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People who refuse to answer the phone

You call them, knowing they’re at home, and they just let the phone ring! I find it very rude. What are they trying to prove? I don’t understand it.

by Anonymousreply 25506/11/2020

Oh hell no. I do not answer my phone. You need me? You text me. I'll decide if it's phone worthy.

by Anonymousreply 105/21/2020

I never answer my phone, unless it's my mother or my boss.

by Anonymousreply 205/21/2020

I abhor telephone calls. Text, instant message or email me.

by Anonymousreply 305/21/2020

Why have a phone if you don’t ever answer it? It’s just so rude not to! Someone obviously needs or wants to speak with you, and you’re just going to ignore them? Do you ignore someone knocking on your door, too?

by Anonymousreply 405/21/2020

You're calling someone on their landline? Are you posting from 2002?

by Anonymousreply 505/21/2020

OP obviously is a telemarketer.

by Anonymousreply 605/21/2020

Thank God for Caller ID!

by Anonymousreply 705/21/2020

How old are you all?

by Anonymousreply 805/21/2020

I haven't answered my phone "live" in years.

by Anonymousreply 905/21/2020

Only complete idiots answer the phone without knowing who is calling. And the fact that there are sill so many of them that do is why the rest of us have to be subjected to endless robocalls and telemarketers. If they weren't profitable, they would stop.

So STOP ANSWERING THE GODDAMN PHONE, morons!

by Anonymousreply 1005/21/2020

I have a landline, R5. I don’t believe in these cell phone gadgets everyone is carrying around these days. There’s nothing wrong with my Trimline.

by Anonymousreply 1105/21/2020

I'll answer when I feel like answering. The telephone is not a "Come! Now! Heel! Say hi!" training instrument, and it's not the boss of me.

by Anonymousreply 1205/21/2020

R8, I am 68 years old.

by Anonymousreply 1305/21/2020

I get it, OP (I understand what you're saying).

Now that texting is prevalent, people are comfortable with texting. Talk calls are now, somehow, overly personal and intrusive.

For work, my preference is email, then text, then talk calls.

Because I live far away from most of my family & old (longstanding) friends, I do value talk calls.

by Anonymousreply 1405/21/2020

Lately, a friend of mine keeps sending me video texts, expecting me to reply with one. Fuck. No.

by Anonymousreply 1505/21/2020

I dated a guy who 'screened' his calls. Some calls he'd take and get up and wander away, murmuring in dulcet tones.

Then I was on the other end of a screened call, and I know he always checks to see who's calling. I wasn't important enough to answer (probably had a dick up his ass at the time).

by Anonymousreply 1605/21/2020

Verbal calls require you to alter your voice tones to pretend your happy to speak to the caller.

Fuck that.

It’s 2020, and phone calls are presumptuous and rude. The only person that I’ll speak to on the phone is my 93 year old grandmother. And even she emails me.

by Anonymousreply 1705/21/2020

I own a phone, it doesn’t own me.

My landline is long gone. My cell phone is used primarily for texting. If I don’t recognize a phone number, I won’t answer. You have something to say? Text me. Even my technophobe relatives favor the convenience of texting over the intrusion of phone calls.

by Anonymousreply 1805/21/2020

I never answer my phone. In fact have the ringer turned down. You can text or email but not call. I see telephone calls the same as uninvited guests knocking at my front door.

by Anonymousreply 1905/21/2020

I hate talking on the phone. No reason not to text. OP is probably long winded or a young woman.

by Anonymousreply 2005/21/2020

OP is one thousand years old.

by Anonymousreply 2105/21/2020

Before the answering machine came around, you HAD to answer the phone. A relative may be calling you in an emergency. Usually, it was another housewife my mother talked to all the time. I was usually doing homework or watching tv (and there was no way to rewind what you missed.) They would ask question after question after question, I guess they figured they could pry information or gossip from a little kid.

I consider the ability to screen phone calls God-sent.

by Anonymousreply 2205/21/2020

The only reason I have a phone is so that I can call out in an emergency. I avoid people as much as possible and, if I have to deal with someone, I'd rather do it by e-mail.

by Anonymousreply 2305/21/2020

[quote] Do you ignore someone knocking on your door, too?

Of course I do, if I'm not expecting a visitor.

by Anonymousreply 2405/21/2020

The Ring Doorbell is the equivalent of call screening for visitors.

by Anonymousreply 2505/21/2020

[quote] Someone obviously needs or wants to speak with you,

The majority of them don't need to speak with me.

by Anonymousreply 2605/21/2020

Obviously they're having sex WITHOUT YOU and don't appreciate the interruption.

by Anonymousreply 2705/21/2020

I got so tired of getting spam calls in Chinese I don't answer anything now

by Anonymousreply 2805/21/2020

[quote]The majority of them don't need to speak with me.

Are you a manager? Then *I* need to speak with you. NOW.

by Anonymousreply 2905/21/2020

OP gets a quarter for every thread started.

by Anonymousreply 3005/21/2020

R24, That's why God invented peepholes.

by Anonymousreply 3105/21/2020

It actually cracks me up when people just call me out of the blue. I just look down at my phone, and keep on doing what I was doing.

by Anonymousreply 3205/21/2020

If someone i know calls me now -- especially family -- I automatically assume it's an emergency or something bad had happened.

by Anonymousreply 3305/21/2020

I live far away from friends and family so I like talking to them on the phone. Texting is very impersonal to me when it comes to people you love. I like hearing the sound of their voice. Makes me feel closer to them. But other things yes texting will suffice.

by Anonymousreply 3405/21/2020

OP wants to talk to you about your car's extended warranty!

by Anonymousreply 3505/21/2020

"I avoid people as much as possible and..."

Yet... here you are on Datalounge, trying to talk to people.

by Anonymousreply 3605/21/2020

The only two people I know who prefer calls to texting are functionally illiterate and haven’t read a book since they were both in high school 35 years ago. One of them is the most obnoxious drunk dialer on the planet and the other just likes to perform monologues about himself.

by Anonymousreply 3705/21/2020

Like a real life conversation, a telephone call with a friend or family member is complex, intimate, and -- dare I say -- real.

Texting -- short poorly written half sentences with "hahaha" or "lol" == is a symptom of society that has lost complexity and depth. It allows people to start and then stop a "texting" as they please. It exemplifies isolation and quarantine before covid.

There has been such a profound transformation because of texting/facetime that it is impossible for anybody under forty to understand this.

by Anonymousreply 3805/21/2020

r38 = monologuist

by Anonymousreply 3905/21/2020

But you can't share memes and gifs on a voice call, silly!

by Anonymousreply 4005/21/2020

Interesting point R39.

While a conversation requires give and take, the great monologue is becoming a historical artifact. Think of a Tennessee William's play, one fantastic monologue following another.

I'm happy to have heard many a great talker, in person or over the phone.

by Anonymousreply 4105/21/2020

R4 Of course, most people would ignore someone knocking at their door. All my friends or neighbors would text me before they came over; to do otherwise would be rude and common. If someone just comes to my door, I ignore them...the day of the Avon lady is gone.

by Anonymousreply 4205/21/2020

I've given up on those types, OP. If they can't answer the phone, or call back within the next fucking two weeks, fuck off. I learned, if you're chasing after someone it means they're running from you. I no longer chase people.

by Anonymousreply 4305/21/2020

THE CALL IS COMING FROM INSIDE THE HOUSE!

by Anonymousreply 4405/21/2020

I don’t answer because I’m out of pencils. I mean, what will I do if I have to write something down, or use the keypad to call someone back?

by Anonymousreply 4505/21/2020

Welcome to 2020 OP. Nobody answers the phone anymore. They also don't answer door buzzers, and often disconnect them entirely.

by Anonymousreply 4605/21/2020

OP They are rude, self-important queens like [R1} provided you aren't one of those who call and drone on for hours about nothing. Texting to me is for convenience. I don't have time to sit and type a long story when esoecially if I'm in my car. I'd much rather a short phone call. Texting does not convey anything as to nuance, emotion (emoticons are childish) from either side. OP, we're fortunate to not be busy like all the wannabe Edina Monsoons on this thread!

by Anonymousreply 4705/21/2020

OP is an angry Indian scammer.

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by Anonymousreply 4805/21/2020

If it’s an unknown number I never answer it. Most quick communication with friends and family is done via text. If it’s someone I know and it’s not convenient I don’t answer and then check their voicemail. I do enjoy long chats on the phone with so I have friends I talk with multiple times a week. I’ll also call friends out of the blue just to say hi, usually end up leaving a message and we catch up when it’s convenient for both of us

by Anonymousreply 4905/21/2020

OP, the phone, when it was invented, was designed to be a modern convenience to fulfill the communication needs of MY SCHEDULE, AND MY LIFE. I do not design my existence or schedule to revolve around the interruption of a telephone call, unless the caller and I have agreed upon a date and time in advance ( which I still occasionally do with those whose time and conversation I value.) Why would I ever interrupt my daily affairs to listen to the drivel of a telemarketer, an appointment reminder, or even a casual chat with an acquaintance when I am focused on something more important at the time, and can later screen and review my messages at a time that is more convenient to me?

by Anonymousreply 5005/21/2020

On the flip side of OP are people who refuse to leave a vm. I still do a fair amount of business on the phone and people call 2,3,4 times in a row and not leave a voicemail. This is especially annoying if you’re on a call and they’re beeping in your ear 2-3 minutes solid calling and over. Then the people who do leave a vm, you call back and get “I’m sorry the person you called has not set up their voicemail” or “the number you called is full and cannot receive any more more voicemail.” They get an automatic deny call when they call back. And even worse are the people who don’t listen to the vm you leave and immediately call back and say “I missed a call from this #” So you are forced to say everything you just left in a vm over again. All of these types are 9/10 younger people.

Get offa my lawn!

by Anonymousreply 5105/21/2020

I'm so desperate to talk to anyone that telemarketers hang up on me!

by Anonymousreply 5205/21/2020

OP do you also still send telegrams?

by Anonymousreply 5305/21/2020

In 2020, phone calls, except in the case of emergencies, are considered intrusive. Because they are, Blanche. Because they are, They're the equivalent of relatives showing up for a visit without having called first. That was common practice in my family when I was a kid, but those days are kaput.

by Anonymousreply 5405/21/2020

R51, I hate listening to voice mails, especially if they’re asking me to call them back at a different #. If I try to call someone and they don’t pick up, I’ll leave a text message rather than a voice mail.

by Anonymousreply 5505/21/2020

[quote]People who refuse to answer the phone

People who you call at a time that is inconvenient for them

by Anonymousreply 5605/21/2020

[quote] Do you ignore someone knocking on your door, too?

Who doesn't? Unless it's Amazon delivery you can all fuck off out of my property.

by Anonymousreply 5705/21/2020

Some people have a hang-up (hehe) about talking on the phone. It gets especially annoying when these people have a job that requires them to talk on the phone. I had a colleague who would never answer the phone. I'd leave a voicemail, and five minutes later, I'd get an email with an answer to my questions. I'd call to discuss her email further, and she wouldn't answer. It was a pathological thing with her.

by Anonymousreply 5805/21/2020

I felt compelled to answer my landline once my late Father reached 80, part expecting "the call" announcing his demise, part the motherfucker kept on driving despite having his license and insurance revoked until he was close to 90. Since my Father died, I only feel compelled to answer the phone if I'm expecting a delivery. Smartphones and SMS are the ultimate intrusion. Anyway, I'm not a dog that has to be at someone's beck/call.

by Anonymousreply 5905/21/2020

[quote]Do you ignore someone knocking on your door, too?

[quote]Who doesn't? Unless it's Amazon delivery you can all fuck off out of my property.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 6005/21/2020

[quote]Do you ignore someone knocking on your door, too?

I look out the peephole and if I dont recognize you. Fuck yeah I'm ignoring the door.

If I dont recognize a phone number I'm not answering it.

by Anonymousreply 6105/21/2020

If I’m not expecting anyone, no good can come of answering the door: Ed McMahon is dead and I don’t enter the Publisher’s Clearinghouse Sweepstakes anyway, so it isn’t going to be anyone with good news.

by Anonymousreply 6205/21/2020

You really want to know about people who refuse to answer the phone OP? Leave your number after the beep and we'll get back to you......beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep.

by Anonymousreply 6305/21/2020

People who call on the telephone, holding the listener hostage, are desperate for two things: attention and affirmation.

by Anonymousreply 6405/21/2020

I don't "refuse" to answer the phone, I choose not to answer. My life, my choice.

by Anonymousreply 6505/21/2020

I’ve posted this before but it is appropriate for this thread.

Everyone that I would allow to come visit me has my number. I’ve told them all to call/text first.

If I don’t get a text or call I do not get up to look to see who’s knocking on my door. They can stand out there and knock until their knuckles bleed.

That includes the cops.

by Anonymousreply 6605/21/2020

I have a friend of 11 years who also likes phone conversations. Unfortunately, there's a spectrum of chemistry between us on any given day or even year in our friendship. It's currently kind of off and we've been dodging each other a bit.

by Anonymousreply 6705/21/2020

R41 Think of a Tennessee William's play, one fantastic monologue following another

Are you suggesting his characters aren't very good at listening, nor resolving their issues nor moving the plot along?

I know Oscar Wilde said he liked dialogues as a way of exposing different thought processes. His "The Critic as Artist" from 1891 is in the form of a dialogue to present his (ironic/chameleonic) aesthetic philosophy.

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by Anonymousreply 6805/21/2020

This is a off topic but I didn’t want to start another thread just for this.

I live in a rural area and I have a friend that has a 17 acre property.

The back of his property is adjacent to a large public park. For several years drug addicts were trespassing on his property and smoking meth and shooting up.

He would find used drug paraphernalia and sometimes used needles on his property.

He bought a large piece of tin and some highly reflective paint and made a sign that said “Trespassers will be sodomized“

That put an end to the trespassing.

by Anonymousreply 6905/21/2020

I refuse to listen to voicemails. Don't fucking leave that shit. I'm more likely to answer the phone, which I don't do, than I am to ever listen to a VM. Anything you want me to listen to you say in a VM can be written more succinctly in a text. And, yes, phone calls are intrusive. Expecting another person to put down everything they are doing to listen to you blather on is arrogant and obnoxious. Textversation can be conducted at the convenience of both parties. By refusing to partake in them you're announcing that you don't really care about what the other person thinks and are only interested in the sound of your own voice. That or you're illiterate.

by Anonymousreply 7005/21/2020

r70 Or "I hate typing on that stupid little screen with that tiny little keyboard with my great big thumbs."

by Anonymousreply 7105/22/2020

What R 38 said. Given you recognize the caller, what is the big fucking deal with answering the goddamn phone.

Usually even brief information is transmitted more efficiently when we TALK to each other. Sheesh! Get over yourselves .... you’re too goddamn important to open your mouth probably stuffed with Oreos and say hello

by Anonymousreply 7205/22/2020

Haha I recognise so much in the replies here.

My doorbell is always disconnected, save for the day that I expect a parcel or a friend coming over - then I plug it in for a few hours.

Voicemail is turned off, so no inbox filled with incoherent monologues.

I don’t listen to or engage in voice messages on WhatsApp. Just type it out. Don’t have the time to listen to your rambling.

Emails get answered within a week, WhatsApp usually within a few days.

No notification badges, pings or whatsoever for any of my apps. When I feel like it, I’ll open the app to see if there’s something new.

by Anonymousreply 7305/22/2020

I love talking in person. I will converse with you all day long when we hang out. I love listening to my friends' stories, and talking about any topic.

However, I just don't like talking on the phone. Times have changed. It's no longer the norm.

by Anonymousreply 7405/22/2020

I hate talking on the phone unless there is something really important to be discussed.

by Anonymousreply 7505/22/2020

A ringing phone is a request for your attention, not a demand.

by Anonymousreply 7605/22/2020

R70, another reason for not texting is not having a cell phone.

[quote] Usually even brief information is transmitted more efficiently when we TALK to each other.

R72 obviously doesn't know my mother-in-law or my father or my sister or my neighbor or any Italians.

by Anonymousreply 7705/22/2020

I don't have a telephone plugged into my landline (it's free with my broadband) and I've never given out the number.

On my mobile I have Voicemail disabled, Anonymous caller auto-reject and a Blocklist (voice and text) of about 100 numbers. I don't have WhatsApp or any other crap either, I also turn it off around 8pm every evening.

Think I might be becoming a little antisocial.

by Anonymousreply 7805/22/2020

Just like Betty, I set a special ring tone so I know when my dad is calling.

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by Anonymousreply 7905/22/2020

Congratulations. They don't want to talk to you, bitch.

Text.

by Anonymousreply 8005/22/2020

[quote]Think of a Tennessee William's play, one fantastic monologue following another.

Oh, dear.

by Anonymousreply 8105/22/2020

How many fucking times are you going to obsess about this, OP?

by Anonymousreply 8205/22/2020

Text to set up a time for a call, easy.

by Anonymousreply 8305/22/2020

That's what I do with one particular friend, r83. On an irregular basis, but once a month at least. We talk for no less than two hours each time, usually, so it's not like either of us has an aversion to talking. But it's always by appointment.

by Anonymousreply 8405/22/2020

I'm glad that texting has grown in popularity. At least there are a lot fewer people blabbing loudly on their phones at the store, on the bus, etc.

by Anonymousreply 8505/22/2020

Yeah, but some things don’t change.

Now that we have telemedicine, I’ll get a text or an email saying “the doctor will call you at 11 am.”

And just like in the office, she’s always late - the phone will ring at 11:30 or so.

by Anonymousreply 8605/22/2020

I haven't taken the bus since Pandemica, r85, but the last time I did, it was filled with speakerphoning trash of every age, color, and ethnicity (female Chinese college students, usually so polite, are among the worst).

by Anonymousreply 8705/22/2020

I grew up with a mother who had a phone growing out of her ear, always yapping and carrying on with some other stupid Karen about some absolutely meaningless bullshit. She was addicted to the phone. No matter what she was doing, if the phone rang, she literally ran to answer it. I decided I would never be that person. So, I am the opposite. My normal setting on my phone is the ringer is silenced and I let everything go to voicemail. You'd be surprised how few people have anything important enough to say that is worthy of leaving a voicemail message.

It's my life, my schedule. I decide when I want my life interrupted by a phone call.

by Anonymousreply 8805/22/2020

Though I don't mind answering the phone if I know who it is—or, usually, talking to them—I no longer pick up if I don't know who's calling. It's almost always a robocall in a loud, stentorian tone about "your car insurance" or "your credit card."

by Anonymousreply 8905/22/2020

It’s way easier to lie over text.

by Anonymousreply 9005/22/2020

[quote] Now that we have telemedicine, I’ll get a text or an email saying “the doctor will call you at 11 am.” And just like in the office, she’s always late - the phone will ring at 11:30 or so.

I had the opposite problem. I had a phone appointment scheduled for 11:50. The doctor called at 9:30.

by Anonymousreply 9105/22/2020

OK. I admit it. I like to actually talk to people on the phone as opposed to texts.

From an ergonomic point of view, the cell/smart phone is one of the worst designed devices for use by humans. Bell Labs spent decades designing a handset for the telephone, providing something that fit the human hand, provided excellent input by cupping around the ear, thereby working to filter unwanted outside noise, and also allowed for reasonably private conversation even down to a whisper.

The current cell/smart phones mean that the listener hears all the background noise and voices from the talker. It provides a keypad with tiny buttons that many who are forced to use one find very user unfriendly.

But most glaring of all was the decision to design this modern device with the user friendly shape of a FUCKING RECTANGLE. Yes, of course, that really fits the human hand, doesn't it?

Meanwhile, while I have been forced into using texts to communicate under certain circumstances, clearly this kind of perpetual usage by so many has dumbed down the spelling and communication skills of many of the users.

The cell/smartphone is useful to communicate when not at home, but in turn, we are now forced to hear the inane conversations that are clearly similarl to the ones once held by the mothers of some of the posters up thread. The difference, now, is that instead of being confined to a caller's home, now this kind of increasingly inane chatter fills the air around us, everywhere. And those who text cheerfully, text away in movies and theaters with their lit screens disturbing those around them.

So, yes, I still have a landline. And, yes, I still have my AT&T Western Electric built telephones at my home. They still look as good as when I bought them, the sound quality is excellent and I am reminded of this every time I receive a call from someone's cell/smart phone when I hear all the background noise. I also have an answering machine so that I no longer am bothered by spam calls of any type. Those to whom I usually talk know this and start to leave a message which begins with "Pick up if you're there."

Thankfully, there is still at least one online site I know where someone (perhaps an old AT&T employee) sells original landline phones that he has bought up from yard sales, etc, refurbished and sells. Multiple colors. Multiple styles. (And Western Electric built phones sell for more than identical looking phones that were made by other manufacturers.)

You can even buy one of the "Lucy Phones", so called because it is the model that we saw in the Ricardo's apartment.

And, yes, GET OFF MY LAWN.

by Anonymousreply 9205/22/2020

[quote]A ringing phone is a request for your attention, not a demand.

I had a friend, now ex-, who used to say that all the time. He was the most mentally ill person I have ever known.

by Anonymousreply 9305/22/2020

R92 Is channelling Jim Rockford from 1974.

by Anonymousreply 9405/22/2020

Oh I blame CLID for that. You can see who is calling.

by Anonymousreply 9505/22/2020

[quote]A ringing phone is a request for your attention, not a demand.

And, as with any request, it can be politely declined.

by Anonymousreply 9605/22/2020

Who wants to answer the phone when there are people like Beverly Sutphin out there?

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by Anonymousreply 9705/22/2020

90% of the time, the person calling you isn't even on the other end of the line. It's a recording.

by Anonymousreply 9805/22/2020

Over the past decade, there were times when my job involved customer service, and I had to call people during the day. I would call people at their business phone, and they wouldn't answer. Then I would call them at their cell phone number, and they wouldn't answer. I would estimate that only 15% of people actually answered their phones when I called them. And these people had actually requested to be contacted.

One woman sent an email asking for a staff person to call her back. I called her at the cell phone number she provided. I greeted her in my most human-like voice, and I and asked, "Is this [firstname] [lastname]?" There was a hesitant pause, and then she said "uhh...no." I said, "I must have the wrong number." Then I immediately replied to her email and wrote "I just tried calling you at the phone number you provided, but the person who answered the phone said I had the wrong number. If you wish to speak with someone, please call our main line at xxx-xxx-xxxx." She wrote back right away, "I lied because I thought you were a salesperson."

by Anonymousreply 9905/22/2020

What R1 said. I never answer the phone.

by Anonymousreply 10005/22/2020

People who don't like to talk are young and have drone jobs.

by Anonymousreply 10105/22/2020

I'm shocked by the answers here, with thinking the demographic age usually runs 30+ on DL . I love R92s respond, pointing out what a design flaw the smart phones are. They're fragile, rectangular, but worst of all -- looking down! I'm not even middle age, but it really does a number on my neck and shoulders to constantly look down.

If people looked up and looked around, they'd notice what posture looks like now from all that looking down. They'd see the budding population of hunchbacks. The screens are extremely bad for the eyes and interrupting brain signals for sleep, with over stimulation (I suggest at least using the blue light filter on your phone.)

I prefer talking on the phone if someone has more than one thing to text to me. Sure, texting is good at times, but many people are texting novel after novel -- just fucking call already!

The excuses about not wanting life interrupted are strange when people are tethered to their cells, texting all day long. It does such a number on the neck, muscles, and eyes.

by Anonymousreply 10205/22/2020

This is such an exercise in control. I've sat with people who have multiple lines and will let all lines ring from the same person trying to reach them on all three lines. Then, 10 minutes later the person will call the caller back. It's like the person being called HAS to be in control. He HAS to be the one to make the call on HIS time, HIS way. It's just plain narcissisms.

by Anonymousreply 10305/22/2020

R103 it’s called being an adult, gramps

by Anonymousreply 10405/22/2020

My name is Patrick, don’t hang up!

by Anonymousreply 10505/22/2020

I agree it's uncomfortable to text. I have cool (temperature) hands and smooth fingerprints (hard to get fingerprints from) and it's hard to text on that glass screen. I would actually prefer the Blackberry phone for texting (has an actual mini keyboard with physical buttons). I "text" from a program on my computer. I would not be able to go back and forth for very long if I actually had to use my phone to text.

by Anonymousreply 10605/22/2020

I agree r106. I'm a small woman with small hands and I don't know how people type on phones. I prefer doing everything from my laptop's keyboard.

by Anonymousreply 10705/22/2020

R107, I actually have a full-sized keyboard. My shoulders are a little wide (not bragging) and it's just more comfortable.

by Anonymousreply 10805/22/2020

How can I text using a full-sized keyboard?

by Anonymousreply 10905/22/2020

R109, my computer (Mac) came with a built-in program called "Messages." My texts pop up on my phone and in the "Messages" program as well.

by Anonymousreply 11005/22/2020

I never answer my phone, especially if it's my mother, and it's added 10 years to my like.

Leave a message after the fucking BEEEEEP

by Anonymousreply 11105/22/2020

r109 If you have an Android phone, use Google messages.

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by Anonymousreply 11205/22/2020

This is more about people being confrontation averse. Texting allows you to craft your response. To avoid non filtered communication. If somebody calls and I recognize the number, I answer if I’m able. If not, I will send them a text so we can arrange to communicate later.

It’s not some high minded reclamation of personal space and time. It’s lazy and like most lazy actions, it turns into more work because the person that you chose to give your number to still needs to talk.

I am also willing to cut people off and end the call. I would rather do that than leave things hanging.

Kudos to the people who won’t leave voice mail. If I’m not important enough for you to pick up, then your not important enough for me to leave a message.

by Anonymousreply 11305/22/2020

R36, I'm not "trying to talk to people here" -- I'm just reading what's been posted and maybe posting myself if I think that anything I have to say might interest some other reader (which is seldom the case). That's not like "talk[ing] to people", it's more like absent-minded humming to myself.

by Anonymousreply 11405/22/2020

OP you want me to answer the phone? I can barely muster the energy to answer this post.

by Anonymousreply 11505/22/2020

[quote] Kudos to the people who won’t leave voice mail. If I’m not important enough for you to pick up, then your not important enough for me to leave a message.

Wait a second. There are legit reasons why a person would not be able to pick up their phones, e.g., being in the bathroom. This sounds unreasonable.

by Anonymousreply 11605/22/2020

If I have to communicate something and tone is important (I don't want to hurt someone's feelings), I will make a phone call.

by Anonymousreply 11705/22/2020

So many of you seem to be terribly maladjusted people, who really need therapy. If someone calling you or knocking on your door fills you with evident anxiety, you need extensive help. That being said, I do screen my calls. If I do not recognize your number, I do not answer. I will listen to the voicemail and call you back. If I do recognize the number, I will either answer or send a text that I cannot talk at the moment. I do not consider a call to be invading my personal space. Sometimes I like having a conversation over text, but it draws it out. A conversation that would be a 15-minute call, might turn into a three-hour text conversation. I also do not mind people just coming over, I would never request them to call or text first. If I'm busy when they knock, I'll just meet them at the door and explain I am busy but that I look forward to seeing them another time.

by Anonymousreply 11805/22/2020

[quote] fills you with evident anxiety

project much, R118? No one said it "fills them with anxiety," but apparently it does for you, the unsolicited caller.

by Anonymousreply 11905/22/2020

R119 All the sensitive people shrieking about it being an invasion of the personal space and being too "intimate" are expressing personal anxiety.

by Anonymousreply 12005/22/2020

No, R118 nailed it. Another byproduct of cell phone addiction. I guess its better than not being able to pee around others.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 12105/22/2020

What an odd topic to elicit so much emotion from both sides of this 'issue!'

by Anonymousreply 12205/22/2020

Just remember there is no such thing as a completed deleted text. It's out there forever. To be reported, analyzed, and mocked until the end of time. -Judge Judy

by Anonymousreply 12305/22/2020

Preferring text over talk is an old habit most of us long time cell phone owners have.

In the old days before unlimited talk and text it was far cheaper to text then to talk.

by Anonymousreply 12405/22/2020

Actually, R124, I had a plan with unlimited data, but texts were $0.50. My talk minutes were also really limited. I finally had to give up my unlimited data, which was difficult for me to give up.

by Anonymousreply 12505/22/2020

The phones are there for my convenience, not for anyone anywhere on earth - literally - calling to try to sell me something or scam me.

If they love me or need me, they'll leave a message. And if it's not in Cantonese, I'll call back.

by Anonymousreply 12605/22/2020

I pay for phone service so I may call out, not so others can call anytime they feel like it.

by Anonymousreply 12705/22/2020

I never answer the phone. Actually, the ringer is turned off. The phone is for calling out. I let all calls go to voicemail.

by Anonymousreply 12805/22/2020

I’m that person. I really don’t like talking on the phone. Texting is better

by Anonymousreply 12905/22/2020

Years ago, before texting and emails, I genuinely enjoyed having long telephone conversations with two or three old friends, especially after I moved away from them because of work. A couple of these friends still like to have occasional long phone chats, so I indulge them, but I have no patience for it anymore and can't wait to get off the phone. I hate to admit it, but I find their calls intrusive rather then enjoyable.

by Anonymousreply 13005/22/2020

I discovered recently—via text, of course—that an old friend I've assumed hated me simply doesn't like to talk on the phone. He got in touch with me via text about a month ago, and we texted for about an hour. It was sort of like talking, but at least now I know he doesn't hate me.

Twenty years ago, I moved from the city where we knew each other, and he is one of the few friends with whom I lost touch, except for Xmas (sent by him only) and birthday cards. I called him a few times, and we'd talk, but he never initiated a phone conversation, so I assumed he didn't care about the relationship. I have continued to send him birthday cards, and we will email every seven years or so, but I considered the relationship a relic of the past.

And now he tells me he just likes texting.

He sent me a thing the other morning, an article in the Times about something that reminded him of me, and we texted for maybe half an hour. I guess this is friendship, but it seems weak compared to talking on the phone, something that has never bothered me.

by Anonymousreply 13105/22/2020

I'm really surprised by the vehemence of the "don't call me" crowd here! I certainly understand not picking up a call if the number is unknown because of telemarketing. If I know that the friend calling me prefers to talk on the phone, and I'm busy, I text back with a proposed time to call them, and I do. The people who think they're too important and busy to take a phone call will be on this board in a few years complaining about loneliness and how undependable their friends are. I bet these same people are on Insta and FB for HOURS every day.

by Anonymousreply 13205/22/2020

I’m a phone person and love long chats with friends. Texting is fine for quick notes but not for a conversation. It’s interesting how so few people are good at talking on the phone. My best friend and I talk on the phone regularly about anything and everything. She is a personal banker and with covid she has been reaching out to customers more over the phone. Her business has continued steadily while peers are faltering. Because of her continued success, the large bank she works for singled her out to give pointers to their other employees about how to connect with people over the phone. It’s a helpful skill to have.

by Anonymousreply 13305/23/2020

There are very few people I will like to speak with by phone. Voice mail is the answer, just as it is when it's inconvenient to answer for whatever reason.

I answer calls during the day because they are almost invariably deliveries. Likewise the doorbell; if it's at night or a time when I'm not expecting anyone, I very rarely answer that either.

Communication preferences in order:

WhatsApp

Text

Email

Voicemail

Facebook messenger (why others use it I don't know, but they do)

Phone

by Anonymousreply 13405/23/2020

I like WhatsApp as I get to actually see people. I do pick up the phone. The landline is mostly robocalls. I'm really an out of touch old gay, aren't I? I tell people it's always 1974 in my house.

by Anonymousreply 13505/23/2020

OP is calling someone to find out how Cafe Bustelo works.

by Anonymousreply 13605/23/2020

R132, re-read your own post and see how the point went right over your own head. People use these other text-based mediums entirely because they *prefer* them to talking. They *enjoy* text-based interaction. They don’t enjoy listening to and the other monologuists blather on about themselves.

by Anonymousreply 13705/23/2020

No one is obligated to make himself available any time someone else feels like calling.

A telephone is a communication device, not a feudal overlord.

by Anonymousreply 13805/23/2020

While taking a shit this morning, I happened to wonder what the Venn diagram crossing phone haters with Lysol pizza sprayers might look like. I was thinking near-complete overlap. Prissy is as prissy does. And in each case, prissy fucking DOES.

by Anonymousreply 13905/23/2020

I'm so glad that the days of someone calling and trapping me on the phone with endless rantings about things that I couldn't give a shit about are over. I always text someone and ask if they have a minute to talk before I call and almost everyone that I know does the same with me. I think that's just common sense now. What I'm not getting is people who are aggravated or too busy to listen to a 10 second voicemail. Who's calling you and leaving these Gettysburg address messages?

by Anonymousreply 14005/23/2020

If a text goes more than 2-3 back and forth, then I’m calling. If they don’t answer, than I will no respond to said text message

by Anonymousreply 14105/23/2020

I'm torn, r141. I really don't know what the right thing to do is. So many people seem not to like to talk on the phone. I don't want anyone to react to me the way r140 is describing. I'm not trying to "trap" anyone, but if that is what people are thinking, I'd rather not have anything to do with them at all. I think that's what happened with me and the friend I described in r131.

I really don't know what to do. I have a new friend...just a friend...and sometimes we get in these longish text sessions which, after three back-and-forths, I FUCKING HATE! I guess I need to communicate with him as to how he prefers to communicate. This is the kind of info people should put in their email signatures, not their pronouns. This actually matters.

by Anonymousreply 14205/23/2020

Having been nearly killed on the road numerous times with people answering phone calls to discuss what nine times out of ten are completely inane and nonessential issues that could easily wait until a convenient place to pull over or until home, YES! Prissy: guilty as charged.

People have a right not to feel like talking to anyone, or to carry on with what they are doing without interruption, and return a call later on, and to resist putting their own and others' lives at risk on the road because they must immediately discuss what colour to paint the bedroom, whether to plant lobelia or something else in the back garden, or to find out how Oliver [not his real name] did in the school match that afternoon.

For the record, I have been a passenger in cars in which drivers were taking calls on precisely those topics. The driver of the "lobelia" discussion, who pointed out in annoyance when I protested that he was excellent driver and "laser focussed on the road", two week later swerved slightly out of his lane because he was talking whilst driving and side-swiped another vehicle on a busy road. Fortunately, no one was hurt.

by Anonymousreply 14305/23/2020

Have a friend who loves to talk on the phone. Two days ago when I was out he left VoiceMail, "I have a question to ask you." Emailed asking him to reply with the question. Haven't heard from him, guess it wasn't important.

by Anonymousreply 14405/23/2020

A co-worker has the annoying habit of emailing to say they left a VM.

by Anonymousreply 14505/23/2020

R109 Bluetooth. But it is cumbersome because of the formatting. When apple introduced Bluetooth on their keyboards years ago and phones did not have fingerprint security we would grab somebody's phone at work and attach the keyboard via Bluetooth without their knowledge. It was quite entertaining to invade their text communication and start typing hateful things to the CEO while they stood there aghast at what was happening.

Before you people who are addicted to your phone jump my shit, these were all company phones. There was no expectation of privacy. Nobody got their feelings hurt in the making of this prank.

by Anonymousreply 14605/23/2020

R145 Could they be doing this because you don't exactly have a stellar reputation when it comes to answering voice mails?

by Anonymousreply 14705/23/2020

R145 I find that happens a lot amongst younger people. I receive a lot of similar “I emailed you but haven’t heard back” voicemail or vice-versa and it’s only been 20 minutes since they emailed/called.

The other day I was on a call with my bank and I had someone email, call 3x (with no voicemail), then text that they emailed and called and I hadn’t responded all during the length of my call. This was all business related. Texting has become a scourge for business when used in this manner.

One annoying thing about long text convos is that autocorrect is so bad now, I spend much of the time deleting and retyping things over and over.

by Anonymousreply 14805/23/2020

R148, here's where I ask the question that no one ever answers: can't autocorrect be disabled?

by Anonymousreply 14905/23/2020

R149 You can and predictive text is another that you can turn off, however it seems to slow down typing quite a bit. It never used to be as bad as it is is (I’m iPhone) to where it substitutes words that make no sense or are even gibberish for words you might hit one wrong letter. For months my phone would change “been” to “Bern.” How often am I talking about the capital of Switzerland? (This was before Bernie was a huge thing)

In another thread I was just trying to type “bingewatch” and was not hitting a wrong key. My phone kept changing it to “binges at home,” which did not work in the sentence.

In my line of work I have to explain a lot of housing law to new clients. It is much easier to hop on one phone call to answer all their questions at once rather than going back and forth in email or text for hours/days. Phone calls are still quite useful In the business world. Also texts aren’t preserved the same as emails can be, so it’s not as easy to keep a written record of something you might need for legal purposes.

by Anonymousreply 15005/23/2020

[quote]can't autocorrect be disabled?

It can and it should be. It's the first thing I do on a new device.

by Anonymousreply 15105/23/2020

Thanks, R151 and R150. If I had a smart phone, I'd disable anything that tried to secondguess me. The spellcheck on my laptop just highlights possible errors by underlining the word in red (on my screen, not in what I send), which alerts me to check if I agree that it might be wrong but the decision whether or not to change it is up to me. Yet so many people just complain about it without disabling it, it's almost as if they want that excuse for their own errors.

by Anonymousreply 15205/23/2020

I know there are still people (boomers mostly, and I'm a late-boomer myself) who insist on "just picking up the phone." The ones in my life tend to let days go by before they look at texts, and then they seldom respond. They just don't get or like texting, it almost makes them mad, but to me, it is the greatest form of communication ever invented.

Remember when people used to bemoan the end of letter-writing? Well, with texting, it's basically back. Get with it!

by Anonymousreply 15305/23/2020

Letter writing wasn't a pain in the neck, though, r153 (literally). I'm so sick of looking down at that tiny little screen and using that tiny little keyboard.

by Anonymousreply 15405/23/2020

I can barely write with pen and paper anymore, it no longer feels natural. Try dictation, R154 (but always proofread)

by Anonymousreply 15505/23/2020

The intrusiveness of the telephone is as old as telephone itself. And its intrusiveness, completely coming from its previous anonymity, is now over. Good.

People cannot come to your door and, because they are hidden, expect to be let in. Of course we have friends and family who are welcome at our door or on the phone at any time, but that doesn't apply to everyone, including some friends and family members. It's not always a matter of their being the type to trap people and overstay - no one has a right to interrupt someone at home just because she or he has time to chat.

So with caller ID the norms of social etiquette finally have been restored.

BUT the other issue going on is that people now have many options for communication. Three generations, with more on the way, have been at least partly unsocialized and lack basic courtesy. With their personal preferences they select how they will communicate and are willing to exclude those who do not communicate in those ways. It is impolite to expect everyone one knows to be up to speed with the most-current mode of tech in order to reach people. But that's their choice, and such people are better left in their exclusive and less-socially-cluttered worlds.

Points are simple: No one has to answer the phone. If you have a message to leave, leave it by the communication means you have. And if you want to talk, set an appointment.

by Anonymousreply 15605/23/2020

R132 What causes people to be so indignant about talking on the phone? They try to pretend that it is some personal preference or some bullshit about phones being outdated technology. All these methods of communication have their advantages. We have covered them ad nauseam already. It is because talking on the phone makes them uncomfortable.

[quote] Verbal calls require you to alter your voice tones to pretend your happy to speak to the caller.

[quote] Expecting another person to put down everything they are doing to listen to you blather on is arrogant and obnoxious

[quote] They don't want to talk to you, bitch.

They are either embarrassed or hampered by their inability to interact with people in an environment that they do not control. Aunt Polly goes on a bit on the phone? Cut her off politely and get off the phone with her. After a couple of times she will get it. I prefer text. But I am not going to waste my time trying to avoid someone that I have given my number. All the other fluff about not answering the phone is really just cover for the lack of social skills and a fear of spontaneous conversation. It's like they all turn into incels when the phone rings.

And of course, the obvious:

[quote] It’s way easier to lie over text.

by Anonymousreply 15705/23/2020

I talk a lot on the phone, facetime, zoom etc. with family, friends and co-workers. We run a business out of our home, so get frequent deliveries also, however as a rule I do not answer the door, doorbell, landline or cellphone if I do not know who it is or why they want to talk to or see me. I think that's a pretty average stance for people today. When I was a kid (1960's) I couldn't imagine a scenario where my mother wouldn't answer the phone or the door because it would have been considered extremely rude - now, I just think we live in different times.

by Anonymousreply 15805/23/2020

At this point, I have only a couple of friends who expect semi-regular phone conversations. The problem I have with them is that both are monologists, and once on the phone, they don't seem to want to get off. I do talk to them, because they are old friends whom I don't see very often and who live pretty far away. But I also know, once I start to talk, I'm going to be expected to be on the phone for a minimum of an hour, and very likely two hours. It's exhausting. At the same time, both are very bad about responding to emails.

by Anonymousreply 15905/23/2020

Try delivering food where the customer wants "no contact". In order to drop off the food at their door, we must call them to get approval...you know, so they know it is there.

by Anonymousreply 16005/23/2020

I dont mind talking on the phone, but I *HATE* voicemail. It is such a pain in the ass to listen too. I actually keep my voicemail box full so people can never leave me a voicemail. its 2020 you have text or email me if you need to leave a message.

by Anonymousreply 16105/23/2020

Even my elderly relatives do texting now.

by Anonymousreply 16205/23/2020

We all "do texting" now, r162. That doesn't mean we prefer it, or even like it. We just accept it.

by Anonymousreply 16305/23/2020

Yes. Texting has been invaluable to the elderly and hard of hearing.

by Anonymousreply 16405/23/2020

Texting takes up too much time if it's more than and beyond where to meet or when. It's for people who have a lot of time.

And better than a call is meeting face to face if you're higher up the work hierarchy.

by Anonymousreply 16505/23/2020

I live in a hilly part of LA, and phone reception can be spotty. And there's always a lag. Another reason phone conversations are annoying. At least old fashioned landlines sounded better.

by Anonymousreply 16605/23/2020

Totally disagree texting is for people who have a lot of time. It's the exact opposite.

Takes 10 seconds to dictate a time and place to meet. Meanwhile a phone call has to include niceties. But I get it, some people just need voice interaction. An extrovert thing maybe? Personally I love texting and an in-person get together. Talking to a disembodied voice on the voice is an in-between that I dislike.

by Anonymousreply 16705/23/2020

R142, of course you have to have a sense of your friends' communication habits and preferences. You hate texting, some of your friends prefer it and hate the phone, or don't read email.

I look at voice mail messages only from (some) phone calls and on WhatsApp from some friends. Don't leave a string of 12 frantic voice notes about meeting somewhere in 30 minutes (yes, you are a woman who has 100 stupid questions to ask and I am a man who will just show up within 5 minutes if the appointed time; you'll have to send a text message to get my attention.)

With some people I can leave a voice message, a text, or a WhatsApp text and they will always reply with fucking FB messenger. Other idiots want to post details that only two people in the world care about on my FB feed, so I have to block that. Work is not much better because we have two sets of email and two sets of messaging apps and two sets of voice mail (the last if which no one ever uses.)

by Anonymousreply 16805/23/2020

This has been a fascinating conversation (really!) because I hadn't understood how vehemently many people reject telephone calls or -- shudder -- the possibility of somebody dropping by. Perhaps the people who shot Abery were just Dataloungers, enraged by the possibility of a drop-by.

In his book Sapiens, the Israeli Historian of ideas Harari has a nice phrase (when describing the shift from Neolithic nomadic hunter culture to agrarianism in the Tigris-Euphrates delta), something like, "man didn't cultivate wheat, wheat cultivated us." So it is with iphones, texting, even the technologies of call identification. They have changed us, even as we have become reliant on them. We are increasingly isolated or -- to quote Michel Houellebecq, "atomized". Covid has just intensified a psychical process of self-quarantine that has already taken place.

Something left out of the discussion is the way that iphones, texting, etc also allow for multi-tasking: people talk, watch television, etc as they text. So now many sapiens find the idea of an intimate conversation over the phone to be invasive because it requires concentration if it is to be a conversation.

Machines are not uni-directional, they don't "think" this way, they can do multiple things at the same time and now so do we. I restrict my texting because I find the long waits between responses (sometimes they are fast, sometimes I am just left hanging) to be the antithesis of what I expect from a conversation. My students, too, have (almost universally) lost the ability to concentrate and covid has significantly intensified this.

by Anonymousreply 16905/23/2020

I'm a real estate agent and when push comes to shove, everyone would rather talk on the phone for serious matters. My clients over 50 might also prefer day to day communication to be talking. Sometimes talking is so much more efficient than endless texting. The worst is young millennials & older Gen Z love to Facetime for everything. This is my age, but I find a surprise FaceTime the most invasive of all. I'm 39 and I'm just not into it.

by Anonymousreply 17005/23/2020

Talk talk talk, it's only talk Comments, cliches, commentary, controversy Chatter, chit-chat, chit-chat, chit-chat, Conversation, contradiction, criticism It's only talk Cheap talk

by Anonymousreply 17105/23/2020

[quote]This has been a fascinating conversation (really!) because I hadn't understood how vehemently many people reject telephone calls or -- shudder -- the possibility of somebody dropping by.

Why is it so hard to understand why people do not want someone to just "drop by" unannounced? This isn't the 19th century, when people would make rounds in their carriages and leave calling cards with the help. I wouldn't dream of just "dropping in" on someone without asking first whether the time would be convenient.

by Anonymousreply 17205/23/2020

R157 you seem lonely and bitter

by Anonymousreply 17305/23/2020

I must get a dozen spam calls a day.

My phone is one silent & do-not-disturb 24/7.

If you need to contact me, there's email and text. If you need to talk to me, set up a time beforehand so I know you're calling, and I'll pick up. Or text me first.

Cold-calling me is completely disrespectful, imho, so don't do it. Ever.

by Anonymousreply 17405/23/2020

Speaking of projecting:

[quote] [R157] you seem lonely and bitter

by Anonymousreply 17505/23/2020

[quote] Why is it so hard to understand why people do not want someone to just "drop by" unannounced? This isn't the 19th century, when people would make rounds in their carriages and leave calling cards with the help. I wouldn't dream of just "dropping in" on someone without asking first whether the time would be convenient.

That is quite the jump. Not answering the phone because you are busy is nothing new.. That is quite different from making a practice of never answering the phone. Why is it that you dislike talking on the phone? I am really asking. Maybe it is because you can't read body language over the phone. That you might prefer the nuance of in person communication. This would make sense. It would also explain why you would prefer a text because that gives you complete control over how you present yourself. I think that you guys instantly go to DefCon one because you don't understand why that ringing phone upsets you.

by Anonymousreply 17605/23/2020

My paternal line is not much inclined to phone chatter. My father would in most cases rather have chewed off an arm than to have to devote more than seconds on a phone. He would drive for an hour to find out if a store was open rather than call and ask.

I communicate mostly on the phone with a couple of friends--and that's perfectly fine, no hardship or anything, it's just the way things evolved with us and I like talking with them. My first impulse though is anything but the phone. And I often find myself resentful of having to make calls to businesses who clearly have the technology to solve my problem with chat or email or text (The New York Times can take my subscription and payment without ever talking to me, but if I want to cancel...)

by Anonymousreply 17705/23/2020

I received too many calls wanting to order spicy prawn balls from the Chinese takeaway. No more.

by Anonymousreply 17805/23/2020

Did you know that the germs can come through the wires? I never call and I never answer. It's a good way to get sick. Very, very sick... That's how I got so sick! SOMEONE CALLED ME ON THE TELEPHONE!

by Anonymousreply 17905/23/2020

R167 really nails it for me: “.. a phone call has to include niceties.”

Tell me what you want. Stop beating around the bush. We can talk and catch up when we see each other in person.

I’m guessing many of the people who dislike calls also dislike explainer videos. Or news headlines that don’t you take to a written article but to a video instead. Argh! I have no interest in your filler talk.

by Anonymousreply 18005/23/2020

To all the delicate queens here who refuse to answer the phone because they consider it to be an intolerable, aggressive intrusion I say : Congratulations, you've reached peak snowflake!

by Anonymousreply 18105/23/2020

In under 45 society you text first, you don't call someone out of the blue.

by Anonymousreply 18205/23/2020

[quote] you've reached peak snowflake

Says the person who's mad that we won't take her calls, R181

by Anonymousreply 18305/23/2020

You can’t gossip via text, it leaves receipts!

by Anonymousreply 18405/23/2020

[quote]That is quite different from making a practice of never answering the phone. Why is it that you dislike talking on the phone? I am really asking.

I doubt you're sincere, but I FUCKING HATE TALKING ON THE PHONE. I always have. I always will. I hate cold-calling and being cold-called the worst. My idea of hell is working in a call-center.

Just because YOU don't mind talking on the phone doesn't mean everyone is like you.

I call my parents on mother's day and father's day out of respect and tradition, but I fucking hate every minute of it.

And I never answer my phone. Leave a voice-mail. If it's important I'll call back. Or text me first to let me know you're calling.

This isn't rocket science and it isn't hard to understand.

by Anonymousreply 18505/23/2020

Well said, R180.

by Anonymousreply 18605/23/2020

[quote]You can’t gossip via text, it leaves receipts!

yup, gotta say as a fan of trashy court TV shows, I don't think anything has changed those cases so much as texting. An actual record of a conversation rather than everyone lying about what was said, or at best hearing what they wanted to hear, in retrospect.

by Anonymousreply 18705/23/2020

R182 - you can include me in that group and I'm 61.

by Anonymousreply 18805/23/2020

Europe has much better control of unsolicited phone calls than does the U.S. No one calling from an insurance company or a bank or an investment company as a "courtesy call."

"Courtesy call? Courtesy is you not disturbing me with offers and small talk I don't want." "Yes, I'm happy with my existing bank services; no, I'm not interested in meeting with an advisor from Edward Jones, not in opening a credit card account with a favorable interest rate, nor in having all of my investments under your roof."

No political calls.

No calls from charities whose repayment for past contributions is to beg for them with increasing frequency ever after.

No calls from retailers asking if I would like an extended service plan for a cheap electric drill.

No calls from college alumni associations.

A few get through, but the telltale sign is an incoming call from a number with 20 or so digits, not 9 or 11. They never leave messages and I never know what they were trying to sell or scam me.

The calls that are from my country are always related to something I've ordered or some ongoing matter, not a courtesy call and not a pointless follow-up.

by Anonymousreply 18905/23/2020

Trust me. Your parents aren’t thrilled about being on the phone with you either. They just pretend to be so they can keep in touch. I’m sure that since they raised you they can recognize the disdain. No good deed goes unpunished it would seem.

But the fact that you can’t explain why you hate it or why it gets you so mad makes it sound like you don’t know why. And it obviously frustrates you. I would want to know why my buttons were being pushed.

by Anonymousreply 19005/23/2020

There are apps you can install on your phone that block or label spam/political calls. They do a pretty good job of filtering out most.

by Anonymousreply 19105/23/2020

OP I pay for my phone, you don't so I decide when and for who it gets answered, get it? That being said, clearly they don't want to talk to you, I answer when it is someone I want to talk to and don't when it isn't. So it is you who is the problem, you are either boring, annoying or both, stop bothering them.

by Anonymousreply 19205/23/2020

R51 I had a couple of friends that did that. they would always call and when they didn't pick up they hung up without leaving a voicemail. Then when I call them later they say hohokam you do and pick up I responded with why didn't you leave a message I would have called you right

Now on Android phones at least if you hang up on someone when it goes straight to voicemail it would say "Say you called leave a text message" so at least that's better

by Anonymousreply 19305/23/2020

[quote]That is quite the jump. Not answering the phone because you are busy is nothing new.. That is quite different from making a practice of never answering the phone.

That was quite the jump you made yourself, R176. My remark was specifically about people who drop by one's house unannounced. It had nothing to do with people refusing to pick up the phone.

by Anonymousreply 19405/23/2020

[quote] when I call them later they say hohokam you do and pick up I responded with why didn't you leave a message I would have called you right

English is hard, huh?

by Anonymousreply 19505/23/2020

I love that my iphone transcribes voicemails so I don't have to listen to them. I HATE listening to vms, it's tedious.

by Anonymousreply 19605/23/2020

WE don't want to talk to a spaz like you, OP

by Anonymousreply 19705/23/2020

I never answer the door unless I'm expecting someone. Delivery people like Amazon just leave the packages on my front porch.

by Anonymousreply 19805/23/2020

Right you are r172.

Good evenung

by Anonymousreply 19905/23/2020

These days, hearing your doorbell ring or hearing a knock on your door when you aren't expecting company is a rather startling experience. On the very rare occasions this has happened to me, I'm instantly on high alert.

by Anonymousreply 20005/23/2020

A cold call is ALWAYS an interruption and intrusion. It's disrespectful. It's a demand to drop whatever you're doing and spend your time at the whim of whomever is calling. Unless it's an EMERGENCY, it's just plain rude and presumptuous.

by Anonymousreply 20105/23/2020

[quote] This has been a fascinating conversation (really!) because I hadn't understood how vehemently many people reject telephone calls

Because these people are from the lower socioeconomic rungs of society. Try telling a CEO of Meghan you won’t take their call. Not that they’ll call these people.

by Anonymousreply 20205/23/2020

What is "a CEO of Meghan"?

by Anonymousreply 20305/23/2020

R202 is a Klan Granny for sure. Freudian slip!

by Anonymousreply 20405/23/2020

R203 Harry, Rose.

by Anonymousreply 20505/23/2020

I’m no more obliged to answer my phone than I am to open my front door if someone buzzes or knocks.

by Anonymousreply 20605/23/2020

Here’s the thing, when the phone rings it’s always about a problem.

by Anonymousreply 20705/24/2020

R184 that’s true. I do think of that.

by Anonymousreply 20805/24/2020

[quote] Here’s the thing, when the phone rings it’s always about a problem

Thank you R207 for being another truth teller. I imagine what you say is much closer to the truth than the majority of the anti-phone posters.

Does that normally make the problem go away, ignoring it?

Is that how you deal with all your problems?

by Anonymousreply 20905/24/2020

[quote]Does that normally make the problem go away, ignoring it? Is that how you deal with all your problems?

Sure, when I can get away with it.

by Anonymousreply 21005/24/2020

R209 Who said I ignored problems? I just said when the phone rings, it’s usually some problem. Therefore I cringe whenever it rings, but certainly if it’s a family member, I answer it in case somebody’s in trouble. Why do you care so much?

by Anonymousreply 21105/24/2020

I only have voicemail on my cell phone because I need it for work. Nobody in my personal life leaves vm anymore except for two of my elderly uncles.

by Anonymousreply 21205/24/2020

R1 seems to think she's so important people are desperate to call her and talk to her, They're not.

by Anonymousreply 21305/24/2020

*talk to her. They're not.

by Anonymousreply 21405/24/2020

I never gossip so I guess that aspect of "phone over text" never even occurred to me.

Phones are annoying.

BTW, I never answer a knock at my door either, unless I'm expecting someone.

by Anonymousreply 21505/24/2020

OP, people are not obligated to talk to you, be your friend, or love you. If nobody wants to talk to you, maybe it's you, not them.

by Anonymousreply 21605/24/2020

Re: feelings of invasiveness associated with telephone calls (strangers knocking on the front door is a different thing)

Granted, texting is all about radical distancing and self-protection. But for me FaceTime or the endless Zoom meetings are truly invasive.

People don't really listen, or rather they listen and look. I've never had a really interesting or intimate conversation on either, the visual aspect is too distracting. On larger zoom calls people are mostly interested in looking into the houses of their colleagues.

by Anonymousreply 21705/24/2020

R217 I agree Facetime, etc. is invasive. I never participate in them unless I have prepared beforehand or am already presentable, as are my surroundings. That is why I prefer voice calls, I can look like crap and my house can be a mess and no one would ever know.

by Anonymousreply 21805/24/2020

Back in the day, we used to dream about THE FUTURE, which would include TV-telephones. Well, we got 'em, and not only are they not a big deal, they're annoying.

by Anonymousreply 21905/24/2020

Texting > phone calls > video calls > Knocking on the door unexpectedly

by Anonymousreply 22005/24/2020

R144 here. My friend emailed today. Wanted to know if I'm on a Statin. I don't have a cholesterol problem, so I simply answered "No." He wrote back asking if I were on the drug would I also take Coenzyne Q10.. I replied "Since I have no need for a Statin there is reason for your question." Haven't heard from him since. If this were a phone call, he would turn this into a half-hour conversation. That's why I don't answer when his Caller ID pops up.

by Anonymousreply 22105/24/2020

[quote]Back in the day, we used to dream about THE FUTURE, which would include TV-telephones. Well, we got 'em, and not only are they not a big deal, they're annoying.

Funny. When I was a kid (yes, I'm an eldergay), "picture phones" were considered the very epitome of what Life in the Future would be like. I remember my mother and her sisters talking about them and wondering whether they would have the option of turning off the picture function, in case someone called them while they had rollers in their hair or had some other reason why they didn't consider themselves presentable.

by Anonymousreply 22205/24/2020

R221 You are a very different friend than I am. If a friend of mine asked me a question like that I would research it and give them my opinion.

by Anonymousreply 22305/24/2020

That’s right R222. To this day I hear the words “the future” in my head pronounced with that mid Atlantic announcer accent that used to narrate educational films. “In the FEWTCHA, there will be flying cars....”

by Anonymousreply 22405/24/2020

The FUTURE turned out to be a big gyp. Where's my flying car? Where's my personal jetpack? Where are the moving sidewalks? (Other than inside airport terminals.) Where are the domed cities? Where's my robot maid?

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by Anonymousreply 22505/24/2020

[quote]People who don't like to talk are young and have drone jobs.

Nope. I'm 50 and have avoided phone calls for most of my life.

by Anonymousreply 22605/24/2020

Some of us have mobility issues that make texting laborious and sometimes painful. I have nerve damage in my right arm that makes texting (and posting on DL) a long, tedious process. I spend several minutes finding and correcting my numerous typos before I post (then am annoyed to see that I still missed some). For that reason, WhatsApp is my favorite way to communicate- I can leave voice recordings and friends can respond to them whichever way they prefer, whenever it's convenient for them.

People with cognitive issues often have a hard time interpreting and composing texts. I taught my elderly neighbor how to use WhatsApp and he says it's a relief not to have to text any more. He can barely see his keyboard on the largest setting, has arthritis in his hands, and can't compose sentences as easily as he used to. I suspect he was never much of a reader or writer to begin with, so audio recordings and phone calls will always be his preference.

by Anonymousreply 22705/24/2020

Just text me and do NOT show up where I live without my permission.

by Anonymousreply 22805/25/2020

R227, are you aware that both Windows and Android have universal dictation? You can just speak your texts, or your posts in here.

by Anonymousreply 22905/25/2020

🤣 [italic] Guilty As Charged !

by Anonymousreply 23005/25/2020

The interesting thing about this thread is there seems to be agreement about unsolicited calls from strangers. The division comes with friends and family to whom our phone numbers have been given. The resentment towards this group actually seems to be greater than the resentment generated by the robocalls. Since I would rather create a resentment than have one, I have no qualms about telling friends that I don't have time for a meandering conversation at the moment. With family, I will be a little more gentle and understanding because god only knows how many traits I have that get on their nerves. You can't pick your family and you can't trade them in.

Visceral is the perfect description of the rage generated by this phenomenon. It is not defined by intellect, but rather by emotions. It is completely in step with the increasing isolation created by the convenience culture. The inability to interact with other people sans rehearsal or staging rightfully creates embarrassment on the part of the aggrieved. It is the very reason that they can not be upfront or understanding with the people in their lives.

I would suggest getting over yourselves. These people will be out of your life soon enough. Do you think vindication will be the feeling you experience then?

by Anonymousreply 23105/25/2020

R231 be as verbose as you like, you're still projecting (and incorrect). "The inability to interact with other people sans rehearsal..." Here's the thing, no one said a thing about "inability to interact" - don't infer based on your own inferior skills. Some of us have fantastic interaction skills, but just don't like phone calls. Why is that so hard to understand? It's not a disability or inability - it's a personal preference. Just because someone's doesn't fit yours, doesn't make it wrong.

But, tell yourself whatever you need to feel better!

by Anonymousreply 23205/25/2020

And you know what R232? I agree with you. It is a preference. It is actually my preference. But acting like the imposition of a phone call is akin to slavery just baffles me. Sorry if I subjected you to my ruminations.

by Anonymousreply 23305/25/2020

Nobody is saying it's akin to slavery you hyperbolic moron.

by Anonymousreply 23405/25/2020

Thanks for the recommendation, R227, but my experience with dictation transcription on phones is that I have to correct half the dictated texts anyway, so I just plod along the old-fashioned way.

by Anonymousreply 23505/25/2020

--Nobody is saying it's akin to slavery, you person who says things that aren't supposed to be taken literally

Well now your just arguing with yourself.

by Anonymousreply 23605/25/2020

This

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by Anonymousreply 23706/01/2020

I like a phone call for the drama.

What if Warren Sheffield only liked texing?

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by Anonymousreply 23806/01/2020

[quote]But the fact that you can’t explain why you hate it or why it gets you so mad makes it sound like you don’t know why. And it obviously frustrates you. I would want to know why my buttons were being pushed.

1. People keep telling you—a phone call is an interruption. You seem to be impervious to taking that in.

2. As well, as one person pointed out upthread, the terrible sound quality makes cell phone conversation extremely difficult. You can’t both talk at the same time (unlike with landline phones), which makes conversations stilted and interminable. Nuance is lost. Half the conversation is, why did you say, I didn’t get that?

3. And unless you press speaker (rude as hell), you can’t talk on the phone and do other things with your hands. You have to just hold the fucking thing up. My mother could cook dinner and talk on the phone the whole time, receiver cradled between ear and shoulder.

Cellphones have taken phone communication several steps backwards in many different ways. No wonder people hate phone calls now, and would rather text instead.

Leave a short message at the beep. I'll get back to you, but much quicker if you text.

by Anonymousreply 23906/01/2020

You can’t both talk at the same time (unlike with landline phones) What R239?

What kind of conversations are you on where both parties are speaking at the same time?

by Anonymousreply 24006/01/2020

OP I totally understand. I think it is rude unless people can’t see your number when you call(can they?). I’m in my thirties and I call with my friends and family regularly. I like hearing their voices and texting takes too much time sometimes. I’ve noticed a phonecall can be a lot quicker.

by Anonymousreply 24106/01/2020

For OP: 👇🏽

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by Anonymousreply 24206/02/2020

[quote]You call them, knowing they’re[bold] at home, [/bold]

This place sounds more and more like a senior center. It’s so sad.

by Anonymousreply 24306/02/2020

[quote]OP is probably long winded or a young woman.

Your knee-jerk misogyny is funny, but OP is obviously a 300 year old elder gay. No “young woman” calls people on a landline in 2020. No one under 60 does.

by Anonymousreply 24406/02/2020

This thread is funny AF.

Love it!!!!

by Anonymousreply 24506/02/2020

Hmmm. That was unconvincing. R239. I will stick with what I said earlier. I’m not going to be so pathetic as to repeat myself over and over with nothing new to add.

And what kind of a cheap phone do you have that talking is such a challenge?

by Anonymousreply 24606/02/2020

R239 here. By “talking at the same time” I meant at the beginning and end of each person's turn to talk. The phone cuts out, r240.

You’ve probably never experienced that, as you’re likely the kind of person who drones on and on, never letting your suffering callee a chance to get a word in edgewise.

iPhone 8 and a landline.

You have indeed repeated yourself over and over r246, whining, “but why!? I don’t get it? why won’t anyone take my calls??”

The universe is sending you a message, hon. Open your ears and listen.

by Anonymousreply 24706/02/2020

If I like you, I can talk all day - face to face. No probem! I just don't feel like talking on the phone. Never did. Also, I have an employee/friend who will keep texting/sending videos on WhatsApp. I always respond, but she keeps going on after every response. I have to say "bye - talk to you later!". Only then will she get the clue and say goodbye a few times - along with several more comments, emojis and videos. She is not lonely/isolated or anything - boyfriend, lives with family, a lot of friends. We just have different personalities/ways of communicating.

by Anonymousreply 24806/02/2020

R246 Many people have been honest and/or informative, even you. And the description of your mom making dinner really made that picture complete.

You will be featured prominently.

by Anonymousreply 24906/02/2020

You’re welcome r249.

Let us know if you get that promotion your memo/pitch is for. Happy to help.

by Anonymousreply 25006/02/2020

I think it is sweet how some people brought up memories of their mothers talking on the phone. For some reason that is a vivid image for me as well, although I do not think that my mother was especially devoted to the phone. Maybe it is that for some of us when we were children, there were not that many types of communication devices and they definitely did not have the hold over people they have now.

by Anonymousreply 25106/02/2020

How can you be certain, when you call someone, that they're home? Is Gladys Kravitz peering through their window for you?

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by Anonymousreply 25206/02/2020

Yesterday I thought of this thread when my phone rang - first the landline, and when I didn't answer that, the cell. It was my boomer lady friend who always insists on phoning for any reason when a text will suffice. I was like, NO, I'm doing things, I don't want to stop and chat. Simple as that.

by Anonymousreply 25306/10/2020

Read the thread about being cut out of a will. You've sealed your fate, your more attractive sibling will be getting the house on the Cape, the condo in Manhattan, and the investment portfolio.

by Anonymousreply 25406/11/2020

...but once the banks fold due to their continuing misdeeds, the investment portfolio will be worthless. And nobody wants a condo in Manhattan anymore. But I’d still love the house on the Cape ...

“Just text me”

by Anonymousreply 25506/11/2020
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