Are you running out of toilet paper?

Go buy some toilet paper.

Wait for you neighbor to go to work and then...

*your

Find the person in your neighborhood who's hoarding it. We wouldn't be having supply problems if it weren't for hoarders.

Get a bidet.

Wash your ass in the sink with gentle cleanser. Use face flannels for drying.

I got a bulk box of 80 rolls on Amazon today. I’m set for 2020.

The other day I bought 17 rolls of individually wrapped toilet paper in a convenience store miles away from where I live.

People obsessive about toilet rolls have dingleberries. Fact.

Have Erna as a house guest... they will gladly lick your dirty ass clean after every dump.

Go to a public park with bathrooms and steal some.

Scat must be more prevalent than I had thought.

Nope. I had just bought a 12 pack when I started seeing the reports of Australians buying so much tp. I decided that people were going to see those same reports and freak out so I went and bought another 12 pack. I should be fine for a while.

This is the first time I’ve ever been glad I live in deplorable country - these bitches were watching Fox and still thought it was a hoax and I was stocked up before they got their heads out of their asses.

Consider a sponge. It's what the ancients used to wipe their assholes, and they shared these small sponges at communal shitters. But seriously, cut a new synthetic sponge into ass-able sizes. Use them as you would toilet paper. Wash and rinse the sponges when you're done using them, and keep them in a bowl of mildly bleachy water under the sink where they will be ever ready. Who needs paper anyway?

Bidet from Amazon. You’ll need one roll per month after that.

I just bought a bidet from amazon. Partner can install it.

We’re good to go

I will run out next week, I through a roll every 2 days or so.

Kleenex. Paper towels. Leaves.

Get the scat troll to lick it clean after you deposit into his mouth!

Is your home carpeted?

I have a month's supply. Figured it would be back in stock by the time that ran out.

The dollar store I went to yesterday had a lot

There’s usually a shower stall in the same room as the toilet. Why hot just take a quick rinse of your ass crack after shitting? No sponge needed. And your ass will actually get clean.

If you go to the store when it first opens, you're likely to find stock of toilet paper. According to neighbors, that's been running out the fastest every day.

Costco has plenty.

Try a liquid diet.

How much toilet paper do people need!? I usually buy those individual Scott rolls they sale and it last me a couple weeks.

No, Datalounge scared me several weeks ago into stocking up on paper goods. I'm set for six weeks or so. By then things should have settled down a bit.

Consider using your hand like people in India. It's why they eat and shake hands with their left hand because they wipe their asses with the right hand.

I bought a 12 pack of the really big rolls on the 1st of March. Until a week ago I was going through 1 roll every week and a half as I've always been very generous with the butt ribbon. But since this situation went to hell a week ago I've started being less generous. I've got 8 1/2 rolls left so I think I can go another 4 months plus on that if need be. I'm a one time a day guy.

Costco has mountains and a 1 per customer limit so you can pick up 24 rolls whenever you like.

[quote]I will run out next week, I through a roll every 2 days or so.

!!!

I had to go to Target at dawn to get some. It was pouring rain, sheets coming down sideways and there were people lined up around the block waiting for the place to open. That seemed really dumb to me: catching pneumonia in the attempt to have supplies in case you catch pneumonia. There was one insane person trying to get someone on the phone to come down to get a second package that she was hoarding right there in the store because of the 1 item per person rule. I, also, bought a lot of cleaning supplies and some basic shit I was out of but couldn’t rationalize going to the store to get. I feel relieved to have TP and clorox wipes. I’d done grocery shopping at 3 different stores and they’d all been out of that kind of stuff.

I don’t need just any toilet paper. I need Charmin!!