I'm the convenient reminder that "you should not take Pallotex if you're allergic to Pallotex."
Let's be a prescription drug TV commercial !
|by Anonymous||reply 209||06/11/2020|
I’m the never ending list of side effects.
(And OP, that always irritates me. How the hell do I know if I’m allergic to it if I’ve never taken it?!)
|by Anonymous||reply 1||05/24/2020|
I'm the 60's hit song they've stolen and changed the lyrics to......
One Two Three......it's easy as One Two Three......
I"m the composers who don't care that a classic is being ruined as long as I get my royalties.....
|by Anonymous||reply 2||05/24/2020|
..up to and including death......….
|by Anonymous||reply 3||05/24/2020|
I’m the anthropomorphized bladder.
|by Anonymous||reply 4||05/24/2020|
I'm the immediate call to my doctor (as I near death) that tells me to hang up and dial 911
|by Anonymous||reply 5||05/24/2020|
I'm the HIV exception to EVERYTHING
|by Anonymous||reply 6||05/24/2020|
I’m the list of other diseases that "have happened" to people while taking this drug. It’s just a coincidence!
|by Anonymous||reply 7||05/24/2020|
I'm the potential hazards related to taking the drug which include suicidal ideation, explosive diarrhea and some kind of syndrome that means suicidal death from explosive diarrhea.
I am read with the velocity of an auctioneer at a cattle auction but in a low murmured tone while something that sounds like an instrumental from an Enya album swells on the soundtrack to further disguise that using this drug is akin to committing suicide by explosive diarrhea.
|by Anonymous||reply 8||05/24/2020|
I'm the good life, which is really what these commercials are advertising
|by Anonymous||reply 9||05/24/2020|
I'm the aging actress, shilling the product, i.e., a cure for a women-related problem.
|by Anonymous||reply 10||05/24/2020|
I'm the easy-to-find website, e.g., "purplepill.com".
|by Anonymous||reply 11||05/24/2020|
I'm the soft, filtered glow cast over the smiling, active and self-assured people taking this drug.
|by Anonymous||reply 12||05/24/2020|
Since the founding of this republic, great fortunes have been made in patent medicines.
|by Anonymous||reply 13||05/24/2020|
I’m the proud dad at my daughter’s wedding. Those new cancer drugs gave me 4 extra months of life so I could see this day. Each month cost Medicare 85,000 dollars. I’ll be dead in 12 days.
|by Anonymous||reply 14||05/24/2020|
R14 I love you
|by Anonymous||reply 15||05/24/2020|
I'm the 40-year old actor in a prescription drug commercial aimed at senior citizens.
I'm the real senior citizen watching the commercial on TV. In my opinion, I look like the 40-year-old actor. I will ask my doctor about that pill.
|by Anonymous||reply 16||05/24/2020|
"May cause death".
|by Anonymous||reply 17||05/24/2020|
I'm a very handsome actor, about ten pounds overweight. I'm in the commercial for a new diabeetus medication.
|by Anonymous||reply 18||05/24/2020|
I’m the actor who’s dancing to “heartburn, nausea. indigestion” with a happy smile on my face.
This commercial will be my big break! I can feel it in my gut. Or maybe I just need some Pepto Bismol.
|by Anonymous||reply 19||05/24/2020|
I’m your penis, on the way to the ER because I’ve been erect for 5 hours even after you’ve cum, and I’m turning blue, like the little pill you took earlier
|by Anonymous||reply 20||05/24/2020|
I'm a black couple. He has to be bald and she has to have loose, floppy curls because afros are offputting to white viewers.
|by Anonymous||reply 21||05/24/2020|
I'm the actor who has opioid constipation that is never heard from again.
|by Anonymous||reply 22||05/24/2020|
I’m the millions of taxpayer dollars that were used to pay for the university research that went into the creation of this drug. It’s odd that all the billions in profits go to the drug company that scooped up the patent.
|by Anonymous||reply 23||05/24/2020|
I'm the prevention of most chronic disease.
The drug companies don't want you to know about me, and if you do, not to take me seriously.
|by Anonymous||reply 24||05/24/2020|
"People who drink water, or any water-based beverage of any sort, must never use this product, as it will be instantly fatal."
|by Anonymous||reply 25||05/24/2020|
I'm all the commercials for foods that make people candidates for Big Pharma products (meat, dairy and processed foods), showing in between the drug commercials.
|by Anonymous||reply 26||05/24/2020|
I'm the smooth jazz concert the woman attends at the end of the commercial to show she is no longer depressed.
|by Anonymous||reply 27||05/24/2020|
I'm the spending more time laughing with my grandchildren, because of course that is all any senior citizen could ever want.
|by Anonymous||reply 28||05/24/2020|
I'm the lawnmower that properly medicated people push/ride in odd patterns.
|by Anonymous||reply 29||05/24/2020|
I'm the sound alike names of drugs like Seresto and Xarelto.
Get them confused and you will die of heart arrhythmia but be tick free.
Same thing with Movantik and Advantix. Why?
|by Anonymous||reply 30||05/24/2020|
I'm the brightly colored 1./4 zip pullover all fathers must wear.
|by Anonymous||reply 31||05/24/2020|
I’m the stereotypical queen in the commercial for the latest PREP or HIV drug. I have a massive mound of dreads curled on top of my head, I’m seen doing some stylish dancing in a well-lit dance studio and, sometimes I may even be a purpled-lipstick-wearing tranny. Because people with HIV are NEVER farmers or lady truck drivers or middle aged white men with happy families or even retirees. Nope. Only sissy black queens, trannies or the sporadic, attractive white guy with a handsome boyfriend need these types of drugs!
|by Anonymous||reply 32||05/24/2020|
I’m all the blue and white hues
|by Anonymous||reply 33||05/24/2020|
I’m restless leg syndrome. I used to big, until the my patent expired.
|by Anonymous||reply 34||05/24/2020|
I'm all the people under 60 who tuned in to watch the breaking news story on CNN and have no idea what ailment this drug is supposed to treat
|by Anonymous||reply 35||05/24/2020|
|by Anonymous||reply 36||05/24/2020|
I'm the hot DILF in the Otezla commercial.
I may have psoriasis, but you won't notice when you see my huge, fat cock.
|by Anonymous||reply 37||05/24/2020|
[quote] I'm the good life, which is really what these commercials are advertising
Which is fascinating, because the outdoor dance in your photo looks exactly like the one in PICNIC that William Holden and Kim Novak ultimately want to FLEE from!
|by Anonymous||reply 38||05/24/2020|
I’m the dog being walked or playing fetch on the beach after my asshole owner started taking her medicine. I’m 13 years old and maybe have a year left if I’m lucky. Maybe this bitch could’ve seen a doctor a little sooner??
|by Anonymous||reply 39||05/24/2020|
I'm the personal injury lawyer, monitoring these ads for the drugs that I’ll later be filing class action lawsuits on.
|by Anonymous||reply 40||05/24/2020|
OMG R37, I’m in love with that guy!!
|by Anonymous||reply 41||05/24/2020|
My money might be frozen but I have a hot piece of ass!
|by Anonymous||reply 42||05/24/2020|
me too R41
|by Anonymous||reply 43||05/24/2020|
I'm the conversation that happens when affluent people in major metropolitan areas watch these commercials and wonder why they would need to advertise to consumers given that it's a prescription drug and wouldn't you just ask you [INSERT SPECIALIST HERE] what they recommend?
I'm the puzzled reply "Can you imagine telling Dr. Schwartzbaumstein 'I saw some drug advertised on TV and it sounds better than the one you're prescribing. I want that one."
I'm the peals of laughter that follow as we have no idea that many less affluent Americans don't have a highly credentialed specialist they can call upon and thus need to rely on TV commercials.
|by Anonymous||reply 44||05/24/2020|
The thing is, a patient can ask their doctor of X is right for them - possibly worth the conversation.
But most of the time, the insurance company isn't super gung ho about covering a newer medication. Unless your doctor can give you 90 days of samples, or your plan will approve if a physician insists, then most are shit out of luck and have to take the cheapest thing.
|by Anonymous||reply 45||05/24/2020|
I’m Wilford and I just wanted to thank the above poster for this:
[quote]new diabeetus medication.
I’m remembered and pleased about that. You just can’t see the smile under my mustache.
|by Anonymous||reply 46||05/24/2020|
I’m the ordinary people enacting their mundane lives and waiting on the sweet release of death while the voiceover lists the many contraindications and risks associated with this drug that probably won’t do much of anything anyway.
|by Anonymous||reply 47||05/24/2020|
I’m the disgusting dry flaky mound of skin being left behind on sheets and sofas, picnic blankets and office chairs. I’m more noticed than my human host likes to think I am. Nobody at the office will eat lunch in the break room anymore after I’ve been seen all over the counter tops and the tables. I’m found all the fuck over the place like fleshy dust bunnies. You’d think my person would carry around a dust-vac but she’s so stupid she thinks wearing a sweater and pushing me off onto the floor does the trick. But I’m still here, a little bacterial surprise hiding on everything.
|by Anonymous||reply 48||05/24/2020|
I’m the pregnant woman who should not be taking XXX.
|by Anonymous||reply 49||05/24/2020|
I'm tai chi
The multiculti Olds are always happily practicing me in the park now that they're properly medicated
|by Anonymous||reply 50||05/24/2020|
I'm a labrador retriever. My hair is clean and can flow in the wind if I'm outside. I can associate with young and old; men and women; people of all races, religions, and creeds. I can appear on a commercial for just about any new prescription drug on the market. Call me.
|by Anonymous||reply 51||05/24/2020|
We're CNN, MSNBC and FOXNews
We know these are pretty much the only advertisers who will pay big bucks to reach our increasingly more geriatric audiences, especially during the day.
We'd be broke without them.
|by Anonymous||reply 52||05/24/2020|
I'm the suburban wife and mom looking forlornly at the reminders of my once-active lifestyle that are now stashed away in the garage, no longer used because fibromyalgia has made me so tender to the touch. If only there were a prescription drug that could help me enjoy life once again.
|by Anonymous||reply 53||05/24/2020|
I’m Jill. My heart failure is so bad that only two red blood cells get pumped per minute. But now I’m traipsing through Europe thanks to Entresto.
|by Anonymous||reply 54||05/24/2020|
I'm the Deplorable who really and truly believes that a vaccine means getting implanted with a chip from Bill Gates, but I'll shovel down any shit my doctor tells me to take unquestioningly, because I am dummer than a pile of shit with rocks mixed in.
|by Anonymous||reply 55||05/24/2020|
Let me "Oh, dear" myself!
|by Anonymous||reply 56||05/24/2020|
We're the list of tame, pet doctors in your area who will gladly prescribe this new drug to who the fuck ever asks. Don't worry, the drug companies will put us in touch with you.
We have a lot of debt from med school and also some of us prescribe opiates a little more often than is good for us.
|by Anonymous||reply 57||05/24/2020|
I'm the pens, notepads, and coffee cups emblazoned with the name of the new drug. I.e., I am pharmaceutical swag. I'm ready for sales reps to hand out as soon as the new drug is available.
|by Anonymous||reply 58||05/24/2020|
I’m the offer to help pay for your prescriptions if you can’t afford them.
I’m an outright lie.
|by Anonymous||reply 59||05/24/2020|
[quote] I’m the offer to help pay for your prescriptions if you can’t afford them. I’m an outright lie.
That shit never, ever helps. They always find some loophole as to why it isn't for YOU.
|by Anonymous||reply 60||05/24/2020|
R55 = Thread killer
|by Anonymous||reply 61||05/24/2020|
R55 = Thread killer.
|by Anonymous||reply 62||05/24/2020|
Let the church say ‘amen.,’ r60!
|by Anonymous||reply 63||05/24/2020|
I'm suburbia. I feature prominently in these ads.
|by Anonymous||reply 64||05/24/2020|
Im LaTuna. Im for depressed, post menopausal woman with belly fat
|by Anonymous||reply 65||05/24/2020|
Im Karen and I take LaTuna
|by Anonymous||reply 66||05/24/2020|
R61 R62 a bitch posting the same dumb comment twice will kill a thread too.
|by Anonymous||reply 67||05/24/2020|
I’m LaDeia. And there’s more to me than living with HIV.
|by Anonymous||reply 68||05/24/2020|
I'm slow motion.
|by Anonymous||reply 69||05/24/2020|
I'm 1997, when the FDA said this was okay.
|by Anonymous||reply 70||05/24/2020|
[quote] And there’s more to me than living with HIV.
Yeah, we see.
You’re not exactly svelte.
|by Anonymous||reply 71||05/24/2020|
We are the multicultural gays and trannies who are dancing with joy due to Truvada.
|by Anonymous||reply 72||05/24/2020|
I am the plain looking red head who is in every fucking commercial.
|by Anonymous||reply 73||05/24/2020|
I’m Paragard, and I’m the best fucking IUD musical EVUH.
|by Anonymous||reply 74||05/24/2020|
The perpetually medicated Trin Miller, r73.
|by Anonymous||reply 75||05/25/2020|
I'm Martin Sheen.
|by Anonymous||reply 76||05/25/2020|
[quote] I’m the pregnant woman who should not be taking XXX.
I'm the woman "who may become pregnant." I also should not be taking it.
|by Anonymous||reply 77||05/25/2020|
I'm Cyndi Lauper. See me!
|by Anonymous||reply 78||05/25/2020|
I'm a region where certain fungal infections are common. Don't take the drug if you've visited me.
|by Anonymous||reply 79||05/25/2020|
I’m the little girl of the bipolar depression chick. Why won’t you pay attention to me?
|by Anonymous||reply 80||05/25/2020|
I'm the only discharge.
|by Anonymous||reply 81||05/25/2020|
I am the class action lawsuit waiting to be launched to against you for misleading the patients in the last 5~10 years.
|by Anonymous||reply 82||05/25/2020|
I'm the foreigner, on a first visit to the US, who turns on the TV and ends up in hysterics after watching one of these adverts. First of all, they're about 2 minutes long (with the entire ad break itself being longer than the actual segments of show it is shown between), then the first minute of the advert being full of happy people bouncing around with joy at their new life, only to be followed by a second minute listing all the horrific side effects they may suffer afterwards.
This literally was I and my friend on our first trip to New York. We'd never seen anything like it! Television is just advertisments with the occasional bit of drama or comedy shown in between.
|by Anonymous||reply 83||05/25/2020|
I'm the wind-up doll in the Pristiq commercials.
Of course, I am female.
|by Anonymous||reply 84||05/25/2020|
I'm the queen in the Toujeo commercial.
Even 90 year old ladies know I'm gay, gay, gay.
|by Anonymous||reply 85||05/25/2020|
I'm the side effects that are worse than what you had to begin with.
|by Anonymous||reply 86||05/25/2020|
I'm the glamorous, exciting life promised by Truvada, a life with lots lots of friends, a great career, a beautifully furnished home, a devoted spouse and no money worries. See LaDeia and the Dancing Queens in the posts above.
The sad truth is, I'm used mostly by $25 a pop trannie hookers and shop bottoms. My costs are usually covered by Medicare and Medicaid. Private insurance covers my cost but most of my users don't have private insurance.
|by Anonymous||reply 87||05/25/2020|
I'm the lack of drugs targeted at Lesbians.
|by Anonymous||reply 88||05/25/2020|
I am "red restless nostril" syndrome and I am treated effectively by Brezeevex. My commercial uses lots stock footage b/c Breezevex was rushed out. The FDA ink is barely dry.
Although unknown 5 years ago, I emerged as a side effect of long-term use of Necessada, a lifestyle drug with a 40% market penetration in the 50+ age group. Breezevex has its own long-term use side effects that will emerge in another 5 years.
|by Anonymous||reply 89||05/25/2020|
I'm the risk of tardive dyskinesia.
|by Anonymous||reply 90||05/25/2020|
I am the advertising guy who named Aciphex.....I am no longer employed.
|by Anonymous||reply 91||05/25/2020|
I'm the fact that DLers seem to be very very familiar with these commercials.
|by Anonymous||reply 92||05/25/2020|
That's her, r75. And she can't make a dog grooming appointment over the internet either. I wonder what drug she takes for that?
|by Anonymous||reply 93||05/25/2020|
[quote] This literally was I and my friend on our first trip to New York.
|by Anonymous||reply 94||05/25/2020|
I'm the rash on your taint...er..perineum.
|by Anonymous||reply 95||05/25/2020|
I'm the roller coaster in the bipolar bitch drug ads.
I've made people barf just by seeing me on TV.
|by Anonymous||reply 96||05/25/2020|
I'm the third-rate actress pretending to be a lawyer in a late-night commercial for a seedy law firm urging you to join a class-action lawsuit against what was once considered a wonder drug but that has since been linked to cancer.
|by Anonymous||reply 97||05/25/2020|
Drug X can help your ailment....may cause heart attack, stroke, blindness, suicidal thoughts or actions, psychosis, dementia and certain types of cancer...
Take drug X for a brand new you!!🎶😘
|by Anonymous||reply 98||05/25/2020|
I'm the 🚺 being shunned by my friends because apparently I can't stop shitting. Humira ® may help.
|by Anonymous||reply 99||05/25/2020|
No actor will push me so now I have to be represented by a fucking turkey!
I may help people stop smoking, but I also give them a psychotic break in the process! Yay!
|by Anonymous||reply 100||05/25/2020|
[quote]Chantix! No actor will push me so now I have to be represented by a fucking turkey!
I beg your pardon?
|by Anonymous||reply 101||05/25/2020|
I'm the highly irritating ad format in which the drug's catchphrase is stated by several actors, each saying only a part, before being pieced together at the end of the ad.
Middle-aged black woman with expensive haircut, picks up child from crib, looks into camera: "I..."
Elderly white man raking leaves, pauses, looks up: "I won't..."
Smartly dressed business women, ascending a flight of stairs: "I won't be..."
White-haired granny on tennis court pats perspiration from forehead: "I won't be defined by my arthritis."
|by Anonymous||reply 102||05/25/2020|
I'm the "candid" shots of the photo shoot taken of the actors sitting on a stool in between shots, laughing, totally recording them unknown!
|by Anonymous||reply 103||05/25/2020|
Im the 697 side effects every drug seems to have
|by Anonymous||reply 104||05/25/2020|
I am the very sad mom who get a little happier as the commercial progresses until I am very happy at the end.
|by Anonymous||reply 105||05/25/2020|
[quote]I'm the 697 side effects every drug seems to have
Including death, which doesn't seem to really qualify as a "side effect."
|by Anonymous||reply 106||05/25/2020|
|by Anonymous||reply 107||05/25/2020|
I'm Ray Liotta. I used to be an A-list celebrity. Now, I'm so creepy that I've been replaced by a turkey in the commercials for Chantix.
|by Anonymous||reply 108||05/25/2020|
I'm the €14.67 the exact same drug costs in Europe.
|by Anonymous||reply 109||05/25/2020|
I must say that I do enjoy the animation of the Slow Turkeys. They are all so affluent.
|by Anonymous||reply 110||05/25/2020|
r99, I do miss the Viberzi gal who stops shitting.
|by Anonymous||reply 111||05/25/2020|
[quote] I must say that I do enjoy the animation of the Slow Turkeys.
It’s Special Need Turkeys! Or differently-abled, whatever you prefer.
|by Anonymous||reply 112||05/25/2020|
I'm the absolutely perfectly arranged bag of groceries with a baguette and carrot tops sticking out that is carried in and placed on the counter of an immaculate kitchen.
|by Anonymous||reply 113||05/25/2020|
R93, the dog grooming incident was the impetus for the breakdown which led to her hiding behind a smiley-faced paper plate for two years.
She was cured by Rexulti.
|by Anonymous||reply 114||05/25/2020|
I'm half the posters on this thread, addicted to antidepressants.
|by Anonymous||reply 115||05/25/2020|
R114, maybe the Rexulti is what caused her advanced cancer?
|by Anonymous||reply 116||05/25/2020|
[quote] maybe the Rexulti is what caused her advanced cancer?
Or maybe it was all of those fully loaded baked potatoes and all of that bread pudding.
|by Anonymous||reply 117||05/25/2020|
I don't remember the name of the drug, I believe it was for diabetes, but one of the side effects was death.
|by Anonymous||reply 118||05/25/2020|
I'm moderate-to-severe plaque psoriasis
|by Anonymous||reply 119||05/25/2020|
There’s never been a better time to rethink your Hep C.
|by Anonymous||reply 120||05/25/2020|
I'm the new expensive version of several other older drugs that work just as well. This new name and marketing will allow us to charge 5 times the cost of the older versions. The new marketing blitz won't let you know I'm the same old shit rebranded...in fact it will imply I'm a new, better, safer version of the old crap.
|by Anonymous||reply 121||05/25/2020|
I'm Lyrica, and I'm here to help you with your tender-to-the-touch days.
|by Anonymous||reply 122||05/25/2020|
I'm Humira, and I can seemingly treat anything -- plaque psoriasis, arthritis, ulcerative colitis, Crohn's disease. I'm the all-purpose prescription drug.
|by Anonymous||reply 123||05/25/2020|
I miss the Lunesta Luna moth.
|by Anonymous||reply 124||05/25/2020|
Oh! I'm the ad for Ozempic.
Oh! I air all the time.
Oh! I'm annoying as fuck.
|by Anonymous||reply 125||05/25/2020|
I’m Alphonso’s “CHARITY WALK” t-shirt.
Because the giant “CHARITY WALK” banner over the finish line didn’t make it clear enough.
|by Anonymous||reply 126||05/25/2020|
I am Humira for r119 I promise to clear up your psoriasis and give you a better quality of life, just a much shorter one
|by Anonymous||reply 127||05/25/2020|
These drugs are all for pixies.
Real men just walk into a joint and order a hard drink ta get drunk fast.
|by Anonymous||reply 128||05/25/2020|
I have never understood why prescriptions are advertised on TV, it isn't like you can run to the drug store and just buy some, you have to convince a doctor to write you a prescription. Seems the money would be better spend advertising to doctors instead of patients. Companies spend all the money creating demand and it all depends on whether the doctor will prescribe it.
|by Anonymous||reply 129||05/25/2020|
Because no doctor has ever given a whiny hypochondriac something they want to shut them up.
|by Anonymous||reply 130||05/25/2020|
I'm that "Nothing is Everything" song. This crap has been spinning around in my brain for a week
|by Anonymous||reply 131||05/25/2020|
I'm New Zealand, the only other country in the world where these commercials are allowed on television.
|by Anonymous||reply 132||05/25/2020|
The US and New Zealand are the only countries where direct-to-consumer advertising of the type seen here is fully legal. In NZ, at least, fewer than once in six people are for it but the process of replacing the old bill (which allows the industry to regulate its own advertising) keeps running into a brick wall. $hocking, I know.
|by Anonymous||reply 133||05/25/2020|
I’m the sidewalk in the impeccably groomed country lane that the handsome elderly couple is walking down in slow motion. I don’t exist in real life.
|by Anonymous||reply 134||05/25/2020|
I'm a handful of random scrabble tiles. I'm used by the ad agency to name the new wonder drugs.
|by Anonymous||reply 135||05/25/2020|
I am the pastel colored clothes they like to wear in those types of commercials, yes we do look soothing to you, do we?
|by Anonymous||reply 136||05/25/2020|
I'm the basket of garden tools that the lady in the sun hat carries in the Elliquis commercial.
|by Anonymous||reply 137||05/25/2020|
R32 FOR THE WIN! Bravo.
|by Anonymous||reply 138||05/25/2020|
I'm pastel everything. Bright colours wound.
|by Anonymous||reply 139||05/25/2020|
I’m the embarrassing facts no one ever thought they would have to read about Adult Diapers.
Background information you should know:
A pullup is a diaper for adults that pulls on and off like regular underwear.
A brief is a brief with tabs on the side like large baby disposable diapers.
A booster pad is an additional pad put in an incontinence product that makes it much more absorbent.
The average adult bladder holds sixteen fluid ounces when full.
Most leakage happens in diapers for adults at the leg openings if it happens.
Tear-away sides on a pull-up means that it can be ripped right off.
It is recommend that you take your waist measurement at the belly button. Then check the sizing chart for the product to see what size to wear. All products in this article are unisex, used by both men and women.
|by Anonymous||reply 140||05/25/2020|
I’m the pile of unopened cameras in the corner that home gurl bought in the middle of her manic online Bipolar shopping spree.
|by Anonymous||reply 141||05/25/2020|
I’m the random closeup shot of a house pet.
|by Anonymous||reply 142||05/25/2020|
I’m the multi-generational, multi-ethnic (except Latinos, of course!) couples spontaneously dancing to the live band at the dockside, outdoor restaurant.
The string lights over head provide a soft glow as our protagonist laughs in slow motion.
|by Anonymous||reply 143||05/25/2020|
I'm a thin, wincing white lady cradling a mug.
|by Anonymous||reply 144||05/25/2020|
I'm the bathtub in the middle of a forest.
|by Anonymous||reply 145||05/25/2020|
I am the standard corporate/Starbucks/Apple type animation of happy people and animals doing things while a list of death inducing side effects is mentioned quickly and with a lower tone.
|by Anonymous||reply 146||05/25/2020|
I'm the lyrics of the Skyrizi psoriasis medication jingle (posted at R131). Once my skin clears up, I'm going to buy some skimpy clothes and gratuitously flash my tits and ass at everyone.
|by Anonymous||reply 147||05/25/2020|
I'm the sad fact that the Chantix turkey has more of a social life than I do.
|by Anonymous||reply 148||05/25/2020|
I'm the guitarists in the Osempic commercial who appear to be slapping their fingers randomly on the guitar neck
|by Anonymous||reply 149||05/25/2020|
I'm the 20-years-younger female partner in the erectile dysfunction medication commercials.
|by Anonymous||reply 150||05/25/2020|
We are the gloves covering the hands bearing the fingers that scratched the itch caused by the Jardiance-induced yeast infection in smug Audrey’s hole.
|by Anonymous||reply 151||05/25/2020|
I’m long bike rides, a charity walk and playing fetch with the dog. I never did these before my ailment but I will start once I get that medicine!
|by Anonymous||reply 152||05/25/2020|
I’m formerly respected actress Blythe Danner, leaving the theater when her generic acquaintance yells out to her “break a leg!”
Blythe blithely breaks the fourth wall and says “ohh I used to love to hear that! But not since I got brittle bone disease with a high risk for fracture!”
|by Anonymous||reply 153||05/25/2020|
I’m Cyndi Lauper’s psoriasis.i
|by Anonymous||reply 154||05/25/2020|
I am your symptoms that are not being relieved by another prescription drug, so you need to combine it with a new prescription with a name that includes an 'X' that sounds like a 'Z'.
|by Anonymous||reply 155||05/25/2020|
I am the long, impossible to pronounce chemical name. No one remembers me.
|by Anonymous||reply 156||05/25/2020|
I’m gliding through a dreamscape park with happy people and children playing and the name of a patent medicine repeated and a voice saying “ask your doctor if such-and-such is right for you” without any clue as to what conditions this medicine might be prescribed for.
|by Anonymous||reply 157||05/26/2020|
I never want to see you again.
|by Anonymous||reply 158||05/26/2020|
I'm the ads for opioid-induced constipation.
The actual opiates can't be advertised on TV.
|by Anonymous||reply 159||05/26/2020|
*I'm the ads for opioid-induced constipation treatment
|by Anonymous||reply 160||05/26/2020|
R122, can you help me on those days I jerk off too much?
Um, asking for a friend.
Yeah, that’s it.
|by Anonymous||reply 161||05/26/2020|
I'm gangrene of the genitals. I'm a very rare side effect of the diabetes medication Jardience.
|by Anonymous||reply 162||05/26/2020|
I'm the post menopausal woman who is told that this medicine will harm unborn babies.
|by Anonymous||reply 163||05/26/2020|
I’m the elderly couple in the erectile dysfunction ad
|by Anonymous||reply 164||05/26/2020|
I’m the real elderly couple who uses the drug
|by Anonymous||reply 165||05/26/2020|
I'm the two kids standing at the train station wondering if Daddy is going to be there or he had to take a big heaping dump and missed the train. Suddenly he appears. Now we can watch a baseball game without Daddy running to the can every five minutes.
|by Anonymous||reply 166||05/26/2020|
I am the guy in some skin rash commercial. I feel so good, me and some other rash free people are playing softball. I score the winning run. I then proceed to do a dumb victory dance while facing the losing team. Hours later my baseball bat beaten corpse is found lying in a field near the park. But my skin looks great!
|by Anonymous||reply 167||05/26/2020|
R166 I’m the cute little girl biracial with light brown skin and curly (not TOO curly) hair wondering the same thing. Then my daddy shows up and takes me to a pink cupcake shop and I’m happy again!
I’m all the rage in pharmaceutical ads. They all want me.
|by Anonymous||reply 168||05/26/2020|
I'm the cloud of brightly coloured petals that an attractive, middle-aged lady has blown towards the camera to signal that Irritable Bowel Syndrome has been vanquished.
|by Anonymous||reply 169||05/26/2020|
I am Ardrax®, I cure strong to excessive odorous genital secretions linked to the use of Brezeevex®. The latter is the only effective medication for restless red nostril syndrome associated with the long-term Necessada®, a drug that now boasts a 63% penetration in the over 50+ age group.
[bold]Necessada treats the "vague existential unease associated with age and death."[/bold] Necessada's promotional materials tell physicians to prescribe it at first the mention of the word death or any of a lengthy list synonyms. Searching for these words immediately displays Necessada "patient information" on your screen, discussion of this unease or any synonyms switches your TV content to a Necessada commercial.
Necessada® Because the best is yet to be
|by Anonymous||reply 170||05/26/2020|
We're the focus groups, linguists, and foreign language experts. We help to choose a fanciful name for this brand-new prescription pill. We like names that end in the letters "A" or "X." The foreign language experts will make sure the new made-up name has no negative meanings in foreign target markets.
|by Anonymous||reply 171||05/27/2020|
I'm the person who can't distinguish between the names of prescription drugs and the names of African-American women:
|by Anonymous||reply 172||05/27/2020|
I am Irritated Bowel Syndrome...a Karen disease
|by Anonymous||reply 173||05/27/2020|
This has been a much enjoyed "Let's be" thread. I laughed a lot.
|by Anonymous||reply 174||05/27/2020|
I’m the vaguely pill shaped being waiting for Zoloft to kick in.
|by Anonymous||reply 175||05/27/2020|
I was surprised this topic hadn't been tackled by the witty bitches on DL before.
|by Anonymous||reply 176||05/28/2020|
I'm the sleep aid that is "non-habit forming"
|by Anonymous||reply 177||05/28/2020|
I'm one of the sisters who is wondering if my sister who shits herself will show up to our sisters-only trip to Chicago.
|by Anonymous||reply 178||05/29/2020|
I’m the exhaustive list of side effects and warnings that legally have to be stated. I’m played at 150% of normal cadence so I can be squeezed into a 30 or 60 second ad.
“WARNING: Flatulex is not intended for weight loss. Side effects include: fulminant diarrhea, unproductive cough, tremor, blurred vision, spontaneous combustion, dizziness, more fulminant diarrhea, and jazz hands. Tell your doctor if hands swell larger than dinner plates. May cause glaucoma, rickets, dyspepsia, dyslexia, amnesia, tardive diskinesia, heart murmur, or hair growth on palms of dinner plate sized hands. In rare cases, some people taking Flatulex report necrosis of extremities, temporary discoloration of genitalia, believing oneself is a bat, and halitosis. Do not use Flatulex if you are allergic to tryptodexebenzoblottohottomoroholavalene, Abilene, valvoline, aquateen, or pumpernickel. May contain dog blood.”
|by Anonymous||reply 179||05/29/2020|
I'm the blinding white teeth of everyone in every commercial after they take every prescription for every condition.
|by Anonymous||reply 180||05/29/2020|
I'm the slim, somewhat attractive and well dressed late 30s woman who is representative in every way of someone who takes Lyrica for fibromyalgia.
I'm also here to remind you that Lyrica is NOT an anti depressant and therefore has nothing to do with mental illness!
|by Anonymous||reply 181||05/30/2020|
I'm the financial stability that ostensibly comes from taking these drugs.
|by Anonymous||reply 182||05/30/2020|
I am Profeel®, a pharmaceutical crème used to treat the [bold]blue face rash[/bold] that is an unfortunate side effect of Ardrax®, which treats the strong to excessive odorous genital secretions linked to the use of Brezeevex®. The latter is the only effective medication for restless red nostril syndrome associated with the long-term Necessada®, a drug that now boasts a 75% penetration in the over 50+ age group.
Necessada® (The gift that keeps on giving to Big Pharma). Don't say that out loud.
|by Anonymous||reply 183||05/30/2020|
I remember some 15 years ago, the maker of Lyrica was pushing it as off label treatment for depression, without any good research backing it up. They got in trouble with the FDA and now have to make that clear in their advertising.
But of course, fibromyalgia is partly a psychosomatic disorder, and many with it have underlying psychiatric issues.
|by Anonymous||reply 184||05/30/2020|
Fibromyalgia has no diagnostic tests and its “symptoms” are all subjective and self-reported, so anyone can claim to have it and demand drugs like Lyrica. And doctors give it out freely to get these patients out of their offices. It’s a goldmine for the makers of Lyrica.
|by Anonymous||reply 185||05/30/2020|
[quote]But of course, fibromyalgia is partly a psychosomatic disorder, and many with it have underlying psychiatric issues.
We fibro warriors strongly disagree with this statement.
|by Anonymous||reply 186||05/30/2020|
r186 I recently saw the most 2020 post ever: a woman (or trans femme? or something) I know through work was complaining her breast binder was causing her fibro to act up.
|by Anonymous||reply 187||05/30/2020|
I'm the open field used in various commercials.
Depending on the prescription, I might be used for an outdoor yoga class, OR I might be used for an outdoor smooth jazz concert, OR I might be used so that a married couple can take outdoor baths in matching bathtubs as the sun sets.
|by Anonymous||reply 188||05/30/2020|
I'm the outrageous co-pay that Good RX will never help.
|by Anonymous||reply 189||05/30/2020|
Our drug Poyzen will kill you — but there’s a remote chance that it was add a handful of extra days to your already agonizing, miserable existence.
|by Anonymous||reply 190||05/30/2020|
I'm that tired feeling.
|by Anonymous||reply 191||05/30/2020|
I'm the two bathtubs at the beach in the Cialis commercial because nothing says "My wife still won't have sex with me" like a couple sitting in separate bathtubs on the beach at a private resort.
|by Anonymous||reply 192||05/30/2020|
I'm the reoccurring burning and itching sensation from the yeast infection in the VAGASIL commercial
|by Anonymous||reply 193||05/30/2020|
We are the rejected names created by the modern day Don Draper who gets paid exorbitant sums to give the latest concoction the perfect name, one which conveys confidence, hope, and novelty. We include Genuflex (“now you too can have religious faith without doubts!”), Cacophonow (“if the voices in your head are going to speak, why not have them sing?”), Proflogo (“has bashful bladder got you down?”) , Chicanerol (“isn’t it time to let loose, to become the kid you never were?”), and Umbybrin (“it’s the 21st century: isn’t it time to say goodbye to hangovers...forever?”).
|by Anonymous||reply 194||05/31/2020|
I'm the meadow without insects, excessive heat, or humidity that hosts the picnic at the end of the commercial
|by Anonymous||reply 195||06/03/2020|
I can BE in that meadow, in heat and humidity, because my allergies are under control with Genflaxima!!
|by Anonymous||reply 196||06/03/2020|
R195 and R196, you may be the meadow, but I'm the redwood forest that senior citizens and depressed people with high cholesterol walk through in awe.
|by Anonymous||reply 197||06/08/2020|
I'm the sun that always shining.
|by Anonymous||reply 198||06/08/2020|
R195, I'm the ticks in the meadow that are kept at bay by Bravecto, available today for your dog or cat from your veterinarian.
I'll do fuck all to keep you from getting Lyme Disease, though.
|by Anonymous||reply 199||06/08/2020|
I'm one half of a white couple, each of us sitting in our own individual, vintage clawfoot tub in the middle of a field in the middle of nowhere. We click our wine glasses together and smile at each other because apparently, this is supposed to symbolize the good life.
|by Anonymous||reply 200||06/08/2020|
I'm an outdoor, ethnically diverse dinner party, where lights are strung on trees overhead and huge bowls of salad are displayed prominently.
|by Anonymous||reply 201||06/08/2020|
I'm a volunteer in the sandlot where all the cheerful ethnically diverse local parents are building a playground, wearing hardhats and showing each other how to hold hammers. Look! It's time to sit down to lunch with all of my cheerful ethnically diverse neighbors to eat salad and smile at each other.
|by Anonymous||reply 202||06/08/2020|
R91, I remember thr first time I heard that commercial I ran to my phone to see the if the rest of DL had heard about it yet!
|by Anonymous||reply 203||06/08/2020|
I am having bottomless mimosa Sunday brunch with Orilissa!
|by Anonymous||reply 204||06/10/2020|
I'm a paycheck.
|by Anonymous||reply 205||06/10/2020|
I'm the SNL parody of prescription drug commercials.
"May cause a condition known as sausage fingers"
|by Anonymous||reply 206||06/10/2020|
I'm the Truvada commercial, set to the tune of Annie's "Tomorrow", featuring hot guys singing one by one...
Guy #1: "I'm gonna get fucked... tomorrow..."
Guy #2: "Puer-to-ri-can in my ass, tomorrow... bare-back fun..."
Guy #3: "Just thinking about, tomorrow, cleaning out and douching for tomorrow, so there's none (sound of toilet flushing)"
(musical climax builds, scene cuts to all three guys on a beach... apparently, none of them having yet realized there are no tops present)
"Truvada, Truvada, I love ya, Truvada, you keep H-I-V a-way..."
|by Anonymous||reply 207||06/10/2020|
I’m the woman in the passenger seat of a car driving in slow motion. The top is down, so I wave my slow motion arms above my head in sheer exhilaration from ingesting Nomenstro.
|by Anonymous||reply 208||06/11/2020|
She’s obviously not gay.
|by Anonymous||reply 209||06/11/2020|