Husband Lost a Wrestling Match to Our Son
My husband and I are a gay couple raising a 17 year old son. They were the best of friends, getting along so well I sometimes felt like the third wheel in their close relationship. However, a recent incident fundamentally changed their dynamic and has put me in a difficult situation. Much of their bonding has revolved around being athletic, and my husband has always encouraged my son to become stronger. He took pride in his kid’s accomplishments in the gym until the day he found his son had surpassed him in strength. Both of them were wrestling around in the backyard, something they had done since my son was old enough to walk. In all those years their wrestling was a friendly game they played where a much stronger man was encouraging a boy to deal with the feeling of defeat whenever he got pinned.
But then the moment finally came when my son was able to pin his dad. It was of course inevitable as my son got bigger and my husband aged, but I think it came a little too early for a man who always prided himself on his physical power. After that day my husband became stern and even a bit cold with his son, making quite blunt statements about looking forward to the day he moves out. While I think this is a normal attitude (most parents want to see their children leave the nest), it has been quite a shock to my son who has not connected the change in his dad’s behavior to the incident in the backyard. He feels he lost his best friend and instinctually blames himself without understanding the underlying psychology of my husband feeling emasculated by his own “baby boy.”
I expressed my concerns to my husband, but he defensively denied my interpretation without offering any sort of explanation for his behavior. Now I feel torn between a husband whose pride is wounded, and a son who feels estranged from the most important person in the world to him. I am conflicted in my duties as a loyal husband and a loving father. Do I tell my son the theory I have as to why his dad is so different, or do I not embarrass my husband further by exposing his frankly ridiculous issues with masculinity?
by Anonymous | reply 49 | March 26, 2020 5:37 PM
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EST - and a bad one at that.
by Anonymous | reply 2 | March 20, 2020 6:13 PM
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Funny. I read this question on my newsfeed this morning. The OP changed the opening to a gay couple, but...
Offsite Linkby Anonymous | reply 3 | March 20, 2020 6:16 PM
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Aren they both hot? If so, send video of wrestling match.
by Anonymous | reply 4 | March 20, 2020 6:16 PM
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Please tell us they were wearing singlets and that you took lots of pics.
by Anonymous | reply 5 | March 20, 2020 6:17 PM
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A sitcom staple, but it's usually a basketball game. They just did this on Blackish as I recall.
If that letter is real, how sad for that person to find out that they are married to a sitcom cliche.
by Anonymous | reply 6 | March 20, 2020 6:18 PM
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What's going on here? There's a rash of shitty ESTs almost every day.
Are people so bored, and so unable to find something useful to do or even say that would help people, that we're get one bad EST after.
by Anonymous | reply 7 | March 20, 2020 6:18 PM
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Son flipped the relationship — now he’s the top. Reassure dad that with you, he’ll always be the top.
by Anonymous | reply 8 | March 20, 2020 6:20 PM
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"Nothing was ever quite right after spladdling his dad."
by Anonymous | reply 9 | March 20, 2020 6:21 PM
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This is so embarrassing. Block the OP and move along.
by Anonymous | reply 10 | March 20, 2020 6:24 PM
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R3 caught it.
OP tried to make this about gay men but I don't think a gay guy would be as likely to feel like "he isn't the man of the house anymore because his son overpowered him" etc. We're used to being emasculated by everyone. Straight guys aren't, so when it happens to them they treat it like the coming of the apocalypse.
by Anonymous | reply 12 | March 20, 2020 6:36 PM
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This tread WILL end in Covid-19 tainted tears.
by Anonymous | reply 13 | March 20, 2020 6:41 PM
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OP, I recommend nifty.org as a valuable information resource
by Anonymous | reply 15 | March 20, 2020 11:29 PM
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Your son sounds hot. Does he look like this?
Offsite Linkby Anonymous | reply 16 | March 20, 2020 11:37 PM
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Is your son cut or uncut?
by Anonymous | reply 17 | March 21, 2020 12:02 AM
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R8 My hubby can pin me any time he wants, but I don't put up much of a fight.
by Anonymous | reply 18 | March 21, 2020 12:19 AM
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Honestly. What kind of father wrestles with his son? Gay or straight?
Totally demented.
by Anonymous | reply 19 | March 21, 2020 12:28 AM
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I was waiting for the OP to add in the comments about "a shit brickhouse" and "puny cocklet", but, alas.
by Anonymous | reply 20 | March 21, 2020 12:31 AM
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Sounds like the fuckin Joel troll making up some new shit.
by Anonymous | reply 21 | March 21, 2020 1:23 AM
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I believe this is true. Too many details. OP, tell your punk ass husband to get a fkin grip and man up. He sounds like a sociopath. How dare he tell yall's child that he cannot wait until he moves out.
by Anonymous | reply 22 | March 21, 2020 3:17 PM
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Maybe if your make believe son gave his "Dad" a wedgie or pulled his thong up and snapped it off while Daddy was hard and hurt him somehow there would be tension; otherwise, this is a NONSENSE story.
by Anonymous | reply 23 | March 21, 2020 4:14 PM
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Unless they were wrestling nude like the ancient Greeks AND you post pics or video, I'm not interested.
by Anonymous | reply 24 | March 21, 2020 4:20 PM
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Happier Times.....so sad about all of this.
Offsite Linkby Anonymous | reply 25 | March 21, 2020 4:23 PM
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R25. That is Joel and Mitzi's Father in the above photo.
by Anonymous | reply 26 | March 21, 2020 4:24 PM
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In your fevered dreams, R26. In your dreams.
This is Mitzi's father:
Offsite Linkby Anonymous | reply 27 | March 21, 2020 4:36 PM
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Wasn’t this the plot of the latest Family Dick episode that ended in a threeway dp of the son to put him in his place? Good for them finding cross platform marketing strategies.
by Anonymous | reply 28 | March 21, 2020 5:25 PM
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Post the link to that one please, R28?
by Anonymous | reply 29 | March 21, 2020 5:27 PM
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The only wrestling that happened was the WWE match playing on TV.
by Anonymous | reply 30 | March 21, 2020 5:28 PM
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EST or not, this whole “dynamic” sounds really passive-aggressive, and emotionally abusive:
“Both of them were wrestling around in the backyard, something they had done since my son was old enough to walk. In all those years their wrestling was a friendly game they played where a much stronger man was encouraging a boy to deal with the feeling of defeat whenever he got pinned.”
Encouraging a boy to deal with the feeling of defeat whenever he got pinned????
Who thinks like this, and more importantly, who thinks this is “fun”?
JFC, if this is any way true, that household is fucked up beyond wrestling matches and a boy coming of age. We’re that my husband, I would have put a stop to that shit IMMEDIATELY.
NO ONE gets to do that to my kid. Nope. NO ONE.
by Anonymous | reply 31 | March 21, 2020 5:38 PM
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-82.5/10
There should have been some hanky panky. That would have brought your score up to -11/10.
by Anonymous | reply 32 | March 21, 2020 5:54 PM
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All who believe this to be true, please see r3.
by Anonymous | reply 34 | March 21, 2020 7:43 PM
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Anyone who believes this is true is barely sentient. Anyone who thinks the people posting in this thread actually believe this is true is even less sentient. Hint to R34: I'm talking about you.
by Anonymous | reply 36 | March 21, 2020 7:53 PM
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The three of you should have a therapeutic circle jerk.
by Anonymous | reply 37 | March 21, 2020 8:00 PM
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So? Give him a shoe to bite on and some gin.
by Anonymous | reply 38 | March 21, 2020 8:08 PM
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Thank you R36. Like I don't know that people here know how to use google.
by Anonymous | reply 39 | March 21, 2020 8:14 PM
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Some of you are so cynical. Why does this story have to be made up? Because it doesn't fit neatly into your black/white worldview of plausibility. I believe the OP.
by Anonymous | reply 40 | March 21, 2020 9:32 PM
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They both wrestled until every piece of clothing was torn off, your husband had a raging hard on and your son asked is that all of it and walked away. This was bound to happen.
by Anonymous | reply 41 | March 26, 2020 4:19 PM
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[quote] Why does this story have to be made up?
Uh, because the source of the story is VERY CLEARLY posted at R3
by Anonymous | reply 43 | March 26, 2020 4:21 PM
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Obviously fake, but “The Great Santini” used this trope with basketball to great dramatic effect.
In reality — every year my dad would ask me to help him carry the huge heavy air conditioner up from the basement. He would always take “the heavy end” which held the compressor.
Around my junior year of HS we were really struggling around the turn in the staircase. I sad “put it down & let me take the heavy end.” He did, we switched places and there were no ensuing psychological scars or difficulties.
by Anonymous | reply 44 | March 26, 2020 4:36 PM
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Obviously the father realized he was getting turned on by a hot young body rubbing against him and knew from that point on he couldnt touch the boy again or there would be sexual activity . Now he spends all of his time trying so hard to suppress the wicked thoughts hes having about his "son" and furiously masturbating to father/son porn while simultaneously berating himself for doing so. This will end with them killing the other dad and burying him is said backyard and living as a couple .
by Anonymous | reply 45 | March 26, 2020 4:40 PM
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R40 and R43 are doing a two out of three match in the back yard.
Offsite Linkby Anonymous | reply 46 | March 26, 2020 5:04 PM
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They need to work it out through sex.
by Anonymous | reply 47 | March 26, 2020 5:14 PM
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Letter writer is Mrs. John Irving, posing as a gay male.
by Anonymous | reply 48 | March 26, 2020 5:19 PM
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What's wrong with a grown man wrestling with teen boys? Don't see a problem here
by Anonymous | reply 49 | March 26, 2020 5:37 PM
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