My Friend with Benefits asked for money!

What is his regular job? Do you think he is truly in a bad spot? If he's nice, I'd do it, also. Why not - if you can afford it.

You could just give him money without exchanging it for anything, if you are friends and you care about him (and you want to and can afford it, obviously).

OP if a friend without benefits asked you for financial help would you give it? Just look at it the same way, the fact that you are having occasional sex shouldn't be a factor.

Either give him the money with no strings or not.

But, making him have sex for it at this point is distasteful.

Nope. If the relationship didnt start out that way I see no reason why you would feel compelled to change it . Sorry hes having financial issues ,but you do not want to open that can of worms. besides ,doesnt it sort of tell you he really thought he was doing you a favor by having sex ?

Well you only hook up a couple of times a year. Do you do anything else? Are you really friends or gym tricks? Are you really loaning money to a "friend" or is the guy going through his little black book? If he's really a friend and you see him more than for just a fuck a couple of times a year, then yes I'd give him some money that you could afford to give him. If it's only a fuck twice a year then I'd examine what you're calling friendships.

so you are asking for sex because he has asked for financial help?

well, I don't know why you think he is the one who made the situation complicated here, do you always expect some sort of return if someone (friend or not) asks for your help?

After we had broken up ( I did the breaking up) but remained friends, my ex fell on hard times ( he did recover) but in the interim also asked me for money. I gave him money with stipulations. He had to work it off having sex (no strings) and it was all about what I wanted to do and my pleasure. Rather he got off or not was not my concern. We had a blast with it ! ( or I did) Then he got a job.

There seems to be a direct correlation between veracity and length of the original post. This never happened....at least not the way OP says. If it is true, OP is worse than Hitler.

Though it’s an interesting subject for discussion, and it helps to root out sociopaths on DL.

If you're really friends its just doing him favor.

[quote]After we had broken up ( I did the breaking up) but remained friends, my ex fell on hard times ( he did recover) but in the interim also asked me for money. I gave him money with stipulations. He had to work it off having sex (no strings) and it was all about what I wanted to do and my pleasure. Rather he got off or not was not my concern. We had a blast with it ! ( or I did)

Every once in a while, a DLer hits a new low.

Honey, congratulations. You're the new baseline against which all future lowlife behavior should be compared..."yes, you murdered the children and drowned the kittens, but did you make an ex have sex in order to loan him some money and tell people he had a blast?"

I suppose you could give him your stimulus check.

No great loss.

Thoughts and prayers.

Give him money and he becomes your whore, and not your friend.

Leave an envelope containing $300 addressed to your friend for pickup from your doorman and make yourself unavailable to his visit for the evening. No quid pro quo.

When you two connect by phone, explain that neither of you should ever be made to feel like a trick or a john in the course of your friendship, nor do you deserve those labels.

[quote] After we had broken up ( I did the breaking up) but remained friends, my ex fell on hard times ( he did recover) but in the interim also asked me for money. I gave him money with stipulations. He had to work it off having sex (no strings) and it was all about what I wanted to do and my pleasure. Rather he got off or not was not my concern. We had a blast with it ! ( or I did)

[quote] Every once in a while, a DLer hits a new low.

In constructing ridiculous scenarios? I quite agree.

Time to find a new sex buddy, OP. Or even a relationship!

Asking for money is one thing. A friend might do that. Asking if you "could be generous" is whore talk.

All of us have "paid" for sex in some sense at some point whether with money, regret, a sense of obligation, listening to an interminably long story, in endless ways...but having a "friend" ask you to be generous tells you what the friend thinks of you.

Using the word "generous" shows he is desperate. View him as a friend and loan him the money. And make it clear the loan is an act of friendship and that you don't expect anything in return,

R9. Good God you are cynical. It is true, it happened today. We are sex buddies at best. He has never been to my place. We have never met for dinner or a movie. We never talk on the phone to shoot the breeze. We have sex at his place. In the past I have always brought a nice bottle of wine or Thai food or gifts for his cat when I visit. One of us texts the other after a few months to say hi and then a few back and forth niceties and then set up a time to meet. Never been an issue asking for money. I like him, but he is not really a friend. I will give him money by Zelle this week way before I see him. I just don't want to be roped in when I know he has a sister who is an MD and he has others closer to him than me. I hope this was not too lengthy a response.

R11 THANK YOU! A new DL low is quite the compliment! I'm blushing!

A new low R11?

How long have you been at DL?

Oh, it happens. I have hours of video for my private collection of a friend. Filmed during a little something we called "Naked Game Night."

HOURS.

R22 Don't you dare denigrate my new rise to 'most low!'

You sound cheap OP. You want the sex, but just don't want to have to pay for it now.

Amazon is hiring, every grocery store in my town is hiring. I see lots of restaurants hiring.

r8, are you the one who degraded an ex-porn whore for $100 on another thread?

R27 Absolutely not! What thread was this?

Gifts for his cat?

[quote] Amazon is hiring, every grocery store in my town is hiring. I see lots of restaurants hiring.

This reminds me of the guy with the Go Fund Me in California. I know his thread was deleted but I wonder if he ever got a job.

No dear r30 became. Chaturbate whore and post thread on dl to beg for coin.

No dear r30 became. Chaturbate whore and post thread on dl to beg for coin.

I meant he became a chaturbate whore.

[quote] I see on occasion a very nice guy in his early 30s (I'm in my 50s)

[quote] He ... asked if I could be generous because he hasn't been working regularly lately.

[quote] I have never paid for sex in cash and it has never been a part of our friendship

Am I missing something? It sounds like OP has been paying FWB (Friend with Benefits) in gifts. FWB now wants straight cash. I would *not* loan/lend FWB any money. He will not pay it back.

He's a whore, darling.

Tell him you can't be generous, but you can take him to the McDonald's drive through.

You're giving him some money now, but not seeing him for sex for some time to come.

I don't think the two things are related, so just be generous and give him some money, and then when things clear up with the corona, have your sex again.

He's not a friend with benefits.

More a friend with invoices than a friend with benefits

Fork over your stimulus check, cheap bitch

You're a john, OP.

I had a FB with a medium-sized dog like a shiba-inu, and when I "visited" I brought her (the dog, not the FB) a chew or bone to keep her entertained while I was. It was self-serving, and I hang my head in shame.

OP Now is the time to check the Chaterbate channels! If he's on there he legit really needs the money and I'd help him out. Then suggest he get a second job at Whole Foods or Amazon.

exactly r43. A lot of dudes today are not ashamed to ask for money if they give you some. Thats the onlyfans hoe culture rubbing off on them.

Fucking sucker.

Depends on how he asked you OP. If he said "$100 per hour", then ..

Give him the money but STOP sleeping with him.

OP, you didn't really think that 30 year old actually enjoyed having sex with a 50 year old fart like you, now did you? LOL !

I say if you can afford to be "generous" and you want to help him out then do it. But make it clear that it's a one time thing and not to expect anything more, regardless of your relationship. Sometimes people just need a little help to get through a tough time and that's all. He's probably embarrassed to even ask you but he might not have any other options right now.

I once gave a co-worker $2000 because she was in an abusive relationship and needed to move into her own place to get away from him. She didn't ask for it I just gave it to her because I had it and she needed it. I know she won't ever be able to pay me back and I don't care. It made me feel good.

[quote] besides ,doesnt it sort of tell you he really thought he was doing you a favor by having sex ?

I'm not OP but I'd have to say no. If in three years of friendship and casual sex, he never asked for money, then it's pretty obvious he didn't feel he was doing him a favor.

Yeah, generous with this DICK!

That's what I'd say.

In my head.

OP You said you would meet when things were safer. That gives you the convenience of time and safety determination. Don't sweat it. By the time you determine your ready just make sure he's on his feet again. Problem solved.

He wised up I say. No free sex anymore old uncle bottom lol

How many times a year do you meet? Add up the multiple tricks, now. Is this guy worth that? Probably not. Do you use other whores? Seem like no. So do you want to start being a guy who pays for sex? Yes or no? Divorce your decision from this guy's current financial need. If the answer is - I don't want to start paying for sex, then why would you break that decision for a fuck buddy. It sounds to me that you have to figure out how to get the sex and intimacy you want, going forward. As you age, if you are still fucking guys 2 DECADES or more younger than you, they are going to be whores because that is the new normal.

If the guy is hot (he IS young enough to be your son OP), you sound like you can afford it = so give him $150. That is approx half of a professional escorts fee.

I’m 43, and if I’m fucking a nice piece of ass (half my age), and asked for money and have it = Sure ! Why? Because I at times relied on the kindness of older gentlemen when I was their age so it’s good karma coming around. And also feel fortunate that you have been lucky to have his hot young cock for free the past couple years.

OP are u the top or bottom?

That means you're the ugly one, OP.

[QUOTE] By the time you determine your ready just make sure he's on his feet again.

Oh, DEAR.

Also the headline of this thread is misleading. This guy was your fuckbuddy not your "Friend with Benefits".

These are hard times. If you can help out, why not?

[quote]This guy was your fuckbuddy not your "Friend with Benefits".

What's the difference?

"UNITY" rhymes with "COMMUNITY."

OP If you are managing well financial in this crisis, are can afford to help it out a bit, why would you not consider helping him out? Regardless of whether he's a fuck buddy or a friend with benefits, it's about empathy and helping a friend out when he needs it. Give what you feel comfortable giving.

Friends with Benefits = An actual FRIEND that you also have occasional sex with.

A Fuck Buddy = there is no friendship, meals together, watching tv, or gifts exchanged.

Aha , OP you complicated things by bringing gifts for the cat in my opinion. You crossed the line into “friend territory” a little bit. Also, u know his sisters profession. A fuck buddy is strictly just fucking.

OP - your "friend" says he isn't working regularly. I disagree -- we all know what his job is. After 3 years of free samples, he's now adding you to his list of paying customers.

A benefit is something you RECEIVE, not GIVE away.

"Give a Man a Fish, and You Feed Him for a Day. Teach a Man To Fish, and You Feed Him for a Lifetime."

Instead of giving your idiotic fuck buddy blow jobs, why not teach him some basic life skills, like saving money for a rainy day.

How can a 30-something single man not have any savings? And why isn't he trying to collect unemployment?

[quote]How can a 30-something single man not have any savings? And why isn't he trying to collect unemployment?

One imagines it's because he didn't have a nagging, judgmental cunt like you for a mother.

What's the weather like in Loserville today, R67..

Let me guess: you're a 30 something broke ass basic bitch, and blaming everybody but yourself for your "predicament."

OP here. Good morning. I am not a close friend and the sex is from time to time, when it happens. I will help, but won't tie it to sex. R34 thinks I have been paying all along, but that's not the case.

OP, that is the right thing to do. If you can afford it, help your friend within your means. As for sex - it's out of the equation altogether.

I have had friends ask for money, I never expect it back even though they say they will pay me back. Just expect you will never get paid back and be okay with that. Tell him ahead of time you will be happy to loan him money but it has nothing to do with the sex. The fact he is asking you to be generous suggests he would not have sex with you otherwise??

[quote] Let me guess: you're a 30 something broke ass basic bitch, and blaming everybody but yourself for your "predicament."

I'm not R67 but I'll answer you on his behalf. No, he's just like the majority of Americans who live paycheck to paycheck because we simply can't afford to save no matter how hard we try.

OP here for the final time. I agree that asking for me to be generous is now connecting sex for money. I am going to give him some $, but won't have sex anymore. I have not paid for sex but wouldn't rule it out down the road someday, but it has to be my choice to do so. Down the road is still a bit far away for me.

Good for you. Now that you have defined your ethics - not to have sex. I think you should consider fucking him so he does't feel bad - he probably wants to pay you for his kindness and your refusal to be gracious will reflect badly on you, as well.

You invite him up and give him some money and grandly state there are no sexual services required nor accepted. Then you offer him a cocktail. Tell some stories about your grand philanthropy. Keep serving him drinks. If he then makes a move on you, you fawn, "oh, my dear, if you really insist, I'd be delighted, how could I resist your charms!"

[quote] I think you should consider fucking him so he does't feel bad - he probably wants to pay you for his kindness and your refusal to be gracious will reflect badly on you, as well.

Best way to thank the generous man is to give sex. Poosey is natural thank you maker.

I wish there were more people like you, R49. Something tells me this is one of the few times, if any, in which you've shared that episode. You are a good person and a hero.

OP here for the upteenth time, sigh. I wish I had money to hand out, I still rent myself. He has never once been to my apartment, I go to his. I have invited him, but he prefers to host at his place. Like I mentioned before, we do not chat on the phone as friends, but get together for sex every now and then. I do not have a very close feeling to this guy, except he is friendly and good in the sack when we are together. We don't even chit chat if we see one another at the gym, we say hi and keep it moving, but that has always been ok with both of us.

The more your relate, the more he seems like he's decided to be a whore and you are on the list. So I would 1) give him money and enjoy the sex. Maybe you will like it and repeat again - money and sex. You already sort of agreed so just go with it. You can say no for the next time if it wasn't for you. How much are you going to give him? I would give him 200 bucks.

R78 OP - I thought you are more friendlier than that - if the relationship is that superficial then you should no if you don't have money to throw around

And if you lose him as a FB, then so be it.

Why do I have the feeling all this advice will fall on deaf ears? The OP will give him money and then fuck him, or fuck him and then give him money.

OP, did he literally ask you to be "generous"?

Maybe he needs to eat in the time of Corona. If you cared you wouldn't want him dead or on the street, op.

I am not the OP but that is the word young people use on olds like me (57) and unsolicited! Like "hey you look nice --can u generous?" And 2 young fuckbuddies used that word when I was in my late 40s so it been around awhile. I was worth doing for free for over a year, and then I wasn't.

OP here again. He literally asked if I could be generous the next time we meet because he needs money. He knows I work full time and that I have a steady income.

I am arranging the money and will get it to him on Wednesday, but won't have sex this week and see if he asks for more when we do, which would be a no go for me. I am waiting until COVID restrictions get better to meet up.

I date others from time to time and will be ok if I don't have sex with him again.

If I were to spend money for sex, I would want to hire based on my fantasies. I have no issues with that, just haven't done it yet.

Lots of people turning to sex work to survive. 25% unemployment rate projected.

It's got to be 1/3 among the young, male, unskilled now, no? With the built in invisible 10%-15% whom they stopped counting years ago?

Young or old, if a fuck buddy smells money, there is no shame in asking. These are the days of our lives.

Well it’s kind of depressing to read OP is also hard up.

Just give him some money, don't expect to be paid back, and continue on as before.

(You're not getting any younger and neither is he. Maybe he will learn from your example and pay it forward some day.)

"I am not the OP but that is the word young people use on olds like me (57) and unsolicited! Like "hey you look nice --can u generous?"

I'm in my 60's and was only asked once and said, sorry I'm strapped I can't. Never heard from him again, which just goes to show how devoted to me he was and how stupid I would have been to give him a cent.

R90 If the sex is good and the old guy Isn’t poor or stingy like you, what’s the harm?

OP If ya'll don't talk at the gym and sort of ignore it each other how did it come to pass that you hooked up and back at his place?

OP is a stuck up bitch. He needs to give this guy money. He had fun with younger guy for free. Now his help is needed.

Wow this has turned into a touchy subject with many points of view. Three months ago most of you guys would have said to OP to run and never look back or even "punch and delete". I'm 52 and get hit up on the apps all the time by guys asking "are you gen?" I never respond and find it kind of insulting. The insinuation is that cause I'm over 50 I can't find sex unless I pay for it which is not the case at all. But reading what everyone has to say here has made me possibly start to rethink that philosophy. I'm confused in this new age of Covid-19. Help!

R93 sounds like he needs therapy. Either that or he is my Friend with Benefits who now needs money.

LOL! R95, OP Your right! It does sound like it would be your paramour posting that!

Not OP, but in the same age range. I too have had many guys in their 30s offering to hook up on Grindr, and yes sometimes they do bring up the subject of asking me to be "gen". I usually ask them what is the amount they are looking for and they usually don't have any idea. These are not professionals for the most part, just struggling a bit for cash and imagining that older guys do have more disposable cash, which is often the case. There was no Grindr when I was 30 or 40 so I don't know if I would have been as bold, but I don't begrudge them and I don't find it insulting at all.

I'm 51 in great shape and am told I'm handsome ( in the young Robert Redford classic sense, not the Charles Bronson sense) anyway, I digress. Point is, I get hit up by 20 and 30 yr olds on SCRUFF all the time and have engaged them. I have never been asked for generosity. If I want to pay, I'll go on RENTMAN and get me a roided out, all man, naturally masc straight guy! If they ask you to be generous on an app hook up, tell them to fuck off! That's fuckin rude.

[r98] it’s www.rentmen.com

Not RENTMAN

And one doesn’t hire an escort because “one has no other choice”. That’s an outdated cliche. These days, you hire / rent because of convenience, you want to quickly set up a pnp rendezvous, you don’t want waste 2 hrs scrolling thru the irritating apps, or you want something very specific etc.

R99 I totally agree. I was just saying , if I'm going to be 'generous' (which I have before on business trips). It's gonna be stunner! Not some near-do-well waif on a hookup site over judging his appeal quotient. It's also conniving to feign interest in someone on an app just to lure them into a pay scheme. I have seen where some have dollar signs on their tag lines so there's no confusion.

Ne'er-do-well

The fact I fucked up the spelling shows I'm not near the gramps you are.

So, R8, you turned your desperate ex into a rent boy.... Hope for his sake your sexual tastes aren't sadistic or disgusting.

And remember...what goes around, comes around. Next time it could be you.

I have a college fuckbuddy I give taxi money to - and it's literally taxi money. He's poor and from the sticks. It's no skin off my nose is I give him a little extra.

.. if I ..

R98 is that DL stereotype who had to show up in this thread. Luv ya, hun!

Does he have a big dong?

Reading all of the posts I have come up with my own conclusion: those who aren't uptight with money tend to enjoy life/sex a bit more. If you are older and can afford to be "gen" give it a try, you might like the experience, or not...but at least you will have something to post about.

R106 Thanks Miss Thang ! LUV YA MORE!

I'm in my 60's, never had to pay and still get tons of action with great looking guys all the time, plus I have to turn down many others because I just don't have the energy to be frank. Fuck generous.

R110 who could resist you!?

See below

With your age difference, he's a fuckbuddy not a FWB.

R103 I found a video of him on our joint computer fuckin a friend of ours in our bed on a weekend I was out of town. I ran across it when looking for an old house inspection bill. He over estimated his burying abilities. Much like you overestimate your self righteous, mealy mouth attempt at my emotional bending. Your outta your league with me kid. What he got was his own 'comes around' ! And another thing, I will never be me, It already was.

He's not a friend with benefits, he's a gigolo.

If you start handing out cash, he'll keep on asking for more.

Don't be a desperate fool.

R114 is craycray

The only thing that screams desperation louder than fifty something year old with a thirty something year old requesting cash is a sixty something year old with a twenty something year old requesting cash.

Is this the man you're going to morph into?

R116 Has been blessed with incredible powers instinct rivaling that of even Sylvia Browne. R114

R114 is really quite the craycray burrito.

R108 has a clear and sensible perspective on this matter

He is probably getting paid by other people (you don’t see him much). He may even have tricks who are better than you but still pay. He’s thinking enough with the pet toys.

Pay up and make sure it is not a loan.

R119 You flatter me. What's your number?

I 💘 You, r122 !

I love you mooooore R123!

Just give him $75,000 that should hold him over but don't expect it back.

R125. sure Rose

You get what you pay for.

your free trial is over, it is time to pay to play... you are just another customer and he uses this technique with every single one of them... he would have asked you to be generous even if the corona crisis had NOT happened...

"look at my hopes, look at my dreams, The currency we've spent, I love you, you pay my rent"

Give him money but stop having sex with him. If you find a way for him to give you other services, even better. The relationship changes.

Maybe they think the OP is stupid.

Let's be honest, the only way most old farts are going to get any sex from a young guy is by paying for it or sticking to someone their own age.

OP here. This is a long ago thread it seems. I have not seen him since the request and have no plans to. He is still around and he texts from time to time but I lost interest in seeing him. I have since found another FWB who is 30, who is not asking for money and is quite fun to boot.

[quote] I have since found another FWB who is 30, who is not asking for money

Isn't that how your first one started? See R128.

[quote] He said ok and then asked if I could be generous

Coded whore talk. You should have said "sure, I'll take you out to Burger King, my treat".

Pretty soon one of you qweens will be writing Jussie a check when he no longer can find work.

Your money's on the dresser, Chocolate.

R133 Give it time....