BREAKING: Chrissy Metz drops new single

OP I think you meant a new triple? Nothing single about her.

Lost love?? Did she sit on him?

Reba McEntire’s face at 1:45 sums up Crispy’s musical abilities.

What? So she’s down to 762 pounds now? Bravo Chrissy!

Somebody lied to her. Several times.

I met her, she’s a super sweet lady.

[quote] I met her, she’s a super sweet lady.

Hon, that was just the jam dripping from her chin....

Chrissy Metz Drops a Deuce.

[quote]‘Talking To God’ is a song about those moments when we ask the questions we desperately want the answers to.

Like 'Why can't you deep-fry my pizza?' and 'Why do you call this an all-you-can-eat buffet then?'?

[quote]I met her, she’s a super sweet lady.

Given how much sugar she ingests she should be.

Reba looks... stoic. God bless.

Seriously, I hadn't heard Metz sing previously. This vocal was live, with no auto-tune or studio sweetening.

And she's TERRIBLE: intermittently pitchy, with a weird and terrible tone to her voice. She really is not a singer.

Someone obviously thought: A country Susan Boyle.

More like a country.

R12 Someone was wrong.

R3 God bless Reba for holding back. Gracious lady.

She won't steal my thunder.

[quote]She won't steal my thunder.

She creates her own every time she walks.

The fat lady has sung.

It's over.

Oh, this is not a parody thread?

Hear it here first!

She dropped the single as she reached for this:

What do you think God said to her?

"Put the fork down," R21.

[quote] “‘Talking To God’ is a song about those moments when we ask the questions we desperately want the answers to.

Such as "Why must the fattening foods be so delicious?"

Just took two lines into the song for the writers to work in a reference to her size (heavy).

Do you want to bet the album's gonna be filled with lots of allusions to her mass?

People boo me at karaoke and I can sing better than she can.

Is she going to release a sexy music video to go along with?

Five people to write a song!

Literally groundbreaking

Earth-shattering.

Corona hasn't gotten her yet?

[quote] Corona hasn't gotten her yet?

It can't find a way in.

Wow, that live performance was awful. Reba’s eyes spoke volumes.

When it flops she'll at least have the convenient excuse that she was unable to promote if because of Coronavirus.

The rest of her POS album:

I still remember that interview she gave in which she said 'When I was a teenager I was always that girl in church searching for answers.'

Uh-huh, Chrissy.

You were that girl in KFC searching for an extra-large booth.

She’s so obese, poor woman. She really needs to be careful with the ‘Rona. It seems to really be hitting heavy people with type 2.

She sounds like karaoke at the Podunk, KY church social.

Chrissy may have dropped it, but she sure as hell won't be picking it up.

[quote]The song was written by Nicolette Hayford, Connie Harrington, Jake Mitchell, Ashley McBryde and Aaron Raitiere

Holy Shit!

You can't talk to God when your mouth is full.

Within five years she’ll have her own cooking show on Food Network.

What happened to her band, The Vapors? Don't tell me she got hungry...

Only 27k views in four days on YouTube.

....

I love Jeessus

Chrissy should headline The Lulu Roman Story.

Holy shit was she off key in that Reba video or what???

[quote] Chrissy should headline The Lulu Roman Story.

Once she drops a few.

Florence Foster Jenkins ain't got nothin' to worry about!

When’s the album out?

This thread being greyed out is a prime example of Fat Frau Incest Survivors taking the site over.

[quote] BREAKING: Chrissy Metz drops new single

Please don't use "Chrissy Metz drops" in a sentence any more.

All I could think of is Chrissy "dropping" a huge TURD in the toilet.

Thanks, op! I'll never get that visual out of my head.

I want to see her stomping up the stairs like Stevie Nicks in her I Can't Wait video.

R53 this would be hilarious

Chrissy should do a duet with Meatloaf.

"I like bread and butter. I like toast and jam..."

That CMT performance should be burned. And she should avoid all songs with lyrics that include “there’s a churnin’ in my guuuut....”. What were they thinking?

*performance footage

Marilyn moment

[quote] Marilyn moment

More like MARYLAND moment.

R59 Oh...My..GOD.

I could care less about Chrissy Metz's droppings.

Unless they're dropped from several stories high from a building I'm passing.

***BREAKING***

Chrissy Metz just dropped a 10 pound turd in the toilet bowl!

News at 11.

[quote]Chrissy Metz Drops a Deuce

Oh she drop a LOT of deuce, Mr. Man

No fire big enuff to cover smell

I bet a private handicapped-equipped bathroom is the first thing listed on her rider.

Any news on how Chrissy is coping with lockdown and isolation. Great opportunity for her to lose some wright.

She says her weight loss she agreed to for the show is on hold because the gyms are closed.

LOLOLOL

Love me a Chrisdy Metz thread, never fails to cheers me up!

Does her gay best friend / tampon slave sing backup?

Wailing arms like pig reveals arm cellulite.

[quote]I bet a private handicapped-equipped bathroom is the first thing listed on her rider.

This is the only kind of "rider" Chrissy needs.

Yes, can you imagine her backstage rider?

Chrissy needs to sit on my face!!!

What was the name of the big white drag queen from Drag Race who talked about proporitionizing? Someone needs to hook Chrissy up with that drag queen's designer.

True R74 I don't understand most of her outfits. There are designers and stylists who can make bigger women look good (or at least not a joke) but Chrissy seems allergic to them.

What, R75.

You don't love this green frock?

Vertical stripes are slimming...

What's with the white flap in the front?

Chrissy's "stomach to tits" ratio, is a bit off.

I see what the designer was going for at r78 but the end result is more cruel than kind.

How dare you try to shame her.

Chrissy is fighting back against the male patriarchy by gaining a lot of weight...

She Is Fighting For ALL of HUMANITY!

I think she’s beyond careful dressing.

She justs needs to go full Mama Cass with psychedelic muumuus.

Flowers can be slimming.

Chrissy’s best chance of looking slim involves only being seen with hippos.

Her alum is going to be banal frau fluff.

Chrissy should pull together a star studded list of singers and release a track to fight world hunger. It's a cause she feels strongly about.

Is Chrissy the patron saint of fraus?

Chrissy is the patron saint of roast beef

Thankfully she's not traveling to promote it:

[quote]Metz is comfortable talking about the similarities between her own life and Kate's character arc; their differences are harder to get across to fans. On the show, Kate bought two seats on a cross-country flight. "I've never bought two seats," Metz says, "but I've had people look at me, give me the stank-eye, and maybe get up and go somewhere else," says Metz. "Fair enough. What I had to learn is that it's not personal. If they paid for their seat and I happen to be spilling over on it and that offends them, that's their stuff."

[Quote] If they paid for their seat and I happen to be spilling over on it and that offends them, that's their stuff."

No, that's your stuff. And it's on my seat.

Omg! DL HATES big people who spill into other people's seat!

And how can people get up and move seats? I thought they were assigned. I cannot believe she would be selfish enough to do this.

[quote]If they paid for their seat and I happen to be spilling over on it and that offends them, that's their stuff."

What a cunt.

New song!

Has she lost any weight in lockdown?

She’s down five pounds.

Just another two hundred and ninety to go.