The Old Guard (2020 Netflix movie)

Great, now I need Netflix. I fucking have to see that.

You're welcome, R1!

I'm curious how much of a Highlander vibe this will have.

By the way, here's how the gay couple was described on some blog:

[quote] Joe and Nicky are the couple of the group, and their love story hits all the delicious trope buttons, in the best way. I’d read a hundred oneshots just about how they found a home in each other, forever. They started out on opposite sides of the First Crusade, as Nicolo and Yusuf, and when they realised they couldn’t keep each other dead, they moved on together; and eventually they fell in love. When they are caught and trapped, Joe delivers the most heartfelt declaration ever (and those are especially wonderful when the characters are under fire) both to Nicky and the soldiers taunting them. They’ve been together for centuries, Nicky knows. But Joe pulls even fewer punches with his feelings than he does with his fists, and it’s glorious.

Luca Marinelli is smoldering hot with big uncut Italian dong and Matthias Schoenaerts, another sexy Belgian with big uncut Belgian dong!!! What more can I ask??? Oh, Marwan Kenzari has one massive Dutch dong to boast too. It's triple-threat kinda movie.

I love Charlize but this looks terrible

I'm laughing at myself as I type. I spent the entire trailer thinking: 'Where did they get this Charlize Theron knock-off'? I didn't realize it was actually her until the credits. My brain still hasn't caught up to the fact that legit movie stars appear in streaming movies now, thanks to that sweet Nexflix paycheque. Also, totally agree this gives a Highlander vibe.

So, this came out today.

I really liked it, it was what I was expecting: a modern take on Highlander, but with a more interesting (and more diverse) cast of characters. I loved the gay couple, including their corny love declaration, and liked both Andromache and Nile well enough. To be honest, I'm hooked and hope that they will follow up with another movie.

It's certainly not high art, but for a Netflix fantasy-action flick it was quite good.

What did you think?

More boring one-note superhero media. They could stick a million cheesy saccharine gay love stories into it I still wouldn't watch.

Are they actually gay or two straight bros who happened to fall for each other, but are otherwise straight?

R8 There is no such thing as "two straight bros who fall for each other but are otherwise straight". That's not what straight means, dear.

[quote] Are they actually gay or two straight bros who happened to fall for each other, but are otherwise straight?

They are two warriors who fought against each other in the Crusades, until they fell in love with each other. By the time of the movie, they have been a couple for almost a millennium. So, their relationship shows that they care deeply about each other, but it's not exactly a main focus of the story.

Is this the first movie Charlize has done for Netflix??

Charlize is becoming more and more butch the older she gets.

It got pretty positive reviews, turning this on now.

"Comic book movie".....

[bold]YAWN[/bold].

It was a fun little movie. Nothing deeper than a popcorn flick which is fine, it was nice to see a gay couple as part of the main cast.

While it is clear there will be a sequel, I would rather it be a TV series so you could have more time getting to know the characters and their backstory.

Having Charlize lose her immortality makes me wonder what they are going to do with the sequel though, I guess they can always reverse it.

I would not have paid to see it in a theater, but it is perfect Netflix fare. Also watching Home Game - those guys in the first episode are fucking hot.

I know it's meant to be sweet, but after 1000 years they still have that level of inseparable puppy dog love?

Girl, no matter how much you love each other you are sometimes going to get sick of each other.

It's a fun movie, but the girl playing Nile is terrible. Don't forget, not only is there a gay couple, but a lesbian couple too! I prefer, "Atomic Blonde" to this, where Charlize plays lesbian as well. Is there any other actress who can play kick ass and serious roles as well? NOT Scarlett Johanssen.

I liked the girl playing Nile in "If Beale Street Could Talk", so I was surprised she was so flat here r18. I do think she was at least belieavable in the action scenes and seemed "tough" which was nice.

But yes, especially next to Charlize who is such a powerhouse her acting seemed very limited.

Of course, really Charlize acted circles around the entire rest of the cast.

Yes, Nile's action scenes were believable r19, even her introductory scene. I think Charlize fully commits herself into every role, even if it's a drecky movie like Snow White.

Big hit for Netflix

I enjoyed it. I don't usually watch these things closely but this one held my attention and was violent and entertaining.

I quite liked it. It felt like it was a nice spin on the old traditional action flick. Female lead, gay supporting characters mixed in with all the old elements of exploding stuff, guns, fights, car chases, skyscraper fall, killing lots and lots of henchmen, action scenes on various locations of the world, etc.

Overly PC crap like that is annoying.

R24 = Laura Ingraham

I went into this cold, not knowing anything about the story or characters - I didn't even watch the trailer, so I was pleasantly surprised by it. It's definitely a popcorn flick, but very entertaining enough and I like the world-building that it does. Matthias Schoenaerts is hot, the gay couple are nice, decent action. I'd definitely love to see a sequel.

r24= Having characters that aren't straight white men is stupid PC crap!!!! Only straight white guys are acceptable godammit!

This movie didn't even try to be preachy, it just happened to have heroes who weren't part of that group.

The love declaration of Joe and Nicky was touching. It was well done. Maybe Netflix could make a prequel about their story during the crusades. All in all it was a nice cast even though the plot could’ve been better

Harry Melling as the villain is pretty text book, but the first thing I ever really took notice of him in was "The Ballad of Buster Scruggs" in the segment "Meal Ticket". He is truly talented and I wish he would get better opportunities to show it off.

R29 He was the fat cousin(Dudley) in all the Harry Potter movies. His story in Buster Scruggs was heartbreaking.

I really liked it. I wish it was a series, though. I'd like to see the adventures of the gay and lesbian couple through the centuries / millennia.

The hook of the team being immortal was the only interesting thing about the movie to me. Other than that, you knew exactly how it would end once the (stereotypical) villain had been introduced -- just like every other superhero movie ever made because they are all the same. It would have been much more interesting (again, to me) if the 85% of the movie had been the immortals' back stories and the remaining 15% some save-the-world blah-de-blah.

Have you noticed that whenever Charlize does an ass kicking role, she's almost always lesbian? I wonder if it's because she thinks it debases her badassness if she "submits" to a man?

It was alright. My biggest question is what happens if they are decapitated or lose a limb.

Has Charlize become a Lesbytarian in real life?

[Quote]My biggest question is what happens if they are decapitated or lose a limb.

Presumably the same thing that happens when they are pumped full of bullets. They regenerate.

They survived burning so they probably survived being blown out by a bomb, I guess.

I saw it tonight with the Christmas Moose. He got scared, as usual, so I had to send him in to the other room while I watched the rest of it. I thought it was good fun.

Any kissing, full frontal, making out?

Just what the world needs: more comic book entertainment.

I hear ya. But if its hot and gay I'd watch. I'm not entirely against mindless entertainment. I'm so tired of watching straight sex scenes.

This was okay; will there be a 2? Or will they make it a series, ala highlander?

There's supposed to be a sequel, but Charlize likes taking breaks between action movies, as she does a lot of her own stunts. I'd rather see an, "Atomic Blonde" sequel before this one.

R12 are we mad at that?