If The Coronavirus Had Hit Gilligan's Island

The cure would involve coconuts, of course.

Ginger Grant would say 'if I get it, I get it' and would host a lu'au on the beach. Lovey Howell would try to shame her, but all the boys and Mary Ann would still go.

Gillian would screw up an opportunity to leave the island by infecting everyone with it. They would all be isolated in their huts when a squadron of military jets fly right over the island.

Or a world famous scientist with caricature Einstein hair would become marooned on the Island, work with the Professor to create the coconut cure and then sneak off without rescuing the rest, fearful the Professor’s brilliance would eclipse him back in the scientific community.

They probably have a vaccine already. the time thing is to ramp up production. You do realize some vaccines are incubated in a chicken egg right?

Not sure which animal or egg we'd do this one in but they have to procure a bunch of them.

Lucifer, they didn’t have chickens on Gilligan’s Island!

Gilligan would have caught it from rimming.

Thurston's friend, the Commodore of the Greenwich Yacht Club, once told him to always travel with testing kits and several doses of malaria medications. Lovey's LV trunk was fully stocked. They islanders will be fine.

The Skipper has the diabetes. He’s fucked.

Mary Ann uses turtle eggs

And it created by Gilligan with Gladys the ape who he ended up having sweaty primate sex after he promised her she would win the Miss Castaway contest.

The rest would have to social distance into two entities .

Mr. Howell would start hoarding stuff in a remote cave. Lovey would invite everyone to a party there, to eat everything.

[quote] The Skipper has the diabetes. He’s fucked.

Plus, the Skipper is obese. That's another risk factor for COVID-19, according to the CDC website. Oh, boy, Skipper's in trouble.

Ginger would start acting like an asshole and demand a separate hut from Mary Ann. The men would work themselves ragged building Ginger's separate hut. Also, the men would forget to exercise social distancing, injecting more fear factor into the island.

Ginger would've given it to Mr Howell by now

Maryanne would have killed them all, for not wearing a mask.

The castaways would all have been infected by one of the island's frequent visitors who intentionally leaves them behind for reasons of the plot. The Professor would diagnose the illness, and invent a cure -But he would need a very rare berry that might possibly grow on the island, so everyone must search while practicing social distancing. Mr. Howell finds a bush that grows the berry, but he hoards them so he can make a fortune having the only cure once they are rescued. He hides the berries in an old boot. Hilarity ensues when Skipper borrows the boots to search the swamp areas, but before he can put them on Mary Ann borrows them to wear during her search. But Ginger sees Mary Ann take them and decides to grab them for herself. The Professor borrows them from Ginger because he plans to hike to the top of the volcano to set up a special signal fire, but he is prevented from putting them on by Mrs. Howell, who says they simply must be polished first. She calls Gilligan over to polish the boots, and while carrying them away he stumbles and falls, send all the berries flying out into the lagoon. Mr. Howell is devastated, as on only berry remains in the toe of the boot. Enough for the Professor to make one dose of his cure -But who will get it?

Stay tuned for Part Two!

The special two-part episode picks up the story two days later. Everyone on the island is coughing and running a fever. Sniff though he night, Mr. Howell can no longer smell his money. Lovey's lace handkerchiefs are all in tatters. The skipper can barely move from his hammock, and the girls feel too miserable to even open a coconut. Gilligan's toes have turned purple. The professor, barely able to hold a test tube due to his cough, has produced a single dose of his coronavirus (he calls it the coconut virus) cure. Everyone gathers in the Skipper and Gilligan's hut -six feet apart, of course. One by one each castaway puts forth his or her reasoning as to who should get the cure. The professor begins by saying the medicine should go to Mary Ann, as she is the youngest of the group. Ginger feels it should go to the Skipper, as he is the sickest and needs it most. Mrs. Howell thinks it should go to a Howell, but she can't decide if she should get it, or let her husband have it. Thurston, naturally, thinks that as the richest he should have it. The Skipper is barely conscious and cannot speak, so that leaves the deciding vote up to Gilligan, who says he must take a walk and think about it. "Just don't give it to that gorilla, Gilligan! We haven't forgotten the beauty pageant!" warns the Professor.

At this point, Sherwood Schwartz chose to film three possible endings:

1. Gilligan wanders aimlessly and discovers another berry bush that will provide sufficient medicine to cure everyone. He rushed back with an armload of berries and everyone agrees to help the Skipper while the Professor makes up the new medicine. Everyone is saved and Gilligan is a hero!

2. Gilligan returns from his walk and announces the single dose of medicine will go to winner of a nude wrestling contest. Naturally, the contest is no contest and the Professor is an easy winner -Despite Mr. Howell cheating. The Professor is cured and both he and Gilligan, despite his lingering covid toes, are both well a few days later. Sadly, the Skipper and the Howells die. Ginger and Mary Ann recover, but the ordeal ages both of them terribly. Gilligan moves into the Professor's hut and the two decide to make up for years of sexless existence.

3. On his walk Gilligan goes to the summit of the volcano and lights the Professor's special signal fire. Almost immediately, he sees rockets fired from a distant ship. The lights of the ship grow brighter, indicating it is coming their way. Gilligan rushes to tell the others that they will be rescued! A few hours later, a boat lands from the US Navy ship. The sailor in command quickly realizes that the castaways are all infected with the coronavirus. He orders his men to maintain social distancing and to wear masks. He knows he cannot endanger his ship by bringing the castaways aboard. The innocent castaways begin packing their belongings to return home -Not knowing that the sailors have decided to leave them behind and never enter the incident in the ship's log in order to avoid criminal charges. They return to their ship, leaving the castaways to die, but knowing the USS Theodore Roosevelt will be totally safe from the 'rona!