Let’s be “Outrageous Fortune” starring Bette Midler and Shelley Long

I'm nine years of ballet, asshole!

I'm the rubber ducky lunchbox filled with cash.

I'm the fact that we are both going to be raped and murdered right here in this building.

I'm the cab driver who's not going to kill them because they're going to be raped and murdered in THIS BUILDING.

I am the apartment that always looks like this.

I’m George Carlin...in drag

I am the amused ticket agent.

Great minds, R3!

I'm the fact that even on a clearly cartoony film poster Shelley Long has no tits.

I’m Bette, more of a pro than Shelley — both of my fucking shoes stayed ON, dahling!

Right back atcha, [R4]!

I’m 1987 — I still call them “Indians.”

I'm vowel groups... oh, excuse me... wowul groopz

I'm Ninja Vixens.

I'm the entire Wheat Belt, waiting to be wiped out by a few drops of the toxin released into the first wind blowing due east.

I am the xmas ornament Sandy is wearing as an earring.

I am their agents squabbling over billing.

I am thin Oprah wading into their quasi feud.

I am the laugh out loud penis scene in the morgue.

That clip at R18...damn! Apparently the entire cast of Cheers disliked her, too.

I'm a fucking pumpkin costume.

Let’s be what now?

r20 Nicholas Colosanto didn't, when Mr Colosanto died Shelley Long lost her friend, as did the character of Diane. Coach was the heart of the show.

R18, On another Oprah, Kathleen Turner threw similar shade on Tony Perkins, her co-star in "Crimes of Passion".

^ *Colasanto

Bette is no bed of roses herself!

I am Sophie in utero.

I watched this movie so many times as a kid

It's no Troop Beverly Hills

Cum, get it?

Midler looks great on Oprah. That's her Wind Beneath My Wings hair.

I'm Peter Coyote. And I have these two bitches fighting over me.

I’m the urine on the floor that causes Shelley Long to moan, “Oh, is that urine I see on the floor?”

I am every man she ever slept with, and we are way into double didgets here, has always come back for more.

I'm Betty and Shelley's cunts, big enough to suck in OP whole and suffocate her.

I'm Howie workin' at the telephone company, fantasising that this dirty, loud-mouthed broad "Sand" looks something like Michelle what's-her-name from Scarface but with the tits of Dolly Parton..

I’m the pay phone Bette uses and abuses - “give me back my fucken QUARTER!”

I’m the boys’ nice buns

I’m Sandy’s look of dismay after she saved you from being throttled.

I'm the sad, single gay hoping Outrageous Fortune will be released on Blu-Ray!

I'm the Eastern airlines flight connecting in Kansas City offered up on way to Albuquerque

I’m the phone company. You don’t have to pay me.

I’m the Shakespearean school of weirdness.

I’m Sandy. I attacked Michael Santers at a Burger King.

I’m the defiled Christmas tree at Saks.

I’m Shelley Long’s character. I’m too weird to hit

I'm the side of the Mississippi where Shelly's name appears above Bette's on the posters.

I'm Bette's apartment. I get to be Bette's apartment because I used to live in it for a few months 1983-84.

I am the sequel if the two divas got along.

I'm Rat Woman!

I'm the scene where they offer taking turns blowing that guy. I start out funny and then get... a little awkward?

I'm the dingbats that will lead us right to him.

I’m the fortunate black tights covering Christopher McDonald’s plump, muscular ass.

I’m the irritation and boredom felt by all gay men when the action moved to Albuquerque and George Carlin became a focus.

I'm Shelley's lifesaving grand jeté.

I'm Bette's orange, shaved minge.

I'm the guy whose voice you can not place. I do voiceovers for about 1 million different commercials and documentaries. .

Im the young bicurious guy in the theater, with my girlfriend, trying not to laugh at the earring joke. After all, I'm doing her a favor seeing a chick flick.

I’m the check Shelley’s dad floats out his apartment window to pay for the Stanislavsky acting lessons that her mother would not pay for.

I like this movie but much prefer Ruthless People from the same era.

I’m A DL eldergay. I’m furiously searching for a pic of Christopher McDonald’s hot ass in black tights. Help!

I'm the fingernail that Bette chips while climbing up a mountain that makes her look at it and say, "Aw, nuts."

A very funny movie.

Can you imagine a film with both O and Bette?

Good one, R62.

I'm the tobacco shop owner played by Jerry Zaks, tricked by a couple of floozies

[quote]Why are there no hot guys in this movie?

See R53.

I'm the kidney in Kansas City that ain't gettin' any fresher.

I'm the one white guy in the neighborhood.

I'm the west coast ad campaign where Bette gets top billing

Peter Coyote was hot.

Peter Coyote is unconventional looking, but I do also find him attractive.

Now I want to go to Home depot.