What's the most constipated you're ever been and how did it end?

This sounds like some "Dear Penthouse" story for the scat set

[quote]What's the most constipated you're ever been and how did it end?

1. Very.

2. With a shit.

Not-so-stealth scat post

I lost it at "pushed out a cookie dough roll."

I resumed reading and then didn't get very far when I reached "I made little yelping noises" and lost it again.

God bless you OP.

[quote]how did it end?

With tears.

Anal tears.

A few years ago, I ate too many fried foods and was severely constipated. Bobby Brown came over and worked it out.

BLESS YOU!

I can't remember what I ate that may have constipated me, but I was under a lot of stress at work at the time so maybe that was the cause. Anyhow, I was in agony, I could barely walk. I called my best mate and had him drop off enemas. About 30 minutes after insertion, I was on the toilet, both arms outstretched bracing myself between the walls, pushing so hard I thought maybe I was having some miraculous ass baby. As my hole stretched and I felt like I was about to pass out, this massive lump of shit, as round and firm as a cricket ball, exploded out of me and I felt the water in the bowl splash against my ass. My whole body sagged forward and I actually wept tears of pain and relief.

about 3 days, I was in college and wasn’t regular. When I finally had a BM it came out like a huge summer squash, causing a fissure on my anus that bled for days. It took me about 25 minutes to pass it, and it was terribly painful because it was sitting in my rectum but my anus wasn’t stretching wide enough to release it. At one point it was half in and half out and wasn’t moving further, it was awful and I almost cried out for someone to help me. But what could anyone do? Finally it passed, along with some blood from the fissure. Required almost no wiping, of course, because it was a rock-hard dry object, although I had to wipe the blood. I went to my bed for about an hour to relax myself because I felt almost as if I had surgery with no anesthesia. It never happened again.

ps- it wouldn’t flush right away. It was too big and it was trying to go down sideways. I had to put my hand in the water and point the tip downwards for it to go down.

Do r8 and r9 write scat erotica in their spare time?

I was thinking the same thing R10

[quote]I called my best mate and had him drop off enemas.

This is BEYOND bizarre.

[quote]I had to put my hand in the water and point the tip downwards for it to go down.

And this is BEYOND disgusting.

Keep the stories coming girls!

Is OP Danny Thomas?

It went bad, I exploded. Half of the block was devastated.

I quit smoking and coffee at the same time. I went days without going. I finally broke down and went and purchased a fleet enema. It was tricky to administer to myself but I managed to do it. Eventually I felt relief.

When I was a kid I went away to summer baseball camp at a University. I knew nothing about proper hydration and nutrition. It was summertime and so hot. We were outside sweating all day long losing fluids. I was dehydrated and became constipated and in such pain. Nothing would come out! But I was so young I didn’t understand what was happening and what to do. I guess eventually it worked out.

If you're constipated for a long time, the shit can go to your head and you die.

How did it end? I died on the toilet.

Me: "Buddy, you got to help me out. It's an emergency!"

Buddy: "Sure! You ok? Are you alright?"

Me: "Yeah, but I need you to bring me some enemas from the drugstore to work. Like now."

Buddy: "What (laughing hysterically), that is SO not happening."

Anytime I go skiing and stay at over 1800 meters I get constipated. Sometimes nothing helps except going down to the valley for a day.

R10 I never heard of scat erotica but if R8 and R9 are examples, I want to read more! A good dump is as satisfying as good sex.

Well, since you asked.....and this story should shut down this thread. About 20 years ago I had to get surgery for a thrombosed hemorrhoid (look it up). The recovery is excruciating so the doctor (stupidly) prescribed Darvocet. Narcotics like this can completely stop the muscle contractions needed for proper bowel movements. So while I needed to go to the bathroom, the necessary involuntary muscle contractions were non-existent and the fecal matter was getting backed and ripping open my incision. It was beyond excruciating to have a bowl movement, it was a bloody mess. So I'd hold back in pain, creating a viscous circle and making myself more constipated. It actually got quite serious with and infection and the inability go. Time, Ciprofloxacin, stool softeners and screams of agony helped easy the symptoms after a couple weeks. I just laugh at any bitch that tells me nothing is more painful than childbirth.

When my constipation ended, I could feel my eyeballs sink inside my skull a bit.

[quote]Sometimes nothing helps except going down to the valley for a day.

R19 This sounds like a wonderful sexual euphemism for rimming. Thank you!

So, OP is just a terrible bottom that can’t take a cookie dough sized log, noted.

So, OP is just a terrible bottom that can’t take a cookie dough sized log, noted.

I’m whistling past the colon cancer monster in these threads.

After 3 or 4 days of nothing, I sat on the toilet and pushed...nothing happened. I decided to put a finger in and explore. I found a hard lump right inside, I tried to turn it or get it moving - nothing. I took my finger out, it was bloody. Eventually is started to come out, it took a while and I was exhausted afterwards. I cleaned the area and put some Prep. H around my sore hole. I'm taking various medications and I guess it was some combination of things that caused the trouble. All I could think about was when I was a kid and my great grand mother, who was getting dementia, described to my mom her trouble with pooping earlier and that she had to "put a finger in the rear" to dislodge the trouble. Thanks GGma.

Once after eating a sirloin steak and 8 ounces of extra sharp cheddar cheese I didn’t have a bowel movement for three days.

I tried stool softeners to no avail but only got partial relief from a suppository. Even then it was very painful and time-consuming.

I had to do Lamaze breathing as if I were giving birth.

I started chemotherapy and the doctor told me to remain hydrated because fecal matter is full of bacteria and chemo wipes out your immune system. I tried to drink as much water as possible but it didn’t help. What made it worse was the fact that I was allergic to the Velcade so they gave me a steroid to offset that, and that made me ravenously hungry. A week, fellas, a week. Ten years later I can still recall the feeling immediately afterwards. I felt light enough to float.

Try taking 3 pills of antibacterials per day over 7 weeks to kill the bad bugs in my prostate. Thats a lotta pills. It took another month before my gut was back to normal.

While taking the pills, I used the bidet to run water up my ass like an enema. For the scat freaks, it came out of my ass like brown acorns.

I forgot to mention that there WAS an endorphin rush when it finally released

TMI. You people are savage animals.

When I was in the Air Force I got incredibly constipated and had to go to the infirmary because I hadn't gone to the bathroomin 4 or 5 days. I wound up getting three 2,000 ml enemas in less than an hour, administered by a majorly hot corpsman. I was on my side and he'd occasionally massage my lower abdomen, and the back of his hand brushed against my cock a few times. Had I not been in so much discomfort I might have even enjoyed it.

I quit smoking and for over a week no bowel movement. I was staying in a hotel in Bangkok and finally had a dump. he turd so big it wouldn't go down. Finally had to break it up with a clothes hanger. This went on for over two months until my body got used to not smoking.

Constipation is no joke. I'm disabled with severe arthritis and spine problems. So my case is really not likely to happen to anyone else to this extent.

Last summer I suddenly could not pass any stool. I felt it there like it was near the opening but I could not push it out. I pushed hard enough to cause blood to appear on the toilet paper, I thought I was tearing something I pushed so had for 4 days. On the fifth day I could not pass urine. Somehow the impacted stool blocked any urine from passing too. I went to the ER. I was doubled over in pain that I could not even get down to a car service so I called an ambulance. I can only walk with a walker. The EMT guys would not allow me to take my walker in the ambulance, saying it would be in the way.

At the ER they gave me liquid laxative even though I told them I had been taking laxatives, stool softeners and miralax for 4 days. Of course it didn't help. I kept begging them to please get me a walker so I could walk around a little or I would no longer be able to walk just from not being able to move off the stretcher. This was a Saturday and they told me physical therapy is closed over the weekend and only they could give me a walker. After 8 hours of still not being able to urinate they finally catheterized me (very painful) but at least a ton of urine came out. I'm lucky my bladder didn't rupture. They gave me a fleet enema which didn't work. They admitted me. After 27 hours on the stretcher my legs, from my feet to my him were so painful that even the sheet touching them caused me to screech out in pain. When they moved me from the ER to a room I was screaming in agony with every movement and I've had terrible pain to deal with most of my life and I've never screamed out loud over it before.

After 2 more days with no stool movement they finally gave me a tap water enema and during the enema the shit shot out of me with such force it covered one of the nurses hair to shoes. She screamed as loudly as I was screaming.

Finally by Tuesday PT came by to evaluate me. I could not move my legs to get into a position with my legs dangling off the bed. They moved them and this time not only did I scream but tears came pouring down my face, not crying but like tears from the pain. They pulled me to a standing position and I could not stand on my own. The pain was too severe.

To make this already too long story a little shorter I ended up having to go to to a rehab inside a nursing home. It was actually the same nursing home who have recently had the most Covid deaths of any nursing home in NYS. Yet this nursing home/rehab came highly recommended by the hospital. This place had one MD there only M-F for a few hours a day for over 600 patients. The RN's each had 60 patients per shifts and the techs, the ones who clean patients and stuff like that each had 40 patients per shift.

I had to spend a month in the rehab where none of my other medical conditions were addressed, where they changed most of my medications for more cost effective medications that didn't work as well or in some cases not work at all.

I had to go home with a home attendant. For another 3 weeks I couldn't care for myself at all.

Finally by February I was able to walk by myself about 3-4 blocks and stand to cook for myself. Between when the home aid left and then I was trying every day on my own to get back to where I was before going to the ER. From August - January I pretty much lived on peanut butter and crackers. It was all I could manage.

So believe me, sometimes constipation can lead to terrible things.

R21 Nope, nothing is more painful than childbirth. Second most painful is the first bowel movement you have after childbirth a week later. There will be blood, tears and tears, and a trip to Home Depot for a new toilet snake.

Good night nurse r35. I’m so sorry you had to endure such terror. That’s just evil to not let you have your walker. I truly hope you are back on the mend. My best to you.

Free the poop!

I was backed up for the last three days until I read through that thread about Candace Cameron. I crapped and a barfed.

Thank you so much R37, I'm almost back to where I was but a body that's in lousy condition to start with doesn't come back too quickly or at all from something like that. I give thanks that it didn't happen in the last couple of months as if I was in that same rehab/nursing home I would surely have died from the virus.

BTW, if anyone is in NYC or know someone who is tell them to stay away from the Cobble Hill Health Center in Brooklyn. It's a terrible facility and I'm not surprised it had the most virus deaths of any nursing home/rehab in all of New York State, not just NYC.

When I was a child, I had to go to the doctor and he had to shove his hand up my ass since I was so constipated I could barely walk without pain. It felt horrible and I had to then go to take a giant shit in the toilet. I also became constipated in grad school after briefly attempting a keto diet. I didn't shit for like 3 days until finally, after taking miralax, I took a 30 minute shit on the toilet. I still think being constipated beats having diarrhea any day.

Omg R35 that’s horrible! Hope you are doing better now.

Never. I have the diarrhea type of IBS. I had 5 sludge like loose dumps yesterday and the count ain’t over for today. I’d love to be a bit backed up

Saying smashed potatoes is so middle class.

When I was a teenager I couldn't shit for four days. I don't know why because I didn't eat anything unusual. I didn't tell anyone because I was embarrassed and by day 3 things were getting really uncomfortable and I was cranky. On day 4 I came home from school in the afternoon and as I was sitting on the couch watching Oprah I thought I had to fart so I let it rip, and instead the floodgates opened. Four days of shit came flooding out of my ass uncontrollably, there was a trail of shit to the bathroom. It was unbelievable, I was astounded that the human body could hold that much shit! The stench was ungodly. Thankfully no one was home so I cleaned the couch and the floor, put my shit clothes in the washer, took a shower and no one was the wiser.

R35 I hope you are getting better every day. What you experienced at that hospital is terrible. I thought a hospital existed to help relieve pain not cause more pain. The fact that no one could find a walker was just an excuse for weekend laziness by the medical staff. Impossible that no one in the entire building had access to the physical therapy room. That is some bullshit.

I wish you the best.

R41 /R43 I'm not prone to constipation but I have almost constant diarrhea which is it's own hell.

Raisin Bran, folks. Eat a bowl of Raisin Bran before going to bed and allow it to work its wonders while you sleep. If you don't go in the morning, eat another bowl and eat nothing else until you pass that load. Also, Sour Kraut. Nothing else but the Kraut - cut a potato into quarters just to absorb some of the sour thereby making it tolerable to eat. Yes, eat the whole can/jar. Don't go anywhere for several hours.

Strawberries and cherries are good too!

R48 Sounds like a recipe for disaster.

Has Matthew Perry commented yet?

When I injured my knee about 6 yrs ago. They gave me vicodin, but no warning it was major constipator. Even after I stopped taking them, it took days to unclog. It was horrifying.

[quote][R21] Nope, nothing is more painful than childbirth.

I guess we can start a thread about passing kidney stones next.

R36 = frau.

I had anal surgery for a thrombosed hemorrhoid, I was in bed for 3 days on narcotics. I know what pain is and that was PAIN. Like, wanting to die rather than shit.

I had to take heavy duty pain pills because the rebuilt my foot and lower leg AND had kidney stones. Oxycontin 40mg 4x a day. Brick tunnel! 1/4 cup warm water 1/4 teaspoon od epsom salts. Never fails. No weird lab potions.

You drink that R55?

Not me: my little brother. One weekend when his wife was away visiting her parents he spent the whole time with his lazy ass parked in front of the TV eating nothing all weekend except dry-roasted peanuts from one of those industrial-size jars from Costco and not sufficiently hydrating. By Monday he not only couldn't shit, he could barely walk. When she got home, his wife took him to the ER where he had to be manually dis-impacted. That is to say the doc had to put a gloved hand up his ass to chip off some of the hardened shit so they could get the enema in. He didn't go to work until Wednesday with no explanation of why he'd been out and "No," he most certainly did not want to talk about it.

But here's the fun part. He wasn't very popular where he worked (in the bowels, as it were, of the state's Dept. of Revenue) and, well, it's a hard crowd: not just lifers who work for the state, but lifers who deal with people's taxes all year long, not just in April. And he was one of 'em. Anyone who dared to so much as ask, "Feelin' better?" got a grunt or a snarl in response. One guy who worked there didn't like him at all and unbeknownst to my brother was in the Masons with my brother-in-law who's a druggist. Like most people, he wasn't too fond of little bro either. And of course, my B-i-L told him the whole painfully shitty saga which they both thought was hilarious and well-deserved because he's such an asshole and the two of them hatched a plan.

They had a third friend (they're all Masons, so they hang together) who's a florist make up a beautiful wicker gift basket that's about a yard wide and a yard high. Except instead of apples and oranges and gourmet cookies and candy all wrapped up in pink-tinted cellophane, it was filled with a giant jar of dry-roasted peanuts on a bed of fake green grass surrounded by Fleet enemas, boxes of Ex-Lax and prunes, and a red rubber enema bag and matching hose all courtesy of my brother-in-law. This was before everyone had a cellphone camera, but I saw a photo of the basket and it really looked stunning with the big red ribbon on it until you got within five feet of it and could see the contents clearly. The guy he worked with went into work early the following Monday and put it on his desk.

As everyone else wandered in, they all saw it and within minutes, they all knew what had happened to him the weekend before. The guy who brought it in said a florist's guy delivered it and told him the story explaining the contents. Little bro, as was his custom, wandered in a few minutes late, spied the gift basket on his desk from across the room and for once had a big smile on his face, thinking "Someone must like me - I got a present." Think about that for a minute: who'd send the taxman a present? Anyway, he's looking at it and everyone's looking at him as he gets closer and closer and then sees the look on his face change when he saw the contents. He went ballistic, screaming "Fuck you's," sweeping it off his desk and stomping on it while fifty people started laughing their asses off and he stormed out enraged.

How did it end? Presumably, it's still painful. To this day, 20-odd years later, he still works there and as far as we know, has no idea how they found out what he'd gone through or rather, what had such a hard time going through him.

Not me, but within the last year or so somebody posted about ending up with horrible opoid constipation after being prescribed painkillers for a broken ankle. They said it was so bad that they went to the ER and got an industrial-strength enema, then got put on a potty chair with a bucket underneath. The stench was apparently so bad when the dam burst that it made the other ER patients gag.

I was so constipated from my opioid addiction that shit started coming out of my mouth!

Is Rush Limbo dead yet?

It always ends badly.

OP lives at the 'Y'

this is why I got the shower shot attachment for instant dislodging. Especially after a long plane trip (altitude plug up). Works like a charm. I freak out if I don't go once a day

So you "dislodge" shitballs in your shower? Gross! Do you mush them down the drain with your foot?

....

Yum

Hawt

What did this OP get reported (it's crossed out)?

It was some funny shit .