Does anyone else find American friendliness off-putting?

OP, can you say what your cultural background is? What country are you from?

R1 I'm actually white American myself. I am of the very introverted type and I think I have autistic tendencies.

To be honest, you actually sound PARANOID, OP

Suspicious of what? What do you think they're plotting to do to you when they ask how your day has been?

R3 is correct.

It's all fake, so there's nothing to be paranoid about. Nobody really cares about each other.

R4 As if they are trying to sell me something or 'get' something out of me. And I also feel like it is not honest.

It's a commom behavior in a lot of countries, OP. America isn't uniquely special or uniquely evil, or unique at all.

OP, I was a bit startled at first few encounters with American tourists here in Europe many years ago, but then soon noticed the pattern "It's just American way". Still remember my "WTF, why is this total stranger/pair (on train, plane, hotel breakfast buffet etc.) all of a sudden summarizing their life story and why they are here and then pushing me to do the same!?". On couple occasions it was amusing to see how Americans who had been living in Europe for long time take the same reserved European attitude when bothered by American tourists to reciprocate. I also find mirroring strange.

[quote]As if they are trying to sell me something or 'get' something out of me.

They aren't.

[quote]And I also feel like it is not honest.

Who gives a shit how honest it is? The whole point of polite friendliness is to lessen awkwardness and distance in social interaction, to make contact easier and more pleasant. It's not a great conspiracy or a scam. I'll take it over the stone-faced reserve that's common in some other countries any day.

The only thing I resent about this American "friendliness" is when people who you are bound to meet again in a professional situation (because this is how you met them) disclose their marital status, children (and even faith sometimes!) and expect you to do the same. I find that incredibly rude and very American, not in a good way. I know, I shouldn't be closeted at work, but somehow it works better for me that way. Still, this invasion of privacy - I find it distateful and grating. I won't mind if it's while on holiday - but in a professional setting, that's a big no-no.

Not at all. I live in London now and found Americans much more friendly. I miss that.

The foreigners just give dirty looks at strangers because they have shitty teeth!

R12 What the fuck does this garbage even means?

Marital status, children, and faith, R10? American here. I’d find questions on those topics intrusive and most people I know would feel the same way. There’s a big difference between friendliness and prying.

And btw, I’ve been asked about those things way more often in other countries than I have here at home. Not so much in Western Europe but elsewhere, absolutely.

OP:

Yes, Americans are not like the British who aren't the least bit prejudice... They hate everybody

Not all Americans are that way. Come to New York City. Or rural Maine, where you’ll be treated with aloof mistrust.

I'm an American - and I wonder if what's going on is the combination of smugness/arrogance plus stupidity. I'm sure every country has its share of stupid people - but Americans don't think they are. Well, something like that.

I think it comes from being so overly proud of your country, being a superpower and better than everywhere else. I think that's a pretty common self-opinion. So there's not much humility and/or shame - they just open up with anybody because they feel as good as everybody else. Or even better.

Most people in other countries aren't like that. I'm sure there are exceptions - on both sides. But it's a weird thing - having a religious nut whose proud to be a Baptist or Pentecostal or whatever. It's just odd, to a Western European - or maybe any modern person. Ditto being proud to be well-off or rich. How gauche can you be, sheesh.

American here, currently living in a country where people are constantly suspicious of others and are not friendly in their basic day-to-day interactions and it's really not pleasant. I'll take the American way any day.

I heard someone say "Americans look at you with fake smiles, Russians look at you with real hatred"

Oh seriously, who the fuck cares, OP? I am pretty sure you have more pressing things to complain about besides the fact that people are too fucking nice to you in your daily interactions. For example, you could complain about the fact that you are a friendless idiot.

I forget which one - but a BBC reporter was assigned to the US for a few years. He said the surprising thing about Americans was how charming they are. But he was shocked when he went to a party and everybody was served hot dogs. I think there were kids there and he thought that giving them hot dogs was ok, but to give them to adults? Only in America, I guess.

I lived in Gothenburg, Sweden and hated it. No one will talk to you. Even the bartenders look at you strangely if you try to converse with them. I remember asking a question to someone in a supermarket (do you know where I can find this type of cheese) and she scuttled away, frightened.

Strange country and it's no wonder they binge drink and are only sociable when drinking. even Swedes joke that they have no idea how they have a higher than average birth rate given their social behaviors.

Some asshole European got into OPs head and convinced him he's less human than they are because of his fake American friendliness. Now he's seeking reassurance that either the steteotype isn't true or that he's one of the good Americans who's an exception. This is a pattern with these threads.

I lived in Ireland a year - and I found the Irish to be even friendlier than the Americans I was accustomed to (and I'm in the Deep South). An earthier, more jaded attitude, in general, but just as chatty - and more open.

Tic Tok

Oh and I knew a foreign exchange student in her late teens from Medellin, Colombia, and she found Americans much colder than her countrymen back home.

Americans and their over-familiarity and "friendliness" also stems from living in such angry, violent country. They believe that a cheerful, amiable demeanor will defuse potential combative situations.

"I'm American - we hug." - Meghan Markle, trying to hug Kensington Palace staff.

Later she was known to be throwing cups of hot tea at staff, causing said staff to quit and BRF to go into damage control mode.

And certainly her ill, elderly father, to whom she owes everything, is not the recipient of her hugs.

Yes they are fake assholes mostly.

Being an anglophone expat, I now have a lot of social contact with Americans. Two things I find difficult...

One, already mentioned, being the recipient of unasked-for confidences from American strangers, and being expected to reciprocate in kind.

Two, after a pleasant casual meeting an American will often suggest that we get together at a later date. But when I have contacted the to do this, they have no interest whatever in doing so.

I'll take fake friendliness over authentic rudeness ANY FUCKING DAY!

[quote]Not all Americans are that way. Come to New York City. Or rural Maine, where you’ll be treated with aloof mistrust.

Are you kidding? Walk around New York on a bright sunny day and you'll talk to people (strangers) all day....even on a dark smoggy day...on the bus, waiting for the elevator, at the coffee shop.

Gurl, NO!

[quote] I lived in Gothenburg, Sweden and hated it. No one will talk to you. Even the bartenders look at you strangely if you try to converse with them. I remember asking a question to someone in a supermarket (do you know where I can find this type of cheese) and she scuttled away, frightened.

Right and in America you'll very likely have a nice friendly chit-chat if you want to.

Yes, it's extremely annoying. After a while you just want to tell people to fuck off.

YOU do, R35.

I love England. I know I won't come back for a very long time, but how I miss them.

OP: I am of the very introverted type and I think I have autistic tendencies.

Really? Would we recognize any of your paintings?

R33, I mean, I talk to people all day long in NYC, because that’s the way I am. But if you’re another way, people will leave you the hell alone.

And the way New Yorkers chat with strangers is distinctly different from the way people chat with strangers. New Yorkers aren’t sunny and bubbly and asking how you are, the way a Southern frau would. It’s more of a shared bitching.

Latinos and southeast Asians are the most warm and friendly people anywhere.

American born son of European immigrants. Believe me, the American way is much healthier mentally. The reserve and keeping up appearances of Europe is a dead culture for a reason. I learned through analysis how debilitating it is to avoid openness - and how freeing it is to get away from the whole embarrassment and hiding of anything personal.

I have a preference about the world, so I must have a mental disorder that makes me special!

[quote]I mean, I talk to people all day long in NYC, because that’s the way I am.

This is the problem we're talking about, r39.

[quote]I learned through analysis how debilitating it is to avoid openness

R41, not wanting cheery, cheesy chit chats all day long with complete strangers you've just met and will never meet again is not "avoiding openess".

As a gay man who isn't in the closet, but not immediately identifiably gay (apparently), I find probing questions as to whether I am married, have a girlfriend, have children really off-putting, sometimes even from gay people!

When I moved to the Big City I liked that people kept to themselves and used restraint. When my smalltown midwest parents visited me and we went out and about, they would talk to EVERYbody. I would cringe as strangers looked like they'd been groped.

I came down with a fever while visiting London and the shopgirl was incredibly starchy and unhelpful. I had to track her down to get her to show me the medicine aisle.

I started laying it on really thick, she was annoying me so much. (“Well, which one would YOU pick if you weren’t feeling well?” / “I really couldn’t say.” / “Oh, you can say...I don’t mind!” / (silence) / “I mean, what if you got a fever from a botched... procedure?”)

Then I was opening the packet while she rang me up and I chirped, “Would you like some?”

She icily declined. So I just left 2 pills by the register. And laughed for the rest of the day.

I was pleasantly surprised when I lived on the East Coast how chatty New Yorkers are with strangers. I think people everywhere in the US bitch together though.

NYC friendliness / openness is the best. I read somewhere that the right to privacy in public is a condition of urban living. So if someone tries to engage you in NYC, it’s perfectly fair to ignore them or tell them to go away. But if you’re in the mood or find them interesting, you have the option to engage.

I agree the saccharine, mindless chit chat of rural American south can be annoying. But I would choose NYC friendliness over London / Paris coldness any day.

Rolls eyes at R5.

One thing I like about living in France, is that, outside of the cities, if you pass someone on the street, you both acknowledge each other's presence by a simple greeting. Everyone does this including children.

[quote]Does anyone else find American friendliness off-putting?

No, if you come from North America or South America. The "expectation" of friendliness is the de facto setting for many regions across the Americas, even if many people do not achieve that ideal.

I do prefer it to the coldness and biter attitude of many European and Asian countries.

It's mainly the South of England where people are very unfriendly.

In the North of England, Wales, Scotland most people are OK (not US level but pleasant).

You find the same thing in most Countries though, the least friendly place is usually the Capital.

Horrible to say this but I look at most people now like they are probably a Trump supporter whether they are or not so I am not very friendly anymore. Whereas I use to talk to everybody possibly in the annoying way that OP depicts. However I found most people responded in kind. I call it charm.

It is all lipstick on their ugly pig of hatred and bigotry.

I'm American, and Texan, and I loathe all the "so what do you do?" questions. I don't judge people on their jobs as I've found that a person's occupation doesn't necessarily make them more interesting or anything special. I've met philosophical, well read plumbers that were far more interesting than any academic or Ivy League educated person, most of whom are full of themselves and dry and boring as a result. When asked this question my answer is a "as little as possible". This same question usually accompanies "married, kids, in a relationship?".............drives me fucking crazy and I know people are trying to make small talks.

Out of curiousity though, what do Europeans normally ask or do they not even talk?

[quote]I came down with a fever while visiting London and the shopgirl was incredibly starchy and unhelpful.

Worst customer service I ever had was when I was in London. Some surly faced young female waited on me at a hotel restaurant I was forced to stay at due to a delayed flight. I was asking about a few things on the menu and she never answered just shrugged. "would you recommend this or that?" "shrug"

I find it to be a nuisance insofar as I am fairly introverted and not given to chitchat with strangers. I would take it over the cold rudeness I've experienced elsewhere.

I like the Japanese approach - very polite in necessary interactions and then they leave you alone unless you're buds. Generally.

[quote]It is all lipstick on their ugly pig of hatred and bigotry.

You're a troll, sweetie. Hatred and bigotry is not a peculiarly American. Last time I heard the "n" word used was by a Scandanavian.

[quote] I'm American, and Texan, and I loathe all the "so what do you do?" questions. I

That's the polite way for people to gauge how much money you're worth.

Shut up r29, you miserable cunt. Hijacking the thread with the same shit. Every thread is not an excuse for the anti MM and Harry trolls to jump in. Go and deep throat a cactus.

[quote]Scandanavian.

Scandinavian...ugh, no reading glasses on

The fake small talk is their way to size you up. It is more than rude, it is predatory. I am an American and will cut your ass off when you start up with that bullshit.

In my experience with Europeans, the most noticeable thing was how reserved they can be in public. I accompanied my sister in a business trip to the Netherlands, and while we were at a restaurant discussing at conversation level about where we should sit, small group of people noticed us, got up and moved to the far end of the seating area. We weren't loud, at least by American standards, and I was really surprised at how offended they seemed. When we were at the Rijksmuseum, I'd whisper in my sister's ear so as not to be rude, but some dude walked up to me, spoke in Dutch tersely and walked away. Before the trip was even half over, I became hyper-conscious of myself in any enclosed social environment.

When I was in Norway, I experienced the same thing, although not quite as bad. Europeans seem highly averse to the relaxed and casual approach Americans have towards conversation and social interaction.

R49 Well, people are extremely cold in London but not in Paris and i lived in both countries. Parisians won't ignore you if you ask them something, they are much more smiling, warmer (much sexier), than Londoners. Two different worlds.

[quote] In my experience with Europeans, the most noticeable thing was how reserved they can be in public.

Europeans are definitely not culturally monolithic. This icy, reserved behavior is certainly not true of Italians, for instance.

Odd, Usually when seeing or being around other Europeans here, say in Palm Springs, they are loud, obnoxious, chatty and very outgoing.

I remember a conversation with a French intellectual who opined that the facile friendliness of Americans just seemed shallow and superficial. The ever present smile just annoyed him.

But then in France he's less aware of the sing-songy and relentless "merci madame, merci monsieur" as you leave a store. It's all culture, and as we are raised in a culture we don't perceive the norms ingrained in us.... other culture's norms are "off-putting" or misunderstood, misread.... hence "multi-cultural competency" a skills set for business, education, and social science.

People from the United States are famous for their friendliness and extroversion. It charms many non-US people, and irritates many others.

It's just our culture--there's nothing to be done about it. All of our ancestors, no matter where we came from (unless we are Native Americans), had to move here and start over--so it cultivated in all of us an enormous need to be friendly to strangers.

I like it when its genuine and NOT intrusive. But when it's clear someone is "too nice", that really makes me feel uncomfortable. Because it's obvious its fake and that the person just wants something.

I think differences in humor get lost in translation. Certain European cultures really prize sarcasm and dry, nihilistic humor as a means of wit and communication. This can come across as very rude and boorish if you're not used to it. On the other hand, to them, Americans can come across as overly-earnest and wide-eyed at best, naive and fake at worst.

Say, OP. You sound lonely. Why don’t we get together after this plague is over for some coffee?

There's this toxic pit of vipers where Americans are at their hissiest, swishiest friendliness. They just will. not. shut. up.

And they EGG EACH OTHER ON!

... as they sit in their food stained caftans chuckling and cackling at their own wit.

R47, your problem was trying to get the girl whose job it is to staff the till to abandon her post just for you and show you around the aisles, when there are other staff for that.

They sneak right up on you . . .

I have a friend who's just the kind of phony OP's kvetching about, always closing phone calls with "love you," but not meaning it. He was born in Canada, however.

Americans in the Bay Area are not too friendly. They are cold and distant, in an aloof European manner and a suspicious New England way. Weird. Southern Californians are much more outgoing and friendly. I prefer So Cal.

OP would die in Mexico. People are naturally open and outgoing and friendly there. Hell, it's the only place I've been in a steam room where cruisers coming in say "Good evening" and those leaving say "Good night" after a little stroking. That took some getting used to. Everywhere else, you just get cum on your toes.

All this complaining about friendliness is baffling to me. The cashiers at Trader Joe's (too forward, too intrusive), etc. If you're complaining about salespeople, that's their job, to be "friendly" and sell stuff. Why demand some type of sincerity? This is all just social lubricant. People just trying to make each day a little bit easier, with less open hostility.

I'm an introvert and sensitive to my surroundings, but this just sounds ridiculous to me. Get over it. Say, "No thank you, I'm not interested," and move on.

R79, Seattle is even more unfriendly. Unsurprisingly, the city has a large population of people with Northern European descent.

R59 Bon Viviant

R81, Seattle is the most hostile city ever--must be the Scandinavian blood. It is probably the most difficult big city in America to make friends in. At least with the natives. Everyone who lives there succumbs to the freeze eventually.

R83 Why bother with the natives? The immigrants are where all the fun and energy are

R84, but from what I've heard from people who live there, EVERYONE who moves there eventually succumbs to the freeze.

Too many nerds with poor social skills. It's been a disaster letting them run the world...damn this IT crowd.

Americans love defining people and putting them in their own narrow categories. It makes things easier for them, without considering the people that they like to define. They even like to do it in other countries.

R59 Why would Scandinavians vist Mound LA?

[quote] Americans love defining people and putting them in their own narrow categories.

Just Americans?

Europeans perfected the fine art of this, often to rather gruesome end-results.

The friendliness is not monolithic. NYC has, as others pointed out, a fairly talkative and open population, even if they're not warm and fuzzy. It's not unusual for complete strangers to strike up a conversation with you. The south has more of an intrusive friendliness and the Midwest to an extent as well, though they can both be really helpful if you need it. SoCal has a casual friendliness, but not quite as curious about others as Southerners or Midwesterners. New England is generally polite but very reserved. If you're really uncomfortable with any warmth or small talk from strangers, go to Washington DC. All you will get is silence and creepy frozen glares from the snotty populace.

Namaste.

Seattle was frozen before the nerds got there. I lived there from 1978-1981. Least favorite place on earth, because of the freeze. Washington, DC, OTOH, I found perfectly friendly. Same with New York and LA.

A propos of nothing, I suppose, but John F Kennedy said that Washington DC had the charm on the North and the efficiency of the South.

Seattle is weird for a variety of reasons and agreed it is full of nerds and geeks and people who don't want to socialize with others.

SF and DC very similar vibes. People are only nice when they think someone is at their level and/or can do something for them.

I have to agree I don't find NYers rude or mean at all, and yes, they are surprisingly open and real. LA open and fun, but yeah, shallow.

Awesome thread.

* charm OF the North

R93 Haha. Spot on.

I found Washington, DC, to be friendly. San Francisco, not friendly. My short trip to NYC, friendly people, IMO.

I'd like to push everyone I knew in Seattle off the Aurora Bridge.

[quote]R76 your problem was trying to get the girl whose job it is to staff the till to abandon her post just for you and show you around the aisles, when there are other staff for that.

As I recall, the shopgirl and I were the only two people in the store. If there was indeed someone else on the floor she could have directed me to them.

I think the people in the Deep South are fake friendly to you just to trick you into going to church with them. I'm white-ethnic and I was asked to church SO MANY TIMES in a creepy way that doesn't happen anywhere else.

In America, when someone you don't like says "Let's do lunch!", don't worry. They will never, ever invite you to lunch.

On the friendliness of New Yorkers... years ago I volunteered to make cold calls for a political campaign and ended up working several states. Michiganders and Texans were vicious and hair-trigger angry, Oregonians were depressed and deeply creepy, and New Yorkers were friendly and happy to chat about the candidate regardless of whether they were a supporter. Wonderful people to talk to, almost to a fault. Really changed my perception of them.

[QUOTE]One thing I like about living in France, is that, outside of the cities, if you pass someone on the street, you both acknowledge each other's presence by a simple greeting.

You get this in Albuquerque and Santa Fe too. Coming from NY I was kinda shocked. At first I thought that maybe they were mistaking me for some local celebrity.

Do you smoke a lot of weed, OP?

[quote]I'm sure every country has its share of stupid people - but Americans don't think they are. Well, something like that.

No stupid person in any country knows that they're stupid. It's part of the affliction and not limited to Americans.

[quote]Seattle is weird for a variety of reasons and agreed it is full of nerds and geeks and people who don't want to socialize with others.

Parts of Ohio are also like this. What northern Ohio in particular has in common with Seattle is the weather, so I'm thinking that the effects of seasonal depression and year-round rain have shaped how the people of certain regions socialize.

Minneapolis and the rest of the state are also known for having a "freeze" towards outsiders--Minnesota nice. And it's another very German/Scandinavian state. Hmmmm.

If you wanted to give America an enema you'd stick the nozzle in TexASS.

R65 Totally true! The French in Paris are so much more open. However London is only 35 minutes from Paris by taking the ferry and 3 hours by Eurostar! Besides, I noticed that those who denigrate Paris and the French are often English or jealous. I mean this city is the most visited in Europe, and it creates a lot of envious. Anyway, I loved every day I spent in Paris when I was an expat!

...And yes Parisians are hot. Especially in bed!

Pretty much worked with non-Americans my whole life. In my case, I was told that Americans were cold and lonely; the friendliness and positive attitudes were seen as fake. This held true, with variations, across Latin, European, Russian and East Asian cultures. (Was surprised by the latter: Americans cold compared to you guys!)

Because I am a non-native American, perhaps they were honest, perhaps they were just trashing Americans. Re variations: Latin perceive the loneliness more, Europeans focus on the coldness, Russians and East Asians note the hypocrisy.

R109, depending upon where those Europeans were from, they are hardly the most qualified ones to focus upon anybody else's "coldness!"

R110, I was just going to say the same thing. Eastern Europeans thinking we are cold? I think I read somewhere that Eastern Europeans, aside from Albanians/Kosovars, smile less than anyone else in the world. I wouldn't be surprised--smiling at random strangers and being over-friendly is thought of as coming across as "insane" in their cultures (not to mention, "stupid American"). And East Asians on our hypocrisy? HA! From people I have talked to, Koreans come across as the most racist individuals in the world. My ex-boyfriend, a black guy, talked about how horrible his experience was in South Korea. He was repeatedly stalked and even chased out of places there. He was even followed on his way to his hotel a few times. Very fucked up.

I guess it all comes down to personal experience. I’ve found the people of the former-Yugoslavia (plus Albanians) to be some of the friendliest people I’ve met, especially Montenegrins, Bosnians and Serbs (Belgrade has some of the most welcoming people ever). Skopje, too, is full of very warm and hospitable people. Balkan hospitality cannot be undersold.

The friendliest countries I’ve ever visited were Ghana, Togo and Benin. As a white person traveling alone I was constantly stopped and chatted with. Walking through the markets was an extrovert’s dream and it is very easy to go from strangers to best friends in the course of a day. This is especially true if they find out you’re not part of the peace corps/business trip/missionary and just a simple tourist looking to discover their country.

As a New Yorker, I think we have an unfair reputation of being mean, rude and cold. That had been my experience when visiting Boston, but not New York.

The people of Chicago seemed very friendly the few times I’ve visited.

r110, r109 -- To many, American friendliness appears phony. I told them it was genuine, but had difficulty with that argument.

Genuine warmth has little to do with superficial gestures like smiling at strangers.

Chicago feels like transients that are welcomed to stay by the locals. It's a cool city.

R112, try making small talk plus smiling with a Bostonian and you'll hear back "not from around here, are you?".

I’m not friendly to anyone anymore. People suck.

[quote] Eastern Europeans thinking we are cold?

They tend to be extremely stoic people who have no qualms about interacting with strangers on an openly quid pro quo "what can you do for me?" basis. Your mileage varies depending upon how you view this type of openness.

What annoys me about some European countries is not that they're critical about American policies -- frankly, with our politics, we deserve it -- but how blind they are to their own faults and problems. Two world wars erupted there and the continent was ravaged by war and ethnic cleansing little more than two decades ago. They need to clean up their own mess in their own house before being so critical of anybody else.

R105 - they might be as ignorant of their ignorance - but most countries are nowhere near as arrogant or narcissistic, which makes it more. The combination of high self esteem and stupidity is especially galling.

From link: "We’re #1! We Americans like to see ourselves as better than others. And research indicates that we are #1. In narcissism. People in the United States are more narcissistic than people in other countries."

Absolutely, R114.

I remember the first time I was in Bucharest and I wanted to go to the main train station to buy a ticket to Sofia for the following day. I went down into the metro and was having a little difficulty with ticket machine and two people swooped over to help me out. When I got to the train station- which is huge and chaotic- I quickly realized that all of the lines seemed to be for domestic destinations only. Some kind old man stepped out of line and asked if I needed some help. He not only took me to the international window, but marched me to the front of line and asked the woman at the counter if she could help me next and no one on line objected.

The next day, I found myself in a compartment with four other Bulgarians returning to Sofia. The scenery was stunning, and although only two of the four could speak English, we had a lively conversation. The train hit a delay and we arrived in Sofia around midnight. One of the guys told me he would walk me to my hostel because he didn’t want me to get lost late at night. In New York I would have been highly suspicious, but his was nothing more than warm hospitality. (It was a Sunday night and he had to work the next day and he still added time to an already long journey to see I safely arrived at my destination.)

I certainly had nothing to offer any of these acts of kindness (except, I suppose, an opportunity for them to practice their English), but talk about feeling welcomed in places that normally have a bad rap for being cold.

OP is some kind of weird-ass loser who would overreact and shit his pants if another human being said hello to him.

[quote] The combination of high self esteem and stupidity is especially galling.

I bet to differ. I think there is nothing more galling than having certain European countries wag their finger in the US's face about politics when they still have so much to atone and account for. And this is not ancient history I'm referring to. This is very recent, relevant stuff. Don't play the part of a dove when you've been acting like a jackal for centuries.

Similar to R48, as a Canadian (we're POLITE, not FRIENDLY), I was really surprised by how friendly and chatty New Yorkers were. I had several people strike up random conversations with me, in a way that fellow Canadians wouldn't dare in public.

R123, I know Montreal people have a rep for being really snobby and unfriendly but I didn't find that to be the case. But I do find people from the rest of Canada to be wayyy too "reserved" and cold for my liking (and I AM an introvert).

This thread is quintessential DL cunting

And the French Canadian snowbirds - what snobbish ghouls.

I was visiting a popular state park in So Florida and asked some F Canadians where the restroom was...they pretended to not understand me and trotted off. Hopefully one positive of Covid 19 is that we will ban these Canadians from our country.

I mean, I love French croissants and pastries but I can't afford Paris. You can't afford LA and need to look for alternatives.

Personally, I don't like people who assume familiarity with me. I will walk away from them.

I do not like overly friendly, overly familiar waiters who introduce themselves by name and wag their tails non-stop.This behaviour will guarantee a less generous tip. We are not personal friends and I am not dining at your home.

This kind of thing only occurs in the US.

ps, Do not refer to me and my companions as "you guys."

Culture.

Russians - it's quite impolite to be polite.

Americans are known for this. The Europeans don’t like it. The Americans were greeting strangers with a smile all the way to Berlin, twice, in the 20th century!

Here’s the drill: different people in different cultures act differently. There’s nothing wrong with German formality or brusqueness; or French superiority; or well, whatever. It’s just the way they are. In the US, urban Black culture can be different from white Beth Jarrett culture.

But I don’t like it when people complain about other cultures without trying to understand them or put them in context.

My neighborhood is a tourist destination, or pass-through, more likely, so as I go about my business, I often pass a small group of people with a map out, yes, I still see paper maps, looking around in bewilderment. If I stop and ask if they need help, the Americans will ask for directions, most of the time. With the Europeans, it’s maybe 30% who will ask for help. The other 70% look scared as hell.

[quote] the Americans will ask for directions, most of the time. With the Europeans, it’s maybe 30% who will ask for help. The other 70% look scared as hell.

It's not that they're scared -- it's that they think they know it all.

Overly friendly can be off-putting depending on how someone is imparting it, but I find acrid, holier-than-thou cuntiness from strangers far worse. I grew up in Portland, Oregon, and after having gone to college in NYC, I realized how pathologically antisocial and passive-aggressive people are in the northwest. Some people are nice of course, but they are outweighed by the arrogant twats who are cold and rude to everyone. These people are in reality mentally ill, insecure, and threatened by everybody, but still, rude is rude. It's funny because I was always told "Oh, people in NYC are cold and won't speak to you, Watch out!" and found it to be quite the opposite. From my perception, New Yorkers are somewhere in the happy medium—not overly friendly and invasive, but willing to help people and engage in conversation, circumstances providing.

I bet OP has a permanent scowl that makes him look like his always smelling shit, kinda like Paul Lynde.

Is Datalounge really the place to complain about people being too friendly?

I'm not put off by friendly people as long as they're natural and sincere. I'm rather socially awkward and don't gel with everyone. But there's a natural friendly type that I really enjoy because I'll open up and talk and feel comfortable with them. Some of my best friends are like that. We were instant kindred spirits and have lots to talk about. But there are others I can barely speak to.

But, I'll also give shy, awkward people a chance because once you get to know them there can be a lot to like.

I've been out walking a lot lately to get out of the house and there's an old grizzled bearded guy I see sometimes. He always give me a big smile and a hello and it warms my heart.

Why Bless Your Heart!

What part of USA has OP visited? There are huge variations in friendliness based on the region or even city.

America’s history of labeling people with their idiotic racial segregation laws was so successful that it inspired Nazi Germany to create their Nuremberg Laws. It was pretty ironic, not to mention supernaturally hypocritical, for the US led Allies to storm Europe in the name of democracy and racial tolerance.

[quote] supernaturally hypocritical

They should have stuck with Lord Satan so it would be less supernatural.

Lmao Americans are so touchy-feeling ! They are enjoying posting and criticizing other countries on this website but they can't take anyone pointing fingers on them! Sorry, unlike what your propaganda is spreading all around the world, you are FAR from being the best country in the world and since you guys elected Trump the world is opening its eyes !and most of us are totally disgusted!!

Deal with it!

R143, not really. Most people on this site AND in most of liberal America are pretty depressed about the current state of America, particularly Trump, and we will gladly hang our heads in shame. It sounds like you're the one who has issues tolerating criticism.

"it's sound like you're the one who has issues tolerating criticisms" See? Exactly what i was trying t point it out

Yeah sure, you look so very depressed and ashamed of yourself rn ! So depressed that your Russian orange agent gonna get reelected!

[quote] you look so very depressed and ashamed of yourself rn

Boris, that sentence doesn't even make any sense. Try harder.

I'm a naturally quiet, introverted American and I find our culture's friendliness off-putting.

I wouldn’t call it friendliness as much as I would call it over-familiarity. More intrusive than sincere and empathetic.

No I like Americans much more than my fellow Canadians. They’re a lot warmer and welcoming.

Happy that COVID-19 will put the kibosh on all the hugging and air kissing that Yanks like to do. I won't feel like such an ass when I refuse it all. Thanks, Rona!

R150, try Ohio. The surliness and aversion to touch should be right up your alley.

When I lived in the States I noticed the friendliness too. However, there was a big difference how white Americans and black Americans behaved . White Americans (especially from the South) were most of time fake friendly and super chatty. With black Americans I never had the feeling that they wanted to be my best friend. They just kept it real and I respected that.

I found some things very moving about Americans. In Wal-Mart, an assistant was so kind and helpful. She really went out of her way. to help. I'm sure she was badly paid. You would be unlikely to get that kind of service in a similar setting in western Europe.

I’ll say hello to people passing on the side walk (not being fake, i think its courteousness) maybe ask how they are...wish them a nice day,,,,and keep it moving. Anything beyond that I generally don’t care. However, one time I did that and the woman broke down crying only for me to find out she was in the middle of a domestic abuse incident and general courtesy became true compassion. I won’t go into details but I was able to get her some help from a few of my friends and family in the legal profession. In short, a little kindness and courtesy can make a big difference, but I’ve never faked it.

Where's this American friendliness you speak of I'm not being facetious but the only Americans I know that are friendly and talk to everyone and open up out of nowhere are Latinos. Ask any Latin American what they think about Americans and the first thing that comes to mind is cold and distant.

I also find it strange that people lump Europeans as if they were a single country. A Spaniard or Italian has completely different attitudes than a Brit in terms of social awareness.

[quote]Ask any Latin American what they think about Americans and the first thing that comes to mind is cold and distant.

No WAY!

[quote]White Americans (especially from the South) were most of time fake friendly and super chatty. With black Americans I never had the feeling that they wanted to be my best friend. They just kept it real and I respected that.

When I moved to NYC from London - I was just 20. Making appointments to visit friends was such a drag. Next week Tuesday for a drink at Caramba etc...

With "black Americans" it was more like London - What ya doin? Why don't you come over and hang out?

OP, you must be on the spectrum. Americans are expected by their culture to be courteous. Generally, they comply with that dictate.

But these fuckers are friendly.

Often times in the big Northeastern cities you can find people who are friendly without being courteous. But generally in the U.S., they are courteous without being friendly.

I love this word courteous.

But these fuckers are NOT friendly.

Sorry. But fuckety-fuck, why can't we edit with this fucking awful site???

Kind of off-topic but I have heard straight men talk about American women and most agree they are the biggest cunts around. Always scheming, genuinely hate men, you cannot just have a friendly convo without them thinking of a ring on their finger or that he is trying to plow their soil. In most countries girls are friendly and you can actually talk to them without them being filled with haughtiness and hatred. American girls win at being the biggest cunts of the universe.

An old , old joke.:

A Russian woman after sex: I hate you! I hate you! An Italian woman after sex: 1200 lira... A French woman after sex: Ooo baby, encore... An English woman after sex: Are you quite finished? An America woman after sex: (punches the guy on his shoulder) Feel better?

Americans have a habit of speaking a bit louder when they meet a stranger. When they meet a non-American, they turn into second-grade teachers, closing in a bit, locking eyes, speaking loudly, enuciating clearly, using simple words, animatedly expressing themselves. They become ambassadors in a way that people from other countries often do not. They start asking endless questions without waiting for answers and volunteering all sorts of information of their own, about where they work and where they went to school and the house they live in and their partner's parents from a different part of the state and a sister who went to Italy once; about their country, about their state, about their town and the best place to find ice cream, or talking about the crust on pizza in their town versus the crust on pizza in Chicago, "it's Deep Dish, I think they call it", and they had it once... It's a barrage of words and they will introduce this foreigner to every friend, acquaintance, and complete stranger who happens to pass by. If this foreigner is living in the U.S, they will say repeatedly how interesting he is and that they are going to be great friends.

When the foreigner next sees the American - at a party, on the street - the American will make a big show, exclaiming loudly as if he has reunited with a long lost close friend, repeat half of the previous conversation, then a rare conversational pause at which he looks at her watch and begs off for the gym or the shops or to wash the dishes, but promises they will get together very soon and have a grand time. After this happens a few times the foreigner reveals that the very animated would-be friend is not interested in knowing anything more about the foreigner, does not want to make friends, and will never get around to inviting them for so much as a cup of coffee. Americans are very happy having the "friend" they see at the coffee shop, the other one they see at the gym, the other one they see at a bar, the other they they see at Mark's house...

This is all backwards for many Europeans, this upfront gushing and then retreating; this curiosity in the form of questions but not the patience to hear answers; the idea that every stranger is a new best friend waiting to happen, but not really, they just want to give the impression that they want to make friends. Americans place a very high value on the appearance of friendliness, but the delivery part is not important to them -- the loud exclamations and the introductions of the French guy to everyone in the room was the delivery. There will be no more.

Europeans are quieter upfront and take time to accumulate some information and observations before they move past being simply polite to being interested and then being friendly. Being friendly to them means somehow bringing people together rather than just juggling separate orbits of acquaintances. For Europeans meeting an American, it's like a high-speed abbreviated version of the stages of grief, advancing from Shock of why this person has grabbed me and is shouting that he wants to be my new best friend, to Denial that "he seemed so interested and now always in a hurry to run off", to Bargaining, thinking that maybe I have to be more forceful in proposing a plan to meet, eventually to Acceptance, "fuck it, that's the way they are."

People who find American friendliness off-putting are people who are socially inept and prone to being suspicious of anyone who doesn't act the way they do. Also, they live their lives always looking for the worst in everything and everybody.

Perhaps the Americans can tell us - how do you decipher each other's behaviour to work out what is fake friendliness and what is sincere?

R165 Quite apparently we don't have that ability. President Trump.

I'll take fake friendliness over outright hostility and shitty manners any day.

"This is all backwards for many Europeans, this upfront gushing and then retreating; this curiosity in the form of questions but not the patience to hear answers; the idea that every stranger is a new best friend waiting to happen, but not really, they just want to give the impression that they want to make friends."

r163, this is exactly IT! You described it perfectly. It happened to me so many times that I thought I made new friends and then I realized that nope, they had no interest in being friends, they were just being polite.

R167 Yes I agree. The people who say they would rather people be "upfront " so they know exactly where they stand or something have never lived in an area with relentlessly rude and nasty people. There's a half way point between telling a stranger your life story and pointless aggression and hostility. A happy medium is best.

[quote]Perhaps the Americans can tell us - how do you decipher each other's behaviour to work out what is fake friendliness and what is sincere?

Americans with an IQ exceeding that of lettuce understand that social courtesies are distinct from phoniness and oversharing.

R165 Actions speak louder than words. It's normal to be jokey and friendly with strangers so we don't consider that anything serious or a commitment of any kind. They want to get to know you if they make plans and actually stick to them 😂

There's difference between "friendship" and "friendliness". Friendship takes work and time. Friendliness just takes good manners and a pleasant demeanor.

Different cultures have different social norms. It's weird to you because your not socialized to it. It's a common complaint of those from outside the states, but it's based on an inability to reconcile one's own culture with the other. It's particularly common among other Native English speakers, as cultural similarities can make Americans seem more similar than they actually are.

Hugs bother me. I really don't feel like it...hardly ever. I like to hug my sisters and brother, relatives...not friends.

R174 No need to worry about that anymore.

I'm still baffled with this thread. No one thinks Americans are friendly, are you guys high? People think Latinos and Latin Americans are friendly, Spaniards, Italians and maybe the Portuguese or Russians depending on who you're asking.

I'm not trying to be an asshole, but I'm a Latino American Jew and as far as I'm concerned the only Americans who are friendly are either African Americans, other Latinos or people from the south in that already mentioned fake courteous way. Most white Americans are very indifferent and distant. Maybe you don't travel much abroad and are taking your bubble as the standard, but Americans wouldn't even make into my top 30 of the friendliest people.

R176 Yeah, I suspect that people are referring primarily to Americans from smaller towns in the Midwest and the South. Most blue states are fairly cold with some exceptions. No one would refer to Boston , CT, or DC as warm and friendly. I think American friendliness is more of a regional thing.

[quote]I'm not trying to be an asshole, but I'm a Latino American Jew and as far as I'm concerned the only Americans who are friendly are either African Americans

Oh, yes, R176 - African Americans are the smiliest least hostile people in America. Are you nutz?

Back to real life.

I do find it odd how Americans in general tell you the most personal things about themselves within an incredibly short time. That's probably women more than men.

R176 Russians are friendly? Are you delusional and a fucking 'tard. Russians are some of the smartest people around in terms of education but they are also some of the biggest most aggressive assholes around. I don't like them much. They are like Sikhs. Mostly evil dogs from hell.

When an American meets a non-American, he or she switches on as though an understudy asked to step in for the lead role in a high school stage production. (And the understudy is Madeline Kahn or Any Sedaris.)

Exaggerated fawning interest, beaming smiles, loud delivery so the audience way, way up there in the very last row can understand every word, empty promises of wanting to show the foreigner around, introduce him to everyone, and just hang out as the friends they are meant to be...

Americans recognize that this isn't intentional deceitfulness, that it springs from some good intention. Europeans are puzzled by it, shocked even, because it's so unfamiliar. The first time they dismiss it as having met an insane person. The second time, again: insanity on the loose. The third, fourth, fifth time...they wonder if the who country is insane or if that's just American hospitality that's a polar opposite to what they have known at home and in previous travels.

Americans place a high value on 1) good intentions and 2) appearances: the semblence of friendliness - taking the time to speak with someone, baring their full display of teeth, laughing.

Europeans by contrast are more direct and reserved at the start and warm up as some bond begins to develop - the reverse order for Americans who gush at the start and then clam up. Good intentions and wide smiles and an explosive gushing display are not valued as much as good information and helpfulness and attention for cues for some common ground or some quality they like, some reason and route to move forward.

I’ve met several Russians and Ukrainians and r179 hit the nail on the head. With one or two exceptions, they are a dour and negative breed.

I don't think Americans can be forced into one straight jacket. Just like any area of the planet. Each comes from a social milieu and acts accordingly. I remember reading about a horrible serial killer/sex fiend/rapist who killed/raped/dismembered/ate like 200 young girls in Colombia, Venezuela, Peru, Ecuador....He later said that the girls were so friendly and trusting it took nothing for him to lure them to their grisly deaths. Every culture has its goods and bads. You should always be reserved and suspicious of others so you don't get fucked in the ass or lured to your death like those poor latin girls.

R181 I sort of agree with you, and I am part Russian/Ukrainian myself—my mom is a first-generation American whose mother was from Russia/Ukraine, and while I don't feel my maternal family are dour or unapproachable, I have met many a Russian/Ukrainian in the U.S. who very much is. In my experience, a lot Russians also tend to have "sad" looking faces. My great aunt, for example, always looked miserable, but if you actually talked to her, she was the sweetest lady you'd ever meet. My mother has a similar look—it's almost like genetic resting bitch face. And my mother, as much as I love her, is a bit of a cold hard bitch, so maybe it is telling.

[quote]straight jacket

Oh, DEAR.

Great post, R180. There is a truism about this in France - the coconut and the peach. French people see themselves as the coconut, a hard shell with a soft interior. I think this is accurate. A French friend will be there for you through thick and thin once you've been accepted. But you have to show you deserve this and you do this by respecting their boundaries and also showing respect in other ways.

Americans are seen as the peach - a soft exterior but a hard stone within.

R183 just because the cunts in your fam had "sad" faces, doesn't mean all 145 million Russians have sad faces. Can we assume they are also all brain dead morons based on your weak and pathetic anecdote.

Expat Russians and Eastern Europeans love to complain non-stop. Sometimes I feel like interrupting them and asking, "So was your life better back home?"

R186 take a xanax, hon.

[quote]There is a truism about this in France - the coconut and the peach.

I would say its more like cunts vs cocks. No one really likes cunts, but cocks have been worshiped for centuries.

The fact that Russians don't smile often is not a falsehood—it's a cultural truth, and is part of why they can be construed to have a "sad" or stoic look.

R190 yeak ok, cuntbreath.

I find most Europeans off-putting and rude. Cant tell you how many times I ended up in a conversation with someone visiting America and they inevitably launch into all the things that is wrong with America. I would never go to France, the UK or Italy and trash their society, especially to a native born resident, it's rude.

They love to brag about their ability to speak several languages (all from the same branch mind you) and how we don't seem to know the politics of other countries. The big flaw in their grand statement of superiority is they fail to recognize the physical size of the United States. Going to another country to them is like us going to another state for us. Our boarders are surrounded by vast oceans on two sides. So of course most people don't travel outside the U.S. It's not affordable to the middle class, if they do travel that far, it's more like a once in a life time trip.

For the record, quite a few people in California, Texas and New Mexico are bilingual.

Do you not realise how insular many Americans are, R192? How unaware many are about world politics? And how laughable others find the idea of "American exceptionalism?" Your society is imploding after little more than four centuries. Eight hundred US military bases around the world, America the world's policemen. How's that working out for you?

Thanks for proving my point R193, your attitude of superiority is abound.

Hate to break it to you, America is still the most powerful and influential country in the world. It's not bragging, its just a fact. Military power, the most advance in the world, financially, the US Dollar is still the gold standard around the world, the international language of business today is English because that is what America speaks. Technology and innovation, the vast majority of inventions most of the world benefits from, and social influence start here like California where the first Earth Day was started. Not that I care, but the U.S. is the dominate leader of entertainment around the world. There would be no Bollywood without Hollywood.

R193 save your breath. You cannot talk like an adult with a bunch of undeveloped turd brains who swallow whole all the brainwashing of the plutocrats who own them.

Yes, R195, because European countries have never fallen prey to political brainwashing—or dictators, for that matter!

As an American visiting London last year I was informed by a London friend that Londoners don't like to be bothered and may react unkindly if I speak to them. Well, while I was there seeing the sights I asked a dozen or more Londoners for directions and not a single one of them was unpleasant or rude. They all tried to be helpful. The key was I knew not to bother them beyond asking for directions and always said Sir or Ma'am and was polite. I'm sure deep down they didn't like being bothered but they were respectful to me and I was respectful toward them. I even asked a couple policewomen for directions. Those London police women are tough! No nonsense. I tried not to annoy anyone and found that often just by them hearing my accent some Londoners were friendly.

[quote]You cannot talk like an adult with a bunch of undeveloped turd brains who swallow whole all the brainwashing of the plutocrats who own them.

Yes, yes, how's that Brexit going? LOL

[quote]Hate to break it to you, America is still the most powerful and influential country in the world. It's not bragging, its just a fact.

Another peculiarity of Americans is that they rate and rank and measure and compare everything and always to the end of R194. It's like a Trump press conference where everything is a contest, a game in which the same country bullies and brags that he has won - again! Defensiveness, the handmaiden of bragging, is always present, ready to shut down any discussion with a giant foam hand and a chant of "We're #1!"

Definitely #1 at being competitive I would say, in swagger if decreasingly in action. The linked international rankings are mostly to broad categories of indicators; there are hundreds of measures and rankings, of course, and the U.S. comes out at #1 on military spending and GDP (but not GDP per capita where its in #13), and in cultural influence (#4), but, if you're of a competitive or a curious bent, do your own search on rankings of countries by innovation of one sort or another, or quality of life, or healthcare by various measures, or the Democracy Index (U.S. #25), and the U.S. flag-waving boast of "We're #1!" boast loses some luster when it really means we're number 13, or 15, or 30, or 45, or lower.

Wow so much hostility and wild generalizations on this thread.

R196 the white European scum has it even worse since they are 100% owned by the dolts of the USA.

[quote]a horrible serial killer/sex fiend/rapist who killed/raped/dismembered/ate like 200 young girls in Colombia, Venezuela, Peru, Ecuador

I am far more interested in this. Who was this person?

US ranks #2 in Global Competitiveness Report, it in your own post R199. That's pretty much what I was saying. Sure you can cherry pick to say America sucks but no anymore than any European country. No one is bragging here that we have the best healthcare system, yet I am sure you will fixate on that even though no one is claiming it to be superior.

The problem is Europeans are jealous of Americas place in the world and it irks them to no end no one pays attention to them like they do America. Sure, France has fashion, Italy is the king of design, and every country has something they are the best at doing. It's just that America has a lot more of those things. Did France ever land a man on the moon? Did the UK ever land a rover on Mars? I personally never have shouted "we're number one" like Euro trash likes to stereotype us as doing.

"They love to brag about their ability to speak several languages (all from the same branch mind you) and how we don't seem to know the politics of other countries."

But that is true. Many Americans (not all!) have no idea or actually no interest in the other countries and their cultures. I was seriously asked if we had electricity in Europe and if Hitler was still in charge. And these were educated people with college degrees.

In a supermarket we were told once to speak English in America and not our language. We were just tourists visiting friends, wtf? I would like to see the reactions of Americans tourists being told to only speak French in Paris or Italian in Rome. Would be hilarious.

R204, a college degree doesn't really mean people are "educated". I frequently meet degree'd people who are ignorant of a lot of things particularly history. Maybe they skip those classes.

The person in the supermarket was a xenophobic rube. You should have told him to fuck off in English.

[quote]The problem is Europeans are jealous of Americas place in the world and it irks them to no end no one pays attention to them like they do America.

You are mistaken, R203.

France does not want to beat the U.S., to push it out of its #2 place in the 2019 Global Competitiveness Report ranking, to have more military might, to have a better space program. Ireland, frumpy Ireland with its leprechauns and pints of Guinness and pokey old , mumbly codgers with their shillelaghs, and dancers with that funny way of dancing - Ireland, which scores higher than the U.S. in almost any desirable quality in international rankings, doesn't want to beat the U.S., to push it off its place, to brag that it's outdone the U.S. Sweden doesn't covet the U.S. Navy, doesn't lose sleep over measures by which the U.S. is bigger or better. Spain doesn't want to best the U.S. either. Nor the Netherlands, nor Germany, nor Greece, nor Norway, nor Italy, nor Belgium, nor Switzerland, nor the U.K. None of them want to beat, to better, to best the U.S. because, in essence, they have different priorities. They don't want the world's biggest military. They are not in the least troubled that in 1969 they didn't send an astronaut to land on the moon in June ahead of the Americans in July. Measuring up to the U.S. is not a big priority. Being the center of attention is not a priority. Finding the things that are important to France, to Ireland, to Sweden, to Spain, to the Netherlands, to all the rest... that's what's more important to those places, and they strive for these things in their own ways, not as an international dick measuring competition.

The U.S. has accomplishments and contributions that have helped shape the world in positive ways, no reasonable person could deny that, but bluster and bragging and hollow claims and a need to always best everyone else (in lies if not in deed) are not the better part of an American legacy.

Russians. As I said upthread, for Russians it's impolite to be polite.

And as far as the observation that "boy, there are a lot of wild generalizations on this thread".... well, the discussion is about cultural traits and norms, so, by definition, the points are general. Anthropology, ethnology are general. Of course there are outliers, exceptions to any assumed cultural representation.

Also understand that we're separated from most countries by large bodies of water; Canada and Mexico are our only neighbors. Is it any wonder we aren't that aware of what is going on in other nations? Even Australia is pretty close to the other island nations in Asia.

[quote]R164 People who find American friendliness off-putting are people who are socially inept and prone to being suspicious of anyone who doesn't act the way they do.

Exactly. They are hurt, damaged people.

And we pity them.

R208 You know, I think this is a dated observation. Rationale for a problem. Immigration: In LA there are more Mexicans than any city outside of Mexico City; more Koreans than any city outside of Seoul; more Armenians than any place outside of Armenia; more Filipinos than any place outdie Manila; more Tongans than any place outside of Tonga.. Samoa, Vietnam, El Salvador, Taiwan etc etc

And the observation "well that's LA and NY... or the coasts" is no longer true. How many south Asian doctors are there in Kansas City? How many Filipino nurses are there in Knoxville? And the response to this increased exposure: MAGA.

One big difference is that in Europe you are always reminded that there are other countries around you that equal or surpass you in various ways. Germany might have the best engineering, but Italy has the best design, France has the best wine, etc. It's not possible to be so arrogant or think yourself "exceptional."

I tell strangers ridiculously personal things all of the time. But they are never things about me. Who cares? I'll never see them again.

[quote] I was seriously asked if we had electricity in Europe and if Hitler was still in charge. And these were educated people with college degrees.

Example of Eurotrash not getting a joke.

[quote]In a supermarket we were told once to speak English in America and not our language. We were just tourists visiting friends, wtf?

Actually, English is not the official language of America. We have none! They purposely left it out of the constitution. It just happens to be the one that stuck. If someone said that to you probably just some Trumpeter Deplorable.

[quote]France has the best wine, etc. It's not possible to be so arrogant or think yourself "exceptional."

Excuse me? Not from my experience. Tell someone from France that California wine is just as good and less expensive and their damn heads will explode! They will spend the next 30 minutes grinding you down in a conversion until you just agree with them just so they will just go away.

R202 Could be Pedro Lopez, Luis Garavito, or Daniel Camargo Barbosa. Yes, there's more than one of them.

R216 is awesome. Pedro Lopez is who I was thinking of.

If you remove the word "American" and repeat the sentience, you can see OP has some deep psychological issues he needs to address and should seek professional counseling.

[bold]Does anyone else find friendliness off-putting?

R218: That's perennially a considerable undercurrent on DL, no? The coronavirus lockdown-related threads have more than their share of posters who take a little too much glee at having an official reason to withdraw from society, and extra delight in seeing other people uncomfortable with the process.

I appreciate friendliness, good manners, smiles, nicely dressed people, cleanliness, and fresh baked bread.

The ethnocentrism and insecurity on this thread and from all sides is hilarious!