's leather jockstrap from me.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 74Last Monday at 2:10 PM

[quote]My neighbor stole my Tina Turner wall clock

Shallow, that's what she is. She's shallow.

by Anonymousreply 75Last Monday at 2:12 PM

[quote][R45], [R43] seems to have disappeared. What was it?

It would appear that you've blocked R43, maybe by accident. You might want to do some unblocking. What the posting was was a picture of a bunch of a kitschy "Mariah Carey inspired pin set." It's actually worth a look.

by Anonymousreply 76Last Monday at 2:28 PM

Don't get arrested for breaking in and stealing it back, OP.

'Cause as you know.....



by Anonymousreply 77Last Monday at 3:00 PM

This is why we can't have nice things. Neighbors just come and steal them.

by Anonymousreply 78Last Monday at 3:12 PM

Even though you loved that clock OP, what does love have to with it.

by Anonymousreply 79Last Monday at 3:15 PM

My neighbor stole my virginity.

by Anonymousreply 80Last Monday at 3:16 PM

Damn, OP, grow some fucking balls, channel your inner Ike and go beat the shit out of your neighbor.

Or park around the corner, and when they come out run them over with your Hudson Terraplane.

by Anonymousreply 81Last Monday at 3:26 PM

[quote]My neighbor stole my virginity.

So, petty theft?

by Anonymousreply 82Last Monday at 3:29 PM

I don't care what they say, OP. I think you're pretty cool for having a Tina Turner clock. She's one of the few women in the business that I have actually respected. She had a really hard life. She's a survivor. If I knew you personally I go out and buy you another one. And let the karma hit the thief next door in the ass.

by Anonymousreply 83Last Monday at 3:32 PM


by Anonymousreply 84Last Monday at 3:34 PM

Spin the wheel, raggedy man!

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 85Last Monday at 3:46 PM

I heard it was in retaliation for letting OP’s dog eat her Golden Girls chia pets.

by Anonymousreply 86Last Monday at 4:12 PM

Barb is a perpetual liar going back to the 1980s.

by Anonymousreply 87Last Monday at 4:42 PM


by Anonymousreply 88Last Monday at 5:09 PM

Someone stole my punching bag.

by Anonymousreply 89Last Monday at 5:10 PM

Console yourself with this—

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 90Last Monday at 11:01 PM

You need Kramer on the case. He recouped the statue that Ravas boyfriend stole from Jerry’s apt while cleaning

by Anonymousreply 91Last Monday at 11:35 PM

(Proud) MARY!

by Anonymousreply 92Last Monday at 11:39 PM

Somebody should forward this thread to Tina!

by Anonymousreply 93Last Tuesday at 12:22 AM

Holy shit.

by Anonymousreply 94Last Tuesday at 3:41 AM

OP, the clock had a certain... naive chom. But no MUSCLE!

by Anonymousreply 95Last Tuesday at 4:00 AM

Just accept it, OP.


Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 96Last Tuesday at 11:03 AM

meanwhile in zurich

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 97Last Tuesday at 11:38 AM

OP picked the wrong singer. Now I bet he really wishes he could turn back time.

by Anonymousreply 98Last Tuesday at 11:56 AM

As my pious father would say, maybe your neighbor needed that wall clock more than you.

by Anonymousreply 99Last Tuesday at 12:25 PM

You'll never see it again. Your neighbor be on the Freeway.

by Anonymousreply 100Last Tuesday at 1:39 PM

consolation gif

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 101Yesterday at 10:05 AM

Bitch was walking in front of my house today (on the sidewalk) and I started snorting like a pig so she could know I’m onto her.

by Anonymousreply 102a day ago

Old by bass bitch

by Anonymousreply 103a day ago
Need more help? Click Here.

Yes indeed, we too use "cookies." Don't you just LOVE clicking on these things on every single site you visit? I know we do! You can thank the EU parliament for making everyone in the world click on these pointless things while changing absolutely nothing. If you are interested you can take a look at our privacy/terms or if you just want to see the damn site without all this bureaucratic nonsense, click ACCEPT and we'll set a dreaded cookie to make it go away. Otherwise, you'll just have to find some other site for your pointless bitchery needs.


Become a contributor - post when you want with no ads!