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My neighbor stole my Tina Turner wall clock

While I was having outpatient surgery last Friday and I am convinced my neighbor accessed my "hidden outdoor key" and stole my Tina Turner clock right off of the wall.

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by Anonymousreply 15612/12/2020

Kill him.

Make sure you have a plan in place to get rid of the body before you do.

I can not stress the importance of this.

Otherwise you'll just have to move and I really liked living in Boulder, all things considered.

by Anonymousreply 106/28/2020

You poor dear. Your trailer must feel so colorless without it.

by Anonymousreply 206/28/2020

10/10, OP.


by Anonymousreply 306/28/2020

Better be good to me or I’ll use my steel claw!

by Anonymousreply 406/28/2020

I'll send over my private dancer to make you feel better.

by Anonymousreply 506/28/2020

How can you get someone to return a Tina Turner?

by Anonymousreply 606/28/2020

OP, you are so lucky to have such a thoughtful and considerate neighbour.

by Anonymousreply 706/28/2020

I feel your pain OP, I'd be devestated if someone stole mine

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by Anonymousreply 806/28/2020

That’s ok OP. Replace it with this one. You should be able to find one in a burned out dumpster near you.

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by Anonymousreply 906/28/2020

I had a hemmorhoid removed last Friday and Barb used my hidden key to gain entry to my domicile then snatched my Tina Turner wall clock I had bought myself last Christmas as a special treat-to-me. I just called Barb and confronted her wall clock stealing ass, point blank. She denies it but my neighbor across the street has her on video going into my domicile. She lies and is gonna get her ass kicked.

by Anonymousreply 1006/28/2020

Then go on over and revenge-swipe his Diana Ross wall clock, bitch?!!

by Anonymousreply 1106/28/2020

Is your neighbor a private dancer?

by Anonymousreply 1206/28/2020

Does anything beautiful remain?

by Anonymousreply 1306/28/2020

Calm down, proud MARY!

by Anonymousreply 1406/28/2020

This sounds like a case for Judge Judy, OP. Better hurry before she retires.

by Anonymousreply 1506/28/2020

Looks like people on the river are happy to give AND take.

by Anonymousreply 1606/28/2020

I can relate, someone stole my Reba ashtray!

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by Anonymousreply 1706/28/2020

OP, was your outpatient procedure a lobotomy, by any chance?

by Anonymousreply 1806/28/2020

Barb is such a bitch.

by Anonymousreply 1906/28/2020

OP'ette clearly stated it was a hemmorhoid procedure, Mary R18 !

by Anonymousreply 2006/28/2020

What you get is what you see.

by Anonymousreply 2106/28/2020

You must understand though the look of your clock made her sticky fingers react. That it's only the thrill of seeing your girl Tina, it's physical, only logical. You must try to ignore that it means more than that.

by Anonymousreply 2206/28/2020

Why do Datalounge guys experience the weirdest shit lmao.

by Anonymousreply 2306/28/2020

THIS is why I thought up sharia law!

by Anonymousreply 2406/28/2020

Someone pilfered my Princess Diana memorial plates

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by Anonymousreply 2506/28/2020

At midnight, the clock chimes out: “You better be good to me”!

by Anonymousreply 2606/28/2020


by Anonymousreply 2706/28/2020

I'm glad you came through your surgery and are still One Of The Living......

by Anonymousreply 2806/28/2020

Why would anyone want a Reba ashtray that doesn't even look like Reba?

by Anonymousreply 2906/28/2020

I knew this thread would be awesome just from the title

by Anonymousreply 3006/28/2020

OP's Tina wall clock is simply the best cuz there are a lot of mierda Tina clocks on Ebay

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by Anonymousreply 3106/28/2020

You should force her to eat the cake.

by Anonymousreply 3206/28/2020

At least you know that clock is still ticking somewhere. Someone once stole my "Here comes Santa Claus" chocolate Santa that I got at Dollar Tree, and I am certain he was eaten.

by Anonymousreply 3306/28/2020

[quote]Why would anyone want a Reba ashtray that doesn't even look like Reba?

... or an ashtray that doesn’t even have a groove in it that you could rest your ciggie in?

by Anonymousreply 3406/28/2020

Has nothing on my Anastacia clock!

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by Anonymousreply 3506/28/2020

I think my neighbor stole my Donna Summer phone off the wall.

by Anonymousreply 3606/28/2020

This is the best thread I’ve ever seen. Legit laughed out loud when I scrolled onto it.

by Anonymousreply 3706/28/2020

Someone stole my bell! 🔔

by Anonymousreply 3806/28/2020

This reminds me of the time someone stole my 'Beaches' watch...I'm sure it was one of you cunts!

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by Anonymousreply 3906/28/2020

OP, why didn’t your neighbor “Show Some Respect” for your possessions?

by Anonymousreply 4006/28/2020

My Elvis earrings....gone as well

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by Anonymousreply 4106/28/2020

Are you quite sure it was Barb, OP?

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by Anonymousreply 4206/28/2020

If you go near my Mariah Carey pins, you're dead meat!

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by Anonymousreply 4306/28/2020

You think THAT's bad? They paved my paradise and put up a parking lot!

by Anonymousreply 4406/28/2020

I legit want those, r43!



by Anonymousreply 4506/28/2020

R25, my Diana collectables also got stolen. Must be a thriving blackmarket in that stuff.

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by Anonymousreply 4606/28/2020

Thank God it wasn't your Patti LuPone snuff box. That is irreplaceable.

by Anonymousreply 4706/28/2020

OP, sounds like there is another underlying issue with you & Barb. You need to ask yourself “What's a Wall Clock Got to Do with It“?

by Anonymousreply 4806/28/2020

Barb sounds like a Typical Female.

by Anonymousreply 4906/28/2020

If I were you, I'd kick my neighbor's ass all the way to Nutbush city limits.

by Anonymousreply 5006/28/2020

When you lay your head on it, the pillow says "It's OK, Karen, have another cookie."

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by Anonymousreply 5106/28/2020

I'll cut the bitch who tries to take my Justin Bieber hair mist!

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by Anonymousreply 5206/28/2020

R45, R43 seems to have disappeared. What was it?

by Anonymousreply 5306/28/2020

My Jessica Rabbit doll and all 6 of my Ms. Pac-Man t-shirts have also gone missing.

by Anonymousreply 5406/28/2020

R51, Why is your Mary Tyler Moore pillow yammering on about Karen having another cookie?

by Anonymousreply 5506/28/2020

If any of you bitches touch my Dionne Warwick crack pipe, I will fuck you up.

by Anonymousreply 5606/28/2020

[quote]Why is your Mary Tyler Moore pillow yammering on about Karen having another cookie?

That's not Mary Tyler Moore. It's Barbi Benton.

by Anonymousreply 5706/28/2020

If that clock wasn't stolen, I might have been Queen

by Anonymousreply 5806/28/2020

R56 I got your number, hussy.

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by Anonymousreply 5906/28/2020

^^ Besitos, Miss Warwick

by Anonymousreply 6006/28/2020

You need to go over to her house and steal her Cilla Black salt & pepper shakers! That'll show her who's boss.

by Anonymousreply 6106/28/2020

As long as the thieves don't tread on my Dusty Springfield roses, we're OK.

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by Anonymousreply 6206/28/2020

[quote]You need to go over to her house and steal her Cilla Black salt & pepper shakers!

..or her Delta Goodrem coasters

by Anonymousreply 6306/28/2020

How would one tell it's Cilla?

Are they lopsided and offkey?

by Anonymousreply 6406/28/2020

I'd rather have a cuppa tea.

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by Anonymousreply 6506/28/2020

Whoop his a$$!!!

by Anonymousreply 6606/28/2020

OP, you won the Datalounge challenge just by bringing a "Tina Turner wall clock" into existence. Bravo!

by Anonymousreply 6706/28/2020

I’m sorry, OP, but that’s a cheap P.O.S. clock. Who designs a Tina clock without making her legs be the hands? Barb is obviously low-class with absolutely no taste.

by Anonymousreply 6806/28/2020

Nobody better steal my Janet Jackson Control Top panties.

by Anonymousreply 6906/28/2020

You should thank him. Tacky as fuck.

by Anonymousreply 7006/28/2020

Hands off my Streisand cutout, bitches!

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by Anonymousreply 7106/28/2020

I see Gary Busey is still at it. He started out pilfering small kitchen items, now moving on to wall clocks.

by Anonymousreply 7206/28/2020

If someone stole my KISS clock...

I'd cut their ass

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by Anonymousreply 7306/28/2020

I'm still sad that someone stole Russell Crowe's leather jockstrap from me.

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by Anonymousreply 7406/29/2020

[quote]My neighbor stole my Tina Turner wall clock

Shallow, that's what she is. She's shallow.

by Anonymousreply 7506/29/2020

[quote][R45], [R43] seems to have disappeared. What was it?

It would appear that you've blocked R43, maybe by accident. You might want to do some unblocking. What the posting was was a picture of a bunch of a kitschy "Mariah Carey inspired pin set." It's actually worth a look.

by Anonymousreply 7606/29/2020

Don't get arrested for breaking in and stealing it back, OP.

'Cause as you know.....



by Anonymousreply 7706/29/2020

This is why we can't have nice things. Neighbors just come and steal them.

by Anonymousreply 7806/29/2020

Even though you loved that clock OP, what does love have to with it.

by Anonymousreply 7906/29/2020

My neighbor stole my virginity.

by Anonymousreply 8006/29/2020

Damn, OP, grow some fucking balls, channel your inner Ike and go beat the shit out of your neighbor.

Or park around the corner, and when they come out run them over with your Hudson Terraplane.

by Anonymousreply 8106/29/2020

[quote]My neighbor stole my virginity.

So, petty theft?

by Anonymousreply 8206/29/2020

I don't care what they say, OP. I think you're pretty cool for having a Tina Turner clock. She's one of the few women in the business that I have actually respected. She had a really hard life. She's a survivor. If I knew you personally I go out and buy you another one. And let the karma hit the thief next door in the ass.

by Anonymousreply 8306/29/2020


by Anonymousreply 8406/29/2020

Spin the wheel, raggedy man!

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by Anonymousreply 8506/29/2020

I heard it was in retaliation for letting OP’s dog eat her Golden Girls chia pets.

by Anonymousreply 8606/29/2020

Barb is a perpetual liar going back to the 1980s.

by Anonymousreply 8706/29/2020


by Anonymousreply 8806/29/2020

Someone stole my punching bag.

by Anonymousreply 8906/29/2020

Console yourself with this—

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by Anonymousreply 9006/29/2020

You need Kramer on the case. He recouped the statue that Ravas boyfriend stole from Jerry’s apt while cleaning

by Anonymousreply 9106/29/2020

(Proud) MARY!

by Anonymousreply 9206/29/2020

Somebody should forward this thread to Tina!

by Anonymousreply 9306/29/2020

Holy shit.

by Anonymousreply 9406/30/2020

OP, the clock had a certain... naive chom. But no MUSCLE!

by Anonymousreply 9506/30/2020

Just accept it, OP.


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by Anonymousreply 9606/30/2020

meanwhile in zurich

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by Anonymousreply 9706/30/2020

OP picked the wrong singer. Now I bet he really wishes he could turn back time.

by Anonymousreply 9806/30/2020

As my pious father would say, maybe your neighbor needed that wall clock more than you.

by Anonymousreply 9906/30/2020

You'll never see it again. Your neighbor be on the Freeway.

by Anonymousreply 10006/30/2020

consolation gif

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by Anonymousreply 10107/01/2020

Bitch was walking in front of my house today (on the sidewalk) and I started snorting like a pig so she could know I’m onto her.

by Anonymousreply 10207/01/2020

Old by bass bitch

by Anonymousreply 10307/01/2020

Bump. I need an update.

by Anonymousreply 10407/29/2020

Can I make my “Gone with the Wind“ plates into clocks?

I have 12.

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by Anonymousreply 10507/29/2020

I think this one for the bedroom —

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by Anonymousreply 10607/29/2020

Church house, gin house, school house, outhouse - OP is on Barb's trail.

by Anonymousreply 10707/29/2020

I checked my Lulu Happy Shoes collection. They remain undisturbed.

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by Anonymousreply 10807/29/2020

I know Barb and she told me she also rubbed her twat all over your bed pillows.

by Anonymousreply 10907/29/2020

I thought Joan was my friend, but she sent Christina over to cut down my Judy Garland roses.

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by Anonymousreply 11007/29/2020

Is r105/106 Lindsey Graham?

by Anonymousreply 11107/29/2020

What's your mailing address, OP? I'm going to send you this Coors illuminated waterfall picture. Keep it safely *inside* the house, though, not out by the pool.

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by Anonymousreply 11207/29/2020

Has this been resolved?

by Anonymousreply 11308/25/2020

By any chance, is your neighbor named Ike?

by Anonymousreply 11408/25/2020

Was it a second-hand Swiss motion?

by Anonymousreply 11508/25/2020

It’s been two months and the first 50 or so replies still make me howl with laughter.

by Anonymousreply 11608/25/2020

My neighbor stole my MAGA hat. I spent all my meth money on it.

by Anonymousreply 11708/25/2020

R51 you got runned over. Maybe "There's a Kind of Hush (When I Don't Chew)"?

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by Anonymousreply 11808/25/2020

Barb is manipulative. My bday is this Saturday and I know the bitch will buy me some Dollar Tree gift and tell me that she bought it at Nordstroms.

by Anonymousreply 11908/25/2020

[Quote]I started snorting like a pig so she could know I’m onto her.

How'd this work out for you, OP?

by Anonymousreply 12008/26/2020

She heard me but she wouldn’t look my way. She is a perpetual bitch.

by Anonymousreply 12108/26/2020

typical male!

by Anonymousreply 12208/26/2020


She begged my neighbors on the south side of me to allow her to tag along with with them on a 6hr road trip to Branson MO last year. They dropped her off at a hotel and eventually returned home without her! 😆. She was super pissed off at them and started a social media campaign against them. If anyone is interested in knowing how she got home, just let me know...

by Anonymousreply 12308/26/2020

She rode home on the mail train?

by Anonymousreply 12408/26/2020

I am interested in your story of Branson, OP.

by Anonymousreply 12508/26/2020

Ok. The dumb twat spent all of her $ on crapola CDs at the merch table of some local cuntry band. She won’t use credit cards or debit cards because she says they’re “unsafe”. She had no $, no transportation to return to Illinois and knew no one in Branson. She told her sob story to a middle aged Karen who was working the night shift at the hotel front desk. The lady took pity on her and at the end of her shift, drove 6 hrs so her ass could be out of Branson MO. Supposedly, she offered the lady $20 for gasoline once she returned home but the Karen said “No! You need it worse than I do!” then drove straight back to Branson so she could work her shift at the cuntry hotel. Stupid Bitch has six figures in the bank and acts like she’s dirt poor.

by Anonymousreply 12608/26/2020

Did you ever find your clock?

by Anonymousreply 12708/26/2020

Fuck, no. Barb has it! I ought to break into her ugly house and get it. It makes me so fucking mad to know she has that damned thing!

by Anonymousreply 12808/26/2020

I just discovered the other day that I had an old wedding ring stolen. I kept it in a box on my dresser. It's not something I am in the habit of checking but I felt like wearing it for a few days and that's when I saw that it was gone. It's probably been a couple of years since I checked it.

I'm a complete hermit and NOBODY ever comes into my apartment except for the occasional maintenance thing. . There were some guys in for a repair a few weeks ago. My landlords usually use the same crews and it never occurred to me not to trust them so I went out for an errand and left them alone and I guess one of them went shopping.

There was some value to the ring but it was more of a sentimental attachment than anything else. It represented a very happy time in my life. It just seems like a shitty (and completely unprofessional) thing to do. ) I'm sure they were paid well for the work they did.

Sorry to steal your thread OP. I was going to post this anyway. I hope you don't mind.

by Anonymousreply 12908/26/2020

Is it possible you misplaced the ring?

by Anonymousreply 13008/26/2020

Fuck Barb. What does she have to gain? Where could she possibly hang the clock and not give herself away?!? Do you have a new clock yet?

by Anonymousreply 13108/26/2020

you never, ever leave your apt when workers are in your apt. You watch them like a hawk. You take pic and videos in case they damage your property while doing repairs.

by Anonymousreply 13208/26/2020

Anybody want to buy a wedding new.....

by Anonymousreply 13308/26/2020

Gross r109.

R10 Barb is a stupid whore and we all hate her, but I can’t say I blame her for swiping that clock. It is fabulous and I want it.

by Anonymousreply 13408/26/2020

Has Barb ever been to Michfest?

by Anonymousreply 13508/26/2020

Carl is fucking Barb......I bet.

by Anonymousreply 13608/27/2020

Barb is female

by Anonymousreply 13708/27/2020

Steal the clock back, OP. Doesn't Barb have her Bowling League tomorrow night?

by Anonymousreply 13808/27/2020

Where are we at on this? Comeuppance?

by Anonymousreply 13912/10/2020

You’ve all been robbed by tricks

by Anonymousreply 14012/10/2020

Hi, I'm the neighbor's mom. He gave this to me as a birthday present, I didn't know it was stolen! How dare he!

by Anonymousreply 14112/10/2020

Gotta resolve this shit, soon. Beat a bitch on Christmas!

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by Anonymousreply 14212/10/2020

If you take my Tina Yothers autographed photo I WILL cut you

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by Anonymousreply 14312/10/2020

Thanks for the laugh.

Much love.

by Anonymousreply 14412/10/2020

I forgot to lock my door the other night and I was scared someone would take my Ivanka Trump perfume....strangely, they didn't

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by Anonymousreply 14512/10/2020

OP should try to trick her into a confession and then go to the authorities.

Maybe OP ask her if her heart is really in some activity. If her reply is “WHO NEEDS A HEART WHEN A HEART CAN BE BROKEN?”, she stole the clock.

by Anonymousreply 14612/10/2020

Best thread of 2020. Who needs a clock, when a clock can be broken?

by Anonymousreply 14712/10/2020

Get the neighbours together and force Barb to spin the wheel:

Break a deal, spin the wheel... Gulag!

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by Anonymousreply 14812/10/2020

Op have you maybe thought of getting a new Tina Turner clock?

by Anonymousreply 14912/12/2020

WhaT’s love goTTa To do, goTTa do wiTh iT? Who needs a hearT when a hearT can be broken? 💔

by Anonymousreply 15012/12/2020

Where's the GoFundMe for Miss OP?

We need to help her to reclaim her time AND a new Tina wall cock!

by Anonymousreply 15112/12/2020

It was a one of a kind clock I ordered from a website. It’s no longer available. That is what pisses me off so much.

by Anonymousreply 15212/12/2020

Come to think of it, I haven’t seen my pet rock in decades.

by Anonymousreply 15312/12/2020

Hung Tina’s clock on my wall Tickin’ every second of night and day And I never lost one minute of sleepin' Worryin' 'bout how Tina’s timing’ might have been

Big clock keep on tickin’ Tina’s going keep on turnin' Tickin', tickin', tickin' on the wall

by Anonymousreply 15412/12/2020

Because of this thread, I snort like a pig when I want to let motherfuckers know I am onto their shit.

by Anonymousreply 15512/12/2020

On To Their shiT 🤡

by Anonymousreply 15612/12/2020
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