Who's your pretend husband?

My pretend husband is Jeff Bezos. I also pretend to divorce him for shitloads of cash and luxury homes in the settlement, but not before I enjoy all the perks and publicity from being his wife.

Keep your hands off my man!

Not pretend. My future ex-husband is Corona Cutie, Dr. Joseph Fair.

My pretend husband is his wig.

Siempre Senor Meloni

A guy at work - an Armenian God who is beyond nice.

Jon Hamm.

Particularly in his Draper persona.

Quietly powerful alpha with a huge cock? Yes, please.

Chris Cuomo.

Keanu Reeves

All the best, always, from me and my husband, Mark Wahlberg, on the occasion of both of our second marriages. Rhea can take her $150 million, the brats, and go.

Brad Pitt

Dean Winchester.

But NOT Jensen Ackles cuz he's a homophobic douchebag, as is well known to DataLounge.

Paul Rudd

He looks really different in OP's pic.

Has he had a facelift?

Now? My President!

Simon Baker

Dylan Moran. And since no one knows who the hell he is, the field is clear. Yea!!

Taron

Tony

My briefs with Andrew...I mean, my daily briefing with Andrew.

I've gotta go easy on him - he's exhausted after the first two or three times in the morning...

Alexander Skarsgaard. sigh.

Jose Andrés

The white guy with the yellow skin.

Abe Vigoda. Yes, I am a pretend widower.

For the moment anyway. I like that he's a perv and a dick.

Myself. I'm 46 and don't lust after men I don't know. And that goes double for the men I do know.

Classical musician Andreas Ottensamer.

Bravo, R21 and R22.

There's a petition online for Fauci to be People's "Sexiest Man Alive" this year. Personally, I think it should be shared between the doctor and our Governor Cuomo.

R29 I love that story.

Jake

Ari Melbah.

(R33) Jake is mine! But I'm willing to share if you're with Henry.

Matthew Goode

Great choice, R36.

Here's another vote for Ari Melber, who actually touched my shoulders as we posed for a photo. Sigh!

Ari's even sexier in person.

Kyle Chandler

My pretend husband is also my pretend architect...

r35, I called him first. And I'm not one bit interested in Henry. My next choice would be Julian Morris.

For you R36 and R37.

Matthew Goode is .......well, see photo below.

(Although Simon Baker is my go-to guy, Matthew is next in line....)

James May, British TV personality, formerly of "Top Gear" and currently of ":The Grand Tour".

Sure, he's not good-looking, but he's tall, and hilarious and brilliant and weird and can make anything! Or make anything into anything, like this "amphibious car"! He's crossed African deserts and the Andes in junkers, plays the harshichord, built an entire house out of Legos, invented a cannon for shooting currant buns, etc. My dream man.

[quote]Jake

From State Farm? What is he wearing?

[quote]Alexander Skarsgaard. sigh.

I'll see your Alexander and raise you a Gustaf.

Anderson Cooper is my pretend husband. His laugh is adorable.

Alexander Skarsgaard, may we share him, R24? And General Joe Dunford. Ouch.

[quote] My pretend husband is also my pretend architect...

Teehee. He’s also a plastic surgery!

R45, he doesn’t have a laugh. He has a giggle.

R43, he seems like a British MacGyver.

[quote] Anderson Cooper is my pretend husband. His laugh is adorable.

I hate to yuck anyone's yum, but AC seems insufferable to me. Pissy, prissy, high-maintenance, etc.

In the "Who Has Slept with a Celebrity Thread," (thread # 1, I think) posters described him as a pillow princess.

R43 He sounds like Bill Weir. CNN put him on the back-back burner a couple years ago. He had a great adventurous series The Wonder List but it got lost after Anthony Bourdain's death. I still don't understand why they keep replaying Bourdain's series and ignoring Weir's. Regardless -- my pretend husband is Bill Weir.

R50 He sounds delightful! I would happily baby him.

[quote] Regardless -- my pretend husband is Bill Weir.

I'd forgotten about him. He's not my type, but I did like his show and persona. What did happen to him?

Used to be Ricky Martin, until he had les bébés.

Pass.

Matt Bomer

Fu Op I've been saying Jason is my husband for years!

How very dare you

British actor, Marc Elliott.

My friend just asked if brother-husbands are fine or if we have to commit to just one. He's waffling between Derek Carr, with which he already has pretend children, and the womanly assed Matt Damon who has plenty to grab onto back there.

Why would a gay guy want a womanly-assed guy?

Because he lokes ass, r59. Not everyone wants to look at a flat-assed pancake.

*likes

r50 AC is a well bred Vanderbilt with a million dollar annual income and a gigantic NYC residence. I bitch is crazy to act like he's no catch. He's a bottom that's always ready to go since he sticks to basically a diet of vitamins and juices.

Chris Messina.

Aaron Tyler-Johnson. I'd munch on his hole for hours and suck his big dick till his balls were empty. He can bring the kids over to visit once a week, but they can only stay for a night and the wife is not allowed inside our home.

Always and forever, Billy Campbell. He was my first tv crush when he was gay Luke on DYNASTY. 60 something and still hot,

I know he get's moody, but as Paul Walker's widower, I needed a more cynical man to get me through those tough times. Many of you are probably thinking, well r66 you're in the throws of your youth, why lock yourself down to another hunk? Well, I need to be loved and Jamie needs my support. Especially after those terrible sex movies. Trust me he wasn't acting, he is the jealous type, so don't even think of hitting on me when he's around. I know it's hard for him to be seen with me in public. I get so much attention, yet he's the former model. People always look confused that a guy like me would be with a guy like Jamie, but I'm not shallow and I look past his minor physical faults. He does the same with me. Even though I've gained a couple of bounds since the baby, an Alaskan Husky we adopted, I know he thinks I'm just as sexy in an XXL as I was as a twink that wore a size medium.

We are so blessed to have each other. Now I must get back to my husbear!

James Wolk forever and always.

Wait, Jason Bateman is MY husband

Fuck r67 i forgot about Wolk. I just need to start a cult and cycle through some your men.

Not really pretend as I will try to inveigle my way into his royal court soon: King Jigme Khesar Namgyel Wangchuck.

Everybody have fun tonight. Everybody Wangchuck tonight.

Pass. He comes off as much too smug for my tastes.

Taika Waititi. Yes, I have a partner. No, he doesn't know about this big "romance."

Jonah Hauer-King. Dimples get me every time.

Oh r43 didn’t you read that your intended caused quite a rumpus a few years back at an overseas airport when flying back to London. The poor dear was booked in economy the flight was full and he treated check-in staff to a full “do you know who I am?” melt down as he remonstrated that he should be in Club class (BA flight). The really sad thing is they moved him to Club and bounced another passenger to make room.

So Abe Vigoda is really dead now. Sad. He had a hot ass but he couldn’t live forever.

I had this really weird dream about Justin Bieber, weird because while I like some of his music, I don't like him that much. I find him whinny, immature and obnoxious, I just hate his tattoos. Anyway in my dream Justin had a huge crush on me, we kissed and cuddled but nothing sexual. It was one of the nicest dreams I have ever had and I have tried repeatedly to have it happen again, it was that nice but I just can't seem to recreate it.

Justin is probably one of the last people I would ever want anything to do with in real life, I am more of an Alexander Skarsgård type of guy.

Bruce Jenner.... oops, too late. Ummm Armie Hammer pre-Mohawk

I'm going to become a Mormon so I can marry both Dr. Fair and the newest Covid Cutie, Dr. Bright.

Joe Manganiello. David Miur is my back up plan.

R80, learn to spell your back up’s last name properly.

He must have changed it so that the wife doesn't find them.

Brandon McMillan from Lucky Dog. Woof!

I am a true queen

William Hurt

R85, many people have said he’s an awful human being. Would you really want that in your life?

I like British daddies with huge uncut cocks, so

it's Richard Quest for me

"In the throws of your youth"

Oh dear, are you throwing baseballs, footballs, or javelins?

He can keep those yellow chompers r78. Hard pass.

I hope that you’d have him perks toy gagged with his annoyingly loud voice. He’d probably like that though.

I mean r74.

My pretend husband and pretend daddy is Andrew McCabe.

The things I'd do to every inch of that man......

Always had a thing for Donnelly Rhodes, esp. during the Dutch years. Imagine having that waiting for you when you got home.

Viggo Sorensen is my porn crush. Just my ideal look for a Czech boy. He can deep throat a cock and take it in his hole. I

The vid is NSFW.

Taika Waititi? Yes, I would.

R94, does he have “an” Onlyfans?

Great choice R83!

I'll take Dr. Chris the Pet Vet, then!

Definitely James Wolk. Look at that smile. I love that, while so many of his contemporaries think that frowning and brooding is sexy, he rocks the smile. He just seems like a good guy.

Chris Pine. He seems to have a good sense of humor on top of being absolutely beautiful. Plus, I get the feeling he could throw a great fuck.

Mine is Prince Harry without that mole attached to him.

Are you being sarcastic, R100?

If not, YUCK.

Aaron Eckhart, of course.

R65 Billy Campbell!! He was my first love! Thanks for the memories and that great clip. He still looks great. He was so sweet in Crime Story -- wearing white socks and such a baby face.

Monty Clift, I'm his noble steed.

R92 OMG I forgot about Andy and those glasses! Now I want him again. I bet he has a perfectly hairy chest and tummy, too.

My next husband needs to be somehow illicitly connected to the republican administration, It’s the only way I can seem to get a stimulus loan for my offshore interests.

Liam, now and forever....

[quote] Monty Clift, I'm his noble steed.

Would you take him after the accident as well?

Gary Cole.

He’s tough, sexy, and fucking hilarious.

Woof!

R105 Yes. And you know his clothes are ironed and fit him perfectly, even his tighty whities...I bet he has a beautiful cock that is perfectly shaped, too. Tight, swollen knob.

R108, Before, after and in death!

Another for Christopher Meloni. Was, is, and seemly forever hot. And funny. Gotta have a sense of humor.

Yup, r96 and he's featured on BelAmi's new reality TV/internet thing.. Years age he knocked up a girl from Thailand. It appears he lives in a studio apartment so I assume she took the baby home. He makes money doing photography and porn. Once Trump lifts this immigration ban, I can be reunited with my husband.

Viggo has some explaining to do after I found this video of him hooking up with someone else. I'm happy to see him paying safe with the mask on but my heart weeps at the betrayal.

R65 and R103, I saw Billy Campbell back in 2003 live onstage at the San Diego Shakespeare Festival as Benedick in Shakespeare's "Much Ado About Nothing" with Dana Delany. He was adorable in the part, looked dreamy, moved well onstage and spoke the language like he was born to it - a very accomplished charmer. Dana was too shrewish and contemporary as Beatrice and didn't lighten up.

My dream husband has always been Jeremy Northam. Has been for decades since back in his "Gosford Park" days. He is 58 now but I would still take him.

This one.

Aaron Tveit

What’s the deal with Jeremy Northam? Is he family or just another eccentric Englishman who refuses to marry and have kids.

My quarantine husband is Ryan Humiston. Normally it’s George Eads.

[italic]With a single course he can choke a horse.

Baby, you won't know where to start!

Oh, I'm an hors d'oeuvre, A jelly preserve

Not in the recipe book,

And what's more

Timmy, he can cook! [/italic]

R11 Yes, Andrew McC is perfectly groomed and his clothes fit perfectly. But over all of that, it's those fucking glasses! I want to slip those off his beautiful face and put them on the nightstand.

[quote] I want to slip those off his beautiful face and put them on the nightstand.m

Between your two twin beds.

R121 I want him to keep only those glasses and his socks on when he fucks me.....

R122 / R123 Oh, yes, you boys nailed it!

R122 Twin beds so we only have to make messy on one and then can move to the other for cuddling and sleep, sigh.

R123 Definitely socks on -with knee garters! But the glasses have to be on the nightstand so his eyes are a little off focus...

R121 R122 R124 I love you all!