Obligatory post to mention how legit the Edge/Orton Tragicromantic Homoerotic Attempted Murder was, since smarks wanna keep throwing it under the bus. Yes, it did feel somewhat pornographic and too personal but it was also magnetic storytelling. So.
It must be appreciated that after all these years the classic disguised-as-cameraman trick finally gets used *against* Edge. Surprised he falls for the RKO Outta Nowhere but I’m putting that down to the INTENSITY of his focus and concentration on putting his ex-boyfriend out of action.
Randy’s old Legend Killer trunks are under his pants?? Ooh, you’re a no-good lying vicious harlot, Randy, but you look good, you bitch.
Randy raising his voice like it’s 2004. Edge out here in bondage like Randy always wanted. It’s basically the first ever Fifty Shades Freed Match (not the first Lovers-to-Enemies Angst event, though; that’s a wrestling staple). Randy stagewhispers “I’m always gonna love you” with so much passion in Edge’s ear while they moan and sweat and breathe heavily and press against each other in a harness and I am not making any of that up.
If nothing else I will always remember this part of the match for the violent semi-lapdance Edge gives Randy. I’ve seen real-life pro-strippers half this man’s age who lack these kind of sexy yet terrifying moves. King shit.
The red lights in the backstage area...are they Kane’s? MORE KANE is all this needed.
My favorite bizarre moment in this match is when Randy has Edge up against a wall in the back office corridor with all the potted plants and fluorescent lights and shitty PPV posters in cheap-frames, and it looks like they’re about to make out just purely from muscle memory or old habit.
When Randy throws Edge’s pre-prepped chairs away growling like “oh, no no no no NO” and then tosses him into a corner on the concrete floor....I am sweating. It is so dark and real that I wonder if Randy here is getting repressed anger out; maybe deep down still feeling the sting of Edge leaving the biz in their prime?
When Randy grabs a water bottle from a cameraman and dumps it all over himself I start laughing hysterically and it gets worse when he adds hissing noises to his stomps. Edge throwing the sandbag at Randy’s ankle was an inspired touch; that’s the old scumbag heelish opportunist Edge we know and love reemerging at last.
Seeing it the first time I gasped aloud and scared my dog when Edge saw, appraised and then climbed the ladder. Chills. He doesn’t fool me though, I see the flicker of worry for Randy’s safety before he jumps.
Just blood and tears EVERYWHERE😮😱
Randy laughing like a maniac! DDT off the truck roof! “I’ll tell you when to count!” This match has EVERYTHING. I hate these inane commentators & the munchkin referee who no-sells, though (Randy shushes him and Edge swears at him at one point which is off-brand for this show lmao). Without their annoying voices intruding, this piece would be a brutalist arthouse fantasy of thwarted desire, I’m just saying for next time...
Edge’s spear hurt him more than it hurt Randy, emotionally. I hope they had the most tender sweet and slow make-up sex that next morning.
Even the sound of the steel chairs has me cringeing “Randy, NO”. He should know better, but of course it’s just like his character not to give a fuck and give in to his natural deranged bloodlust. “It’s over. You get to go back to your girls....”...the longing way he says that makes me so sad; must be Randy’s fucked-up way of seeing their twisted love affair...
Going for the EGOT, Edge is so close to breaking down and snuggling with unconscious Randy instead of giving the killing chair shot, and he tells that story with a single facial expression...Art and Theater. This is what is meant by ‘WrestleMania Moment’. Edge holding Randy and whispering (think he says sth Kayfabe like “thank you for everything; I love you”?) as they close out is too much for my depressed GothGay spirit and now I have ascended🙏
