Orlando Bloom Says He Was Celibate, Didn’t Masturbate For Months Before Katy Perry

“Completely nothing,” he recalled. “It was insane. I don’t think it’s healthy. I don’t think it was advisable. You have to keep it moving down there.”

I really don't care, do u?

Isn’t he gay?

Or at least in gay love with Virgo?

I heard he stalked a gay extra who worked on one of his films. I heard this from someone I consider fairly reliable.

He must have torn apart her pussy the first time they did the nasty.

I guess when you're really horny you'll fuck anyone.

Oops, obviously meant Viggo ☺️☺️

Is he done with Bana as well?

And did he saw why he did such a stupid thing? Because that could be the only infinitesimally interesting thing about this NON STORY.

Uh no r6. That means he would have cum in 2 seconds flat. How disappointing that must have been.

How come these 2 aren't getting married? Katy Perry married Russell Brand (no baby), but not her baby's father? I thought she grew up in an evangelical Christian household.

If I looked like Orlando Bloom I'd have sex with myself constantly.

Of course ,he's gay. Duh.

Apparently they are getting married, r11.

From the Times interview: [quote]He and Perry are due to marry “very, very soon”, he says. “But I’m not joking when I say that coronavirus might have a play in whether we put things on ice, because we’re going to be travelling and we don’t want anyone to feel uncomfortable.” He proposed on Valentine’s Day last year, throwing a surprise party full of heart-shaped balloons.

Man, I can never get the quote formatting right!

He's a bi slut that fucks anything and has herpes. Gross.

How can you not masturbate especially at his age? Even if you don't cum, don't you have to wank it and maybe edge a little?

Lies lies lies

[quote]That means he would have cum in 2 seconds flat. How disappointing that must have been.

It was probably a welcome relief after dating John Mayer.

Did he fiddle with his big titties at least?

I don’t believe him for a second.

Two has beens. Who gives a shit?

I'd be happy to help him out. He has a nice suckable, wankable intact cock.

I prefer Rupert Friend

Maybe he doesn't count gay sex as real sex.

Why? Did he have an HIV scare?

[quote]How can you not masturbate especially at his age?

He's 43.

[quote]How come these 2 aren't getting married? Katy Perry married Russell Brand (no baby), but not her baby's father? I thought she grew up in an evangelical Christian household.

Does she seem like she's still an evangelical Christian to you? People throw off the religions they're raised in all the time.

R28 i don't blame her. Katy's childhood was probably fucked up.

I think I speak for everyone when I say that Orlando is super hot and only gets hotter every year.

He can motorboat Katy and eat cupcakes at the same time.

Im sure he is still jerking off...she's repulsive

Gosh, Orlando....thanks so much for sharing.

I heard that they both had massive coke issues. Could explain the limp noodle, no?

His celibacy make much sense as Miranda Kerr supposedly said that Orlando smelled really bad.

With such massive dong like his, wouldn't he just pass out if blood has to flow into that massive dong during raging erection?

I'm sure nothing has changed in that department...

That dong is fluffed..the last pic on the OMG blog shows in pulling on it.

The last news I read about Perry and Bloom is that there was "friction" in their relationship.

R39 “friction” could mean anything. Though I imagine in this case it’s cold feet on Orlando’s part. He’s clearly not inclined to marry the woman so why go through it? Sometimes money isn’t enough.

Isn’t there a strong stoical handsome silver fox in his 60s who can settle Orlando down a bit and bring him to heel? Even in his 40s Bloom seems too much of a fidget and a childish rake for most women, and surely he can’t just fuck around with University students and teen popstars forever.

[quote]How can you not masturbate especially at his age?

This, they are actually very in vogue right now.

R23 nothing against the nudity but these pictures on that surfboard look so weird. Are they staged or something?

[quote] Are they staged or something?

Welcome to the world, Baby New Year!

[Quote] Are they staged or something?

He’s a strange bird, isn’t he? Gay or not he makes weird choices, dresses like he’s a bit unhinged and expresses himself oddly to boot. It’s charming for all that, I suppose.

His accent sorely needs ironing out though. He sounds like he was raised a cashed-up bogan in Perth, shipped off to boarding school in Maine where he was fucking his expat schoolmaster, then on graduating followed said teacher to live with him back in Camden for twenty years. Almost trace of his native speaking voice is gone.

Orland Bloom

R39 the couple’s official press comments about their relationship sound like excellent fodder for the Celebrity Lie Translator thread.

[quote] PERRY: I have consciously or unconsciously picked a partner that makes sure I keep evolving into the best version of myself. There’s a lot of friction between my partner and I, but that friction breeds something beautiful. It can breed a lot of light. It’s just one of those relationships. I don’t know about anyone else that’s listening, whatever kind of relationship they’ve had—and I’ve had many—but it’s like we basically, we get down to the mat and come back up every time.

r: “I have mad issues because I never properly addressed my dependency problem or acknowledged my shadow, meaning I never say “no” when I should to my handlers when they pick out these disgusting low-talent fading himbos for me to partner with. I’m being literal when I say this shitty miserable relationship breeds - I want a pretty English kid that the world will take notice of, and this is just what I have to suffer to get one. My kid is going to be EVERYWHERE with the biggest spotlight - take that, Sparkle! The other main saving grace of this arrangement is that I’m almost as big of a slut and a sex addict as DH, so at least we can negotiate that part of our relationship well around scheduling childcare and me continuing to tour. Also there’s no threat of him eclipsing me in popularity, I’m fundamentally better than he is in all the ways that matter, and he’s physically weak & submissive by nature so I know I’ll always get my way. If this is the best my agents can find for a beard, I still I think this can work in my favor.”

[quote] BLOOM: I love kids. She’s great with kids. It would be a wonderful thing. We are shooting for that. It’s like this wild mustang. If we can just wrangle this beast and get on it, we’ll have the ride of our life.

r: “To tell the truth I prefer to fuck single people (gender no issue) under 30 who aren’t famous and aren’t American, and in any event I think Katherine about as pleasant as an intractable broodmare (which incidentally is all I’m with her for as these days kids are the perfect PR vehicle). This is going to be horrid work from conception to actually raising yet more brats I don’t care about, but there’s my career visibility and public perception to think about so I’m going through with it. Maybe we can pitch the birth and early years as a reality tv series? She’s going to be the one doing all the work (in conjunction with paid help) anyway, so all I have to do is donate the sperm and stage cutesy social media content to make me look the perfect dad. Sorted.”

That scraggly beard of his has never done him any favors.

He needs to keep clean-shaven, although, if he did that he’d look like a ten-year old. 😛😛,

R47 ugh I hope there isn't a reality show in the near future.

I wonder if he tossed off thinking about dwarves...

She's announced that she's preggers with his baby.

His son he had with Miranda Kerr is rumored to not be his.

Why do we need to know this? I think this is great example of "oversharing."

R52 any clue as to who the actual father is?

No r54...Miranda was a busy girl, so it could have been anyone. The ironic part is that Orlando was born under similar circumstances...his biological father was one of his mother’s boyfriends, not his legal father.

R55 well as long as it wasn't Bieber's. I just found that whole saga really pathetic.

TMI...do people REALLY care about this shit?

[quote] his biological father was one of his mother’s boyfriends

Who is his biological father precisely?

R58 it sounds like a bit of a mindscrew situation. Despite technically having had two dads, ‘Lan didn’t really have a father figure in his life at all from age 4-14 - arguably when a boy most needs one. Perhaps that’s why as a grown man himself he’s become such a messy closet-case bisexual actor rather than a well-adjusted straight or gay in a more respectable trade.

From the wiki:

[quote] Orlando initially believed that his biological father was his mother's husband (his stepfather), the Jewish South African-born anti-Apartheid novelist Harry Saul Bloom (1913–1981), who died when Bloom was four years old. However, when he was thirteen, Bloom's mother revealed to him that his biological father was actually Colin Stone, his mother's partner and family friend. Stone, the principal of the Concorde International language school, became Orlando Bloom's legal guardian after Harry Bloom's death.

Don’t think me bitter or rude or glib in saying so, I mean this as a genuine question - why is he now a celebrated actor? He has an honorary degree in the art, various award nominations, a star on the Boulevard plus a brilliant pedigree from the Guildhall School...but I don’t know of a single acclaimed performance that he’s given.

Of the films I’ve seen starring him, he generally works as a serviceable ensemble player in a sideplot (and does a fine job). The couple of leads I’ve seen him take, he seems to have trouble establishing a firm ground from which to work and doesn’t make it easy for a viewer to follow his character or arc; I’m thinking here in particular of KINGDOM OF HEAVEN, but that’s not the only example.

Disclaimer: I haven’t followed his career closely at all so I’m sure there’s a couple of excellent film or stage turns he’s done that I simply haven’t seen, hence my confusion.

ELIZABETHTOWN was supposed to make an impact on audiences, but the only memorable thing about wasn’t Bloom, but that it was the film debut of Paula Deen.

How did it come up and why did he respond?

R61 see what you mean. I just looked it the trailer and a couple of clips, and while it seems sweet and perhaps entertaining I can’t see any spark of genius that jumps out at me. It’s what I would call a ‘Live, Laugh, Love’ movie.

Orlando plays a shoe designer in it, of all things (is that little joke at his or put expense?) He looks right at the camera in this little scene, and I have no idea if that was deliberate or not. There’s something really gross and artificial about watching him kiss women, too, but maybe that’s just me.

Is he white?

I always thought he was half Chinese

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[quote] Who knows what Sonia Copeland-Bloom got up to in her salad days?

Salad days for sure - Chinese here, Roma there and a bit of South African Jewish man for seasoning.

This thread took an insane turn from the original stupid crude mundane premise, and I kind of love that. There’s so much we still don’t know about Orlando, or his gadabout mother!

I wonder if a teen Orlando ever had brushes with homoseshuality in school or College. He did go to King’s (a feeder school for Etonians) and then drama school, after all...

Where’s the photo of him kissing Viggo Mortensen?

Which one, R69? There are several.

Thanks r70, post more....

As you wish, R71.

So it shall be written; so it shall be done.

There are also some of Viggo kissing Orlando and of the two embracing or otherwise being intimate.

Viggo looks uncomfortable. He’s one of those pretentious Scandi bohemian types, and I get the impression he looked down on Orlando as a populist chav, somewhat.

Heart-shaped balloons?

I prefer this one

I love the hold Eric has on him.

People can stand that close to Pitt, who is known for NOT smelling exactly like a rose?

Whose skin is more yellow at R79 - Bloom’s or Pitt’s?

The extended version of his comment really makes him sound a prize bimbo, it’s fantastic.

[quote] Orlando shared that he took this recommendation from his friend, surfer Laird Hamilton: “If you want to be serious about a relationship, go celibate for a few months and figure it out.” Orlando says: "It takes away the idea of going to a party and thinking, 'Who am I going to meet?' I was suddenly like, 'Oh, I can have a relationship with a woman that is just friends.” To his surprise, Bloom stayed abstinent for six months: “I was really enjoying the way I was relating to women, and to the feminine within myself.”

Was he crossdressing, or just letting his dear friend Laird fuck him like a girl?

But, why?