Let's be a frau cooking blog

You forgot "I'm a stay-at-home mom wouldn't have it any other way"

I'm the long and rambling lead up to the recipe, which stretches on for 15 fucking paragraphs. I will touch on everything from dearest children's and husband's food preferences to the beauty of fall foliage to how much fun I had on my last vacation , until I FINALLY get to the point and start posting ingredients and instructions.

There's SO MUCH we can do with the silver skin we scrape off the canned salmon! Part I of VII!

The cutesy pics of the recipes in colorful dishes

The [italic]very special episode[/italic] blog post in which our hostess attempts to replicate one of her grandmother's recipes...

I'm the hour it takes for the page to load.

Puhlease like there are no gay men doing kitchen blogs? Mmm hmm. Fraus are boring honey!

The half dozen photos you have to scroll through of shake an back pork chops from every angle until you finally get the the recipe.

I’m Gluten-Free Girl and I own this goddamn thread. Enjoy a thousand sentences about my perfect, rural island life before reaching a recipe that doesn’t work.

Im the carefully curated pic of the hubby and kids so that the world does not notice I have endless hours in the day to focus on food in my sexless marriage.

Remember to use the following liberally:

Scrumptious

Delish

Veggies

Yum

Family style

Kiddos

Hubby

Kid-friendly

Weeknight supper

Mac & Cheese

There. Done.

I'm the competitive Frau who post a link to her own cooking site in the comments section under the premise "this one is even better".

What her family life REALLY looks like.

OP-Do you consider Martha Stewart to be a FRAU?

Martha Stewart is what Fraus aspire to. Only they will never be former models/stockbrokers who married to millionaires who then promote their entertaining book into celeb status and a billion dollar empire. Other than that, yeah, what she dose is doable.

I’m ina garten

Frau food blogs drive me insane. The 100 photos for every recipe. The long personal story I don't give a fuck about. Whenever I click on one by mistake I can't hit the back browser fast enough.

I'm the over-effusive praise from fellow fraus in the comment section who rate the recipe 5 out of 5 stars without them ever having even tried to make the recipe:

"This looks soooo yummy! I have to make it this week!"

I just want the recipe and maybe one photo. The endless photos and unnecessary words drive me mad!

I’m the ‘how can I make this gluten free.? comment.

I'm the cloyingly annoying names that make the fraus think they're so clever: Pinch of Yum, Damn Delicious, Smitten Kitchen, Love and Lemons, etc.

I'm the word "yummy", not to be confused with "yum".

I am the Event Horizon of the Fatuity Black Hole.

We need a link to one of these frau cooking blogs.

Gluten-Free Girl is horrid. Those fucking recipes without any measurements. Those photographs of her with raggedy fingernails and clearly unwashed hands. The years of yammering and bleating and whining over her food restrictions. Her tubby hubby and sure-to-grow-up-to-hate-her kid.

Ugh.

This is actual frau text from Pinch of Yum. Frau writing in the wild. And bear in mind-this is a 15-minute fucking recipe, and she cannot shut up. Just give me the goddamn recipe!

Please tell me you guys eat, love, and are generally familiar with Lo Mein.

Maybe you are a Panda Buffet regular and you not only know Lo Mein, but the people at Panda know YOU when you walk in the door and they waste no time piling high your little plastic tray with scoop after scoop of those stir fried noodles while you watch a little protectively from the other side of the glass, because couldn’t they have given you a bigger scoop like they did last time? come on puhleeeease.

or maybe you mostly know Lo Mein from your growing up days because good news, kids! mom and dad are ordering Chinese takeout tonight (yasssss) and little pre-teen you is most definitely going to eat your weight in salty Asian noodles and then revisit it in the fridge, cold, right before bed, amiright?

Or maybe you’ve never had Lo Mein and you’re giving the rest of us all the look right now. I hear you, sitting high up there, saying that you would never eat cold takeout noodles right before bed. There is judgement in your heart. You think you’re not into this whole stir fried noodles and vegetables thing. In which case:

It’s time for you to get Lo Mein in your life, friends. This is your big day. We’ve all been waiting for you. Welcome to your Lo Mein intervention!

Honestly, WHO EVEN KNEW how easy it could be to make Lo Mein at home? And as a follow up to those of you who did already know, WHY DIDN’T YOU EVEN TELL ME?

Until two weeks ago, I always just assumed that this was some kind of lengthy process involving mysteriously delicious ingredients that I wouldn’t have in my standard Midwestern kitchen, and plus, did you know that you can get a platter of Lo Mein large enough to feed the neighborhood for just $6.50 at the Panda Buffet? So why would we even do this at home? I’m serious – let’s go.

Except hold the phone for just a sec.

Making Lo Mein is not a lengthy process – it’s going to come together in ONE PAN in something like 15 minutes, start to finish. JOY of JOYS. I seriously had no idea when I set out to learn about all things Lo Mein that it would be such a gem of a quick + easy recipe, and not in the way where you’re skimping on anything. Just by nature, it is that simple. Lo Mein doesn’t require fancy or unusual ingredients. Like, at all. A quality soy sauce and sesame oil combo is basically it. That’s your Lo Mein magic right there. For real – just one bottle of good soy sauce and you’re in Lo Mein business. I mean, almost everyone, no matter what their cooking level is, has a bottle of soy sauce in their fridge, right? or at the very least, a few PACKETS of soy sauce from leftover takeout? You know I see you out there. And finally, Lo Mein is awesome as takeout, but it’s more awesome as a mostly-healthy takeout at home dish that can simultaneously clean out the fridge by using up any and all veggies and proteins that a person could ever want in their silky stir-fried noodles. The happiness I feel for this concept… like wows. You do not even know. Recipe scrappiness fulfills a piece of my soul.

I'm the link to Amazon or whatever for the ingredients that were sent to me to feature on my blog. I have to fulfill my merching obligations!

Pinch of Yum. The excruciating bio: I'm Lindsay: former 4th grade teacher, now full time blogger. My husband Bjork and I live in Minnesota. Favorite things include my camera, lake days, and dark chocolate.

If you don't mind reading a short story, you can make this "prefect lasagna." (Near perfect lasagna IS NOT good enough!) If you don't want to stab your eyes out with a fork first.

This blog is written by a self-described "Peloton addict." I wonder if her husband makes her keep a daily video diary?

I might be wrong, and feel free to correct me if I am, but I am under the impression that nothing that has or had a penis has ever written anything like what's quoted at [R25].

The gayest gay who ever gayed, a gay with pink panties nailed to his face and nipples that spurted glitter and 400 dicks in his mouth at once, would never crap out that fucking stream of puerile twee scratch-and-sniff Hello Kitty-fucking-kill-me bullshit.

Agree, R30. Just reading that is like hearing nails on a chalk board. The last sentences alone: " The happiness I feel for this concept… like wows. You do not even know. Recipe scrappiness fulfills a piece of my soul."

What's so maddening about that prose, is that woman actually thinks she's clever - I mean truly believe with absolute certainty that she is a writer.

And clearly I am not because I fucked up the above sentence, but you all know what I mean,

I'm the picture of 6 year old Madysyn with the toothless grin and red pigtails. I'm holding the bowl in one hand and stirring the batter with a wooden spoon in the other.

My brother and I are home-schooled, can't you tell?

Damn you bitches for forcing me to check out this Pinch of Yum frau.

Don't get me wrong. Not all women write like this.

But no men do.

I hate her, R35. I well and truly loathe that frau.

Gimme Some Oven. You don't have to parody these women. They do it to themselves.

It's a good thing that Lindsay of Pinch of Yum is no longer a 4th-grade teacher. If that crime scene of a blog post is an example of her understanding of grammar, sentence structure, and clear and concise writing, the 4th-graders are better for her decision to leave the education field.

"Nooch" popcorn. Isn't she witty? It's short for nutritional yeast!

I'm the term "best ever." I precede the name of any dish.

Brown-Eyed Baker. "Sweet, Savory, Sinful." What a wit!

I'm the "Better than Olive Garden Pasta Fazool" on Kopykat Karen. Hubs literally eats 3 bowls EVERY...SINGLE...TIME I cook it. No more eating out for Eye-talian.

Y'all like my aprons I wear in my pics? I made all of them. Here's a link to my Etsy where you too can have one for only $49.95 plus S+H. Allow 3 months for shipping.

I'm the multiple commenters on every recipe post either asking for substitutions or discussing the substitutions they have made to the recipe. "This is perfect and yummy! My kiddos have Celiac's Disease [sic], so I substituted GF rice noodles for the spaghetti, and I prefer cumin to dill, and I used cottage cheese instead of brie, and we were out of shrimp so I used canned salmon. It was sooooo delish!"

I am going to write a food blog.

It will be called ARE YOU A MAN TOO? IF SO HERE IS SOME SHIT YOU CAN EAT

First recipe: can of sardines my way.

Take can of sardines Cram them up your fucking ass for all I care DONE

[R44] I love it when they pull that pseudo-enthusiastic undermining bullshit.

"I love your recipe but improved it at every step! Would make again!"

I'm the commenter asking "Could I make this ahead of time and freeze it?"

I'm the freezer, bulging with the answer to that very question, [R47].

I am all the things you won't find on a frau cooking blog

Cheese souffle Oysters Rockefeller Veal Prince Orloff Macedoine au champagne Roast duckling Rhubarb tart Eggs Benedict Sweetbreads in vinaigrette Jugged hare Oeufs en gelée Etc.

I'm the ghost of Fanny Cradock, struck with the bitter irony that there are now a million woman less talented and more annoying than I ever was.

[R42] "I believe anyone can learn to confidently make recipes worthy of celebration."

I also believe that I can split the infinitive in my fucking tag line.

The Brown Eyed Baker (no hyphen).

No, the actual, mother of fuck (also no hyphen) Brown Eyed Baker.

Did these cunts grow up in a curse jar?

"Hi! I'm the Brown Eyed Baker. Today we're going to learnt to make a full dinner menu your hubster and littles will love!! Hot Dog Up The Highway - My way! Tuna Surprise with clam sauce! Chocolate starfish!"

🚫 [italic] Let's Not, And Say We Did . . . . . . . . . .

Gluten-Free Girl is annoying.

“ As we have already told you, your dad and I fell in love with each other almost immediately. We both knew at the end of the first date that we had met the right person for us. It took us two more dates to admit it to each other. And we have a good relationship, nearly 11 years later. There have been hard patches and plenty of times we needed to work out stuff. But we do work it out. And we’re much stronger for the broken places. I’m hoping that the fact that you see us loving each other, joking all the time, supporting each other and listening, means that you will choose people who are good for you someday.

But the fact is, I had a lot of not-great relationships before I met your dad. I stumbled and had crushes on men wholly not good for me. He pined and spent time lonely and made mistakes. We found each other at the right time.

Look, at some point, you’ll be both be teenagers and beyond. (Goodness, that seems unbelievable now that you are 8 and 2.) At some point, you’ll fall madly in crush/love with someone and not be able to think about anything else. You’ll go through the high of huge love, the drama of a heart-stomping breakup, the weeping entries in your journals (or messages on whatever app is in demand at the moment), the wishing for more. It’s biological, this sweep through dramatic emotional relationships. I’ll be here when you need to talk.

So it’s okay if you spend some of your adult life splurging on not-great food and eating out more often than you should. As I so often tell you, this is not about being perfect. What in this world is perfect? to quote Mary Oliver. It’s only about being good enough.

And a good-enough relationship with food, it turns out, is the same as a good-enough relationship with another person. Love. Clear boundaries. Lots of checking in and talking. Beautifully mundane. Mistakes. Sticking with it, even when it’s hard. Persistence. Small treats, on a regular basis. Knowing that what you are doing is tough work and messy and real and absolutely worth it. Having a clear goal in mind. Being willing to learn, every single day.

Be the person who stops at the front of the store to pull out your list, your grocery bags ready to be filled with good, nourishing food and more of what you need than what you want. That’s not only a great relationship with food for your budget but also for your body, the environment, the people around you, and your mind.

Make sure there is chocolate on a regular basis, too.

I love you both,

Mama”

I’m the words “super,” ridiculously,” and “stupid/stupidly” - often combined.

Super good

Ridiculously fresh

Super ridiculously yum

Stupid good

Stupidly easy

I’m the word “pop.”

Pop it into the oven

Pop it into your fridge

Pop it up your cooze

I’m the frau commenter in every archived post demanding to know if fried chicken/pancakes/stir fry can be made in her slow cooker.

I foreshadow the Instapot Thots.

I am Mug Cake.

“Yummers”

R58 that sent me down a Chocolate Covered rabbit hole. She eats 3,000 calories a day and she’s that skinny? I’m not buying it. I’m the pretending I really eat AND digest all this crap I post.

I'm the big mac her "hubby" just devoured in a parking lot of a drive thru, while she was busy posting a pic of her new vegan saffron risotto.

I'm the mommy blog with a name/tagline that includes the word "girl". My owner hasn't been a girl for more than 30 years.

I'm the kids who refuse to eat any of the shit our blog mommies have cooked who will instead start screaming and banging on the windows with our fists until our hefty-adjacent parents pick us up a happy meal.

[quote]Martha Stewart is what Fraus aspire to. Only they will never be former models/stockbrokers who married to millionaires who then promote their entertaining book into celeb status and a billion dollar empire. Other than that, yeah, what she dose is doable.

Actually, I think the Pioneer Woman is the patron saint of all mommy food bloggers.

I am Kate Fucking Moss and I have boiling water straight out of my tap. Suck it bitches 🖕.

r64 You're absolutely right. Ree Drummond own this thread. In fact we should read this thread using her voice.

Fascinating that DLers are so familiar with these sorts of blogs.

Helps explain the frauphobia. Or the I'mAFrauWithAPenisPhobia, to be exact

R67-If ever you've googled for a quick recipe, these blogs are unavoidable.

What about the FRAUS who respond to a NYT recipe by saying-I added cinnamon and substituted walnut for the pecans. Other then that it's a fabulous recipe!

Yummy

"My hard to please DH and picky kiddos LOVE this dish".

They never say if 'they' like something. It's always the husband and kids' preferences that matter most. Like they won a gold metal at the mommy olympics.

These blogs are ALL about attention and validation.

R54, Is that for real?

I’m the useless comments by somebody who has not even to make the recipes.

And I am 95% of the comments.

[R54] tl;dr

Short version: "Settle for a fattie".

Why the fuck is this blob of gluten-free dough lecturing her kids on their emotional lives on a cooking blog? Does she think they're going to thank her - when one of them is two years old and can't read anyway - for posting this dreck on a website where people are mildly curious about alternative lifestyle flapjacks?

I'm the fact that your husband and kids are going to eat the meals you make because that is what husbands and kids generally do; and that one's husbands and one's kids are seldom Gael Greene.

"Capital nosh, mater, but I do think the pan-fried Vidalia onion slices were perhaps a minute too long in the duck fat" said no one's family ever.

R32 I had the exact same thought. These boring, long-winded idiots actually think they have both writing AND cooking talent.

My god, who needs a 3000 word dissertation on Love and God on the way to a goddamn recipe for chicken tacos?

R76 maybe I do? Maybe I want to be talked to and learn exit these perfect mom's lives while they share yum chicken tacos?

So inconsiderate.

That Brown Eyed Bitch is really something.

A woman posted that her cookies came out with an odd texture.

BEB replied "you might not have cooked the dough long enough"

I check the recipe.

She omits how long you should cook the dough.

[quote]Hellooo! Long time no talk my friend – it’s good to be back! Grab a cup of coffee and let’s catch up (or click here if you want to go straight to the Sugar Cookie Peach Cobbler for Two recipe, which I would obviously understand!) First, how was your weekend?

[quote]Ben’s family stayed with us last weekend through the week to celebrate Lincoln’s 4th birthday, my Mother-in-Law’s upcoming birthday, my brother-in-law’s recent engagement, and my Father-in-Law’s belated birthday – phew! It was a week full of celebration and between Lincoln’s birthday party, and all of us snacking through the week, we went through TWELVE CUPS of my Secret-Ingredient Restaurant-Style Salsa. YES! If you haven’t tried this recipe yet, get on it pronto. Your feedback has been awesome so far and I’m so glad.

[quote]A few days ago the little boys and I were checking out at Target when Lincoln told the woman cashier “thank you” as she handed him his dollar bin jar of slime after ringing it up (best $1 I ever spent, by the way.) She went on to tell me I was a good Mom for teaching my children to say thank you. It was such a small thing for her to say, but I nearly teared up it felt so good. I’d been feeling lousy this particular day for being extra naggy towards Lincoln about his attitude, so to see him do the right thing and for her to acknowledge it – US – really lifted me up. Moral of the story: we should verbally support people when given the opportunity. I am certainly going to pay it forward!

[quote]Speaking of the L-man – he’s officially four now. Four years old! Three was the most fun, yet challenging year yet. I’d only ever heard of the “terrible twos” prior to having kids, which we didn’t experience at all. That said, I was not prepared to have a “threenager”! Attitudes and mood swings were something new to us over this past year but I hear four is when things start to get a little easier in that department. Mood swings aside, we totally lucked out with this little dude. He gets more caring, curious, creative, sweet, affectionate, funny, and handsome every darn day, and I can’t wait to see what year four has in store for us.

This goes on for a few more paragraphs, of course. I will at least give her credit for posting the link to skip all this tedious BS and get to the food.

I'm trying to think of the straight male version of [R79].

"Wow it's been one heck of a week. Lots of parties with everyone getting married and old and all. Wife and kid won't shut the fuck up. She keeps making that salsa shit and I keep throwing it away when she's not looking. She came in here yesterday - you want to hear this? I couldn't fucking believe it. She was crying because the kid said "thank you" to someone. Actually fucking crying. Made me feel better about lying to her about the finch getting out of its cage when I cleaned it and not admitting I accidentally sucked the fucker up with the vacuum cleaner. It would be waterworks around here until April. Anyhoo, here's my recipe for microwavable White Castle sliders. You'll need a microwave."

R79-God as my witness, I was convinced you wrote that as a satire, but no, it's the real deal. The humble brag recounting the kids being polite and saying thank you was hilarious. See what a phenomenal mother I am? I have taught my children manners. If your child does not say please and thank you, you have failed as a mother.

Speaking of humble bragging, more from the Brown-Eyed Baker. (And I am putting in the hyphen, even if she obviously doesn't know any better. Read on and enjoy slathering things in softened butter.

“I made your pavlova recipe today and it was delicious! As usual, your recipe was easy to follow. There’s four of us here and there’s only one third left. It’ll be gone soon. Thanks for another great recipe!“

“We tried your weeknight bolognese recipe yesterday! Ohmygosh, it was so good. My husband is still talking about it this morning.”

“Michelle, just wanted to tell you I made your beef stew recipe this weekend. JUST INCREDIBLE !! The oven method was perfect and truly brought out the flavors.”

“I just wanted to send you a quick email to tell you that I really love your recipes. I have always loved to cook, but I haven’t been much of a baker. I have been baking more and more and I find that your recipes are always the best.”

Imagine your friends and coworkers gobbling up those special treats that you made for them.

Imagine that the dish you made for Thanksgiving or those cookies for Christmas are all that anyone is talking about and EVERYONE has asked you for the recipe.

Imagine enjoying a slice of warm bread fresh from your oven, slathered in softened butter.

When you become a member of the Brown Eyed Baker community, you’ll experience the joy in creating recipes for family and friends, making the most of time and ingredients available to you, while building your kitchen confidence every step of the way.

Someone should develop a script that hacks the last line the long pre-recipe frau screeds.

“ The happiness I feel for this concept… like wows. You do not even know. Recipe scrappiness fulfills a piece of my soul. Acid is groovy. Kill the pigs.”

I'm the extra, over-the top effort like making biscuits in the shape of hearts. Because if you don't do things like this, you hate your children and are an awful mother. I, on the other hand, am superior in every way.

I'm all the photos of the crotch fruit. because my children are MY LIFE.

I'm the original source from which all the recipes were "borrowed." I never get credited.

I’m the frau’s chirpy responses to all the comments.

So glad you liked it! Great idea, let me know how it turns out! I agree, it’s perfect for a rainy day! Wow, thanks! My husband loves it too! etc etc

I'm all the photos of the crotch fruit. because my children ATE MY LIFE.

*faces blanked out with a ☺ for "privacy", or shot from the neck down.

I'm the genuinely good recipes you can often get off these blogs. I make a "Power-Packed Turkey Sausage Minestrone" recipe from a sweet frau that is super YUM, with ALL the veggies!

I have to admit I really like those time lapsed cooking vids like R84. And that one does look pretty good. I wish all the Frau cooking blogs just had time lapsed vids and nothing else.

I refuse to watch videos. Just write it out.

I'm the post catching everyone up on why I haven't posted in over two weeks.

"Sorry y'all for not posting in a while, but it has been CRAZY these past few weeks. As y'all know we took our vacay to Panama City(which was great, btw, pics to follow). Todd's mother, Sharon joined us for the first time since his father passed away. I think it did good for her to get some "me time". Sharon and I even went for mani/pedis! Can you say, "girl time"? Anywho, when we got back home my brother, Gary had been house sitting and we found out our fur baby, Gypsy(the Shih-Tzu) passed away. Madysyn was absolutely crushed! I had to tell Maddy that Gypsy crossed the rainbow bridge and was in a better place and we said a prayer for her. Gypsy is now in Heaven with Ralph, Todd's dad.

Whew! I told y'all it's been stressful! My spoons ran out a long time ago. Promise I will get another recipe up. We ate at a restaurant in Port St. Joe that had the yummiest bread pudding which I'm working on replicating.

Thank y'all for your patience during this trying time."

I’m the homeschooled kids and her Christian church. We’re there, believe us. And we’re better than you coastals.

As much as I love skewering Frau culture, in fairness I feel that I have to clear one thing up:

For those wondering why online recipes always include a long-winded story before the actual recipe itself, it's because of copyrighting laws.

You can't copyright just a recipe alone, you can only copyright an entire article.

So the only way you can get your recipe copyrighted is if it's part of an article you wrote.

That makes sense and lets some of the better-written ones off the hook.

There's still plenty of navel-gazing and faux frau kookiness left to mock.

I'm Paris Hilton! I cook like you think I would.

This thread would not be complete without the famous Kwanzaa Cake!

Angle Food Cake Apple Cinnamon slices from a can Chocolate icing from a can Pumpkin Seeds Corn Nuts Festive oversized candles.

Cooking Mamas - Doritos Chicken Casserole

R94

Oh, that's interesting. So it's a protection from stealing?

I can't imagine who's going to want to steal these frau casserole recipes and pass them off as their own.

I have visions of Paris Hilton long extensions going up in flames at the stove, or long strands of it falling onto her chopping board with her food.

That’s kitchen 101, TIE BACK YOUR HAIR.

I love how Paris drains “the nasty oily stuff” down the drain of the sink. Well we can tell it’s not her kitchen that’s for sure, she doesn’t care if someone has to pay for the root-rooter man to clear out the pipes after that shit congeals and makes a fatberg.

I’m definitely going to watch this wreck in its entirety later.

R72 it’s all real. Shauna Ahern is ridiculous.

[R100]

Other fraus.

r98 oh my god what the hell is that thing?

r92 - eerily accurate. You're one of them aren't you?

As much as I'd like to kick Paris Hilton in her large vagina, I like her sweater in that picture.

I wonder what would happen if we all posted negative comments on one of the mommy blogs. Example saying oh my God this recipe is so bad I had to throw it out even my dog wouldn't eat it, or something like that

speaking of offal recipes, I miss watching the jazzy vegetarian. I would never cook any of her crap but just having to listen to we are seeing and cook this disgusting meatless dishes that is trying to substitute for meat dishes. it's like an awful car crash on the freeway you don't want to look but you can't turn away.

[quote]I wonder what would happen if we all posted negative comments on one of the mommy blogs. Example saying oh my God this recipe is so bad I had to throw it out even my dog wouldn't eat it, or something like that

It would be 🤯. I often have to remind myself that the rest of the internet is NOT like DL. Mommy blog culture is very polite and supportive. You can't be a snarky bitch, even when it is well deserved.

R94 it's purely about spamming. If fraus were actually suing each other over recipes the courts would be inundated with lawsuits.

If Google were to update their ranking algorithms to weed out this crap, they would be shrieking like banshees.

There are literally browser extensions made to filter out their bloviating bullshit.

I'm the husband. I doesn't exist ( in the blog at least ).

If I was the husband I would force them to shut the hell up, suck my cock and get the hell out of my sight. And take those fucking kids with you.

R109-some of the comments thanking the person for coming up with that are priceless. "This is awesome, thanks for doing this. I don't need to read half a book about all the spiritual meanings of lima beans just to see what their recipe for cornbread is, so this might open up a lot of recipes that I would previously just leave the page of after seeing that scrollbar stretch to infinity." "What about the folks that made it but substituted all the important ingredients?"

[quote]If ever you've googled for a quick recipe, these blogs are unavoidable.

There’s an endless supply of them! And who knows whether any of them actually have good recipes.

R112 agree. They sounded like Data Loungers, made me smile.

R113, when searching for a recipe on Google, use the “-blog” phrase after the name of the recipe. It eliminates 80% of the frau blogs in your search results.

I posted a comment under Pinch of Yum's Chicken Pot Pie recipe, bitches!

OMG R116, you asshole, that post is hilarious.

Damn, was it deleted? There's only two comments from one year ago.

What did it say?

r118 r119 if you're on mobile, the link takes you to the YouTube video instead of the recipe page like it should. Diabolical frau's gotta get the views somehow, I guess.

Here's what it said:

"Lindsay, help! I did everything your recipe said to do but my DH hated it so much that he’s sleeping at a hotel! :(

I included the salt and pepper, the minced garlic, the half onion, the 32 oz chicken broth, the frozen peas and carrots, the flour (HOMEMADE! Yeast is my specialty!), the cornstarch, and the parsley.

Here’s where I think it may have gone wrong:

1.) I didn’t add the rosemary and thyme because I don’t know what sprigs are. 2.) Instead of cutting up my own russet potato I used instant. 3.) They were out of boneless chicken breasts at 7-11 so I used a 30-count nugget from Mickey D’s. 4.) The cream was French Vanilla-flavored.

The DH was tired and grumpy and fed it to our child instead. That would have been fine–he always ends up feeding your recipes to our son–but my child is deathly allergic to onions! (He didn’t have a reaction on THIS particular night but still, I know he’s allergic.) I accused him of trying to murder our kiddo and he put his coat back on and told me that… he’s been seeing somebody else, and they’ve been baking together. Then he told me my cupcakes were dry and tasteless and stormed out!

Please know that I’m NOT blaming you, sweetie! But you should warn that situations like this can happen if certain ingredients are substituted.

5 STARS! xoxo"

[quote] You can't copyright just a recipe alone, you can only copyright an entire article. So the only way you can get your recipe copyrighted is if it's part of an article you wrote.

That's such a Frau justification for all their blabber. These are not master chefs we are talking about. Most recipes 99.99 of them have been made and published thousands of times. And it makes no sense. If you want your recipe to be secret, don't publish online for all the wold to see. And if you think it's being protected, what's to stop another Frau to copy and past it to her cooking blog with her chatter about it.

It's fake justification to have a Frau inspired cooking blog talking about your sexless marriage and dysfunctional spawn.

I used to watch this Italian American Frau with her husband doing the filming in the background. She was entertaining, some decent recipes if you want the Guido type cooking from Jersey or wherever she lives.

That was brilliant, R116. Bravo!!!!

Here's one Frau cooking blog I'll make an exception for. This lady seemed like the real deal. RIP, Clara.

Frau cooking bloggers are second only to frau mommy/lifestyle bloggers in atrociousness. They might be even tied for first place.

I'm the "is there a keto version of this recipe?" comment. It's not that I'm too dense to come up with my own, I just want to be able to indicate with my question that I'm doing keto. Keeping up with the trends, that's me!

I’m bringing gluten-free woke realness in my appropriated hijab! - Shauna Ahern

Im the busy soccer mom who can show you how to make hot dogs at least 47 different way.

I'm the mention of a VERY picky husband, and even he LICKED HIS PLATE CLEAN with this one!

^LOL. They ALL say that.

R116 ? You comment looks like it's been deleted. Cant find anything posted this year on the blog or youtube.

My sister-in-law used to be a food blogger, She said 95% of them are psychopaths or sociopaths.

I'm the inexperience and also the cupcakes.

This thread is way too real. All these cooking blogs are way too formulaic. The long boring introductions, the kitschy vocabulary, the comments at the bottom asking for substitutions... it's all too weird. I don't even think these fraus are real to be honest.... just stock photos and bots.

I'm the twenty 5 star ratings within 1 hour after the recipe has been posted for the first time..all saying "I can't wait to try this!" so 5 stars! Then when you make this multi 5 star rated recipe that no one really made, it's maybe 2 stars at best.