Let's be a gathering of soap opera characters!

I'm psycho nurse Sheila Carter

I'm Sable Colby, played by the divine Stephanie Beacham, snarling "You miserable BITCH!" in the Dynasty episode "All Hands on Dex!".

I am India von Halkein - regal, elegant and too good for all of you cheap whores!

I read tacky filth like Reva Shayne for being low born gutter trash.

I’m Natalie Marlowe Hunter Cortlandt Hunter Chandler Dillon. I was a designing temptress who turned into a good girl who became an Earth Mother, was trapped in a well, blinded in a fire, was recast and ultimately killed.

But, for a long time, I was divine.

Yes you were, R4!

I am Iris Carrington from Bay City. I’m obsessed with my “daddy”.

I'm Victor Newman. My son Adam has a shaved ballsack.

R7 love it!

Just one? Can't I at least choose one male and one female? But, if I have to absolutely choose just one, it would be Victoria Lord(OLTL), that way I would still be multiple people.

I'm Bonkers!

I am Vanessa Chamberlain, daughter of Henry Chamberlain. I am wearing a fur coat and heals, I have my sights set on Ross Marler, Esq.

I am Nola Reardon.

I have my sights on More. And I won't stop until I get it.

Everything!

I tried Kelly Nelson's bulge, but I think he....well, perhaps he swings the other way.

I’m Tina Lord Roberts, and I got to ride some quality pole back in the day.

Step back, bitches... I'm Celeste Perrault.

There's danger, darling!

I am Phillip Spaulding.

I possess some serious fine quality pole. That's why they call me The Pendulous One.

I’m Karen Wolek and I AAAAAAAM A COMMON HOOKER, like Katrina Carr!

I am torn between two from ATWT: Lucinda Walsh and Barbara Ryan. Help me decide!

I'm Victoria Winters from Dark Shadows trying to get away from all the bad guys as usual.

R18 Even with my head in a noose I still look beautiful.

I’m Matt Reardon, Springfield’s hottest ex-prostitute.

I am Vanessa Chamberlain, daughter of Henry Chamberlain. I am hosting THE social event of THE year! My archnemis, Reva Shayne, and I are teaming up to thwart Lucile 's attempt to procure Billy Lewis. I am impeccably dressed for such an occasion, an occasion which happens to be my wedding day!

I'm so fucking fantastic, I even have a poem written about me.

ENTER VANESSA CHAMBERLAIN Burying the phone in black hair, Vanessa Chamberlain strokes her bountiful bottom lip with the red tip of her bare ringfinger. She is on the line to the college. When her victim answers she says “Hello there. This is Vanessa Chamberlain speaking. That’s right, I said I’d call.” Note well the white crinoline petticoat bursting like bush out of the black blazer she wears: vaguest hit of a nun. Bask in the beautiful pallor of her face! Vanessa Chamberlain! Joan of Arc! John of the Cross… Dear God, for Christmas I would like to see Vanessa Chamberlain enter my room one day, in spiked heels and nothing else, her body the color of amber and immolations, the sunlight sizzling around her, a bottle of very bad bourbon in her delicate hand. She will kiss me once and pull away. Perhaps she will say “I have to run.” Perhaps she will want to meet me later. Oh, cyclopean Father of twisted sex, of all dreams dear to me this is dearest: to hang around in a velvet bar far past the appointed hour, checking my watch, as the bartender grows circumspect. Woefully I will wonder what went wrong, one of millions waiting today, for her hushed silken entrance.

I'm Felicia Gallant aka Fannie Grady.

I'm always impeccably dressed except for that one time I hid my vodka bottle in my boots. I'm never without my feather boa.

I'm Cass Winthrop.

I have a long, thick, veiny cock with a beautiful black bush.

My voice will make you cum. Hard. And so will my continental cock.

Hullo, I’m Georgia Simpson; posh plummy Brightonian totty who was forced to slum it after that early ‘90s economic downturn, by chucking in my degree to work in Liverpool as a copier-girl and marry some dreary lower-middle-class drone to make my parents happy. It was that, or the dole.

I kept my life interesting, though; I’d been banging my younger brother since we were 16 or thereabouts, right through school & Uni under my insufferable parents’ noses and even during my engagement. My marriage crumbled after only a year, of course, and so when I went back home to lick my wounds it was only natural that I took my dear brother in hand and made him my love-slave - to prevent him making the same mistake I did in marrying someone else, you understand.

After much turbulence, Sturm & Drang we eventually eloped and scandalised another neighbourhood with our ecstatic consanguinal romping. I don’t regret much, except that we were poor as churchmice and couldn’t legally wed or have children (though I demanded and got one diamond set a band). I suppose I ought to have tried to shack up with a richer, older man in a growing industry like telly, maybe become a weather presenter. It’s quite incredible what one will end up doing, bored in the grey British suburbs. And I just couldn’t say no to a young hung hormonal mess who was available to me round-the-clock and had to defer to my authority. Anyone would do the same.

No matter how far I descended in station or repute, my sleek blonde highlights were eternally perfect to put all those Liver Birds to shame. You’d never catch me out of mascara (smudged as it always got), satin blouses & cashmere knits (that best displayed my trim physique), and a man’s watch I wore everywhere (no-one really thought to ask to whom it belonged). I had the loveliest clear, tan, healthy skin - all that good food and fresh country air from weekends at the Cottage. You always knew where I’d been by the scent in the air of Cartier Panthere, Elie Saab La Parfum, or Dewberry oil.

The British public have never forgotten me - or forgiven me, unfortunately. Well, I didn’t want the understanding of such plebs, anyway.

R24

Stephen Schnetzer was hot AF on AW. He's still very handsome.

I'm Christine 'Cricket' Blair. Teen model. Confidante to middle aged women. Obsession of every boy or man who comes my way. Now I'm with the Feds and married to a whining lesbian.

R17, Just remember, darling, that Simply Barbara without Barbara simply wouldn't be Simply Barbara.

I'm Jeremy Hewitt and I'm the carrier of Lassa Fever.

I'm Dot Cotton.

I lit a cigarette in 1944 and have never been without one since.

My life's work is to be a busybody.

I'm Katherine Chancellor's original face.

Like her liver, the EPA has had to find a special place to bury me!

I'm Katherine Wentworth. I had it all until my long lost goody two shoes sister and pathetic brother showed up in town and cut into my share of the business. However, my brother in law was particularly delicious and I decided he would be mine. This required me having sex with my brother in laws brother and taping it with a 1980's cassette recorder and using this to blackmail him. I then embarked on several other stunts before I tried to run my brother in law over wearing a blonde wig (I was wearing the blonde wig he wasn't). However, this turned out to be a dream. I was last seen helping my sister leave the hospital after she was blown up in a car. She was bandaged up like an Egyptian Mummy but I still managed to walk her out of the hospital and get her on a private jet!

I’m Jimmy Lee Holt.

You get to see my cock.

I'm Opal, and I make people beautiful!

I mostly like Pine Valley, 'cept for people with their High Falutin' Values.

I'm Donna Love and I'm wearing Matthew Cory on my arm. Of all the men who have fucked me, Matthew is the hottest and the sweetest.

I'm Sue Ellen Ewing of Dallas. When I recover from mah drunken stupor, the first thing ima do is throw that bitch Pam outta Southfork!

I'm Alex Marshall. Still trying to figure out why Sister Marie Horton wouldn't leave the sisterhood and marry me. Now I'm hanging out with my frenemy Anna, trying to cook up more get rich quick schemes in my own ineptly comical way, while running the drab Salem Inn to make ends meet.

I’m Nola Dancy. I just want to get out of Mona’s

I am Gabrielle Medina.

From the jungles of Argentina to switching a dead baby for a live one- and all sorts of hijinks and adventures in between.

AND I have the hair of Rapunzel!! AND did I mention that I was a NUN!??

I'm Holden Snyder. I was told by a Miss Chi Chi Larue that this is where the Falcon Video auditions are being held.

I'm Nola Dancy.....and Nola Dancy!

R40 I'm just imagining him in a Jeff Stryker film...lol

I'll be in that porn, too.

R37

I adored Quinn Redeker (sp?). He played such an enjoyable scoundrel on Days & YR.

I’m Ada Hobson of Bay City. I’ll destroy anyone who gets in the way of my daughter Rachel’s happiness. Now, hold my dishrag, I got some cunt kicking to do.

Hand sanitizer or anything with alcohol BUT NOT SOAP does not kill the virus anyway. Only soap actually kills the virus. There are articles about it out there just google it.

R46 was not invited!

I need no introduction.

Now, one of you dessicated queens make yourself useful and fetch me a Fife Ness Eighteen rocks.

Marry me, R4!

Natalie will always be my favorite soap character, and Kate Collins my favorite soap actress.

I'm Evil Queen of Soapdom #1, Palmer Cortlandt.

I may obsess over my daughter, but what I really want is to explore inside her husband's zipper.

And I'm Evil Queen #2, Alan Spaulding.

I'm so proud of my tall, handsome, pendulous son, Phillip.

Let's go to Berlin! A whole week of AMC in one sitting!

R15, Phillip Spaulding was played by Grant Aleksander (last name Kunkowski.) They don't call them Poles for nothin'.

I’m Roger Thorpe, dark looks and dark intentions. Seductive and almost invulnerable.

R45 didn't you mean "cunt licking to do?"

R53 He's definitely got that Polish blessing going on for him!

We should ask him about it in the chat tomorrow.

r55 types ABC.

I'm Stefano DiMera.

I'm a larger than life figure with too much time on my hands. I always dress as a proper gentleman should in a suit. I provide chaos in the lives of the people of Salem through overly elaborate plot devices/twists. Some call me evil, but those simpletons merely lack the imagination to understand Narcissism and Psychopathy.

My romantic interests have the lifespan of a butterfly. Just ask R14, one of my many conquests I discarded after I got bored. Now, one of you become Marlena so I can amuse myself later.

Ahh! who am I kidding? I'm the Soaps' version of John Gotti as a Bond villain.

I'm Valerie Starrett as Diana Taylor, one of the best criers in all of daytime tv! Brook Bundy couldn't hold a candle to me.

I am Sally Spectra Garrison. I am the underdog in all situations, a tough broad with a heart of gold who just wants to be accepted by the fashion elite, even if I have to steal their designs to do it!

Loved Valerie Starrett as Diana! Diana and Peter were the super couple I best remember on GH, not Luke and Laura.

R60, I only knew Bundy as Diana.

But I'm sure she was great.

Bundy was a great actress because she was able to convince me Diana was making some big sacrifice to love Jeff so she and he and PJ aka Steven Lars could all be a family.

I am the good Doctor Marlena, and I am possessed by SATAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

R63 You are right about Bundy. I did grow to like her. She had her own spin on Diana. I think it was my first recast and my eight or nine year old mind didn't get it. I also thought Valerie was so beautiful and didn't see Brooke's beauty at the time. And she was blonde! But she did make the role her own.

I AM Joan Borman Cane.

I have arrived. And I am not impressed that it took you bitches sixty-five posts before you mentioned me. Unlike the rest of you pathetic small-screen stars I am played by a Hollywood legend.

And, yes, I AM a young ingenue of twenty-four.

Please disregard the swigs of 'water' I'm taking and raise those damn *hic* cue cards!

I’m the majority of Edge of Night actors who will be dead of AIDS before 1988

I'm Carl Hutchins. I coast in and out of Bay City whenever my schedule and business commitments to my sprawling, yet vague and ill-defined criminal empire permit. My favorite things are opera, Asian art, and feisty brunettes.

I used to be married to R35; we had the most delicious times together. She pretends to hate me now, but I know that she still loves it when I call her "Bella" in my suave accent.

I'm Mason Capwell, the snarky Hamlet of Southern California.

I’m Ting Tong! I make egg roll and bat stew!

I'm Alma Rudder.

I'll cut a bitch....or two!

I'm India.

R72 No...I am India!

R3, that's better than being a pompous blue blood anytime!

I may come from humble beginnings my dear but I learned a thing about human dignity back there!

R74 Do your biological twitchings elsewhere!

R75, you stay clear of me! Or you'll wish you had!

Just one last thing.....drop the war tactics.

Try love.

If you have the slightest idea. how.

I'm Lacey Bauer!

R77 Who?

I am Timmy, the doll who comes to life - to fuck with you!

Liza Colby here! Let’s get this party started, just as long as that trashy Jenny Gardner isn’t here. I will, however, happily fuck her brother... when my own mother isn’t fucking him of course.

Damn, I miss Marcy Walker on my TV!

R81 She only puts out for Jesus now, dear.

Damn R79 we need a Tabitha to make u hot toddy;s.

R80- Sorry Liza, but we had to crash the party. Has young love ever been more beautifully depicted?