Let's be the movie American Beauty

I'm the rose petals covering Mena's nips and minge.

I'm the repressed gay man. Of course, I'm the killer - this is a Hollywood movie.

The video recorder teenager boy went to my high school - he was a douchebag.

R3 He became a heroin addict.

I am the house that WILL be sold today!

I'm teenage cocktease Angela Hayes. I was in Seventeen once and I looked fat, so I really should stop acting like I'm goddamn Christy Turlington.

I'm the score and cinematography, the only things Oscar-worthy in this overrated piece of honky trash.

R7 You made the rest of the film seem better than it is.

I'm Kevin Spacey playing a heterosexual creeping on a teenage girl. In reality, I creep on teenage boys. ACTING!

Hi, I'm Kevin, and he's Kevin!

Yes I read that, R4. He could have just stayed back home and done that with everyone else!

I'm the KING!!!!!

I'm DL fave Thora Birch's 15-year-old boobs.

I'm Annette Bening. I was the favorite to win the Best Actress Oscar for this film, until that nobody cunt Hillary Swank came along with her tranny movie. 5 years later I would again be the favorite for Best Actress, and, again, lose to that bitch!

Remember when the neighbor looked through Spacey's basement window as Spacey was bending down in front of the neighbor's son, and the neighbor got the wrong idea about what was going on? It was like a scene straight out of Three's Company!

I'm the Nazi plate

I'm Sarah Michelle Gellar. I claim that I passed on the role of Angela due to filming commitments for Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I've claimed that my TV schedule has forced to turn down many roles. I am a liar.

I'm Kevin Spacey's undeserved Oscar for this overrated crap. I'm also his love for the shellshocked Diane ("I love you"), which he proclaims to the world in the speech he gives after winning his undeserved Oscar.

I'm Richard Farnsworth. I should've won the Best Actor Oscar for The Straight Story.

It was a wonderful movie that held up beautifully . Stupid bitches, the lot of you !

I’m Janine, senior drive-thru manager, and you kind of are ON MY TURF.

I'm the Best Actress Oscar from which Annette was robbed.

I'm Wes Bentley. When this movie came out, people said that I was "destined for greatness." Instead, I was destined for heroin addiction.

I'm Thomas Newman's rather iconic score.

I’m the plate of asparagus smashed against the wall.

I'm Russell Crowe. I gained weight and was better than that ancient Dick mate on the tractor and that creepy closet queen who should of played the Chris Cooper role. I also get angry sometimes. And drink.

r20 I'm Tony winner Tracy Turnblad, 3 years later.

I'm Alison Janney. They wouldn't give me dialogue so I didn't know what to do so I stared off and asked one word questions. I also think my husband in this wants dick so I'd rather not talk anyway.

I’m the $4000 sofa, upholstered in Italian silk.

I'm Alan Ball's hometown of Marietta, Georgia. If you spent 10 minutes here, you'd realize the movie is pitch perfect

Hi! I'm Sam Robards, son of DL semi-fave Lauren Bacall. Product of her aborted attempt at happiness with my dad, Jason Robards. I was brought home from the hospital smelling of cigarette smoke and likely have FAS. I digress! In the movie, I'm married to hairy dreamy hunk Scott Bakula. We're the neighbors and the only functional married couple on the block. Ironic!

"It was a wonderful movie that held up beautifully . Stupid bitches, the lot of you !"

Shut up, Kevin, you crotch-grabbing old perv.

I'm The Who's "Baba O'Riley."

I’m dad’s big fat dick that Mena is going to suck.

I'm Desperate Housewives, what about me?

I'm the original ending where Jane and Ricky go to prison.

I'm Hilary. I actually deserved this Oscar.

I'm the cheerleader routine that was choreographed by Paula Abdul.

I'm Reese Witherspoon. I would win a slew of critics awards, but get snubbed by the Academy for Election, so I wasn't competing with Bening or Swank. I would go on to have a bigger career than either of them, and Election would have more of a lasting impact that American Beauty or Boys Don't Cry.

I'm all of the references to Lolita.

I'm gay porn star Dick Fisk. The character, Frank "Ricky" Fitts was named after me.

r38 I'm the awkward pause when Tracy Flick stood up in the gym thinking she had won.

I'm the straight gaffer who got fired for complaining about Kevin Spacey grabbing my crotch.

I'm Brad Dupree. I need a minute of Lester's time.

I’m Peter Gallagher’s eyebrows

I'm the two pissy lesbians complaining about how shitty the backyard and pool are at the open house..."There's nothing tropical about this pool....except the bugs".

I'm this entire scene!

I'm Christina Hendricks' hand. I was on the poster.

I'm the pretentious claptrap of a movie that somehow wins the Oscar for best picture.

I’m Cybill Shepherd, on whom Alan Ball based some traits of the Annette Bening character. (Don’t be flattered, Cybill!)

I'm Annette Benning catching her husband having a wank.

I'm the intellectual thinness of the screenplay!

I'm Kevin Spacey naked in a bed of roses, trying to woo Wes Bentley.

I'm the profound piece of wisdom Lester Burnham's ghost quotes at the end.

I'm Ryan Murphy's non-existent career had this movie not been made.

I'm the scenery. Not much of me is left after Annette got done chewing me.

FUCK ME YOUR MAJESTY!!!!!!!

I'm Kevin Spacey's unusual request to have his trailer set directly in the South High School filming location, right next to the boys' locker.

I'm the Dataloungers who think this movie must be deep because, just like "Ordinary People," it exposes uptight well-to-do suburban white women as unhappy monsters who make their families miserable, just like our own moms.

^^ Ordinary People was far better. At least it made a stab at reality with characters acting like real people.

I'm Kirsten Dunst. I turned down the role of Angela because I didn't want to do a nude scene or kiss Kevin Spacey.

I'm Chevy Chase who turned down the lead role.

I'm the plastic bag caught in the updraft.

I’m related to R32 but the unwashed masses refer to me as “Teenage Wasteland.”

Which one of you whores is gonna tell R62?

R62 Read the first post.

R61 I’m the gay PA who would have been called a “fag” if he’d taken the role.

R58 I’ve yet to see a mother who doesn’t make her family miserable. All women become shrews.

I’m the obvious incest that Carolyn experienced growing up and materializes in her workaholic behavior as a secretive slutty Realtor, projection of sexual deviance onto her husband and inability to be satisfied. Typical of incest survivors, ESPECIALLY women, bottle it up and never tell anyone but take it out on everyone, while professing “my Daddy was the best.” I bet Buddy Kane was just like Carolyn’s Daddy. She married Lester because he was non-threatening and safe, but after awhile that made her not respect him and she needed someone like Daddy, someone like Buddy to pound her hard.

Incest Survivors who don’t work through their shit are the most rancid humans you’ll ever meet and this character is a perfect example.

I'm idiot R62, who didn't read the very first post, but read all the others.