Datalounge posts from the year 2040

Jabba's cooch still stinks!

*Breaking*

Following a complete replacement of all joints and organs, Liza Minnelli is back and on tour with her new show "Liza Minnelli: A Whole New Me!"

I'm going to see the movie premiere of Sondheim's musical "Merrily We Roll Along." I've forgotten who any of these people were when it started filming back in 2019 because none of them became stars. And since the musical never worked on stage, I doubt the film will work.

Is Barron The Hottest Trump President Yet?

Goldie Hawn is Dead To Me!

Jamie Lee Curtis' vital organs star in Halloween 2040!

Has anyone else's robot twink been giving them attitude lately?

In other news, Cher will open her 2040 North American tour at Bilgewater’s Baltimore.

Breaking News: Archie Windsor has not invited his mother Meghan, Duchess of Sussex to his forthcoming wedding. Meghan in tears as she gives tearful interview about how ungrateful he is.

Late Night with Mayor Pete: canceled at last

Stars gather to wish Dame Olivia de Havilland a happy birthday.

[quote] Has anyone else's robot twink been giving them attitude lately?

That’s not a bug, it’s a feature.

Generation Alpha is so lazy and entitled and RUDE! I tried to pay for my coffee with cash this morning and the barista made such a scene about giving me change. I told zher, you know some places used to ONLY accept cash. Then zhe called me a hairlipped cunt flap and told me to take my fucking coffee and get the fuck out...these kids have no respect! What ever happened to customer service?

This model in the Soylent Blue ad is "thicc alpha boss goals" and is (fire emoji).

...I hope he doesn't get turned into food, but if he does I might consider switching from Soylent Red.

Euphoria is overrated. I miss depression. It was character building. All this happy classy bullshit is making me . . . too happy.

Happy-clappy*

Do you suppose Queen Elizabeth II will EVER die?

Poor Prince George has seen his grandfather be the first person ever to die of severe edema, and then his father killed by Prince Harry in a BPD rage, and yet the old bat still clings to life and refuses to pass on the crown to her great-grandson.

Oh, look, another "trans" person who REGRETS their surgery.

Breaking: Cher Announces Final Retirement Tour

Bernie Sanders revived from his cryogenic statis chamber in preperation for presidential run, says "I'm in it to win it this time!"

Jennifer Aniston - Pregnant at last!

In 2040, still G hasn't won an Oscar yet. Sad.

Happy 32nd birthday to Catherine Zeta-Jones!

OOH, Momma LIKEY!

This SPACE CAGEMEAT from the prisons of the XENON SECTOR has Momma's mussy HISSING like a retro-rocket in the TROPOSPHERE!

Glenn Close never got her Oscar. Will they snub her for the "in memoriam" too?

All the really witty posters got wiped out by the Coronavirus in the year 2020. But I'll NEVER stop coming here and whining about the good old days!

Ernst's husbear dies tragically.

20 Years Ago Today: Pete Davidson, Gone Too Soon

[quote]Goldie Hawn is Dead To Me!

What was on her cortical implant?

How’s Your Gay Concentration Camp? We have WiFi!

New Evidence On How The Russians Recruited Jill Stein To Steal The 2016 Election From Hillary

My pussy still stinks.

Did you work at Gap from 1992 to 2006 and saved the paper playlists that came with each month's CD/tape? If so, would you please share them with me? Email me at the blog:

(Hopefully, I won't still be having to post this in 2040).

Eldergays. Tell us about cable television

The Start of a Meal, Tiffany Trump's Tell-All Memoir.

Wow. She Hated her Family, mostly Dad.

I thought Della would make a ridiculous post about Aaron and Danica's oldest child graduating from high school.

r33 No one in 2040 will have any idea what The Gap was.

Who is old enough to remember when the planet was called Earth?

(Before Jeff Bezos bought it and renamed it Amazonia.)

Another frau mommy blogger recipe using Soylent Green where she goes on and on for eight long paragraphs about herself and how the ingredients used to be her neighbor who she had a whole long issue with in past with but has worked though it all. Ugh!

Just get to the fucking ingredients!

R37 Blasphemer!

Naah, r36. Rogers, off the field, is a bore.

If you need to explain the joke R38....

Have to leave the house for the 1st time in 4 years, help!

How do I remove my feeding tube and do I need to pause me Netflix and Amazon accounts?

I Still Don't Trust Those Self-Driving Cars

WHET that untalented little gremlin Billie Eilish? The one who looked like she stank?

Eldergays, tell us about the polar ice caps.

I know 60 dollars a month seems like a lot but since Hulu, Netflix, Prime and YouTube combined it is just so convenient for all of the channels I watch to be in one place together.

What plants should I introduce to my garden this year? I'm in zone 16.

Madonna and Rosanna are together again in “Desperately Seeking Susan II.” When the Alzheimer’s-stricken Susan (Madonna) escapes from her nursing home, her best friend Roberta (Rosanna Arquette) and Roberta’s family (husband Des, their grown children, and their grandchildren) must comb artsy bohemian New York City to find her.

[quote]I know 60 dollars a month seems like a lot

Yes, 60 dollars is a lot for pointless bitchery and DataLounge still doesn't have an edit function.

Why are parents still mutilated their son's penises?????? Will the tears ever stop?????

My Eldergay Children !!!! Come see me at my new concert series kicking off in Mars Safe Zone Arena !!!!! When you are looking at I am looking at you , I really am ......

It's time for another remake of A Star is Born! Let's start casting it...

Cockgobbler Aaron Schock finally came out: aged 59! Because his 5th set of pec implants are killing him!

Can we ever forgive him?

WEHT Timothy Chalamet?

"WEHT Timothy Chalamet?"

Three years ago, in 2037, Walt Disney's frozen head was thawed out and attached to Timothée Chalamet's body for reasons that remain unclear.

Eldergays, tell us about Democracy and the US OF A .

Democracy had a great ass but couldn't live forever.

I'm sorry but I think Hunter Biden has too checkered a past to topple President Baron Trump.

Sick of these damn reboots!

Especially the woke ones.

I don't want to watch "Candywoman"!

First it was "Me Too" then it was "You Too!" and now it's "Why Not Me?". Where does it all end? The only ones benefiting from this all are the attorneys.

Does anyone miss small penises? I sometimes do, I'll admit.

Did anyone enjoy the revival of Cats starring Imelda Staunton as Grizabella? For an old prostitute cat, Imelda was pretty manic.

I wish I had bought some shares of Plasmatron-Mediapolis 3000 when it was cheap. They go for 2.3 trillion units per share nowadays.

That merger really made a difference for the DataLoungeWorld Empire. Imagine what things were like in the old days, before virtual face slapping and trollkills.

I never thought they would attempt a reboot of The Golden Girls. Sarah Jessica Parker, Jennifer Aniston, Mayim Balik and Kathy Griffin. Wonder if it will have the same spark as the original?

President Bieber. I still can't get used to it.

I met someone who called me a "nice young man" today. Can you believe there are still people alive who acknowledge the archaic concept known as "gender"?

[quote]I met someone who called me a "nice young man" today. Can you believe there are still people alive who acknowledge the archaic concept known as "gender"?

It was irony, dear.

The porn industry is showing its homophobia by only objectifying "straight acting" guys and pretending they are all "gay for pay"

Have you heard? An international bidding war has broken out in the publishing world for Chelsea O'Donnell's tell-all memoir "Rosie Dearest: Because I'm Not One of Your Cutie Patooties"!

Blue Ivy Carter comes out with a new hologram concert so it is like she is in your living room singing directly to you.

Should we posthumously give Hillary the presidency since she was clearly robbed of it in 2016, 2024 and 2032?

Most of these people will probably be dead by 2040.

Millie Bobby Brown wins Best Actress Oscar for Amy Winehouse biopic

Pussy still stinking here.

Just saying.

Judy who?

Joan who?

Bette who?

Barbra who?

OH GOD. I LOVE BARBARA STANWYCK!

"Judy who? "

Keep up. The new cloned Judy is opening at Caesar's next week. Bionic Liza is opening for her.

Word on the street is that King Donald II had his younger half-brother, Barron, executed to prevent any challenges to the line of succession to the throne. Makes one wonder about Ivanka's plane crash, and Eric's tragic "hunting accident" a few years back...

On a more positive front, Dowager Queen Melania has announced that she is now against the wholesale rounding up and imprisoning of LGBTQ people ("queers") if they show any signs of being good at fashion design or other "trades useful to the ruling classes."

What ever happened to fibromyalgia? Nobody seems to talk about it anymore.

Real Estate: Michael Jackson’s Neverland ranch still seeking serious buyers.

Does anyone miss me? I've been dead almost 20 years. I hear you have your own starving children now in the Free Confederate Trump Corporation of America.

Terrible casting. Timotheé is clearly a gender-nonspecific Phyllis, not a gender-nonspecific Sally.

[quote] Most of these people will probably be dead by 2040.

Oh please god yes

Who knew vaping was bad for your health?

Friends No More: Jennifer Aniston refers to her former bestie as Courtney Sucks Cox

I can't believe it's 2040 and John Travolta and Hugh Jackman still haven't come out.

Bernie Sanders announces his 7th try for the Presidency.

Finally, Meghan McCain got fired from Season 43 of The View.

What became of your local Walmart. At first ours became a trampoline park, now it's just empty.

Trump grandson, Moishe Kushner, throws his hat into Israeli PM race

Jake Gyllenhaal and Tom Holland divorce. Judge awards joint custody of their three children.

Nan Michigancyborgwomyn here, heading for MichOrbit for the big ladyswamp do!

Vagina Flying Capes, Menstrual Pods, the BoyShuttles and the famous Replicator Vegan Squash Cakes!

Can anyone give me a ride? I don't have any money for plasmabursts but I'll sing all the way there for you! My service android Lucy 2 broke down and I had a lot of trouble getting her properly lubricious again. She was leaking all over and it made my mice sick.

Taylor Swift is mad about something again.

Has 110-year-old Stephen Sondheim commented on the just-released movie version of "Merrily We Roll Along"?

CATFIGHT! Jennifer and Angelina at the same nursing home!

Elderqueers, what did "gay" mean?

現在在這樣的網站上發布是非法的。我們植入您大腦的芯片將為您提供到最近的教育營的指導

Do you remember where you were when Trump.... you know.

62 year-old actor turned publicist Matt Bomer engaged to 22 year-old up and coming actor.

I can't believe it's 2040 and John Travolta keeps wearing that all-black wig!

[quote] Most of these people will probably be dead by 2040.

Do you know something about Blue Ivy's health we don;t?

Harper and Gideon are all grown up. And they are fucking nightmares!!!

Tom Bianchi's Cryogenically Frozen Head: I've found true love — at LAST!

'Daddies Dearest' by Kit, Henry and Walker Halls

Found in a West Hollywood time capsule:

"Hey, you 2020 twinks! How does it feel to be an Eldergay now? Huh? Huh? "

So Jim Morrison did fake his death. Huh.

A new 20-year study just concluded that there is no discernible taste different between drained pasta and pasta removed from its cooking water with tongs.

Tonight on Dancing With The Stars Season 224:

Aaron Schock

Babysitter Shot Me Boy

Betty White

Pissed off Baby

Janet Jackson

From Will & Grace The Re-Re-Re-Boot, Sean Hayes

Frankie Grande

Former President Pete Buttigieg

With Guest Judge Derek Hough

And I’m your host, Ryan Seacrest.

Baby Sitter Shot Me Boy - 😆😆😆