Gay - number of sex partners in your lifetime?

I am 35 and and have had 9 sexual partners since age 18.

If we're including wanks, I've had thousands. Too many to count.

If we both came to orgasm, probably 5000.

FULL PENETRATION ONLY lmao

Just kidding, you can include oral but plz specify

Around 12 I think? I started having sex when I was 20 and I'm 28 now.

Men always overstate their number. Women downplay their number. I have never met a gay guy who has had over 150 and I am a very nosy person!

Then you must not know many gay guys. Are you guys really only having sex a few times a year? That's insane to me.

Let's do the math: 30/year (min) age 13-40+15/year (max) age 41-53 equals just 990 or UNDER a thousand. The next 10 had better BRING IT.

(Wanna fuck? Bring 10 or 12 buds.)

Hundreds, I literally have no idea but definitely into three figures, maybe four.

For anyone who grew up in the era of rampant cruising, the number has to be in the upper hundreds, if not thousands. However, as someone mentioned above, 90% of those would have been furtive hand jobs, while many of the rest would have been very quick oral contacts. I really suspect that the majority of gay people who respond with 5-6 lifetime partners are ONLY talking about people they've had anal sex with. It would be a rare person who has had thousands of anal-sex partners. Even very promiscuous gay men have probably only had a few hundred anal sex partners in their lives. Let's face it, it's much more complicated - there has to be lube of some sort, many positions require a bed, most people want to have had an opportunity to take care of anal hygiene preparations before they will do it, most people need to be somewhere where they are relaxed enough to enjoy it, etc etc.

Only one. My control freak husband loves the idea that he is the only person who has violated my hole.

16 guys and I am 40. Honestly the men who think “most” gay guys have hundreds probably live in gay neighbourhoods and think that’s normal. Most of the men I know have not had many partners. Maybe a few have had 100. I find the idea that thousands being the norm absolutely ridiculous. If you live in the Castro, then sure. Otherwise a big fat no.

The research is much more accurate than a bunch of anecdotes from sluts on datalounge!! 🤣 Not all of us are promiscuous

Anal - 15 or close to 20, always with protection

Oral - hundreds to 1000

A paltry nine.

And I’m in my mid-40s.

i live in a major city, Was hanging out with a group of guys in their 20's-30s....most said they'd had about 200-300 or so if just oral is included.

Why are American metropolitan gays such thots??. I don’t know anyone who has had that many partners. It’s definitely people on the scene.

Closer to 200. Ugh. Now married and happy and committed.

234 587.

48 and at most, maybe 15 partners and all but two were blowjobs and handjobs.

2,500 is a conservative estimate. I came up with this number when I was part of a study at Columbia University of HIV-negative gay men. We went through my entire sexual history and came up with this number. The researchers said it was one of the lower numbers among study participants. In the 30 years since the study, there have only been about 10 partners.

You’re gonna get a huge distortion in answers on datalounge sweetie. I’ve seen CDC which shows about 30% have more than 50 (and those ones tend to go a lot higher), and the rest of them have relatively boring lives in comparison.

R22 lol that’s nonsense. One of the lower numbers? Considering I’ve looked at dozens of studies and only a few days points went above 2000 I call BS. Link your study then and show us the majority having more than 2500? Any university study will be published online 🤣

data points*, not days points.

100ish?

I have been topped by 3 guys. I have topped 0 guys.

Hundreds. Maybe low thousands. I have a big dick, see...

"A paltry nine. And I’m in my mid-40s."

For me, it was the opposite.

By the AGE of 9, my number of PARTNERS was in the mid-40s.

In high school, I was voted "Most Likely to Suck Seed".

At one time, I would have been able to give an accurate number, since I could (more or less) name all of them. I'll say 20 - 25. I met my BF over 30 years ago, and he's been the only one since then.

[quote]Then you must not know many gay guys. Are you guys really only having sex a few times a year?

A low number of sex partners does not necessarily equal "having sex a few times a year."

R31 lol exactly. Sorry but most men are happy to have sex with the same partner multiple times. It’s called having a boyfriend!

I was the prettiest one.

And I gave America AIDS.

You're welcome.

Maybe 100. I'm 66 and celebate now. Happy to be .

22 sex partners? Oh, honey, that's adorable.

Years ago I seriously sat down with a legal pad (the longer ones) and made a list of everyone I messed around with (to orgasm), putting stars next to the ones I had anal sex with. I came up with about about 250. I've slowed wayyyy down, so I would imagine 300 or so. I never thought of myself as a slut or anything, though I was called one a couple times. I used to live in a touristy part of the country in my mid to late 20s so there were always horny dudes on vacation. It was so simple to hit the clubs, pick the one you wanted and go home with him.

Fucking maybe 40. If were talking about how many guys have given me a blowjob since 2000. Then I would say 2000+

Maybe 40-50, although that includes just oral. Fucking is probably somewhere around 20-25.

I am 28 and had 2

250-300. But anal sex is probably less than 70.

Anal: about 15 Oral, hand jobs, mutual wanks: about 200

I have no idea because it all depends on what "counts".

If I jerk off a stripper in the back room for two minutes, nobody orgasms, does that count?

If I blow a guy in a back room for a few minutes, nobody orgasms, does that count?

What _COUNTS_ for this?

Because if it's only anal penetration to orgasm, my number is very low.

If it's How many dicks have you had in your mouth for any length of time" it's far higher.

If it's How many hard dicks have you had in your hand" it's dramatically higher.

If it requires mutual orgasm, it's pretty low. If it's "one or the other has an orgasm, or both", then it's a lot higher than that.

So how do I answer this question?

It can be anywhere between a number like 5 and a number like 5000, depending on the criteria you select.

I've been anally topped by 3.

I've anally topped 8.

Anal sex is not a huge part of my sexual repertoire.

Fuck R42 just say a number.

Lots and lots.

I lost count around 110 and there haven't been that many since then so I'd estimate around 130-140.

R24, I didn't say the study results revealed that I was one of the lower ones, just that the people conducting the study told me at the end of my first sexual history session that 2,500 was lower than many of the other people they had interviewed. I made a comment that I had never imagined the number would be that high, and one of the researchers (there were two in the room) said, "Oh, that's one of the lower numbers we've seen." Or something like that. It was about 1988 or '89. But believe what you want.

There were about 250 men in the study, and I have no idea how many people they had interviewed before me. The protocol required us to go in every six months for 5 years for a full day of physical, social, psychological and mental testing.

I may look up the study just to see the results, as I don't recall ever seeing them, but I'm not going to jump through hoops to satisfy someone whose knee-jerk reaction assumes I'm lying.

Seems to me that it would depend how old you are and how many years you've been actively gay...AND, how many of those years you had either a totally monogamous or "near"-monogamous relationship with another guy(s).

As stated by others above.....my number is very high if talking about mutual J/O or sucking. Somewhere between 500 and 1000 - using the math as R9 outlined. I started in HS and was single until I was just shy of 40. My, shall we say, turnover rate was much lower as I got older, but yes, between the start and, oh, say age 25, I was a busy bee.

But anal sex.....I've had <10 guys, and the same (my significant other) for the last 15 years.

At least 1000 and that’s not enough

48 here, and I've had five serious sexual partners, and probably as many casual encounters.

R22, R47 here. Just for clarification, most of my experiences were oral, giving or receiving or both. Occasional but rare anal, too, but I've never enjoyed it that much, unless it was someone with whom I was in a relationship.

Very rarely hand jobs, because I never encountered many men who could give me a good hand job. If I was only going to get a hand job, I always preferred jerking myself off. And it was also rare for me to give a guy a hand job without finishing with a blow job.

But I always gave great head and found a lot of other guys who did, also.

If we're talking simple blowjobs as well as full on sex then in the 32 years my sexual appetite was out of control I can say the number is in the thousands. I can also say, if it was hard to get AIDS by letting a man cum down your throat I would have been dead decades ago. Never even caught the clap in all those years.

I was part of this study, which has been going on for over 30 years now.

The study was all anonymous. You were given a cohort number every time you tested and turned in a questionnaire.

The study staff would sit and talk with you after and just be there to answer questions. One of the experienced staffers said that while the risk of contracting HIV orally wasn't zero, it was very low. The highest risk based on their data was, obviously, being fucked.

They taught me how to ask questions of potential partners and how to make wise judgements about situations. It seems like a given now, with all of the internet at our fingertips, but info wasn't always easy to come by in a pre-internet age, and things like gay newspapers, etc. didn't always have that stuff, or it was put on the lowest shelf at the bars because who wants to see that when the bar wants to sell drinks?

Anal only? Way less than 10.

Blowies and handjobs? Probably several hundred.

[quote]I can also say, if it was hard to get AIDS by letting a man cum down your throat I would have been dead decades ago.

Huh???

Yep, sorry. Should have been "if it was EASY to get AIDS". I apparently had a senior moment. LOL

Most do not have hundreds, CDC stats show most have have 2 a year, 30% have 3+ a year. Gay men spend 20 years in ‘partner acquisition’ stages compared to 10 years for heterosexuals, so that’s when they get more partners. If the average spends 20 years at 2 that’s about 40 partners in general, which seems believable. However an anecdotal reply on data lounge is very skewed. The other 30% seem to have very little sex so I think you’re right in your assessment.

Good point about oral and AIDS. Because it was such a constant mantra, I really learned to only like oral. Did anal occasionally - but the risk and the hassle meant it was less than 20% of the time,.

For a single gay guy who goes on dates and hooks up occasionally, 10-20 partners per year is not surprising. Some guys spend 20 years of their lives single even if they settle down for many decades. So that's 200-400 during a 20 year period alone. And gay guys are sometimes active from their teens.

From the time I was 14 to 43, I would guess 5,000. I was extremely promiscuous. When I was 43, I met Mr. Right, and he's been the only one in the past 22 years. It is possible to modify behavior, if you have the right motivation.

I love having a spouse and sex with him is very satisfactory. I have no desire to be "open" or any of that.

But I had fun when I was younger. I enjoyed a lot of the cruising I did, and I don't regret a bit of it.

55 YO......I have had four.........all relationships of more than 5 years..............

Anal penetration twice but oral and other things probably 12 times. I am 32. Almost all of this was since I turned 29.

10-12. I’m 40 and was in a monogamous relationship for 10 years. How do you even keep track when you get past a certain number? I say 10-12 because it’s at least 10 and I’m probably forgetting a couple.

Hand jobs? I’ve never been interested in getting hand jobs. I can give those to myself, thanks. If there isn’t going to be at least some dick sucking, then don’t even bother me.

My sexual activity began when I was 23 (in the 1960s) and lasted until I was 73. I stopped counting after 100, or more than 2 per year average.

I’m 61, and my number is between 50 and 60 men. I came out late... shit, I’ve fucked probably 30 women (late high school , college (i was in a fraternity), and in my 20’s ..). I’m now happily married, and healthy (I rarely bottomed). I enjoyed myself immensely.

This thread makes me feel like a whore. I have had hundreds and oddly compared to most of my friends I am nearly a virgin. I was in San Francisco in the seventies and then in Egypt in the nineties. Lots of sex happened it both places.

oh mercy

I've only had about 34,000 or so. Pretty modest!

Consensual encounters - 54,000

Nonconsensual encounters - 107,000

I touched 2 guys' no-nos. I was really tempted to taste the first guy but he said his roommate had AIDS so I didn't dare continue. The second guy was uncut. The drama of it all. Absolutely revolting. Still HIV- and more or less content. You whores can have your fun. I don't judge.

0 men, 1000s of boys

Right there with you, MJ

But was Janet ever with you in bed at the same time? I don't think so.

You're whores, darlins

Some of you are practically virgins!

R55, Blowies, really? Bitch PUH-LEEZ

Mine was around 1500 , and thats just the ones I can remember . Some nights Id fall off in the orgy room at the Tubs in Orlando and fuck and suck for hours , who could begin to count ? Somehow through all of that , I only had std's twice . IM astonished I didnt drop dead of aids .

Are we counting the guys as I did as part of my escorting career?

I went through a very active druggy bathhouse/sex club phase for a while which brought my total to 500+.

If that hadn’t happened, it would be less than 50.

No HIV here, but no stranger to the free clinic either.

I’m now 52 years old, and hardly fuck at all now. I’m glad I got so much in my youth. No regrets.

Who knows. I never kept count. Counting is meaningless when there’s a constant parade of dick and butt.

More than a thousand. It could be two thousand.

Fucking or being fucked: around 30. Oral and/or hand jobs: around 300

Non paying: 0

Is OP pleading for meaningful interpretations for their own sake, or is she sex-shaming and acting like it's a terrible thing if people think gay men have a lot of sex with a lot of people?

If the latter, fuck you, OP.

PS My count is <20.

Another question for DL HOMOS-How many have you have had hired a PROSTITUTE for sex?

10 -- last year alone.

Butt stuff? Around 20 total. Oral/handies: I've lost count but at least three figures. Being single and iving in a big city makes it really easy to find someone to cum with.

.......

525,600

Not sure how I feel about having lots of sex in my 20s and 30s. I don’t think it necessarily ADDED to my life. At 51, I see sex as a waste of too much of my youth. Getting your rocks off becomes a career for a lot of gay men and distracts from more important things. If I wasn’t chasing dick throughout those years, I would have done different things and accomplished more in my career. Sex is overrated.

R82, that’s exactly my life too and you’re exactly my age.

Racked up a lot during the drug/bathhouse phase. Now, I have a hubby and haven’t had sex with anyone else in 7 years

There was a time when the apps first arrived that I was having sex daily. That lasted at least three years.

And then the drugs and weekend orgies and sex club visits.

Now it’s mainly me, porn, and my hand.

None. I'm a lifelong virgin!

1179 as of last night. That number is accurate as I can make it. I have tried to keep a count since my first, it's my inner autist coming out. I can't be absolutely sure I haven't double-counted some guy I had sex with twice, sometimes I'm not always sure, so the number is as accurate as I can make it.

That number includes 1178 men I had anal sex with and one woman I had vaginal sex with. It does not count oral only. I'm 38 and I started when I was 20. Always wondered how I compared to others. Some of the numbers given in certain studies seem ludicrously small to me.

My one regret is that I didn't discover prep earlier, would love to have had more bareback encounters to date. I started taking it in 2016 on my 917th guy,

I was a virgin until I was 21 years old (nearly 22).

By the time I was 27, I had been with exactly two people (both 'relationships').

By the time I was 30 it was probably up to 5 or 6 (three 'relationships').

In my 30s (no relationships) it skyrocketed. Several orgies were involved.

When I hit 40, I hit a wall. I'm 55 now and haven't had actual real sex with anyone since turning 40. I mean, I paid for it a couple of times (literally twice), and a few quick handies or blowies on strippers in private lap-dance situations, but that's it.

At this point, I don't see me ever having sex with another person again (not even paying for it).

R96- Why aren't you having sex anymore?

I gotta be honest I've had a few dozen. Yet I'm not HIV positive. Most of it was oral.

Sluts!

How many of you with an above average # of sex partners have had STDs? Not judging; I'm actually curious if the assumption that gay men have a higher incidence of STDs than straights.

So, R95, you average 5.5 different guys per month for 18 years.

You must have a giant cock, lots of money, or great drugs.

R97, because I'm old, completely out of shape, clinically depressed, and not attracted to anyone my age, and frankly, I'm find with just jerking off to porn now. The less I have to deal with people the better.

R102-My friend's father is 102 years old. That's OLD. I'm 54 years old, and thankfully I can be attracted to someone my age or even somewhat older. The fact that your depressed seems to override everything else. Get some therapy and or medication.

Only losers keep count..

R103, no thanks. I'd rather not. There's no point. It's too late for me.

Anal - less than ten

Oral -hundreds

Handjobs, frot etc - thousands

Easily 1500 up, probably over 2000

Lost count in the 80's. I'm in my 50's, have not slowed down yet

R105- Where there's LIFE there's HOPE.

R100, I'm R22 and R47. The one with approximately 2,500 partners. I had gonorrhea once, when I was 27. I'm HIV-negative. I assume I was lucky, because I was a big whore.

I still remember the (legal) teen-age boy who gave me the clap. He was tall and thin, with a huge dick. Huge. About as big around as my wrist. I had never seen him before, but later discovered he was even more of a whore than I was. Fortunately, I was treated and cured and never had another STD.

About 2000

This thread creeps me out and makes me want to ever mess with gay men. I’ve only been with two guys ever and am bi. Who wants to be with someone who has had hundreds or thousands of sex partners. Whether such a person has STDs or not, they are a cesspool. Gross.

I rang up about two sexual partners a month from 18 to about 33, though it fell off a cliff thereafter, but still, I'd guess about 300....and I feel like a prude!

Smh

R101: yes, you have correctly calculated the average.

It varied year from year. Some years around 30, while during my first year in London I was like a kid in the candy store - I got up to near 200.

I don't have a giant cock or the looks of a supermodel. I have lived in London, Paris, and Dublin, and other places besides, with frequent trips to cities like Berlin and New York. If you live in a major western city, are reasonably good looking, have a range of types, and are aged between 18 and around 50 you can easily rack up the numbers. Have you ever been to a sex club or sauna? Are you on Grindr? Ever been to an orgy or sex party? Gay men are very available and very up for it these days. Unlike straights, we can look at each other and decide to have sex or not within about 15 seconds or so.

r100 - I'm r61. The only thing I ever got was scabies - twice. I truly was not careful, yet somehow dodged bullets left and right. No HIV, no HEP, no herpes, no syph, no gonorrhea. Nothing!! On the other hand, I know many men who didn't have many sex partners, were safer than I was and yet contracted STDs. Go figure. It's inexplicable.

Well smell R110! Prude HATES it when other people have fun!

The only time I get crabs was from a long term boyfriend. Never got something from a trick. Maybe a cold.

Still nasty though

Haven’t a clue- I can’t even answer how many times I’ve been I love because I’m not sure- heck, I’ve more or less decided that I was not in love with my last partner of 11 years. Infatuated at first and then always turned on- but no love which I realized when it finally ended. Very little feeling of loss- just relief. I missed the sex, but not him and his considerable problems. Life is funny.

Gramps reminiscing about the good old days ^

One who had about 300 sexual contacts over 35 year period, though the number for anal is about 30. I remained HIV negative by not having unprotected anal I got crabs twice in college, and wart on my thighs in my 30s (burned off my a derm). No other STDs and I get tested quarterly as part of my Prep regimen

Some of y’all have some serious impulse and addiction issues that likely stem from trauma, abuse, and rejection. I hope you’re getting therapy to address the underlying issues. It’s so sad

I had some sex with a guy last night. We french kissed and he sucked me nicely for a bit. He wanted me to suck him. I told him I rarely do that. Then he wanted to fuck me. I told him I wasn't into getting fucked either. I kinda laughed and then told him- I guess I have a lot of limitations.

You kind of sound like a self-asshole.

*Selfish asshole.

R123, there is nothing wrong with limitations, preferences, and boundaries. More gay men need healthy boundaries and limits. It’s a good thing

There's also nothing wrong with expecting reciprocity.

Did you tell him you weren't going to do anything to him before you sucked his cock?

Rather, he sucked yours.

Actually it was at a batthouse. He came into my room and we started french kissing . Then he started sucking me. He was WELL HUNG and UNCUT. He had a foreign accent (Italian?) I did not ask. I should be flattered that he wanted to fuck me since bottoms are a dime a dozen.

I've never been to a bathhouse, so I'm not sure of etiquette there. I just know that if I met someone off Grindr and I sucked him and then he kicked me out, I'd feel comfortable calling him an asshole.

R35 Damn, I had that many in just the first couple of days on the Atlantis cruise last month.

R81 Yes Aaron, all of them and the ones back in DC too.

I'm 57, and I'm now somewhere around 2500 partners -almost all anal as well as oral. Only bottomed three times, the rest as top. Never had an STI, even though for many years I was a regular at the baths. Used condoms during the height of the epidemic, but fell off the wagon in the mid nineties. I used to get tested annually, but then became part of a sex study for gay men that began a twice-yearly testing regimen. For the record, I have slightly-bigger-than-average 7.5" (cut, and on the thick side), very hairy, and have always carried an extra 50 lbs. So, not your typical bathhouse twink or gym bunny. No regrets -Even in the face of the ridiculous prudery here from some of the younger gays.

Coincidentally, just last night I was reading Kinsey's famous report (I'm a Kinsey 6). It says that 37% of American men have had sex with another man to the point of orgasm, though the majority never defined themselves as homosexual. MSMs.

A walking cesspool ⬆️

Eat shit and die, [R133].

I’d expect you to be just that type of vulgar person r134

I didn’t start masturbating until I was 23 (I’m 46 now). I know that is an extremely old age to start. I’m not sure why other than naïveté, lack of curiosity, and no one clued me in (at least in my teenage years, I was very focused on studies). Depression could have played a part as well. I also grew up in a small town in the 80s (which isn’t necessarily a deterrent, but it can be if you’re not proactive and no one ever pursues you).

It’s frustrating, because it’s alienating. I mean, how oblivious can one be?

That carried over into my sex activity with others, which never really got off the ground (I already posted my number earlier and that includes no relationships for longer than two months).

Did you have nocturnal emissions then R136? I honestly find it hard to believe - I figured it out before I even was making semen I think. Like 12. How do you not realize rubbing something against it feels good?

R137. I had a couple NEs when I was around 16. I don’t recall having many though. I also went on anti-depressants in my early 20s and had a huge NE right as I was going off them. I started masturbating a short time later. I’m not sure how I finally figured it out and why it took so long, but I did. I recently referenced The Boss Hugo Guide to Male Models in the Super Models You Only Remember thread, which was a tool in me finally figuring it out.

I may have had a low sex drive in general though. Masturbation-wise, there will be periods where I’ll only do it a couple times/month (not just now, but even in my 30s). Of course, there will also be periods I do it daily.

It’s fine if you don’t believe me. It’s pretty unbelievable. But it doesn’t change my reality and personal history, or make me feel any less odd than I already do. I wish I was trolling here, but I am not. I don’t get my kicks from that like some do on here.

Two. One was my ex-wife of 15 years. And one is my husband of two years. I’m in my mid-40’s.

It's so strange that there are some gay guys who still lump all STI's in together. I just had an HIV test and was terrified--despite being at virtually no risk. But I literally could give no fucks about how all the other results come back next week. If I have something (doubtful) I'll get treated.

I’m concerned about HPV. Nothing I can do about it - but throat cancer screening is nonexistent basically so you just have to wait until you bleed.

R141 swallow more, all that creamy seed going down coats the inside of your throat

R140, you sound reckless