Filthy House

Pretend you're not the messy person around the cleaners, somehow. Maybe say you're a loving son to a hoarder parent, or some sort of situation like that.

Honestly, they probably won't care. Your mess will be gone soon and you can move on with the rest of your life in a clean house.

You MUST deal with the depression.

[quote] and feel sick to my stomach thinking about letting them in to see the mess.

Are you kidding? It's their job. I'm sure they've seen worse...every single day.

You'll feel so much happier when it's done. Trust me.

Good. Improving your environment will be good for you and your mental health.

And you need to talk to your therapist about this.

OP, don’t beat yourself up over that. The fact that you called someone to help you is a sign of light at the end of the tunnel! I have a friend who has a cleaning business and believe me, they have seen it all. To them you’re just the next job and possibly a prospective new regular customer. They come in and do the job. Make arrangements to be elsewhere when they are cleaning and let them do the job. You will feel so much better when it is all done. Clean slate!

I'm not mad at you op. I'm just mad at the dirt.

Is it just messy or do you also have bugs?

The longer you wait, the harder it will be to address. Get it over with.

Rip off the bandaid. People don’t give a shit at the end of the day. It’s a job they’re hired to do. Whatever’s going on, I’m sure they’ve seen something worse.

Best thing to do is call one of the junk hauler services and have them throw out tons of shit. You need to have that breakthrough of “I don’t respect my stuff, so why hold on to it?”

The openness of your space will give you comfort and clarity and then the cleaning will be no thing. Just maintain maintain maintain.

I'm on meds now and they seem to be helping. Partner died unexpectedly and I just let everything go. I know the cats have shit and pissed on things because I haven't kept the litter boxes clean. I'm going to just have to throw away most of my clothes because they're on the floor and cats have used them. No bugs that I've seen except little flies...must be rotten fruit under some of the crap. Keep thinking how ashamed my partner would be of me. I don't even have the excuse of being a hoarder. Should have thought to pretend it was a relatives house!

I'd get out of the house while they're doing the work.

The cat thing you really need to get a handle on.

[quote]I'm on meds now and they seem to be helping.

You're on meds to help you deal with your grief? Good grief!

Why don't you start on some of the mess and sort things into piles and get all the trash out in black trash bags and anything that's ruined? Take it in turns.

Do it for the cats.

They shouldn’t have to live like that.

Hugs to you OP. Losing a partner and then the following depression is horrible. I hope you take baby steps to get out of your depression. Getting that house clean top to bottom will help immensely. Don’t worry about what the cleaners will think. They have seen it all like everyone else has said. Having a clean house will really help you mentally. And have a plan of how to keep it clean. Also please get rid of most of your clutter. It just leads to a cluttered mind and more stress. Let us know how everything goes please. Take care.

Thanks for your encouraging comments. I'm just gonna suck it up and let them in no matter how humiliating. I know we'll all feel better for it (cats and me). Do those electric cat litter boxes work? I know you still have to tend to them but I'm wondering if they're worth it.

No matter how many bitchy comments are posted here about this, the vast majority of us who clicked on this have been through something like this before. Do you have a therapist or someone you can talk to so you can develop some kind of plan to start doing healthy things after the house is cleaned out?

You don't want to slide back into that mindset, OP. Good luck. Nobody's judging you.

[quote] Do those electric cat litter boxes work? I know you still have to tend to them but I'm wondering if they're worth it.

Gurl, you're going to have to start "tending" in general now...or you'll have to give the cats away.

Cleaning is actually very good therapy. It's not so hard. Most people manage it.

sorry, R2... I'm R3.

You're right. It's not hard . I've had cats for over 30 years. The last two have been fucked up. I do need a therapist though I guess. Thought I could handle it but I guess not. Don't want to backslide.

Pro tip OP: get rid of whatever junk you want to ditch BEFORE the cleaners come over. The people you’re hiring are cleaners, not organizers. The less stuff they have to work around, the better they’ll be able to clean— and more efficiently too.

I worked pt as a cleaner during college. We saw it all, but rarely if ever judged.

Always the biggest obstacle when doing a deep clean on a home is the mess, not the filth. If you don’t feel up to having a junk hauler come by at least get everything off the floors and counters.

Grab a few laundry baskets or boxes and just put stuff in; you can sort it later. Cleaners aren’t there to fold your laundry or put shit away. Make sure the pets are out of the way and that the cleaners won’t have to deal with them. Pets can be scared of strangers and vacuums. If you can, head out of the house while they’re there, it’ll relieve your anxiety. Good luck.

OP - you'll need some kind of industrial service for the first major cleaning. Once that is done, you can hire a cleaning lady to come once a week for upkeep at a much more affordable cost. Are you a hoarder in terms of being attached to basically trash? If so, maybe you take a long weekend somewhere while the cleaners do their thing. You should have all your furniture steam cleaned for the cat piss. Maybe clean it, sell it, and move on to a new life.

If you are feeling a little better now, OP, try doing just one little area each day. Just get one garbage bag or small grocery bag if that's all you can handle and fill it up with trash. Then, do it again. You'll feel better having accomplished something and the next time you'll see what you've accomplished and decide that you need a bigger garbage bag because you want to finish this certain area. Then, you'll see that what was under that trash needs to be wiped down and you'll just do it. It's a baby steps thing. Now that the meds are working it's a good time to start something like this to reinforce the better feelings. It will cycle up over time.

OP- I think it’s like with doctors. We feel shame, but it’s never the worst that they ever seen. Cleaners are there to do a job, and they are probably glad to get the business, especially now. If everyone was neat then they would be out of a job and they don’t want that! And take care of those kitties. I hear the electric litter boxes do work well and also air purifiers help eliminate odor. Another great find I came across as this high powered peroxide called neutra-sol. It’s on Amazon and it’s great for cat pee. Depression is a bitch, OP. Keep fighting. You will feel better when your home is cleaned.

OP, you've made a huge step already and should be proud of yourself. These things happen, so please don't beat yourself up. You've done enough of that already, so now is the time to focus on the future.

As for the litter box, this thing is a miracle. You can stand right over it and not smell the pee.

I have the replacement boxes on auto ship. If you hate Amazon like I do, other companies will auto ship them, too.

You'll have to be careful to not leave anything soft on the floor, because the cats are accustomed to peeing on clothes, etc.

I'm excited for your new start!

They've probably seen worse.

Good luck Op. maybe you and the kittens will be happier when it’s all cleaned up.

Your partner would want that.

OP, I am truly sorry for your loss and what you have gone through, but I think you have got to get a handle on this because otherwise, it will just build up again quickly. Today, fill up some rubbish bags. Tomorrow, change your sheets. The next day, do some laundry. Do not let dirty dishes or garbage pile up, clean them as you use them. This is all therapeutic.

I don't think it's a good thing to get a litterbox that doesn't smell but is in fact filthy. It is very, very stressful to cats to have a dirty box. And speaking of the cats, what kind of state are they in? Are they underweight or overweight? Are their teeth ok? Does their breath smell bad? Are their claws overgrown?

And what about your own hygiene? Are you showering every day? Shaving? Brushing your teeth? Wearing clean clothes? Getting haircuts?

Trust me, you will feel immensely better if you get on top of all these things

OP, I applaud you for posting this. At first, I thought it was another troll post but glad I was wrong.

My place is a mess too and I am ashamed. I am also depressed. I feel overwhelmed. I am trying to purge stuff. To bring more clarity to myself and to help me organize.

I wish the best for you. There is no shame in admitting you need help.

OP, your partner would not be ashamed of you. He would want you to know that you are loved. Whatever humiliation you might feel when you meet the cleaners, it will be forgotten when you have worked through this.

OP, how many cats do you have? Please don't get any more cats than you currently have. (I'm sorry, but that situation with the urine, etc., sounds like harsh living conditions, plus, I'd be pissed (no pun intended) if some of my clothes got pissed on.)

I'm sorry to hear about your partner dying unexpectedly. That's traumatic.

Paying someone to do the cleaning is a really good idea. If you have the energy, I would go through the house and gather obvious trash, so that you're not paying the cleaner to do that.

Old cat piss will not come out of furniture and will encourage cats to keep pissing there. Get rid of it, buy new stuff, keep litter clean, have several boxes.

OP, I could have written this myself right now (and probably should have). Please keep us updated with how you're doing, because if I see you doing it, I'll know I can too.

But… PLEASE don't feel pressured to appear like you're always doing well. I know that sometimes the acceptable-ish "two steps forward/one step back" can turn into the ohshit "zero steps forward/three steps back" followed by the shame cycle… yeah, I think I know where you're coming from, 'cause I'm right behind you.

OP, you've been through so much that it's completely understandable that you would have had a deep depression after that loss. I'm rooting for you.

Also, please pay attention to the posters who are recommending that the cat situation is a serious one and, after you get the super clean, is the one to really focus upon.

Cat piss is unusually destructive. It has elements to it that makes its smell attach to whatever it touches, and it next to impossible to get out.

I owned a small building and one of the residents had close to 20 cats. We were alerted by people in the neighboring apartments that there was a serious stench coming from the apartment - to the point where people were telling us they thought a dead body was in there.

When we finally were able to clean out the apartment, we found that it was necessary not just to rip out the floorboards, but also rip out the plaster in the walls and the ceilings because unless we did, the smell was still there.

Cats are lovely and I'm sure they helped you during this terrible time, but when you can't replace the litter, it can mean actual structural problems to the residence. Definitely get the cleaners in, and then focus on how to take care of the cats, and how to take care of yourself. You deserve to be taken care of well, and so do they.

God bless, and I hope it all works out really well for you.

If you’re up to it take a look at this website. She helps you deal with clutter in step-by-step easier ways so it’s not so overwhelming. Good luck!

I empathize with you, OP. I am a neat freak who got rheumatoid arthritis. After a year on methotrexate and biologiacals I am slowly heading toward remission. Doing a load of laundry and unloading my dishwasher means a trip to the couch. Then the covid hit. I had planned on getting some cleaners to come in. This wasn't possible. It is very dusty and sheet changing is sporadic due to my painful limbs. This has worked for me: Try to do one or two tasks each day. Clean the bathroom sink one day, toilet another. Do the kitchen surfaces, then floor. You will actually get some chores finished. I am still on my way back to normal health, but I may never be OK. Mentally I am lucky. I have always been a loner who is happy with my own company. In fact most people bore me unless they are highly intelljgent. I haven't minded the isolation we are forced to endure due to Covid. I see it as more reading time.

For me I would think it would therapeutic to do at least some of the clean up myself. If you have to at least fix some of the problem yourself I would think it is less likely for you to let it get that way again. Making a phone call and writing a check just sounds too easy me. You know yourself best though OP and I guess the main thing is that you get the situation fixed, good luck, I really hope this is a good turning point for you to have a better life, at least you have recognized the problem and are making moves to fix it.

They want the work so they'll be happy to do it. Well, maybe not during a pandemic, but hopefully they have developed a good safety strategy.

I agree with R37 that doing some of it yourself may be therapeutic. Maybe give yourself one small task to do a day and see if you can manage it.

And yes, the electric litter boxes work. The only problem I had with them was that the cat poop and pee would start to get a little moldy before the container box filled up, and I felt like it was expensive to replace those boxes every two days instead of every three or four.

Maybe getting some of those disposable cat litter boxes made out of cardboard would be an idea, or using liners that you can just pull out and throw away, then put in a new liner and fresh litter.

I know we want to reduce consumption but sometimes you just have to do what you need to do to function. Good luck and hang in there.

OP, as for the cats. If the litter boxes were kept in pristine condition, would they still go outside the box? You owe it to your kitties to provide this very basic level of care.

I adopted a cat who was peeing in front of the litter box, on area rugs, bath mat, and anything I might accidentally leave on the floor. I consulted with my vet and a cat behavior therapist, and tried many, many things. He kept peeing right in front of the box. He always shit in the box so I didn't buy one theory that said the brand of litter hurt his feet (and I tried multiple brands, including the very expensive Cat Attract). Finally after doing my own research and reading good things about the Tidy Cat Litter Breeze system, I tried that. It was magic. It has disposable pee pads that you change every other day or so, you scoop and flush the turds every time you see one, and only need to change the litter once a month. My other cat doesn't like it but Pee Boy does and has never gone outside the box since I started using this a couple of years ago. The replacement litter and pads can get pricey though if you need multiple boxes for multiple cats.

Maybe though once the house is clean you will be able to keep up with the litter boxes on a daily and weekly basis. Good luck to you.

I have OCD which is just the flip side presentation of hoarding. two of my friends are legit hoarders. I had no judgment cleaning out their hoards when they were moving. shit happens, we all deal with it in different ways.

also, one of the 2 of my friends needed extra help on a day when I was unavailable. I hired my cleaning lady to go over and was very upfront about her cats, dogs and hoarding. cleaning lady also had no judgment beyond 'glad she was able to reach out for help. glad to help, it's my job'

so, don't let shame hold you back in life! good for you for figuratively and literally crawling out of your hole. how can that be a shameful thing?!

also, wrt the cat pee, I can't recommend this stuff enough. the only thing that works. get the red bottle.

Where do you get these cleaners?

Good luck OP we are all on your side x

I'm really touched by this thread. I (wrongly) assumed the responses would be catty (no pun intended) and make fun of the OP. I really appreciate the thoughtful and sympathetic responses, because this could have devolved into non-stop mocking.

Datalounge is always full of surprises.

^^^^^^Google hoarding clean up, there were several results for my area.

ServiceMaster is national they have a clean-up program.

it's not like he asked for advice on something important- like draining pasta r44

You could call a crime scene clean up company. They’d be relieved not to have to clean up maggots, blood, brain material and leaked body fluids.

Bless you, OP. Don't feel bad or ashamed because you couldn't keep up with your house cleaning. When you are depressed and dealing with grief, everything feels impossible. I've dealt with depression myself, and it felt like I was unable to do the most basic things. Be kind to yourself about this. I'm happy to see that you are on medication and hopefully soon, therapy.

Getting your space clean and organized is a great first step to your healing. I'm proud of you, OP. Everyone here has given you great advice. I would suggest that you are strict with yourself in other areas such as: 1. be sure to eat regularly, 2. if you have the energy, go for a walk or do some exercise you like. Even walking around the block is a good start. 3. Get your eight hours of sleep. 4. Most important ASK FOR HELP WHEN YOU NEED IT. And you are by calling in professional cleaners. The upkeep of cleaning your house, cut down to bit size chunks like some people have suggested, is also great self care.

Best of luck to you, OP.

This lady is kooky but her litter system is affordable (pine bedding) & easy to clean.

Pine bedding for horses costs about $8 for 40lbs & it’s non toxic. Problem is you have to buy it at the store (Tractor Supply Company). They don’t deliver. You can’t beat that price for cat litter.

OP, please keep us updated after the cleaners leave!

OP if you have this much anxiety about cleaning, how can you get anything done? When the brain is overloaded, negative signals from our environment all the time literally crowd everything else out and degrade our ability to function - it has a cognitive effect. Break it down and see if that's a start.

The research here is on poverty's assault on the brain, but presumably lots of stressors could have the same effect

OP, your words really touched me I have depression for many years however the past six months my life fell apart. My place was disgusting and a mess and I did not hesitaste to have cleaners. Having worked with many of them in the past I can assure you that they do NOT judge as they become used to dirty and messy homes. I remember they would say the more work the better and they felt rewarded for being able to help others who could not catch up with keeping their places organized. If they do a good job make sure you throw extra cash to cleaners. Don’t tip on your credit card as normally the money will go to the owner, and not to cleaners. God bless and keep us updated.

OP dont be hard on yourself. We all go through this. Whenever my place starts looking crazy I think of Nippy's drug den and I get a nice laugh, imagining myself being outed as a messy dirty person on the cover of the National Enquirer. Start with something small and day by day it will improve.

Kindly fuck off, R12

Don’t be embarrassed OP. It will be worth it. You’ll have faced a fear head on and have a beautifully clean house to show for it. A lot to build a new start on.

Godspeed!

Get onto that hoarding show! You’ll be famous and please mention DL so we know it’s you!

Thank you eveyone! They are due here later today and I will let you know how it went. You've made me feel so much better, truly.

OP take pics of any cute cleaners for us!

Seriously, stay calm, they will have seen SO much worse. Think how happy your kitties will be 😊

OP, a likely completely meaningless sentiment (as I am a random internet stranger) but, I am proud of you!

I haven't deep cleaned my house since my mom died a few years ago. The kitchen is greasy, everything is dusty and there's cobwebs on the walls. Christ, I sound like Norman Bates.

I feel for you, OP. I'm going to get cleaners in as soon as I tackle the clutter. My library looks like it exploded, surplus books on the floor, paperwork on every surface.

We can do this!

I wonder what it costs to have a filthy house cleaned?

Well, they've come and gone. I have to admit I took 3 Ativan before they came. Anyway, I think it went well. The guy was really really nice and seemed understanding. He didn't make me feel embarrassed or make me feel like a s***** person or anything like that. He said to give him 2 or 3 days and he'd work up an estimate for me so I'll see how much its going to cost me. I'm glad I went through with it and I'll let you know what the cost going to be. I already feel like there's been a weight lifted even though the cleaning hasn't even started yet. Thanks for your encouraging words.

Keep us updated OP, you're doing the right thing

I need that service (health problems) but probably can't afford it.

Good, OP. See? I’m sure he’s seen MUCH worse.

So glad you took that first step, OP. Keep posting your updates. You can do this.

OP, voice of experience here: don’t try to tackle the entire project all at once. Try bite-sized pieces.

Try this technique: Rather than trying to tackle an entire room at once pick a 1’ square foot area and focus only on what is within it. Once you are done with that 1 sq ft area step back and pick the next one, maybe in another room.

Changing the room you are working in will help you compartmentalize the sorting process. You will be able to become emotionally detached from the items you are sorting and the decision-making process will be easier and faster.

We used this technique with an older relative who had let her house go. It made it much easier for her to process her thoughts and get the sorting / cleaning done.

[quote]I know the cats have shit and pissed on things because I haven't kept the litter boxes clean.

Although I'm sympathetic to your situation you need to get it together [italic]AT LEAST[/italic] enough to care for your cats. Neglecting them is tantamount to abuse. Or make the decision to rehome them.

Disgusting.

OP, I read somewhere something that really helped me get rid of old clothes, broken appliances, etc. “If it’s broken, torn or stained, Goodwill won’t take it. And if it’s too messed up for Goodwill, you should throw it away, because you deserve better than things that aren’t even good enough for Goodwill.”

That really helped me go through random items that I didn’t know what to do with but thought might be useful one day. “Could I give this shirt to Goodwill? No, because it has a stain on it that won’t come out.” Then I would throw it in the trash. “Could I give this knickknack to Goodwill? No, because it’s chipped and cracked.” Toss. I went through a lot of worn out underwear, socks with holes or no mates, stained plastic items, very quickly that way. I’ve cleaned out two people’s hoards so far. One was probably worse than yours, extremely dirty with maggots, roaches, cat shit everywhere, trash, rotten food, you name it. I ran the dishwasher all day, dishes, baskets, ceramic pots, if I could clean it in there I would clean it. Even stuff that was cleanable, I just gave away, because when I found it, it was so filthy I couldn’t stand to have it in my house, no matter how well it cleaned up.

About the pissed on clothes, you will never get the cat smell out of them and the cats will continue to smell it and continue to piss on it because they’ve marked it. Throw away every single pissed-on item, you’re just training them to piss all over the house which is bad. You actually don’t need that many clothes and you’ll be healthier without all that bacteria around. Another thing you should get rid of is every pillow in the house. If your house is that bad, it’s full of dust mites and so are the pillows. This makes a big difference to your health. Mold exposure can also cause fatigue and lethargy, so look around for leaks and unwashed dishes or anything that might carry mold and put it in the dishwasher. If you can’t wash it in the dishwasher, it’s uncleanable. Throw it out. You might be having a health issue, not just depression. Open every window in the house and get a cross draft going. You should wear rubber gloves and a mask. Even goggles if you have them. Once this stuff gets stirred up, a lot of particles will go into the air. Buy some white vinegar and clean with that where you can, it will cut the smell. Carry a large trash bag with you around the house. Put things in it. When it gets too clumsy or heavy, take it outside and get rid of it. Get another bag.

When I was a kid, my mom had a bad divorce and we ended up living in an empty apartment with nothing but the clothes on our backs. We lived there three years with aluminum lawn chairs for furniture. That was the happiest, most peaceful place I’ve ever lived. You think you’ll miss it, but in reality it’s a relief and you feel a burden lifted off your shoulders. It’s like excess possessions are a physical burden you don’t realize is there.

R71 I was totally thinking about the same thing and you mentioned it in your last paragraph. I’m trying to become more minimalist in my life because I have so much crap I never use! I started watching some videos on YouTube. Some videos are too extreme for my taste though. Just watch a few and get yourself started to thinking a more minimalist mindset. It’ll help you get rid of stuff! And in the end it’s all just stuff!

Marie Kondo is on Netflix and that might help you too. She has a strategy for getting rid of things you have loved but are too worn out or no longer useful. She thanks them for their service, then throws them away or donates them. She says, they have served their purpose and are used up. Thinking of it that way helped me.

Another concept I read about hoarding was that to give things away that you may have bought, because they were a flea market bargain or intrigued you at a store, but are no longer useful to you, is that you “took them out of the stream” and are now “returning them to the stream.” In other words, many things, like furniture, last longer than we do. Return them back to the stream so another person can enjoy them, who does have a use for them, by donating or selling them, if they are in good condition and can be useful to somebody else. A hoarder I knew “returned things to the stream for others to enjoy” by donating to a battered women’s shelter. Those women have nothing, and nice quality things really help them.

But don’t donate things that are moldy, broken, damaged or peed on. Don’t give anyone else a potential health or safety problem, especially if you know they’re poor and can’t afford to get a better one to replace it. If it’s unhealthy for them, it’s unhealthy for you too. Throw it away if it’s a health risk. Nothing is more valuable than your health.

[quote]About the pissed on clothes, you will never get the cat smell out of them and the cats will continue to smell it and continue to piss on it because they’ve marked it. Throw away every single pissed-on item, you’re just training them to piss all over the house which is bad.

There is actually a product called Simple Solution that can help you save some fabric items, if you really want to. When mom died I kept a lot of her blankets and went to freshen one up in the dryer, only to realize it smelled like cat pee once it warmed up. She probably had no idea her cat had peed on it. I also inherited the cat and didn't want to give up the blanket but didn't want him to smell his own pee on it and think "hey, alright, pee spot" every time I got it out. Soaking it in warm soapy water with some Simple Solution did the trick.

I wouldn't save all of your peed-on items, get rid of the ones that are least important, but if you have something you really want to save, you probably can.

You are an animal abuser.

Burn in Hell.

R75

OP is depressed and is working his way out of it so try to be kind and supportive. The more support OP receives, the better care the cats will receive.

OP, this may sound puritanical but my advice is to hold off on the electric litter boxes until you can psychologically get your life and environment under control. Perhaps use them as a carrot that you can ‘earn’ once you have kept your cat’s boxes clean for two months? Just a thought. It may not work for you but if I have an odious task, I’ll give myself a related reward, ie., I cleared out a lot of useless clutter and stayed organized and rewarded myself with two new Elfa closets after about six months. We’re all rooting for you, as I imagine many of us have found ourselves in similar situations. Keep us posted.

I think anything OP can use to get the cat situation sorted ASAP would be a good thing. It's about the cats at this point. I'm not the dude screaming about animal abuse, but I do think those cats need a nicer catpan area and if that means electric boxes, then get them.

How do those electric boxes work? Do they flush and empty themselves or just conceal the odour from the owner? I wrote below asking about the state of the cats - their teeth, weight, behaviour, etc. Still waiting for an answer.

OP, can you send the cats to live with a family member or friend for a while? It might take the pressure off temporarily and help motivate you to clean so they can come back.

r79, the one I had used clumping litter, then had a sensor to run a rake through the litter about 5-10 minutes after a cat has left. The clumps are raked into a plastic disposable container that you just throw away when it gets full. The plastic container had a lid that lifted up and went back down to mostly hide the smell. It wasn't too bad, but as I mentioned the clumps get moldy and that's kind of gross.

OP, How much did it cost?

Try using "College Hunks Hauling Junk", and let us know how hunky the hunks are!

^^ I used those guys. They were cute and a bit shy. Not the muscle boys I was hoping for but they did a good job for a reasonable price. .

Stop harping on OP about the cats. He's making changes after a run of debilitating depression.

OP I'm curious to know what kind of service you've hired. An elderly gay I know is buried in his house and I'd like to clean it up for him but not sure who to contact.

Will your service pick up and throw out things on the floor and put the house in order?. Or are you obliged to tidy up before they begin cleaning?I

Perhaps some if you might know the answer: may I put my gay elder friend at some kind of risk by engaging a cleaning service? He has a small dog he adores. I wonder if any if these companies might contact social services or animal control.

Op how is it going? Any progress?

They cleaned OP out, never to be heard of again.

R85, maybe you could send the dog to be groomed for the day and boarded. I think PetSmart does boarding, I know they have vets on site.

R85 I’m the pt cleaner from way back and agree with r88 ‘s advice. Pets are best out of the house (if possible) during a deep clean, for both the pet’s sake and the cleaners.

Most cleaners are not organizers. Leaving shit on the floor or on countertops only impedes their work. We had a few clients we ultimately dropped because they continually neglected to remove junk off the floors and it became a hazard for the crew.

If your elder friend is in a hoarder situation, best to deal with that first, then clean.

R88 here. Forgot to mention, if you take the dog to be groomed or boarded, they will want proof he had his shots.

He needs them anyway, so if you can, get that done ahead of time. If it’s a one day cleaning situation, you could drop him off at the morning and pick him up at night. It’s also good to get him chipped if you can afford it. If he gets out, he can be returned.

If the dog needs to be boarded several days, get the shots first, get proof of the shots, and make a copy for the groomer, and your file at home. If he bites someone, it can save him from being confined at the pound. If he needs a license, they will require the documentation. Keep him away from the house as they leave the door open for hours and he’ll get out.

Re: older gay friend. No I don't think he's a hoarder. He just can't take care of himself properly. I don't want to trigger a response that makes him a ward of the Court Thanks for your ideas, but still not sure who to call to clean up his place

I'm not mad at you OP I'm mad at the dirt.

R91, I had a relative in a similar situation. I came by regularly and spent a few days cleaning so it didn’t get too out of hand. But every time I went, every dish was dirty, all the clothes/linens were dirty, and they would just buy more online so there were 50 sets of dirty sheets or towels everywhere. Never threw the worn out ones away. And never any food or toilet paper on hand.

It’s been my experience that sometimes older people in these situations get very prickly and offended by your commenting on an obvious mess. They take it as a personal insult sometimes.

My advice would be, help them clean it up one time, then get a cleaning lady to come in once a week to do the laundry or whatever they can’t do. You can simplify people’s lives a lot with automatic deduction for bill paying and some kind of schedule for a cleaner. If they can’t get groceries, figure out what they eat and order it for them. All they have to do is put it away.

I don’t know if this is true for your friend, but with my person, they just got offended by every attempt at helping. And they hated any unusual disruption at all, so scheduling is better. In the end, sometimes old people just get angry and embarrassed because they can’t do things, and they take it out on friends and family. But not on strangers.

R85 "asking for a friend," if the dog is in such a bad state that an objective person would call Animal Control, why would you impede that? Does your friend have the right to neglect a vulnerable pet?

I spent many years as a Legal Services attorney representing tenants in NYC Housing Court. I represented more than my share of hoarders. Hoarding is a mental illness, rooted in OCD.

You are wasting your time cleaning your loved ones' filthy homes unless you also get your hoarder to skilled mental health care, probably including psychopharmacology. Of course, that cannot happen unless the hoarder agrees to see these professionals and is motivated to change. Good luck with that. A social work case manager would to keep an eye on the apartment is good going forward. If you clean it, within six months it will revert.

Whether it is hoarding 67 cats in a Manhattan studio apartment or something even worse, the problem is bigger and more intractable than you are likely to be. You cannot make a dent with a real hoarder. They must want to change and you must accept they might not be able to make that change because of the mental illness.

Throwing support out to the OP. Wonder how it's going? How are the cats? I'm having a rough week/month/year/few years and this thread is just comforting to read, regarding the advice and support.

Once the cats have clean litter and a clean box, they should be back to normal.

A close friend of mine regularly cleans her neighbors apartment and it's a nice arrangement and also provide some company and conversation for each other. The neighbors apartment was out of control (also with two cats) and my friend needed extra money. She cleans and organizes the apartment once or twice a week for a few hours. Just an idea as opposed to a regular cleaning company - going forward.

R95, good luck getting a hoarder to go for any kind of therapy. Most are so fearful of any criticism they hide from any mental health services.

What some people have to do is suck it up and clean it, because the alternative is having an unhealthy environment not only for the hoarder but the entire neighborhood or apartment building. And the weight of the hoard can cause structural damage that is too expensive to repair. These people spend all their money on hoarding and have no money to renovate a rat and piss infested house. And nobody in their right mind wants them moving in after they’ve trashed their own place to the ground.

When my mom was hoarding, I called adult protective services, the health department, her doctors, my relatives and anybody else I could find. Took pictures, begged and begged the health department to cite her. They very reluctantly did but told me it was worthless because they couldn’t enforce anything. She finally passed away, but it would have been from the hoard straight to a nursing home if she lived. And it’s virtually impossible to commit a person who can’t care for themselves. Believe me, I tried. The only hope you have is to lawyer up and try to get a conservatorship. But that’s very hard to do if the person doesn’t want it. Judges are far too lax. They let anything go if the person can barely communicate and isn’t in a coma.

R95 Sometimes I feel so blessed that my mentally ill mother's favorite day is garbage day. I'm so thankful, that for all of her issues, she loves throwing shit away and is not a hoarder.

[Quote]if the dog is in such a bad state that an objective person would call Animal Control, why would you impede that? Does your friend have the right to neglect a vulnerable pet?

No, the dog is not in bad shape. I take him to the park with my dog when I can and to the groomers once in a while. He is greatly loved. Sure the house looks like shit and needs badly to be cleaned and organised but I don't want to see a destructive intervention that separates man and dog.

You might call the “got junk” people to haul off a lot of your extra stuff and then cleaners to clean. I say “when in doubt, throw it out.” Have never missed anything I’ve tossed. Then take inventory of what carpet, floors and furniture needs replacing. With cats you might want to get rid of all carpeting. It’s great you are on medication and hopefully therapy can help you get unstuck.

I had a cousin who became seriously ill and lived in another state from me. She was alone and no one was looking after her, so I flew out to see her. The house was a shambles inside - enough to make you gag. I tried to get it cleaned up but the job was overwhelming. I called in a cleaning service - it cost $500 but was worth every penny. A crew came in and scrubbed the place from floor to ceiling. The difference was amazing. And though my cousin's health unfortunately continued to deteriorate, having a clean home once again really lifted her spirits.

$500 isn't bad for a pig sty.

Hi R95 are you single and equipped with a big willy?

They must have taken OP out in a pine box!

Why yes, R103. Yes, I certainly am.

How did you know?

That was a nice thing you did R101.

We need more R101’s in the world.

Unfortunately, more often it’s people’s kids who can’t be bothered to do anything and let their parents suffer in squalor. The people on Hoarders who bend over backwards for their parents are not as common as you might think.

R107 needs to restrict himself to commenting on topics about which he knows something. Most of the people who do not help their parents in this situation have simply been burned out by it. They have tried and ultimately failed again and again. There is no reason to spend the money or the do the back breaking work when the parent's mental illness renders the assistance wholly temporary. Temporary and short lived.

Some peoples homes are in shambles because they are going through a serious illness like R101. They can’t keep up with the housework because they’re weak or in pain, etc. Other peoples homes are in a shambles because they’re mentally unwell and don’t see a problem with it.

I have a sibling who is mentally ill and lives in a home that is very very messy & unsanitary. At one time she had bedbugs too. The problem is if you were to hire someone to clean up the whole house, within a month it would revert back and look like it was before it was cleaned. She simply does not clean the house. I will not step foot into her house ever.

R50’s pine litter will attract termites. I discovered this the hard way, and it’s why I don’t use it.

I am much like you OP and I hired a clean up crew and said I'm doing this for a loved one. It was over in a few hours and the relief I felt can't be described! It was really bad too I lived as a shut in for a year. I can now have family and friends over if it's ever safe again. You won't have to see the crew people again and I promise you they aren't judging.

R111, I feel like these days you have to worry about people taking pictures and posting it to Twitter or something like that. Glad to hear you got your house back in shape! Hopefully things are better for you.

R111 here. No they won't do that. You could keep an eye on them and make it known that discretion is extremely important up front and that no photos are to be taken. You could even have them put their phones in a basket. I had the most embarrassing incident in which someone had to come inside. The sheer mortification alone caused a massive nervous break down and that really kicked my ass into gear. I bought contractor bags and filled up so many but it made the job a lot easier. I couldn't see an end and almost gave up, but then I reminded myself that the embarrassment is so much worse. I've also hired a cleaning lady to help keep things in order because it's very easy to fall back into that trap. The way I found a good cleaning/hauling crew is by looking at some yelp pics of the most extreme cases. Those are the cleaners you want. You can do this and your life will change for the better I promise.

[quote] You could keep an eye on them and make it known that discretion is extremely important up front and that no photos are to be taken. You could even have them put their phones in a basket.

This is seriously insulting to the cleaning crew. Many of us are listening to podcasts or music to get through cleaning your home. We’re professionals, not teenagers. Don't do this.

It's NOT insulting to state no phones if the person I responded to felt that worried and sensitive to photos being taken. The client has every right to state no phones if it makes he/she uncomfortable.

And you are worried about looking like a crazy person?

"PUT YOUR PHONES IN THE BASKET!"

Anywhere a cat has peed or pooped is now designated as a feline toilet. This includes many types of flooring, beds, upholstery, and furniture. Same for any wall that has been scent marked with urine. Nothing can change this fact.

R108, I personally cleaned my mother’s hoarded up house. It took me forty hours a week, for an entire month to clean it.

There were maggots in the sink because she didn’t do dishes. Hordes of cockroaches, in big masses or clumps, nesting in pots and pans in the cupboard. I couldn’t sit down anywhere but on the toilet seat because her furniture was totally infested with roaches and if you sat down, a swarm of roaches would come out from under the seat cushion and climb on you.

She had quit cleaning the cat box months before, so the box was totally filled with feces and then the cat started taking dumps behind the bedroom door and pissing there. The cat was really freaked out by my presence and attacked me. She jumped on my back, screaming and howling and stuck her claws in my back. My sister took her to a groomer and found a home for her at a cat refuge so I could finish cleaning.

There was bleach poured on the brown carpet (never found out why). She had pulled over a glass table on a pedestal with an extremely heavy glass top, and was walking on it slanted, to get around. Knocked stuff off the bookcases grabbing them on the way down from many uncontrolled falls. There were full, opened peanut butter jars thrown on the floor with no lid. With roaches inside, eating. About six quarts of orange juice in the fridge. She just kept buying it. There were flammable objects piled up on top of the gas stove.

The bedroom was full of boxes and trash. The hall to the bathroom was piled with flattened cardboard boxes with piles of debris under them. She would walk on the slanted, slippery surface to get around.

My sister went every week to clean until I moved away. We would come back the next week and you would think we’d never been there.

I tried fucking everything to get her help. She just kept saying no. I took pictures and showed them to a judge. Still no. Because she could say a few halting words, even though it was obvious she had some kind of brain damage. Dragged her to doctors for years. All of them told me this was ”normal aging.” I lost my job because I missed too much time off work and became homeless, couch surfing and struggling for years after.

I had to move away, and when she ended up in the hospital, I came back and ended up cleaning the house alone and sleeping on somebody’s couch somewhere else, because I was the only unemployed one who could take the time to do it. I had to take a shower and wash my clothes the second I got there every night because of the piles of roaches everywhere. I would close my eyes at night and see clumps of roaches. It was all in such horrible shape I got rid of almost everything. Even after washing I didn’t want any of it.

Is that enough experience for you, or shall I tell you about the other relatives’ hoards I cleaned out?

You needed a therapist, too, R118.

You did not take care of yourself. That's your first responsibility.

R119, I know that now, but I was extremely poor, homeless and it was in the middle of a bad recession. I looked for work for months and could only get part time, not enough to save anything but enough not to qualify for any help. Plus my health was ruined too from stress, and I was very sick for years, but couldn’t go on disability because I couldn’t keep a roof over my head. So I went to work sick every day for about ten years. I was just scrambling to keep a roof over my head for years. I finally recovered.

My relatives that lived nearby quit cleaning after I left town, that’s how the extreme mess happened. When she went into the hospital, I came back and cleaned and emptied it.

The second hoarder I dealt with, I learned from the first experience. I went every couple of months and cleaned everything (usually took 3-5 days). Did the laundry, washed all the dishes, vacuumed and cleaned. I bought shelves and organized as I went. They would buy stuff and leave it in the packing box for years. So there were unopened boxes piled up near the door. I would have to empty them and put the stuff away.

When they finally left their hoard behind, it was a lot but it was clean and organized, mostly on shelves in a spare room. The house needed a thorough cleaning and repairs, because they wouldn’t let anybody in, but it was much better than I described above. Dirty stinking dishes and rotting food in the sink, fridge and bedroom with that one too, but luckily no maggots. The bedroom and kitchen were the worst, the rest was pretty good. The kitchen was pretty cleanable, it was just grimy and sticky and dirty dishes. There was a bug infestation that had to be gotten rid of though. The cat vomited under the bed many times and it was never cleaned for years.

R218 you are incredible!

*makes note to be the 218th post*

aww, thanks r121!

R121, In both of the cases I described, the person was suffering from mental impairment due to physical illness. Both people were also mentally ill, with depression and at least one was bipolar. I think this type of behavior is usually caused by mental illness, but there can be a physical component too. I would say to a person that suffers with this illness, go to the doctor and get a top to bottom exam. Have all your medications checked to make sure they don’t interact badly, and look up the names of your medications online for side effects. Depression can be a side effect of some medications. If you’re taking several with the same side effect, it can be worse. Dehydration can also cause depression in animals and people.

If there’s mold or water damage in the house, Kilz (paint) makes a paint primer that’s specially formulated to control mold. If you find moldy walls for example, clean it with bleach spray and put Kilz over it. That will stop it from getting worse and make it safer to be around. Mold can cause lethargy and depression. Check the metal hoses and connectors behind the toilet and sinks for green verdigris or leaking. If it’s green, rusty or leaking, get a plumber to replace it before it rots the wall, or god forbid, breaks.

Also, check your vitamin levels and try to go outside in the sun and sit for at least an hour a day. Vitamin D helps a lot with depression.

My god, R118.

Which part, R124?

[quote] The sheer mortification alone caused a massive nervous break down and that really kicked my ass into gear.

Now, that’s pearl-clutching!

The clumps of cockroaches would have sent me right over the edge, R125.

I'd have found a way to put your mother in a rest home and burn the house down to collect the insurance.

bump

My mother was a hoarder (is a hoarder still I guess). We tried several times to get her to let us get the cleaners in but she kept saying they would judge her. Finally she got sick and was hospitalized so we hired cleaners and did it while she was out. Big mistake. She had a fit, would not talk to me or my brother for 6 months except to call us and tell us how we threw out her life. Deal with your mess no matter how embarrassed you are.

R129, on the Hoarders TV show they tell you not to do that, because that freaks them out.

I’ve dealt with two hoarders in the family. One was so fearful someone was going to take her hoard, she started telling every single person she knew that had ever met me or ever heard of me, that I and my then bf were going to “kill her and take all her things.” Since a lot of those people hadn’t seen me since I was a small child, they just assumed I must have grown up to be a terrible person. Not one person stopped to think that there was anything irrational about this. They just accepted it must be true.

It ruined my relationship with my extended family, who are probably convinced to this day that I’m a scumbag. I probably never knew how many people she contacted. My childhood friend’s mother, distant relatives. She knew where I worked, and started contacting my boss and every individual coworker. I got fired.

I learned something from this experience: everyone has some end that they are convinced is going to happen to them, related to their greatest fears. How fearful do you have to be, to think your most likely cause of death is someone wanting to kill you to steal your hoard? But these people are totally irrational.

R130, that's awful.

I'm sorry to hear that R130. My bf's mother isn't a hoarder but she is mentally ill, and she did the same thing with false stories about how he was going to steal all her money or whatever. It's a common manipulation tactic. I hope she's stopped, but if she hasn't, contact a lawyer. It's what we had to do. A scary legal letter or two might help.

OP? How are you doing?

R132, she died.

At the time, I spoke to a geriatric psychologist who said old people getting paranoid was very common and often a sign of mental deterioration. For some reason, the person they usually go after is a caretaker or somebody that’s caring for them. They trust random strangers but not their caretaker.

r130 yeah we found out afterwards. For a month straight we got hate filled calls and letters. I finally let her have it on the phone. We threw out 30 years of worthless shit mom, what the fuck were you going to do with 30 cans of expired peaches. She has not spoken to me since.

I stopped helping people move house. For one thing, I hate it. For another, I had bad experiences trying to help two different semi-hoarders, one male, one female. With the female, everything was something she could use again in the future (i.e., we were packing up a lot of junk). With the male, I was helping with his fridge. He had tons of different condiments with barely anything in each container. He insisted on moving each item (rather than dump it).

Same here, R136. Trying to move a hoarder is a nightmare. Even if the stuff is clean, there’s always a fight about what to take because they refuse to get rid of worn out or duplicate items. So you’re breaking you back carrying boxes of ragged towels and torn sheets. Then there’s always a fight on the other side when it’s discovered their new home isn’t the size of Walmart and there’s no way to fit it all in there. You end up leaving them with rooms jammed full of boxes that will never be unpacked.

One hoarder I know bought a gigantic bedroom set that couldn’t fit in a tiny bedroom, then said “I’ll make it fit” while the professional movers were moving it every which way trying to make it fit. They obviously knew there was no way to make it work. They finally agreed to return it and buy a “smaller” set, which was also gigantic but physically fit in the room. You could hardly walk in there.

How's OP?

bump

What's wrong with a filthy house?

OPeeeeee? Where are you?

OP has apparently died when the pile of overflowing boxes and 19 years of the local daily paper stacked eight feet high IN THE ROOM HE WOULDN'T LET THEM SEE MUCH LESS CLEAN fell and buried him.

OP must have decided the estimate to clean his hoard wasn’t worth it.

bump

Can I have OP's things?

bomb

Bumpy.

Topolobumpo

OP decided not to do anything about the mess and is ashamed to tell us.

But we want to know, OP. Don't leave us hanging.

R118, I'm blown away by your post. Good god. I hope you are doing better.

OP here. Sorry to be so late in getting back to you. Overall the cleaning went very well. They focused on what I said my priorities were and got those areas done. It cost approximately $200 an hour for 3 people. On the second day one of the workers seemed new and inexperienced and didn't quite do as good a job is the others. She was focusing on the kitchen in just left odd little things undone. Of course I didn't notice until after they all left. I'm not sure if I'm going to proceed with the rest of the room I'm trying to decide. My friends are encouraging me to do it and just get it over with but I don't know. I do have to say that having the areas cleaned have lifted my mood quite a bit. Makes me feel like maybe I can do the rest myself, but maybe I'm just kidding myself. The cleaners couldn't have been nicer. Never made me feel bad about the condition of the house.

That's wonderful, OP. How many hours did it take?

R152, OP, how many rooms do you have left to do? May as well do it all you’ll feel so much better! I’m proud of you and wish you well!

OP R152, just have them finish it all and then you commit to maintaining it.

Good show, OP!

OP, everybody needs a guide. If you want to try it on your own, try this link to keep you focused. I too am disposed to letting matters follow their own course when it comes to cleaning but because I'm lazy, not depressed, so I haven't had to call in the national guard yet. It's easy to get overwhelmed and then paralysed. The site helped me focus, gave me marching orders. You went through a tough experience. The house was your pain manifesting. I am glad you took it on. Well done.

Sorry for Frau-ing out, ladies, but sometimes they actually are worth it.

Here's an example from the site:

Five-Minute Room Rescue This is a reminder to spend just five minutes clearing a path in your worst room. You know this area of your home: the place you would never allow anyone to see. Just five minutes a day for the next 27 days, and you will have a place that you can be proud to take anyone!

It's not rocket science and the site is sugary sweet Frau central... but if you sift through it you can find some useful toe holds. When my place overwhelms me this is a good place to find a way to start. Think on it, just five minutes a day if that's all you can do, but five minutes every day adds up eventually. I just know when confronted with a big mess it can be hard to know where to start and easier to surf DL.

I wish you great good luck!

Bump for us slobbos.

Let the cleaners do all of ur house.

[quote]Have any of you had to have your house cleaned by extreme cleaners?

If only.

Just FYI, the guy calling OP an animal abuser is off using the n-word all over the rest of the board, including the Chadwick Boseman threads.

Back on topic: I keep this thread in my watcher because I'm interested in OP's updates but also because it helps me remember to keep going in my own decluttering job. Hope OP had the company do the rest of his house.

I need a cleaning company too. Getting crazy from the mess

I am really proud of OP and rooting for him. Depression causes me to not clean too. It’s quite common. You are not alone

Glad to hear from you OP! I've been checking on this thread on and off.

I know depression well and though I've never experienced what you have I have had a couple of friends who just went "fuck it" and stopped cleaning and picking stuff up after a series of cruel life events that just broke something in them. These are good, smart people just trying to get on with their lives as best they can, and for some reason this worked for them. I hate these reality shows that sensationalize and stigmatize people's problems. Fuck that. Try being kind to other people instead of fucking them over and maybe we'd have less of this.

I went to IMDB and there's nothing about the Olson Twins and a rereboot.

After two years of not vacuuming, it really doesn't matter. Even if it does get dirtier, it stops showing.

Now let us fight amongst ourselves: should you sweep before you vacuum? Personally, there's only so much time in the day.

A filthy house is the sign of a deeper psychological problem. Don’t blame yourself or hate yourself. Get help for the depression

At least OP can afford cleaners. That's something. It's also something that he made the effort to do something about the situation.

Thank you, OP, for talking about this.

bump

Call Judy and Liza.

All I can do, OP, is ask you, "Yes!" Yes, it will."

It made me smile today when I read OP called the cleaners.

R9, I've been doing exactly that. In October the haulers will make their third visit here. This time I'm getting rid of an entire bedroom suite, among lots of other items.

I'm looking forward to the space.

I also bought lidded storage containers at Lowe's, for photos, important papers, and the like.

I'm starting to hate "things."

OMG is this thread STILL around?

People are THIS fascinated by OP's dirty house?

Thanks for the FORTY!! WW's! But REALLY! (aka gurl, puhlease!)

Every time I look around my house and think about vacuuming, I reread this thread, realize things could be worse, and have a drink instead.

Thanks for all the support. I really mean that. I still haven't called them back to do the rest of the house because I still think I can do it myself, though my friends say to "call the man". Still debating it in my head. It is a lot of money. I also have more stuff than I need in this house (downsized to a smaller house a few years ago) so there's a,lot to get rid of even though I got rid of a lot of stuff before I moved. I used to do most of the cooking and have nice dishes , pots, pan etc. But haven't cooked for myself in two years. Don't know if I should start getting rid of some of that shit. Maybe I'll start with my bedroom. Been sleeping in spare room because I couldn't make myself change the last sheets he slept on...it been over two years so I know it's pathetic and gross.

Anyway, thanks again for all the good thoughts. They have definitely helped this poor slob!

you need to have a minimum of 3 cleared rooms. bedroom, bathroom and kitchen. get to it, call them for those 3 rooms for now!

OP, call them back and finish the job. You’re making progress but if you don’t finish it, before you know it your initial investment will be for naught.

If you are sleeping in the spare room, just make it your bedroom for now. Clean it out, maybe splurge on new furnishings and redecorate a bit. Work on cleaning out the MBR once the rest of the house is done.

I had a friend in HS whose dad died unexpectedly. His mom slept on the living room couch for years because she couldn’t bear to sleep in their room without him. She was in a deep depression but also developed back and neck problems and was miserable but couldn’t get out of her own way. You seem like you realize your situation is out of hand and you have to move on physically.

Good luck!

I'm gonna sound like a hoarder but if I lived anywhere near you I'd take some of your pots and pans. Mine are starting to go south and I do a lot of cooking.

At least donate them to Goodwill or something.

One of best threads in DL

*the

*the

Agreed

Not the house but a room... I tweeted a reality show that was looking for messy rooms...we had one. It was a horror.. They actually came and filmed for three days cleaning the mess and redoing the bedroom. One the pigsty was cleaned up, the owner of the room kept it clean.

I'm late to the thread, but can share personal experience with extreme cleaners and what they can do. You have to pay but it's worth it.

A close family member was killed by another family member who then left him in the kitchen where it happened for several days. A close shotgun to the head is catastrophic. He was upright, sitting on a kitchen chair. You can imagine what that left, and it all rain down into and through the wall, down to the basement and pooled there. I didn't find him but came close after. The smell was worse than anything I experienced with butchering on the farm because you do that in cold weather, and it was summer and, no, they didn't have an ac. They lived poorly. They also hoarded, and the piles of crap and paper and everything else in the kitchen got hit, too. The whole house was piled-up.

What made it worse was that because it was a crime scene and they didn't actually know what happened (We all did.), things just sat there. Horrible. Not him, but the rest of the mess. And the searches and all made it even worse. They found all kinds of dead rodents and live mice were jumping through the air, they said. A complete horror.

So I had the responsibility of the "estate" and all. I finally hired a company that does hoarder and trauma scene cleaning. I told them just to rip the wall out and what was left of the basement ceiling and carry it out, and clean and disinfect everything. Throw everything that was left out and keep anything they wanted. It took over a week. But at least I could sell it "as is" eventually. It still had that smell, because nothing really gets it out, like after a fire. But I hope that after another year or so the title and all would be clear. It was in both their names, and they caught him and charged him but the legal shit is still tangled up.

What if you also have boxes and piles of things that are in the way? Do the cleaners deal with that, too?

Bumping this thread because I'm thisclose to being on one of "those" shows. It's not hoarding so much (though that is starting) but more like "extreme grubbing". It is like I don't see the grub until it is out of hand. I am also extremely depressed and my dump reflects my mental struggle. Anyway, for the first time in my grubby life, I now have signs of mice and that has me freaking the fuck out. I'm also a renter so there is that stress on top of it. The annual inspection got postponed due to COVID and I could almost kiss that sweet pandemic for sparing me the freakout. Of course I am just delaying the inevitable. It's been bad, but never this bad, and the state of my mind is fucking with the state of my dump which is fucking with the state of my mind.

I really feel like I'm going to lose it completely, if I haven't already.

Forgot to add... I'm familiar with the Flylady site (I can't get past the Frau) and Unfuck Your Habitat (I can't even get out of bed let alone make my bed which she considers a priority. To me that seems like the last fucking thing I should focus on, )

Make the situation "smaller" by doing a little part, whether that a quarter of a room or whatever. You will get a sense of achievement that you can build upon to eventually finish the whole job. You may be surprised but it's uplifting to rid yourself of waste, things you don't need or use etc.

OP's title would be a good title for as porn parody of "Fuller House."

My suggestion (as someone who sometimes flies close to my inner hoarder), is to bring a sizeable garbage container (like 32 gallon, if you can find it) to a specific location in your apartment or house. Don't even think about a room. Simply place the garbage container near a messy place, such as a chair that's piled high with crap. Start from the top of the pile, take a quick peek to make sure it's not a check from your Uncle, and dump it into the trash can. Whittle your way to the bottom of the chair. Then reward yourself. (Ice cream cone, an hour of porn watching, whatever). The next day, move your garbage container to another messy spot and repeat. Soon enough, you will see such major improvement that you will be inspired to do two messy spots in one day. Before you know it, you will have one cleared room. Whatever you do, don't get distracted, or move to another spot before you have finished the first spot.

R196 That is a fabulous idea! My problem is I live in a condo complex with these ridiculously small assigned bins. Extra bins not allowed. I think the only solution for me at this point is an asteroid. And not one of those "near miss" coy fuckers. I mean a proper hit. Sorry to take you guys with me, but...

R192 Please see a therapist, too. You know what needs to be done to get your home in order so please take care of your mental health, too. Are you getting enough Vitamin D? Take a supplement and head outside for 20 minutes or so a day. Good luck.

[Quote] That is a fabulous idea! My problem is I live in a condo complex with these ridiculously small assigned bins. Extra bins not allowed.

Then dump stuff in another bin off the property. Quit your excuses, fabulous.

[quote] What if you also have boxes and piles of things that are in the way? Do the cleaners deal with that, too?

Nope. You need someone that specializes in organization or hoarding. Cleaners clean. A good cleaning company would probably refuse an ultracluttered space because it’s a hazard to the staff and they wouldn’t be able to get anything done.

Just pack up the clutter. Get bins, laundry baskets, whatever. Pile the clutter in those and place it in an area where you can sort it.

How do I clean a stovetop that is completely hardened with grease and grime? I hate cleaning this kitchen item and it shows. I clean it about every 6-9 months and the last time I went to the hardware store to ask for cleaning item tips. What was recommended did not work any better than cheap Comet cleaner or soap and elbow grease.

I've read submerging what can be removed from the stovetop in ammonia overnight works. I'm afraid of using or even having ammonia in my home though. I'm in an apartment and there's no way I will have ammonia out for a long period of time. Plus, I have cats.

4. Banish Grease on Burners Tackle notoriously tough grease on stove burners with this trick. Place each burner in a separate sealable plastic bag filled with ¼ cup ammonia. Seal each bag to keep fumes at bay, and place in a sink or washtub for eight to 12 hours. Open the bags in a ventilated area, and remove all grease and dirt easily with a quick scrub of dish soap and water. Once the gunk is gone, thoroughly rinse the burners with water to get rid of ammonia residue. Let dry completely before using.

Tip I have read about ammonia and cleaning greasy burners. My bathroom doesn't have a window and that's where the litter box is placed.

Water is the best solvent. (Called the universal solvent by chemists*). (Doesn't present any dangers of fumes, doesn't damage enameled paint, works very well for almost all stuck-on stuff). However, it needs time to do its work. For a stovetop, lay down sopping washcloths over the entire surface and leave for 6 hours - 12 might be even better. . 90% of the gunk will wipe off at that point. Buy a razor scraper. Whatever doesn't come up after the sopping washcloth treatment could be easily scraped off. After that, you can use one of your kitchen spray cleaners for whatever remains. I'm ashamed to admit that I didn't learn this until I was in my 20s when a visitor remarked about the dishes I had stacked in the sink. "Why are dirty dishes stacked up in your sink?" "I haven't had time to get to them". "I understand that, but you have them stacked dry - if you run a little bit of water over each dish when you stack them, they will clean so much easier when you get around to it". Such a basic hint - has saved me THOUSANDS of hours of scrubbing in the years since, not just in the kitchen but in many other areas of the house.

*"Water is called the universal solvent because more substances dissolve in water than in any other chemical. This has to do with the polarity of each water molecule. The hydrogen side of each water (H2O) molecule carries a slight positive electric charge, while the oxygen side carries a slight negative electric charge. This helps water dissociate ionic compounds into their positive and negative ions. The positive part of an ionic compound is attracted to the oxygen side of water while the negative portion of the compound is attracted to the hydrogen side of the water."

Regarding burner plates - I used to spend hours trying to get these clean - soaking, scrubbing, running them through the dishwasher. Then I discovered that they are sold in packs of 4 (usually two large and two small) for like $5. I still clean mine, but when I get to the point of diminishing returns (more time working to get them looking nice than they are worth), I just chuck them and install a brand new pack. Voila, the stove looks brand new!

Keep in mind that no matter how filthy you think your house is, the house cleaner will have seen much, much worse. Guaranteed.

R203, have tried soaking. With he condition of my stovetop, it would take a few years of soaking to do anything.

But who can you hire to deal with the clutter?

Hire yourself, ffs.

OP

1 As others have posted, please talk to your doctor about your deep depression. Antidepressants can turn seemingly hopeless feelings around rather quickly.

2 Find a therapist who can help you create a daily schedule to start your "new" life and troubleshoot issues with you.

3 Don't expect to get the house cleaning job to get done in one fell swoop, especially if money is an issue. Set up a regular schedule to have a small crew of a few people help you get rid of junk and others do the basic housekeeping.

4 Not sure what state your home is in but hoarding can get you evicted and if you're a homeowner, your homeowner's insurance could be cancelled if they catch wind of how bad things may be. Just want you to be aware of that because I know someone that this happened to and she had to get junk removed and PROVE to the homeowner's insurance company that her home wasn't a hoard any longer.

Wishing you all the best. One step at a time!