April 1

Yes, I do. It would be a relief.

My doctor just called me and said I tested positive for Coronavirus.

What an asshole.

My thermometer told me I have a 103.7 fever. Asshole.

I just coughed on a stranger's face, before I could say "April's Fool", he punched me.

Not really.

Social distancing is over.

The LA Times revived this classic hoax from 1985.

I want to buy a thermometer. Will I be able to find one?

My husband has terrible anxiety attacks and I filed for unemployment for both of us. Not once but TWICE coworkers told him they already got unemployment or stimulus checks- so he came right back and attacked me accusingly like I filed them wrong. I yelled at him to shut the goddamn phone off for the rest of the day and he told me to go take a walk.

Uh, r9, are you in the wrong thread?

Anyway, to answer OP’s question, no, oddly enough for me, I’m not in the mood for jokes. My anxiety level (which I normally don’t have problems with) is a 12 on a scale of 1-10.

[quote]I want to buy a thermometer. Will I be able to find one?

You probably want a rectal one, right?

Tell a joke. Don't tell a joke. Tell how you are feeling today. I don't care.

My Barbra will turn 80 this month and probably not have a party.

Something funny.

There's already too much disinformation - throwing more stuff around that's false just for a joke is irresponsible.

Having an illiterate reality show "star" as POTUS, I feel as if we are living in a perpetual April fool's joke.

One of my coworkers posted on FB that the governor of Texas is banning alcohol beginning April 3rd. That was his April Fools joke. I had my suspicions before, but no I am sure of it. He is a painfully unfunny asshole. Cheers, Jerry, you're a dick!

I wonder I live in My would I get in trouble if I drove to Illinois to score some weed

I think you’ve already had enough weed.

I called the zoo and asked for Mr. Fox. That was HUGE when I was a kid. OMG, I'm old.

Actually I haven’t hadn’t had any weed for a long time.

R8 I Bought one brand new and cheap on ebay and received it in three days.

R17 My nephew pulled that on me this morning. He’s a real shit!

R21 I just got an ounce. Texas weed is good, and cheap.