Would you ever marry a friend?

Yup.

Isn’t the goal to marry someone you consider a friend???🧐

Not sure. We’d have to get along really well.

Is there sex involved? Is the friend gay or straight and is this a same sex couple or not?

I still want sex. I’m not sure if I could be in a sexless marriage.

OP here. To clarify, this would be a completely sexless marriage. These are two people who already feel like family and decided to marry for many reasons - financial and legal being at the top of the list.

You're right in general, R2, but that's not what I was asking here.

R4, if I could have sex with other men, then perhaps. Like I said, it really would have to be a good, good friend who I got along with dearly.

If I wasn't already married to someone I love in a romantic way, I would consider it.

I'm 100 percent gay, but I suppose that if a female friend was amenable to it, I'd consider it....however all my close friends are men, so it would have been one of them.

Not quite what OP was asking, but I have a friend (another gay man) who I would absolutely marry. We’ve had sex before (many times, actually). Alas, he lives 1,000 miles away.

I did. Gave a friend really good health, dental and vision benefits.

Aww, R8. That’s really kind of you.

r9 .... thanks. it's not as saintly as you'd think. over the years, i had watched TV segments of same-sex couples being arrested for not leaving my local county clerk's office. i was initially trying to get the benefits through just domestic partnership. but at the last minute — like 15 minutes before the county clerk closed — we raced to the courthouse. this was about 2 years ago. he was on Obamacare, which i believe Trump will eventually overturn. I married him not only for the benefits, but also to FUCK! the county as "payback" for denying benefits. Plus, marriage statistics suck. Glad I married. But it's just a contract. And I still believe Obamacare will be toppled. So get married and enjoy or spread the benefits while you can.

The two friends I was mentioning in the OP weren't and aren't, to my knowledge, romantic with each other. Or that wasn't the basis of their relationship. They'd moved all over the country together since they were teenagers. One of the men had parents that died young, so the other guy became his family, and they just decided a few years ago that dating wasn't working for them (both in their 50s) and that it might make sense to marry, be each other's legal guardians and caretakers, get Soc Sec (if it still exists!) and so on.

So - in the absence of a relationship with someone else - would you do it? Would you wait until a certain age to say, OK, this works now?

Sorry if that wasn't super clear - I thought the title was clear but hearing from some that they were confused.

R11, I can’t imagine that they haven’t fucked at this point. If I was going to marry a man, even if he’d been a platonic friend up until then, I’d still expect us to fuck.

People who describe their spouses as "my best friend" always make me feel slightly ill. Sexual love and intimacy and friendship are not the same thing.

If you mean would I marry someone to help them out--the way Auden married a Jewish woman to rescue her from the Nazis--that's very different. And yes, I would. Of course.

R12 They may have, but both of them were also drag queens and I think one tried to transition in the 80s so I super don't think that was what their decision was about.

It could totally be for others, though. And I could see open marriages in the old fashioned way - very discreetly, while appearing with one's spouse in public.

[quote] but both of them were also drag queens and I think one tried to transition in the 80s so I super don't think that was what their decision was about.

which is to say: they both used to cruise for butch guys and rough trade! LOL

Sure as long as there was no sex involved and we understood that. It would be like having a roommate or a brother. But it would have to be someone I've known for many years and trusted absolutely. Someone I was very familiar with.

It's always either sex or benefits, other than that marriage is pointless.

I totally get it. Just for companionship. I live with my childhood friend who has serious mental and physical health issues. It's easier for me to look after him if we live together and the connection between us is very strong. On bad nights we sleep in the same bed. Lots of people assume we're a couple.

Does the Federal government allow same-sex couples to collect the Social Security benefit of the other, if one spouse dies?

R11, yes, I would. For companionship and helping each other out, sure.

Some friend is ok to marry if he has the money. But when it is Donkey friend is best stay friend.

[quote]People who describe their spouses as "my best friend" always make me feel slightly ill. Sexual love and intimacy and friendship are not the same thing.

But they are related for MANY people.

You can fuck someone all you want, but that doesn't mean that you'd necessarily want to spend time with them. You can spend time with someone and not know anything about them.

For some people it's totally possible to have all three and I'd like to think if one aspect of that triangle kicks it, the other two can act as a great redundancy to keep a pair together if they want to be.

I'm not sure I see the point. Why can't you just commit to each other without the paper?

R23 Because marriage grants a lot of rights and benefits in one fell swoop, I assume.

Or maybe it just dots an i or crosses a t that people want to complete.

R19 yes

Caveat; never put this idea to your close straight friends, even as a joke or a hypothetical. They do not like it when you dare gainsay the sacrednesss of their institution, and will like as not take it the wrong way and distance themselves from you to shore up their own sense of security. I lost a childhood friend this way, and over a drunken laugh during College no less.

It’s a fantastic idea between gays, however. Sticking together will ensure survival and preservation of a dying culture.

R26 All true - though straights have been doing this for years.

Not every marriage is a love match per se. Some are for the same kind of reasons we're talking about here.

Just the tax benefits alone are worth it. I'm in the six figure salary range and I paid about $20K in federal taxes, it does down to about $10K to $15K when I married.

in essence or tax code benefits the married.

No, OP. I would never marry a friend (and live together in a sexless relationship). I wouldn't get married to anybody, actually. Too hard to get out of a marriage.

I would totally do this. I'm pretty much asexual now, so don't care about sex, a prenup would keep our finances secure; bonus, we would have companionship in a home where you're not tripping over each other.

Some of y’all need to start having sex again. Me, included, but still.