I Just Spent Twenty Bucks On My First Subscription

You can expect your electronic key to the virtual executive club lounge to arrive by email within one business day.

You get this.

Fuck off you stupid cunt. Learn to create a thread!!!!!

You can now block threads and you get unlimited ffs.

You get 25% off your next appletini at the DL Cocktail Lounge.

From the size of whatever those martyrs in the picture above have under their caftans, OP?

I’d say you’re screwed.

Five exclamation points, r1?

Learn to punctuate.

You get grease fire starter kits, a pencil for dialing rotary telephones, a framed photo of Colton Haynes (or Timothee Chalumet), and an embossed recipe card for nutloaf.

R2, OP, R2!!!!!

Learn to count.

With every $20 or more Datalounge purchase, this beautiful, twelve piece Estée Lauder gift set is yours. Make sure to stop by the Estée Lauder counter on the main floor or the convenient 6th floor outpost. Thank you for shopping at Datalounge, before we go out of business. Have a beautiful day.

Oh no! Oh no! Sorry, r1, maybe. Apparently I have you blocked.

Bite me, r2.

Love r1.

[quote] Learn to count.

Learn to cunt.

I would like to know more about the Queen Helene face masque.

None of my post are saved. Maybe I am too mean?

OP, do you have an opinion on Cash Bars at Weddings?

A mini gargoyle statuette, suitable for roof installation.

R12 OP appears to know how to cunt very well - she learned that before she got here.

Your strainer is in the mail and should arrive shortly . . .

Is there virtual toilet paper in the virtual executive washroom? I might swipe some.

I’ve been here for a few years now on a free ride.

Just lately, I’ve been thinking about what’s important to me as my income dwindles and, yeah, it’s DL. I’m here everyday and I seem to need you bitches. So I’m all in, it feels good.

We have virtual bidets, r19. One fat ass fits all. Happy sluicing.

Appropriately enough, OP’s picture is of The Three MARYS!!!

I’ve been here since the beginning and just paid. I participated quite a bit in that Dialing the Phone with a Pencil thread

Ahh, you picked up on that, r22? That was fast.

[quote]Do I get some Tupperware or something?

What you don’t get is an invitation to join Manvox.

You get to pound Joel bareback

OP, when you get the invite make sure you upgrade to DL Gold. All the extra features just can't be beat.

Is there a Christmas Club?

If there’s a Christmas Club I might consider.

You should be receiving your swipe card for the VIP room any day now.

Is there a coat check, r29? Let’s have some dignity.

Members post 24/7, and free dry cleaning.

We should have a Mental Health section here, I’d like to discuss my obsession with my therapist, who must be obsessed with me.

Clearly he’s crazy.

Or correct because I’m just that charming.

[quote] We should have a Mental Health section here

We should have Politics, Lesbian, Soaps, Flames & Feaks, Health and Prancing Pony sections, among others.

OK, I cleaned it up a bit, here's the VIP room.

R33, why is there a picture of Ronan Farrow's father in it?

R34, because the Boss of this Family hung that picture there.

Initiation? Close your eyes. Stand tall. Wide stance.

KICK TO THE CUNTBONE.

r29 and r33 must have limited memberships.

This is the club platinum members frequent.

With membership you get cat clean-up.

No more litter snozz for you.

R33, you can’t just push your mess to the side.

You have nacreous layers of perma-cum.

You have it on the ceilings, you have it all over the walls.

I propose you be kicked out or enshrined right here, because, uck, you’re disgusting.

When your slippers stick to the floor you know you’re home.

I feel kind of great now. Like I’m standing straight up, hands on hips, jaw forward. This world is mine.

Am I mentally ill? I must be mentally ill.

Based on the OP pic,

The Mary on the left seems to be doing something nefarious to Middle Mary.

Right-hand Mary sees it, but says nothing. Right-hand Mary wants the next spot, if that bitch Mary-on-the-Left will ever share.