My car’s battery is dead

Rub some flying ointment on it.

Geez, you people act like we had a nuclear holocaust. You've probably already been exposed Covid. Stop hiding under the bed.

OP, you know shouldn't let your car sit that long. I haven't really needed my car either now that I am working from home, but I drive it around every 2 weeks just to prevent that from happening.

You can call AAA and join (under $100) and they'll come and fix or tow it. Jeez some people are fucking helpless.

Drink 10 liters of bleach, stupid cunt. Pronto.

You should run the engine at least once a month to circulate the fluids, lubricate everything, and keep all the rubber stuff from drying out. But first get some jumpercables and charge up the battery. Then take the car on a short drive.

Is the virus also killing batteries now?!

You need to call AAA. They might be able to replace the battery right at your house. Otherwise they’ll tow it.

And as others have said, you need to drive the car regularly, at least once every two weeks for 10 miles or so. The battery will lose charge over time from just sitting, and the alternator can’t recharge it if the engine is never on and driven.

Do you not know how to jump a car battery?

Used to happen to me when I travelled and forgot to have someone start the car and use it for an errand. More than three weeks, especially in cold weather, seems a risk from my experience.

AAA will jump the battery or tow the car. They won't replace it.

A better plan: If you have an auto parts store nearby ask if they have someone who will deliver and replace your battery after work for $50 + the cost of the battery (that you can charge over the phone.) It's 15 minutes of someone's time so someone will likely offer to do it.

Maybe you just need a battery jump? Any auto store has jumper cable kits. You can even order online. It’s the kind of thing everyone should have in the trunk of their car.

R10 again: over six weeks, I'm assuming the battery is dead dead, but of course you should try jumping it if that's an option.

This is one of the reasons why I love having a manual transmission car. When the battery is dead I just push it down the driveway and make it start.

Get a jump and drive it around a little.

AAA does replace batteries in many cases.

No it's not dead dead. It's just drained. It'll crank find if you jump it. If you're car is near an electrical outlet you need to buy a slow charger to keep the battery charged during long idle periods.

I hadn't driven my car in 6 weeks and now all the wheels are making awful noises

Ask a friend or a neighbor with jumper cables to jumpstart it for you. Then drive it around for at least 30 minutes to ensure the battery is charged. Then start the car up every day for the next week and at least drive for five or ten minutes every day to keep that charge going. Or purchase your own jumper cables and ask someone to jumpstart it for you - then you will always have cables when you need them.

You can also purchase your own battery charger unit but I am sure they are expensive.

Inject a bottle of Lysol into the battery.

Going forward, I would run it weekly. Even if you just drive around the block a couple of times.

[quote] AAA will jump the battery or tow the car. They won't replace it.

Wrong.

I had my car refuse to start in the Target parking lot about a year ago and called my AAA. (I have a membership.)

About 40 minutes later, a van showed up, man gets out, checks under the car hood and says "Yep. It's the battery. Do you want to buy a new one?"

I ask price, and very briefly consider all factors and then say "Yes, please."

Turns out the van (white paneled van with AAA on the side which was dispatched from a local shop) has racks of batteries in the back.

Man removes old battery from my car, puts it on a rack in the van. Picks up new battery from a different rack in the van and installs it in the car. Then shuts the hood of the car.

Man brings clipboard and begins filling out paperwork. He says, "Doing the paperwork takes more time than installing the battery."

Paperwork and charge card info completed. Warranty information give to me. Man says "Goodbye". I say "Thank you and goodbye."

Man gets in van and drives away.

Aside from approximately 40 minute wait for the van to arrives (he was out on another call), the whole battery installation process probably took no more than 10-15 minutes.

I have had very good experiences with AAA. Well worth the yearly fee.

Because I am tiresome, I would like to point out that there are alternatives to AAA, and you might want to explore them if you're not aligned with their politics. It's probably cheaper anyway if you just add roadside assistance to your existing auto insurance policy.

OP call a local repair shop or where you have your car serviced if you don't have a friend who will give you a jump.

Just call AAA. They deal with dead batteries all the time.

[quote]I hadn't driven my car in 6 weeks and now all the wheels are making awful noises

You should check your tire pressures after the car has been sitting that long. They are probably all low.

AAA just calls one of their affiliated local to the caller shops, why not just call the local shop. AAA or the local shop will charge you money, if you have a friend with jumper cables it should be free.

Do you really think the OP has any friends? He hasn’t left his house in 6 weeks.

R21 you wuz scammed!

OP needs to find some lesbian friends.

Join AAA. Even the lowest membership will have someone come to your house and jumpstart it. Or they will replace the battery all for a fair price (maybe $100).

If you have your neighbor jump it, remember it’s running car RED POSITIVE BATTERY clamp to dead car RED POSITIVE BATTERY clamp then running car BLACK NEGATIVE BATTERY clamp to dead car METAL FRAME away from the battery, such as the metal frame where the hood clamps down. Make sure the cable clamps are separated before you do this!

It is important to drive around once a week, not just for the battery but also because we have ethanol in our gas which will turn to gummy varnish. That’s why we add Stabil to lawnmower and weedwhacker gas in the summer and completely drain all gas in the fall.

The car has probably caught the disease. I would stay away from it until they find a vaccine. You do NOT want to get sick after being so diligent.

In the first season of Gilligan's Island, the professor made a battery charger out of coconut shells and seawater to recharge the dead radio.

AAA is worth it for anyone with a car who does not do their own repairs.

But beware, AAA contracts with local tow shops in many cities. Sometimes the tow shop will send out guys who will only jump the car. If your battery is at the end of it's life, be ready to drive to a car repair place so they can change out the battery. And in these times, that means calling them to make sure they are actually open.

Jeez Louise, OP, just go to Amazon or Costco and buy a jump starter battery pack. Costs $50-$100, it's a lithium battery pack with clamps to attach to your battery posts. It's like a battery pack for your phone or laptop, just larger. Plug it into your house outlet to charge it, then go out to your car and jumpstart it.

Who the fuck is so stupid they don't know that you need to take your car out at least once a week and drive it around?

Do you have car insurance OP? You may have roadside assistance coverage included in your policy. Find out before paying to join AAA. If you don't mind my saying, you really should get a clue about these things (what to do in an emergency) if you are going to own a car.

r25 I will on Monday but the low tire light didn't come on so I thought they were okay.

And also, don’t just always take your car out for short trips. You have to do some longer drives once in a while or the exhaust system will wear out prematurely...because the temperature never gets high enough to burn off water in the system, leading to rust.

My car died and I called AAA, which sent someone to jump start the car.

The guy reminded me to drive for about 45 mins to charge up the battery.

I took the car out of the garage, but realized I had forgotten my wallet inside. Unfortunately my reflexes turned off the car so I could get my wallet...and, of course, it wouldn’t start again.

So I called AAA again. This time I made sure I didn’t turn it off.

I also bought a charger off Amazon after that

The shutdown order in my state permits pleasure driving, so that's a good justification for taking the car out for a drive. Look up your state's list of scenic byways, get out and enjoy the signs of spring.

Agreed R41, taking a scenic drive is a great way to spend a morning or afternoon during this shutdown. No traffic on the roads makes it even better.

Jesus Christ, helpless queen - learn some adult skills.

I'll jack you off for $75. Um, I mean jump you off.

“You can call AAA”

Or you can use those AAA batteries in your vibrating dildo to jump your Mini Cooper.