Let's be the Harry and Meghan desk at the Daily Mail

I'm the huge mounds death-threat mail sent in from Megstans. I'm piling up in the corners because no one wants to touch me long enough to open me. Can't be too careful, after all - the crazy may be contagious!

It's " mounds of death- threat" not " mounds death threat". Does your troll farm supervisor not check your work before you post?

It's more than 1 desk and we are cackling as we churn out the stories.

Omg, did anyone ask if she's okay? Not just surviving, but thriving.

I'm the Megstan sender of one of those the death-threats at r2. I don't know what a sub-editor does. (But if I did, I send the sub's desk some death-threats too, for daring to edit the stories!)

I'm the intern tasked with digging up embarrassing photos of her. My job is so easy! It practically does itself!

The H&M desk is often mistaken for the building’s trash dumpster—you know, because of what we do.

I'm the cub reporter who has to respond to emails every week from another one of Meghan's mystery "friends".

I have to pretend like I don't know they work for Sunshine Sachs/ is Meghan herself as I'm told, again, what a wonderful, humanitarian, earth-changing dynamo Meghan is, and what her latest feelings are this week on how no one ever asks her if she's ok.

I'm always contacted just in time for my story to appear in print at exactly the same day and hour as Kate's latest charity visit is happening.

I'm the vault in which are locked Meghan's sex tape and a host of other embarrassing materiel scheduled to be time-released just when Meghan thinks it's safe to come out and start grandstanding again about making a difference whilst reminding the world that her husband son have "royal blood".

We're the Mail on Sunday lawyers defending against the Harkles, very very quietly waiting, tick tock....

R10, “tick tock, tick tock”...

This post dedicated to those a narcissist attempted to destroy. So many of us.....

I'm Jan Moir - I write twice as well as that numpty fuckwit, Piers Morgan, why do his rants about the Sussexes always get more column space than mine?

See, I know how to keep it funny, so you won't catch me making any noise about going too far . . .

I'm the editorial meeting drawing up two possible headlines on the eve of the lawsuit judgement being handed down. One says, 'MEGHAN WINS CASE!" whilst the other says, "MEGHAN LOSES CASE!

If it's the former, we plan to drop one week later the worst info we've dug up on her that we've been holding onto for three years, including proofs. Shame about the legal fees, but we'll make it back in clicks when that story drops . . .

If it's the latter, we open the case of champagne on ice in the boardroom, have the entire staff in, and to the sound of popping corks, begin singing "Who's sorry now?"

End-year bonuses will be upped thanks to the £1 million+ legal costs that will be flowing back into our coffers . . .

We'll hold onto that massively damaging info for use if the bitch fucks with us again.

Meghan walked around the Queen's Garden Party having a farting Contest with Camilla...and Meghan won.

My name's Piers, I once fancied myself Addison DeWitt to Meghan's Eve Harrington. She was going to BELONG to me, but she ghosted me so I used my very powerful column to take pokes at her. Then with Covid, I decided I would be a "serious" reporter and got lots of attention for that. Once the pandemic is over and everyone is bored with talking about it, should I go back to being a venomous fishwife?

I'm the money "angel".

I'm actually Prince Charles, but you're not supposed to know that.

^*Apologies - that was meant to go into the "Let's Be the Harry and Meghan Musical" thread . . . I hit "Let's Be" too quickly.

R16

[quote] the £1 million+ legal costs

Is that really the amount that will be owed by MM should the case go in favor of the DM?

The suit Diana brought against The MIRROR over those gym photos ran well into the seven figures, and that was 25 years ago. The Mirror settled, but had to pay Diana's legal fees. Any damages awarded went to a charity.

So, yes, £1 million+ legal costs on BOTH sides is likely if Meghan refuses either to withdraw the suit or the Mail refuses to settle, which, so far it has.

Consider that the legal fees just for the pretrial hearing in April set back EACH side about £60,000 (which means the Sussexes had to pay £120,000, because the court ruled against the Sussexes - hence Harry's hasty sale of his Purdy hunting rifles, which he inherited, for £60,000), and all the hours of research by lower downs, conferences, conference calls, preparation and submission of court papers, all billed out at the top fees these barristers command. When you really look at it, it's not hard to see how it mounts up.

The Sussexes clearly assumed they'd win it all right down the line, and get their legal fees back. With the pretrial hearing going completely against them, perhaps their assumptions have changed to hopes.

The winning party doesn’t recover full legal fees. It’s usually a schedule of fees.

R20 - Whatever that schedule turns out to be, it will hurt the Sussexes far more than it would Associated Papers. Or, rather, it will hurt Prince Charles far more than it will hurt Associated Papers.

I can't believe that Charles would pay for their legal fees.

Or that Camilla would let him.

Or that his mother would think that was a good idea.

When the suit was announced the Harkles were all phony coy as usual saying that a "private party" is footing the bill. I suppose Charles is a private party, but at the time a likely suspect was Hugh Grant, who is believed to fund Byline Investigates, a fount of info pertaining to the lawsuit....which hasn't been the bearer of as much good news as he might have wished.

R22 - Charles is an idiot. He let the boy marry a woman with Opportunist Grifter practically stamped on her forehead, didn't he? He let the taxpayer in for £30 million in expenses even though he and everyone else in the BRF could see the red flags all over this union, didn't he? He married a woman totally unsuited to his temperament who as soon as the engagement was announced began to exhibit nearly uncontrollable narcissistic needs, didn't he - and then let his son marry a woman cut from the same bolt of cloth, didn't he? His son embarrassed the family, kicked it in the teeth, and betrayed his military past, his nation, and his Sovereign, yet Charles is still supporting the two ingrates with several million a year, isn't he?

What makes you think Charles will let Harry dilute his trust fund to pay bills that Harry himself agreed to let his bitch of a wife stick them all with? The trust fund that is Harry's only real source of independent income, marginal as it is compared to that of people who really ARE rich, instead of people whose connection have allowed them to LIVE rich?

Camilla, of course, is another story. But she has to tread carefully, too - it probably isn't worth her relationship with Charles to tell him to deal out some tough love to the boy at last, finally, so that Harry can finally grow the fuck up, and stop being rewarded for being a petulant, whingeing twat.

I'm the Saturation Counter on the Editor in Chief's desk, checked daily to make sure the paper doesn't exceed the public's appetite for more on the Sussex Saga.

Obviously, I'm still showing not even close to the Red Alert stripe in the 12 o'clock position.

Does anyone still care about these 2? What's the obsession with making MORE threads about them?

Even more interesting is the obsession with graying out threads about any royal family.

Threads about the two of them proliferate because millions of people find their behavior - the endless misjudgements, the tacky grifting, the self-serving faux grievances and their frequent ridiculous pronouncements - entertaining, if seldom in ways that benefit them.

I'm the staff, packing my meager possessions into a banker's box which I'll put in the trunk of my Chevy when I go to file for unemployment.