How would Ann Romano deal with COVID-19?

Dammit, COVID!

"Oh, David! I want you to hold me but...YOU CAN'T!!!"

Ann sobs and runs from room, her firmly pert breasts straining against her silk chemise.

She's blame Julie, the family screw-up.

Oh come on, she would blame Schneider as well, he’s a walking Petri dish carrier.

I Hate To Quarantine, I Love To Tap!

She would slap Miss Corona!!

She has experience with locking herself in a room away from others.

Hold my LCD display, David.

One day at a time, I suppose.

Ann Romano (angry soliloquy): Ahh, COVID-19, you thought you were pretty sneaky, huh? You thought you could just waltz into this apartment unannounced and make me and my daughters sick? You thought you could attack a single mother trying her best to raise her two daughters? You thought I was vulnerable? Well, let me tell you something, COVID-19. I'm not vulnerable! I'm ... oh, dammit ... who am I kidding? I AM vulnerable. Of course I'm vulnerable. Vulnerable and afraid .... yes, I'm scared! Is that what you want to hear, COVID-19? That's I'm scared of you? Well, you're damn right I'm scared of you! But I won't let you win! No, I won't let you threaten me or my daughters or our life ...

Barbara (entering the room): Mom, are you OK?

Ann: Oh, Barbara. ... Yes, I'm OK. ... I'm fine. We're all going to be just fine.

I feel it would involve Emmy-baiting speeches somehow.

Dammit Barbara! Dammit David! Dammit Julie!

She would think it the right thing to break quarantine and take Barbara and Julie along with her to a nursing home to entertain the poor unfortunate old people by singing overly dramatic broadway tunes to them and have the girls drag out that old Elton John and Kiki Dee chestnut.

[quote]She would slap Miss Corona!!

Slap her, Corona!

With difficulty! Schneider was always barging in when she was trying to self-isolate.

[quote]Ann sobs and runs from room, her firmly pert breasts straining against her [bold]shapeless cowl-neck sweater.[/bold]

FIXDED

Bonnie would demand Ginny contracts coronavirus, not Ann.

And dies from it.

Don't hold me David, I'm scared.

She sure wouldn't be selling cosmetics door to door the way she did in S1

Dammit Covid 19!

Runs through that tiny, shitty apartment, in a green cowlneck with her boobs flopping about and braless!

Wearing a ‘harvest gold’ face mask.

She would slow-jog to door and scream, “WE’RE UNDER QUARANTINE, DAMNIT!” when someone knocked.

Schneider would get a flowbee and do America a favor, shave that mushroom-cap of her hairstyle off.

Alex would sneak out to hang out with friends and Ann would confront him in a face mask .

The little queen would scream at her, “YOU ARE NOT MY MOTHER AND I HATE YOU.”

Then Ann would slap the shit out of him. Just pimp slap him across the living room and into a fern or some wicker or something.

She would tell Corona she had to leave with their 2 daughters so she could "find herself".

How is Latino Ann handling the corona virus, and are they pronouncing it with a rolling Spanish “R”? And is Froy safe?

In a dramatic 2-parter, Julie dates a COVID protester and moves into his van with him and a dozen others, eventually finding herself POZ and landing in jail when a protest goes wrong. Ann worries.

Barbara's clingy friend Melanie feels rejected when Corona doesn't even know she exists.

Ginny Wroblicki gets killed off in a very special episode by handling Ann's door knob.

Upon leaving the hospital after testing negative she would stop for a moment to do a jump, a la the season one credits.

R30 She'd jump up and fly away, glad to be rid of her annoying, grasping children.

Mack would be in a high risk group, so thank God it ended years ago.

Ann would quickly succumb to COVID in a very special episode that would end in an upbeat celebration of life event because "Hey: Mom would have wanted it this way. A song, a dance, a laugh!" Max and Julie sing and tap to an up tempo version of "Amazing Grace".

Bonnie would insist the annual tap-dance at the retirement home goes ahead, even though Ann tested positive just one episode prior.

She was almost as insistent as Linda Lavin at using the show to showcase her 'talents'.

With ample amounts of 'Aw...' and 'Come on...' at the start of every sentence.

She was truly awful wasn’t she? I guess one of the reasons I kept watching was because my Catholic friends were forbidden to watch by their church, so there was something that seemed so subversive and naughty about seeing it each week knowing they couldn’t.

[quote]handling Ann's door knob

Pics please.

Oh Christ! In looking for a picture for R37 of Ms. Franklin’s knockers, I stumbled over this, the authentic sweater she wore on the cover of People Magazine. What’s truly interesting is they pair it with a white T-shirt, which they unfortunately did not do in real life.

R37 Here are Ms. Franklin’s easy access “doorknobs.”

She would be so afraid to be infected she would start ritually slapping herself.

How can it be that Ann's infamous sweater is not already hanging in a museum or at least in a Planet Hollywood?! How can it just be sitting, for sale, on some third-rate, geo-cities-looking website? Get this thing in the Smithsonian next to Fonzie's jacket and Archie Bunker's chair!!

She'd be forced to cut her own hair.

Like she didn't already.

R42 That was before Florida Evans broke her "styling tool".

Barbara Cooper turns sixty tomorrow. She will celebrate on Today with Hoda and Savannah.

R41 You are right, the Smithsonian owns nothing of One Day at a Time, you are welcome to make a purchase and donate it and hope for the best that they see it as a fitting addition to their collections.

In consolation know that they do have the iconic headress worn by Jamie Farr playing Klinger from M.A.S.H. They also have a jar of olives from the set, I assume for Hawkeye and residents of the swamp to put in their martinis after a tough day of operating.

OK, I’m officially bored by this pandemic and continue the comb through “America’s Attic,” the Smithsonian, to find what else they own that is NOT Ann Romano’s iconic sweater.

I’m am happy to report that they have the dress that Carol Burnett wore in the Gone With the Wind parody on her show. When she utters the line “I just saw it in the window and had to have it!” we were in stitches for days and it has always been my go to line when recalling the show.

They also own Jerry Seinfeld’s puffy shirt and a full Handmaid’s outfit worn by Offred.

She would have it killed off in a car crash and then raise his son for a couple of seasons.

In the pilot she was a nurse.

R46 Genius comedy, but the line was "Thank you, I saw in the window and just couldn't resist it!" I wonder if Bob Mackie created that thing - he was a genius.

She would have left with Johnny Fever to run her own agency in London.

She would WHOP on her feet!

[quote] I wonder if Bob Mackie created that thing - he was a genius.

He did!