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I want an indoor fountain but my god they are so tacky!

Yes the concept is inherently tacky but I still want one for the relaxing sound. But when I go to look for one, one that is perhaps a tolerable level of tacky, I cannot find anything.

This thread is dedicated to the paragons of indoor fountain tackiness.

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by Anonymousreply 119Last Saturday at 9:21 PM

This one with meercats costs $340!

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by Anonymousreply 105/01/2020

This one is called "Broken Hot Wheels meets Lincoln Logs"

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by Anonymousreply 205/01/2020

Here is a dog orgy-themed fountain.

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by Anonymousreply 305/01/2020

Pelican vomiting into a pot

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by Anonymousreply 405/01/2020

This one makes no sense. Why would a cactus be growing in a wet area?

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by Anonymousreply 505/01/2020

There are "Japanese"-style table water fountains available. Theyr'e quite nice. But if you listen at night, you'll wet the bed.

by Anonymousreply 605/01/2020

I like this one

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by Anonymousreply 705/01/2020

and this one. just Google modern indoor fountain

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by Anonymousreply 805/01/2020

Three birds, one cup:

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by Anonymousreply 905/01/2020

Trickle trickle trickle trickle.

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by Anonymousreply 1005/01/2020

This one lights up at night. No thanks!

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by Anonymousreply 1105/01/2020

[quote]I still want one for the relaxing sound.

Why don't you just tape record the sound and play it back?

by Anonymousreply 1205/01/2020

Recordings always sound tinny.

by Anonymousreply 1305/01/2020

This one is called "Drooler Serenity Fountain" (for real).

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by Anonymousreply 1405/01/2020

This one combines my love of Jesus with my love of soothing water sounds.

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by Anonymousreply 1505/01/2020

Love this thread! I’m pissing myself laughing!

by Anonymousreply 1605/01/2020

Cherub bukkake fountain:

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by Anonymousreply 1705/01/2020

Don't pee in my pool, r16.

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by Anonymousreply 1805/01/2020

love it lol. My grandmother loved hers. The water gets dirty and slimy very quick though

by Anonymousreply 1905/01/2020

I kind of like this one with the elephant. The colors are so cheerful! According to the Amazon reviews, it's the "best value if you want a small fountain with a magic glowing ball and an elephant."

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by Anonymousreply 2005/01/2020

This one has a built-in jail for a goldfish in it.

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by Anonymousreply 2105/01/2020

And here we have Ganesh pleasuring himself behind a cascade of water.

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by Anonymousreply 2205/01/2020

This one might be my favorite yet.... there is a LOT going on in this fountain. It's a party every day, when you have this fountain.

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by Anonymousreply 2305/01/2020

All the best indoor fountains feature a little boy peeing!

All my future plans for patio fountains involve simple ceramic bowls and pebbles, but no indoor trickling. If the sound doesn't give me the urge to pee, it'll give someone else the urge to pee.

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by Anonymousreply 2405/01/2020

Who doesn't want a fountain with a magic glowing ball?

by Anonymousreply 2505/01/2020

Inspired by r24, the fountain artiste presents us with "frog dumping a bucket of pee on little boy frog while neighbor frog looks on."

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by Anonymousreply 2605/01/2020

Baby bath

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by Anonymousreply 2705/01/2020

Fishy fountain. Those poor things don't look to happy.

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by Anonymousreply 2805/01/2020

Here we have an oriental Thomas Kinkade nightmare.

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by Anonymousreply 2905/01/2020

Make one yourself OP.

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by Anonymousreply 3005/01/2020

do you have a pet that lives indoors?

order one of those bubbling pet fountain thingies and enjoy the sounds. yes, they too are hideous (and near impossible to keep clean), but at least your soothing auditory sensations can be had while accomplishing something practical.

plus, it's easier to explain to visitors than fauns cavorting near a stream.

by Anonymousreply 3105/01/2020

This one is pretty cool... but what is that man doing looking up the Virgin Mary's skirt???

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by Anonymousreply 3205/01/2020

I like the bamboo stick ones.

by Anonymousreply 3305/01/2020

Cockadoodldoooooo.

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by Anonymousreply 3405/01/2020

r31, my cats love their drinking fountain

by Anonymousreply 3505/01/2020

OP, look at Etsy for some simple, handmade fountains rather than that odious made in China crap.

by Anonymousreply 3605/01/2020

Ok, r36, I will. I am worried because this one is starting to really appeal to me.

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by Anonymousreply 3705/01/2020

This one is actually pretty cool. It's like a water tornado.

They make an outdoor model, too.

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by Anonymousreply 3805/01/2020

R32 That looks like a bathtub Madonna from someone’s front yard! Here’s a more terrifying one:

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by Anonymousreply 3905/01/2020

This one from Etsy is cool.

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by Anonymousreply 4005/01/2020

These aren’t tacky, but if you’d like a non-tacky fountain they’re really nice. They come in lots of colors. There’s a 12” version, a 16” version and a large outdoor version.

Bauer Pottery is made in the LA area from the original Bauer Pottery molds. The guy that owns it now is a really nice guy who loves old California pottery designs and is trying to preserve them. He recently bought a lot of old Tiki molds from a defunct factory and is making Tiki ceramics now.

He’s having a hard time of it now due to the Coronavirus, so if anyone loves California pottery that’s lead free, have a look at the site, fountains or not. I’d hate to see him go out of business after he’s worked so hard to preserve California pottery designs.

They manufacture their own stuff, so there’s a wide range of colors and if you want a fountain, they’ll drill a hole in one of their vases or bowls or whatever you want to use. The oil jars make really pretty fountains or vases. I have a 12” blue one that’s a great vase for big flowers like lilies or sunflowers.

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by Anonymousreply 4105/01/2020

This lil’ guy is adorable!

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by Anonymousreply 4205/01/2020

This is for anyone who thinks that the cute-loving fraus are responsible for all the world's most hideous indoor fountains.

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by Anonymousreply 4305/01/2020

r13

Not if you record with something you didn't buy at the dollar store.

by Anonymousreply 4405/01/2020

Presenting hole:

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by Anonymousreply 4505/01/2020

OP,, get to a major garden center in some large city near you. Or try their web site. Try there for a water fountain. The ones here are taky, horrible.

by Anonymousreply 4605/01/2020

^^ [quote]This thread is dedicated to the paragons of indoor fountain tackiness.

by Anonymousreply 4705/01/2020

This exquisite piece is available through Amazon Japan.

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by Anonymousreply 4805/01/2020

You gotta get one of these rain lamps. Very popular 50 years ago.

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by Anonymousreply 4905/01/2020
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by Anonymousreply 5005/01/2020

Tacky is as tacky wants.

by Anonymousreply 5105/01/2020

Your cup can truly runneth over with this 56" tall combination Last Supper fountain and floor lamp. And its perfect for you queens that entertain on a budget, because the water pouring out of that little jug on the floor turns to wine as it flows down the steps leading to the upper room. Top that, bitches.

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by Anonymousreply 5205/01/2020

I love it, R52!!!

I love all these ghastly table fountains, at least, I love them at this distance. For myself, if I ever had a table fountain, which is unlikely since the cats would assume it's their water bowl, I'd get this sort of tasteful thing.

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by Anonymousreply 5305/02/2020

Do they all work with chocolate?

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by Anonymousreply 5405/02/2020

R41 Nice stuff at that website. I will definitely browse, thanks for posting.

by Anonymousreply 5505/02/2020

Who likes gnomes?

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by Anonymousreply 5605/02/2020

I have this elegant rain lamp in my own home. From a 90s Lillian Vernon catalog.

R49--I had suburban 70s neighbors with a rain lamp similar to the one in your post. When I saw the Blessed Virgin Mary lamp it tied two great things together for me.

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by Anonymousreply 5705/02/2020

Awww I feel like if it makes you happy and relaxed you deserve to have one 🥰🥰

by Anonymousreply 5805/02/2020

Here ya go

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by Anonymousreply 5905/02/2020

The Bonsai fountain isn't too bad except for the lurid poisonous brew misting forth. I love the tackiness displayed so far. Who buys that crap?

I saw a large rock fountain outdoors recently and liked it. They make smaller versions for indoors. Quite a variety available when you search.

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by Anonymousreply 6005/02/2020

That one is nice, r60. Sadly it looks like it's only for sale in the UK. Here's one with a homeless man washing his feet in the river.

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by Anonymousreply 6105/02/2020

R61 The elder in a caftan is perfection.

by Anonymousreply 6205/02/2020

OP just wants a place to baptize herself the slut of Springfield.

by Anonymousreply 6305/02/2020

R38, those are called vortex fountains, they have become a thing.

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by Anonymousreply 6405/02/2020

How about a smaller version of this?

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by Anonymousreply 6505/02/2020

Of COURSE Disney makes table fountains!

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by Anonymousreply 6605/02/2020

No home is complete without a low-quality plastic hummingbird.

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by Anonymousreply 6705/02/2020

Here are some actual cool minimalist ones made of concrete.

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by Anonymousreply 6805/02/2020

Every single one of the fountains in the link at r68 looks like a urinal or a toilet.

by Anonymousreply 6905/02/2020

Order prefabricated arab one.

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by Anonymousreply 7005/02/2020

sadly, gifs aren't working on DL anymore. I guess they ate up bandwidth.

by Anonymousreply 7105/02/2020

What you need is a fire vortex fountain! Skip to 13:00

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by Anonymousreply 7205/02/2020

I want that for halloween

by Anonymousreply 7305/02/2020

You're tacky, OP.

by Anonymousreply 7405/02/2020

R40 i like that one. Can you link the Etsy page? Please.

by Anonymousreply 7505/02/2020

Here it is, r75.

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by Anonymousreply 7605/02/2020

I’m falling for these things.

by Anonymousreply 7705/03/2020

You need this elegant garden fountain OP. Appropriate for the neighborhood you live in.

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by Anonymousreply 7805/04/2020

How about copper and slate?

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by Anonymousreply 7905/04/2020

Just turn your bidet on and gaze at it.

by Anonymousreply 8005/04/2020

R79 where did you find that?

by Anonymousreply 8105/04/2020

R81 At Amazon. Search copper and slate fountain.

by Anonymousreply 8205/04/2020

You want tacky, try an oil rain lamp.

My neighbor's dad had one. I thought they were cute. Not anymore.

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by Anonymousreply 8305/04/2020

Now I'm starting to want one, but I'm torn between buying the kind of simply tasteful thing I usually like, or one of these hilarious monstrosities.

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by Anonymousreply 8405/04/2020

Funny thread. Thanks OP. Your commentary is brilliant. The simple modern Japanese posted upthread are the best I've seen. I wonder if indoor fountains in general are the stoner's decorative cousin to the fish tank.

by Anonymousreply 8505/04/2020

R84 The blue one isn't bad. I've recently moved to California and see a lot of outdoor spaces that have whimsical colors, sculpture and lighting and it seems to work well a lot of times.

by Anonymousreply 8605/04/2020

They sound like someone is pissing in your sink.

by Anonymousreply 8705/04/2020

R85 That’s what I was thinking... a lot of them look like fish tank decorations crossed with parade floats.

by Anonymousreply 8805/04/2020

I have one similar at home. The glass orb floats and rolls on top of the stream and puts on a nice little light show at night.

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by Anonymousreply 8905/04/2020

R41- that pottery looks awesome- especially the tiki mugs. Can you explain how to turn one of those vessels into a fountain? I’m a bit confused...

by Anonymousreply 9005/05/2020

If I were 20 years younger, or if I had a beach house or something, I would totally get this fountain. But I have succeeded in banishing all tacky crap from my life and at this point I don't think I want to go back. I could make my own, I guess.

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by Anonymousreply 9105/05/2020

R89 Nothing lower than an indoor fountain shill.

by Anonymousreply 9205/05/2020

I kind of like this one.

Mother of God, what's wrong with me?

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by Anonymousreply 9305/05/2020

How about one of our big wet balls OP?

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by Anonymousreply 9405/06/2020

When only the best will do...

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by Anonymousreply 9505/06/2020

Rain lamps were cool, it was the stupid faux statue themes they put inside that took them down. And the outer shell ugly too. But concept was cool. What a lot of people didn't know is that the rain was actually mineral oil so it would drip slow. Here is a modern day version built into a wall of someone's house. I think this guy didn't know the oil trick, so he had to double up on the wire to slow it down.

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by Anonymousreply 9605/06/2020

Back in the 70s, L.A.’s San Fernando Valley was infamous for 1: being the hub of the adult film industry and 2: having the world’s largest rain lamp at the Topanga Mall:

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by Anonymousreply 9705/06/2020

I guess I could get a holy water font. The tackiness is somewhat forgivable, because it's holy!

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by Anonymousreply 9805/06/2020

I remember that r97. That one used oil. They have really cool ones now that use water and computer controlled droplets. Check this one out in Japan.

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by Anonymousreply 9905/06/2020

Busan is actually in South Korea, but yes it is cool!

by Anonymousreply 10005/07/2020

I like this one ...

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by Anonymousreply 10105/07/2020

This one looks like it was salvaged from Neverland Ranch:

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by Anonymousreply 10205/07/2020

In case anybody ever gets the idea of putting a large "real" fountain in their house, keep the REAL problem of having a large indoor body of water in mind: the water humidifies, requiring increasingly large-scale dehumidification to deal with the problem. This is why, if you fill your bathtub and leave it full with the bathroom door closed for a few days, the bathroom quickly gets "the smell" that says, "you have a large open container of water in this room".

Sometime in the 1970s, there was a builder in southwest Florida (Naples/Fort Myers/Cape Coral) who got the nutty idea of building mansions with large indoor water features (like, a 10 x 30+ foot indoor pond with waterfall between the foyer and living room, complete with bridge over the water between the two rooms). It looked really cool in advertising brochures, and was cool when you were touring the model home... but they were an absolute DISASTER in real life. After a few weeks, the whole area stank like a basement swimming pool.

There was even a class action lawsuit against the builder a few years later for failing to disclose that the fountains were actually drained every night after the model center closed, dehumidifiers were wheeled in and left running overnight, and the fountains were re-filled the next morning... precisely because if they didn't, the whole house started to smell like a dank moldy dungeon within a few days.

by Anonymousreply 10305/07/2020

I think that is highly dependent on where you live R103. In California where the weather can be really dry we NEED the humidify on in our place just to keep our skin from getting itchy and everything drying out. Plus a little water wall is not the same as some giant stagnate pond with a bridge. You are supposed to add a bit of bleach or other disinfectant that water if its not moving.

by Anonymousreply 10405/07/2020

Go big with the largest indoor waterfall in the world!

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by Anonymousreply 10505/07/2020

Oh dear god no. If I had an indoor fountain of any kind I would forever be thinking there was a plumbing leak somewhere destroying the house on a moment's notice. The mere thought of this....

by Anonymousreply 10605/07/2020

Newly arrived! Peacock fountain!

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by Anonymousreply 10705/13/2020

Damn you R107! I clicked on that and now it will remain in my Amazon viewed items history and horrify me endlessly!

by Anonymousreply 10805/13/2020

Oh hell you can build your own. Use your own lurid imagination and make a true masterpiece. You can be immersible pumps.

by Anonymousreply 10905/13/2020

Yes! DIY fountain is your best option OP. Here some suggestions.

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by Anonymousreply 11005/13/2020

Bad link, sorry

by Anonymousreply 11105/13/2020

This is in some guy's pool, but it shows what you can create at home with a little work :-)

One caveat, though, to anyone that's thinking about trying to use $10-25 servos and solenoid valves from China to build a homemade fountain like this... they absolutely can't take the beating of several hours per day of use. If this guy set it up to just run continuously for a few hours per day (say, for a pond in his front yard to impress the neighbors), it would absolutely have at least one broken valve or solenoid within a week, and would be mostly dysfunctional after a month. This is something you literally gather a crowd for, run once, and call it a night until the next time you power it up.

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by Anonymousreply 11205/14/2020

Another example of what can be accomplished by a DIY'er in his back yard

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by Anonymousreply 11305/14/2020

Newly arrived egg fountain (I like it).

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by Anonymousreply 114Last Thursday at 7:19 PM

I found one at a yard sale years ago that looked like a miniature version of the lions head fountains you often saw in English gardens and it was very detailed and well made but the plastic tube that went from the pump to the back of the fountain broke and it had been epoxyed into the back so I couldn't replace it so it ended up in the attic in a storage container.

by Anonymousreply 115Last Friday at 2:04 AM

How about one of these, or those?

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by Anonymousreply 116Last Saturday at 12:25 AM

Ok, no water coming out of peeholes, tits or assholes!

by Anonymousreply 117Last Saturday at 7:05 PM

Indoor wall fountain.

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by Anonymousreply 118Last Saturday at 7:30 PM

Mine was kind of like that R118 only it sat on the table and the water flowed from the lions roaring mouth not a spigot.

by Anonymousreply 119Last Saturday at 9:21 PM
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