Let’s Be Texas or Texans

Hi, Courtney!

I'm Houston and I'm silently judging Dallas.

I'm the New York transplant driving 45mph in the left lane on the freeway. I'm a Texan now!

I'm the families that have been here for 300 years but just because my name is Lopez or Martinez dumb rednecks still call me Mexican and question my citizenship status.

I'm also a New York transplant blown away by the variety of foods regularly eaten here. I never knew such variety existed because I am a native of the most provincial city in the world.

You Texas ladies finish styling your hair, and it gets all in my eyes way up here.

I’m the best, easiest, most abundant TexMex in the world - damn cheap and the cause of our obesity.

I'm the most iconic, talked about place in Dallas, the grassy knoll

That’s cute, R6.

🙂

I am the lip gloss, and Prada worn my all the Dallas area gay men.

I'm a pair of nut huggers.

I'm the intolerable heat and humidity.

Look out for me, I'm a Texas twister!

Told ya I was hard core.

R7, I’m a Texan transplanted to New England and I would cut a bitch for some Tex-Mex right now.

I’m Lake Lewisville and I’m where all the sad posers desperate for attention hang out in the summer. I’m also referred to as the Hamptons of Dallas by Texans...obviously these retards have never been to the Hamptons.

We’re the 20-something girls. Most of us all look like clones of each other (same extensions, same shitloads of makeup, same anorexic bodies, and same duck lip pouts) and you can barely tell us apart. We will all have meltdowns as we age out and younger girls replace us.

I am a Dallas megachurch.. There is room for everyone here!

I'm the the leased Range Rover parked in the driveway. Always. Even though it's 107 degrees I'm never put in the garage so anyone driving by can see how RICH RICH RICH the people who live in the house are.

I'm the tiresome self-mythologizing. Literally NO ONE gives a fuck about me except other Texans.

R16 I'm one of the bazillion snakes that live in said lake.

We are Bert & Bertha Bigot, from Katy with a 2nd house in League City. We demonstrate open-carry at every opportunity. Our latest hobby is driving around town, looking for places where we can stand too close to people while refusing to wear face masks - hoping they will object to our spreading to virus.

I'm Nancy Grace, the fashion template for upper middle class suburban Texan women.

I'm Marilee Stone, the most ruthless oil-woman in the state, as comfortable in the bedroom as the boardroom.

I'm the 300-lb woman waddling around Walmart with seven children and seven grandparents in tow. We are enjoying this extended vacation! None of us is wearing a mask. We are getting dirty looks, but because the fat squishes our eyes we can't really see them. Our ethnicity will remain unstated so observers do not get called racist.

I’m the pickup truck owned by the corporate accountant. EVERYONE has a truck.

R26 I’m the affirmation of heterosexuality apparent to the world by the ownership of said truck. The 4x4 was used once on the Dallas North Tollway when it lightly snowed.

R22 Ewww! What kind of snakes are in there??? WTF do people go swimming in there then???

Sorry I meant that to be for R21

R28 Water Moccasins. They are highly venomous and they make nests underwater, if you fall in one you’re dead.

R30 OMG I just looked them up on Google! I also didn’t know there are alligators in Texas!

The symbol of the King Ranch -the largest ranch in Texas - is the diamondback rattlesnake, one of the deadliest snakes on earth.

Driving through the King Ranch is a truly Texas experience. To drive for 2 hours at 60mph and realize it’s all one family’s property makes you appreciate the Texas myth/mindset. I always think the movie Giant captured this Texas vastness better than any movie or book. It’s truly awesome how much open endless land there is. Watching the sunset over the vast, flat Texas scrub is one of the wonders of America.

I am the Big Bend National Park. As seen from the Amtrak Sundowner, New Orleans to Los Angeles, I am hundreds of miles of low brown hills intercut with scurling white rapids and lofty canyons. Antelope are common yet pass unseen, as they blend into the tawny soil. Occasionally a crumbling homestead or small stone church will pass into view and vanish just as swiftly. Marfa and Valentine stand just past my borders. I am the most remote national park in the lower 48 states.

You really don't want to get lost in me.

I’m those fuckin ridiculous boots.

I'm a transplant to Frisco from a few states away. Mommy and Daddy bought me a mini mcmansion here after my two-year marriage failed when the baby came. I act like it's my house but they neighbors can easily see it belongs to my parents because the tax records are online, and when a house sells, all the neighbors look it up to see whose name is on the new tax records.

I grew a beard, bought a big, new truck, and I go around telling people I'm just a country boy even though I come from a wealthy suburb of a well-regarded big Midwestern city. Hell, I even gave myself a fake southern accent so if sound like a native Texan! Only problem is I don't know there are many different southern accents and a Texas accent isn't the same as a southern accent east of the Mississippi, etc.

George W. Bush [R35]! So nice of you to stop by!

I'm a barbacoa taco. You really don't want to know how I am made or what I am made up.

Im the table full of adorable old white church ladies at Dennys having our sunday after church nibble, spewing racist venom about wetbacks and nigras in the most charming accents .

I’m the middle-aged cowboy amateur bull rider with the great ass who doesn’t realize it.

Who now owns the King Ranch R32?

How accurate was "Dallas" and the other over-the-top nighttime soaps?

Please explain the oft heard phrase, In TX the state flag flies almost as high as the stars and stripes. Also there's the United States of America and then there's Texas.

The King Ranch is still owned by descendants of the Kings. Amazing they kept it intact. Think it’s largely the oil and gas revenue that allows it to happen. One for the few place left where there are land barons. There are some adjacent ranches - like Yturrias - that re huge too. A whole different world down there.

I'm a right wing asshole Trump supporter

Which means I'm basically like every other person in Texas.

A state which never should have been allowed to join this country. Imagine how much better we'd all be without Texas politicians, Texan school boards, Texan culture (right).

OP definitely had someone VERY specific in mind with that description

I'm all the transplants from Orange County, CA who prefer to live in a big red state.

I'm the weird overlap between the White Christians of Dallas and the Jews and Italians of New Jersey, Long Island, South Florida and the West Side of LA.

Ostentation, designer clothes on straight men, obsession with hair and nails, overuse of make-up, propensity to overindulge children....

[quote]OP definitely had someone VERY specific in mind with that description

I thought the same thing about the poster at R35.

When did Dubya move to Texas?

R48 after he got done getting his cock sucked by Fraternity pledges at Yale.

R37 I'm assuming you mean beef cheek. Barbacoa actually just refers to the method of cooking (pit bbq,) you can make it out goat and lamb too.

R41 Texas was briefly an independent republic after revolting against Mexico, mostly because the U.S. was already building up to the Civil War and there was a political fight about accepting new territories. It's. a mix of several regions of the U.S.- southern, southwestern, and midwestern.

The state is so large and full of natural resources it isn't as interconnected with other states and the federal government. Due to size and wealth, Texas gets its own way a lot more than other states politically.

In South Texas, barbacoa is made by digging a hole in the ground and smoking a cow's head in it.

I went to Texas years ago (1990s). Everybody I met there was very friendly.

I’m the awful smelling farts and shit from all the Tex-Mex, BBQ, and whiskey.

I'm jalapeños, and I'm in EVERYTHING.

I'm high school football. I'm the state religion.

You're hardly silent about it, R2. Your inferiority complex compels you to shout it at every opportunity.

I am the only state in the Union with the right to secede.

[quote] I am the only state in the Union with the right to secede.

I am a strong urge felt in the sane states for you to exercise that right.

R58 In typical Texas style, that's a myth:

I was the Texas Embassy in London UK.

I am the Daughters of the Republic of Texas.

Yeehaw!

I'm Jackie Kennedy's mom — I'm from Houston.... Hugh Dudley Auchincloss Jr. was an American stockbroker and lawyer who became the second husband of Nina S. Gore, mother of Gore Vidal, and also the second husband of Janet Lee Bouvier, the mother of First Lady Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis and Caroline Lee Bouvier.

I know QAF is based on Pittsburgh, but the gay "strip" in Oak Lawn is actually one of the gayest neighborhoods I've ever seen outside of the Castro, and it really did remind me of QAF.

R64 How did Gore Vidal manage to get in on this?

I have thought about joining the Daughters of the Republic of Texas. I am also eligible for the Daughters of the Confederacy. I have never gone through with it though. I am sure they would not approve of me. I certainly don't approve of them!

I'm chicken-fried steak and gravy, mashed potatoes, collard greens, black-eyed peas, macaroni and cheese, creamed corn, fried okra, cornbread and iced sweet tea.

Hungry?

I'm Sharon Ann and live in the Country Club neighborhood of of El Paso. On Lee Trevino, hi y'all! I'm on my way to get my eyebrows threaded. Wonder if I should have taken the time to talk to my boy Sterling Roy this morning? He's been so moody since the last divorce. Dyed his hair black, spends all hours on gun enthusiast and conspiracy theory websites. He was loading his rifle this morning and putting extra bullets in his backpack before heading off to school. Don't want anything to come between us and our Second Amendment rights! Those are sanctioned by God! I'm sure everything will be fine.

On my Yukon I have an 'Abortion is Murder' bumper sticker next to my NRA decal.

I’m the steers and queers.

I’m blonde hair.

I’ve always thought chicken fried steak was gross. Especially that pasty, thick gravy.

😖

R72 is officially restricted to his hometown in NJ.

r68 That looks like a Luann Platter from Luby's. The food used to be much better, but still OK in a pinch.

The best chicken fried steak I ever had was some famous cafeteria in Tulsa . I went through the line and ordered it,and I swear to god that thing was the size of a large serving platter ! And SO good ! Good chicken fried steak is one of gods gifts R72 ,you philistine !

Sorry, R73, born and bred Texan here.

But not like what any of you are describing.

i'm the vast expanses of wide open spaces. i'm everywhere in TX, especially between the ears of the citizens

i'm the gun racks full of various assault weapons, without me, men with small cocks would feel helpless

Weird that the great state of Texas only got 78 replies so far. I haven't got much to say. I am the brown grass in winter.

R79 ...and summer!

I'm Mexicans. I'm actually the ethnic majority in this state.

I am "The Son" by Philipp Meyer

I’m the beautiful wild scenery. Rolling prairies, big skies, wide open spaces. Too bad so many of the people here mostly suck.

I'm proud son of Texas Lyndon Baines Johnson. I'm a nutjob.

I'm queso.

R84 Notoriously hung & an asshole with no filter, LBJ once had a female reporter ask why he hadn’t pulled out of Vietnam, to which he replied by unzipping his pants and flopping his cock out to say “That’s why.”

I'm oil- black gold, Texas tea...

I’m the bougie lady living in a 4,000 square foot house in Southlake. My cell phone case, license plate frame and cross on my necklace are all bedazzled.

I'm a motorcade that didn't end well.

[QUOTE]I'm Mexicans. I'm actually the ethnic majority in this state.

Mexicans are majority not only in Texas but also in New Mexico, Nevada, Arizona, California and pretty soon in Utah and Colorado as well.

Funny how they insist on being treated like a minority.

R91 Nobody asked you.

R91 indeed

I'm the trilogy of Texas cuisine: barbecue brisket, chicken-fried steak and enchiladas.

I’m the endless combination of tortillas, meat and cheese that creates Tex mex:

Meat/cheese in tortilla and baked with cheese =enchiladas Meat/cheese in a small tortilla = taco Meat/cheese in a giant tortilla = burrito Meat/cheese on a giant tortilla chip = chalupa/tostada Meat/cheese on small tortilla chips = nachos Meat rolled in a tortilla then fried = flauta Meat and cheese on an extra thick tortilla = Gordita

My favorite mega ranch is the 6666 ranch. The town of Guthrie, Texas is the company town...

R95, driving US 82 through there, it seems like the ranch goes on forever.

I'm Flo's Yellow Rose

I'm the Dairy Queen in Vega, Texas, where people hang out and play cards without eating, because I'm the only business in Vega with air conditioning.

I’m the woman who’s a double wide, having the same hairstyle for 20 years and thinks I’m entitled like an actual attractive person is. I’m very fat but my teeth are super straight and white just like my husband.

We're All My Exes.

[quote]I'm the trilogy of Texas cuisine: barbecue brisket, chicken-fried steak and enchiladas.

I would say that tacos have definitely overtaken enchiladas in the holy Texas trinity.

I'm Whataburger

I’m the bluebonnets

I'm the deluded Frau who loves Jesus and hates homosexuals, even though she is married to one.

I’m homophobia... I’m rampant.

I'm Anglos, the correct term for white people (in Texas.)

I’m the stars at night, which are big and bright.

How does someone not know that there are gators in Texas?

On the topic of chicken fried steak, when it's done right it's divine, when it's not, it's horrible. Best if it's done at home. The gravy is the key. Most restaurants use a powdered mix that resembles paste and is flavorless. A good gravy is made by adding milk to the pan drippings and adding lots of pepper. It should actually have a light beige color, never white which indicates powdered mix.

Also, even if someone hates Texas and Texans, they should visit Big Bend National Park and the surrounding area. Marfa, Terlingua are intriguing and I bought some surprisingly excellent locally made wine down there in a convenience store. They don't sell it anywhere else. Interesting artwork and crafts by locals can be found on the roadsides too.

I'm Amarillo, the most conservative city in the state, where the tea party is considered liberal, where the Bush family is considered a form of left wing communism, and where nothing in the city works because most of the citizens refuse to pay any taxes, as taxes are just a form of godless communism.

We're the Park Cities Kappa Alpha Theta Alumnae Association. If you weren't in Theta at UT or SMU, you have cooties and you'll need to join the Greater Dallas Alumnae Association with all the other proles and parvenus.

Lady Bird's wildflower legacy.

R109, you forgot the part about one tree, the area is flat and treeless as can be

I'm grateful to have a Texan for a husband: strong, good lookin', great manners, great accent, and smart. Smart enough to get the fuck out of Dallas as soon as he could.

He's seen both sides now (and the rest of the world.) He's grateful to be living in a civilized place these days.

He doesn't even want to be there when he's dead - he sold the empty grave sites.

My Great Uncle cornered the blonde hair dye market in Dallas in 1965. Made a fortune, but in the end they lynched him. RIP Uncle Vidal.

I’m the warm welcome for Yankees.

[cough cough]

Don't Mess With Texas!

Im the smoking hot 45 year old man with the fat , ugly, brood mare bitch of a wife at home who I havent wanted to fuck in 20 years . Ive been getting my dick wet at bookstores and rest stops for years . I'll go to my grave never admitting it ,cause Im NOT gay if I receive instead of give. Am I ?

I'm the neverending construction on I-35 between Dallas and Austin.

and I'm the neverending construction on I-45 both north and south in Houston.

I’m the weird, bastardized pronunciation of names or locations. Part of this is laughing at people who don’t pronounce them “correctly”.

Guadalupe = Guadaloop Manchaca = Manshack Buda = Beeyuda Mejia = Mehgeeya

Did R120 have a stroke ?

I’m the smarmy friendliness Texans like to call southern charm.

R121 yes it was caused by living here and dealing with certain realities in Texas. How they pronounce thing is one of them. Another is how the response when they didn’t hear what someone said is, “Do what?”

R120 is spot on, R121.

When my bro first moved to Austin for school he ridiculed them for saying Guadaloop and others.

.

I’m the the Katrina refugees in the Astrodome who were underprivileged anyway, so this is working very well for us.

R124, if your brother was not a native then he was pronouncing it wrong, not the natives. When you move somewhere, you generally are expected to use whatever pronunciation they use. I'd like to see someone move to France and tell them how to pronounce things.

Louisiana is pronounced "looziana" by natives and East Texans. If you pronounce the first part like its namesake Louis, you are a tourist.

Enough of a native TEXAN to know the correct pronunciation of Guadalupe and Manchaca, R126.

Ridiculous white trash people that can’t pronounce Spanish words correctly. It was our land first, asshole.

Unclutch your pearl, ya big pussy.

Texas was originally Tejas pronounced “Tehas” after the Native American word Taysha meaning ally. Pronunciations evolve...

Mexia TX, home of ANS, is pronounced "Mahia". Nearby Ft. Parker is where Cynthia Ann Parker was kidnapped by Comanches. She later gave birth to Quanah Parker, last great Comanche Chief.

Mexia is also a real shithole. Very, very small and poor.

It's pronounced muh-HAY-uh.

Not where I'm at. It's "Mahia" in these here parts.

I don't know which here parts you're in, but I've lived in north Texas for 55 years and I've never heard anyone pronounce it Mahia.

I'm in SE Texas.

I’m Anna Nicole Smith and I’m the biggest incest surviving crazy slut this world has ever seen. I’m from Mexia.

Can't quite blame her for getting out any way she could R135. All she had was her looks and body. God knows, there was nothing between her ears.

Was she an incest victim?

Just got to.

Shit, wrong place

R127 FOH Mexicans do that shit all the time.

R131 is right, it's been Muh-HAY-uh my whole life.

There's an old joke about Mexia.

Two northerners were traveling through Texas when they stopped to in Mexia for lunch. They started arguing over how to pronounce the name of the city. One said it was pronounced MEX-EE-A. The other swore it was MEH-HEE-A. To settle it, they called a worker over. One guy said, "My friend and I disagree on how you pronounce this place. Can you tell us how to say it? And say it real slow so we can understand." She bends down and says very slowly, "It's pronounced DAIR-Y QUEEN."

I’m from “SoCal”, mostly recently L.A., but I live in Austin now. My boyfriend and I like to wear pastel colored clothing, eat from food trucks and throw birthday parties for our dog. Wow, I love chalkboard paint! I’d dump Austin like a hot potato and go back to L.A., but moving to Austin got me sooo much attention. Did I mention I’m from L.A.?

[quote]I'm Anglos, the correct term for white people (in Texas.)

I'm Saxons, the Anglos were fucked long before they ever got to Texas

Don't know nuttin about fancy pronunciation but i live in a big ass mansion on Ver-sales st. in Highland Park.

Don't sigh for me Texarkana

I'm the Alamo. Everyone "remembers" me, but most have no fucking idea why.

Ironically the museum in SA is anything but memorable.

I'm me, draining this Texan stud's huge wang.

R146 At least they took the Coke machine out of the entrance to the Alamo. Wasn't historic enough, I guess.

I'm delicious sheet cake.

I’m the homecoming mums.

Texas...exes

When Governor Greg Abbott announced Monday that Texas would begin on Friday to lift lockdown orders amid the coronavirus crisis, he said his approach would be guided by data. Seven and a half hours before the state’s stay-at-home order would expire, two new key data points emerged. The Texas Department of State Health Services reported fifty new deaths from COVID-19 in the state, the largest single day increase during the pandemic. For only the second time since tracking began, it also reported more than one thousand new confirmed cases.

I'll be the legitimately interesting history and stunningly varied and dramatic scenery, crying and crying because of all the idiots profaning me.

My daughter’s teacher two years ago was from Amarillo, R109. With no sense of irony she asked me if my husband was a “dark-skinned man” and whether he was a Christian. We have an “ethnic sounding” last name.

I’m Bexar County. Can you pronounce my name correctly?

It’s “bear”. Ignore the X.

I'm "bless your heart"

I'm the gently-used extra-large SUV - whether a Chevy Suburban, Ford Expedition, Toyota Sequoia, or similar - that every Texas middle class wife and mother aspires to drive. The floorboards are rubber instead of carpet - you can just hose the dropped Cheerios out onto the driveway - and the entire second row is filled with various booster seats. There's a drop-down video screen in the back of every seat, because God forbid little Ashleighea or little Rider have to go ten minutes without watching some mind-numbing animated show. I keep an ice chest in the back in case I find a deal on bulk ground beef at Wal Mart. There are endless snacks in the console. And a small pistol in the glove box.

I'm all the white trash woman who found love and married a Mexican-American, Texas man. It feels good to escape my dysfunctional family from the trailer park. I am also happy my children look like models.

We are everywhere in Texas!

I'm the students in Texas high school Spanish class saying they are half white because their mom is Mexican and their dad is white.

What they don't know is they're more like 75% white because most Mexicans are native Indians of Mexico mixed with Spanish white European blood.

I'm Cabeza de Vaca, aka Head of Cow in Espana. I travel around making the sign of the cross for sick Texas natives. Miraculously, I find they are healed. I don't know about the placebo effect.

I’m Douglas “the facinator” Friedman. Why am I here?

Also, what happened to Peter Wish?

I’m the Rio Grande Valley resident. When I say I’m from Texas, everyone thinks “Oh - like Dallas” even though it’s hundreds of miles away, a different climate zone and a completely separate culture and world. As evidenced in this thread, people have no idea how huge Texas is and how different it is in Texarkana versus the border of Mexico.

I'm the transplant from Philadelphia who is getting to know my new neighbors at a cocktail party. I am having a nice conversation with these new acquaintances about books, literature, work, philosophy, you name it. They seem quite sane and intelligent, and then they casually mention how the President was born in Kenya.

I’m the Texan who is dismissive of Mexican culture and any minorities and insists everyone speak English—yet proudly claims Native American heritage because some random relative eight generations back had “Injun blood”.

R163 I’m the same conversation later after most the guests have left and you’re sitting around the fire pit in the backyard and the remaining guests agree they “ain’t got no problem with blacks” and someone drops “yeah, but I mean... a Nigger as President?!” no one bats an eye.

DL thinks Texans= the southern WASP contingent- who aren't even the majority of the white people here.

The homecoming mums have evolved from that. That is tasteful compared to the shit they wear now. Huge, tacky, beribboned things that cover the entire front of a girl.

I love "Bless your heart"----the genteel Southern ladies version of "fuck you bitch".

Yeah... Y'all don't know Texas.

The colors go together a little better than you might think Case in point. My daddy was from Mississippi but he loved living down south near Padre Island. He'd complain about going to a drive through and the attendant speaking Spanish but he married a Hispanic woman.

He loved that area. I asked him how he could support Trump and love living down there. He just did. He thought Hillary beat Trump's ass in the debate and he loved his Fox News.

He'd talk to anyone and wasn't as racist as people make Trump supporters out to be. There was no place in the world he loved more than the Valley. I have no idea why. Must be the relaxed Hispanic culture down there.

R168 It's not always that severe, it can also just mean condescending disapproval.

R169 Mexicans just kind of accept the racism in Texas, especially in rural areas. Probably cause they hate blacks themselves.

R171 I'm not sure what you're saying. I can tell you as one of the handful of white people along with my sibling, we would get light racist comments. Pinche guero. That sort of thing. Didn't happen often though. I don't think Hispanics down there got alot of racism themselves because most people are Hispanics.My friend had two Mexican American parents but was light complected and other Spanish kids used to yell out guera when she would walk to class.

Occasionally seen some Hispanic women touch black African hair, or blonde hair, but but they mean well and are friendly about it. For the most part people are cool.

I'm Fort Worth, and I'm enormously unloved. But as least I'm better than Midland/Odessa or Texarkana.

I am the bus of Salinas.

R173 I’m Fort Worth and the men who live here are the most insecure homophobes you’ll ever meet. They all have “All hat, No cattle” syndrome because the Neiman Marcus-living daddy’s girls only want to date ranch land barons. I’m basically still segregated too.

There is a resentful attitude toward Hispanics that’s hard to explain. It’s probably close to some of the systemic passive aggressive racism blacks experience in certain parts of the country. It’s not overt, but their is clearly a disdain, letting you know you are being tolerated and considered inferior. A lot of it is wrapped up in the legacy of this state and attitudes toward illegal immigration, but any Texan who says it doesn’t exist is lying or bullshitting themselves.

R176 it’s hilarious too considering Rogue Americans stole Texas from Mexico.

I work with Mexicans. They're extremely racists against African Americans and HATE other latinos.

Not sure R176. I'm in Texas and I'm not sure why there is some much of this. Mexicans were here first, before them Native Americans. Maybe it's an Alamo thing? I know a lot of them resent the "illegals" but this seems to carry over into thinking every Hispanic is suspect. You can see the attitude in the local news comments sections. If any crime is committed by a vaguely "brownish" person named Hernandez or similar the comments are all "ship him back", "this is what comes from not securing borders, MAGA!!" and "build the wall". I call a lot of them out on this and will get 10 down votes but then, like most forums, there's one or two trolls operating different sock puppets.

There are enlightened people down here but the MagaTs are loud.

R178 True, you don't want to be the only Puerto Rican in a place full of Mexicans.

R167 - leave it to Texans to take something kinda cute into some cheap, tacky monstrosity.

PS I've never heard of Homecoming mums outside of Texas.

They are purely a Texas thing R181. When I was in HS they were still actual corsages. I don't where these hideous things came from but I have a hunch it was one frau's crafty idea to make her cheerleader daughter stand out and it caught on.

R181 The bigger and more ornate the mum, the higher in the social pecking order you are. It's mostly girls who wear them, I don't remember many guys who weren't on the football team wearing them when I was in high school. Your Homecoming date is supposed to give you one (his mom usually makes or buys it.) It can be socially acceptable for girls to give them to their friends if they don't seem too gay. The most shameful thing in the world is to buy your own, second only to not having one at all.

Gawd - I looked these up - are there any tasteful ones? Seriously - nobody could look at any of these and say - "Hmmm...that looks nice".

Why even bother to wear a dress? I don't understand this at all. They are so gaudy and massive! Truly tasteless.

R184 Girls trip on them and get caught on furniture endlessly Homecoming day 😂 They banned buttons that played music or lit up when I was in school because they'd go off in class and cause a distraction.

I think the point, god knows why, is to be as gaudy and massive as possible. A dress is a total waste. The other godawful cultural thing common here and anywhere large populations of Mexicans are is quinceanera dresses. Think gypsy wedding type dresses unless the girl has a modicum of good taste.

I'm Texas refried beans. We are not served with cheese here. :(

R186 - you mean these? Didn't I see this in Vogue in 2017?

At least you can see the dress and the girl.

Yep R188.

R32 We laugh at your weak venom.

Texans are white “Americana” on steroids.

I disagree R191. I think you'd have to go to Green Leaf, Indiana or somewhere very midwest for "Americana". Texas, for all its faults can't be pigeon-holed because it's too big and varied. You've got surfer/beachcomber culture on the Gulf Coast, San Antonio and border area are definitely "Mexican", Austin and the Hill Country are artsy with microbreweries, and heavy German influence. West and North are definitely cowboy. Houston has NASA and technology. Definitely, not Norman Rockwell.

I'm the drop dead gorgeous black guy in skin tight wranglers and braids down to my waist at the shooting range in Houston. True story.

Some quince dresses are nice. It just depends on the taste level of the family.

Not all mexas are racist, I resent that stereotype.

The absolute worse thing you can be, in my book, is racist, toward any ethnic group.

It boggles my mind how anybody could possibly think you are better just because of the color of your skin.

Now Puerto Rican’s and Cubans are inferior to Mexicans 😛😛

That’s true.

I’m tacky Texas decorations. Sold everywhere.

[quote] They are purely a Texas thing [R181]. When I was in HS they were still actual corsages. I don't where these hideous things came from but I have a hunch it was one frau's crafty idea to make her cheerleader daughter stand out and it caught on.

Don’t know when you were in school, but mum corsages weren't quite to the level of the photo in the late 90s, but they were pretty close. I remember the old Hobby Lobby off N Lamar having aisles upon aisles of mum making shit back then.

[quote] The absolute worse thing you can be, in my book, is racist, toward any ethnic group.

That's worse in your book than being a serial killer, or a mass murderer?

I’m the archaic sodomy laws.

I’m the propane and propane accessories for sale.

I am the Texas school board and I make sure you kid is getting a shitty, revisionist education

I'm 60 Minutes on Sunday night. I am showing the whole country what a travesty much of rural Texas is in terms of health care and health insurance. I don't really care, though, since most of these Texans are Republicans who thought the affordable care act was directly from Satan.

I’m the football stadium that cost more than the school building.

I’m Sex Education in Texas, which usually consists of a basic explanation of the biology of reproduction and abstinence promotion. I am optional depending on school district.

I'm the 70-year-old coworker who asks, "What church do YOU go to?" during my second week of employment. I will later ask the newbie to join the Christian Singles Bible Study, where the participants are helpfully segregated by age and "Bible knowledge."

I'm Charlie Wheeler. My family is worth half a billion dollars. My family paid off the Bexar county coroner's office to make it look like my gf killed herself.

[quote]I'm Fort Worth, and I'm enormously unloved.

That's just not true, FW is great.

I’m “Dallatude”. Lots of gays in Dallas have it.

[quote]I’m “Dallatude”. Lots of gays in Dallas have it.

To be fair, a lot of straight people do too.

I remember going to visit the Alamo and one of the street performers in front of Ripley's was like " ...but seriously guys, fuck racism. Racism sucks." This was when all that migrant at the border cage crap was happening. Speaking of which- what happened to that? They solved it? You never hear about it anymore. Just like ISIS. Fuck the news.

I'm Texas Toast.

[quote]I’m the football stadium that cost more than the school building.

This is so true and causes a lot of controversy and fighting in some school districts. Usually, it's a money grab with funds being diverted to someones pocket. Taxpayers end up paying for it and unless their kids are jocks, many parents are pissed and there's always the older or childless people who are really pissed. A few years ago, a school district in Katy, TX decided it "needed" one and were going to call it a "multi-purpose facility" It would be shared by all the schools nearby so they were going to have to up the taxes and held a special vote. Lots of fighting but in the end the district got their way and now they have an enormous, professional quality football stadium with elevators and a press box. Gone are the days of climbing up and down collapsible bleachers.

I'm $185k. I'm the average price for a 3 bedroom home. See how pretty I am?

I'm an entire state that, if it were to disappear off the map forever, would be a boon for all humankind.

Football and cheerleading sucks.

I’m the Chicken Ranch.

From R185's pretty home in Round Rock link to LGBT protections in Texas: it sucks

[quote]I'm an entire state that, if it were to disappear off the map forever, would be a boon for all humankind.

No, it would hurt the US economically.

The house at R212 looks like a place the Watts family might choose to 'give Texas a try'.

Except for that unfortunate incident in Colorado.

I’m Nick the gay slut.

R212

That's not an average home, so why use this property let alone the $185K figure when this home was offered for sale last year (it didn't sell) for almost double that???

Yeah sorry those homes are in the 300k

i'm a rowdy redhead headed for the bigtime

EVEN THE FUCKING MOBILE HOMES ARE IN THE 300S!!!

FUCK YOU AUSTIN WANNABE HIPSTERS!

Is that a BEAN in mah chili?

Here's another cute house at a great price.

Of course you do realize that every state has atrocious houses and every state has nice ones?

"Cute house"??? You think? The Zillow listing has no pictures, always a bad sign. And it's a rental with property taxes and fees that are through the roof: almost $5000 annually for the property taxes and HOA fees on a house estimated to be worth less than $160,000? And it's in a market that's getting double-fucked, first by Covid-19 (Greater Houston has the highest infection rate in Texas) AND by the collapse of the oil industry - an industry that was highly leveraged to start with and unlikely to rebound for a couple of years in a world now awash with oil.

There are some nice looking places in Richmond, but they start at double what this one is (or rather, was) worth.

I am a windshield cowboy, complete with boots, belt and huge buckle. I wear jeans and a blue shirt. Sometime I add a leather or suede jacket. I use a four-wheel drive to get around my "ranch" (2nd home on 2 acre lot) [bold]because I do not know how to ride a horse. [/bold]

Sarcasm R227.

I'm Robert Plant.

R228 - I live in Austin and know more than one person who has a "ranch" that amounts to less than 10 acres. It cracks me up big time.

10 acres is a ranchette.

R232 - I'm not even sure 10 acres is a ranchette. In Texas, 10 acres is a lot.

Well, R197, considering that many tragedies (and mass killing events) are racists doing horrible things (El Paso, that poor man in Georgia, every case of white cops killing unarmed, defenseless black and Latino men), yes, I stand by my comment.

Racist are scum and beyond vile and disgusting.

The worst of humanity.

I'm the HORRIBLE racist jokes that have been passed down through the ages in Texas. Example...

Q: Why did only three thousand Mexicans attack the Alamo?

A: They only had two pickup trucks.*

*People who aren't from Texas may not get this.

I'm the "fractured fairytale"-like life of Texas legend Ima Hogg.

"Contrary to popular belief, Ima did not have a sister named Ura. Texas legend insists that when Jim Hogg ran for re-election as Texas governor in 1892 he often travelled with Ima and a friend of hers and introduced them as his daughters Ima and Ura. Ima Hogg maintained throughout her life that this never happened. She was frequently forced to dispel the myth; hundreds of people wrote her letters inquiring whether her name was real and if she really had a sister named Ura. The Kansas City Star even invented another sister, Hoosa."

I'm a flash flood warning.

I'm the country black dude. I drive an F250, strut around in my stetson, and I'm a NRA member and a member at the gun range.

You bet your ass I exist- there's at least two of me in every little town in Texas.

I’m the horizontal traffic lights.

I'm Texas Country Reporter