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How do you deal with ass kissers at work?

How do you deal with people who constantly suck up and kiss ass at work? There’s this one guy who is such an ass kisser at work it’s nauseating. He is constantly trying to “help” everyone (even when nobody asks) or providing his input (again, when nobody asks) and acts like he’s both the trainer and manager. Tries to show off to the managers and make it look like he is so concerned and caring about everyone when in reality he would walk over anyone just to get a step ahead. And of course the managers eat it up.

How do you put up with this shit and make it more bearable?

by Anonymousreply 36May 14, 2020 1:24 PM

Present hole?

by Anonymousreply 1May 13, 2020 10:51 PM

R1 To the ass kisser or the managers?

by Anonymousreply 2May 13, 2020 10:52 PM

Ideas just pop into my head!

by Anonymousreply 3May 13, 2020 10:58 PM

Impossible to say without a pic, OP. One hopes one would want to drop trou.

by Anonymousreply 4May 13, 2020 11:01 PM

Watch your back and have the satisfaction of knowing that at some point, the ass kissing will backfire. Regardless of how the ass kisser is rewarded, at some point they will be disrespected, taken advantage of, and their integrity will be challenged, and in all probability, destroyed by those in power who reward them. Eventually karma is a bitch to ass kissers. I've seen it too many times. In spite of what shows up on the surface, the reality is that ass kissers don't think highly of themselves.

by Anonymousreply 5May 13, 2020 11:07 PM

R5 That makes me feel better. Thanks for that!

by Anonymousreply 6May 13, 2020 11:11 PM

I have done this:

“Oh, damn, Joe, you want some Kleenex?”

If he doesn’t take the hint and says “why?” I say point blank “you got a little shit on your nose.”

by Anonymousreply 7May 13, 2020 11:14 PM

Tell him that you can fold the t-shirts yourself without his help!

by Anonymousreply 8May 13, 2020 11:17 PM

R7 We are working virtually right now, but if we were in the office I might try that!😄

by Anonymousreply 9May 13, 2020 11:17 PM

The Gays. They're so bitchy. (They like to call it "cunty" these days)

by Anonymousreply 10May 13, 2020 11:19 PM

Take advantage of it. Use them every chance you get. Once they mess up, make sure you address it/confront them in front of other coworkers.

by Anonymousreply 11May 13, 2020 11:25 PM

I ask if they suck knobs, too, and then I unzip.

by Anonymousreply 12May 13, 2020 11:29 PM

He's not gay, that's for sure. Nearly every major corp has the go-to guy whose really knows it all but doesn't flaunt it. Usually they are reserved and gay.

by Anonymousreply 13May 13, 2020 11:47 PM

R11 is right. Get the help, preferably through email. If things blow up and you are questioned, respond with a simple "see attached." Teehee

by Anonymousreply 14May 13, 2020 11:50 PM

Be pleasant to ass kissers but do not volunteer any working relationship. If you are forced to work with one, you will discover they are incompetent and therefore also time sucks. The "collaboration" will take 2x longer than if you did it alone. Then, the ass kisser will subtly let it be known to YOUR higher ups that you are difficult to work with.

by Anonymousreply 15May 13, 2020 11:50 PM

[quote]The Gays. They're so bitchy. (They like to call it "cunty" these days)

The ass kisser is straight (as far as I know). In case you didn’t know, straight men can be just as cunty and bitchy as anyone else.

by Anonymousreply 16May 14, 2020 12:08 AM

r16, Sometimes more so!

by Anonymousreply 17May 14, 2020 12:12 AM

Sometimes ass-kissing backfires and sometimes ass kissers make it all the way to the top. We'd like to think they always get their just desserts, but ass kissing can reap rewards.

I would avoid ass kissers at work. Not worth the headache, trying to figure out their angle. JMO.

by Anonymousreply 18May 14, 2020 12:24 AM

You should ask him one day if his lips ever get chapped from all the ass kissing. You have to put people like that on notice that you know what they're up to. Otherwise they think they've got the wool pulled over everyone's eyes.

by Anonymousreply 19May 14, 2020 12:31 AM

Ignore the arse kissers. Do your job to the best of your ability. Don't gossip about other people at work. It always gets back to them and makes you look bad. The arse kissers will stab you in the back. Stay away from those who bad mouth others at work. They bring you down to their level.

Treat everyone from the janitor to the head of your company with the same respect.

by Anonymousreply 20May 14, 2020 1:09 AM

Basically ass-kissers are aggressively announcing to all their peers that they are more important and will do anything to get ahead of you. They're usually soo fucking transparent - and most managers/execs see it by the way others react in the room.

But you can seem to be positive and hard-working with keeping the flattery to a reasonable amount. Those types get far much faster.

by Anonymousreply 21May 14, 2020 1:15 AM

Does r20 work at a blind monastery or what?

by Anonymousreply 22May 14, 2020 1:35 AM

I've always kept this chestnut in constant rotation when I worked in an office - if somebody gossips to you about another member of your office, they gossip to others about you (gossip = talking smack behind their back).

by Anonymousreply 23May 14, 2020 2:04 AM

Absolutely, patently, unequivocally untrue r23. Sometimes people don’t like people. People who think that just because someone smack talks someone they don’t like or think is bad at the job, it absolutely does NOT mean they do it to anyone else. In fact, people who lack the ability to see nuanced behavior and paint everyone with the same brush are huge red flags to higher ups.

If a kiss ass is not affecting you in any way, say nothing, and keep an eye on them. If they start getting in your way, wait for your moment and then shut them down.

by Anonymousreply 24May 14, 2020 2:20 AM

The Serenity Prayer

by Anonymousreply 25May 14, 2020 2:37 AM

Be nice. They will be your boss someday.

by Anonymousreply 26May 14, 2020 3:09 AM

Shameless,unrelentless ass kissing is the only way to move up in corporations like Comcast.

by Anonymousreply 27May 14, 2020 3:24 AM

[quote]Be nice. They will be your boss someday.

Oh honey, I would quit on the spot before I ever allowed that to happen.

I don’t even like this job. I’m only staying in the position for the required time and I’m applying for a job in a different department as soon as I put in my time.

by Anonymousreply 28May 14, 2020 3:36 AM

I have an issue with authority, unless I'm the one in charge so an ass kisser is the last thing anyone would say about me. However, I do believe had I been more of one during certain work stints it would have served me well, or at least better. But I just can't.

by Anonymousreply 29May 14, 2020 3:37 AM

OP, jealousy can be so ugly sometimes.

by Anonymousreply 30May 14, 2020 3:44 AM

^^^^^ and so are you in anything backless, pussycat.

by Anonymousreply 31May 14, 2020 3:49 AM

I'm the CEO of the company I work for, and I just find sycophants intolerable. They universally believe that even though I run the company, I'm too much of a dumb ass to realize their game. I always call them on it privately first, and if it continues, I don't hesitate to humiliate them publicly. Unless you're a Trump, you don't want people who agree with you, you want people who can give you information and change your mind if it should be changed. Ass kissers are very rarely smart enough to know where they stand., which makes it so easy to pick them off.

by Anonymousreply 32May 14, 2020 6:10 AM

True, r32. In my experience, the best executives don’t surround themselves with “yes men,” but with people who will give honest assessments, not be afraid to disagree with you and/or tell you ‘no.’

by Anonymousreply 33May 14, 2020 12:18 PM

I said this once too:

I guess Mr. Smith should cancel his doctors appointment.

Why?

Well you’ve got your head so far up his ass if there was a problem with his prostate you’re sure to tell him.

by Anonymousreply 34May 14, 2020 12:20 PM

Bless you r32!

by Anonymousreply 35May 14, 2020 1:22 PM

R22, no.

I'm just the wiser to office antics.

by Anonymousreply 36May 14, 2020 1:24 PM
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