Petty Pandemic complaints

When you went to the supermarket, you should've put the lotion in the basket.

^I wanted the hose again.

I'm tired of getting emails from every company I ever did business with to hear how they are handling the situation.

OP loves to fist herself and the Aveeno is annoying to her sweet asshole.

Ain’t nobody gonna teach Datalounge a thing about social distancing. We the experts. Emphasis on pert.

YES, R3!

I got like ten of them.

Very true, R3.

I appreciate Gloria teaching us to wash our hands but you don't need to run the water for 20 seconds, just lather your hands for 20 seconds.

Dairy Queen cancelled "Free Cone Day" on 3/19.

I know this because they sent me an email.

I don't recall signing up for DQ emails.

With all these Mar-a-Lago Coronavirus infections, we want guests tested BEFORE we suck their blood.

Speak for yourselves. I, for one, am relieved to know Calvin Klein is on top of this.

People who aren't used to washing their hands after they piss are annoying, especially when they whine about washing their hands as frequently as a person would be expected to regardless of whether or not there is an "epidemic" or "pandemic".

Too much overload. And no loads.

Ha R10!

Makers of clutch pearls are gouging us.

Don’t you already have clutch pearls?

R3, Agreed. The info on the emails and the tone of how it's written is extremely patronizing and makes the sender sound extremely stupid. Do they realize the negative effect they're having? Hate the phony pablum.

I need a haircut and I’m afraid to get one.

I'm braving a haircut tomorrow after work while the place is still open.

Aquaphor Healing Ointment is great for chapped hands.

[quote]Speak for yourselves. I, for one, am relieved to know Calvin Klein is on top of this.

Guess there's a first time for everything in a national crisis.

Thanks, R19. I just ordered some.

Rachel Maddow is in 150% drama mode. World in complete chaos for 1-2 years. I switched it off. I have a high tolerance for her mania but it's currently de trop.

I guess things like hands and workouts don't matter so much anymore.

I'm tired of hearing about how all these businesses are using hospital grade disinfectant.

Not to get all Bernie, but give it to the fucking hospitals.

Nobody needs a haircut, guys. Let it grow for now. Most people are going to have shaggy hair soon, and it will be a sign they are paying attention and not risking exposure unnecessarily.

But do shave your beards. No one needs that petri dish of spittle and phlegm surrounding their mouth, nose, and eyes.

Also, I'm at home alone, staying in, not shopping, not encountering other people in person, and I'm not washing my hands every five minutes. Yes, I wash them when it's appropriate -- after urinating or even going into the bathroom for anything, before eating, etc. But I'm not going crazy with the hand-washing for no good reason.

Next time I go to the grocery store, I'll wash my hands and face before I go, I'll use hand-sanitizer on the cart and after I'm finished, and I'll come home and wash my hands again. But I'm not going to do it 30 times a day when I'm not leaving the house and not exposing myself to unusual germs.

I just sent this to my kids:

Omg .. people are acting like southern hospitality. Here I'll hold the door for you at the doctor's. Ignoring the yellow sign on the door, 6ft distancing and only 10 people in the waiting room at a time. Stay away from me!! And my 88 year old mom. This snotty kid said at least another m acknowledge the niceness of holding a door. I did say thank you, but I'll take care of it. FU little twit.!! I use this video to wash my hands correctly (I work in the public) minus the hands cutting off at the end!!! He was trying to be funny???

[quote]But do shave your beards. No one needs that petri dish of spittle and phlegm surrounding their mouth, nose, and eyes.

Agree. I bet this mess kills the beard phenomenon. Which I'll miss. Sexy.

It's a pandemic, no one's working or going anywhere but people are still not responding to their fucking texts or e-mails. YOU HAVE NO EXCUSE! I have to figure out this goddamn budget before the world ends and I know you're at home binging Bojack Horseman, you dickheads! I see your Instas!

I had to shave my beard as well.

Grindr is hopping, but I'm too scared to do anything. And the one guy I'd risk it for is being good as well.

Happy about yoga classes streaming online in my city and having an excuse to watch endless amounts of TV and read.

NOT happy about trying to figure out three meals a day. So boring.

I saw a doctor on TV yesterday saying that shaving your beard is probably a good idea since this is a hardy virus that can live on surfaces for awhile.

Well fiddle dee dee! How is Miss Lindsey Graham coping with those rough hands?

For R29. Problem solved.

Missing my weekly masturbation group. Jerking off on Skype just doesn’t do it for me. #firstworldproblem

Jesus, R19–It’s petrolem jelly! Put this stuff on your hands and you can’t touch anything for hours. Thanks a lot.

I have to drink instant?! Fuck my life.

I miss eating out. So much more glamorous than being forced to cook. When I’m truly bored I usually go to the movie theater. Now I’m stuck watching Netflix which isn’t the same.

Heard at Burlington VT's City Market (a/k/a Shitty Markup). "No clantro! They don't have cilantro! And the tomatilos look TERRIBLE! I'm having trouble handling this!"

I can’t get a haircut now, they’re already closed down. I had gone almost four weeks between cuts this last time because I was prepping for tax appointments. Now what? Three more weeks at least? I don’t remember what I look like with hair that long. It wasn’t cute.

Another one who is getting more pissed at the corporate marketing emails - from the “CEO” 🙄- saying “we are here for you during this crisis”. Screw you - you could care less if I died. You are just desperate for money. Dripping with hypocrisy.

Is it petty to hate on the deplorable assholes that I saw taking ZERO precaustions today? I went home from the grocery store and doused myself with bleach.

I had to buy a different flavor of Bear Naked granola this morning, because the store was out of Maple Pecan.

When will this crisis end?!

My bad R35. I saw that post and thought about giving you a warning. It is effective but one of those things where you need to do a Doris Day and lube up at night and put on cotton gloves or something. They'll be dewey fresh for the next day though.

So New Jersey is now on lockdown. Surprised that liquor stores are deemed “essential.”

I miss my freedom. I feel like I'm in a prison. I've had to cancel a ton of my future plans. And yes, like OP said, my hands are getting drier by the minute thanks to all the handwashing. I know it's petty though, and I know the qurantine and social distancing is for a good cause. It still sucks though.

Do all news people reporting from home shop at Ikea? I've yet to see one interesting home.

Except for going to the grocery store, I have no place to wear my caftans and earrings!

[quote]I can’t get a haircut now, they’re already closed down. I had gone almost four weeks between cuts this last time because I was prepping for tax appointments. Now what? Three more weeks at least?

Or possibly 9 months, according to Andrew Cuomo.

r45 lotion with coco butter. Black people have been using it for ages.

[quote]So New Jersey is now on lockdown. Surprised that liquor stores are deemed “essential.”

R44 = Carrie Nation. As far as I'm concerned, liquor stores are more essential than ever right now.

Vodka, celery, limes, big olives, horseradish, and Clamato juice are essential now.

Fuck the toilet paper - I'm hoarding Bloody Mary fixin's.

No new Eastenders episodes, thanks to the DL'rs that got me watching it again...I loathe and detest you.

I have a new earworm.

I can't get the background option to work correctly on my Zoom.

You want petty? I'll give you petty.

The pools at my condo complex are closed.

I have absolutely no excuse not to unpack the remaining boxes from when I moved last summer.

^nervous exhaustion?

Debating whether it's worth showering, if only because I should retrieve the mail down from the lobby of my building.

Shower, get dressed. Perchance brush my teeth.

Nah...