Star-studded 'Steel Magnolias' unsold TV pilot 1990

I saw this years ago. I though it was halfway decent. Would have brought Cindy Williams back into the spotlight, that's for sure. Which is too bad, IMO. Plus, Elaine Stritch is the perfect TV Ouiser Boudreaux.

You can’t recast a classic.

I remember watching it when CBS aired it. It contributed to my childhood inability to distinguish between Sally Field and Cindy Williams. I'm surprised they didn't give Truvy to one of Dolly's sisters like they did with the 9 to 5 sitcom.

Cindy Williams was so bad in this.

Wow, just 5 minutes of that was painful enough

Stritch is channeling a barking sea lion in this.

I love how everybody’s name gets mentioned within the first two sentences spoken to them. So natural.

R7 That often happens in pilots, especially one where the characters are recasts from a famous movie. Remember the pilot is an introduction.

Sally Field's replacement is like a pathetic mom from the suburbs who's given up on life.

It’s so clunky.

R4 Was she good in anything?

I don't think I've seen her in anything besides this and L&S.

The towheaded tyke who smiled in the opening while asking whether Mommy was in the ground certainly got this off to a stinkeroo start. Not surprising it wasn't picked up.

"Cindy Williams was so bad in this."

To be fair, Sally Fiekd wasn't so great, either.

At least Sally Field didn't look suicidal.

Ah yes, the annual rite of spring where some queen discovers this pilot and posts it.

Honestly it was not terrible, no more or less than that dreadful, overrated movie. But how it would become a weekly series from this is beyond me.

I loved the season 2 cliffhanger when Turvy, Ouisa, Clairee, and LaTanya were trapped in the burning salon by the KKK.

Cindy Williams was competent in American Graffiti and The Conversation.

I have a hard time imagining bat-shit crazy Sally Kirkland managing to keep it together long enough to shoot 20+ episodes of a network series.

The 1992 two-part crossover with In the Heat of the Night was great.

Cindy never got very far in Hollywood because she didn't voh-de-oh-do.

R21 Well, she did voh-de-oh...

I forgot, who died in the movie?

I’m confused, was there a full season?

Was there a role for “and Barrie Youngfellow” in it?

"Travels With My Aunt," with Cindy Williams, the divine Maggie Smith (and her then husband), gay Alec McCowen, and directed by gay George Cukor, is on TCM tomorrow. Maggie got a Best Actress Oscar nod, and the costumes won the award.

Were they planning to show Shelby in flashbacks?

Millennial here and the only thing I remember Cindy in was Bingo.

[quote]"Travels With My Aunt," with Cindy Williams, the divine Maggie Smith (and her then husband), gay Alec McCowen, and directed by gay George Cukor, is on TCM tomorrow.

Maggie Smith was never married to Alec McCowen. She was married twice, to actor Robert Stephens, from 1967 until they divorced in 1975, and to playwright Beverley Cross, from 1975 until his death in 1998.

Cindy and Sally went to high school together. Cindy said she was so inspired by seeing Sally do The Miracle Worker in high school that she wanted to be an actress.

R30 but Sally never got fat.

where was the hunky gorgeous blonde gay marshall played by james wlcek?!?!...

I remember when it first aired. It was on CBS on a Friday Night in the summer of 1990, back to back with another pilot that didn't make it. It was interesting that they didn't even try to shoehorn it into a fall schedule given how big a hit the movie (and Julia Roberts) were.

The question is how did Sally Kirkland go from being an Academy award nominated actress who stood a good chance of winning it to doing an ensemble network sitcom in just two short years?

R26 never said that Alec McCowen was married to Maggie Smith, R29. Reading comprehension.

R33 well the Shelby character was dead, and like someone said above it’s really problematic to try to make this into a long running series — what in heck do you do? Does anyone really care how “life goes on” for the rest of these characters ? The fact that they made a pilot at all shows how badly they wanted to ride on the popularity — but I really don’t think there was any way to make it work.

R33 It was the only failed pilot shown that night. But CBS did air several failed pilots on Fridays that summer under the title Busted Pilot

R35 They seemed really determined to turn big films into tv pilots before rightly determining that they wouldn't work as weekly series. Driving Miss Daisy was another film they tried it with and even with Joan Plowright, Robert Guillaume, Saul Rubinek, Theresa Merritt, and Hillary B. Smith, they couldn't make it work.

A Steel Magnolias series made better sense than A League of their own.

Talk about painfully bad.

I've never seen Driving Miss Daisy, but I'm gonna watch the cliffnotes version now. Thanks R37

There was also a short-lived Working Girl series with Sandra Bullock.

This pilot has to be the worst thing I have ever seen. No wonder it went unsold. It's a piece of garbage.

[quote]I have a hard time imagining bat-shit crazy Sally Kirkland managing to keep it together long enough to shoot 20+ episodes of a network series.

Listen here you (probably) little homosexual man, I played Helen Lawson in the late night remake of Valley of the Dolls for 65 episodes.

And you have to admire my Southern accent as Truvy. Spouting those memorable quotes better than Dolly.

I wonder, if the show had made it to the fall schedule, would they have followed the time honored tradition of getting some bit player from the movie to make guest appearances until it's a hit, then kick 'em to the curb as soon as possible?

r22, Once.

Ann Wedgeworth as Aunt Fern R43

[quote]The question is how did Sally Kirkland go from being an Academy award nominated actress who stood a good chance of winning it to doing an ensemble network sitcom in just two short years.

Because she's batshit-crazy, as someone has already mentioned.

r30, check your sources. They're six years apart and Sally was raised in Oklahoma and Cindy went in Van Nuys. But maybe it was a combined junior-senior high school with an extensive busing program.

Jennifer Tilly auditioned for the role of Annelle in the film and lost out to Daryl Hannah. She says she was offered the role in the pilot, but did not want to be known as “the TV Annelle.”

R46 Can you imagine if someone had had the balls to cast her and Brenda Dickson in the same show? I'm sure it would have sucked, but the backstage drama would have been legendary.

R48 And today she just wishes someone remembered her as the TV Annelle, the irony.

R47 You are wrong. Cindy Williams is nine months younger than Sally Field and they did both attend the same Van Nuys high school.

if this is an "unsold" pilot, how could it have commercial breaks, and the video looks like it was recorded directly from tv.

Sometimes networks aired their failed pilots over the summer months. This one aired 08/17/1990 on CBS.

R53 A day that will live in infamy!

Cindy Williams in OP's link looks like none other than DL Fave Legend Mrs. Patsy Ramsey, Formerly of Boulder, Colorado.

Stritch was probably swigging bourbon between takes screaming "If only I hadn't fucked up that Golden Girls audition!"

Polly Bergen wasn't bad in this.

The best episode was in the 4th season when Ruby Dee cast a voodoo spell on Ouiser.

R47 apparently though the ambiguous reference in R30 referred to Sally Kirkland, not Sally Field (though with Miracle Worker, I don't know how).

I remember reading about about Williams watching Sally in a play and being very impressed. Don’t recall them being classmates.

The only reason this wasn't picked up was because my tits aren't gigantic!

Wow. Two Cindy Williams-themed threads on DL tonight.

R62 Is she dead? Is it a dead to me thread?

I'm makin' my dreams come true, R62!

Miss Tilly's doin' jest fine thank you very much, r50.

Cindy Williams was inspired to become an actress by Sally Kirkland?

FIELD!!!

Which part did Sally Kirkland play in the Miracle Worker? Helen or Annie?

The water spout.

Cindy and Sally went to Birmingham High in Van Nuys and were in the same class.

It isn't that bad. But it needed a snazzy, toe-tapping theme song.

I'd just like to say that for the record, Sally Kirkland *is* an inspiration to me.

^^Are you sure it's not Sally Kellerman?

Gelsey Kirkland is my inspiration.

It has that awful, bland “instrumental” kind of theme/score that was really popular on shows in the late 80s/early 90s. Hooperman had a theme like that (though it was actually a pretty good show).

[quote] Stritch is channeling a barking sea lion in this.

Is there anything in which she isn't?

Too bad this didn’t run for years...think of the countless DL threads we would have had gossiping about the feuding and cuntiness between Kirkland and Stritch.

But really- anyone would have turned it off in the first 60 seconds when they discovered that Dylan McDermott had been recast with a fug.

Kirkland’s is my inspiration.

S02E15, the one where Annelle is abducted by a deaf drug dealer played by Meshack Taylor, was harrowing.

S03 E4 Simply Ghastly.

Clairee Belcher's old college roommate, comes to Chikkapen for an extended visit. Ouiser accidently runs over her in the parking lot of the Piggly Wiggly after shitting herself and must convince the town and her group of friends it wasn't intentional out of jealousy.

Helen Lawson guest stars as Gloria Upson.

S18 E24: White Saviors

Season finale finds the girls visiting the Whistle Stop Cafe to solve the mystery of Miss Daisy's decapitation, and to clear suspicion that the murderer is their favorite author, Skeeter Phelan. Guest star Sandra Bullock reprises her role as Leigh Anne Tuohy.

This show jumped the shark when M'Lynn started having conversations with Shelby's ghost in S5. Either that or when Delta Burke and Linda Lavin left in Season 11.

The crossover episode with Grey's Anatomy made no sense. Fourteen seasons in and and we only then--and only the one time--hear that Ouizer is a world-renowned heart surgeon? I checked out after that.

The Lavin Years were the best. Just Linda, Delta, Polly, and Elaine.

Or whichever seasons had Stritch playing both Ouiser and her twin cousin Sniser.

No, the jump the shark episode was when they had the cartoon Scooby Doo help the ladies solve the Mystery of the Abandoned Theme Park in S06 E7. Filming at the flooded Six Flags near New Orleans added authenticity, but the poor merging of animation with live action was distracting. Stritch kept staring at the floor, like Scooby was a real dog.

The 6 episodes in Season 13 where Julie Newmar played Catwoman was the jump the shark moment.

R81 I'm actually surprised they didn't make a Fried Green Tomatoes pilot, since they did Steel Magnolias and Driving Miss Daisy.

[quote]I'm actually surprised they didn't make a Fried Green Tomatoes pilot

Too lesbionic.

R89 Yeah, but they had pretty much covered it up in the film.

I could see a Fried Green Tomatoes show. I'm getting an I'll Fly Away meets Picket Fences vibe, crossing back and forth from the 1990s to Miss whatever-her-name's stories were back in the '30s. But who would be the early '90s TV equivalents of Jessica Tandy and Kathy Bates?

R91 They had already, in the above Driving Miss Daisy pilot tried to replace Tandy with Joan Plowright, so she could have again and I could have seen Delta Burke taking the Kathy Bates role.

They did do The Client with JoBeth Williams, who was just as good as Susan Sarandon was in the movie.

Polly Holliday had a supporting role in it.

It was a pretty good show, but nobody watched it.

R93 I did. I enjoyed it.

I loved the backdoor pilot when Ouiser ran for Congress and won.

The backdoor pilot with an all-male cast wasn't that good. Hal Linden seemed to be phoning it in. Still, Adrian Zmed gave his all.

The episode that was part of CBS's big crossover event with Elizabeth Taylor is a classic.

[quote]I'm actually surprised they didn't make a Fried Green Tomatoes pilot.

Marla Gibbs WAS Sipsey.

The episode that was part of CBS's big crossover event with Elizabeth Taylor is a classic.

Yes, but having Taylor's Bentley breaking down in both Chikkapen and then next in front of Sugarbaker's Design Firm during her cross country road trip was a little hard to swallow.

The Vicki Lewis seasons were the best.

I loved when Lambchop came to visit (during that otherwise dreadful season where every episide had a "very special guest star") and Ouizer tried to eat her. But I didn't buy that almost eating a sock puppet would be enough to turn her vegan.

So Cindy Williams did this pilot at the same time

she starred with Frank Zappa's kids in another half hour show?

Talk about desperate.

Cindy's "Normal Life" aired 13 episodes from 3-21-90 to 7-18-90

so this pilot debuted a month after CBS cancelled her sit com.

People must be really bored self-isolating if they're thinking up fake episodes 4 seasons into a pilot that never made it to series.

[quote] Cindy and Sally went to Birmingham High in Van Nuys and were in the same class.

Not quite. Sally was class of ‘64, Cindy was ‘65.

Geez you bitches...

The Steel Magnolias pilot wasn't THAT bad. Certainly no worse then some of the crap on the air at the time. Sally Kirkland isn't great in it, but she might have relaxed into it. Who knows. The movie isn't terrible either.

The real shame is that Driving Miss Daisy pilot is actually pretty good. It floats by on the charms of a great cast (including a tiny turn by one of my favorite character actresses, Anne Haney, as one of the mah jongg players.) I don't know how long it could have kept moving the story forward, but it would have been nice as a limited series or something. It is a shame Plowright couldn't keep her accent up from scene to scene, though.

Speaking of backdoor pilots, I had "Married With Children" on yesterday and there was a backdoor pilot with two actors who seemed awfully familiar ... turned out to be Keri Russell and Eric Dane.

I love Anne Haney too R107. She was in so much stuff!

[quote]People must be really bored self-isolating if they're thinking up fake episodes 4 seasons into a pilot that never made it to series.

It's called using one's imagination. Those who can't, bitch.

S09E10: Chinquapin Takes On

Tracey Ullman guest stars as six of her characters from Tracey Takes On.

R110 = Thomas Schlamme

Call me sentimental, but the S02 November sweeps episode when Penny Marshall guest starred as M'Lynn's old college roommate trying to cheer her up made me weep.

However, didn't care for the B-storyline of Stritch fending off the advances of town newcomer "Quigley" (David Lander.)

you guys are HILARIOUS with the episodes! great stuff!...

Seasons 5 thru 7 had the best cast:

Elaine Stritch as Ouiser

Linda Lavin as Doralee

Jackee as Shaniqua

Delta Burke as Vicki

Rea Perlman as Connie

Miriam Margolyes as Swella

The 1993 episode where the gays opened a rival salon and Ouiser called them "tacky faggots" and "commie fudgepackers"was a low point.

The season where Faye Dunaway bought the salon and secretly turned it into a brothel was the most entertaining.

"People must be really bored self-isolating if they're thinking up fake episodes 4 seasons into a pilot that never made it to series."

You've apparently never heard of a Helen Lawson thread or the classic, "Who Gives a Flying Fuck" movie series threads. And you are poorer for it.

The episode where Truvy allows gypsies to camp out beside the salon was a classic. The two sweaty gypsy studs spit-roasting Ouiser at the wedding was hilarious. And guest star Chita Rivera was great as the Gypsy Queen.

The two-part classic episode that caused to Sally Kirkland to be fired late in the seventh season, was great. In an effort to revive flagging ratings, the producers convinced Dolly to guest star as Truvy's sister, Suzy. Everyone backstage loved her, and they got more press than they had for years. But poor ole Sally couldn't handle it, especially when they had Suzy sleep with Truvy's husband. During the fight scene she really started fighting Dolly, and when she ripped Dolly's wig off, all bets were off. Dolly gave her a good ole fashioned Appalachian beat down. They replaced Sally Kirkland with Sally Struthers, but just ignored the weight difference, and it just didn't work.

Remember the episode where everyone went to Dollywood? Some terrorist put a bomb on a rollercoaster, and Ouieser had to climb under the cars and diffuse the bomb. I think Stritch was nominated for an Emmy for that episode.

[quote]The two-part classic episode that caused to Sally Kirkland to be fired late in the seventh season, was great. In an effort to revive flagging ratings, the producers convinced Dolly to guest star as Truvy's sister, Suzy. Everyone backstage loved her, and they got more press than they had for years. But poor ole Sally couldn't handle it, especially when they had Suzy sleep with Truvy's husband. During the fight scene she really started fighting Dolly, and when she ripped Dolly's wig off, all bets were off. Dolly gave her a good ole fashioned Appalachian beat down. They replaced Sally Kirkland with Sally Struthers, but just ignored the weight difference, and it just didn't work.

Oh, honey. Just. No.

Someone mentioned Ghost Shelby earlier. I thought Heather Graham did a good job filling Julia Roberts' shoes. The scene where she first appears to prevent M'Lynn from slitting her wrists was powerful! But then after she helped her mom beat her manic depression, she just became "one of the gang" again, but just as a ghost, which was weird. But then Ghost Shelby entered the Miss Chikapin Pageant. I was done with the show after that. Does anyone know if she won the pageant?

R123, Ghost Shelby lost the pageant to Iris Myandowski, the hand-walking queer from "Beaches: The Series starring Kathy Griffin as C. C. Bloom". It caused all sorts of legal issues as Iris Rainer Dart, authoress of "Beaches", hadn't authorized the use of Iris Myandowski in a cross-over. The resulting legal fracas not only tied up the legal system for years but is said to have delayed the legalization of gay marriage by its virtual monopoly on courthouses across the land.

Being married and a mother when she died, Shelby couldn't enter a Miss Chikapin pageant.

Besides, it's the Miss Merry Christmas Contest.

They never explained why Truvy could cut and style Ghost Shelby's hair. That always bothered me.

I thought the first Ghost Shelby was Ashley Judd.

Who played M'Lynn's two hot blond teenage sons, Tommy and Jonathan?

"Who played M'Lynn's two hot blond teenage sons, Tommy and Jonathan?"

Ellen DeGeneres. It was called by one critic, "A modern-day mixture of The Patyy Duke Show's trick photography and She's One of the Guys." The critic did add that wasn't a particularly good combo.

Did you know it was Olympia Dukakis in the Easter Bunny costume in the S09E17 Easter stampede scene?

Fun fact: DL fav Brendad Ickson was to join the cast as Jackson’s controversial second wife, Alexyjo, but that was the summer the network finally cancelled it.

I give them credit for writing off the move to LA season as a dream. Fun to see Victoria Principal as Ouiser’s recovery room nurse.

I never thought I'd dislike a Stritch performance, but her accent in this did me in.

I won’t argue the series was divisive, but surely we can all agree it was Bob Mackie’s ouvre.

R132 Stritch's accent got so bad that by Season 3 they hired Park Overall to dub over all her lines.

S04E8 with the Chikkapen Community Little Theater production of Follies.

Overall was so method i met her at a meeting.

Over 130 replies in and no one has mentioned the classic Halloween episode where Truvy’s son spiked M’lynn’s sweet tea with LSD and she was haunted by her donated kidney. And that the kidney was, for some inexplicable reason, played by Estelle Getty.

I prefer the Halloween episode where Aunt Fern magicked one of her armadillo cakes alive and sent it to kill Ouiser.

I usually hate retcons, but when it was revealed that Aunt Fern was a witch and was responsible for Shelby's death, I was SHOOK!

I don’t know why they didn’t recast Tommy after The actor’s gay porn past was revealed. I was really enjoying the oil in the stump story.

I liked Grace Jones' guest appearance as the dethroned Queen of Tobongo who comes to Chikkapinn to hide from Tobongon Communist assassins. Her 15 minute pitchfork duel with Ouiser was thrilling.

The 🎄 specials were my fav.

I loved how they used the Partridge family bus the year they wrote in the Vienna Boys Choir,

The Christmas episode where all of Chickapen Parish decided to celebrate Kwanza instead of Christmas strained credulity.

The episode in which Ouiser's pet alligator ate the mayor of Chiqqipen Parish was hilarious. I loved how she walked the thing around like a dog.

Well, just like many of my threads, what started out with potential has ended up in the shitter.

Helen Lawson lost the role of Ouiser when her colostomy bag exploded in the middle of the first table read.

Helen is just upset because of the episode where she guest-starred as Ouiser's older and even bitchier sister who moved in with her and died. The entire town was so happy they threw a party, and Aunt Fern baked a bleeding corpse cake that looked just like her.

Well, once Aunt Fern got her island she had the counter space. If you ice her into a pantsuit.

The three episode arc that saw the ladies all gan 200 pounds each was inspiring. The fat suits looked realistic.

Phasing out the hair salon in Season 10 was risky. At first the idea of a strip club called 'Steel Magnolias' featuring only women of a certain age seemed ludicrous, but the show pulled it off. Linda Lavin's striptease to Rose's Turn was peak television.

Also the first female full frontal on network tv! R150

They didn't "phase it out," R150, they had the salon torn down so an emergency extension of the Chinguepin Turnpike could be built. Then in the next episode, the ladies are suddenly working in a strip club. It was all a big slap in the face to the fans.

My depression went away reading these posts. Hilarious stuff - Scooby Doo indeed!

[quote]Helen is just upset because of the episode where she guest-starred as Ouiser's older and even bitchier sister who moved in with her and died. The entire town was so happy they threw a party, and Aunt Fern baked a bleeding corpse cake that looked just like her.

Oh. Ouch. Zing! Guess I've been put in my place.

You write like one of those sad, little homosexual men Faye and Sally keep telling me about. I bet you still live with your mother. You have matching caftans and a joint subscription to Doll World Magazine.

Stars?

Where?

Everywhere!

My favorite episode is “M’Lynn’s Dilema” when Cindy thought she was going through Menopause, but discovered she was pregnant. Her decision to abort was excruciating and the ghost of Shelby visited her to say “If only I made different choices”.

I loved when Clairee was stricken with Sudden Onset Tourettes and kept yelling "SLUT!" during Truvy's funeral.

My favourite part was how she’d then wiggle out of it with a scandalised “Ouiser! Stop that!”

What about when M’Lynn reconnected with a college roommate Carolyn Woodhouse avpublished author of books like Equal Rights Now! Carol being a liberal had many awkward moments at one point Quiser threaten to shoot her like a yard dog. Carol tried to make amends my telling everyone she got tickets with very good seats and backstage passes and they would have dinner with a very good friend of hers the performer she wanted to surprise them and tell who the night of the concert.

Everyone got gussed up and Carol made the announcement of who is when she said Barbra Streisand everyone. stood in silence except Quiser who ran off to get her gun. M’Lynn tried to be polite and get Carol to leave who did before telling everyone to go to hell. She also said ‘ in all my life. I never. ‘ and she was never seen again. I mean that literally. Never seen again.

I especially like the episode where they all worked in the candy factory on the assembly line. Who knew Kirkland could fit so many chocolates up her nose?

[quote]Quiser

Bless the Baby Jesus, you must be retarded.

Or blind as a bat, dear. Not that I care about your opinion.

I enjoyed Shirley MacLaine's 1998 guest spot as Oueezar, Queen of the Planet Oueesniak. After a huge space battle between the Federation of Peaceful Planets and the Axis of Galactic Progress, Queen Oueezer escapes her exploding starcruiser in an escape pod. After the pod is damaged, she goes off course, drifting through space, and is eventually forced to land in Chiccapen Parish, to repair her ship and refuel. By episode's end, she's convinced Clairee to join her in the war against the Axis, and Clairee leaves with her. It was a strange way to write Polly Bergen out of the show, but all the special effects were fantastic.

Quiser was the best of the Pride episodes. When everybody but Ouiser knew about her sister. RIP Patricia Neal.

I can't believe no one has mentioned the first serious gay kiss on network TV. Happened in the second season. It was quite risky at the time, given the number of advertisers who had pulled out of the thirtsomething episode that had two men in bed together.

Ouiser's grandson Steve and his boytoy were discretely out but got drunk at the Christmas festival and ended up kissing under the mistletoe. It wasn't played for laughs. It was tastefully done. And it was groundbreaking!!

And then when Annelle went into her religious rant about homosexuality after witnessing the kiss, Ouiser put her in the place. And then Truvy even told Annelle her bigoted ideas were not welcomed in her beauty shop.

Steve's blowjob booth at the Chiccapin Spring Carnival in S06E20 was groundbreaking as well. We'd never seen a guy deepthroat so many cocks on network television before.

Remember the fun animated episode where Ouiser crossed paths with a Weezing from Pallet Town?

I think the series final could've been better than Annelle founding the Chinquapin Chapter of Heavens Gate. Then, kidnapping the ladies and forcing them to ascend out at the Bid-a-wee Motel off Route 33.

I remember the last episode differently. In an attempt to get a renewal and Williams her first Emmy nomination for the series They had a very special episode there is another death this time it’s M’Lynn’s husband who kicks the bucket having a heart attack in a cheap hotel room with a 5 dollar whore The girls are all gathered at his graveside but this time a bitter M’Lynn really hits Ouiser who falls into a coma. Quiser’s gay grandson is now the town’s sheriff and thinks this is no laughing matter presses charges and M’Lynn must serve a year in the local jail. We never find out how she survives in jail or if Ouiser comes out of a coma. Williams gets no Emmy nomination.

The episode where Delta Burke's character Blissy is nominated for the Supreme Court was fantastic. And Clarence Thomas even had a cameo!

[quote]The episode where Delta Burke's character Blissy is nominated for the Supreme Court was fantastic. And Clarence Thomas even had a cameo!

The best part was when she called him Anthony.

I loved the insider joke of having a Warren Beatty look alike play Ouiser's brother. His yearly visits to the show were always fun since he was such a prankster. My favorite was the time he switched the bottles of hair dye at Truvy's and all the women ended up with purple hair!

S4E10. Paul Reubens guest starred as a mild mannered florist who secretly stuffs life-size dolls with hair he steals from the dumpster behind Truvy's salon.

^ S4E10... that was written around the time Twin Peaks was a big thing, wasn't it?

Does everyone remember when they spent a week heavily promoting the fact that now that Dallas had ended Larry Hagman was joining Steel Magnolias, in the season finale. Then when the episode aired it was just a cameo, and he was shot in the last few minutes. When they came back the next season it turned out Ouiser and Drum both accidentally shot him while shooting at each other, because of that damn tree full of birds. Then they both had to do a few months in the county jail. It was a smart way to write Elaine Stritch out for a few episodes, so she could get her face lift.

Robert Englund's guest spot as Eddie Kroger, a scarred dream-demon with forks for fingers, was a classic. His epic dreamland duel with Ouiser and Swella was great. Especially when Ouiser stole Eddie's top hat and performed a tap dance routine to save Swella.

How about the very special episode where Truvy did a drag makeover on Mark, Rick & Steve (Tom Villard, Steve Antin & Stephen Geoffreys) to fight the local homophobic city council and their banning the collected works of Pat Parker?

After the triumphant shade throwing and exposure of the councilman's own "dirty" past (guest star Joel Grey) the four of them broke down in tears with Truvy saying, "Laughter through queers is my favorite emotion."

Ouiser's grandson Steve certainly had a lot of boyfriends during the show's run. And the thing about it was, the casting of those boyfriends was like foreshadowing the actors who went on play gays on other shows.

Certainly we all remember Doug Savant played Steve's boyfriend for a few episodes just before he was cast on Melrose Place. Ditto Eric McCormack playing Steve's boyfriend Adam during season 7 before moving onto Will & Grace.

But does anyone remember that Gale Harold, Michael Urie, Jonathan Groff, Eric Stonestreet and Jesse Tyler Fergeson all played Steve's one-night stands over the years. And of course, no one could forget Sean Hayes flaming it up in that 1996 episode denouncing the Defense of Marriage Act. His flaming was so off the charts, it might have scared some members of Congress into voting for DOMA.

I only watched the first full scene - in the beauty shop. Elaine Stritch really knew how to make the most of a line, non-solid accent aside. It was very obvious that Polly Bergen was the only true Southerner. She was good.

The episode where Truvy discovered several hundred spiders in Janice Van Meter's beehive was my favorite.

You know what episode I hated? The one where the fucking Landers sisters showed up as Truvi's sisters, Gruvi and Muvi, a successful touring cabaret act.

It was like, "Leave those talentless bimbos on The Love Boat, where they belong. This is Steel Magnolias, bitch!"

Damn, there are some wild imaginations up in her.

[quote]Damn, there are some wild imaginations up in her.

That's what Chinquapin only gynecologist, Dr. Bufford Pussy (pronounced Pew-say) told Truvy when she took Annelle to him after the young girl was having "female issues." Turns out, it was Satan.

So they took her down to the Presbyterian Church for an exorcism. And punch.

The organic Tommy coming out story. Falling for Marshall and losing his virginity to him in behind The Piggly Wiggly.

It's a well known fact that they were going to hire Debbie Allen to spice up the third season. But Elaine Stritch said, "I am not singing Bosom Fucking Buddies with Polly Fucking Bergin." So Debbie signed up to direct "The Sinbad Show."

I hated the episode when Hillary Clinton guest starred as herself. All the Monica Lewinsky jokes were tasteless.

Public reception was so bad that the writer of the episode committed suicide by shooting himself twice in the back of the head a week after it aired.

^ That takes some effort.

TV's Janice Van Meter, Mary Pat Gleason has died. :(

How about when Helen Lawson guest starred As Ouisers twin sister Quiser in a special episode to raise AIDS awareness. Lawson and Stritch (The producers hoped for some Crawford/Davis sparks )were mortal enemies since Elaine was told she wasn’t pretty enough for the role in Fucking Fuck. Elaine has been quoted as saying she didn’t mind losing a role because of her looks but she did mind losing it to a dog. The ugliness of this story is well documented in Helen’s third autobiography all I will say is this I where I think the untrue rumors about Betty White and Bea Arthur started and I will only say two words and leave it at that. Explosive Diarrhea.

I meant Who Gives A Flying Fuck.

You can just tell when people try too hard and it doesn't work.

Thank you for your unasked for criticism r192. Now would you kindly drop dead?

Well, it was a bit uphill...

Karma's a bitch. Truvy used to chastise me for doing my own hair. But I was all set for 2020. Meanwhile she's packin' on the calories, calories.

You're unnatural.

[quote]Thank you for your unasked for criticism [R192]. Now would you kindly drop dead?

Now, R190, why couldn't your first post be so concise?

I’ll have to look up the word concise. I’ll get back to you.

It comes before cunt, R198,

Girls! Girls! Your fight is about as pointless as the fight between Shelby's Ghost and the bottle of Orange juice that kept screaming, "Drink me, you bitch!" True, it was just one of Cindy Williams' many troubling "bad dream" episodes but, really!

Now calm down and reminisce!

Good point, R200. Fun fact: those dream episodes were all penned by David Lynch under the pseudonym Laurette Palme D’Or, using material he thought too dull, linear and comprehensible for Twin Peaks.

I hated the episode where Penny Marshall guest starred. She just played herself, as a director shooting a movie in town. She and Cindy might have had one short scene together. It was a major letdown.

Bless the Baby Jesus wreath on Truvy's front door. I know some of y'all think you are creatively talented with the written word. Perhaps your mama told you so growing up.

She lied. She probably told you were cute as well.

You think you're Dorothy Parker when you aren't even Dorothy Zbornak. The storyline doesn't have to include everything but the bloodhounds snapping at Ouiser's rear. Reaching for a laugh tires everyone out. I don't think I should have to name numbers. Y'all know who you are.

Just remove your fingers from the keyboard, sit back and enjoy and leave the humor to the published professionals.

M'Lynn gets into a verbal altercation with two customers over the price of a stuffed black toy cat at the thrift store she manages. Guest starring Penny Marshall as Laverne Feeney. Ouiser lectures Laverne when she orders a Pepsi and milk at the local diner where David Landers has a cameo as the soda jerk.

--

Annelle is shocked when her first husband shows back up in Chinquapin ready to win her heart back. Tom Hanks guest stars as Bunky Dupuy with Dodie Goodman as his Maybelle Dupuy. Truvy dyes her hair red to spice up her marriage but instead attracts the interest of the UPS man.

--

Clairee cannot deny the feelings she has for KPPD's new station manager, Fannie Flagg in a three-episode arc that ends with the season 5 finale of Belcher, stood up at the altar when Flagg heads out of town with the girl's female swim coach from the local high school, ruining their chances at the upcoming Parrish meet. As Ouiser gave the honeymoon gift, she thought it only right she accompany Clairee on the Mexican cruise.

ALL of Chiggapig Parish would trade their eye teeth to take a whack at R203.

If you want to understand depth of R 203’s talents hit block to read what she sells as wit. Talk about the product of a misleading mama.

The very special episode when the orange juice factory closed down because Shelby had died.

I know they were controversial, but I really enjoyed the dream episodes. M'Lynn certainly had an imagination when she dreamed different scenarios for Shelby's life. Show managed to sometime be poignant, but often went for the laughs with it. Especially when they parodied the movies.

I got a kick out of the one where M'Lynn dreamed Shelby became a prostitute and worked the streets of Hollywood and a rich man in Beverly Hills fell in love with her.

Or the one where Shelby was Tinkerbell to an adult Peter Pan. Or the one where she tried to break up her best male friend's wedding because she realized she was in love with him.

But the the real kicker was the two episode dream sequence where M'Lynn dreamed Shelby was a crusader for justice who fought big business that was poisoning the water, followed by M'Lynn dreaming she was a union organizer at a factory and holding up a sign proclaiming "Union"

R208 I can't remember who was the tv knock-off Shelby? Was it Debra Messing?

Carrot Top.

R208 You forgot the one where M'Lynn dreamt Shelby was Dr. Jekyll's maid.

R209 Ashley Judd, Heather Graham, Tara Reid, and Lauren Graham all played Shelby, either in dreams or as a ghost.

Deb has been signed for the reboot. She’ll play Aunt Fern and body double Janice van Meter.

r212 I though Deb was playing M'Lynn in the reboot. If she's Aunt Fern, then who did they cast as M'Lynn.

[quote]Talk about the product of a misleading mama.

Oh honey, my mama was a drunk. A good woman, but a drunk. She didn't have the self confidence to build me up.

My four, well-selling, books on Amazon did. Working on my fifth.

You? (Looking directly at R206.)

[quote]Chiggapig

Aw, bless your heart.

Twas a joke, jackass.

S8E13: Everyone in Chinkapink Parish gets sick of the snotty self-published author, so Ouiser, Swella, Didi, and Ghost Shelby sneak into his house one night and set him on fire.

S8E14: Ouiser, Swella, Didi and Ghost Shelby are arrested and brought in front of Judge Floozer (guest star Paul Bartel). He finds them not guilty for reasons of common sense.

[quote]Twas a joke, jackass.

No it wasn't, cunt.

The only, and I mean ONLY, cunt in this thread has been you.

My favorite of the dream sequences was when M'Lynn would dream that she was a teenager living in California and hanging out with the surfer crowd.

But I thought the show really jumped the shark the time when M'Lynn dreamed about wearing a special hat which would allow her to fly in windy weather. That was just too much. Over the top!

Show seemed to think it was an over the top moment too. As I recall, they did one more dream sequence, one where she was a woman named Sybil who had multiple personalities -- one of whom believed she was a surfing California teenager, one who believed she was a nun who could fly and finally one who rode around in a sports car with Burt Reynolds!

The "Chiggapen Dentist" serial killer storyline was a bit dark for me. Woman found strangled, their eye-teeth pulled out. I think 67 victims was a bit unrealistic. Plus, it was an insult to Jackee, Delta Burke, Lee Grant, Latoya Jackson, Ann Miller, and Vicki Lewis to write their beloved characters out of the show as victims of the Dentist. Even worse, the writers just abandoned the storyline at the start of the next season, never giving viewers any answers as to who the Dentist actually was. I'm steamed just writing about it!

only ringer is polly Bergen, she smoked so much her voice was icky.....

yay elaine stritch

iz almost time fo da easta bunneh

[quote]This pilot has to be the worst thing I have ever seen. No wonder it went unsold. It's a piece of garbage.

Well, obviously you missed the NBC's "Schindler's List" pilot adapted as a sit com starring Steven Seagal, Helen Hunt, and Joe Pesci

It wasn't all bad...

I really liked this first commercial for FDS feminine deodorant spray

A crossover episode has Angela Lansbury playing Jessica Fletcher, in town for a book signing. There's a string of murders, and each of the women are targeted but not killed. At the end of the episode where the murder goes unsolved, Jessica reveals to the audience that she has one piece of crucial evidence. She breaks into the opening lyrics of "Dear World" as the audience discovered that she was the killer and has gotten away with it.

My favorite episode was the two-part cross over with "Mama's Family." Seeing Ouiser and Mama go at it was classic. And Bubba's homoerotic scenes with M'Lynn's boys was daring for the time.

Some of these joke scenarios don’t land, but some of you bitches nailed it. My favorite is the Scooby Doo episode with Stritch looking at the ground because she thought Scooby was a real dog. I’m still chuckling about that.

R38 A LEAGUE OF THEIR OWN as a multicamera sitcom with a laugh track was ill-conceived. I guess they figured that since the movie was classified as a 'comedy' that was the best route to go, especially since dramedies weren't really a thing in the early '90s. However, I think it could've worked as a single-camera dramatic series, with flourishes of comedy, just like the movie. Incidentally, the AAGPBL lasted for 11 years (1943-1954) and the film only focused on the first season. Thus, they had 10 more seasons to mine stories from the actual league.

In short, a series of ALOTO had potential, but not as a traditional sitcom.

Years ago, there was a drawing on the internet of Elaine all in blue looking like a cartoon character, changing the name to Lilo and Stritch. I wish I had saved it as it seems to have disappeared.

That theme song sounds like it came from an infomercial for hair care products.

Imagine being Oscar-nominated for Best Actress and your big follow up is a failed tv pilot for Steel Magnolias. That’s what it’s like to be Sally Kirkland.

She would’ve been better off just doing a soft core Cinemax or Showtime movie.

It feels like a Frankenstein monster of the leftover parts of [italic]Golden Girls[/italic] and [italic]Designing Women[/italic].

[quote]Stritch is channeling a barking sea lion in this.

She was probably triggered by all those Polly Bergen vodka advertisements.

Poor Polly. This and one of John Waters’ most lackluster films in the same year.

The episode with the flood and all the vicious crocodiles was my favorite. I loved when Elaine Stritch wrestled one of them to save the salon.

The funniest thing about this was the idea of Elaine Stritch playing a Southerner.

Was the TV version of [italic]Bagdad Cafe[/italic] any worse?

[quote] The 1993 episode where the gays opened a rival salon and Ouiser called them "tacky faggots" and "commie fudgepackers"was a low point.

But I was surprised Annelle managed to be less intolerant. You’d think she would have been spitting pea soup.

Remember the advertiser boycott for that 2-parter in season 7 when M'Lynn thought she was having a late-in-life pregnancy and contemplated having an abortion? She said she was supposed to be having grandkids graduating from high school when she was 65, not her own kids.

Show lost several million when advertisers pulled out in droves, saying that was not appropriate for an 8 p.m. show.

There's a local stock production of "Follies" announced, and Clairee is cast as Carlotta. But Ouiser is disturbed thar her and a visiting former rival, Edna Lorenzo, played by Betty Garrett, will share the role of Hattie. Ouiser gets drunk on her night off, and comes on stage when Edna starts singing "Broadway Baby". Hilarity ensues as the two women begin tearing things off of each other's costumes. Annelle turns to M'Lynn and asks, "Didn't I see this on an episode of I Love Lucy?"

I’ve been looking everywhere for the DVD box set of the complete series, but it seems to be out of print. Should I try to find a bootleg?

[quote]R26 “Travels With My Aunt," with Cindy Williams, the divine Maggie Smith (and her then husband), gay Alec McCowen, and directed by gay George Cukor.

[quote]I’ve been looking everywhere for the DVD box set of the complete series, but it seems to be out of print. Should I try to find a bootleg?

I guess the music rights are still holding up the release of the DVD box set. Supposedly Sally Kirkland wants big bucks for her rendition of "I Will Always Love You." Likewise Elaine Stritch is playing hard ball about the rights to her version of "I'm Still Here."

On the bright side, Cindy Williams let them have the rights to her performance of "Do You Know the Way to San Jose" for just pennies. Of course, all of us who saw that episode know why.

I never can find any of the episodes on YouTube. I guess the studio keeps a sharp eye on YouTube and instantly pulls down any bootleg episodes that get posted.